How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion

by Yung Pueblo

The #1 New York Times bestselling author of Lighter offers a blueprint for deepening your compassion, kindness, and gratitude so you can truly grow in harmony with another person and build stronger connections in all your relationships.

“A beautiful offering from the heart, to the heart.”—Elizabeth Gilbert

“Yung Pueblo holds a mirror to the relationships we have and offers clear directions to the relationships we desire.”—Simon Sinek

“How to Love Better is destined to change your life.”—Lena Waithe

“Everyone enters relationships with imperfections and negative patterns that block the flow of love, but when you embrace growth, the new harmony within you will flow into your relationship.”

Love enters our lives in many forms: friends, family, intimate partners. But all of these relationships are deeply influenced by the love we have for ourselves. If we see our relationships as opportunities to be fully present in our healing and growth, then, Yung Pueblo assures us, we can transform and meet one another with compassion instead of judgment.

In How to Love Better, Yung Pueblo examines all aspects of relationships, from the rose-colored early days when you may be hesitant to show your full self, to the challenges that can arise without clear communication, to dealing with heartbreak and healing as you close a chapter of your life. The power of looking inward remains at the core of Yung Pueblo’s teachings. Ego and attachment can become barriers in a relationship, so the more self-aware you become, the more you can support both your partner and yourself.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Audiobook, Love, Mental Health

352 pages, Hardcover

Published March 11, 2025

About the author

Diego Perez is a meditator, writer, and speaker who is widely known on Instagram and various social media networks through his pen name Yung Pueblo. The name yung pueblo means “young people.” it serves to remind him of his Ecuadorian roots, his experiences in activism, and that the collective of humanity is in the midst of important growth. his favorite word, liberation, took on a deeper meaning once he started meditating vipassana. through writing and speaking, he aims to support the healing of the individual, realizing that when we release our personal burdens, we contribute to a global peace.



Contact: diego@yungpueblo.com

Instagram: @yung_pueblo

Reviews

[Tia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book become available to me at the perfect time. I recently ended a 2 year relationship with someone I truly loved. It had all the ingredients that felt like were opportunities to make us strong and have a healthy relationship. Sadly, attachment styles/issues broke us. What once looked like love, started looking like who could win what argument. It become a relationship where respect wasn't given as often. I started to feel unsafe when I shared how I felt because I never knew where it would take things. I no longer felt like I was being seen, heard or valued. The trust in the end was just gone. While ending the relationship was indeed the right thing to do, I also ache at times. I am grieving a love I truly wanted while also grieving all that I allowed in between. Thankfully I learned so much in this relationship and will continue to use those lessons to grow, lean in, love myself fully, and turn towards healthy. This book gave me more insight and left me energized to be the best version of myself I can be. I sometimes forget that heartbreak has it's own mind and that while I'm on the floor crying, I can still get back up. I am still worthy of love and belonging. I matter.
I have a long ways to go but novels like this one help remind me I'm not as disconnected as I think. It also does more for my heart and mind than I can explain. I will love and be loved again. It might work out, it might not. No matter what...I will be learning and growing. Always.

**Two of some of my favorite quotes... and there are many:
"Find a partner who makes your nervous system relax so deeply that you feel safe to share your raw truth and be your most genuine self."

"The biggest green flag is when someone who wants to be with you also understands that they need to put energy into learning how to love you well. They know that love is not automatic, instead it comes from deep listening and doing their best to meet your preferences in a way that feels genuine."

**edit because I couldn’t help but want to add this quote after seeing it posted on FB by the author. This book even a month later is still doing so much for my soul.

“If you are wondering who your people are, they are the ones who make your heart feel seen and your nervous system calm.”

[Angela · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok so there are tons of “shoulds” here. But it’s just a long list of what we should be which is kinder and I get that but no practical tips on HOW to accomplish this. Other than take multiple ten day meditation retreats but who can actually do that?!?! I have it 2 stars because it helped me fall asleep at night.

[Laura (thenerdygnomelife) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book to read slowly and contemplatively. After listening to it as an audiobook, I felt inspired to get a print copy so that I can read it more intentionally. Yung Pueblo provides a wealth of advice on building deeper connections in loving romantically and with family, friends, and even your surrounding community — and each piece of advice is best when given room to soak in on its own. 4.5 stars rounded up.

[sara m · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe this book would’ve benefitted me in the past, but this book very much so reflects on the usual stuff everyone knows. Basically- love yourself to love better is a huge message everyone always says. Go to therapy. Move your body. Meditate. This is good advice. All of this is not wrong at all. The only thing is, this isn’t ground breaking information. If you’re truly struggling practicing love, then I’d say you should give this a read more so as a reminder of the guidelines you should already know.

[Chrissann Nickel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve followed the author on Instagram for years and have always enjoyed his snippets of wisdom. This new book has been promoted on many of the podcasts I follow, so I picked it up.

It’s essentially an extension of his teachings that are grounded in the Buddhism principles of mindfulness, non-attachment, loving kindness, compassion, and self-knowledge/self-awareness.

In a nutshell, this book is about how cultivating self love and focusing on your personal growth can help you be an unselfish, empathic partner to another. There is nothing groundbreaking in here-it’s likely all stuff you’ve heard before in one form or another-but it was a positive book to take in and good life principles to be reminded of.

[Michelle Stanley · Rating 1 out of 5]

Were there some snippets of wisdom shared? Yes. However the small amount of wisdom could have been delivered in a much shorter, more concise manner. This book was far too long, way too repetitive, and probably would have done fine as an article. The structure of the book was odd - I don’t get the “poems” randomly thrown in - and the writing was….not good.

[liv ❁ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book falls into the category of “Audiobooks that Don’t Necessarily Give Me Any New Insights but that I Need to be Regularly Listening to in an Active Effort to Continually Live Fully and Love Softly,” which is one of my favorite genres because those audiobooks always bring me a certain amount of peace while listening.

Great audiobook read by the author with some excellent points and an hour long conversation between him and his wife that I found lovely. Warning: You may develop an urge to go on a Vipassana Meditation Retreat even though your 9-5 would not allow that.

[Maja Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

A word salad

"When he tries to say something ‘philosophical,’ but we had that thought when we were 11."

Oh boy. I'm genuinely surprised by how many positive comments this book has received. Getting through it was a daunting task… much like with Pueblo's previous work, Lighter. I picked it up because I used to love his poetry when I was younger, but this one left me really disappointed.

I’m not sure whether he *had to* write this book or genuinely wanted to, but it reads more like a scattered collection of thoughts you'd jot down in your notes app than a cohesive, well-researched work. The repetition is exhausting. It mostly circles around surface-level reflections like “love is a journey,” or constant references to meditation (which apparently helped him and his wife… cool, but do we need to hear about it in every chapter?).
I actually enjoy the self-help and psychology genres, so this should’ve been a hit for me. The problem is that there's no real substance. There’s no research, no statistics, no meaningful quotes to back up his ideas. Maybe I’ve just read better books on love, but this one falls short, by a lot.

[B.E. Rel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though this book is nonfiction, I really enjoyed reading it. It dives deep into meaningful topics and feels very real and accurate. The way it connects self-awareness, self-love, and love for others really made me think. I agreed with a lot of the author’s points, and it gave me a new perspective on personal growth and relationships.

[Marguerite · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5? My only exposure to Young Pueblo had been through snippets of his poetry that became popular on Instagram, so I was intrigued when I saw this. Lots of good wisdom here on—among many things—the importance of slowing down, understanding attachment & compassionate communication. It was interesting to read about the author’s journey of his relationship with his wife and the role meditation played.

IMO, this book could use some editing; I say this mostly because there were multiple comma splices throughout (hate to see a comma splice), and some more structure would have helped.

I’ve been curious to see how authors take on the lofty task of writing a “love” book, hoping to find something as inspiring/radical as bell hooks. The search continues (and would love to hear any suggestions), but until then I’ll think about Yung Pueblo, and try to incorporate his lessons in my life <3

[Electra · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine. Nothing ground-breaking. It could have been a lot shorter.

[Sanne brekelmans · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended book if you want to learn all about relationships (partner or friends). It’s easy written and learns how to love better by focusing on kindness, growth and compassion. How to deal with arguments, how to deal with your own reflections to your relationships and how to let go of attachment (in a good way) as it is the opposite of freedom.

‘Love me well or leave me alone’ - that’s the energy we want

[Rachel Dobkins · Rating 1 out of 5]

“There are already a multitude of practices in the world that have helped an enormous number of people so there is no need to reinvent the wheel.” The author could have heeded his own advice and not written another self-congratulatory book completely devoid of references or new information. This is essentially a book filled with a series of buzz-feed style lists with a ton of filler in between that sounds like he entered the top ten lists into Chat GPT and asked it to expand to meet a 350 page minimum. Just another influencer book resulting from “I struggled with this and got therapy/meditated and now I’m an expert on the subject and got a book deal because I have a following.”

[Nat :) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yung Pueblo never misses with his words, but How to Love Better hit especially deep. This book felt like a quiet mirror reminding me of the work, the growth, the unlearning, and the self-compassion that true love requires.

Every page made me pause and reflect. Every insight felt like it was written directly for me. Whether it was about boundaries, communication, or learning to love without control or fear, it all resonated on a cellular level. A soft, gentle reminder that love begins with presence—and it starts within.

This is the kind of book I’ll keep returning to, especially when I need a reset or some grounding in the kind of love I want to give and receive.

[Katherine Young · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book was a good pep talk on loving yourself to love others but it constantly mentioned advanced meditation without giving any real life examples or actionable takeaways of how you could apply that to a relationship. It felt like such a disconnect. Why mention something constantly and never go in depth? I found that gap very frustrating and am not sure how it made it through editing lacking so much context?

[Emily Clay]

ended up skimming a lot of this book — pretty repetitive but great overall message + takeaways!

[Ieva · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very basic information, and there are much better books on love and relationships out there. However, I did enjoy the two chapters on Arguing and the Foundations of a Good Relationship.

[Abbey · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you want ChatGPT’s answer to “how to love better” this would be it. A lot of the book was just waffle about self-love and meditation with a couple of good points littered throughout.

My main take away from this is: accept your partner will never be perfect, but through meditation and mindfulness you should perfect your own mind so that you can deal with the imperfections of your partner.

[Angé · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 - Hard to rate because I did enjoy it and it offered wisdom, but nothing new or deeply profound. At some points (a lot of points lol) it felt like a big advertisement for ✨ meditation ✨

[Abby Mayer · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book just was not my cup of tea. Very repetitive and focused a lot on meditation, which maybe I just am doing it totally wrong, but I can’t get myself to enjoy. I’m not really quite sure what I was hoping to get out of this book though, but I just struggled to relate to the author.

[Sarah Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional intelligence should be taught in school

[Sydney Trebus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a MUST read for everyone in a relationship. And honestly those not in one, those previously in one, and those wanting to be in one at some point during their life. This book is written in a clear and direct way, leaving no room for its potent and True messages to be missed or misinterpreted. This book provides many truths to carry with you in relationship and to carry with you in life. It encourages inner healing, self-growth, loving kindness, compassionate understanding, and simply Love. Our world needs more of all of this and so do our heart and minds.

Diego Perez is a writer unafraid of sifting through the poor messaging of our cultures to find the gems that we should truly carry with us as human beings who are gifted with the act of loving and being loved. Read this if you want to hear Truth, if you are invested in self-growth and healing, if you love people in your life and want to learn to love them better, or just want to read a beautiful book with many messages to add to your ocean of wisdom.

[Kristina Adebisi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book— I’ve seen a lot of his posts on Instagram and have found them to be helpful or come at the right time.

I made it about 75% of the way and then gave up. It just felt too repetitive. Every chapter had a list of items and summaries, things to do and lean into.

I love the perspective from meditation and I’m so grateful it has been healing in their relationship, but I think the book could have been half the size & been more effective.

But of course, just one gal’s opinion!

[Blade Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn’t sure what this book was going to contain but it was a great read and another way to look into things we all know but have questions about. Reading certain topics brought a unique way to look at what “love” can be in regard to self-love, friendships and partnerships.

[Ferg (Kayla) Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll be reading this again — many times! While at first glance it may seem like a relationship book, it really begins with the relationship you have with yourself. Yung Pueblo does an insightful job of offering tools that build a foundation of love rooted in compassion, kindness, and growth.

[Olivia Bury · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book for my office so my clients could read it..ended up realizing that I needed it more!! How lucky we are that we get to love people :’)

[Lilly Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 rounded down! This book was fantastic!!! I loved how he talked about self growth for the first half, and I thought his content was so relevant and insightful. Last few chapters were slow going for me so it took longer to read than I wanted but overall really loved.

[Lauren Hunter · Rating 5 out of 5]

No notes for Mr. Pueblo.

[Sara Murphy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried really hard to like this book. I even sticky noted it like I was learning a lot of important things. But you know what I realized halfway through? I don’t love the writing. The lessons were fine but nothing I haven’t heard before. Maybe just said a little differently. And the stories weren’t compelling enough to keep me engaged.

I hate giving up on books but I couldn’t make myself read any more of it 😭

[LeeTravelGoddess · Rating 5 out of 5]

BAY-BEHH, JUST DIP THE WHOLE BOOK IN HIGHLIGHTER!!!

Definitely purchased a copy for my library cause I took mad mental notes that I can’t wait to actually highlight in my copy AND physically answer the reflection questions at the end of each chapter!!! It’s just that good… I’ve found ways to love on my family/chosen peeps better even!!! I love it and am super giddy about expanding my heart and love in 2025.

LOVE #4/12: it’s a tops and I will surely read it again this year!!! 💚✨💚✨💚✨