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Raising Boys: Why Boys Are Different--and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men
A revised edition of the bestselling and practical guide to the issues parents face in raising sons--including sex, violence, homework, sports, the Internet, and more--and how to best aid boys' development from birth to manhood.
From award-winning psychologist Steve Biddulph comes this new edition of Raising Boys, his international best seller published in 14 countries. This complete guide for parents, educators, and relatives includes sections on bullying, online pornography, social media, and how boys' and girls' brains differ. With gentle humor and proven wisdom, Raising Boys focuses on boys' unique developmental needs to help them be happy and healthy at every stage of life.
From award-winning psychologist Steve Biddulph comes this new edition of Raising Boys, his international best seller published in 14 countries. This complete guide for parents, educators, and relatives includes sections on bullying, online pornography, social media, and how boys' and girls' brains differ. With gentle humor and proven wisdom, Raising Boys focuses on boys' unique developmental needs to help them be happy and healthy at every stage of life.
226 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1997
1019 people are currently reading
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About the author
Steve Biddulph
110 books175 followersStephen John Biddulph AM is an Australian author, activist and psychologist who has written a number of influential bestselling books; and lectures worldwide on parenting, and boys' education. He is married and has two children and grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 408 reviews
June 1, 2020
سلام، کوتاه بگم که من معمولا سطح توقعم از کتاب های تربیتی خیلی بالاست و در ۹۰ درصد موارد سطح توقعم برآورده نمیشه، اما در این کتاب نه تنها برآورده شد جتی بسیار بالاتر از سطح توقعم بود. و باعث شد با وجود اینکه اصولا اعتقادی به اینکه کتاب های تربیتی بتوانند ۵ستاره بگیرند ندارم بهش ۵ستاره بدم. نکته های خیلی مهمی توی کتاب هست و مهمتر از همه اینکه روده درازی نمیکنه و مطالب رو خیلی مختصر و مفید و قابل درک ارائه میده و جمع بندی های آخر فصل هم عالیه.
January 7, 2008
there were a couple of things that i got from the book that i thought were interesting and worth putting into practice, but for the most part i found myself questioning or doubting most of what the author said. i probably wouldn't recommend it as a must-read parenting book.
September 28, 2011
I'm a parent educator and have read dozens of books on boys with a view to which will most help parents. Biddulphs book Raising Boys wins hands down because its readable by parents who don't have a lot of education, but its not dumbed down, he takes the best brain science, education research, and family therapy experience, to help parents get a grasp of how to understand boys. He hits the sensible midway spot between the extremes like Sax (its all in the genes) and the old thinking that gender didn't really exist.
In my home country (Australia) this book is in over a million homes, and everyone uses or knows about it. You don't always have to agree, and Biddulph himself says this - he is a professor of psychology but you'd never know it, its humble, funny, and full of very touching stories. He also gives mothers their own voice. There were places where I teared up, especially in understanding the terrible wounds to men from lack of fathering in the 20th century.
Best bits - the three stages of boyhood. Knowing that boys have to be actively taught to be gentle and helpful. Encouraging fathers to be more involved, and how rough and tumble play helps make boys better at self control. And that boys need to learn to cook !
In my home country (Australia) this book is in over a million homes, and everyone uses or knows about it. You don't always have to agree, and Biddulph himself says this - he is a professor of psychology but you'd never know it, its humble, funny, and full of very touching stories. He also gives mothers their own voice. There were places where I teared up, especially in understanding the terrible wounds to men from lack of fathering in the 20th century.
Best bits - the three stages of boyhood. Knowing that boys have to be actively taught to be gentle and helpful. Encouraging fathers to be more involved, and how rough and tumble play helps make boys better at self control. And that boys need to learn to cook !
January 11, 2012
Quotes like:
"Many gay or bisexual men I have spoken with say the lack of fatherly affection was part of what made male affection more important to the."
"We aren't saying here that all instances of Attention Deficit Disorder are really dad deficit disorders - but quite a lot are."
"If a mother is terribly depressed and therefore unresponsive in the first year or two of her son's life, his brain may undergo changes and become a 'sad brain'. If she is angry, hitting or hurting him, he will be confused over whether she loves him."
These caused me to very quickly realize this is definitely NOT the book for me.
"Many gay or bisexual men I have spoken with say the lack of fatherly affection was part of what made male affection more important to the."
"We aren't saying here that all instances of Attention Deficit Disorder are really dad deficit disorders - but quite a lot are."
"If a mother is terribly depressed and therefore unresponsive in the first year or two of her son's life, his brain may undergo changes and become a 'sad brain'. If she is angry, hitting or hurting him, he will be confused over whether she loves him."
These caused me to very quickly realize this is definitely NOT the book for me.
April 18, 2014
It's somewhere between a 2 and 3 star book, I'm feeling generous today. It's an easy book, very simple conceptually, and I spent a lot of time frustratingly going 'girls are the same apart from lacking a penis'. However i think if it's your first child, and you're looking for a child raising book with a male slant, it's ok. I was more interested in a book which identified a child's male specific characteristics, and apart from the aforementioned penis, and a lot of either unsourced or poorly sourced research on random boy stuff, there wasn't much. But like I mentioned before, it's an ok book to add to the myriad of other childraising books that you're likely to read to ensure your parenting guilt complex is well developed early on...
February 2, 2009
One word for this book: worthless. The tiny tidbits of useful information were dumbed-down to a ridiculous degree. The author used sweeping generalizations without citing any research. Example? He states that most students who do well on achievement tests do not do well in college. Um, what? Research please. His advice to parents is so broad and so common-sense it is laughable. My favorite? The best way for fathers to teach their sons to treat women well is to not hit thier wives. Really? Shocking! Reading this was a complete waste of time. Good thing it only took an hour an a half.
April 16, 2021
I didn't agree with everything in this book, but I enjoyed the author's warm and good-natured tone. The most helpful and interesting take-away point for me is the concept of Adrenarche—a hormonal surge that occurs in eight to nine year old boys that can cause sudden emotional upheaval in an otherwise rational, laid-back, happy little dude. As mental health diagnoses in young boys seem to be on the rise, and as I watch my own sons get older and evolve into small men, it is striking me as increasingly vital that I am aware of the hormonal stages that boys go through as part of their healthy development. This was my primary reason for reading this book—to be cautious and aware amid what I worry is Western culture's tendency to medicalize normal childhood feelings, behavior, and stages. (This is not to say that all diagnoses are wrong—I am just humbly wondering if our sincere concern for a boy's well-being, paired with our surprise and dismay at the sudden changes he's experiencing, compels us to travel down the psychiatrist’s road too quickly sometimes.)
On a different note, it's funny to me that many reviewers found this book "too conservative and traditional." Though he peppers his book with a million and one qualifications to appease the activists of our day—almost to the point of becoming tedious and seeming wishy-washy—the author is willing to die on two hills. Hill 1: In general, there are meaningful differences between boys and girls that ought to influence how we bring up sons. Hill 2: The father plays a crucial and irreplaceable role in the development of his boy's character and identity, hugely affecting the boy's outcomes in life. Though these beliefs seem patently obvious to me, holding to them apparently makes you a raging conservative these days.
On a different note, it's funny to me that many reviewers found this book "too conservative and traditional." Though he peppers his book with a million and one qualifications to appease the activists of our day—almost to the point of becoming tedious and seeming wishy-washy—the author is willing to die on two hills. Hill 1: In general, there are meaningful differences between boys and girls that ought to influence how we bring up sons. Hill 2: The father plays a crucial and irreplaceable role in the development of his boy's character and identity, hugely affecting the boy's outcomes in life. Though these beliefs seem patently obvious to me, holding to them apparently makes you a raging conservative these days.
February 17, 2012
"Read" probably isn't the right descriptor for this book, which I'm returning to the library mostly untouched. I checked it out only because our favorite librarian, when I checked out another parenting book, recommended this to me as a great way for mothers to learn about their boys and what makes them tick. I probably should have realized that any book subtitled "Why Boys Are Different" wouldn't be a good fit for a mom who dresses her son in his girl cousins' hand-me-down Mary Janes! (Which are way better for traction on an emergent walker than anything else he owns).
I wasn't expecting this book to acknowledge our particular family structure, but I was horrified on behalf of heterosexual families everywhere that Steve Biddulph thinks dads need advice like:
-A good way to teach your son to respect women is for Dad not to smack Mom around.
-Dads should be attentive to their sons lest they turn out gay due to lack of male attention.
-Whether or not it makes them gay, lack of fatherly attention can also give boys ADD.
All that plus a generous helping of sweeping generalizations about boys backed up by minimal scientific evidence made this a very quick "read," indeed. I'm on to what I've heard is a more scientific guide, It's A Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development From Birth To Age 18.
I wasn't expecting this book to acknowledge our particular family structure, but I was horrified on behalf of heterosexual families everywhere that Steve Biddulph thinks dads need advice like:
-A good way to teach your son to respect women is for Dad not to smack Mom around.
-Dads should be attentive to their sons lest they turn out gay due to lack of male attention.
-Whether or not it makes them gay, lack of fatherly attention can also give boys ADD.
All that plus a generous helping of sweeping generalizations about boys backed up by minimal scientific evidence made this a very quick "read," indeed. I'm on to what I've heard is a more scientific guide, It's A Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development From Birth To Age 18.
January 8, 2011
A gentle, funny and challenging book with loads of good ideas, especially for a mum who grew up without boys in her family. Biddulph tells quite gritty stories, doesn't prescribe or have insulting tip-lists like a lot of parenting books. I completely disagree with those reviewers who dismiss it as simple- its deceptively deep, but just accessibly written. Biddulph's work is very famous here in Australia because he aims to reach those who have less education and of course DADS (LOL) and so he uses plain language. But his science is spot on (and I have a neuropsych background).
He doesn't put too much emphasis on gender differences, but he does tell you when and where they do occur.
Especially those changes at four, thirteen and fourteen, which parents need to know about.
He makes some people uncomfortable with his frankness, and especially challenges dads to do a better job, but he doesn't patronize them. My husband loved the book and you could see him making an effort to do better.
Here in Australia thousands, if not tens of thousands of parents have questioned whether their boys are ready for school, and made more thoughtful choices, one way or the other, based on this book, and it has changed school practices to becoming more boy friendly.
There are thicker books, but without such practical help, and more partisan books, but Biddulph hits the spot.
He doesn't put too much emphasis on gender differences, but he does tell you when and where they do occur.
Especially those changes at four, thirteen and fourteen, which parents need to know about.
He makes some people uncomfortable with his frankness, and especially challenges dads to do a better job, but he doesn't patronize them. My husband loved the book and you could see him making an effort to do better.
Here in Australia thousands, if not tens of thousands of parents have questioned whether their boys are ready for school, and made more thoughtful choices, one way or the other, based on this book, and it has changed school practices to becoming more boy friendly.
There are thicker books, but without such practical help, and more partisan books, but Biddulph hits the spot.
January 21, 2008
Very conservative views... I stopped reading it.
April 21, 2020
It was okay. But definitely not my favorite by this author.
June 28, 2020
Book review
Book title: Raising Boys
Written by: Steve Biddulph
The main reason I picked up this book is because of the unknown territory I was getting myself into with raising two wonderful boys. For those who didn’t pick up on that, unknown territory=major difficulties. Mothers of boys seem to be out of breath and on their nerves all the time because, surprise surprise, boys put themselves in difficult physical situations which sometimes lead to bumps and bruises. Boys will be boys, right?
In a nutshell, there are three stages of boyhood: 0-6, 6-14, 14+ where they need different people to connect to. The book discusses how moms are important (thank you), how dads are important, and how other adult males are important too (mentors, uncles, teachers, coaches, grandfathers) to show them different male figure they can resemble - as opposed to the butch superheroes and bad guys portrayed as manly-men in media.
Recommended for mothers who need to give their boys a break when it comes to studies, their brains don’t function the way girls’ do.
Book title: Raising Boys
Written by: Steve Biddulph
The main reason I picked up this book is because of the unknown territory I was getting myself into with raising two wonderful boys. For those who didn’t pick up on that, unknown territory=major difficulties. Mothers of boys seem to be out of breath and on their nerves all the time because, surprise surprise, boys put themselves in difficult physical situations which sometimes lead to bumps and bruises. Boys will be boys, right?
In a nutshell, there are three stages of boyhood: 0-6, 6-14, 14+ where they need different people to connect to. The book discusses how moms are important (thank you), how dads are important, and how other adult males are important too (mentors, uncles, teachers, coaches, grandfathers) to show them different male figure they can resemble - as opposed to the butch superheroes and bad guys portrayed as manly-men in media.
Recommended for mothers who need to give their boys a break when it comes to studies, their brains don’t function the way girls’ do.
February 18, 2008
I got lots of great insight on this book. One big arguing point in this book is chapter 7 - Developing a Healthy Sexuality. I do NOT agree that I should be teaching my little boy how to masterbate and that I should have open conversations about his sex life whenever it starts. Omit that chapter, and I could recommend it to anyone. If you want to borrow this book, be prepared - I have marked through that chapter!!
October 18, 2023
I found this to be really helpful and no-nonsense. It’s not necessarily revolutionary - boys need warmth and love, attention from men in their lives, good role models, ways to move their bodies, clear and fair rules, extra support with verbal and written language, etc. - but helped me feel more equipped to raising a boy in a world that does not always understand or value boys. It helped me gain a clearer sense for my role in his life, as well as how to help him develop into an emotionally mature, healthy, and happy man who treats others well and has a positive self esteem. I’ll come back to this one! (Writing style is not my favorite and he definitely makes some bold claims matter of factly.)
March 25, 2023
Obwohl ich bereits auf Seite 7 ahnte, dass dieses Buch wenige neue Erkenntnisse für mich bereithalten würde und obwohl mich die recht stereotypen Zuschreibungen für Männer und Frauen ermüdeten und auch die einfache Sprache mäßig unterhaltsam war, habe ich fleißig weitergelesen, um mir nicht vorwerfen zu müssen, ich würde meiner Vaterrolle zu ungeduldig begegnen.
Sicher sind manche Absätze zum Hormonhaushalt (Testosteron) und zur Unterstützungsbedürftigkeit von Jungs in der Schulzeit Ermahnungen zur Sorgfalt. Vor allem als Lehrer vieler Jungs im gefährdeten Alter zwischen 6 und 14 war das ein erhobener Fingerzeig, der durchaus mal angebracht ist: Auf die Jungs zu achten, die häufiger unter Schulproblemen leiden als die anpassungsfähigeren Mädchen. Das deckt sich insgesamt mit meinen Erfahrungen.
Meistens fasst der australische Psychologe Biddulph in diesem Grundlagenwerk aus den 90ern, das mir das Youtube-Phänomen Vera Birkenbühl empfahl, verschiedene Themen (Liebe, Vorbilder, Elternbeziehung, Schule, Sexualität, Clique...) in recht offensichtlichen Denkbewegungen, die wenig Neues bieten, oft unsystematisch und vor allem recht beliebig wirken.
Direkte Handlungsansätze für meinen 8 Monate alten Floh konnte ich nicht mitnehmen. Erheiternd waren eher die Zeitbezüge zu den 90ern, etwa die Frage mancher Väter, ob kleine Jungs durch ein übermäßiges Kuscheln mit dem Papa nicht schwul werden könnten. Dass Biddulph hier noch ganz ernsthaft (und im modernen Sinn) antwortet, kann man als Klischee-Mief vor 30 Jahren abtun, aber natürlich auch als a-moralischen wissenschaftlichen Gestus. Ich mochte diese Direktheit. Mir gefällt auch die Idee, dass Männlichkeit wieder als Gemeinsinn durch Riten zelebriert werden sollte. Nicht gegen den Feminismus, sondern als gleichzeitige Stärkung positiv besetzter Männlichkeit.
Ok. Keine schlechte Lektüre, aber auch keine, die ich unbedingt weiterempfehlen würde.
5 von 10 Punkten.
Sicher sind manche Absätze zum Hormonhaushalt (Testosteron) und zur Unterstützungsbedürftigkeit von Jungs in der Schulzeit Ermahnungen zur Sorgfalt. Vor allem als Lehrer vieler Jungs im gefährdeten Alter zwischen 6 und 14 war das ein erhobener Fingerzeig, der durchaus mal angebracht ist: Auf die Jungs zu achten, die häufiger unter Schulproblemen leiden als die anpassungsfähigeren Mädchen. Das deckt sich insgesamt mit meinen Erfahrungen.
Meistens fasst der australische Psychologe Biddulph in diesem Grundlagenwerk aus den 90ern, das mir das Youtube-Phänomen Vera Birkenbühl empfahl, verschiedene Themen (Liebe, Vorbilder, Elternbeziehung, Schule, Sexualität, Clique...) in recht offensichtlichen Denkbewegungen, die wenig Neues bieten, oft unsystematisch und vor allem recht beliebig wirken.
Direkte Handlungsansätze für meinen 8 Monate alten Floh konnte ich nicht mitnehmen. Erheiternd waren eher die Zeitbezüge zu den 90ern, etwa die Frage mancher Väter, ob kleine Jungs durch ein übermäßiges Kuscheln mit dem Papa nicht schwul werden könnten. Dass Biddulph hier noch ganz ernsthaft (und im modernen Sinn) antwortet, kann man als Klischee-Mief vor 30 Jahren abtun, aber natürlich auch als a-moralischen wissenschaftlichen Gestus. Ich mochte diese Direktheit. Mir gefällt auch die Idee, dass Männlichkeit wieder als Gemeinsinn durch Riten zelebriert werden sollte. Nicht gegen den Feminismus, sondern als gleichzeitige Stärkung positiv besetzter Männlichkeit.
Ok. Keine schlechte Lektüre, aber auch keine, die ich unbedingt weiterempfehlen würde.
5 von 10 Punkten.
December 6, 2022
After finding out we were having a boy, I’ve been plagued with all sorts of concerns on how to raise a good man who will add value to society and live life the “right” way. Perhaps after years of seeing Indian society treat its boys so differently from its girls, these fears have only been amplified. Biddulph’s book does a wonderful job that I think works well in a multicultural world, laying out some basics that you can adopt in your parenting journey to raise a good son. Try as I might to strive for a gender equal world, and I really do, it is also worth noting that children do have their differences and a lot of that is just biology. With that, this book helps in understanding how to harness their innate goodness and innocence to enjoy their growing years. I’d love to read his book on daughters too, but we’ll wait for that :)
January 29, 2025
A bunch of common sense stuff. Good to remind yourself once a while.
The line about 50-60 hour workweek making it almost impossible to be a good dad left me dejected.
The line about 50-60 hour workweek making it almost impossible to be a good dad left me dejected.
February 7, 2010
This was a pretty good book. Provocative, thoughtful, full of sound research and hitting a lot of the key points parents of boys worry about, wrestle with and argue over.
Some of the things I took away from it:
*Its extremely important for adolescents (but perhaps especially boys) to have mentor types who are part friend, part adviser in their...besides their parents.
*Boys needs risks...make sure there are healthy, okay, daring things to do in their lives.
*Boys really need moms and dads but the emphasis takes turns with the parents through the stages of growth.
*Mid-teen boys should never drive a car alone with multiple other boys in it and no adult chaperone.
*Testosterone surges start happening before pubic hair shows up...and it changes how boys think and act.
*Sensitive, respectful relationships with women can be taught...modeling is key, both for mom and dad.
And I'm sure there were a host of other things.....lots of good little highlight-able tidbits in here and a pretty sane attitude about why boys matter particularly although not at all more than girls. Cool info.
Some of the things I took away from it:
*Its extremely important for adolescents (but perhaps especially boys) to have mentor types who are part friend, part adviser in their...besides their parents.
*Boys needs risks...make sure there are healthy, okay, daring things to do in their lives.
*Boys really need moms and dads but the emphasis takes turns with the parents through the stages of growth.
*Mid-teen boys should never drive a car alone with multiple other boys in it and no adult chaperone.
*Testosterone surges start happening before pubic hair shows up...and it changes how boys think and act.
*Sensitive, respectful relationships with women can be taught...modeling is key, both for mom and dad.
And I'm sure there were a host of other things.....lots of good little highlight-able tidbits in here and a pretty sane attitude about why boys matter particularly although not at all more than girls. Cool info.
July 12, 2017
This was a great read for me, I have read a few books about boys and not every boy is the same... so I had to find the one that fit my son. This one was perfect, it gave great insight and really helped me see how I can be a better mother to Alex. This might not be for everyone (boys are different!), but it was perfect for me.
November 10, 2013
If you have a critical mind this book is not for you (I'm insinuating no one should read this book). As a father of two young boys I had a visceral reaction when reading it cover-to-cover and wondered by the end if the author had ever met a boy.
March 4, 2014
So, I have a young son and, sometimes, he's kind of a mystery to me. With my daughter, I knew what I was getting into. Not only did I used to be a little girl, but I have several nieces who I've seen through childhood (I do also have a nephew, but he grew up far from us and we only saw him a couple of times a year). When I found this book, I thought it might shed some light on what was going on with my little guy.
And, yes, it did shed some light for me. Biddulph goes through biological, mental, social, and emotional development of boys. I will say that there wasn't anything that was surprising about the social or emotional development sections, but I did learn quite a bit about biological development of young boys--things that are demystifying my son.
Biddulph also includes a number of "Stories from the Heart" to illustrate some of his points. These vary in usefulness. Some are very enlightening, but some seem rather unneeded or incomplete. Still, I didn't feel that even the least effective of these negatively impacted my experience with this book.
I will admit that this is the first parenting book I've read that focuses on boys. I can't compare it to any other work out there. I can, however, say that this book was of value to me as a parent of a son and I would recommend it to other parents.
And, yes, it did shed some light for me. Biddulph goes through biological, mental, social, and emotional development of boys. I will say that there wasn't anything that was surprising about the social or emotional development sections, but I did learn quite a bit about biological development of young boys--things that are demystifying my son.
Biddulph also includes a number of "Stories from the Heart" to illustrate some of his points. These vary in usefulness. Some are very enlightening, but some seem rather unneeded or incomplete. Still, I didn't feel that even the least effective of these negatively impacted my experience with this book.
I will admit that this is the first parenting book I've read that focuses on boys. I can't compare it to any other work out there. I can, however, say that this book was of value to me as a parent of a son and I would recommend it to other parents.
April 16, 2014
Raising Boys
Why Boys are Different and How to Help them become happy and well balanced men
Steve Biddulph
Published by:Ten Speed Press
I have always been a fan of Steve Biddulph’s very practical books for parents. This one is no different. This vastly popular book has been updated into a third edition.
Raising Boys considers how boys differ from girls, their three stages of boyhood, from birth to preparing for adulthood. It goes on to discuss how to navigate through risk areas for boys.
It examines the relationship between mothers and sons, and fathers and sons. How they are different, and how they develop.
Challenging issues of dealing with testosterone, schooling, sexuality, and sport are dealt with in practical measures.
This book will give you the strategies to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted son.
Highly recommended for every parent.
Why Boys are Different and How to Help them become happy and well balanced men
Steve Biddulph
Published by:Ten Speed Press
I have always been a fan of Steve Biddulph’s very practical books for parents. This one is no different. This vastly popular book has been updated into a third edition.
Raising Boys considers how boys differ from girls, their three stages of boyhood, from birth to preparing for adulthood. It goes on to discuss how to navigate through risk areas for boys.
It examines the relationship between mothers and sons, and fathers and sons. How they are different, and how they develop.
Challenging issues of dealing with testosterone, schooling, sexuality, and sport are dealt with in practical measures.
This book will give you the strategies to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted son.
Highly recommended for every parent.
September 13, 2014
Quick and easy read.
Three things I take away from this book:
1. The 0 to 6yrs, 6-14yrs, 14-adult rule. The first phase is mom's time (helps with emotional stability), the second phase is dad's time (helps with masculinity) and the last phase you'll rely mostly on good role-models. Very interesting concept I hadn't heard put into words like this before.
2. Initiation: helping your boy transition from boyhood to adolescence through some sort of ceremony. This was an interesting idea that deserves further exploration.
3. The importance of role-models to a boy in adolescence. I never before really fully appreciated this fact.
On the other side, I did get a sense from this book that boys are slower than girls. Not sure if this is a fair representation or not.
Will read it again.
Three things I take away from this book:
1. The 0 to 6yrs, 6-14yrs, 14-adult rule. The first phase is mom's time (helps with emotional stability), the second phase is dad's time (helps with masculinity) and the last phase you'll rely mostly on good role-models. Very interesting concept I hadn't heard put into words like this before.
2. Initiation: helping your boy transition from boyhood to adolescence through some sort of ceremony. This was an interesting idea that deserves further exploration.
3. The importance of role-models to a boy in adolescence. I never before really fully appreciated this fact.
On the other side, I did get a sense from this book that boys are slower than girls. Not sure if this is a fair representation or not.
Will read it again.
April 23, 2018
I found this book basic and in some cases offensive. I wouldn't recommend reading it. I spoke to a few people who'd recommended it to me only to find they'd skimmed it or hadn't finished it. I've found the good reads reviews much more informative.
July 14, 2012
Interesting read, most of it made a lot of sense, and I often found myself going "ohhhhh" when faced with something that I hadn't realised before, that suddenly clicked into place!
January 29, 2016
A few good takeaways, but mostly it was full of junk that I would never put into practice.
January 12, 2018
Easy to read, had some interesting points although lots of questionable statements too. Glad I read it.
March 15, 2020
جالب بود... تربیت پسر رو اینقدر پیچیده نمی��دیدم و واقعا این کتاب لازمه کسانی که فرزند پسر دارند هست
December 28, 2020
Dated, sexist, and most importantly, not backed up by adequate research.
November 2, 2021
I picked this up in a coffee shop and found that it held my attention, so took it home - not pilfering, I hasten to add, but taking advantage of the shop's open invitation to its customers. Biddulph has an engaging style - warm, wise and occasionally opinionated ("If you routinely work a fifty-five- or sixty-hour week, including commute times, you just won't cut it as a dad"). His central idea is that boys are different and need special handling, especially at key points in their development, before those differences become the kind of problems that we often see in adolescent men. He traces many of these problems back to poor parenting - and specifically, absent or inadequate fathers. But as boys reach their teenage years, and especially from age 14, other male role models are as important as the father. Biddulph believes that parents, and communities, have a duty to make sure these role models are in abundant supply, to provide the sort of guidance and direction that a boy won't get from his peer group. But there's a catch: boys 'swallow' their role models whole - warts and all - so supplying the right ones is crucial.
One of the book's interesting ideas concerns the rituals that traditional societies use or used for helping boys transition to manhood - rituals which Biddulph believes had purpose and value. We may not want to return to the harshness or violence of some of these rites of passage, but Biddulph believes we need to find ways to fulfil the same functions in our society.
The book is interspersed with letters from parents and stories that illustrate his points, some funny, others moving. Although parts of it have dated, and there is the odd cringe, I felt there was enough wisdom in here to make it worth the read for anyone (particularly dads) bringing up boys who feels they sometimes get it wrong.
One of the book's interesting ideas concerns the rituals that traditional societies use or used for helping boys transition to manhood - rituals which Biddulph believes had purpose and value. We may not want to return to the harshness or violence of some of these rites of passage, but Biddulph believes we need to find ways to fulfil the same functions in our society.
The book is interspersed with letters from parents and stories that illustrate his points, some funny, others moving. Although parts of it have dated, and there is the odd cringe, I felt there was enough wisdom in here to make it worth the read for anyone (particularly dads) bringing up boys who feels they sometimes get it wrong.
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