One More Try (Library Edition): What to Do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart

by Gary Chapman

When doors slam and angry words fly, when things just aren't working out, and even when your spouse has destroyed your trust, there is hope. If you feel like your marriage is near the breaking point - even if you have already split up - Gary Chapman will show you how you can give your marriage one more try.
Separation does not necessarily mean divorce is imminent. Matter of fact, it's possible that separation may even lead to a restored, enriched, growing marriage. The outcome of this time of transition is determined solely by the individuals involved. If you're willing to make the most of that process, begin the journey with confidence as Gary walks you step-by-step towards healing and hope.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Relationships, Self Help, Christian, Personal Development, Christian Living

Audio CD

First published June 1, 2014

About the author

Gary Demonte Chapman is an American author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships.

Reviews

[drowningmermaid · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hi--

I'm a pop-Christian psych book with a lot of trite, pop-Christian answers to everything. Welcome to Christianland!

Are you looking for smug reassurance that 1960s American Christianity is, in fact, the eternal and final word of God, complete with remarriage-shaming and an unwillingness to "okay" divorce, even in the case of SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN by one partner? (Because hey, God hates divorce and THINK OF THE CHILDREN. Gotta keep those families together!)

Rest assured, in here you will find nothing new, not if you grew up attending an evangelical church, and nothing that sounds like the author has been anywhere close to a separation himself.

(Note: Chapman has written other, better and more widely-accessible books.)

[Mandy Abney · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are struggling in your marriage and think there is no hope, pick this up first! I will gift it to you! It's on me! I wish that I would have had this when my own marriage was in crisis! A must read for any couple that isn't, because more than likely you will face troubles at one point in your marriage. This really had me reflecting on who I was as a person and to stop looking at my spouse and start looking at my own flaws and what I could improve on to improve the marriage!

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

dis·ap·point·ment
/ˌdisəˈpointmənt/
noun
sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
synonyms: sadness, regret, dismay, sorrow;

I picked this one up hoping for a little guidance and possibly some tools to better handle the struggles you experience in marriage and I what I got was a shame-sermon that invalidated my "female complaints".

According to Chapman, a successful marriage is "born out of suffering, obedience, and a commitment to Jesus."

Husband cheated on you? Totally valid! Husband treating you badly? You surely must not be performing your wifely duties. Are you lonely, miserable, feeling empty and unloved? Here's a ton of scripture that conveys the many ways it's all in your head AND how it's making your man miserable and acting out. Husband beating you to the point of needing ER visits? Maybe you should make him a sammich instead of pissing him off. Husband drinks, gambles or does drugs? Shouldn't you be focused on helping him heal instead of complaining that he spent all of little Timmy's college money on the races or just shot up at Grandma's funeral?


HARD PASS!

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I've read close to all, if not all, of Chapman's books at this point. This was solid as I expected, but felt a bit broad, as some of the chapters were very specific to certain marital issues that aren't applicable to many couples.

[Jennyfurann · Rating 1 out of 5]

While I loved the five love languages, this book did nothing for me. It emphasizes god and I felt it was saying the Christian thing to do is stay in your marriage and Christian guilt should get you there. Nah. Maybe my interpretation is too rigid, but it wasn’t the right book for me at all. Finding your own path to deepening your connection with your significant other may be a better path. Codependent no more by Melody Beattie was much more effective for me to analyze my feelings and my relationship. Everyone has their own path - if you want to read this book, please do! Don’t let my review sway your opinion - go form your own! :)

[Bernd Schiffer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope. Could've been titled "What the bible has to say about a divorce". Put it down after 2% when I got lost in bible quotes. Would've given no rating (and not have picked up the book in the first place) if the book description would've mentioned anything about this book being about religious advice.

[Clarissa Allen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audio book. Solid read!

[AJourneyWithoutMap · Rating 5 out of 5]

The #1 New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series, Dr. Gary Demonte Chapman is a relationship counselor and the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Many couples have turned to him for building strong and happy relationships. And the book One More Try: What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart is written especially for those who are at the point of throwing in the towel saying, “I can’t take it anymore!”

In a world ravaged by brokenness and where dysfunctional family is more of a norm than an exception, confusion and chaos of untold proportions can knock on the door of one’s heart, ultimately leading to that inevitable question: Is it worth it? More often than not, sincere and friendly advice and tips can tilt the balance in the wrong direction. While there are the less than unusual ordinary ups and downs, some situations need expert advice and intervention.

In such a situation, One More Try: What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart by Gary Chapman will come in handy. As someone who has devoted the best years of his life helping countless people deal with their troubled relationships, he has offered sane, practical, insightful and thought-provoking lessons which will effectively help to deal with many relationships that are at the breaking point. Consider the chapters that he has so neatly formulated:
-What happened to our dream?
-How to start saving your marriage?
-Change yourself, change your marriage
-Turning to God
-Love is….
-Tough love
-Loneliness: “The deepest pit”
-“I’m so angry”
-Rebuilding
-And if it doesn’t work out…
-Facing the future

May be, your relationship is seemingly going through a smooth patch and you think such a book as this is not for you but one can never tell. One More Try: What to Do When Your Marriage Is Falling Apart by Gary Chapman will help you to be a better partner and parent. You can help others deal with their situations through this book. Reading this book will well be worth the investment. You can depend on Dr. Gary Chapman to give you the best possible advice when you finds yourself looking for answers!

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this book by audio 3 times. It has such good practical advice that I will go through it one more time and take notes now. Very relevant to a marriage in crisis and the steps to take to help it survive or to help the spouse left behind cope. Absolutely loved this book. Helped me understand the stages that were happening in my own marriage from both sides. Highly recommend this book!

[Frans Kempe · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book for couples to read before they are divorced but are having problems/separated. Healthy advice to think about and giving hope of reconciliation,that it is possible.

[Monica]

my husband of 20 years left me with kids 10 good months. all I do is cry. I imagine him being constantly with his mistress. And I cannot move forward because we need to be in touch because of the kids and feelings I have for him. when kids called me from his place i noticed he hung new pictures on the wall and I am more than sure these are her choices of art and she distributed them on the wall (he’s not very capable and creative). I was more heartbroken. for 10 months I crying like a baby seeking for help to restored my marriage and bring him back to me again. thank God for showing mercy through prophet munak who help me restored peace back once again in my home with his powerful love spell that removed the evil lady on way to be with what God has join together. today I enjoyed love of my husband I must appreciate prophet munak for all he has done to restore peace. I am also dropping his contact here for who also needed help in there marriage to contact him. holyprophet8@gmail.com Thanks mrs monica

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book, but meant for a Christian audience

I limited my review to just three stars because the book is truly meant for a Christian audience and I know that might not sit well with some people. Small references to scripture become paragraphs as to why you should be a good spouse and reconcile because of God and not because you should give your spouse a chance due to the love you still have for them. Nobody is perfect and Chapman does his best to let his audience know that through self healing and with a strong support system as well as a thirst to be better that there is a chance to reconcile.

I still enjoyed the book and appreciate the messages as there was still a lot to learn and take from every chapter. Regardless of your background, taking a step back to look at your marriage from another perspective never hurts and beats the pain you might experience from not fixing it.

[Wintermote · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated Chapman’s repeated encouragement in various places encouraging readers who need to deal further with the issue to seek out a “Pastor or qualified counselor”. Because yeah, there are a lot of issues that he talks about that definitely need professional help. I have to say that his assumptions about pastors training, willingness, and ability to provide intensive marriage counseling are really off-base for most congregations. I also have some significant issues with his chapter that deals with abuse and the complete lack of understanding that legal charges may need to be brought and legal consequences of illegal action may need to happen before reconciliation. I strongly believe in reconciliation and the need to preserve Christian marriage but it should not be reconciliation at all costs. Overall a nice solid book that inspires hope (while recognizing the hard road ahead)...although doesn’t address all possibilities/situations as I had hoped.

[Heather Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a therapist, I love Reading relationship books. They help me help my clients and they help me as a mother and wife! I love Gary Chapman and this book had some beautiful points. It also missed the mark for me in many areas. I think being that I was reading as someone non-separated, it was difficult for me to really understand. Although I am a Christian, a am not legalistic and many of the things he said although maybe they are Biblical, sounded unrealistic. Example, “take your spouse before the church and if they don’t comply, they are a non-Christian.” Really? What I did love is the premise that he states that separations can be reconciled and that there is always hope!

[Wafa Ouazeta · Rating 5 out of 5]

what happened to our Dream
houw to start saving your marriage
change yourself, change your marriage
turning to God
Love Is...
tough love
loneliness: the deepest pit
Im so Angry
Rebuilding
And If it doesnt wok out
Facing the future
I agree with Dr. Chapman that marriages "are either growing or diminishing. You must continue to do the kind of things that stimulate growth." Couples who are separated or on the brink of divorce should pick up this book, but even couples whose marriages are in good condition can glean some insights. And, like Dr. Chapman's other books, One More Try can be a great resource for pastors, counselors, and others who might counsel married couples, formally or informally.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!!

[Courtney Metts · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this book could be good for a certain target of readers. As a Christian myself looking for marriage advice this felt sort of "duh". I needed a little more depth on how to deal with recurring issues and maybe set boundaries and rebuild trust. To me this book really was for people who are on the cusp of divorce already... and it was trying to convince them to get right with god and not follow through with divorce. There was no real depth to how to approach the hard issues like deceit and mistrust.

[Prisca]

I caught my husband with his ex girlfriend. Recently, he has been distant unloving and disrespectful towards me. I had a feeling he was going to leave me in no time and he later did this was After 3 years of marriage, my husband left me and never returned. Thank God for given me courage to fight my battle through solution temple i saw on a blog ( solution temple. info ) which i will never forget anytime soon he has really done alot for me.

[Kate Cron · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was painful.
I'll save you some time:
Ladies, dont leave your husband. Join a Christian book club for friendship! God hates divorce. Did he cheat on you? You can forgive him! Did he beat you? Forgive him! Did he sexually abuse your children? YOU BETTER RECONCILE WITH HIM!

I enjoyed a book by this author I've read previously, but anyone who suggests reconciliation with a spouse who sexually abuses your children does not deserve a platform in which to speak.

[Calum Mackenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not sure this was the right book for us…most examples are geared towards separated couples or couples near that point…

There’s a a lot of wisdom and points to encourage/ teach but I did find myself skipping chunks.

If you ARE a Christian couple who have separated - I’d say this is 5/5…lots of practical ideas but if you’re like myself > there’s a few areas that you’re working on and want to strengthen your marriage, honour God through your marriage then other books might be better.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book about the importance of marriage, and why, though it may be harder, one should stay and work on the marriage instead of leaving. I had not read any other books by Gary Chapman other than the 5 Love Languages, so I wasn't expecting such a heavy dose of christianity. But overall it did provide things to think about.

[Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

A valuable resource for struggling marriages in learning about each individuals' words and actions - the underlying motivations, the interpretations and misinterpretations, and the impacts. It offers guidance on how to properly pursue restoring those relationships in appropriate and healthy ways while one works to improve their own personal life.

[Will McGuire · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish he would have marketed this one as religious. His other books all have religious tones and passages but are largely useful to anyone (and are fantastic). This one is almost all based on his religious doctrine and wasn't very useful for me. If you are religious, specifically any form of christian, you will enjoy this book though.

[Karla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Other reviews indicated a surprise- shouldn't be. This is as good as his other books. An approach that is accepting and forgiving, as is the journey. Growth assignments are helpful - not a magic potion- own it, and move in the direction that laid out. Have faith. Without it, there is no hope.

[Public Scott · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a non-religious person I found the pastor's constant entreaties to pray, read the bible, and go to church unhelpful. There are other insights to be gleaned, but if you're not religious, this book isn't for you.

[Stephen Z. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great examination of marriage from the protestant and secular point of view. Catholics may have a little trouble, but if they do it will only be because of the lack of Sacramental presentation.

[Nix Damon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh. I'm a Christian who reads Christian marriage books and this one was not helpful... Very surface, very disconnected from what it's really like to be in a gritty, heartrending situation. Definitely chauvinistic.

[Jake · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never been big on self-help books, but I think it's just because I've never been big on self-help. Or help. Anyway, every page of this felt like it was written directly to me. I'm very thankful for this book in the insights I've gained from going through it with an open mind and an open heart.

[Tanya Quirino · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a new christian and this book was extremely simplified and helpful to my situation. I have read a lot of marriage books which speak on advice but this is my favorite. The author is truthful even if the reality of situation may hurt. This I would also recommend it to non-Christians as it is not a dictatorial book

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

ok. too general for me.

[Erik Garcia Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing

This book took me out of limbo; thought me what real love means and how to live it. Strongly recommended at any stage of marriage.