Bonesaw Vic's Cryptozoological Gardens: Volume One

by T.W. Grim

“What the heck is a cryptid?” you ask? Well, the simplified answer is, “Cryptids are mythological creatures that may or may not exist, and Cryptozoology is the study of these (probably not real) creatures."

Well, for the sake of argument, let's say these mythical creatures are actually real. What if some ruthless (and totally legitimate) businessman somehow managed to acquire a number of these cryptids for the purpose of putting them on display? For a very large admittance fee, of course. A fee so large, only the wealthiest people would ever know about it.

A zoo, in other words. A top-secret zoo for the elite.

And what if this zoo for cryptids had a job opening?

Bonesaw Vic’s Cryptozoological Gardens is an off-the-wall journey into a world of supernatural beings and organized crime. It’s also a tale about growing up and finding yourself. Inside these pages, you’ll join our unwitting protagonist as he encounters stoic ex-mercenaries, dangerous gangsters, and a boat-load of mythical monsters with a lot of personality. It’s funny, it’s horrific, it’s dramatic, it’s a bit stupid, it’s a lot of things! Above all, Bonesaw Vic’s Cryptozoological Gardens is a one-of-kind experience.

Genres: Horror, Audiobook

267 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 15, 2024

About the author

T.W. Grim is a horror novelist from Southwestern Ontario. He is the author of 99 Brief Scenes From the End of the World, Tripping Over Twilight, When the Stars Fall and The Promises We Make in December.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/T.W.Grim_Author
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TWGrim_Official
IG: @t.w.grim
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/twgrim

Reviews

[Scott Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really liked this book, actually. The problem I have with it is that it just kinda... stops. This isn't really a complete novel (or novella, even). It's more like an intro to a series that isn't finished. The plot starts ramping up, and then... the book ends with a weird vignette that's unrelated to the original plot (and is, itself, unfinished).

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I enjoyed the beginning with the introductions of the exhibits. There wasn't a lot of time wasted before exploring the zoo. Each creature had its own habitat that helped build its character. Unfortunately, that's where it felt like it stopped for most of tjem. Afterwards, reading it felt like watching a show where each episode has its own plot and you're looking for the over arching story.

Also, I really didn't like how hypocritical the main character, Billy White Bread, was. Instead of wanting to root for him, I was left incredibly frustrated with him. One minute he'll do the thing he was just told not to do, only to later yell at another character for doing said thing. Afterwards, he does it again! The main character also defines himself as "awkward" yet manages to get the last word/ win every argument he is a part of and always manages to save the day.

I did appreciate how well the book handled mental issues like depression. The fast pacing, combined with some of the plot choices (deal with the succubus felt unnecessary), and little to lack of development of side characters didn't make this a very enjoyable read for my preferences. That being said, I could see how this could be someone's cup of tea! if you like funny / horror with a 90s grunge feel and a hero who is desired by all the women (be they human or not), you might like this one!

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to expect when I started listening to this book but it drew me in and I found myself cheering for Bonesaw Vic's newest employee. The author penned a story about supernatural beings and the zoo that only the richest in society can afford to visit. There was colorful language and threats of bodily harm. Following along with Billy Whitebread as he made sense of the tasks he was responsible for each shift, I felt like I was in the drama as it unfolded. This is the first book in the series and there was a preview of another story at the end of this one.
The narrator did a professional job with all the characters' voices and he captured the suspense and emotions felt by the characters. A terrific team of writer and narrator. A fun, silly at times and entertaining read on audible.

[Skylar Zuiden · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bonesaw Vic’s Cryptozoological Gardens — 2/5

Bonesaw Vic’s Cryptozoological Gardens masterfully walks the line between “bland” and “just intriguing enough to keep me reading.” I wasn’t exactly bored at any point in the book, which I would argue is the worst sin any piece of literary fiction can commit. And I did care just enough to come back for the next chapter, but that’s really all the story has going for it.

For being a story about a zookeeper, it scarcely felt like we were in a zoo. No cryptid was explored in any new or intriguing manner, and the care needs of each one were not varied at all. Going into this, I was hoping to see a lot of unique details about what these creatures need to remain healthy, what sort of climates need to be maintained, and so on. But I would have gotten more out of a Petco betta fish care guide.

But let’s say the story was not intending to focus on the setting. Let’s say it was supposed to be character-driven. The main character, Billy Whitebread, was remarkably devoid of personality. We know nothing about his past aside from a throwaway comment about him being a convict. We get no feel for his personality, his desires—aside from a very passive need for money—or his quirks. His personality shifts to suit the narrative. He is either claiming not to be a “hard-ass” and sniveling, or having his little “Billy Badass” main-character moments.

The book ended in a rather abrupt fashion as well. We almost had a solid ending, but then some strange subplot about a corrupt cop propositioning him to be a third in his relationship happens right at the end. After that is resolved by Billy simply running away—making the whole thing feel like a strange waste of time—he heads over to his friend’s place to stop him from killing himself. Again, why the hell did you pause the story so he could go fuck a cop’s wife, then bail anyway, if he was actively trying to get to his friend’s place to prevent him from painting the wall with his brain?

After this nice moment where he talks to his buddy and then cleans his apartment for him, he heads outside and has what I would argue is the greatest break from his established character, with no real buildup. He runs into these grim reaper entities and gets chased around for a bit before taking a huge axe—it has already been established that this guy is both a skinny wimp and someone who has never taken a life before—and chopping this thing up with it. Do you have any idea how heavy that axe would be? Billy Whitebread, as we know him up to this point, should not be able to lift that above his head. It is even specifically described as “huge” and “oversized.” And while you can make the argument that adrenaline plays a factor, Billy Whitebread is Mister “I could never kill someone. I could never take a life.” For God’s sake, the whole book up to this point was one huge convoluted song and dance about him making a deal with a succubus to avoid killing someone. But then he just chops this thing up like it is nothing.

Anyhow, after this, he gets back to the zoo, shits his pants trying to explain to his gangster boss why his car was left in the parking lot, and then gets let off with some lame excuse about being in love with the water nymph, Miss Dahlia. Again, this is a huge character break for Bonesaw Vic, because this guy has been well established as paranoid and, quote, “having the gift of insight. He can smell your intentions like a bloodhound.” what do you mean he didn’t kill Billy on the spot after seeing all of last night’s camera footage mysteriously gone and Billy’s car left in the parking lot? The fuck?

We’ve been building this guy up to be super threatening and paranoid the whole book. How the hell did Billy not get slimed out on the spot for this?

Then the book just ends. It truly felt like a very abrupt close. I understand that it is supposed to be setting up sequels, but it still felt abrupt.

-1 star for not being anything special.
-1 star for that cringey and inconsistent character that is Billy Whitebread.
-1 star for that strangely unpolished ending.

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn’t hate it; honestly, one of the better cryptid books I’ve read.

TL; DR: Part gangster story, part paranormal thriller, but all a bit of a stoner comedy, Bonesaw Vic brings some laughs, some confusion, and a tentative hero into a new adventure of cryptic proportions.

It wasn’t great, it wasn’t terrible, but I had fun reading it. The cryptids were well done and I didn’t hate any of the character portrayals, it just felt like there was always something missing.

Characters: Everyone was decent; I liked Vic’s portrayal and honestly, “Billy” grew on me. Sure he’s your typical stoner hero guy, but it didn’t feel too bad. Motivations were understandable and I couldn’t find tom much fault. I just wish I knew how much each of these characters mattered. I’ve heard a bunch of names thusofar and I’m not sure if they’re ever going to pop up again or just disappear into the background.

Setting: I actually really appreciate how the cryptids have been portrayed. Some aren’t cryptids, sure, but I think that’s probably just me digging at semantics. Some of them are intelligent, some are not, some are beasts, while some are basically human-adjacent. The only issue I’ll have, and I’ve only gotten some inklings of it that sets my blood to a slightly higher temperature, is if it turns out “oh look, everything is super intelligent and feels and acts just like humans.” Then I’ll be disappointed, because it’ll just turn into a “humans bad, other creatures good” story again and I am so TIRED of those.

Story: I understand why I’ve read from a couple of other reviewers saying it’s almost like a collection of moderately related vignettes. Some of the sections are wildly out of left field and feel like someone just throwing stuff at a wall to see what sticks, but I’ll take it every once in a while, just don’t overdo it.

Writing: It’s decent; better than bad for sure. It isn’t going to win any writing awards, but it’s digestible and I didn’t find any major errors that ruined the writing. Like I said, the vignette nature makes it a little difficult to enjoy completely when I went in wanting a novel, but I’m happy with what I got.

I don’t have too many complaints, but it seems like I had more than I thought when I started this review. I’ll have this on a watchlist whenever the next one comes out. It’ll fill that nice little brain-snack niche that lets me enjoy without thinking too hard.

3.4 🌟

[Erin Freeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first began reading, I had a slight inclination this read quite a bit like a Reddit NoSleep (à la How to Survive Camping) or a creepypasta. A little bit of searching online revealed I was correct - it started it’s life as an online series of vignettes that was collected into what is now Bonesaw Vic’s Cryptozoological Garden’s: Vol 1.

It’s a simple premise: It’s 1996. An early 20 something felon (pot, nothing major), our protagonist, applies for a job at a used car dealership. Owner, Victor Bonicelli, calls him personally and tells him he has a position open for him at a zoo as a Caretaker Assistant. Sounds fun. Only when he gets there, he realizes the zoo isn’t your typical zoo. This one houses all manner of creatures: Harry the Sasquatch, Sal the Vampire, Miss Dahlia the Water Nymph, Clara the Jackalope (once a pet of King Arthur), Falling Sky the Skinwalker (probably one of my absolute favorite characters), and a handful of others.

He quickly discovers this isn’t a world you can exit once you enter. The zoo is a secret - only visited by those who have too much money - and his boss is a sociopathic ex-gangster hit man. The other Caretakers, Kaz and Esmeralda, are also ex-soldiers/bounty hunters. In this secret world, there are secrets and also no secrets. Victor will find out *anything* and both Caretakers and zoo prisoners fear him. Billy is tailed, bugged, and pushed to do things he never wanted nor dreamed he ever would do.

As time goes on, Billy quickly realizes these “monsters” are anything but. They’re living beings with feelings. Several are not just sentient, but sapient, and they’re very literally prisoners. They’re give the bare minimum and expected to be happy with it. Billy grows close to several - especially Harry, Sal, and Falling Sky and soon develops a dangerous plan: he wants to take Vic down and release all the creatures from their cages

Ultimately, I really enjoyed the world T.M Grim has built for these characters, and I’m excited to see what the future holds for Billy. As this is a series that began online, it does seem to stop rather abruptly. The writer is releasing bit by bit, but they’re on his Patreon or you can listen on YouTube. The little story at the end - “The Book Man” is available on Kindle Unlimited in full.

[Andreanna Nafie-Wynkoop · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into Bonesaw Vic’s Cryptozoological Gardens by T.W. Grim not really knowing what to expect—and honestly, that’s part of the fun. The premise alone is wild: a secret, high-end zoo filled with cryptids, run with a mix of organized crime energy and dark humor. It’s weird in the best way.The story itself is entertaining and definitely unique. It blends horror, humor, and a coming-of-age feel as the main character navigates this bizarre workplace full of monsters, mercenaries, and questionable management decisions. There were moments that genuinely pulled me in, and others that felt a little chaotic—but that seems to be part of the charm. My biggest hang-up was the ending. It felt abrupt and left a lot unresolved. While it’s clearly setting up more in the series (and even includes a preview of what’s next), it didn’t quite leave me excited enough to immediately continue. More like… “wait, that’s it?”Overall, I’d call this a solid, slightly chaotic listen. It’s creative, easy to get through, and worth it if you enjoy quirky horror with humor—but just be prepared for an ending that might leave you hanging more than satisfied.

[MaryAnne Kansas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bonesaw Vic's Cryptozoological Gardens by TW Grim is, hands down, one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.
The protagonist recounting what was simultaneously their best and worst job ever completely hooked me in. The storytelling style feels personal like someone sitting across from you, unraveling a wild, unbelievable chapter of their life. That voice alone made this book soar to the top of my favorites.
There’s a Townsend-esque vibe to the narration that dry, sharp, slightly chaotic energy but Grim makes it entirely their own. Mythological cryptids and gangsters in the same story? It sounds like a mash-up that shouldn’t work… and yet it absolutely does.
Not only does Grim make the implausible feel plausible, but the writing itself is so tightly woven that I couldn’t put it down. Every chapter pulls you deeper into a world that’s strange, dangerous, and somehow completely believable.
If you love dark humor, cryptids, and storytelling that feels alive and intimate, this one is a must-read.

[Justina Banning · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't have the highest hopes going into this book. The last few book I listened to failed to deliver on their promised tags of horror, fantasy and mystery, but I needed an in-between book while I waited for my next Audible credit to roll around. This was $3, so I figured, what harm could it do.

I was honestly expecting a Steve Irwin style romp into the weird world of crypto zoology, or even worse a Floridian. What i got instead was a delightful diversion into the seedy underworld of gangsters and mercenaries with a sprinkling of the fantasy creatures as the garnish. I was not expecting to adore every single character- even though I really shouldn't. They felt real to me and that kept me in the story- to the point that I wanted my hour long commute to be longer so I could learn what happens next.

I really hope there is more. The rest of T W Grim's books are already on my wishlist, but would hate ot if the story ends there.

On to the Side Quests.

[Melissa Hanono · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book! It’s labeled as horror but it’s not scary. Think more along the lines of dark fantasy. The characters are great, the cryptids are interesting and the caretakers - Billy Whitebread and Kas (sp?- I listened to the audiobook) were going through it. I can’t wait for Volume Two because I am really interested to continue on with this journey. I’ve never read anything by T.W. Grimm, but I certainly will in the future!

[Bex S · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was hooked until I realized I didn’t have much book left to read, and had LOTS of open ended plot lines. The book kind of abruptly ends, but I’m hopeful there’s more to come to round those out since I was so invested. Multiple times after finishing the book, I felt like I needed to pick it up again as if there was more story to read.

[Clint Edmunds · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was fun. Love the premise and the dynamics of all the characters that are here. It is sufficiently intriguing to build a whole world around this. Main character can be a bit annoying at times tbh but overall I found this book to be a great time.

I haven’t seen anything about another book at this point so it kinda leaves you high and dry unfortunately!

[Kristy Rae Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not going to be for everyone, but I really liked it. It's unhinged, has great characters, and several WTF moments. I hope the next one comes out soon since this left a lot of things unresolved.

[CKupRoyale · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled onto this fun little read! If you're a fan of cryptids of all kinds, and organized crime this is a great read! Its also available in audiobook form. It is a shorter read but I am hopeful it will be the start a of great horror/organized crime series with comedic elements.

[Cheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was awesome but than you are just getting into it and you have to wait for the next book. I am almost done with the side quest of the book man but I think it would have been better if it kept going in one. I have lost momentum with the story.

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bone saw Vice Zoological Gardens

This was a really fun read, perfect for a weekend. More comedy than horror, and an interesting plot. Cliffhanger ending

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very fun yet incomplete book.

Finished it up today and was hoping for some kind of ending because this book was great. Hopefully there are more in the future.

[Emmitt McFather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this book. I picked it up for the fun concept and stayed for the jokes and crazy adventures.