Forked: A Lighthearted Utensil Romance, book 1

A Lighthearted Utensil Romance #1

by Ruth Cardello

Is that an earthquake or is your fork happy to see you?

Imagine a WWII super soldier and his unit were trapped in cutlery by the government and the only way they could transform back was by being intimate with a woman . . .

Shortly after moving to a new city, Mercedes buys a set of antique silverware from an estate sale and discovers she has a preference for one particular fork. Is the man who appears when the fork disappears real or a salacious fantasy?

If he is real, is he crazy or could he actually be what he claims to be?

Are you open-minded enough to accept him as he is?

And fall in love with a fork?

Find out how far Mercedes is willing to go to save him and his friends in SPOONED and KNIFED.

Cautionary

The spicy scenes in this novella are purely fictional. Please do not attempt to re-enact any of them at home. I don’t want to hear that my readers FAFO (Forked Around and Found Out). Tines hurt. Let’s keep the forks on the table where they belong.

Genres: Romance, Novella, Fantasy, Paranormal, Contemporary, Smut, Paranormal Romance

170 pages, Paperback

Published June 20, 2024

About the author

Ruth Cardello hit the NYTs and USA Today for the first time back in 2012. Millions of sales are evidence that her books are akin to potato chips, addictive from the first one. She has created a multi-series billionaire world with a combination of escapism and realism that has gained her a faithful following of readers.

What Kindle Reviewers write about her:

"Wow hot at every page. Heart stoping, fear raging, mind blowing wonderful."

"I'm a true fan of Ms. Cardello. I ran on to her first book a few years back and have been hooked ever since. I could go on and on about the story like of this book, but I'm not. All of her books are total page turners, unique, heart wrenching, and I love them all. There isn't two alike in the bunch and I feel like i know the characters personally. I personally read 97 authors books. And I buy every book they put out. This author is in my top 10. Great job and keep them coming."

"Love this series. Got me to start reading again. I look forward to the next book. Thank you for giving me the love of reading back."

Ruth Cardello was born the youngest of 11 children in a small city in northern Rhode Island. She spent her young adult years moving as far away as she could from her large extended family. She lived in Boston, Paris, Orlando, New York--then came full circle and moved back to New England. She now happily lives one town over from the one she was born in. For her, family trumped the warmer weather and international scene.

She was an educator for 20 years, the last 11 as a kindergarten teacher. When her school district began cutting jobs, Ruth turned a serious eye toward her second love- writing and has never been happier. When she's not writing, you can find her chasing her children around her small farm or connecting with her readers online.

Email Notice of New Releases: www.RuthCardello.com/Signup

You can find her on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/RuthCardello

Follow her at Twitter @RuthieCardello

If you'd like to email her directly, you may contact her via her website: www.ruthcardello.com

Lone Star Burn Series
Book 1: Taken, Not Spurred
Book 2: Tycoon Takedown
Book 3: Taken Home
Book 4: Taking Charge

Want to hear the song Charles proposed to Melanie with? https://youtu.be/SGZT5nVKfMs

The Legacy Collection
Book 1: Maid for the Billionaire (FREE on Amazon!)
Book 2: For Love or Legacy
Book 3: Bedding the Billionaire
Book 4: Saving the Sheikh
Book 5: Rise of the Billionaire
Book 6: Breaching the Billionaire: Alethea's Redemption
Book 7: (Novella) A Corisi Christmas

The Andrades:
Book 1: Come Away With Me (FREE on Amazon)
Book 2: Home to Me
Book 3: Maximum Risk
Book 4: Somewhere Along the Way
Book 5: Loving Gigi
Christmas Novella: A Recipe for Love (Maddy and Richard)

The Barrington Billionaires:
Book 1: Always Mine
Book 2: Stolen Kisses
Book 3: Trade It All
Book 3.5: A Billionaire for Lexi
Book 4: Let It Burn
Book 5: More than Love
Book 6: Forever Now
Book 7: Never Goodbye
Book 8: Reluctantly Alpha
Book 9: Reluctantly Rescued
Book 10: Reluctantly Romanced
Book 11: Loving a Landon
Book 12: Loathing a Landon


For a more complete list visit her website at www.ruthcardello.com

Reviews

[Emily Salls · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was FOR FUN, don’t worry about my mental health

[Lilyya ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

well, i guess im into fork erotica..

(big br with ma girls)

[mica · Rating 3 out of 5]

chicas esto es increíble el libro tiene plot Y ESTA BUENO

[Stitching Ghost · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a couple of scenes in there that had me going "this is stupid" and it wasn't the fork action scenes, I'm not a "lighthearted" reader so you should probably take that with a grain of salt.

[Karie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too much attempt at plot and not enough forking. I came for trash and I was not rewarded.

[rae ✿]

unforktunately i've read it🍴

[Leo · Rating 4 out of 5]

In one hand I enjoyed it, it was a fun premise with a few funny scenes and interesting relationship. But I had wished for more Fork action. It wasn't as much sentient fork moments as I wanted. Much more in human form but there where some of sentient forking to which was entertaining. I will definitely continue with the series as the plot and mystery was very intruiging. But not enough weirdness for me

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Firstly if you decide to read this book, try to keep an open mind. This is not the usual Ruth Cardello’s story, but a very unusual and hilarious story. I personally recognized myself in Mercedes. A heroine who is a little awkward and shy, whose mission is to change her lifestyle. Hugh is a very gorgeous and charming “fork” of a man. I loved their story and their unique encounter. I can absolutely guarantee that this book will leave the reader speechless and promptly ready for the second book.

[Livy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was forking ridiculous.

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 3 out of 5]

Girl what ?


CW: explicit sexual content, human experimentation, references to violence/murder/war

[Milo (if lost, return to hot fictional character) · Rating 4 out of 5]

GUYS, if you want some captain america super soldier government secret agent world war 2 vibes from the cutlery you’ll be reading about, LOOK NO FURTHER!

not only are you getting a hunk of a man (who’s also a fork), you’ll also get a really well written plot that i need to know more about because wtf.

can’t wait to read spooned, Jack’s story.


guys i wish i were joking but i’m not. if you want smth fast and amusing, pick up this book. i had a forking good time (get it)

thank u to my friends here on gr who i buddy read this with (they know who they are)
can’t wait for spooned!


———————————



lets gooooo

big buddy read with my besties😭✋🏼

[Lia Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unhinged Book Madness - Day 4

Okay but why did I like this book?? It was definitely super tame as far as a sentient romance goes, but I enjoyed the story! I honestly want to read more and figure out what happened. Loved the WW2/ Captain America MMC and the awkward FMC.

Rating
- Unhingedness: 2
- Story Structure: 7
- Spice Level: 3
- Would I recommend: Yes

[sammie · Rating 1 out of 5]

she didn't even actually fuck the fork, all i got was military propaganda and wrong history

[pat · Rating 1 out of 5]

i can excuse her fucking captain america in a fork form (which she didn’t), but i draw the line at military propaganda and praise for AI

[Becky (romantic_pursuing_feels) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Note: Some of my goodreads shelves can be spoilers

Overall: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Readability: 📖📖📖 (I liked the second half a lot more but by 50% I wanted to set it down)
Feels: 🦋🦋
Emotional Depth: 💔💔💔
Sexual Tension: ⚡⚡⚡
Romance: 💞💞💞
Sensuality: 💋💋💋💋
Sex Scene Length: 🍑🍑🍑
Steam Scale (Number of Sex Scenes): 🔥
Humor: Yes, a bit corny
Perspective: first person from both the hero and heroine
More character focused or plot focused? character
How did the speed of the story feel? medium
When mains are first on page together: about 9% for human form
Cliffhanger: The plot, yes – the hero is still a fork and the mystery isn’t solved but is implied it continues in the next book. But the relationship is a happy for now.
Epilogue: Not really – the last chapter is a bit of a wrap up a few weeks later though
Format: read through Kindle Unlimited
(Descriptions found at end of my review)

Should I read in order?
This is book 1 of this series, might be best in order to give background.

Basic plot:
Mercedes finds herself very attached to a certain fork in her antique silverware set

Give this a try if you want:
- contemporary sentient romance
- Rhode Island setting (with WWII flashbacks)
- fork shifting hero / human heroine
- you’re okay with the mystery of fork shifting not being solved by the end of the book (it will be a series)
- lower steam – 1 full scene plus some kisses/implied scenes

Ages:
- hero is 25, heroine is 24

First line:
Today is the day.

My thoughts:
I know, I know – it’s a fork romance so did I really expect much?? Well, sadly I was hoping I would love this more! I have plenty of sentient romance under my belt now and some I have really, REALLY loved. This one just didn’t do it for me.

I think parts of it were that I just got a bit bored. We were getting flashbacks and backgrounds of the hero, but nothing is solved by the end of the book and that was a bummer to me. There were separations of the characters and I just wanted them together more and more romance. I was excited about a from the past hero, but something about him just felt really modern. He adjusted really well to modern world and maybe it’s because he has already aligned himself with the supernatural with being a super soldier...but being a fork and being in modern times just didn’t seem to phase him at all haha.

I loved some of steam here – the things he said, and the thoughts he said were definitely my jam – but it overall just felt really light here. The one scene you get is really great and thorough….

I didn’t hate it but I wanted to love it more!

Few random reading stats for this author
# of books read: 1
Average rating: 3 stars
Favorite book: This is my only book by her so far, so this one!

Quotes/thoughts: (Any mistakes are my own)


He looms over me and takes one of my hands in his. I’m both terrified and more than a little turned on. “I know your hand.” He runs a thumb across my bottom lip. “I know your mouth. The taste of you. The feel of you. I crave it. Why?”
---
“Yesterday, did you lick the entire length of the fork?”
“No,” I deny automatically even though a memory of doing exactly that comes back to me.
He buries a hand in my hair, pulls me closer, and tips my head back, so I’m forced to meet his gaze. “Don’t lie to me.”



Content warnings: (This should be taken as a minimum because I could have missed some!)

- remembrance of war scenes and death
- experimentation, torture and death
- hero is trapped as a fork...
Author given content warnings: This novella is about a World War II super soldier, trapped inside a fork, who can only take human form again by being intimate with a woman. It also contains some violence.



Locations of kisses/intimate scenes:

Safe sex: No? No condoms or birth control discussed that I remember, but pregnancy risk is minimal since he only finishes with a bj in this book
Hows the consent? first kiss is questionable (she ‘attempts to move away, but he holds her in place’ ) but overall it's decent
16% - kiss
81% - heroine self pleasure with the fork, then him in human form, her on top, sex against a wall, then bj for him


Extra stuff like what my review breakdowns mean, where to find me, and book clubs


Full break down on what my ratings above mean here:
Overall: How I felt about it everything considered!
Readability: How ‘readable’ was the book? Did I fly through it? Did I have to tell myself to pick it back up repeatedly? Were any passages confusing? (I will probably score like (1) is literally unreadable due to formatting/typing errors, etc (2) There were lots of errors that made it difficult to read OR It was extremely confusing and I had to reread passages to make sense of it OR I disliked it so much I had to bribe myself to keep reading (3) I didn’t really want to keep reading and would have preferred to abandon the read and start something else OR some minor continuity issues/confusion (4) I liked it fine, maybe a minor error or 2. I was happy to pick it up when I had time. (5) I never wanted to put this down. I thought about it when I wasn’t reading it. I hid in the bathroom from my kids to read. I threw inappropriate food at my children for dinner so I could read instead.)
Feels: Totally subjective to each person but did the book give me any tingles? Any butterflies? Did it rip my heart out (in a good way?)
Emotional depth: How well do I feel I know the characters at the end? How much did I feel their emotions throughout the story?
Sexual tension: Again, subjective, but how strong was the wanting and longing to me between the characters? A book might have strong sexual tension without a single touch.
Romance: Was there romance? Did romantic things happen? This can be actions/words/thoughts of the characters and again is subjective.
Sensuality: This is how the intimate scenes are written. Kisses and sexual scenes – how sensual were they? Were they on the mechanical side? Was there emotional pull tied in? Were the details explicit or flowery? These are subjective but generally (1) too short to get a good judgement (2) not all what I'm looking for - very vague or flowery prose (3) either not explicit enough or not enough emotional pull (too mechanical/physically descriptive without the emotions) (4) what I love in a scene (5) absolute perfection - perfect balance of emotional longing and explicit descriptions
Sex Scene Length: How long the bedroom scenes are (generally (1) is 1-3 sentences (2) is a few paragraphs to a page-ish (3) is about average, a few pages (4) more well developed scenes, quite a few pages with descriptions (4) the majority of the book takes place in the bedroom. This is always hard to tell for me on audio!
Steam Scale: Generally, each flame is a scene. If scenes are super close together I sometimes combine them. If a scene is super short or so vague I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t count it. There’s some levels of grey but generally the number of flames is how many sex scenes there are (I max out at 5 so I’ll put a + after if there’s more than that)



Find me
Instagram || The Storygraph || Bookbub

Book Clubs
The Ton and the Tartans (Historical Romance)
Upturned Petticoats and Undone Cravats (Historical Romance with Steam Requirements)
A Love Less Ordinary (Science Fiction, Paranormal, Monster, Fantasy Romance)
Modern Manuscripts (Contemporary Romance)
Words for the Wicked (Contemporary Romance with Steam Requirements)
Vintage Romance (Old School Romance – published 2000 and prior)

[Gohnar23 · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 star for shockedd 🫥🫥🫥

I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOME BASIC, NO DEPTH, JUST PURE EROTICA ABOUT HER ugh 'forking' a fork (honestly the 'fork'joke was funny the first time but the book just repeats the same joke all over and over again so it gets kinda annoying)

This niche point idea was Reaally good and has pure potential but it got wasted and just used as a starter for some bland erotica.. (was expecting more u know plot?? Since the book really made me shock when it the time pov went from 2024 to like WW2????)

Lower points for the book being progressively getting more boring and more boring each next chapter. (And more fork jokes)


Fork🍴

[Urtė Caspo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nu gal visai ir nieko 👍. Mergina turi šakutę, kuri – kario iš Antrojo pasaulinio reinkarnacija. Tiesa, taip ir nesužinojau, kodėl jis tapo šakute, bet užtikrinu, kad su ja buvo pasigvaltavota.

[Catalina · Rating 1 out of 5]

IM PEEING THIS IS THE WORST SHIT IVE EVER DONE TO MYSELF😭 absolutely hated it but I had to prove jeff wrong.

[Izzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a fork that is captain america basically.
very funny very silly

[Davia Peresolak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rounded up from 3.5 stars. I’m not sure what I just read or why I want to keep going…but here we are.

[Laura Gunyon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very silly

[Naemin · Rating 1 out of 5]

JAJAJAJAJJA

Una porquería de libro, 0,5 estrellas.

Si hubiese seguido la línea de lo que me esperaba, pues igual hasta le hubiese puesto una estrella enterita.

A ver. La trama aquí se queda en un quiero y no puedo. La autora ha intentado crear una trama de la segunda guerra mundial que no le ha salido, más que nada porque se ha olvidado como a mitad del libro de continuar con la otra línea temporal que había presentado.

Vale, se supone que tenemos a nuestra protagonista, Mercedes, que es una chica que no está muy mentalmente estable que digamos y que no lleva demasiado bien las interacciones sociales humanas. Con lo único con lo que mantiene conversaciones es con su gato, porque prácticamente no sale de casa (teletrabaja). Y la única vez que se anima a hablarle a un hombre porque ha decidido por arte de magia dejar de ser virgen, lo único que se le ocurre es mentirle.

Entonces, por cuestiones de la trama, ella se encuentra casualmente en su casa, lamiendo su tenedor favorito de forma sensual (porque es algo que hacemos todas) y este empieza a vibrar como su fuese un teléfono con la alarma.

Ahí aparece un tío que dice ser un soldado americano de la Segunda Guerra Mundial y que le pide ayuda para salvar al resto de su escuadrón.

Hasta aquí todo bien.

Bueno, pues ese hombre es imbécil. A parte de ser un hombre blanco, heterosexual, hegemónico, militar y americano, es gilipollas. Y como tal, se comporta como si fuera un puberto de 14 años que se dedica a hacer berrinches por la vida.

Entonces, cuando ya iba por un 60% del libro y no estaba viendo ningún tipo de romance con ningún tenedor, tal y como prometía la portada, uno de esos berrinches de celos hacen que se vuelva a convertir en tenedor. (hasta este momento, no se han liado, porque él estaba todo el rato recordándole a ella que la podía matar con su enorme pinga)

Unos meses después, la tía se pone horny en su salón y se da autoamor con ese tenedor que empieza a vibrar de repente, y la escena termina con él volviendo a ser humano.

Yo tengo una pregunta aquí: ¿Por qué razón decide la autora hacerme 2 povs, la mayoría de los de él ocurridos en 1942, para que a mitad del libro, NO ME DIGAN NADA DE LO QUE HA PASADO PORQUE YA NO IMPORTA Y AHORA LO MÁS IMPORTANTE ES LO LARGA QUE LA TIENE???????

Bueno, al menos, el libro ha cumplido con lo que ha prometido, pero no de la forma en la que lo esperaba. Muy mal.

Ahora, si quiero saber por qué razón el gobierno estadounidense haría un plan secreto para convertir a 14 soldados en cubertería vintage, tengo que leerme los otros dos de la saga.

PD: UN SOLO CHISTE MÁS CON FORKED Y ME PEGO UN TIRO. GRACIAS.

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know what? It’s not even the strangest book I’ve ever read and the writing was actually kinda alright…

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars literally for the forking smut

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Я потрапила на темну сторону гудрідсу

[Meagan Grauel · Rating 3 out of 5]

In a weird mix of historical fiction (in the loosest sense of the term) and smut, this book manages to be a more complex and touching story than I was anticipating. In addition to some weird fork focused imagery, the author manages to create a captivating storyline that I was shockingly interested in. I was expecting to like this story as much as I did, but I am pleasantly surprised. If you can get over the fact that the FMC rubs one out (often) with her fork to get the MMC to come to life, it's not a bad book to read.

This book takes place in a post Covid world (2024), where the FMC, Mercedes, is doing her best to reconnect with the world and put herself out there. After an attempt at flirting with a neighbor in a bid to try and lose her virginity goes poorly, Mercedes goes back to her apartment to sulk and have dinner using her favorite fork. She got this fork at an estate sale as part of a set and are made of sterling silver. There is a long description of how this fork feels in her mouth and how much she enjoys it. Then, at some point, she licks the fork from bottom to top and it starts to vibrate. Who hasn't licked their fork because they're lowkey attracted to it? Jk .. it's weird.
Anywho ... the lick to the fork causes it to start vibrating and fall onto the floor. When she bends down to look for it, she hits her head on the table, but can't find the fork. However, what she does find is that there is now a man in her apartment, dressed in an old timey military uniform. She, rightfully so, believes that she's hallucinated this person into existence after hitting her head, but decides to just go with it.
The book then switches to the MMC's (Hugh) POV and we find out that during WWII (this is where the loose historical fiction part comes into play), he was part of a secret military organization, who were charged with stopping the atomic bomb from ever being built by kidnapping the nation's smartest minds. As it turns out, this secret military organization was up to some Captain America type shit and they took volunteers and essentially turned them into super soldiers. They have the capability to camouflage with their surroundings, stretch body parts at will, heal from any wound - some of which are nearly fatal, regrow limbs, have super strength, and super speed. He is from a group of about 11 men, and the last thing he remembers is going to a dinner at the end of WWII to celebrate their accomplishments. During that dinner, they all realized that they had been left alone all of a sudden and then everything turned to black.
However, Hugh is aware that he has been Mercedes' fork because he was unaware until he was. And what he remembers are a lot of "being inside" of Mercedes and her mouth. There is a long description of that as well. Apparently, this licking of his fork form has triggered him to become human again. And he is beyond attracted to her when he takes his human form again.
At this point, it being smut and all, you would assume that they jump each other's bones, and it's definitely what Mercedes wants. But, he's afraid of hurting her, and is lowkey hurt that Mercedes is willing to lose her virginity to what she thinks is a figment of her imagination. So he implores that she help him find his unit and what happened to them over 80 years ago and he'll help her socialize with the guy upstairs and get a date.
Mercedes agrees to help Hugh, who she's still convinced isn't real and at some point she'll either be committed or wake up from whatever hallucination she's currently having. She takes him shopping to buy some clothes to fit into this era, and they bond over their shopping trip with one another and they both realize that they're falling for the other. During this shopping trip, someone comments about Hugh and his outfit, so Mercedes is convinced that he's a real person, but isn't convinced of his story about being from the past and that he can transform into a fork. They do some research online and at the local library, but can't find any information regarding Project Inkwell.
When they get home from their shopping excursion, Hugh helps steal some of Greg's mail (the upstairs neighbor that Mercedes was trying to lose her virginity to) which helps Mercedes tell Greg that she's single when he comes to retrieve the mail. This leads to a whole lot of jealousy from Hugh, who didn't realize how deep his feelings for Mercedes went in such a short amount of time. Because he believes that Mercedes is more into Greg and he's insanely jealous, he leaves the apartment to better understand what he's feeling.
While out and about, Hugh manages to get himself involved in a fight ring where he makes himself a ton of money in a short amount of time - this was a hang up of his about being able to be with Mercedes, since he doesn't have any money to his name and he was relying on her to pay for things. He also does a lot of soul searching during this time, and finds that he doesn't like the type of person he became while doing his secret missions for the military. He did a lot of sketchy things without questioning it, and feels like he was losing a part of himself. After a lot of woe is me, he decides to head back to the apartment.
While he's out, and Mercedes is at home waiting for him, she decides that Greg just doesn't do it for her anymore after he stops by the apartment to bring Mercedes flowers to thank her for returning his mail. She lets him down gently, since she's decided that Hugh is who she wants to be with. After deciding that it's actually Hugh she wants to lose her virginity to, she leaves the apartment in a rush to go and get the necessary "supplies" to have sex with a fork man. Hugh and Mercedes just miss one another and he comes back, only to find the flowers from Greg and jumps to conclusions that she doesn't want him and left the apartment to go and sleep with Greg. He becomes so depressed about this notion, that he transforms back into a fork, and Mercedes cat kicks him under the fridge. Mercedes returns to the apartment, but they've missed one another again, and doesn't see the fork under the fridge.

The book jumps to several months from that, where the reader sees that Mercedes, despite missing Hugh, is living her best life. She has friends now (one of whom is Greg - despite being rejected, they were able to be friends), goes jogging, and is doing well at work. But while feeling better overall about her life, she does miss Hugh and wishes they could be a part of a team.
In a bit of luck when her jogging partner is over, she finds her favorite missing fork under the fridge. And while Mercedes still doesn't believe that Hugh is the fork, she's glad to have her fork back, and even holds it while going on her jog that day. Which her friend doesn't judge her for. She is a better friend than I would have been in that situation.
Later that afternoon, while eating her salad for lunch, the fork starts vibrating again. While having a fantasy about Hugh, she uses said vibrating fork to rub one out and BAM! Hugh is back again and they immediately get freaky in a multi chapter sex scene. Weird - she can't find her fork again. Still doesn't believe he's the fork, even though he appeared between her legs right where the fork had been. Mercedes is able to explain what actually happened while he was out at the fight ring and that she had actually wanted to lose her virginity to him and be with him.
After they do the deed, Hugh tells Mercedes that if he ever becomes a fork again, all she has to do is be intimate with him and he'll transform back into himself. Mercedes, still a skeptic, tells him she doesn't care if he's batshit, she'll be with him anyways. So, Hugh pops back into being a fork in front of her so she finally believes what has been happening. After seeing it happen for herself, Mercedes is a believer, and is down with continuing to masterbate with the fork to make Hugh come back.

The rest of the story is a cute synopsis of Mercedes and Hugh as a couple and how they utilize Hugh's super soldier capabilities for all things sex related. As a couple, they are striving to make sure the other one knows how important the other one is. The two of them are still working on finding out what happened to all those involved in Project Inkwell, and Mercedes has now been convinced that the set of silverware she purchased at the estate sale contains Hugh's fellow soldiers. Not being willing to masterbate with all the silverware in the set to being them back to life, they set out to find a way another way to make it happen. This ends up being a clear segue into the next book, Spooned, and I honestly can't wait to read that book when it comes out.

So, this was a weird concept. But I didn't think it was as weird as I initially assumed it was going to be. As far as off the rails smut goes, this wasn't too bad, and I will be reading the next in the series, so that probably says a lot more about me than it does about the content of the story. Read on and stay weird!

[Brecht Denijs · Rating 3 out of 5]

So some of you might be wondering if I have gone completely bonkers and the answer is, yes I have, but that is entirely unrelated to me reading this book.

I'm going through a very unpleasant and painful time in my life (for the second time) and I just really liked the idea of reading something short, sweet, spicy and above all, very silly. When I read the blurb that said that the author had written this in a time of grief with the exact intent of writing something silly, I was sold. That and some booktok "can you believe this existst?!" content.

The irony is that the weird parts didn't bother me at all, in fact I thought they were kinda tame. With the warning of do not try this at home, I was expecting something a lot more daring, I remember ex-girlfriends admitting to far worse with hairbrushes in their teens than what I read in here, which was little more than "if a vibrator was fork-shaped". She didn't even use the risky end. Personally, I feel if you're going to go silly, go all out.

Speaking of, the origin story was a bit of a choice. If I were writing a novella about a man being turned into a fork, I'd probably go with a witch's curse or a deal with the fae rather than super secret WWII government program. The idea of the US Goverment turning their supersoldiers into cutlery and then losing sight of said silverware still has me scratching my head with the how and the why. But who knows, maybe she'll be able to make it all make sense in the end of the series.

But none of the above turned me off, it was ironically, very simply the male main character Hugh. Mr. Forkman is from the 1940s and has a very big "when men were still men" energy about him that I didn't much care for, nor for his questionable ideas about consent either. The novella doesn't actually go into full non con territory, but flirts heavier with it than I'm comfortable with. Indeed I felt it low key mocked modern ideas about consent and that just doesn't float my boat at all. I thought Hugh was kind of an ass and sometimes I wish he'd just fork off already. (yes, I went there, if Cardello can do it a hundred times in as many pages, I'm allowed one). They say that the men's personalities are reflected into the cutlery they turn into, so that should mean I will like Spooned best, but I'm more than a little worried about Knifed.

In short it was a fun enough novella but I would have preferred a bit more fun and sexy silliness and for Forkman to be a little less prickly and well less of a prick in general.

[Ангелина]

Ще го напиша на български, само защото съм по-забавна на този език.
Да започнем с очевидното - ДА, това е романтично-еротичната история на една жена и една вилица.
Кажете ми честно, че моментално не се запитахте "Ама КАК?!". (Ако не сте, къш, не можем да сме приятели).
Аз успях някак да устоя на романтично-еротичната история на една жена и една врата, обаче тука вече скъсах синджира.
И така, започнах ли книгата с големи очаквания?
Започнах я!
Чаках ли тайничко да бъда шокирана и засрамено заинтригувана от секси сцените?
А не, бе!
Сбъдна ли книгата всички тия мои въжделения?!
?!
?!
?!
НЕ, не ги.
Честно, на ръба съм да я подхвана лично тая идея, да я рециклирам и да я напиша както трябва. "Разочарована съм" е меко казано. Ни веднъж не се хванах за перлите! Тъй че ако искате "ШОК!!! БОНБА!!!" търсете ги другаде.
Тук ще намерите само прибързана, зле разказана история тип "Капитан Америка" и една клета 24-годишна девица, която има навика от време на време да облизва любимата си сребърна вилица. Вилицата пък я награждава като започва да вибрира в ръката й. Има една-единствена секси сцена с жена и вилица и тя не струва и пет пари. Повече се притеснявах как ще я дезинфекцира достатъчно добре тая вилица за следващото си ядене.
Толкова от мен и моя мерак да бъда шокирана отвъд представите си.
Не я четете, само ще се разочаровате. Може би "Аделайн" е по-добрия вариант.

[Caliope Elaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟 well fork… that was an entertaining read 😂

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Think: What if Captain America got turned into cutlery instead of being frozen in the Arctic. This was quick and fun. 2.5 stars rounded up.