I Am the Swarm

by Hayley Chewins

A propulsive YA novel in verse that blends the contemporary magic of Jandy Nelson with the simmering feminist rage of Laurie Halse Anderson’s Shout

As far back as anyone can remember, the women of the Strand family have been magical.

Their gifts manifest when they each turn fifteen, always in different ways. But Nell Strand knows that her family's magic is a curse. Her mother’s age changes every day; she's often too young to be the mother Nell needs. Her older sister bleeds music and will do anything to release the songs inside her. Nell sees the way magic rips her family apart again and again.

When Nell’s own magic arrives in the form of ladybugs alighting on the keys of her beloved piano, the first thing she feels is joy. The ladybugs are a piece of her, a harmless and delicate manifestation of her creativity. But soon enough, the rest come. Thick-shelled glossy beetles that creep along her collarbone when her piano teacher stares at her. Soft gray moths that appear and die alongside a rush of disappointment. Worst of all are the wasps. It doesn’t matter how deep she buries her rage, the wasps always come. Nell will have to decide just how much of herself she’s willing to lock away to stop them—or if she can find the strength to feel, no matter the consequences.

An intense, emotional read simmering with rage and magic, I Am the Swarm is a captivating YA novel in verse that beautifully speaks to the complicated nature of growing up as a girl.

Genres: Fantasy, Young Adult, Poetry, Magical Realism, Fiction, Audiobook, Mental Health

336 pages, Hardcover

First published March 25, 2025

About the author

Hayley Chewins is an award-winning author of middle grade fantasy and a published poet. Her debut novel, THE TURNAWAY GIRLS (Candlewick, 2018), received starred reviews from Kirkus and Publishers Weekly, and was named a Kirkus Best Book of 2018 as well as a 2019 Amelia Bloomer List pick. Her second novel, THE SISTERS OF STRAYGARDEN PLACE (Candlewick, 2020), also received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Kirkus, and was chosen as the 2020 Foreword Indies Gold Winner for Juvenile Fiction and an Amazon Best Book of the Month. Hayley is also the author of LOKI: SEASON ONE NOVEL (Marvel Press, 2023), a middle grade novelization of Marvel's LOKI television show, starring Tom Hiddleston. Her YA debut, I AM THE SWARM, is forthcoming from Viking Children's in 2025. Hayley lives with her family in Johannesburg, South Africa. She is the co-host, with Lindsay Eager, of the Story of the Book podcast, where she interviews authors about their publishing journeys. When she isn't writing books, Hayley sings and writes music for her alt-pop band with Alejandro Zarazua, EIGHT THOUSAND BIRDS.

Reviews

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This heartfelt and evocative YA fantasy is a poetic journey of self-discovery, beautifully enhanced with magical realism while addressing mental health, physical abuse, and parental neglect.

The lyrical writing, emotional depth, and heartbreaking story of Nell—a young girl trapped in a home where her sister Mori struggles with suicidal tendencies, her mother battles depression while neglecting her responsibilities, and her father immerses himself in work to avoid confronting their issues—create a poignant narrative. With Mori now in a clinic undergoing much-needed treatment, and their strained relationship adding to the tension, Nell is forced to confront her long-buried feelings as she grapples with being invisible to those around her. She longs to be seen and heard, to express her love, fear, resentment, and especially the anger she has kept hidden for years. The wasps she releases symbolize her inner screams, reflecting the pain she has suppressed.

The struggles of the Strand women and their years-long battles with mental health are masterfully portrayed through symbolism and magical powers. Yet, the story also offers hope, showing how one can navigate personal struggles and embrace their own flaws, strengths, and vulnerabilities. In the end, the scars we bear and the pain we endure make us stronger, setting us apart, as long as we find our voice and "speak" our truth.

I loved this emotional and powerful journey—it moved me to tears and touched the deepest parts of my soul with its raw beauty. It's a pure and unique story that readers must experience for themselves.

Many thanks to NetGalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group | Viking Books for Young Readers for providing this intense YA fantasy fiction's digital reviewer copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.

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[fer bañuelos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gracias Netgalley por una copia avanzada de este libro!

I Am The Swarm es un libro que me cautivó con su premisa. En la familia de Nell todas las mujeres adquieren algún tipo de magia cuando cumplen los 15. En su caso, sus emociones se manifiestan a través de insectos. Catarinas cuando está feliz. Avispas cuando siente enojo. Un enjambre vive dentro de ella.

Nell no sabe que hacer con su magia. Su hermana Mora sangra música, su madre cada día tiene una edad diferente, y muchas veces esta magia parece más una maldición que bendición. Agréguenle las tribulaciones de la adolescencia y de la experiencia femenina. La protagonista está en un proceso de catarsis, y la seguimos durante este cambio radical en su vida a través de un libro contado en verso.

Siento que la historia tiene tantos elementos alegóricos en su trama. La autora, a pesar de dejar muy claro que este libro tiene elementos de realismo mágico, hace un excelente trabajo manteniendo la linea borrosa, para que tu como lector puedas determinar el significado de las cosas. Es un libro precioso en cuanto a narrativa: la pluma de Haykey Chewins se combina perfectamente con los elementos naturales de la historia. Casi como una fábula.

Aunque me parece que algunas cosas quedaron sin desarrollarse por completo, esto gracias al formato del libro. Cuando narras en verso obviamente sacrificas ciertas descripciones y ciertos puntos que (por la cantidad de palabras) no se profundizan tanto como tal vez me hubiera gustado, pero quede satisfecho en general con esta historia.

Gran libro, gran portada y muy diferente a todo lo que he leído. Me encantaría que la autora siguiera explorando este tipo de historias.

---

Thank you Netgalley for an advanced copy of this book!

I Am The Swarm is a book that captivated me with it's premise. In Nell's family all the women acquire some kind of magic when they turn 15. In her case, her emotions manifest through insects. Ladybugs when she's happy. Wasps when she's angry. A swarm lives inside her.

Nell doesn't know what to do with her magic. Her sister Mora bleeds music, her mother is a different age every day, and many times this magic seems more like a curse than a blessing. Add to that the trials and tribulations of adolescence and the female experience. The protagonist is in a process of catharsis, and we follow her through this radical change in her life through a book told in verse.

I feel like the story has so many allegorical elements in its plot. The author, despite making it very clear that this book has elements of magical realism, does an excellent job of keeping the line blurred, so that you as a reader can determine the meaning of certain elements. The deeper meaning if you will. It is a beautiful book in terms of narrative: Haykey Chewins' pen blends perfectly with the natural elements of the story. Almost like a fable.

Although it seems to me that some things were left undeveloped completely, this is thanks to the format of the book. When you narrate in verse you obviously sacrifice certain descriptions and certain points that (due to the number of words) are not explored as deeply as I would have liked, but I was satisfied overall with this story.

This is a story of womanhood, family dynamics (both good and bad) and the experience of growing up, becoming your own person, when everything else in your life seems wrong.

Great book, great cover and very different from anything I have read. I would love for the author to continue exploring this type of stories.

[gabs ⛤ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.85⭐️ really short read, didn’t really have time to think while reading it
it’s written in verse and anyone could read it in less than an hour but overall it was very very good

[C · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book #585
3 ⭐️

Okay so this book cover really caught my eye so that is why i picked it up it’s so beautiful with all the butterflies. So lets start this review i will say it was a quick read in the aspect of how the writing was the pages were super short and i will say i did enjoy the writing i thought it was good and i also thought the insects and the detail of them when they came out in the novel it was cool and an interesting concept however i think this book was just a miss for me it was not a bad book at all just thought it was a little all over the place and jumped around a bit too much.. i will say i did like the main character and the magic concept and i understood the book and what all them were going through regarding their magic that they end up getting when they turn 15. One of my favorite things in books mostly horror novels is insects but this novel had insects in a more beautiful way regarding our main characters emotions and her rage. Overall a good book just a bit of a miss for me but i think people will enjoy this one especially with the message.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

This book is beautiful. It is lyrical. It is dark and hopeful, hard to read and lovely to endure. It really wrestles with some dark subject matter in beautiful and poignant verse, and it does it all with a dusting of whimsical sort of fantasy (that gets corrupted and twisted). This book is an extended metaphor about mental health and femininity and family, and I loved reading it.

I've got more to say, more to dig into, and some triggers to watch out for (of which, there are quite a few) that will be included in my full review, available at Gateway Reviews on March 14, 2025. Do swing by!

Note: I was provided with an ARC by the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions here are my own.

[Eden · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is tough for me to rate because I don't think I totally *got* this book. I understood what the different insects represented and the troubles the MC was having with her sister and being ignored, but I don't think I totally understood some of the other issues the protagonist was having. I love reading books in verse, but this one was a bit too vague for me sometimes.

A character I really related to was the mom. What she goes through every day is one of the reasons I don't think I'll ever have children. I saw myself in her in a sad way.

The message of this book is powerful, but it didn't completely impact me the way I wanted it to.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for my honest review.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. Stunning book.

[Lina · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful book.

Let’s start with the writing. This is a novel written in verse which perfectly suits the story that it is telling. The words flow and cascade off the page. Absolutely gorgeous writing. The emotions and characters felt incredibly vivid.

I adored the magical elements. Felt so unique and fresh. Also made for really beautiful imagery. And what a story… describing it feels too simplistic, but it was truly wonderful reading about this girl trying to come to terms with her emotions. It wasn’t a full five star to me simply because I would have liked to have spent a little bit more time on the development towards the end.


Would highly recommend if you want a stunning story written in verse that discusses emotions, complex family dynamics and mental illness.

I would advise looking at trigger warnings beforehand since it does get heavy. These are also specified in the beginning of the book.

4.5⭐️

[Charley · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐️

“I get wasps, too. When I’m angry.”
“Good. Every girl needs her anger.”

This short story (very long poem?) was beautiful and maddening. I ached for everything Nell has been through, and I just wanted to wrap her up in a hug the entire time I was reading. Especially since her parents wouldn’t. I loved that the insects she created were tied to her emotions - it gave life to her feelings and helped her process them.

For a minute, I wished it had ended on a happier note, but I’m actually glad it didn’t. It was raw and real; depression and abuse don’t get wrapped up in a pretty bow in real life. But even with the sadness, I felt uplifted and hopeful at the end, and I knew that Nell would be okay because she’s a fighter.

I also love that the abuser in this story didn’t get a name. He was simply referred to as “Mr. ____.” We need to normalize raising the voice of the victim, not giving identity to the perpetrator. When they crave attention, we withhold it by making them nameless.

I ended up listening to the audiobook because the eARC I received was hard to follow along with. There were times it skipped from one scene to the next and then back again, and I couldn’t make sense of it. But the audio flowed perfectly. Hayley Chewins narrated it herself, and you could hear the love and anger she wrote into the story come through her voice. It was beautifully done.

Thanks to NetGalley, Penguin Young Readers Group, and Viking Books for Young Readers for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. I’m so glad I took a chance on a story written in verse (my first one) solely based on the stunning cover.

[Jayne K. (Fyrefli Fictionary) · Rating 5 out of 5]

More soon!
The women of the Strand family all have strange magic. When Nell’s magic comes she’s trapped within her families’ problems and there’s no one there to save her from the dangers lurking nearby. She fights the swarms alone. A hauntingly beautiful discourse on mental health and how it changes a family and shapes the lives of women, young and old.

The MORE:
Written in verse, I Am the Swarm follows Nell as she gets her strange magic, a gift all women in her family have. But gift might not be the right word. Their magic twists and shapes their world in unexpected ways. A mother whose age changes every day, a sister who bleeds music, and little space is left for Nell and the insects that emerge with her emotions—some she barely understands. She’s left to navigate her power and the dangers of life alone.

This book is absolutely stunning. The metaphors for mental health struggles through twisted magic that alter perception and connection are breathtaking. Along with the inherent risks of growing up a girl. We see generations of women struggling in their own ways, helping how they can, and sometimes failing. We see the danger in struggling alone and the fight to reach out when the people you trust the most can’t bear their own weight, let alone yours. Add this to your reading list and bookmark it for discussions of mental health and women’s struggles with older teens and young adults.

Thank you to NetGalley, PenguinTeen, and Hayley Chewins for a copy of this book for review.

[Wendi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am the swarm is a YA story full of heart and magical realism. This is an emotional ride along in living with those who are supposed to love, nurture and protect you when they are caught up in themselves. Written in verse we take a journey in mental health from the perspective of Nell, a late bloomer in a family where most receive their powers at 15. Through the manifestation of her own abilities, will Nell find herself despite the abuse and neglect of those around her?

[Estee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was confusing to me. I made my way through it but I was kind of grasping at straws and tried my best to piece together. It was a little more work than I wanted.

Thank you to Penguin Group and NetGalley for an advance copy of this book

[Maddie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75 ⭐️

[Katherine Earhart · Rating 3 out of 5]

May retry this one at a later date once it is published.

[Karis · Rating 5 out of 5]

~~Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House for the ARC!~~

What a quiet but powerful read.

Novels in verse have become very special to me over the past couple years, and I'm so happy I found yet another one to add to my all-times favorites this year. The writing is beautifully written, as expected, and the emotion moments hit you precisely as you should. And because this book is filled with a lot of hard subject matters like mental health, sexual assault, parental neglect, and self-harm, they hit hard.

The magic realism in this book is so simple yet perfectly undefined. Mom's visible age changes constantly, the older sister has music in her body, and Nell's emotions manifest insects out of thin air, and nothing is explained to you why, just that it is. It works, though, as they are metaphorical as well as magical, such as the mom being emotionally immature because she visibly represents a teenager for most of the story. Nell's bug manifestation is the crux, with the bugs she makes being literal expressions of emotion. It's such a creative way to represent Nell's emotional turmoil and her eventual acceptance of herself, flaws and all.

Overall, I loved this book a lot. I can't write poetry for the life of me, but I love reading it when it's stuff like this!

[Bri · Rating 4 out of 5]

The strand women are magical. Nell Strand thinks that magic is a curse. Her mother’s age changes everyday, and her sister hears music when she bleeds. Freshly fifteen. Nell’s magic manifests in the form of insects. First happy, little ladybugs that dance across her piano but soon shameful beetles and angry wasps begin to appear.

This magical, YA story about girlhood and self discovery will bring tears to your eyes.

It took until about fifty percent of the book to understand the prose but once I understood the rhythms and writing patterns this was such a beautiful story. I even went back to reread the first half of the book because I really wanted to dive head first into this story. It’s deeply heartbreaking and encompasses the feelings of girlhood and self discovery perfectly.

I mention the prose in this book a lot but I truly believe it enhances the reading experience. There are definitely some sensitive topics in this story and I think the writing does a wonderful job of allowing the reader to understand and feel empathy for what Nell is going through without pushing any boundaries. The lyrical way Chewins writes also blends beautifully with the magical elements. It made even the wasps and beetles seem enchanting. It also blended beautifully with the intense emotions and experiences our main character Nell experiences making this story so worth the read.

Overall, this was unlike anything I’ve read before but it was so well done and you can tell the author put so much thought and love into it. Would definitely recommend it for anyone to read.


Thank you to Viking Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for providing me with an arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Aubrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an unusual and unique read. At first, I was confused by the layout of the words, but then realized that it was meant to be written as a poem.

Nell is a young teen in a family of women who are cursed with magic. It's not the kind of magic you think or would even want. It shows up in peculiar ways and at awkward times. Nell's magic comes to her in the form of insects, directly related to her emotions. Whether she's angry, sad, happy, confused, etc. Different types of insects represent each emotion. Without openly discussing how she was feeling, I was still able to understand by what type of insect appeared.

This was a beautiful yet heartbreaking story about a young teen's struggles to understand herself, her family, and the world around her.

*I received an early copy of this book, and these are my actual thoughts that I am leaving voluntarily*

[Maddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Um oh my god this was so good

“Every girl needs her anger.”

I think this story is truly something everyone needs to read. It was so poignant and really reflective of what growing up feels like. Also SO reflective of self harm, eating disorders and agoraphobia.

I love Nell and k love Shay and omg this seriously could be a movie or a short film. This was truly phenomenal.

[zahra · Rating 4 out of 5]

so deeply moving and poetic; the writing style is something I haven't really seen before, and I thought it was really unique, given that it's structured to be written like a poem. i loved reading about the magic and her family. a beautiful coming-of-age story !!

Thank you to NetGalley and PENGUIN GROUP Penguin Young Readers Group for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Kate Adams · Rating 1 out of 5]

So depressing. Even the way the audiobook narrator (who is the author herself!) speaks, in almost a monotone, makes me miserable. Was listening in the car and couldn't bear to listen to another minute, let alone another 2hr45min. DNF after 1hr15min.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is so much trauma on the pages of this story, but what a poetic way for Nell to experience her emotions. I guess I never really thought about what feelings a ladybug suggest vs a wasp before.

Hayley Chewins does a great job with the narration, I really like her tone.

[Audra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfectly imperfect, iykyk

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wonder if this is written for a teen audience vs written about teens for an older audience.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75 rounded down
Such a powerful way of exploring feeling emotions, understanding their purpose, and using them to help yourself, especially when dealing with a trouble family and difficult circumstances. Highly recommend.
contains sexual abuse, self-harm, suicide attempts (both by secondary characters), romance, allusions to teen sex, mentions of teens drinking

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The prose is SO BEAUTIFUL.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.0 ⭐️

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is beautifully written and wonderfully rich. I struggled at times as I prefer a plot driven story but this book needs to simmer. The language and imagery is beautifully presented and the main character comes into herself slowly. The magic elements are inventive and quite intriguing. A lot is left unexplained and it works. This is not for every reader but those who like it, will love it.

[The Bookish Elf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hayley Chewins returns with her third novel, I Am the Swarm, delivering a powerhouse exploration of trauma, family dysfunction, and the raw, untamed nature of teenage girlhood. Following her critically acclaimed The Turnaway Girls and The Sisters of Straygarden Place, Chewins demonstrates remarkable growth as a storyteller, crafting a narrative that pulses with the same intensity as her protagonist's magical manifestations.

Set against the backdrop of Cape Town's windswept landscapes, this novel-in-verse follows fifteen-year-old Nell Strand as she navigates the treacherous waters of inherited magic, family secrets, and sexual awakening. Where Chewins' previous works explored themes of identity and belonging through gentler magical realism, I Am the Swarm plunges readers into darker territory, examining how trauma manifests in our bodies and relationships with unflinching honesty.

The Strand Family Curse: Magic as Metaphor

The magic system Chewins creates serves as a brilliant metaphor for the ways women's emotions are both pathologized and weaponized. Each Strand woman's magic reflects their deepest struggles: Nell's mother Odette ages unpredictably, sometimes becoming younger than her daughters when overwhelmed by responsibility. Nell's sister Mora bleeds music—literally—requiring self-harm to release the orchestras trapped beneath her skin. Ouma, the grandmother, absorbs entire buildings into her consciousness, feeling every footstep and slamming door.

Nell's own magic begins beautifully with ladybugs dancing across piano keys, representing her creative joy. But darkness follows swiftly: gray moths materializing from hopelessness, sticky black beetles crawling along her skin during moments of shame, and most devastating of all, wasps that swarm when her carefully contained rage finally erupts. These manifestations aren't simply magical—they're viscerally real, forcing Nell to confront emotions she's spent years suppressing.

The genius of Chewins' approach lies in how she makes the fantastical feel utterly authentic. Anyone who has experienced anxiety, depression, or trauma will recognize the way difficult emotions can feel like living creatures crawling beneath the skin, demanding acknowledgment. The magic becomes a literalization of psychological states, making the invisible visible in ways that traditional realism cannot achieve.

Verse as Vehicle: Poetry in Service of Pain

Chewins' decision to write in verse proves masterful, allowing her to capture the fragmented, overwhelming nature of adolescent experience. The poetry breathes with Nell's emotional rhythms—short, staccato lines during moments of panic, longer flowing passages when she finds temporary peace. The white space on pages mirrors the silences in the Strand household, where trauma festers in what remains unsaid.

Consider this passage where Nell describes her first encounter with the wasps:

"Three steps into the forest.
Into the trees, and they come. They come,
exploding. Wasps. A swarm of them.
Moving around like a current.
When I look up, breathing like a trapped animal,
they have swallowed the trees around me.
They have swallowed the sky."

The verse form allows Chewins to compress enormous emotional weight into precise, imagistic language. Each line break feels deliberate, creating pauses that force readers to sit with Nell's terror and wonder. The repetition—"They come. They come"—mimics the obsessive nature of intrusive thoughts, while the imagery of being "swallowed" captures the all-consuming nature of rage and trauma.

Confronting Uncomfortable Truths

Where I Am the Swarm truly distinguishes itself is in its unflinching examination of the ways young women are failed by the adults meant to protect them. Nell's relationship with her piano teacher, Mr. ——— (tellingly unnamed, making him representative of predatory men everywhere), builds with nauseating inevitability. Chewins doesn't shy away from the grooming process—the gradual boundary violations, the way Nell internalizes shame and confusion, the manipulation disguised as mentorship.

The novel's treatment of Nell's mother Odette proves equally complex. Rather than presenting a simple victim or villain, Chewins creates a woman trapped by her own trauma and magical burden. When Odette tells teenage Nell, "I never wanted to have children. I probably shouldn't have had them," the moment stings with recognizable truth. Many readers will uncomfortably recognize moments when parents, overwhelmed by their own pain, inflicted wounds through honesty rather than cruelty.

The family therapy sessions scattered throughout the narrative ring with authentic dysfunction—the psychiatrist who ignores Nell entirely, the way each family member performs their assigned roles while avoiding genuine connection. Chewins captures how trauma becomes a family inheritance, passed down through magical gifts that feel more like curses.

The Power and Peril of Feminine Rage

Perhaps the novel's greatest achievement lies in its exploration of feminine rage—both its necessity and its danger. Throughout literature, angry young women are often portrayed as either villains or victims requiring salvation. Chewins refuses both characterizations, instead presenting Nell's rage as complicated and necessary, even when destructive.

The wasps that manifest Nell's anger are terrifying—they swarm through her bedroom, coat the garden, even spill from her mouth during conversations. But they're also liberating. When Nell finally stops trying to suppress them, stops eating only apples to keep her emotions muted, the wasps become her protection. They fill Mr. ———'s study when he violates her boundaries, giving her the courage to leave. They swarm when Cole kisses her without consent, marking her internal "no" even when she can't voice it aloud.

"Every girl needs her anger," Sabine tells Nell through a video call, and this becomes the novel's central thesis. The magic system brilliantly illustrates how women are taught to internalize and pathologize their emotional responses to genuinely harmful situations. Nell's journey involves learning not to eliminate her anger, but to recognize it as information—a warning system, a form of self-protection, a source of power.

Technical Mastery and Minor Missteps

Chewins demonstrates remarkable technical skill throughout, particularly in her use of sensory detail and metaphor. The Cape Town setting feels fully realized—from the wine lands to Boulders Beach, from the berg winds to the Atlantic's knife-bright coldness. The musical elements woven throughout (Björk references, piano lessons, the boy's band) create additional layers of meaning without overwhelming the narrative.

However, the novel occasionally struggles under the weight of its ambitions. Some plot threads—particularly around Nell's relationship with her aunt Sabine—feel underdeveloped. The pacing in the middle section drags slightly as Nell cycles through destructive patterns, though this may be intentional, mirroring the repetitive nature of trauma responses.

The romantic subplot with Shay, while sensitively handled, sometimes feels overshadowed by the more dramatic elements of family dysfunction and abuse. Their relationship serves important thematic purposes—showing Nell what healthy connection looks like—but lacks the visceral intensity of the family dynamics.

A Necessary and Powerful Addition to YA Literature

I Am the Swarm succeeds as both an engaging narrative and an important cultural artifact. It gives voice to experiences often marginalized or romanticized in young adult fiction—the reality of living with mental illness, navigating family dysfunction, surviving sexual harassment, and learning to trust one's own perceptions in a world that frequently gaslights young women.

The novel's exploration of inherited trauma feels particularly relevant in our current moment, as we grapple with how pain passes between generations and how healing requires acknowledgment rather than suppression. Nell's journey toward accepting all aspects of her magic—the beautiful ladybugs and the terrifying wasps—models a path toward wholeness that doesn't require perfection or the elimination of difficult emotions.

While the book tackles heavy themes, it ultimately offers hope. The final image of dragonflies—representing hope that arrives after anger, bringing light back after carrying it away—suggests that healing is possible, even when it's nonlinear and incomplete.

[Hannah Lawrence · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have not read anything like this book. I Am the Swarm is an intense, visual telling of understanding one's self. Each female character in the main character's family has a special magical power. Our main character seems to have a power that involves identifying and holding space for emotions. She is frightened by her powers — emotions — at the beginning of the book but learns to work with them, feel them, and survive. What a moving read. Definitely check the trigger warnings before reading. There are some instances in the book that are pretty intense.

[Kimberly · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.8? In Nell’s family, whenever a girl turns 15 she is given her magic, which manifests itself differently for everyone. Nell’s magic manifests through bugs based on her emotions - walking stick bugs for sadness, ants for fear, beetles for shame, moths for heaviness/hopelessness, butterflies for desire, ladybugs for happiness, dragonflies for joy, cockroaches for disgust, and wasps for anger. She struggles to maintain and control her emotions as she responds to different challenges in her life - her sister Mora being in a mental health clinic due to self harm, her mom being emotionally distant and trying to commit suicide, her father not being present often, Nell being sexually harassed by her music instructor, Nell kissing a boy to deal with her emotions, Nell having disordered eating in an effort to control her emotions and the magic bugs, and navigating school life.

Story: The premise was interesting and promising, but the execution sadly didn’t hit me the way I hoped, especially for a novel in verse. The book packs a bunch of traumatic and challenging circumstances into one short story, but I wish it had been unpacked more with the main character’s thoughts/feelings/POV rather than moving right along. A lot of it felt vaguely sprinkled in and not given time to sit in the heaviness of the topics. I could see what the work was trying to do, but I think some of the emotions/bugs could have been done in different ways/different situations to deepen the impact. The message for the reader could have been clearer regarding it being okay to feel things and how to regulate your emotions in a healthy, non-destructive way.

Voice: Nell had a clear, consistent voice. Liked the choice of using South African words sprinkled in.

Style: I liked that Shay was called the boy/antidote until she acknowledged she had been using him to deal with her emotions, and then she became calling him by his name in the book. I liked that her harassing music teacher Mr.——- was labeled blankly like that - it demonstrates that it could be anyone or that he wasn’t worthy of being named. I appreciated the inclusion of Cole, Shay’s older brother, who harasses and kisses Nell, because it shows readers the difference between men who take what they want and men who care for those around them (Shay). I didn’t like that the author repeated some words or phrases twice in a row for emphasis. Was eh about that. Didn’t feel like they used the novel in verse style to its full potential.

Setting: Clear. Various places like Nell’s home, their grandma’s home, her music teacher’s home, school, boy’s home, nature spots, and Mora’s inpatient mental health clinic.

Accuracy: Definitely relatable to teens - covers a lot of heavy but realistic topics - dysfunctional families, depression, suicide attempts, self harm, disordered eating, sexual harassment, social relations at school, dating relationships, struggles with how to identify and handle your emotions. I liked that Nell didn’t always know how she was feeling until it manifested in front of her and she could name it. Teens can also relate to how she tries to cope with hard things - numbness, anger, impulsive decisions, using a person, etc. The scenes where she struggled with her anger, shame, and disgust regarding her harassment were particularly impactful.

Characters: I liked Nell’s character development over time - how she learns to deal with her anger, opens up to adults in her life and received help, stands up to her harasser, and comes clean, shares, and apologizes to Shay. I appreciated the inclusion of her considering telling the adults in her life (her aunt) and eventually being able to do that with her mom. I loved Shay as a character - the boy is so supportive and patient with her, doesn’t lash out at all, but is so respectfully communicative in wanting to be there for her! He’s willing to hear her out and ask her questions to show he genuinely cares and says directly that he likes her multiple times !! His texts are so wholesome !!! I was kinda whatever about Mora and Dad, but Mom was well-done for me too in seeing how Nell felt the burden of caring for her emotionally unstable mom. It was neat to see all the characters growing over time - even with Mora working on getting better and Dad showing up at the clinic visits/bringing Mom to the hospital after her suicide attempt.

Theme: I think the book did a wonderful job in portraying how individuals can often harm themselves in multiple ways - shutting off their emotions, disordered eating, self-harm, suicide attempts, keeping people at bay, using people, destroying relationships, etc. The book also did a wonderful job in stressing that it is important to feel your emotions and to know how to handle them, and that some things that you are born with or given don’t have to be a hindrance or a curse to you, but is an additional important part of who you are. Sometimes it takes a while to adjust to that, and that’s okay. It’s not wrong to feel deeply, but it matters how you choose to respond to those feelings. Accurately reflects how it feels to be a high-schooler struggling with your emotions and growing up, especially growing up with traumatic circumstances.

Illustrations: The cover is pretty and fitting.

Design: Appreciate the content warnings at the start! The font is nice but I wish it was bigger - it’s too small and there’s too much white space on each page. I like how it begins, especially the first page.

Depression, self-harm, disordered eating, sexual harassment, and dysfunctional family dynamics, attempted suicide, lots of blood. Lots of kissing too but nothing sexually explicit. Sexual harassment involves touching over clothes, comments, and looking up her shirt.