Hugs Are (Not) for Everybody

by Ella Russell, Udayana Lugo (illustrator)

An upbeat ode to setting and respecting personal boundaries.

It’s time for a birthday party! On this happy occasion, a friend arrives with hugs for everybody: in greeting, as a way to celebrate perfectly pinning the tail on the donkey and cracking open the piñata, and of course to wish a happy birthday.

But not everybody wants a hug―and that’s okay! One child prefers to wave hello, and one likes to celebrate with high fives. One even suggests a silly, super-secret handshake that ends with a surprise magic trick. But wait! Are magic tricks for everybody? It turns out, they aren’t for the bunny, who prefers not to disappear. An even sweeter ending? Delicious birthday cake for everyone to enjoy.

The delightful cast of characters from Pink Is for Everybody comes together again in this affirming story about setting and respecting body boundaries. This book cheerfully imparts that there are lots of ways, hugs and otherwise, to say hello, hooray, and happy birthday!

Genres: Picture Books, Friendship, Childrens, Kids

24 pages, Hardcover

Published March 18, 2025

Reviews

[Viviane Elbee]

In this book, a character goes to a birthday party assuming hugs are for everybody but ends up learning that hugs aren’t for everyone

[Stephanie Bange · Rating 4 out of 5]

Add this to your SEL collection in the classroom or library.

When a young girl arrives at a friend's magical birthday party, she greets everyone with a hug - until she notices some of the girls would rather high-five, disappear, or create a secret handshake. They seal the deal with birthday cake and games in the park.

Russell's story is upbeat, simple, and straightforward, with no judgement by anyone. Close readers will note that a little grey rabbit (that ostensibly came to the party with the magician) hopping in the illustrations and gets a small part in the plot of the story line. Digital (?) illustrations by Udayana Lugo are bright and colorful - very full of action and life. All the girls in the story have personalities of their own, with positive vibes.

This gentle reminder to ask before you hug someone is not new or novel, however this one has a charm about it and will go over well with girls as they will see themselves in this diverse mix of friends.

Recommended for use with PreSchool-grade 2.

[Ellon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars (I liked it)

I so appreciate the message here, especially as someone who doesn't love hugging, I just didn't love the delivery. I honestly think it's because I like the book Don't Hug Doug so much that Hugs Are (Not) for Everybody didn't live up to it's amazingness.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an electronic ARC from Owlkids through Edelweiss+.
Russell shares a gentle reminder that not everyone wants to be hugged or touched. Readers see the story begin with the idea that everyone wants a hug as they celebrate a birthday together. I appreciate the young girl speaking up for herself as she shares she prefers something different. From here, the story unfolds by showing various ways to greet each other and be sensitive to everyone's needs. The illustrations support the text and capture the characters' mannerisms and emotions.

[Mrs.MakesReadingFun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story to explore the concept of consent with young readers.
How we express our joy, love, and other feelings is different for everyone- and what everyone is comfortable with, is also very different.

This book- through the fun at a birthday party- talks about these concepts in a fun, kid-friendly, approachable way. Reminding us that "hugs aren't for everybody" and that we can ask first, and show our emotions in other ways (high fives, waves, etc!).

The illustrations are vibrant and colourful, and packed with diverse characters on every page.

[Barbra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some people like hugs to celebrate or say hello. But not everyone likes them. Instead of a hug you might like a high five, or a secret handshake. This picture book reminds readers of how everyone is different, and although you might not like to be embraced, it’s acceptable to communicate that, and celebrate or greet people in whatever way makes you comfortable. Filled with bright cheerful illustrations, this is a wonderful way to open conversations with children of all ages about speaking up, and how it is okay to be yourself.

[Bree Sotirovich · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a non-hugger, this book helps others realize that not everyone wants to come in for a tight squeeze even if the intention is out of love. I do not process sensory the same way as others and it is quite uncomfortable for me to be touched. It is hard to explain to those who do not feel that is normal but there are a ton of us out there feeling as I do!

[Rachel Benzine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cannot overstate how much I love this book. It's a very positive approach to consent for young kids - like, hi, we love hugs except sometimes people don't want them and that's totally fine, there are other ways we can say hello/celebrate/etc - presented in a very matter of fact way. The kids in the book are very diverse without that being the focus of the book. I'm obsessed - 10/10 recommend.

[Patricia N. McLaughlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story explores some of the alternative ways to greet others besides a hug as a reminder that not everybody welcomes or enjoys physical contact. Exuberant illustrations demonstrate that everyone can get their needs met when we are considerate of others, respect boundaries, and use our voices to express our preferences.

[Tiffany S · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who's not a fan of hugs, I will always read a book that gives that gentle reminder to ask or provide alternate ways to greet one another as friends :) I think this book can really help especially with the examples illustrated.

[Ardith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really well done picture book about consent that is written in a fun way that kids will learn from and enjoy reading or having read to them. Lots of wonderful diversity as well.

[Hensley · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I didn't get this book. I am a hugger and I feel like hugs are for everyone. I don't like this book."
Basically what my nephew said about this book.

[Connie T. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't like the pacing in this book. The constant interrupting of the story to demonstrate how some children dislike hugs was off-putting.

[Joana Gonçalves · Rating 5 out of 5]

Muito importante e com uma abordagem engraçada e fácil