Love is Stronger than Death: The Mystical Union of Two Souls

by Cynthia Bourgeault

"Ablaze with passion for the one essential task of the total inner transformation". —Brother David Stendl-Rast "Libraries offering titles on mysticism, inner transformation, or dealing with grief will find this a unique and welcome addition."— Library Journal This powerful book, written by an Episcopal priest, tells of her intense relationship with Brother Raphael Robin, a seventy-year-old Trappist monk and hermit. Both believed that a relationship can continue beyond this life, and here Cynthia Bourgeault describes her search for that connection before and after Robin's death. Bourgeault's previous books include The Wisdom Jesus and Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening .

Genres: Spirituality, Memoir, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Biography, Mysticism, Grief

248 pages, Paperback

First published November 11, 2014

About the author

Modern day mystic, Episcopal priest, writer, and internationally known retreat leader, Cynthia Bourgeault divides her time between solitude at her seaside hermitage in Maine, and a demanding schedule traveling globally to teach and spread the recovery of the Christian contemplative and Wisdom path.

She has been a long-time advocate of the meditative practice of Centering Prayer and has worked closely with fellow teachers and colleagues including Thomas Keating, Bruno Barnhart, and Richard Rohr. Cynthia has actively participated in numerous inter-spiritual dialogues and events with luminaries and leaders such as A.H. Almaas, Kabir Helminski, Swami Atmarupananda, and Rami Shapiro.

Cynthia is a member of the GPIW (Global Peace Initiative for Women) Contemplative Council and recipient of the 2014 Contemplative Voices award from Shalem Institute. She is a founding Director of both The Contemplative Society and the Aspen Wisdom School. She continues to contribute to The Contemplative Society in her role as Principal Teacher and advisor.

Cynthia is the author of eight books: The Holy Trinity and the Law of Three, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene, The Wisdom Jesus, Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, Mystical Hope, The Wisdom Way of Knowing, Chanting the Psalms, and Love is Stronger than Death. She has also authored or contributed to numerous articles on the Christian Wisdom path in publications such as Parabola Magazine, Gnosis Magazine, and Sewanee Theological Review.

Cynthia Bourgeault is currently one of the core faculty members at The Living School for Action and Contemplation.

from http://www.contemplative.org/cynthia-...

Reviews

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed by @jessacacia..... This book makes my heart burn as it invites me to 'a new way of seeing, beyond attachment.' I sit up in my chair as I read, 'Love calls forth the reality of the beloved, and the act of loving calls forth our own most authentic and dynamic center.'
..... Cynthia describes her relationship with Rafe, a hermit / monk. It was not sexual, it was not marriage, but it was deeply intimate. 'I tried to give it a shape, but it has no shape. All I can do is open my heart more and more deeply.' Their focus was 'plunging us both deeper and deeper into the mystery of Christ', conforming our will to the template of divine love, 'putting on the body of Christ.'
..... She makes a strong call to inner work, to growth and graft, 'to venture into that dark, black sea of what seems inexpressible absence', which is the beginning of finding eternal communion, which drives our union with another person.
…. As Cynthia and Rafe 'merged their wills in an effort to put the other first', this process is a practice. 'Abiding' in love means to keep growing and suffer all the growing pains, a continuous self-pruning, a purifying, facing shadows, relinquishing old patterns and agendas.
..... Why? To make room for something entirely new. Continuously new, they called it 'the deepening celebration'. 'We must be still and still moving / into another intensity / for a further union a deeper communion.'
..... I'm hearing accuracy and order about how to relate to another person, I find it extremely appealing. 'When I give my heart to my life with God, I become capable of letting go of the other person in hope... I enter into a new relationship with the person I have found and lost in which my heart is no longer divided.'
.....

[Amal · Rating 4 out of 5]

" The meetings or the walks that we have with the people in our life are very sacred, so let's take time and reflect on our connections with others. if you are someone who is interested in the meanings of relationships/connections here and after, this book is for you."

[Alison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give five stars to Cynthia's bold, brilliant, and beautiful personal story and theoretical exploration of the potential for connection, and continued relationship, between "individuals" in both the earthly and divine realms. What is compelling about this work is the combination of Cynthia Bourgeault's scholarly strength and the candid disclosures of her very human and vulnerable quest for love. She outlines with reassurance that erotic love can and is a vehicle and path to the depths and heights of divine love, and in the context of a Christian contemplative tradition. We are privy to literature and theory from other, specifically Eastern, traditions, of this ilk, but who has synthesized the more esoteric explorations of Christian mysticism to culminate into the realization of such a beautiful path to the Divine? No doubt of the controversy and accusations endured by Bourgeault after the publication of this book, but to me it illustrates that the path to the Divine is a very personal and unique journey; one based in faith, and therefore not truly subject to question. Who are we to doubt anyone's method of getting from here to There? If you are blessed enough to have the type of soul-love connection with another human being that Bourgeault speaks of, then you may interpret this work as both an explanation and a roadmap for deepening your bond to the point of eternal connection. And if not, then you may learn a lot about Christian mysticism and enjoy the rocky and poignant path of this unique love story.

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a hard, yet thought provoking book for me. My wife recently died after a valiant five year battle with throat cancer. In so many ways she is still my wife, I am still in relationship with her, I talk with her frequently, I am still learning from her, and still deeply in love with her. My longings and confusion run deep. But I am intrigued to explore this idea and potential for love and life after death.

I appreciate my therapist friend recommending as she has observed my conversation online.

[J. Narayan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cynthia Bourgeault is an electrifying speaker of what I call "the truth". With her finger in the God socket her language flow is elevated and uplifting. She nakedly tells the story of her mystical union. We see a duality through her eyes, the human struggle and the Divine Union. In her sharing the two become one.

[Stella · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The meaning and worth of love... is that it really forces us, with all our being, to acknowledge for another the same absolute central significance which, because of the power of our egotism, we are conscious of only in our own selves."
Vladimir Solovyov

This book is a true gem.
It is the second work I read by this author. After reading her book on Mary Magdalene I was left in absolute awe of the clarity of her writing, her ability to render such subtle and esoteric ideas, that to me tend to be utterly ineffable, into words that are so eloquent and accessible.

You know that feeling when you hear a lyric that just hits the spot perfectly, explaining something you've felt forever but never managed to put into a coherent sentence, and you think "thank you for putting this into words for me!"? That is exactly the feeling that this woman's writing has given me over and over again. But instead of on an emotional and experiential level (as a song lyric might do), on a purely existential and ontological one.

Cynthia Bourgeault's ability to speak of quintessential spiritual concepts and otherwise dangerously woo-woo topics is absolutely astounding to me, and just scratches some existential itches that I've had for the longest time.
Like, when something tickles so badly SOMEWHERE under the skin, but you cannot quite understand where exactly, so you somehow keep missing it and it seems to be nowhere, except you can clearly FEEL the itch so it literally is there? No? Just me?
Oh well.. the point here being is, that's what her writing does for me; she takes what feels ungraspable and makes it lucid, untangling a mess of inner wonderings into one clear line of clarity.

I have found that most spiritual books tend to be either overly simplistic or alternatively too ethereal and vague to have any relevance in real grounded life. Bourgeault is so skilled at bridging that gap! She manages to speak of the highest ideas/energies (forgive my lack of eloquence here, I struggle with putting any of this into words, and this is why I love her books so much!), without making them feel overly vague and senseless, whilst also making them super tangible and comprehensible.

What impressed me the most in her Magdalene book was how remarkably grounded she remained, while theorizing about otherwise super vague and speculative concepts. And in this book too, albeit the tone being quite different as she recounts a personal experience, she dares to bring out the boldest spiritual concepts without losing herself in them, without starry eyed delusion, without it getting weird truly.

And I find this so fitting and so perfect, as one of the concepts she stands firmly behind is that we are here, in this human life, not just to commune with the divine and "transcend" this state of being, but to do so without abandoning our 3D temporal selves. We are called to embrace BOTH divinity AND our full humanity. To focus too much on the spiritual at the detriment and 'despite of' or humanness completely misses the point.

There are so many beautiful and important key concepts in this book, too many to report all in one lil goodreads review. This is the type of book that you read once, go back to many more times throughout your life, and will come back to you even more times as you just live.

One of the main things that stood out to me, was how she described one episode that she went through with her beloved. My first reaction was to get extremely uncomfortable, and even got me judging it as "wow, that's toxic, not sure what this is doing here..". She even premised it herself, before writing about it, how she was hesitant and scared to share it at all because of how easily this can be misunderstood and not received well.
But my inner reaction was part of my own work, as you'll see so often being the case; my judgement and repulsion towards it was merely pointing at an unintegrated aspect/part of me.

I am glad that part was included, simply because it is so real and so relevant and I dare to say most people on earth struggle with such things. We quite literally need to globally learn how to deal with our ugly parts and ugly acts in a way that is conducive to healing and wholeness, rather than condemnation.

The lesson she draws from that unpretty episode, is perfectly explained in a few of these later passages (mind you, this applies to people on a path of conscious relating to one another, this does not apply to justify or approve of abusive or chronically toxic dynamics):

"it was not the best stuff in us but the worst that God transformed to make the new person. [...] It is our dross, reclaimed and purified by love"

"he deliberately used the work [...] as a tool for seeing and working on himself"

"what our spiritual practice was; it was basically that. In the friction of the work itself, and often in the friction of each other, we had to [...] reorient ourselves around the higher purposes we both claimed we were striving toward".

What I gathered from it, is that this is why we shouldn't avoid our "bad aspects" altogether, or even strive for them not to be there at all, as that is what that is at the end of the day: avoidance. If we have shadows (which as human beings, we all just do), they are bound to come out in one way or another. To try to make them not be there is pointless, and counteractive to the whole process of becoming conscious and building loving conscious relationships.
"The only way out is through", and together at that. The ugly parts are exactly the things that need to be transmuted into and by love, which cannot and simply will not happen by avoiding them.

I feel like I should place a billion disclaimers on this subject matter as it can so easily be misplaced and misinterpreted, but I figure that's what the entirety of "Love is Stronger than Death" has largely done. So I will not lol it's all there in this book's pages.

All in all, this book is a 4.5 to me (Goodreads, seriously, why can we still only give full star ratings? Explain it to me..), as this still feel like there was more that could have been covered and more that could have been explored.
Maybe it's that I'm a mercury ruled creature and there can never enough analysis of nuance and detail and tangents. Or maybe it's that a book is only ever one book, and it can never be all-encompassing, only a small bundle of chapters within the large story that is life. And it's okay like that :)

[John Vanderslice · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the more remarkable books I've ever read. The premise is that it is possible to keep a love relationship going and active, and real, and evolving, after one of the two people have died. On one hand, you might suspect this is crazy, especially when one of the two people is a celibate monk. But Bourgeault provides a lot of honest personal recollections in this book, as well as a great deal of theological and philosophical background to support what her heart's certain feeling. And she is certain.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Cynthia Bourgeault's story of her intimate relationship with her soul friend. a Benedictine monk and their exploration of relationships beyond death, i.e. eternal love. It's beautifully written and asks us to explore the boundaries between death and life. She uses writing from Jacob Boehme and G.I. Gurdjieff and others to help us understand the deep Christian mysticism involved in this thinking. I really enjoyed this book.

[Jenneffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recently discovering myself to be on a mystic journey, this book appeared at just the right time as I needed to read about God, faith, mysticism, humans, liturgy, monasticism, and love.

Swaying between philosophical, liturgical, and first-person narrative, this is a great combination of a book. It piqued my intellect, stretched my faith, and bore straight into my heart.

[Hemani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bourgeault is a must-have on any shelf for seekers of the great mysteries. A preeminent mystic for our time.

[Elaine Flynn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very philosophical! Maybe over my head. I stopped reading it

[Lloyd P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

My number one resource in dealing with my wife's death. Real corroboration of the Communion of Saints.

[katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating story of love. Part philosophy/theology of love, part lived narrative. I wish there were more of the latter.

[Becky Lougee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating and thought-provoking. It continues to nag at me.

[Brian Wilcox · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this superb, intimate portrayal of a love between a monk and the author, never consummated sexually or in any statement of romantic commitment, and transcending the limits of death of the physical body, about a decade before becoming a Hospice Chaplain. I find its positive treatment of life, death, and beyond, as well as the power of love, witnessed in much of my work with the dying. This love between the author and her beloved includes in its embrace elements of what could be called friendship, spiritual, and romantic affections.

The book raises several questions - among them... Can two persons be so intimate that communication between them exists beyond the threshold of death of the body? Is there life beyond death? Does love survive death? Does identifiable personhood survive death?

Possibly what is most amazing is this is a bold treatment of these matters by an Episcopal priest, and treated in a way unlike how I have seen the matter addressed in any Christian context. As an interspiritual Christian and like contemplative to the author, I was encouraged to see her leap out beyond traditional Church teachings on death - though not in conflict with them necessarily - , and do so as a Christian, without apology or needing to justify her conclusions from Church teaching.

However, the book does not answer all the questions we might wish, even as NDE accounts do not. NDE accounts and this book could be used, and wrongly, to seek to prove a certainty about matters that remain a mystery to us. Thankfully, the author does not make dogmatic statements outside the range of her experience and the intent of the book. For example, the companion of the author apparently did continue intimate - nonverbal - dialogue, or manifestation to - the author. Many persons experience this after the loss of a loved one. Yet, as with Tibetan Buddhist teachings on death and the bardos, this could represent a temporary, transitional phase - even if that were a long time in our sense of time. So, do we as we survive death? The book cannot answer such questions, even as it cannot locate for us the ultimate meaning of death or when death actually occurs. Does death occur, as science states? Or is death a process continuing beyond bodily functioning?

The book is more an autobiographical memoir, mixed with theory - comparable in form to Ken Wilber's Grace and Grit - than religious, scientific, or spiritual, and utilizes some esoteric traditions to speak to the experience of the author. Due to her objective treatment of the matter, without recourse to need to support her findings through specifically sectarian religious dogma, the book will appeal to persons of varied religious faiths or no religious faith. The book, furthermore, can challenge materialists who easily deny that what we call death is the end, period. Likewise, it can challenge persons who have their assemblage of religious answers to this matter of death and after. Possibly, the book will challenge us to see that the greater mystery is not life or death, but love.

[Stephanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

It is with sincere regret that I must rate this book negatively .

The book had many enjoyable elements - an engrossing, touching story of a love so strong it continued beyond the grave and the continuous faith in her experiences it took for the author to walk that path and hold to what she knew to be true despite the societal pressure one almost inevitably encounters after a death involving the grieving process and the urgings of well meaning friends and family for her to "let go" of her love and to " move on".

I'm a true believer in life after death and of communication from beyond the grave so I applaud the author for being willing to be so publicly open and honest about an experience that would have most labeling her "crazy" at worst,"delusional" at best.

My enjoyment of this book was completely ruined by by the author's statement that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were a couple and that he was her beloved.
This goes against the very foundation of my religious beliefs and I find that amazingly offensive.

The author stated it not only once but twice making it impossible for me to ignore.

I imagine that most with any sort of traditional Christian beliefs would be offended by that as well as it goes against the total purity and innocence of the spotless, sinless Lamb Jesus by casting him as at least somewhat of a carnal being.

Such statements by the author( I'm aware that she is not the only one who has such a belief) ruined a book for me that I might otherwise have taken away some spiritual lessons from.

And thats a shame as I was hoping to gain much from its reading.

[Peter Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

The journey that this book describes is intimate and personal. Indeed, it is a powerful and moving account that is so engrossing that I shall reveal little of its finer details here for fear of spoiling this unique reading experience for others.

However, I can say that this is an utterly delightful, heart-warming and transformative read—one that captures your sensibilities and draws you onwards; a story to become engaged with and to allow to wash through your spirit

Anyone who has had the privilege of experiencing any sort of entwining of spiritual energies with a Soul partner will immediately identify with the emotive expressions that pour forth from these pages via the author’s pen. However, the book offers more than a comfortable foray into cozy sentimentality for herein resides a journey that enters deep metaphysical terrain: one that to a degree is largely overseen by Gurdjieff’s Fourth Way philosophy as well as by esoteric Christianity.

Love is Stronger than Death is a heart-warming and captivating work which I firmly believe will be treasured and deeply valued by many generations to come.

[J. Ewbank · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting book. I am not a mystic, but have been interested in the experiences of mystics in the Christian religion. I'm one of the mainline church members who is pretty much orthodox (see my book titles). It is interesting to me to see how others respond to Christ and their experiences with him. This book spends more time in trying to understand the love relationship between people and their possible connection if one is here and one has died. An interesting concept. Most of us believe in prayer and surely prayer can be made for those who have died but this is a little different in that she talks about a special relationship which is possible between those who love another (not necessarily physical or sexual). Interesting, but not my cup of tea.

J. Robert Ewbank author "John Wesley, Natural Man, and the Isms" "Wesley's Wars" and "To Whom It May Concern"

[Cabracrazy18 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Won through Librarything's early reviewers giveaway. This book attempts to explain a mystical union between an Episcopal priest and a Trappist monk. If you have ever sensed something when you are deep within your own mind and heart that you can't explain; discovered truths within yourself that others wouldn't understand, you will understand what Cynthia Bourgeault is attempting to do with this book. This is an intense and heavy read that somehow goes quickly with many whole passages worthy of underlining and referencing. I would recommend this book to anyone who is open-minded and/or spiritual.

[jacqs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated her perspective on the afterlife according to Christian mystics, especially about the Terror and beauty and love. I always appreciate personal anecdotes about experiencing a loved one's spirit in a clear way. Unfortunately, she seems to withhold the most intense encounters with his spirit, as being too personal. Thus, I was left a little disappointed by the absence of real substance.

[Marsha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learned a lot about who we think we are as against our limitless self. Well written. Leaves out what the implications of her experience might mean to those of us who haven't had such a soul mate kind of experience. What is really true about our time here on earth? What is a true friend. Tell me what you think

[Alan Kuntz]

This Lady is a dumbass She is in contact with rafe in the astral and she's a contemplative teacher. what freaking Poppycock. She's a nut you can't get along with men in the relative field of existence so she's going to conjure them up and teach you to as well... this is pathetic

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Helpful

Lovingly written. I found much wisdom and comfort in dealing with the passing of a very special friend. I would recommend to those who have deep love and commitment along with faith in God.

[Jenny Wehinger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to go back and finishe this one - it was due!!

[Ann Debaldo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful story of two souls...meeting and loving and working together...beyond death.

[Bethdwyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very incredible book. So many connections!