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Butt Ninjas From Hell
Porn stars, holy emissaries, demons, and even just plain humans—ninjas come in all forms and from all kinds of Hell in this erotically charged comedic Wilde City anthology! Whether it’s the world of second-rate television, fluttering ninja stars, obsessions over a bronzy-olive toned soldier, or magic backsides, your authorial guides will take you where few readers have ever dared to go…without protection.
Kage Alan, JP Barnaby, Ally Blue, TC Blue, Shae Connor, Jevocas Green, Kiernan Kelly and Eden Winters bring you…Butt Ninjas From Hell.
You’ll Never Hear Them Coming!
Kage Alan, JP Barnaby, Ally Blue, TC Blue, Shae Connor, Jevocas Green, Kiernan Kelly and Eden Winters bring you…Butt Ninjas From Hell.
You’ll Never Hear Them Coming!
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First published April 14, 2014
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March 25, 2015
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April 16, 2014What do ninjas do when they have sex?
So far, nobody knows...
But now we do! All shall be revealed here!
Readers advisory: All readers should read under black light because, you know ... ninja's.
So far, nobody knows...
But now we do! All shall be revealed here!
Readers advisory: All readers should read under black light because, you know ... ninja's.
Want to read
August 6, 2016Even though I definitely read the cover as "Gutt ninjas from hell", I'm totally gonna read this. Yurp.
May 4, 2016
I must admit the main reason I picked up this book, despite the fact that I don’t normally go out of my way to read anthologies, is the name. I mean, come on, how can you not want to read a book called Butt Ninjas from Hell? It is just such a ridiculously fun title that I felt it would be a shame to pass it up. And while it was a mixed bag of stories, I have to say the reading experience was quite fun.
These eight stories explore the lives of ninjas, demons, vagabonds, porn stars, and just everyday guys–-who end up being not so normal after all. And while they may all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors, the one thing they do have in common is a quick body and a willing bottom.
CLEAN UP ON AISLE ME! by Shae Connor: 3.5 stars
Working at a costume/party store is never a lot a fun–-and Halloween is certainly its own brand of hell–-but this year it’s just gotten ridiculous. Jonny may have wanted a bit of spare cash (and a way to splurge on food that is not ramen) but he never signed up for wrangling smelly, skin crawlingly icky demons lurking through the back aisles of the store. Luckily for him there seems to be a pack of ninjas skulking in those aisles as well. Now all he has to do is avoid getting eaten, find a way to finish his homework in between hellish visitations, and convince the sexy, blue-eyed ninja to steal him away (preferably to somewhere with a bed).
I liked this story, though at times it did feel a little flat. I guess I just never had enough time to warm up to the characters. But I liked the whole secret demon-hunting ninja group, and I liked how Jonny (after a bout of freaking out) wanted to join up. Even if it felt like it was more to help him get into Bert’s pants, than a real desire to hunt down the creepy-crawlies. The chemistry between the characters was good though, and I found the whole dream sequence rather hilarious. Not sure about the ending though.
SHEATHING HIS SWORD by JP Barnaby: 4 stars
Oh what’s a porn star to do?…Clumsy ninjas, ridiculous dialogue, and one unexpected visit from dear ol’ dad. Some shoots are certainly more interesting than others. Especially when one of the stars is fighting a losing battle against those little blue pills.
This was just fucking hilarious. I loved reading this short story. There might not have been a whole lot of plot–-other than one seriously botched porn shoot-–but it was a lot of fun. And poor Nicky did get to come…eventually.
TWINK NINJA TIGER, FLAXEN BUNS OF FURY by Kage Alan: 2 stars
Ninjas still exist, but they are definitely on the down-low. At this school for the training of ninjas in rural Japan, the masters are waiting for the Church’s emissary, a 80 year old man, who holds the fate of the school in his hands. But they are in for a surprise when Ashton–-young, virile, and naive–-shows up instead.
Mostly this just felt over the top. Like I’m not sure it even knows what the top looks like. Basically no real plot-–I could never figure out what Ashton was supposed to be doing or why the Christian(?) church was keeping a bunch of ninjas in its employ. Honestly it felt like everything was just a vehicle for throwing out every double entendre known to man. And after two pages of all that I really just wanted it to end.
TWERK IT by Ally Blue: 4.5 stars
Hugo (demon slayer extraordinaire) is hired to kill L’lousche (sexy sex demon) by a rich, but entirely sleazy porn-king. Yet the powers of L’lousche’s hot ass might just be the thing that slays the slayer. Multiple times. Not that Hugo would be all that upset about it.
I really liked this one. The story was great, and the characters felt real even though we barely get to know them. This version of hell (and its Mistress) was fun. Would love to read more stories with these two. Or maybe just in this world.
HELL IS WHERE THE HEART IS by Eden Winters: 3 stars
Vik’s mom, the BFD (Big Fucking Deal) of the sixth level of hell wants granddemons. And she wants them now! Too bad that her son (and half-human) Vik is not at all attracted to anyone who would make that possible. In fact the only person (er…demon) that he has ever loved has been forbidden from ever coming to the sixth level ever again. But momma will not be denied her granddemons…so Vik has one day to find a mate, or else his mom is finding one for him.
It had an interesting start, though it kinda petered out near the end. I guess it seemed obvious who Vik was going to end up with, and though the twist did make for an interesting read, it didn’t really pull the wool over my eyes. Plus is it so wrong that I want my demons to be evil(ish)? The end basically became fluffy, why can’t we all be friends and hold our demon hands and sing kumbaya? Not what I want out of my demons. Overall, the story was good, though a bit ho-hum at times.
NINJA, VANISH! by Kiernan Kelly: 4 stars
Colt and his three friends are actors on the kids tv show The Rainbow Ninja Clan Power Hour. They are poorly paid, unappreciated, and tired of not even getting to do the fun stuff (i.e. the fighting) on the show. Complaining that he is getting nowhere on the show, Colt says he’ll do anything for something better. And he gets his wish…but making deals with demons is never a good idea.
Well written and funny, I really liked this one. The characters were great, and the twist at the end was nice. This show that Colt and his friends worked on reminded me a lot of a combination of The Power Rangers and Captain Planet (ah...is that what my childhood taste like?). Wish we had more of Colt and Mo though, instead of skipping over their year together–-hot demon-on-ninja action is hot–-but since it is only a short story, I totally understood. Still…sexy demon time.
THE SOLDIER AND THE VAGABOND by Jevocas Green: 4 stars
Kioshi has no home, no money, no one to care about him. But he is fascinated by one of the soldiers patrolling the market area where he ‘lives’. But what chance has he of gaining the man’s attention? Except the man keeps coming to his rescue…so there is always hope. Or at least Kioshi dreams.
Present tense is not my favorite, but it really worked here. It was distracting at first, but once you get used to it, it stops being an issue and you’re so far into the story that you hardly even notice. The story was short-–the shortest in this anthology–-but it was well written. Wish there had been more there, because I wanted to know more about Kioshi and Tamotsu. It was a tad bit dub-con, so if you don’t like that, you should avoid it. But I thought was pretty hot.
A NINJA WALKS INTO A BAR T.C. Blue: 2.5 stars
Turns out that guy trying to pick him up in the bar is a little more literal with the ‘picking up’ than Dallas thought. Though maybe the whole kidnapping thing wasn’t so bad, since between hot stranger and gnarly demons, Dallas will definitely pick hot-as-sin Ki. Though…now he is in hell, about to be ‘tested’ by a Hell Lord, and no one will tell him what is going on. Or when he can go home. Or why the place seems so damn familiar.
This was the longest story in the anthology, and to be honest, it was just boring. Maybe it was the length, or the characters, but I could not get into this one (it may also have something to do with the fact that I was trying to watch hockey at the same time, but that is what commercials are for!). Dallas was annoying-–just something about him rubbed me the wrong way-–and he refuses to listen. Like ever. I think Ki had to tell him it was not the drinks making him all horny like five times before he even bothered to listen. Ki was pretty cool though. Liked how he was torn between his duty and his dick…I mean, his heart. I think others might like this, but me and Dallas just could not get along, so it was a rough read for me.
For the most part, I enjoyed this anthology. It wasn’t spectacular, but there were some real gems in there. And sometimes it was just nice to sit down and read a quirky story about ninjas and demons. I did love the variety here, and since no two stories were alike I never knew what was coming next.
3.5 stars overall
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
These eight stories explore the lives of ninjas, demons, vagabonds, porn stars, and just everyday guys–-who end up being not so normal after all. And while they may all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors, the one thing they do have in common is a quick body and a willing bottom.
CLEAN UP ON AISLE ME! by Shae Connor: 3.5 stars
Working at a costume/party store is never a lot a fun–-and Halloween is certainly its own brand of hell–-but this year it’s just gotten ridiculous. Jonny may have wanted a bit of spare cash (and a way to splurge on food that is not ramen) but he never signed up for wrangling smelly, skin crawlingly icky demons lurking through the back aisles of the store. Luckily for him there seems to be a pack of ninjas skulking in those aisles as well. Now all he has to do is avoid getting eaten, find a way to finish his homework in between hellish visitations, and convince the sexy, blue-eyed ninja to steal him away (preferably to somewhere with a bed).
I liked this story, though at times it did feel a little flat. I guess I just never had enough time to warm up to the characters. But I liked the whole secret demon-hunting ninja group, and I liked how Jonny (after a bout of freaking out) wanted to join up. Even if it felt like it was more to help him get into Bert’s pants, than a real desire to hunt down the creepy-crawlies. The chemistry between the characters was good though, and I found the whole dream sequence rather hilarious. Not sure about the ending though.
SHEATHING HIS SWORD by JP Barnaby: 4 stars
Oh what’s a porn star to do?…Clumsy ninjas, ridiculous dialogue, and one unexpected visit from dear ol’ dad. Some shoots are certainly more interesting than others. Especially when one of the stars is fighting a losing battle against those little blue pills.
This was just fucking hilarious. I loved reading this short story. There might not have been a whole lot of plot–-other than one seriously botched porn shoot-–but it was a lot of fun. And poor Nicky did get to come…eventually.
TWINK NINJA TIGER, FLAXEN BUNS OF FURY by Kage Alan: 2 stars
Ninjas still exist, but they are definitely on the down-low. At this school for the training of ninjas in rural Japan, the masters are waiting for the Church’s emissary, a 80 year old man, who holds the fate of the school in his hands. But they are in for a surprise when Ashton–-young, virile, and naive–-shows up instead.
Mostly this just felt over the top. Like I’m not sure it even knows what the top looks like. Basically no real plot-–I could never figure out what Ashton was supposed to be doing or why the Christian(?) church was keeping a bunch of ninjas in its employ. Honestly it felt like everything was just a vehicle for throwing out every double entendre known to man. And after two pages of all that I really just wanted it to end.
TWERK IT by Ally Blue: 4.5 stars
Hugo (demon slayer extraordinaire) is hired to kill L’lousche (sexy sex demon) by a rich, but entirely sleazy porn-king. Yet the powers of L’lousche’s hot ass might just be the thing that slays the slayer. Multiple times. Not that Hugo would be all that upset about it.
I really liked this one. The story was great, and the characters felt real even though we barely get to know them. This version of hell (and its Mistress) was fun. Would love to read more stories with these two. Or maybe just in this world.
HELL IS WHERE THE HEART IS by Eden Winters: 3 stars
Vik’s mom, the BFD (Big Fucking Deal) of the sixth level of hell wants granddemons. And she wants them now! Too bad that her son (and half-human) Vik is not at all attracted to anyone who would make that possible. In fact the only person (er…demon) that he has ever loved has been forbidden from ever coming to the sixth level ever again. But momma will not be denied her granddemons…so Vik has one day to find a mate, or else his mom is finding one for him.
It had an interesting start, though it kinda petered out near the end. I guess it seemed obvious who Vik was going to end up with, and though the twist did make for an interesting read, it didn’t really pull the wool over my eyes. Plus is it so wrong that I want my demons to be evil(ish)? The end basically became fluffy, why can’t we all be friends and hold our demon hands and sing kumbaya? Not what I want out of my demons. Overall, the story was good, though a bit ho-hum at times.
NINJA, VANISH! by Kiernan Kelly: 4 stars
Colt and his three friends are actors on the kids tv show The Rainbow Ninja Clan Power Hour. They are poorly paid, unappreciated, and tired of not even getting to do the fun stuff (i.e. the fighting) on the show. Complaining that he is getting nowhere on the show, Colt says he’ll do anything for something better. And he gets his wish…but making deals with demons is never a good idea.
Well written and funny, I really liked this one. The characters were great, and the twist at the end was nice. This show that Colt and his friends worked on reminded me a lot of a combination of The Power Rangers and Captain Planet (ah...is that what my childhood taste like?). Wish we had more of Colt and Mo though, instead of skipping over their year together–-hot demon-on-ninja action is hot–-but since it is only a short story, I totally understood. Still…sexy demon time.
THE SOLDIER AND THE VAGABOND by Jevocas Green: 4 stars
Kioshi has no home, no money, no one to care about him. But he is fascinated by one of the soldiers patrolling the market area where he ‘lives’. But what chance has he of gaining the man’s attention? Except the man keeps coming to his rescue…so there is always hope. Or at least Kioshi dreams.
Present tense is not my favorite, but it really worked here. It was distracting at first, but once you get used to it, it stops being an issue and you’re so far into the story that you hardly even notice. The story was short-–the shortest in this anthology–-but it was well written. Wish there had been more there, because I wanted to know more about Kioshi and Tamotsu. It was a tad bit dub-con, so if you don’t like that, you should avoid it. But I thought was pretty hot.
A NINJA WALKS INTO A BAR T.C. Blue: 2.5 stars
Turns out that guy trying to pick him up in the bar is a little more literal with the ‘picking up’ than Dallas thought. Though maybe the whole kidnapping thing wasn’t so bad, since between hot stranger and gnarly demons, Dallas will definitely pick hot-as-sin Ki. Though…now he is in hell, about to be ‘tested’ by a Hell Lord, and no one will tell him what is going on. Or when he can go home. Or why the place seems so damn familiar.
This was the longest story in the anthology, and to be honest, it was just boring. Maybe it was the length, or the characters, but I could not get into this one (it may also have something to do with the fact that I was trying to watch hockey at the same time, but that is what commercials are for!). Dallas was annoying-–just something about him rubbed me the wrong way-–and he refuses to listen. Like ever. I think Ki had to tell him it was not the drinks making him all horny like five times before he even bothered to listen. Ki was pretty cool though. Liked how he was torn between his duty and his dick…I mean, his heart. I think others might like this, but me and Dallas just could not get along, so it was a rough read for me.
For the most part, I enjoyed this anthology. It wasn’t spectacular, but there were some real gems in there. And sometimes it was just nice to sit down and read a quirky story about ninjas and demons. I did love the variety here, and since no two stories were alike I never knew what was coming next.
3.5 stars overall
This book was provided free in exchange for a fair and honest review for Love Bytes. Go there to check out other reviews, author interviews, and all those awesome giveaways. Click below.
May 6, 2014
An anthology featuring stories that involve ninjas, hell, or a combination of both.
Cleanup on Aisle Me! – Shae Connor
Jonny works part time at a party store while going to school at night. When he first sees the “ninjas” sneaking around at the back of the store, he thinks he’s hallucinating, but it turns out they are very real. They’re not ninjas, of course, but they are members of a secret society which sends the demons from the “other dimension” back to it, or literally squash them so they can’t come back.
Jonny is attracted to the ninja with the beautiful blue eyes. This guy has saved him a number of times, and when all hell literally breaks loose, and the ninja, Bert, saves him yet again, Jonny finally convinces Bert to help him apply for a job with their organization. He also convinces Bert, via a mutual hand-job, that they belong together, or at least they need to give a relationship a shot. This was a cute story, sweet with the promise of both a ninja job and a HEA for both guys.
Sheathing His Sword by JP Barnaby
Sweet, short story about two guys trying to film a porn scene where one is a ninja who breaks into the other’s apartment. It happens to be the director’s apartment, and when his father shows up in the middle of the sex scene, he panics and tells the porn guys to hide. Of course, they don’t, but they do attempt to remain quiet in the kitchen, except for Nicky, the bottom, who insists that he needs to deal with his erection right now. Simple, easy ending, and it made me smile.
Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns of Fury – Kage Alan
This author has a twisted and wonderful sense of humor. I loved this one! Laughed so hard, I cried. It seems to start off so seriously at a secret ninja training camp where ninjas from all over the Far East train. The two elderly Masters, referred to as Master Moustache and Master Beard, for their facial hair, are serious and stately as they await the arrival of the elderly emissary from headquarters for his annual inspection. The emissary is there to assure that they uphold their five hundred year creed, the “Aligned Ninja Agreement List of Relevant Operating Directives” or ANALROD for short, hence the nickname of their trainees, Butt Ninjas.
They’re shocked when they discover that it’s the emissary’s new assistant who has come instead, and he’s gorgeous, sexy and blond. He’s also outrageously outspoken and a naïve twink who also happens to be a virgin. That doesn’t last when one of the Butt Ninjas gets to him during the night. The whole story is a very campy, fun romp. Terrific and entertaining!
Twerk It – Ally Blue
L’Lousche (Lush) is a minor demon in hell and it seems he’s on a hit list. Hugo, a demon slayer and member of NKED, Ninjas Killing Evil Demons, is hired by Felix Caine to find and kill Lush. Lush’s role is to seduce young men into bad behavior, but he’s never really done anyone the sort of harm that would attract the attention of a killer. When Hugo sees Lush he’s lost. He and Lush are instantly attracted and, after satisfying that attraction, Lush tells Hugo that Felix is really Phaelycks Caine, an incubus who left hell without Satan’s permission several years before. Lush saw him leave and he thinks Phaelycks wants him dead so he won’t tell Satan where he is. Hugo agrees to help Lush and the two go after Phaelycks, finding their own happiness along the way. Short, but sweet, this was a nice story.
Hell is Where The Heart Is – Eden Winters
Eden Winters has a wonderfully vivid imagination, and it certainly shows in this short romp through hell. For Vik, the half-human, half-demon son of the 6th level Sataness, the only pleasure in life happens when he goes up to have a night out with humans. Unfortunately, he almost always gets in trouble so he’s been without a man for quite a while. Actually, he’s carrying a torch, so to speak, for Diomede, the handsome son of hell’s 5th level Sataness, a man he hasn’t seen since the gates between their worlds were sealed.
When his mother tries to mate him with sexy, female she-devils, he convinces her to give him twenty-four hours. During that time, he visits a nightclub in the human world and meets Dillon, a very sexy ninja and brings him back to spend the night. Without giving away the plot completely, I’ll just say that nothing is as it seems for either man, and Vik ultimately finds the love of his life. Ms. Winters’ writing is highly descriptive, and she creates a unique and colorful world that made me actually want to go to hell!
Ninja, Vanish!—Kiernan Kelly
The Rainbow Ninjas are a squad of four men starring in a kid’s TV show but longing for better acting roles. When Colt, one of the guys, wishes that they could do so much more, a naked demon named Mo appears. He convinces Colt to sign a contract to promote Hell and in exchange he’ll guarantee him a great acting job. All seems to go well until Colt discovers that he’s not really marketing Hell, he’s the first of the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse and the end is near. When he finds out that the other three actors have been coerced in doing the same thing, he sets out to foil the devil and save the world.
The Soldier and the Vagabond – Jevocas Green
Very short, but packing a lot of punch, this is the tale of a young man who is destitute and is caught stealing apples. When the soldier who captures him decides to free him instead, the young man falls completely under the soldier’s spell. Not long after, the young man spots the soldier, who he has learned is a ninja, as he’s heading home. When he follows, he’s captured and tied up, then taught to submit to the ninja’s domination. Nice HEA.
A Ninja Walks Into a Bar—TC Blue
Dallas is celebrating his twenty-third birthday at a club when Ki, a hulking ninja-type guy, tries to convince him to leave before it’s too late. Not understanding, Dallas refuses, but when Ki picks him up bodily and starts running out of the club, Dallas finally sees and hears the kidnappers who have been sent to snag him. Ki takes him to his own house and is surprised that Dallas can actually see what he really looks like. He uses a glamour spell to cover his real looks and Dallas is the first guy he’s ever “saved” who can actually tell what he looks like.
When Dallas wakes up, he finds out he’s in hell, but instead of being upset, he’s very accepting and tells Ki that the place actually matches his dreams. The two have sex, lots of sex, and then while Dallas sleeps, Ki goes to see Lord Nikita, the demon responsible for Ki kidnapping Dallas. Nikita demands that Ki pump Dallas for information about his mother. Satisfied with what he learns, Nikita sends for Dallas and when he finally gets to meet the demon lord, several surprising events and revelations occur and, contrary to Ki’s fears, Dallas is not killed. Instead, information about his past and his future are revealed, and both Dallas and Ki need to make a major decision. This was a very nice, creative story with a satisfying HEA.
Overall, I liked the book, and my personal favorite was “Hell is Where The Heart Is” by Eden Winters. Because of this outstanding story, and some of the others that I thought were really good, I’m going to give the anthology 4 stars.
Note: This book was provided to me by the publisher through Hearts on Fire Reviews in exchange for an impartial review.
Cleanup on Aisle Me! – Shae Connor
Jonny works part time at a party store while going to school at night. When he first sees the “ninjas” sneaking around at the back of the store, he thinks he’s hallucinating, but it turns out they are very real. They’re not ninjas, of course, but they are members of a secret society which sends the demons from the “other dimension” back to it, or literally squash them so they can’t come back.
Jonny is attracted to the ninja with the beautiful blue eyes. This guy has saved him a number of times, and when all hell literally breaks loose, and the ninja, Bert, saves him yet again, Jonny finally convinces Bert to help him apply for a job with their organization. He also convinces Bert, via a mutual hand-job, that they belong together, or at least they need to give a relationship a shot. This was a cute story, sweet with the promise of both a ninja job and a HEA for both guys.
Sheathing His Sword by JP Barnaby
Sweet, short story about two guys trying to film a porn scene where one is a ninja who breaks into the other’s apartment. It happens to be the director’s apartment, and when his father shows up in the middle of the sex scene, he panics and tells the porn guys to hide. Of course, they don’t, but they do attempt to remain quiet in the kitchen, except for Nicky, the bottom, who insists that he needs to deal with his erection right now. Simple, easy ending, and it made me smile.
Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns of Fury – Kage Alan
This author has a twisted and wonderful sense of humor. I loved this one! Laughed so hard, I cried. It seems to start off so seriously at a secret ninja training camp where ninjas from all over the Far East train. The two elderly Masters, referred to as Master Moustache and Master Beard, for their facial hair, are serious and stately as they await the arrival of the elderly emissary from headquarters for his annual inspection. The emissary is there to assure that they uphold their five hundred year creed, the “Aligned Ninja Agreement List of Relevant Operating Directives” or ANALROD for short, hence the nickname of their trainees, Butt Ninjas.
They’re shocked when they discover that it’s the emissary’s new assistant who has come instead, and he’s gorgeous, sexy and blond. He’s also outrageously outspoken and a naïve twink who also happens to be a virgin. That doesn’t last when one of the Butt Ninjas gets to him during the night. The whole story is a very campy, fun romp. Terrific and entertaining!
Twerk It – Ally Blue
L’Lousche (Lush) is a minor demon in hell and it seems he’s on a hit list. Hugo, a demon slayer and member of NKED, Ninjas Killing Evil Demons, is hired by Felix Caine to find and kill Lush. Lush’s role is to seduce young men into bad behavior, but he’s never really done anyone the sort of harm that would attract the attention of a killer. When Hugo sees Lush he’s lost. He and Lush are instantly attracted and, after satisfying that attraction, Lush tells Hugo that Felix is really Phaelycks Caine, an incubus who left hell without Satan’s permission several years before. Lush saw him leave and he thinks Phaelycks wants him dead so he won’t tell Satan where he is. Hugo agrees to help Lush and the two go after Phaelycks, finding their own happiness along the way. Short, but sweet, this was a nice story.
Hell is Where The Heart Is – Eden Winters
Eden Winters has a wonderfully vivid imagination, and it certainly shows in this short romp through hell. For Vik, the half-human, half-demon son of the 6th level Sataness, the only pleasure in life happens when he goes up to have a night out with humans. Unfortunately, he almost always gets in trouble so he’s been without a man for quite a while. Actually, he’s carrying a torch, so to speak, for Diomede, the handsome son of hell’s 5th level Sataness, a man he hasn’t seen since the gates between their worlds were sealed.
When his mother tries to mate him with sexy, female she-devils, he convinces her to give him twenty-four hours. During that time, he visits a nightclub in the human world and meets Dillon, a very sexy ninja and brings him back to spend the night. Without giving away the plot completely, I’ll just say that nothing is as it seems for either man, and Vik ultimately finds the love of his life. Ms. Winters’ writing is highly descriptive, and she creates a unique and colorful world that made me actually want to go to hell!
Ninja, Vanish!—Kiernan Kelly
The Rainbow Ninjas are a squad of four men starring in a kid’s TV show but longing for better acting roles. When Colt, one of the guys, wishes that they could do so much more, a naked demon named Mo appears. He convinces Colt to sign a contract to promote Hell and in exchange he’ll guarantee him a great acting job. All seems to go well until Colt discovers that he’s not really marketing Hell, he’s the first of the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse and the end is near. When he finds out that the other three actors have been coerced in doing the same thing, he sets out to foil the devil and save the world.
The Soldier and the Vagabond – Jevocas Green
Very short, but packing a lot of punch, this is the tale of a young man who is destitute and is caught stealing apples. When the soldier who captures him decides to free him instead, the young man falls completely under the soldier’s spell. Not long after, the young man spots the soldier, who he has learned is a ninja, as he’s heading home. When he follows, he’s captured and tied up, then taught to submit to the ninja’s domination. Nice HEA.
A Ninja Walks Into a Bar—TC Blue
Dallas is celebrating his twenty-third birthday at a club when Ki, a hulking ninja-type guy, tries to convince him to leave before it’s too late. Not understanding, Dallas refuses, but when Ki picks him up bodily and starts running out of the club, Dallas finally sees and hears the kidnappers who have been sent to snag him. Ki takes him to his own house and is surprised that Dallas can actually see what he really looks like. He uses a glamour spell to cover his real looks and Dallas is the first guy he’s ever “saved” who can actually tell what he looks like.
When Dallas wakes up, he finds out he’s in hell, but instead of being upset, he’s very accepting and tells Ki that the place actually matches his dreams. The two have sex, lots of sex, and then while Dallas sleeps, Ki goes to see Lord Nikita, the demon responsible for Ki kidnapping Dallas. Nikita demands that Ki pump Dallas for information about his mother. Satisfied with what he learns, Nikita sends for Dallas and when he finally gets to meet the demon lord, several surprising events and revelations occur and, contrary to Ki’s fears, Dallas is not killed. Instead, information about his past and his future are revealed, and both Dallas and Ki need to make a major decision. This was a very nice, creative story with a satisfying HEA.
Overall, I liked the book, and my personal favorite was “Hell is Where The Heart Is” by Eden Winters. Because of this outstanding story, and some of the others that I thought were really good, I’m going to give the anthology 4 stars.
Note: This book was provided to me by the publisher through Hearts on Fire Reviews in exchange for an impartial review.
May 3, 2014
4.25 marbles
I love anthologies, I get to read new to me authors, and in this case, a couple of my favorites too. Everyone’s got a different take on what it means to be a ninja from hell, and from the coffee-snort title to the last line, this was fun. Apparently there’s a companion volume called Butt Pirates from Space. Excuse me while I clean my keyboard.
Cleanup on Aisle Me--Shae Connor has hell-beasties erupting into a costume store: her clerk Johnny doesn’t quite believe the ninja forces can battle them, but they’re very efficient at disposing of the pieces after. Do not hold liquid while reading the ending.
Sheathing His Sword – JP Barnaby gives us ninja porn stars attempting a stealth shoot for reasons that make the producer look kind of pitiful. Cute, probably cuter if you like porn stars more than I do.
Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns of Fury – Kage Allen plays with all the ninja tropes in every cheesy movie when he sets a twinky emissary with a serious case of “doesn’t get it” to the sacred ninja training post for inspection. Definitely do not be holding liquid. Warukatta. Or bless their hearts. Or both. Cause I’m still giggling.
Twerk It – Ally Blue pays a humorous homage to a series I think needs to be mocked more often, with her demon slaying ninja on the trail of the sex and mischief demon who’s creating issues for the purveyor of porn. I never knew there was a demon dedicated to making sure I’m dressed like an old laundry basket. :D
Hell is Where the Heart Is – Eden Winters has a demon with mommy problems- as in the Big Fucking Deal of Level 6 has Life Plans for him. Vik has to find his own solution to her demands. Which spawns other issues. HEHEHE.
Ninja Vanish – Kiernan Kelly’s second rate TV ninjas take on real ninja issues in a deal that looks like agents really are the spawn of Satan. I would like to see them dressed in their Hell Ninja suits. Loved the plotting in the end.
The Soldier and the Vagabond – Jevocas Green has a sort of yaoi story, where the POV character reads very, very young, as in too young to read this book, no relationship development, and a microscopic plot to go with the dub-con. Yes doesn’t happen until after asking is irrelevant. There is a Ninja, there is a mention of Hell, and other than that I don’t know why this story is in this book. Yes, it hit my dub-con hot button which not everyone has, but the other issues are problems.
A Ninja Walks Into a Bar – TC Blue has the longest story in the collection, running approximately 1/3 of the word count, and it’s worth every word. Dallas has been abducted to Hell by the demon Lord Nikita’s ninja, Akira, who falls for his prisoner. Dallas is darling, running at the mouth and not seeing why Hell shouldn’t conform to his wishes, which turns out to be a strength. Ki ends up rethinking everything. Nicely done.
As with all anthologies, quality will vary, but here, aside from one very questionable inclusion, it’s varying in a high, narrow range. Three of the stories are biter-bit, my favorite kind, though to tell you which three and how would be spoilery. Much fun aside from the nasty jolt in the middle.
I love anthologies, I get to read new to me authors, and in this case, a couple of my favorites too. Everyone’s got a different take on what it means to be a ninja from hell, and from the coffee-snort title to the last line, this was fun. Apparently there’s a companion volume called Butt Pirates from Space. Excuse me while I clean my keyboard.
Cleanup on Aisle Me--Shae Connor has hell-beasties erupting into a costume store: her clerk Johnny doesn’t quite believe the ninja forces can battle them, but they’re very efficient at disposing of the pieces after. Do not hold liquid while reading the ending.
Sheathing His Sword – JP Barnaby gives us ninja porn stars attempting a stealth shoot for reasons that make the producer look kind of pitiful. Cute, probably cuter if you like porn stars more than I do.
Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns of Fury – Kage Allen plays with all the ninja tropes in every cheesy movie when he sets a twinky emissary with a serious case of “doesn’t get it” to the sacred ninja training post for inspection. Definitely do not be holding liquid. Warukatta. Or bless their hearts. Or both. Cause I’m still giggling.
Twerk It – Ally Blue pays a humorous homage to a series I think needs to be mocked more often, with her demon slaying ninja on the trail of the sex and mischief demon who’s creating issues for the purveyor of porn. I never knew there was a demon dedicated to making sure I’m dressed like an old laundry basket. :D
Hell is Where the Heart Is – Eden Winters has a demon with mommy problems- as in the Big Fucking Deal of Level 6 has Life Plans for him. Vik has to find his own solution to her demands. Which spawns other issues. HEHEHE.
Ninja Vanish – Kiernan Kelly’s second rate TV ninjas take on real ninja issues in a deal that looks like agents really are the spawn of Satan. I would like to see them dressed in their Hell Ninja suits. Loved the plotting in the end.
The Soldier and the Vagabond – Jevocas Green has a sort of yaoi story, where the POV character reads very, very young, as in too young to read this book, no relationship development, and a microscopic plot to go with the dub-con. Yes doesn’t happen until after asking is irrelevant. There is a Ninja, there is a mention of Hell, and other than that I don’t know why this story is in this book. Yes, it hit my dub-con hot button which not everyone has, but the other issues are problems.
A Ninja Walks Into a Bar – TC Blue has the longest story in the collection, running approximately 1/3 of the word count, and it’s worth every word. Dallas has been abducted to Hell by the demon Lord Nikita’s ninja, Akira, who falls for his prisoner. Dallas is darling, running at the mouth and not seeing why Hell shouldn’t conform to his wishes, which turns out to be a strength. Ki ends up rethinking everything. Nicely done.
As with all anthologies, quality will vary, but here, aside from one very questionable inclusion, it’s varying in a high, narrow range. Three of the stories are biter-bit, my favorite kind, though to tell you which three and how would be spoilery. Much fun aside from the nasty jolt in the middle.
January 14, 2023
4.5 Stars ~ Could anyone, possibly, not read a book titled 'Butt Ninjas From Hell'? My husband almost choked to death he was laughing so hard, and then he was thrilled that someone had written a book with such a great title. And I agree. The fact that the anthology is packed full of wonderful authors doesn't hurt a bit. *grins*
Clean Up On Aisle Me! by Shae Connor
Jonny is having a few very strange happenings at Partyville where he works. Ninjas keep appearing and disappearing. Then, a strange creature appears and the ninjas take care of it while securing and protecting Jonny in the break room. Jonny isn't sure whether he needs a white jacket or a lobotomy. When he finds himself attracted to one of the ninjas, Bert, and Jonny gets the story about demons from hell, literally, it's almost too crazy to not be real. Of course Jonny is interested in joining this crazy group and exploring his attraction with Bert.
What a fantastic beginning to this anthology! There was craziness, sexiness, and the author left it on a bit of a potential cliffhanger, and I, for one, would love to see more. I thought Jonny with his quirky sense of humor and Bert with his dry wit were perfect together. Thank you, Shae.
Sheathing his Sword by J.P. Barnaby
I, personally, would find it difficult to keep a straight face on a porn set. The dialogue is, almost always, pretty cheesy and I wouldn't be able to stop the giggles. If, however, I was filming in the director’s apartment, and it was a rather hot sex scene, and the doorbell rang, and it turned out to be the director's dad who doesn't know what his son does for a living…well, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to hold it in. This is the situation Aiden and Nicky find themselves in. The fact that Nicky took a little chemical aid and now he's in serious pain isn't helping matters. At all.
Picture this: the cameraman and two gay porn stars are hiding out in the kitchen. Nicky is in serious pain and needs relief. They're all trying to be quiet but they're getting the giggles while they listen to Todd's dad tell him his mother filed for divorce. I wouldn't have made it. I'd have gone out the window to the fire escape. Excellently funny addition to this book and since the author has many close friends in the adult entertainment industry it makes me wonder whether parts of this are true? Thank you for the laugh, J.P.!
Please find my full review at Rainbow Book Reviews
Clean Up On Aisle Me! by Shae Connor
Jonny is having a few very strange happenings at Partyville where he works. Ninjas keep appearing and disappearing. Then, a strange creature appears and the ninjas take care of it while securing and protecting Jonny in the break room. Jonny isn't sure whether he needs a white jacket or a lobotomy. When he finds himself attracted to one of the ninjas, Bert, and Jonny gets the story about demons from hell, literally, it's almost too crazy to not be real. Of course Jonny is interested in joining this crazy group and exploring his attraction with Bert.
What a fantastic beginning to this anthology! There was craziness, sexiness, and the author left it on a bit of a potential cliffhanger, and I, for one, would love to see more. I thought Jonny with his quirky sense of humor and Bert with his dry wit were perfect together. Thank you, Shae.
Sheathing his Sword by J.P. Barnaby
I, personally, would find it difficult to keep a straight face on a porn set. The dialogue is, almost always, pretty cheesy and I wouldn't be able to stop the giggles. If, however, I was filming in the director’s apartment, and it was a rather hot sex scene, and the doorbell rang, and it turned out to be the director's dad who doesn't know what his son does for a living…well, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to hold it in. This is the situation Aiden and Nicky find themselves in. The fact that Nicky took a little chemical aid and now he's in serious pain isn't helping matters. At all.
Picture this: the cameraman and two gay porn stars are hiding out in the kitchen. Nicky is in serious pain and needs relief. They're all trying to be quiet but they're getting the giggles while they listen to Todd's dad tell him his mother filed for divorce. I wouldn't have made it. I'd have gone out the window to the fire escape. Excellently funny addition to this book and since the author has many close friends in the adult entertainment industry it makes me wonder whether parts of this are true? Thank you for the laugh, J.P.!
Please find my full review at Rainbow Book Reviews
June 1, 2014
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
It always amazes me what comes of a prompt like “Butt Ninjas from Hell” when presented to a group of vastly different authors. This anthology is so much fun. Ranging from contemporary to paranormal, from parody to realistic, from demon ninjas to demon-fighting ninjas, this anthology is full of excitement, energy, imagination, and hilarity.
And let’s be honest, we can all tell from the title, this antho is more about the fun than the serious. It’s one of those books I read after a heart-wrenching story. And I loved it. These stories are wonderfully colorful and everything I hoped for when I picked it up.
Read Crissy's review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
It always amazes me what comes of a prompt like “Butt Ninjas from Hell” when presented to a group of vastly different authors. This anthology is so much fun. Ranging from contemporary to paranormal, from parody to realistic, from demon ninjas to demon-fighting ninjas, this anthology is full of excitement, energy, imagination, and hilarity.
And let’s be honest, we can all tell from the title, this antho is more about the fun than the serious. It’s one of those books I read after a heart-wrenching story. And I loved it. These stories are wonderfully colorful and everything I hoped for when I picked it up.
Read Crissy's review in its entirety here.
June 7, 2015
Butt Ninjas From Hell is a project that I have been looking forward to reading since I found out about it. This is an anthology that centres around a Ninja/M&M theme. From Demons to CPA's there is something for everyone in this book. It kept me in stitches with the odd 'awww' moment added.
5/5 from me :)
5/5 from me :)
April 21, 2014
A great collection of M/M ninja stories, with a tongue-in-cheek title, some with supernatural elements, some without. Some worked better for me than others.
Full review with individual ratings on Booklikes and my blog.
Full review with individual ratings on Booklikes and my blog.
May 31, 2014
Full review posted at http://guiltyindulgencebookclub.blogs...
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