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A Very French Affair
A transcontinental, romantic memoir in the vein of A Year in Provence and Eat, Pray, Love.
What do you say when a man you've dated a handful of times asks you to go live with him in a mill by a river in France? The obvious answer 'Are you out of your mind?' Maria Hoyle's 'Okay.'
At the age of 63 she left her life in Auckland - her two daughters, her dog, her friends, a beautiful rental by a beach, and everything she'd loved for more than two decades - to settle in a tiny French village with a partner she barely knew. What could possibly go wrong?
Maria arrived in the remote hamlet with trepidation but also a little bravado - after all, with a degree in French, she was confident about communicating with the locals. And yes - that part was mostly fine (apart from some amusing faux pas). The true challenges were learning to communicate with her new partner, Alistair (they were smitten with each other, but also sitting on a pile of baggage and emotional wounds) and adapting to life in rural France when her idea of a great day out was shopping, lunch in a bustling café and a movie.
Does Maria have it in her to persevere? To make good friends and truly feel at home? Crucially, is she making another terrible romantic mistake - or is she finally growing and learning what it means to move beyond the infatuation stage and make a relationship work?
Maria's tale is about grabbing life with both hands whatever your age, what it means to belong, the joys and frustrations of French living, and why you should always look closely at a map before emigrating. Ultimately, though, it is a story about the greatest adventure of all. Love.
What do you say when a man you've dated a handful of times asks you to go live with him in a mill by a river in France? The obvious answer 'Are you out of your mind?' Maria Hoyle's 'Okay.'
At the age of 63 she left her life in Auckland - her two daughters, her dog, her friends, a beautiful rental by a beach, and everything she'd loved for more than two decades - to settle in a tiny French village with a partner she barely knew. What could possibly go wrong?
Maria arrived in the remote hamlet with trepidation but also a little bravado - after all, with a degree in French, she was confident about communicating with the locals. And yes - that part was mostly fine (apart from some amusing faux pas). The true challenges were learning to communicate with her new partner, Alistair (they were smitten with each other, but also sitting on a pile of baggage and emotional wounds) and adapting to life in rural France when her idea of a great day out was shopping, lunch in a bustling café and a movie.
Does Maria have it in her to persevere? To make good friends and truly feel at home? Crucially, is she making another terrible romantic mistake - or is she finally growing and learning what it means to move beyond the infatuation stage and make a relationship work?
Maria's tale is about grabbing life with both hands whatever your age, what it means to belong, the joys and frustrations of French living, and why you should always look closely at a map before emigrating. Ultimately, though, it is a story about the greatest adventure of all. Love.
- GenresMemoirNonfiction
288 pages, Paperback
Published January 1, 2025
8 people are currently reading
57 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
May 3, 2025
A sweet story
August 20, 2024
**moving to France stat.
September 7, 2024
Fantastic memoir of a “it’s never too late” adventure for love and new beginnings! Full of humour, pathos, hope and self reflection, this is a story that fill you with the realisation that life can be magical and chaotic and not end up how you think or plan but it’s all worth it regardless. Highly recommended as a read and perfect for the big screen!
May 19, 2025
You're a woman of a certain age (63), a Kiwi who tentatively tries out online dating. Meet up with Alistair who, after two enjoyable weekends together, asks if you'd like to join him in his converted water-mill in rural France. Would you say, 'Yes!'? Well, as the title of the book suggests, Maria Hoyle threw caution to the wind and did, indeed, say yes.
The book cover depicts a very upbeat picture: a sunny landscape filled with colour with an attractive dark haired women, hair (straightened, we learn) blowing in the wind, driving a Citroen 2CV, iconic to the French but to 'drive, she is an absolute bitch'. Capturing both the fantasy the author had conjured up in her mind and the reality of of her life and times living with Alistair in France.
Working as a copywriter, Maria could speak 'rusty French', had studied French at Manchester (UK) University, at 19 had worked as an au pair in Paris and was a self-confessed Francophile. Divorced for 7 years, she had traversed quite a few all-ends-in-tears relationships, was mother to 2 lovely daughters in their 20s, owned a whippet, was blessed with lots of (true) friends and loved her adopted (from England) country of New Zealand; Auckland was home. She was sacrificing a lot to live with a man she barely knew but with whom she'd felt an immediate, reciprocal connection: 'He exuded curiosity and dynamism, and I felt that in his company I could expand not shrink, as I aged.'.
Alistair was tall, bear-like, possessing an 'exceptionally pleasant baritone' and was extremely capable. With a background in civil engineering and computer science, he'd had a career in project-management and seemed able to turn his hand to anything: 'He constantly has projects on the go. Creating a timer device for the old dishwasher so it whirrs into action at midnight on the dot. Converting the 2CV to run on ethanol instead of petrol'.
This is a man who 'can sail, horse-ride, snowboard and ski......and he's an expert white-water rafter'. Alistair also possesses a passion for speed; 'motorbike racing and rally-car driving have been a big part of his life, and burning up fuel and rubber is his idea of a splendid day out'. Innumerable vehicles are housed under the mill and unidentifiable car/machine parts spread across the dining table (oh dear!). His previous long-standing relationship with Sarah had ended on her death from cancer.
It's summer when Maria arrives at the mill and in many ways it's idyllic: 'The moulin sits alongside the beautiful River Vienne....and this tumbling mass of water is a godsend. When the mercury hits the thirties, I pop on my water shoes and carefully descend the rough stone steps into the cool water. The current nags at me as it roars past the mill, but it's only kidding.....as I make my way further in, it becomes calm again. Even the stones are hospitable, flat and wide like moss-covered ottomans'. And 'Our favourite route [on e-mountain bikes] is along kilometres of disused railway track.....now overgrown with grass and covered with a crisp layer of leaves; it's crunchy and golden, like pedalling over a giant bowl of cornflakes.'
But it's also not easy. Auckland is hardly a metropolis but this is La France profonde composed of small villages with a scattering of neighbours; there are new customs and culture to fathom, French language fluency to develop, people to get to know and decisions for Maria about how to structure her days.......as well as a new relationship to navigate. Would Maria find herself or find herself all at sea?
Maria's ventures and adventures are told with vivacity and humour, often self-deprecating. Cue: cultural differences and protocols (throwing a birthday party for Alistair, Maria had prepared a banquet of food arranged on tables but no one is eating; it takes a French guest to size up the situation and announce 'a table' before the company relax and dig in), her increasing familiarity with the language (the difference between a riviere and a fleuve, coucou meaning hi addressed to nearest and familiars, enjoliveur translates not something pretty but a hub cap, pinot 'is a local brew of champagne and brandy'), the primacy of food (bon appetit is no casual expression but 'a most sincere wish'. As the local medical centre was closing for lunch all the departing patients wished the nurse and doctors 'bon appetit'). How life is lived in rural France makes for fascinating reading especially if the reader is a bit of a Francophile her/himself.
But, central to 'A Very French Affair' is the relationship between Maria and Alistair. They are both good, well-intentioned people with a bond that - overall - increases over the year span of the book. However, more often, their relationship is marked and marred by regular, sudden misunderstandings. Almost right from the start Maria often feels insecure (all those failed past relationships), uncertain about their relationship and whether it will last. Some part of this lies in Maria simply missing her Auckland home (not in the sense of a house but more of the feeling of home or, to use a Maori term, turangawaewae - 'a place to stand'/belong embracing the meaning of people, place and heritage); another part is loneliness - it takes an effort to make new friends in an unfamiliar environment. Anther niggle is her financial dependence on Alistair though he's happy to pay and, to top it all, the 4 hours a day remote work tails off to dribs and drabs.
While there's a closeness between the pair they are very different people, not just in terms of interests but temperamentally. Alistair is the pragmatic, practical engineer; Maria is guided more by her emotions (her heritage is part Latin American). One moment they are getting along swimmingly, the next there's a row. It's Maria who decides to solve this problem or misalignment by doing the heavy lifting: leaning in to Alistair's interests (riding pillion on his speedy bike, accompanying him to Le Mans, helping him shift an old carriage - 'a decrepit wooden affair' with 'huge wheels, rudimentary spring suspension, and a wooden seat for two' rescuing it from rolling down the hill)'. All this is not about being a man pleaser, subsuming her needs to his, but rather about self-development- challenging herself step outside her comfort zone. The question is: can their mutual regard, respect, closeness and willingness to compromise win out in the end?
This anatomy of a relationship raises the book above other books centred on women who seek novelty, experience and love in another and foreign culture. Where the book also excels is in the quality of Hoyle's writing whether its her observations of people, places and events or her introspective examination of her and Alistair's relationship:
* '...my past was littered with dashed hopes and failed romances....ex, ex, ex, ex, ex, ex - like a row
of cold kisses '
* French language immersion: '...over time you recognise the shapes of the sounds, attach meaning
to them and finally, one day, you begin to pick them up and make them your own, a new word
popped into your repertoire ins a wonderful thing'
* Nostalgia for home: '....when I loaded up my old Nissan and the 5 of us - my girls, the dog and
my elder daughter's boyfriend and me - headed excitedly to a old weatherboard house at Piha
Beach. It was a hop, skip and a lose-your-jandal from the sand dunes..'
* The mill, cold in winter; 'The living room's floor-to-ceiling windows are single-glazed, and the
cold walzes right in and breathes maliciously down our necks.'
Nicky Pellegrino has deservedly cornered the New Zealand market with her well-crafted romantic fiction about women of a certain age who find love in Italy. Hoyle's story is not fiction; she tells it like it really is or was for her in this fluent, self-deprecating, often funny and always honest book. She's clearly stronger than she imagines she is. Maria the Brave, she termed herself on deciding to make a new life for herself in France. Indeed she is. Highly recommended! 5 etoiles.
The book cover depicts a very upbeat picture: a sunny landscape filled with colour with an attractive dark haired women, hair (straightened, we learn) blowing in the wind, driving a Citroen 2CV, iconic to the French but to 'drive, she is an absolute bitch'. Capturing both the fantasy the author had conjured up in her mind and the reality of of her life and times living with Alistair in France.
Working as a copywriter, Maria could speak 'rusty French', had studied French at Manchester (UK) University, at 19 had worked as an au pair in Paris and was a self-confessed Francophile. Divorced for 7 years, she had traversed quite a few all-ends-in-tears relationships, was mother to 2 lovely daughters in their 20s, owned a whippet, was blessed with lots of (true) friends and loved her adopted (from England) country of New Zealand; Auckland was home. She was sacrificing a lot to live with a man she barely knew but with whom she'd felt an immediate, reciprocal connection: 'He exuded curiosity and dynamism, and I felt that in his company I could expand not shrink, as I aged.'.
Alistair was tall, bear-like, possessing an 'exceptionally pleasant baritone' and was extremely capable. With a background in civil engineering and computer science, he'd had a career in project-management and seemed able to turn his hand to anything: 'He constantly has projects on the go. Creating a timer device for the old dishwasher so it whirrs into action at midnight on the dot. Converting the 2CV to run on ethanol instead of petrol'.
This is a man who 'can sail, horse-ride, snowboard and ski......and he's an expert white-water rafter'. Alistair also possesses a passion for speed; 'motorbike racing and rally-car driving have been a big part of his life, and burning up fuel and rubber is his idea of a splendid day out'. Innumerable vehicles are housed under the mill and unidentifiable car/machine parts spread across the dining table (oh dear!). His previous long-standing relationship with Sarah had ended on her death from cancer.
It's summer when Maria arrives at the mill and in many ways it's idyllic: 'The moulin sits alongside the beautiful River Vienne....and this tumbling mass of water is a godsend. When the mercury hits the thirties, I pop on my water shoes and carefully descend the rough stone steps into the cool water. The current nags at me as it roars past the mill, but it's only kidding.....as I make my way further in, it becomes calm again. Even the stones are hospitable, flat and wide like moss-covered ottomans'. And 'Our favourite route [on e-mountain bikes] is along kilometres of disused railway track.....now overgrown with grass and covered with a crisp layer of leaves; it's crunchy and golden, like pedalling over a giant bowl of cornflakes.'
But it's also not easy. Auckland is hardly a metropolis but this is La France profonde composed of small villages with a scattering of neighbours; there are new customs and culture to fathom, French language fluency to develop, people to get to know and decisions for Maria about how to structure her days.......as well as a new relationship to navigate. Would Maria find herself or find herself all at sea?
Maria's ventures and adventures are told with vivacity and humour, often self-deprecating. Cue: cultural differences and protocols (throwing a birthday party for Alistair, Maria had prepared a banquet of food arranged on tables but no one is eating; it takes a French guest to size up the situation and announce 'a table' before the company relax and dig in), her increasing familiarity with the language (the difference between a riviere and a fleuve, coucou meaning hi addressed to nearest and familiars, enjoliveur translates not something pretty but a hub cap, pinot 'is a local brew of champagne and brandy'), the primacy of food (bon appetit is no casual expression but 'a most sincere wish'. As the local medical centre was closing for lunch all the departing patients wished the nurse and doctors 'bon appetit'). How life is lived in rural France makes for fascinating reading especially if the reader is a bit of a Francophile her/himself.
But, central to 'A Very French Affair' is the relationship between Maria and Alistair. They are both good, well-intentioned people with a bond that - overall - increases over the year span of the book. However, more often, their relationship is marked and marred by regular, sudden misunderstandings. Almost right from the start Maria often feels insecure (all those failed past relationships), uncertain about their relationship and whether it will last. Some part of this lies in Maria simply missing her Auckland home (not in the sense of a house but more of the feeling of home or, to use a Maori term, turangawaewae - 'a place to stand'/belong embracing the meaning of people, place and heritage); another part is loneliness - it takes an effort to make new friends in an unfamiliar environment. Anther niggle is her financial dependence on Alistair though he's happy to pay and, to top it all, the 4 hours a day remote work tails off to dribs and drabs.
While there's a closeness between the pair they are very different people, not just in terms of interests but temperamentally. Alistair is the pragmatic, practical engineer; Maria is guided more by her emotions (her heritage is part Latin American). One moment they are getting along swimmingly, the next there's a row. It's Maria who decides to solve this problem or misalignment by doing the heavy lifting: leaning in to Alistair's interests (riding pillion on his speedy bike, accompanying him to Le Mans, helping him shift an old carriage - 'a decrepit wooden affair' with 'huge wheels, rudimentary spring suspension, and a wooden seat for two' rescuing it from rolling down the hill)'. All this is not about being a man pleaser, subsuming her needs to his, but rather about self-development- challenging herself step outside her comfort zone. The question is: can their mutual regard, respect, closeness and willingness to compromise win out in the end?
This anatomy of a relationship raises the book above other books centred on women who seek novelty, experience and love in another and foreign culture. Where the book also excels is in the quality of Hoyle's writing whether its her observations of people, places and events or her introspective examination of her and Alistair's relationship:
* '...my past was littered with dashed hopes and failed romances....ex, ex, ex, ex, ex, ex - like a row
of cold kisses '
* French language immersion: '...over time you recognise the shapes of the sounds, attach meaning
to them and finally, one day, you begin to pick them up and make them your own, a new word
popped into your repertoire ins a wonderful thing'
* Nostalgia for home: '....when I loaded up my old Nissan and the 5 of us - my girls, the dog and
my elder daughter's boyfriend and me - headed excitedly to a old weatherboard house at Piha
Beach. It was a hop, skip and a lose-your-jandal from the sand dunes..'
* The mill, cold in winter; 'The living room's floor-to-ceiling windows are single-glazed, and the
cold walzes right in and breathes maliciously down our necks.'
Nicky Pellegrino has deservedly cornered the New Zealand market with her well-crafted romantic fiction about women of a certain age who find love in Italy. Hoyle's story is not fiction; she tells it like it really is or was for her in this fluent, self-deprecating, often funny and always honest book. She's clearly stronger than she imagines she is. Maria the Brave, she termed herself on deciding to make a new life for herself in France. Indeed she is. Highly recommended! 5 etoiles.
March 8, 2025
As I live in Auckland and have a passion for things French I was keen to read this book about a woman in her 60s who leaves New Zealand to live with a relative stranger in France. It was entertaining but I did become a little impatient with Maria who seemed to want to have her gateau and eat it too. Admittedly she did seem to be aware that the situation was fraught with challenges and she deserves credit for her efforts to make it work.
November 30, 2024
Thoroughly enjoyed this book. I love books about people who take a gamble and move to other parts of the world as New Zealand woman Maria Hoyle did in this case with her move to France. This book is light, funny in parts but thought provoking too.
May 12, 2025
I’ve just finished reading Maria Hoyle’s book. “A very French affair”. I absolutely loved it!!
I really enjoyed her intelligent and eloquent writing style. Her pithy one liners , and ‘tres amusant’ metaphors and analogies had me frequently laughing out loud, but it is also a searingly open, honest and self deprecating sharing of her emotions and feelings, at that time.
It made it even more personal to me that I know a number of the places referenced!
It will appeal to francophiles and linguaphiles! ( of which I am one! ).
A sample of the opening chapters, is in the link below. If you like it, buy it! ❤️
( NOTE - Do not confuse with a book, with the same title , by Sue Roberts, also on Amazon!)
https://read.amazon.co.uk/sample/B0D1...
I really enjoyed her intelligent and eloquent writing style. Her pithy one liners , and ‘tres amusant’ metaphors and analogies had me frequently laughing out loud, but it is also a searingly open, honest and self deprecating sharing of her emotions and feelings, at that time.
It made it even more personal to me that I know a number of the places referenced!
It will appeal to francophiles and linguaphiles! ( of which I am one! ).
A sample of the opening chapters, is in the link below. If you like it, buy it! ❤️
( NOTE - Do not confuse with a book, with the same title , by Sue Roberts, also on Amazon!)
https://read.amazon.co.uk/sample/B0D1...
February 13, 2025
This is an honest account of moving across the world for love. I bought it because I am planning to visit France and thought it would be a fun read. I did love all the sensory detail about France - the beautiful countryside, delicious food and interesting people. I could almost taste the endless baguettes the author was picking up at the boulangerie. Well-written but ultimately it didn't touch my heart as much as I thought it would. Would recommend if you like France or travel memoirs.
October 2, 2024
This is one women's account from living in NZ to living in France following a man she's known briefly on a dating app leaving her dog and her adult daughters behind to live in a mill house on the french riviera but they are still getting to know each other and misunderstandings occur frequently plus she needs a steady stream of money. France is history and it's beautiful but is it enough??
August 28, 2025
I really enjoyed this book, a good lesson that things dont always turn out how we hope, and people aren't always what we dream they might be. Although "Alistair" seems like a piece of work... I thought the author did well to speak on his positives. Is that his review down below? lol 🤔
Read
September 8, 2024Book about toxic relationships.
October 4, 2024
Loved this book. Maria has a way with words, taking you on a journey to rural France and to the depths of the human spirit. She discovers what it means to love, take risks, and to belong.
December 3, 2024
Lovely writing but I became bored. Nothing much was happening. Did not finish.
December 6, 2024
What happens when a woman with BPD moves her life to another country.. The chaos unfolds gracefully (in the text at least )
December 24, 2024
Amusing holiday read
January 25, 2025
I think it was sad that it didn't work out
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 7, 2025
A lovely light holiday read. I enjoyed Maria’s writing style and loved reading along on her French adventure.
Read
May 6, 2025Cute, easy book. Seems like a lovely life in France.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews