我們為什麼對好事麻木、對壞事容忍？：習慣化如何左右人生

by Tali Sharot, 莊安祺 (Translator)

❝ 本書猶如一場生活實驗，帶領我們看穿習慣化，用嶄新的眼光衡量自己的人生、撼動已經凍結的信念 ❞

▎習慣化無所不在，卻又經常被無視

　　．在揭穿謊言時要避免重述謊言？
　　．一年安排幾趟小旅行的效果勝於一次長時間的遠行？
　　．瑞典改為「靠右行駛」的第一天，交通事故竟然大幅下降？
　　．結婚提升戀人的幸福程度，但在兩年後便會下降至婚前的水平？
　　．貼文的按讚鈕新增信任與不信任兩個選項，就能減少一半的假訊息？
　　．英國前首相大衛．卡麥隆為何甘冒政治史上的最大風險舉行脫歐公投？

曾經教我們興奮的事物，最後成了生活裡習以為常的擺設；短暫的戀情比長達十年的感情更讓人回味。我們一旦接受看似微不足道的壞事，對壞事的容忍度就在不知不覺中被放大；每安然度過一個小風險，就會讓我們去冒更大的風險。

我們每天都與這些內建的傾向共處，卻毫無頭緒它會影響我們至何種境地。哈佛法學教授桑思坦和MIT認知神經科學教授沙羅特深入研究這些現象，不僅告訴我們為何會習慣化，還要教我們如何去習慣化：重燃生活中的喜悅之火、讓我們更具創造力、覺察迫切需要改變之處。

▎每個行為都只比上一個糟糕一點點，最終會讓我們做出多可怕的事？

　　「我一開始只拿幾百、幾千，對此感到安心自在，
　　在我意識到之前，它已像滾雪球一樣變成巨大的數目。」
　　───龐氏騙局的首腦伯納德．麥道夫

想像你是新上任的社群小編，為一名抗癌成功的健康大師管理社群，她要你發表的第一篇文章是茄子的療效，你對內容有疑慮，但經過一番掙扎還是照做了；第二篇文章是自家網站販售的鴕鳥蛋可以促進生育，你覺得不對勁但還是照做了；幾個月後，她要你發表一篇癌症療法教讀者放棄化療改採某種偏方，這篇文章對讀者造成的影響，嚴重性遠大於之前的文章。

在工作幾個月後，或是任職第一天，你在哪種情況下比較可能遵照她的指示發布貼文？大部分人的答案是前者，因為對壞事的容忍度逐漸產生位移。這是在澳洲真實上演的吉卜森詐騙案，她被踢爆從未罹患任何癌症，而她的說謊傾向可以追溯到少女時期，這又是另一個習慣化效應。在家裡，當小孩撒謊立即給予指正；在公司，建立不接受小謊的文化（例如虛報幾塊開支），可以避免將來出現更大的過失。

▎歡愉，來自於不完全且間歇性的滿足

親密，是透過重複和熟悉而增加；慾望，卻會因為重複而麻痺。人類的慾望，從不關心自己去過哪裡，對還可以去哪裡倒是充滿激情。我們在理智上知道要珍惜的事物，經常與我們在情感上的感受分離。親密關係雖然需要共處的時間來維持，但參雜各自獨處的空間才是催情的良方。

科學家發現人們最受伴侶吸引的情況有兩種：一是對伴侶感到不熟悉與不了解（例如伴侶和陌生人交談展現不同的一面）；二是暫時分離之後。重燃愛意的關鍵就在於「去習慣化」， 不論是物理上的分離或心靈上的想像練習都有助益。

▎習慣化在某些方面有利於生存，去習慣化則有助於進步
　　
習慣化讓人類祖先不用每次遇見危及生命的野獸都像第一次那麼恐懼，讓我們上台做簡報不會像第一次那樣慘不忍賭；但習慣化也讓我們身處污染的環境而不自覺，身受歧視而沒有挺身而出。我們沒有去思考在我們周圍一點一滴增長的可怕事物，每一步都那麼小、那麼無關緊要、那麼自圓其說……以至於我們沒有看出它一天天發展，直至為時已晚。

人類文明的進展，仰賴於去習慣化倡導者打破多數人的盲點：性別歧視、種族歧視、專制暴政等。當有愈多的去習慣化倡導者，就能大幅擴展人類全體的界限，原本看似瘋狂的目標最後也會落在可能的範圍內。

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Science, Sociology

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2024

Reviews

[Stetson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am typically a fan of the work of Cass Sunstein. He's a sharp and clear thinker. Unfortunately, some of the ideas he's championed have not withstood scrutiny over time. I am specifically referring to the literature on "nudges," which appears to essentially be approaching no effect status (see PMID: 35858389). These scientific debates are complex though. Social science research is fraught - saddled with inherent limitations. Subsequently, I don't want to judge him too harshly just because some of his ideas may have been oversold. It's only as the research science develops that some of the limits or faults of a hypothesis become clear.

However, Look Again is an egregious example of "it should have been a long-form essay." The book is concerned with the neurophysiological/psychological phenomenon of habituation. This is the idea that our response to or perception of any given stimuli fades as exposure persists. We have a good understanding of how this is mediated physiologically by the nervous system as well. Sunstein and Sharot take this physiological idea and extend it across the entire psychosocial landscape. They explore the likely weak literature on this which basically suggests that humans are prone to ennui and that we need to shake things up to keep things fresh and exciting.

This is fairly standard self-help pablum. It could have come from Esther Perel rather than social scientists.

There is nothing disastrously wrong or misleading about any of it. In fact, some of the messages are likely useful to a number of young readers, but I don't think the ideas here are enough to justify a book or Sunstein's attention. Given that all the incentives are to write books instead of long-form essays, Sunstein and Sharot should have worked to assemble something more inspired and compelling. I think we've reached a point in pop-sci nonfiction where authors, especially academics with real bonafides, have to move beyond rhetorical approaches akin to Gladwellism, i.e. "the hard sell of a big theme supported by dubious, incoherent but dramatically presented evidence." We want these luminaries to push themselves and audiences alike toward great rigor.

[Kate Henderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really did not enjoy this book.
I struggled with Sharot's writing style, and the actual purpose of this book. What was it trying to do?
It just had so much waffle!
Just didn't get anything from this! Not for me!

[simona.citeste · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Samcwright · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Interesting principle. We get used to the same experiences and information. We can use that fact strategically. If we have unpleasant tasks or fears, we should expose ourselves to them in a frequent way so that their impact diminishes over time. Conversely, if we want a good experience to last longer or want to pay attention to our particular set of information, we should insert novelty.

For example, if we’re at a nice restaurant, enjoying a beautiful view, we should take a break at times to go to a part of the restaurant that feels cramped and crowded and then return to our table with a nice view so that we don’t get used to our surroundings.

[Chris Boutté · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love, love, LOVE, Tali Sharot and Cass Sunstein books, so I was super excited to found out the just released a book together. This book is all about habituation, and it’s so damn good. It’s a short read, but it discusses how habituation can be used for both good and bad in this world. Habituation happens regardless of whether we want it to or not, but habituation can lead to increases in sexism, racism, and many more bad situations. This book has a ton of studies, and the authors do a great job teaching the reader how to recognize habituation and how to maneuver it to lead a better life.

[CJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5
This is a book whose main point is obvious, but needs to be made explicit because we’ve become habituated to it (see what I did there?) and take it for granted. Examples are a bit labored at times, and the shoe horning in of the authors’ personal stories may grate on some. However, the chapter on authoritarianism is especially salient for our time. While it’s a bit hit and miss overall, this book contains many valuable insights and is definitely worth reading.

[Raluca Oana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Atât de mult m-am regăsit în ceea ce se povestește în această carte.

Știm cu toți că rutina din viața noastră ne poate dăuna și chiar dacă suntem conștienți de acest lucru, tot nu reușim să ieșim din zona de confort. Poate din cauza fricii de necunoscut sau din lene.

De asemenea, ne sunt expuse diverse exemple ale persoanelor care au trecut prin diferite situații și cum au reușit să iasă din ele.

Acomodarea. Oare v-ați întrebat vreodată cât de repede ne acomodăm în anumite situații cărora credem că nu le facem față?

Mi-a plăcut enorm de mult tot ceea ce e descris în carte. Cât de obișnuiți suntem cu anumite lucruri pe care nici măcar nu le mai observăm 🙈

5/5 ⭐️

[wordsofluss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rutina s-a infiltrat în fiecare aspect al vieții, iar universul tău pare pictat în cenușiu?! Atunci “Privește din nou” este cartea de care ai nevoie! 📖🫶

🔖 Că vrem sau nu să recunoaștem, mulți dintre noi încetăm să mai vedem și să apreciem lucrurile bune din viața noastră.

🔖 Continuăm să funcționăm zilnic pe pilot automat: ne urmăm aceeași rutină de dimineață, mergem pe același traseu la job sau la sală, citim până și aceleași tipuri de cărți refuzând să variem lucrurile. Recunosc, acest ultim aspect mi-am propus să-l schimb anul acesta, dar despre asta, într-o altă postare.

🔖 Misiunea autoarei Tali Sharot ✍️ este de a ne ajuta să privim dintr-un alt unghi lucrurile din jurul nostru, să observăm ceea ce a fost mereu acolo și am ignorat vreme îndelungată, să ieșim din rutină și să ne bucurăm mai mult de viață.

Honestly, i-a ieșit în cel mai fain mod posibil. 🤍 Deși cartea cuprinde multe studii, este scrisă într-un stil lejer și plin de umor, făcându-te să dai pagină după pagină.

Cartea asta nu vorbește doar despre obișnuința noastră cu binele, ci și despre cum acceptăm relativ repede lucrurile îngrozitoare, care devin norma, cum ar fi cruzimea, corupția și discriminarea.

📕 “Privește din nou” este o BOOKurie numai bună de parcurs acum la început de an. O recomand tuturor, dar cu atât mai mult celor care și-au propus să citească mai multă nonficțiune anul acesta. E ceea ce trebuie!

📝 “Când nu putem învăța, ne plictisim și devenim nefericiți.”

📝 “Pentru a trăi viața la maximum avem nevoie să explorăm noul și să îmbrățișăm vechiul.”

[Alexa Selden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful book about the ability for humans to habituate and de habituate. 5 stars

[Corinne Colbert]

Finish for my read a book from the 100s block for my 2024 summer reading challenge block

[Andrea Dumont · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very scientific oriented with lots of stories and ways they brought it back to their personal lives. I researched a few topics like Adaptive preference

[BoskyCat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listened to this book while in the throws of COVID... and it was a nice distraction. Lots of repetition, so you didn't really miss much while delirious with fever...

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read, informative, and slightly repetitive. Habituation is the topic at hand and it’s relevant to me as I tried cold plunges a couple years ago, gender bias in an engineering field, and generally always trying to experience and learn from this world. Dishabituation opens your mind, questions norms and habits, helps you see the pot of boiling water before it reaches deathly temperatures.

The chapters in this book were well laid out: well being, thinking and believing, health and safety, and society. For something I thought would be extremely personal as a topic, the society section brought in Hitlers time of habituation by the masses, and that was a different perspective than I’ve seen or read in history and historical fiction.

[Thijs · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected more from Sharot and Sunstein. The book is entertaining to read, but the content brings little new to the table. It feels more like a selfhelp book and does not shed an in-depth light on the subject. The topic of dishabituation is an interesting one. However, this book could have been an essay for the Sunday edition of a newspaper.

Possibly I am the wrong target for this book. I suppose it might be stimulating when interested but not schooled in social sciences or philosophy.

[Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was ok. The authors try to cover a lot of ground, but in my opinion, don't thoroughly develop their ideas. Data was present but limited, a lot of speculation that didn't always seem quite logical. The chapters on creativity and risk were the strongest and deserved more attention.

This is one of those books that is likely to start some conversations, I just don't see it moving the needle on anything intellectually or socially innovative.

[Agostino Araghi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Le idee presentate sono interessanti ma il concetto principale è chiaro dopo le prime dieci pagine e io resto del libro sembra solo un ripetersi continuo di esso in diverse salse. Gli esperimenti presentati sono poco approfonditi e già ben noti. Inoltre il libro è pieno di “si pensa che”, “supponiamo che”, “siamo quasi sicuri che”, “ è molto probabile che”. In pratica tante supposizioni e pochi fatti.

[Mikkel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I rather liked this book. It talks about how we habituate and dehabituate as human beings. It gives wonderful examples of growth, change, and how to enjoy certain moments more and to work through the unenjoyable ones.i will say though, it could have been shorter. Something’s felt rather repetitive. I didn’t habituate to their examples.

[Taryn Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

interesting parts, but didn’t love it

[Holly Klose · Rating 3 out of 5]

The concept of this is fun and important, but as many other reviews tried to warn me, the book is very repetitive and could have been one third the length.

[Hanniboi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting books around habituation.

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured Look Again in just a few days—it was absolutely captivating. This book has left a lasting impression on me, and I feel it will influence how I experience life moving forward.

[Ada Dumitrascu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some insights were interesting and helpful, but from one point it has become kind of repetitive.

[Flora Rj · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the books that everyone must read in today’s world of definitive statements, to understand how human beings actually function, think, and make statements they believe are right.

[Andrew Hill]

“The authors are engaging guides to their field, drawing readers up the scale of seriousness, from wellbeing tips, through modes of believing, via health and safety, to societal risks of unthinking acceptance of evils such as discrimination or evolving fascist regimes”

My Financial Times review

Business books: what to read this month https://on.ft.com/49ftgKx

[Cameron Barham]

“What is thrilling on Monday becomes boring by Friday. We habituate, which means that we respond less and less to stimuli that repeat. That’s human nature….When we habituate to bad things, we are less motivated to strive for change.”, p. 2-3

[Emily Nicoletta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Look Again was one of those prime examples of a self-help book that would have fared better as an article or essay.

There were some interesting facts and teachings here and there, but in all honesty, I don’t think the topics and themes flowed together well. I had so many moments of genuine confusion trying to understand the purpose or overarching lesson Look Again was trying to promote. It hopped around consistently between incredibly unrelated topics, which at times made it feel like a jumbled aggregation of random thoughts and “fun facts” rather than a structured, connected guide.

Unfortunately, I just couldn’t grasp the point or goal of Look Again.

[Katy Moser · Rating 2 out of 5]

After the first 50 pages, I kept thinking, “But why? What purpose is this serving?”. I am just not sure of the value of what was being discussed, and found it to be scattered and jumbled. Also- do they have stock in VR or something??

[Arielle Andreano · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not even all the way through but already agreeing that it should have been an essay. An awful lot of repetition that ultimately insults the reader’s intelligence. It is also strangely enamored with capitalism, frequently citing billionaires as positive examples, which makes one wonder “why am I taking life advice from people so out of touch with the everyman?”

[Jode · Rating 3 out of 5]

I quite enjoyed this book, it starts off very engaging, asking questions to get you thinking in more ways than one. I found that this book speaks to you, not at you, and tells you useful information through a story rather than just stating facts. Each section starts with a quote and there’s lots of real life examples which kept me interested throughout. Whilst I wouldn’t read the book again, I’d recommend it to a friend.
Thank you NetGalley, The Bridge Street Press & Little, Brown Book Group for an advanced copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review.

[Craig Becker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always ThereSharot T.Cass Sunstein
Sharot and Sunstein provided an insightful and helpful perspective. I am probably biased in favor of the book because it highlights many things uncovered in my research and things covered in my writings. The perspective provided in their book helps us better understand how and why we do what we do. They note something in the beginning that, if you are like me, I had not paid much attention to it. Specifically, they state, “What is thrilling on Monday becomes boring by Friday.” As they noted later, it is less thrilling because of habituation or the repetition of actions completed. The reputation of action generates less emotional reactions, meaning we respond less over time.

They encourage us to dishabituate because it can help us find better ways and should help us be more alert. Right now if we see what we expect, we cruise through life. We don’t react unless what we experience contradicts what we expect. To support this, they describe how accidents went down, rather than up when Sweden switched overnight from driving on the left side of the road to the right. They noted that this dishabituated people, and due to the change, they focused more and improved safety. This was an example they provided of how things can improve if we shake things up in our lives. Multiple examples are provided about creating experiences that can help us dishabituate.

In a new way, they explain the management saying, “We manage what we measure.” In their terms, they explain that we do not change what we do not see. They use these findings to help us better understand how and why misinformation is believed. A culmination of these ideas describes how habituation enabled Nazi Germany to happen. I thought these profound quotes used in the book captured the concept:
"Every step was so small...one no more saw it developing from day to day than a farmer in his field sees the corn growing. One day it is over his head." - anonymous German citizen
"We shall become prisoners of culture unless we become aware of the process and force ourselves to confront it." - John Howard
“We humans can adapt to a lot. It is easy to sleepwalk into a state of chronic stress and distraction without ever reflecting that things could be different.” - Tom Hartford

Throughout the book, they provide what, in retrospect, seems obvious. For instance, they point out that habituation is necessary because if we don’t habituate, we may not strive to improve. As is also obvious, we do not habituate to learning because learning, by definition, is change. They also note, as I have noted about wellness in the post Experiencing Wellness = Progress Toward Desired, post (https://positivehealthleadership.org/...) that we strive for progress, not perfection.

To emphasize their push for us to dishabituate, they point out how our habituation has enabled us to live more difficult lives than may be necessary. It is also noted that most accidents happen due to habituation. When we are habituated, less and less focus is used on our actions.

They end by suggesting we must up our game and institute “Progress: Breaking the chains of expectations.” In other words, we should Exceed Expectations (see Exceed Expectations—Updated (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ7sK...)). They explain that we often set low expectations so we don’t experience a negative prediction error. A negative prediction error happens when there is a gap between what we expected and what happened. This, they note, generally may only mean lower happiness for the short term but progress for the long term.

Overall, it is a very good book that captures many common ideas in useful ways. I recommend others read it and are inspired to raise their expectations by shaking things up. I hope this was helpful.

In retrospect, I realized I had written some things as an undergrad in 1988 that focused on these ideas. Let me know if you find these helpful: To Risk & Life's Lessons.

To Risk…
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to appear sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
Placing your ideas and dreams before a crowd risks their loss.
To love is to risk
not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live. Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves; they have forfeited
their freedom.
Only a person willing to risk is free.


LIFE'S LESSONS
1. Life teaches you to accept your mistakes as an adult and not to grieve about them as a child.
2. Life teaches you to build your roads today, for tomorrow is uncertain, and yesterday is gone.
3. Most importantly, life teaches you that if you think about yesterday, you will always wonder, "What if?" or "If I'd of only..." so concentrate on today so you never wonder.

If you think about yesterday, you will want to hide
yesterday's outcome because, as they always say,
"hindsight is better than foresight," but remember, you made the best decision you could have in light of the situation; accept your decisions and live!
for today!!!!!

ALWAYS REMEMBER:
What you do TODAY is important because you pay for it with a day of your life, a very high price indeed,
when tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever;
NEVER regret the price you paid for a day!!!!!!!!

ALSO KEEP IN MIND:
It is not a bell 'til you ring it, it is not a song 'til you sing it, and it is not a life 'til you live it!
So, don't worry, BE HAPPY. After all, worry is the most unproductive of all human activities, and if you do worry, you just make it double:
IN CONCLUSION
Learn from your mistakes and go into tomorrow with a smile!

CMB 10/22/88