Why am I like this?: Er is niets mis met mij (en met jou ook niet)

by Gemma Styles, Saskia Peeters (translator)

Gemma Styles, podcastmaker, influencer met ruim vijftien miljoen volgers, MQ MentalHealth-ambassadeur en zus van popicoon Harry Styles, deelt haar persoonlijke ervaringen met ADHD, depressie en angst en geeft handvatten voor het omgaan met de druk van het moderne leven

In een wereld waarin we in steeds sterkere mate afhankelijk zijn van technologie, we elk moment van de dag ‘aan’ moeten staan en ons sociale leven zich voor een belangrijk deel online afspeelt, liggen gevoelens van stress, eenzaamheid en onzekerheid dicht aan de oppervlakte. Meer dan ooit worstelen we met druk en angst. In dit boek combineert Gemma Styles wetenschappelijk onderzoek met haar eigen ervaringen met angst, depressie en neurodivergentie om de belangrijkste factoren die van invloed zijn op onze mentale gezondheid in kaart te brengen. Ze analyseert veelvoorkomende fenomenen zoals prestatiedruk, je gezien willen voelen en het imposter-syndroom, biedt handvatten en strategieën om hier beter mee om te gaan, en onthult de diepere lagen en maatschappelijke systemen die erachter schuilgaan. Want één ding is er is niets mis met ons, maar van alles met de maatschappij waarin we ons begeven.

Why Am I Like This? is een inzichtelijke, geruststellende gids die je door een stressvol bestaan navigeert, en een hart onder de riem voor iedereen die zich overweldigd, minderwaardig of niet op zijn, haar of hun plek voelt.

In de pers

‘Door nieuwsgierigheid en mededogen samen te brengen, biedt Styles’ inspirerende boek waardevolle inzichten om je door de stress en angsten van het moderne leven te navigeren. Een essentiële hulpbron om rustig en in balans te blijven.’ Waterstones

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Mental Health, Psychology, Health, Ebooks

304 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 15, 2024

Reviews

[paige (ptsungirl)]

SUPPORTIVE BESTIE FOR LIFE

[amy williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

first audiobook in a while and what a lovely lil book. very well researched, very open-minded, reassuring, comforting... whilst some parts were potentially too science-focused for me and slightly repetitive in places, it was still interesting to listen to. it's also not an audiobook that demands your full attention - i had it on whilst i was working and it's a nice comforting buzz to drift in and out of, reminding you that you're doing great!

[Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was such an interesting book. Everything is explained in a really understandable way, so there’s not too much complicated jargon used. If there is, it is always explained very well.
I thought this was really interesting. I learned a lot about how my brain works through this book and I feel like it’s really insightful.

Thank you NetGalley and Andrews McMeel publishing for the e-arc.

[Maliha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who knew being a lifelong Harry Styles fan would lead me to Gemma, the brainy sister I didn't see coming?

A heartfelt and insightful journey into the human psyche. Styles combines humor, vulnerability, and a deep understanding of the complexities of mental health to create a compelling narrative that resonates with readers. Her ability to weave personal anecdotes with broader psychological concepts makes the book both relatable and informative.

Styles' writing is engaging and accessible, making it easy for readers to connect with her experiences and reflections. The book is filled with moments of introspection and clarity that encourage readers to reflect on their own lives and experiences. While some parts felt a bit repetitive, the overall message of self-acceptance and growth shines through beautifully.

This book is a must-read for anyone looking to understand themselves better and feel less alone in their struggles. Gemma Styles has created a work that is both comforting and enlightening, and I highly recommend it to anyone on their own journey of self-discovery.

[Jazz · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 ⭐️ I’m so upset this wasn’t my cup of tea 😔 maybe it was me since I typically don’t like any self-help books, but this felt more like a research report than a self-help book. It included a lot of science like brain anatomy and signalling pathways which I wasn’t expecting, but for me personally, it was fine since I have previous knowledge in these areas. Gemma explained the science in basic terms which I think would be super easy to understand to someone who isn’t familiar with it, but it may be a lot to grasp for them. Anyway, she had some really good thoughts in the book about mental health which I guess was the overall topic, but she did go off into other areas as well. Love you Gem 🥹

[KatieT · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow .....this is, the first non fiction book that I didn't read along side a fiction (which is a big deal)! Honestly Gemma broke down brain science and mental health into a easily readable , joyful and reassuring read ..it was like having a conversation with a close friend !

If you're looking for a book to help you feel less alone in your thoughts and negative feelings, this is the book for you !

[Sarah Boon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay, but a lot of the content was nothing new for me. This undoubtedly comes my own experience, reading and writing on related topics before. Perhaps this book is more aimed at people just starting to learn about mental health and neurodivergence.

[EmG ReadsDaily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful, compassionate, thought-provoking and hopeful.

This is a well-researched and relatable exploration of mental health and self-compassion.

Format:Audiobook

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️ Wow! This book is profoundly powerful, insightful, validating, and healing. For anyone who has felt at odds with their own mind and brain—maybe that it’s failed you or somehow have come to the belief that you screwed it up along the way, this one is for you…for us.

As someone who has spent well over a decade battling through anxiety, depression, and ocd I have come in contact with a fair share of books about mood disorders and/or self help. I will 100% stand by the fact that this is the first book I read where I didn’t feel like I was getting talked at, but rather feeling like I’ve come in contact with a long lost friend who slowly takes me on a guided tour of my brain and it’s functions while slowly dispersing insight about the evolution, purpose and necessity of these said functions all in regards to the modern world. Gemma did such an incredible job at breaking down large daunting facts of information and presenting it in a way that’s accessible. Her thorough examples, whether fictional or drawn from her personal experience, bring a level of clarity and realness.

I’ve internally beaten myself up for years about feeling too sensitive, confused as to why my brain reacts differently in certain situations than my peers, or put off by my internal thought process, that then makes me question why am I like this (hence the title!), and this book provides reasonings and validations.

There is a beauty to this book through and through that leaves you feeling hopeful by the end. You gain a newfound understanding of your brain which has allowed myself to be more patient, give myself grace in situations where I haven’t in the past. This is a book about learning to love your brain, complexities and all, which in turn takes you on a journey to heal and love yourself again.

Gemma, thank you for sharing your story, and for writing this book. This is a book that has allowed me to take the hands of my past self and make amends with her, while gearing up and educating my present day self to stay hopeful about my future self!🥹♥️✨

[Katie | niftyreads]

I really enjoyed reading about 25 pages of this book, but unfortunately, I had to stop. I suffer from chronic migraines and eye migraines, and reading on my phone on the NetGalley app is not helpful for my health. I usually read on my Kindle because it's like reading a book page—there's no light.

Rating and reviewing what I read: I was very surprised by the knowledge base and information that Gemma Styles provided. I didn't expect this to be such a science-driven book, but it was wonderful! I have a lot of health problems, and I don't want someone just saying, "I suffer from this and do this, so you should, too." Styles backs up her health problems (and similar ones) with research, but it's not like reading a stuffy textbook. I feel like I'm talking to an intelligent friend who wants to help me or a doctor who listens to me and then explains the problem and how to solve it.

I look forward to purchasing this book and reading it in its entirety.

[kass(andra)]

"remember you are doing just fine" :')

[Sophia Cantwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read for 75 hard; not bad! Very informative and cute and helpful though some parts read like an undergrad research paper. Overall not a bad nonfiction option and helped me understand my brain more :-)

[alex franquinoa · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

a thoughtful, introspective exploration of mental health, empathy, and human connection.

don’t forget you are a space baby !!

[Freya Elliott · Rating 3 out of 5]

for the most part, i thought gemma’s writing was well researched and compassionate, with a lot of balance given to every point raised - i liked the scientific elements a lot (and wouldn’t have objected to even more of that, honestly).
my only real gripe is that the latter part of the book seems to lose focus slightly, and spends a little too long analysing social media and modern culture (though these are both certainty relevant to gemma’s main conversation on mental health - there was a point at which it started to go beyond that).

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

IN GEMMA STYLES WE TRUST

[Cath · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was an excellent, evidenced based overview of all things mental health difficulties, psychology, neurodiversity and wellness in the modern world. Worth a read for anyone who worries! Listened to audio book on long car journey.

[em · Rating 4 out of 5]

probs 3.7 ⭐️

i enjoyed this audio book! although in glad i listened to it and didn’t read it. i think with it being science and non fiction i may have struggled to pick it up, as it’s not my usual genre of book, but having it in my ears on the tube and when i’m walking was very enjoyable. it made me feel productive on my commute to and from work.

as someone with anxiety and has questioned having adhd herself, it was really interesting hearing how the brain works and processes your thoughts - especially coming from gemma who was recently diagnosed with adhd.

sometimes reading books with anxiety as the theme isn’t very enjoyable for me as it reminds me of specific anxiety attacks i’ve had or periods of my life where my anxiety was not good, but the fact that gemma explains why your brain feels certain ways actually made it a lot better and made me a lot less scared of that anxious feeling.

i’d be interested to listen to a book like this again!

[Ashleigh Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars ⭐️

I really enjoyed this book! Gemma narrated it really well. At first, I wasn't sure how well I would bode with the science-y nature of it and the way it's structured, but I was pleasantly surprised with how well l engaged with it. Gemma depicts statistics and information related to research pieces very well, and articulates herself clearly and concisely. I related to a number of things that came up, and overall am really glad to have listened to this.

[Sophie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A really interesting book that gives insight into what’s going on inside our brains. I saw myself reflected in many of the topics and started to ask why I feel and react the way I do. That was pretty helpful.

There were a few topics that I wish the author had gone a little deeper into, but for beginners, this is the optimal book.

[gracie · Rating 3 out of 5]

learning is so fun

[Lauren Hardy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook version and really enjoyed this book. It was very science based but explained in a way that was easy to understand. She went over a variety of topics on why our brains work the way they do and why we may act certain ways. She didn’t go too in depth on a lot of the topics while still being well researched and referencing relevant studies.

[cheyanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

key takeaways from this book

- Gemma Styles is one smart cookie
- our brains are fascinatingly complex
- colleges everywhere need to watch out because I'm coming for that psych degree

[Maiya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading this took longer than expected.. but it was very informative! I had a bit of insight on some of these topics because of my studies, but Gemma writes in such an easygoing manner that is both relatable and digestible. A lot of science talk in this, did make it drag out slightly, but I feel like a lot of people could learn from this book!

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

06.12.2024

Really interesting audiobook! Not at all what I expected - I thought this was going to be more of a self help book, but it was actually really factual and grounded in some solid research about how the brain works and why we behave in certain ways! Definitely learned a lot from this one

[Johanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

as a big gemma girlie it pains me to rate this book 3 (2,5) stars, especially because i was so so excited for it.
while i loved the intention behind the book, there were two main things that really irritated me:
1. the book read like a 280 page introduction to a research paper, without the main part. there was no novelty, no new ideas, no concepts that were news to me (disclaimer: i am a psychology major, so this point is highly biased). i was hoping for a more personal story and more insights into ADHD 🤷🏼‍♀️
2. the use of outdated research. apart from using outdated theorists models (eg ekman, freud) what really bothered me was the implication that people in the autistic spectrum struggle with empathy. this is a popular misconception and i‘m sure it was an honest mistake - however, that makes it just the more important to get your facts right. recent studies have shown that for many individuals on the spectrum quite the opposite is true - they experience stronger feelings of empathy than neurotypical individuals. it’s also important to note that the autism spectrum is far too diverse to make universal statements.

[Georgia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gemma writing about parasocial relationships… I feel so seen

[PDR · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m kind of sad that I wasn’t that into this book. I’ve loved Gemma for years, have always liked her honesty and really enjoyed listening to her podcast. But the book just felt like too much of a reach.

Some of the chapters where she spoke of the research of why the brain works the way it does, were definitely interesting. But too often I felt like she wanted to cover too many options. And when she’d make a statement she’d then go back on it by saying something like “but everyone has their opinion, and that’s fine”.

I think what I did like is her enthusiasm and passion for the subject. It’s clear she speaks from experience and just wants to share everything she’s researched and found in the years, that have helped her. So I can respect and admire that.

But bottom line, I had a hard time getting through it, (not something new with non-fiction in my case) and I feel like there’s not much that stuck with me.
I think I’ll just keep liking what she does with her socials and if she ever starts up her podcast again, I’d be a fan for sure.

[sarah marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

First audiobook of 2025 & i’m not sure I paid attention for the entire book….but think I got what I needed out of it.

Did I read this book because Gemma is Harry’s sister? Yes. I’m not ashamed of it but I am ashamed I wasn’t quite fond of this book. I found myself not listening to most of the audiobook (although gemma’s voice is LOVELY) as it kinda dragged on. This book was wayyyyy too scientific for me. Some people may love that…but I for one wasn’t a fan. I also found a lot of the information to be quite repetitive and topics were covered several times.

Gemma did have a great way of explaining mental health and I did like some of her examples as they were very relatable…..but that’s about it. Overall, not a bad book but not something that really changed my life. I think she could do better writing an actual story than a self help book!

(loved the dolly alderton mention though)

[Em Carmichael · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Gemma Styles is not an expert in mental health, but I feel that is why I enjoyed this book as much as I did. She listens to the experts, while adding in her own experience. Gemma navigates each topic with grace and relatability, as well as with an understanding of how to 'dumb it down' for those of us who don't have a science degree. As someone who is in a period of poor mental health, I can't recommend this book enough. It made me understand some of why I think and feel the way I do, and reminded me that I'm not alone in these feelings. Thank you, Gemma!

[Amy McLellan · Rating 2 out of 5]

More of a psychology lesson rather than an insight into Gemma’s experience of ADHD, which I found disappointing.