The Narcissist Next Door Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed--in Your World

by Jeffrey Kluger

From an award-winning senior writer at "Time," an eye-opening exploration of narcissism, how to recognize it, and how to handle it.
The odds are good that you know a narcissist--probably a lot of them. The odds are also good that they are intelligent, confident, and articulate--the center of attention. They make you laugh and they make you think. The odds are also that this spell didn't last.
Narcissists are everywhere. There are millions of them in the United States alone: entertainers, politicians, business people, your neighbors. Recognizing and understanding them is crucial to your not being overtaken by them, says Jeffrey Kluger, in his provocative new book about this insidious disorder.
With insight and wit, Kluger frames the surprising new research on narcissism and explains the complex, exasperating personality disorder. He reveals how narcissism and narcissists affect our lives at work and at home, on the road, and in the halls of government; what to do when we encounter narcissism; and how to neutralize its effects before it's too late.
As a "Time "writer and science editor, Kluger knows how to take science's new ideas and transform them into smart, accessible insights. Highly readable and deeply engaging, this book helps us understand narcissism and narcissists more fully.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Audiobook, Self Help, Mental Health, Sociology, Science

Audio CD

First published September 9, 2014

About the author

Jeffrey Kluger is Editor at Large at Time, where he has written more than 45 cover stories. Coauthor of Lost Moon: The Perilous Voyage of Apollo 13, which was the basis for the movie Apollo 13, he is also the author of 13 other books including his latest book Gemini: Stepping Stone to the Moon, the Untold Story.

Reviews

[Douglas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Riverhead Books and Goodreads for advance copy.

It's very difficult for me to write anything negative about a book that's currently being promoted by a publisher. Times are hard, and I want to encourage book sales, not discourage. Very sorry.

Jeffrey Kluger is a fine writer - succinct, entertaining, and fluid. I would be very interested to read his other books.

Here's the problem I have with this one. Anecdote after anecdote of what Kluger determines is narcissism is based on the person's actions, and he typically skewers celebrities and politicians. Perhaps they're more likely to be narcissistic.

But, isn't narcissism a clinical condition? Doesn't it need to be evaluated by a trained professional like a psychologist?

The examples Kluger uses are based on the behavior of a person. LBJ did this, Steve Jobs did that, can you believe Clinton said that? To my knowledge, none of the anecdotes or examples of Presidents or celebrities exhibiting narcissism were actually clinically diagnosed.

This was a real problem for me. At the end of the book, there's a quiz you can take to assess your narcissism level. Apparently, I scored low and may even have self-esteem issues. I could even be categorized as insecure. At the same time, I could personally identify with some of the narcissistic behaviors of some of the examples.

For example, since I actually took time to take a decent pic of myself and post it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter (Same pic in my Goodreads profile), I must be a narcissist. If I wasn't, I would've just posted an unflattering picture of me having fun, smiling at a neighborhood barbeque. According to Kluger, the fact that I dressed up, combed my hair, and put effort into my picture, I must have a narcissistic tendency.

So, which is it? Am I narcissist or insecure? I personally don't buy either. Truth is, my boss is a professional photographer, and he regularly takes professional photos of our staff. A majority of the people use the pics in their profiles, because why not?!! Why not post a good picture of yourself instead of a bad one? Does that make me insecure or narcissistic? No, I think that makes me a person that would rather have a good picture of themselves instead of a bad one.

And that is what's dangerous about books like this. They're speculative and can lead people in the wrong direction. It's easy to judge a celebrity and politician as narcissistic because they exhibit actions that are self-promoting. But, do their actions warrant a clinical diagnosis of narcissism as a psychological condition? I don't think so.

I've been around a lot of celebrities and even some Presidents (don't ask), and from my view, most of them are uber talented, hard working and just happened to fall into some really, really good luck. The rest of the time, they're doing everything they can to maintain their status because they've had to hire on complete staffs of people with families and concerns of their own. Justin Bieber is not a pop-star, that kid is a 20-year-old CEO. Everyday he wakes up with a staff of people that need checks cut, and if he loses even a small percentage of income because of a bad choice, everyone around him is in jeopardy of losing their job and livelihood - benefits, health coverage, retirement. That's a lot of pressure for a kid.

When I was younger, I always wanted and thought I'd be famous. But once I was around a few famous people (No A-list), I saw the reality. Early mornings, late nights, no sleep, constant interruption, people crying every time they meet you. Think about that for a second. Every single day, strangers walk up to you and simply cry, saying things like, "You've touched my life....I was nothing, until you came along...You are everything to me."

I think it's crazy when people say that no one tells celebrities "no", so that's why they act out. That's ridiculous. I would argue their entire life is a big, fat no. Can I go out to eat? No. Can I go to the bookstore and read a book in quiet? No. Can I mess up? No. Can I call in sick today? No. Can I wear the wrong thing? No. Can I have a buggar in my nose right now? No.

But, from what I gathered from Kluger, celebrities are just narcissists. I don't buy it.

I also don't buy that I'm insecure. Just because I failed a 40-question narcissist test at the back of a book? What if it's all a ruse? What if I've simply learned the ideal way to answer with the sole motivation of making myself look better? What if, instead of being insecure, I'm in fact the opposite, and I actually secretly want to be an x-rated film star? What's more narcissistic than that? What if the only thing that keeps me from doing it is knowing it's wrong and the best way to rise to the top is to be good? Hmm.

This book is entertaining, but I think it's best to be discreet when labeling people. People are more complicated than a label of narcissism or any other label, and it's probably best to trust science and a clinical diagnosis (if that, even) rather than someone's opinion.

[Kristina Coop-a-Loop · Rating 2 out of 5]

What I find rather amusing about Jeffrey Kluger’s The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, In Your Office, in Your Bed—In Your World is that there’s a certain amount of name dropping in the book: his name. It’s understandable that he would mention his own experiences with (supposed) narcissists, but he seems like the narcissist himself in his own stories about dealing with a narcissist. Indeed, in the afterword, he does call himself an “incipient narcissist” which is funny because I don’t think that particular incident showed him to be a narcissist. He just seemed like a normal guy who was pleased he’d finally gotten to tell off his asshole boss. What is narcissistic about his comments is how Kluger preens with success about being able to say that he behaved narcissistically and whew! that was a close call but he’s fine now. Not a narcissist at all. Hilarious.

The Narcissist Next Door is pure pop psychology. Anyone serious about the subject matter (that is, seriously studying it) should not read this book. It’s interesting and entertaining, but rather disappointing. I guess I was expecting more “psychology” and less “pop.” One of the biggest annoyances with the book is the way Kluger names celebrities and famous historical persons and carelessly diagnoses them as narcissists. Some of these people, okay, yeah, they clearly have a need for attention (Donald Trump), but if someone spent more than five seconds in the media, he labeled them a narcissist. To some degree, we’re all narcissists—we are all self-involved and see things from our perspective. That’s natural. The problem arises when narcissism becomes a pathology—the only way to view/travel through life. Kluger (who is not an expert) was way too loose about applying the term. Not all actors or musicians are narcissists just because they do a lot of interviews. It’s called promotion. It’s clear that many of these so-called “public figures” don’t like being public at all but promotion (advertising their work) is a necessary part of the job. Kluger named so many people as narcissists that he began to remind me of those jag-off so-called psychologists on cable news shows that diagnosis people they’ve never met with all sorts of mental and emotional illnesses.

The chapter I enjoyed (and found the most helpful) was called “The Schmuck in the Next Cubicle.” He discusses narcissist coworkers and how they can potentially be helpful—until they’re not. I read that and kept nodding my head as I recognized the behavior from my own schmucks a few cubicles away. I’m hoping the “she’s told so many lies that she now crashes and burns” phase is almost here, but I doubt it. What Kluger doesn’t say is how many people want to believe the narcissist is trying to be helpful and ignore the lies and bad behavior. A lot of people do.

Another problem I had with the book is how he tries to separate out psychopathology from narcissism and he seems to confuse the two. They go hand-in-hand. It’s very difficult to separate them. There can be varying degrees of both pathologies in one person, but Kluger kept talking about some criminals as if they were just narcissists with a dash of psychopathology. To me it seemed the other way around (because of the criminals he mentioned). I see it as (and I’m not an expert but while reading this book I felt that I’d done more research on psychopathology than Kluger had) all psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are necessarily psychopaths. If I’m wrong, that’s okay because I didn’t write a book on the subject that leaves the reader feeling somewhat dubious about some of the information she read.

Overall, if you’re moderately interested in the topic of narcissism, this is not a terrible introduction to the topic. Most of the book is interesting and entertaining, and you get to find out that the author is good buddies with Tom Hanks, whom the author has declared not a narcissist. I’m sure Tom Hanks is so relieved to know this. Now if only Tom can get rid of this narcissist author who thinks they’re friends.

[John Gurney · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Narcissist Next Door is well-written and widely researched, yet, meanders and is primarily about politicians and celebrities. Author Jeffrey Kluger diagoses from afar, which is unsettling. He simply labels stars like Charlie Sheen, Justin Beiber, Alec Baldwin and pols like Bill Clinton, Lyndon Baines Johnson, and Sarah Palin as narcissists. Maybe, but Kluger is not a psychologist. He also lumps very different people together. The sexting Anthony Weiner and the homicidal Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Saddam Hussein are infinitely different; he reviews them all. Kluger discusses Ted Bundy and the Columbine killers, but, self-centered and lacking empathy though they were, were they narcissists or sociopaths?

Kluger diagnoses Steve Jobs as a narcissist and he probably was. Yet, although Jobs may have been an undesirable boyfriend, he also parlayed his supreme self-focus and moxie into a technological revolution.

This book lacks many practical take-aways. Do you have a narcissistic boss or brother? There's little help here. Kluger ID's most US presidents as narcissists, which is no surprise given the responsibilities and the multi-year campaign needed to win the office. Still, so what is the voter to do? Although he doesn't quite say this, I think this is an argument for the American republican system of checks and balances and argues for a weak executive office. Who knows what might happen with a Nixon or some future ultra-narcissist president if not for a free press and limitations on government power? Perhaps the best advice within the book relates to its discussion of the sexual prowess of narcissists. If you're dating someone who acts like Warren Beatty, beware.

[Sarah Hyatt · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you want to understand narcissism, this is a terrible book. I would venture so far as to say this may be a dangerous book. This is the book equivalent of an essay written by a student during an all nighter at the end of finals week.

In the interest of full disclosure, I read one chapter and had to put it down. I skimmed the others. I am also not qualified to diagnose anyone - though Kluger does, repeatedly, and he relies on celebrities. He settles for the shallow, often wrong, assumption that narcissism = self-centeredness. He indulges this definition with examples like Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, and people who take selfies for the internet. It's a tired trope and a very inaccurate one. Anyone who has done minimal reading on NPD, and/or anyone who has known a narcissist, likely knows how poor of a description this is. And for those who embrace it, this book provides little insight into who in their lives may be a narcissist.

Narcissistic personality disorder is exactly that - a mental disorder, not simply someone who is arrogant or in the spotlight. That is the equivalent of someone claiming they are "so OCD!" because they keep a clean house. They are not the same. There may be overlap, but an individual who prefers a clean house, even very adamantly, does not necessarily have a full blown DISORDER anymore than an attention-seeking celebrity. Narcissism as a disorder has more in common with antisocial personality disorder than it does with arrogance (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...). An arrogant person may be annoying and off-putting; a narcissist will charm, manipulate, lie, abuse and often destroy others.

This book honestly does a disservice to those who suspect that someone in their lives may be a narcissist. Readers would do better to pick up Gavin de Becker's "Gift of Fear" and focus on trusting their own intuition rather than pointing fingers at Miley Cyrus' latest bad decisions.

[Laren · Rating 1 out of 5]

There was far too much name dropping of celebrities presumed to be narcissistic although the author doesn't know any of them personally and therefore can't be sure that any of them truly meet the clinical definition of a narcissist. Personally I don't think that such "armchair" diagnoses are a good idea, especially if you base them on only one or two examples from their lives. There is also very little information on how to deal with any narcissists in your life, although it does showcase examples from most types of relationships you are likely to have with one.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love of the self to the exclusion of others produces its own kind of sorrow.. ~ Jeffery Kluger
Narcissism, is the topic of this highly informative and easily understood without the intense scientific data; and deeply personal advice/how to avoid: instead, author Jeffery Kluger engages the reader in: "The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in your Family, in Your Office In Your Bed, in Your World". This is an excellent captivating narrative which identifies behaviors and characteristics and also famous CEO's, celebrities, athletes, presidents and criminal narcissists that most will recognize. Also included: a Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) a series of quiz type questions that pinpoint the disorder on a diagnostic scale.

On the rise in the US likely from the hedonistic tendencies taken to extreme: "the pursuit of happiness" combined with the cultural change from close community/family to a determined individualism. This, compared to Canada that fosters the modest cultural expectations of "peace, order, and good government."
The "dark triad" the combination of personality traits that define Narcissism: impulsiveness (thrill seeking), exploitative tendencies, elevated self-image, the need to be recognized and admired, lack of self awareness (also in regard to others). The encounters with narcissists can be intoxicating, especially when they turn on the appeal and charm, but when reality is bound to happen; an emotional "hangover" is certain to occur.
The reason narcissists can't learn from their mistakes is that they are unable to admit they made one in the first place! This makes therapy/treatment difficult. A depressed narcissist may seek treatment, even trying medication; as soon as they feel better they often resume familiar patterns/behaviors.

The office boss that bullies subordinates, and takes credit for the work of others.. Kluger illustrates that employee's rejoice if the boss is found out/reprimanded, yet, this isn't likely and rarely happens.
A titled behavioral study: "Why Women Really Do Love Self-Obsessed Psychopaths" Kluger discussed the permanent, enduring, staying power of the Clinton marriage. The importance of wisdom, age, excellence/experience over the youth/beauty of a "shiny" trophy wife, where the appeal would fade quickly. The most interesting profiles were of the US presidents, in addition, readers will not want to miss Kluger's analysis of Charlie Sheen, who's 2011 meltdown and feud with his "Two and a Half Men" TV producer Chuck Loree made spectacular national news! This alone is worth the price of the book!

Jeffery Kluger is an award winning author, also an educator and attorney. He is the co-author of "Lost Moon: The Perilous Voyage of Apollo 13" which was made into a 1995 film presentation. He is a senior writer for Time Magazine, and currently writing his third book. Kluger resides in Manhattan, NY. with his wife/family.

[Jonathan Rocks · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this would be an interesting read. I was wrong. It's hard to take the author seriously when his personal bias and petty snark consistently get in the way of an otherwise interesting topic.

Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes, but Kluger seems to pick and choose the ones to defend and make excuses for.

Hell, he leaves other *glaring* examples out of the text almost completely. That's just odd. Or willfully ignorant.

A disappointing read.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m confused. The title of the book suggests the author is writing about narcissists in our daily lives. Family, coworkers, significant other, etc. But most of the book is about narcissistic celebrities, politicians, and athletes. Maybe 30 minutes of the audiobook talked about regular people, but I think that’s being generous.

It was an interesting book, but not what I thought it’d be.

[Emily Kestrel · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book defines narcissism so broadly that anyone who engages in sexting or exhibitionism, aspires to political office or is routinely rude or stuck on themselves could be included. Also racism and sports fanaticism are tied in as being part of "cultural narcissism." As a result, I felt that this book was unfocused and shallow, with too much reliance on evolutionary pop psychology as an explanation (alpha males and dominance-except that really isn't what narcissism is about.) There was also a lot of filler and tangents on things like how unborn babies are parasites, Lyndon Johnson's penis, and how having sex is objectively kind of weird and icky, which is not a problem if you find that sort of thing entertaining. I thought it just seemed like the author was trying too hard to be clever, and up the page count into an actual book.

[M · Rating 1 out of 5]

I opened the book and the first words were unhinged ranting about Donald Trump. Then I closed it.

is it really inconceivable to write a book and not shove your personal politics into it? Get off twitter.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although the book kept me interested throughout it's pages, it did not, in fact, help me understand the monster in my family, in my office, and in my bed. The author presents opinions about a swathe of phenomenons, from celebrity personality to evolution, and tangentially relates each of these to narcissism. Everything can be related back to narcissism if you think hard enough, because there is an innate need to preserve yourself that is self-explanatory.
In addition, the author diagnoses almost everyone with a narcissistic personality, and it seems that he does so based on hearsay rather than first-hand evidence. I thought this was rather unfair and also just not good research.

[Amanda [Novel Addiction] · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was certainly interesting, but not what I expected. I still do not have a good idea of how to deal with a narcissist, nor do I really understand them. Maybe a better subtitle would be "this is what a narcissist will probably do in these situations" not "understanding narcissists in these situations." Oy.

Still though, fascinating reading if you enjoy human behavior.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not as helpful as I would have hoped for dealing with the narcissists in my life.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an advance copy of this book through Penguin's First to Read program. Although I generally shy away from the "pop psychology" genre, I am glad I gave this one a try. First, I should warn that if you are looking for a book on the clinical, personality disorder of narcissism, this book may not be for you. Rather, The Narcissist Next Door provides a broad view of the trait of narcissism and how it has infiltrated the American society. What I found fascinating was how the author applied narcissism to different people and situations: in personal and professional environments, in positions of power, and in everyday groups, such as a summer camp. What I found most surprising, however, was that in each chapter the benefits of narcissism were also discussed. For example, President Bill Clinton's (alleged) narcissism--his seemingly endless need to be loved and adored by all--may have lead him to act in a way that made everyone he encountered feel special and appreciated, and may have also lead to positive governance while in office.



Because no book is perfect, this one too had its flaws. Mainly, I felt that the author's own work was presented in a way that made him appear, ironically, a bit narcissistic himself. I also felt he spent most of his time discussing American narcissists, although there were certainly some mention of other famous narcissists, however, I question whether a narcissist is the best label for someone such as Hitler, when sociopath seems better suited. This liberty taken by the author to essentially merge these two qualities (narcissism and antisocial tendencies), is understandable and, certainly there is some overlap, but they are two different qualities. The flaws certainly do not outweigh the pros of this book, thankfully, and I found it to be entertaining, educational, and thought-provoking. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in learning more about this rising phenomenon.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was probably 3.5 stars for me. I rounded up only because I felt sorry that the GR rating was so low.

Okay, this book needs to be read with a grain of salt. Once I could do that, I enjoyed it. If you are looking for scientific and clinical accuracy, as well as study after study, this is NOT the book for you.

The author starts out railing on Donald Trump. A lot of celebrities, politicians, and even some businesses were not spared from the 'all knowing narcissism finger'. That was kind of humorous in a way.

Overall, I got the impression that the narcissism in this book was painted with an extremely broad stroke. It wasn't particularly specific, but identified narcissistic behavior in those who are in the spotlight.

[Charlene · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pros:
- Kluger took an integrated global and local approach to understanding narcism. For example, ingroup/outgroup thinking in war, sports teams, personal relationships.
- He did a great job at times of using critical thinking and writing skills when discussing twin studies, as well as some other studies.
- The chapter on relationships was fantastic.
- One main point from the relationship chapter was that ongoing self-centered and exploitive behavior is as damaging as many other types of recognized abuse. I have been lucky enough to have avoided this in my own life but have seen others obliterated by such behavior. It was nice to see him so clearly name it. I would like to see that more in books.
- His perspective on how narcissist fiercely love their ingroup (don't hurt my kid. they are the most important person in the world) while having zero empathy for outgroup (narcissists don't realize other people are actually humans with feelings or they don't care. If the person is not important to the narcissist, then that person is not important to the world) was great.

Cons:
- Kluger ripped of the title of his book from Marth Stout's The Sociopath Next Door. Dude, get your own title.
- He indulged in too many unsupported opinions (ie., kids these days need to play outside more.) He needs a refresher on control factors in studies and how they affect results.
- Clearly entertainers can be narcissists but dressing provocatively doesn't seem as much a sign of narcissism as it reflects what image sells. That said, his take on many public figures was pretty entertaining.

Even with the cons, it is without question one of the better books about narcissists I have read.

[Mary Ronan Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Narcissism is on the rise, says Jeffrey Kluger, the author of The Narcissist Next Door, in part because of the educational theories of recent years that demand a prize for everyone to assure each student he is special. But self-esteem is one thing and the ridiculous pampering of the egos of young people is another and the latter is dangerous.

There are lots of statistics in the book, my favorite being the study that tells us 80% of American youth think they are in the top 10 percent of students in math. The US is no 25 and sinking.

An interesting and amusing book but more useful for entertainment than enlightenment. We can see the narcissism all around us. We don't need a book to point it out to us.

[Deirdre K]

An impulse grab at the library, and ultimately disappointing. The subtitle is very misleading. Instead it is more of a (somewhat mean-spirited) series of profiles of well known narcissists (LBJ, Steve Jobs), though I think it is dangerous to throw around the term even on larger-than-life characters.

The most interesting part for me was the situation that Kluger identified as his own slight step toward narcissism (I so wanna know who the editor was).

[Hester · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have given this book a 1, but it is so much better than "Monsters International" that I would have felt dirty.

Years ago I read "The Sociopath Next Door." It was fantastic, so I went in with artificially high expectations. Unfortunately, the book seems to be an excuse for Mr. Kluger to string together whatever he finds interesting while pretending to be interested in narcissism. I finished the book unsure he even understood what it was.

Deeply disappointing.

[Nia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an invaluable book to read and provided important insights into several situations I've had to deal with. Understanding that there are actually at least two main types of npd put certain persons into perspective for me which had been a quandry in terms of how to view and deal with these people. Very useful book, sadly.

[Rowan]

DNF so I'm not leaving a rating.

The author is irritatingly snide. For example, he says:

"As for hypoglycemia? Please. Unless you're diabetic and have just injected yourself with insulin and skipped a meal, odds are you're just tired, hungry and looking for an excuse for a snack. So eat a Snickers and pipe down." (p. 18)

"The incidence of true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is just 1 percent in the general population, sneaking up to 3 percent in certain groups—such as people in their twenties who have yet to be humbled a bit by the challenges and setbacks of adult life." (p. 18)

He spends a good deal of chapter two characterizing human fetuses as narcissists, which I don't find useful. The author says of fetuses:

"At the moment of conception, an effectively alien creature commandeers the mother's womb and uses it as a sort of beachhead from which to seize control of her entire body. Mothers get nothing from this arrangement physically; babies get life itself, and they will stop at nothing to ensure their own survival, often relying on deceit of the first order." (p. 26)

This "deceit of the first order" is the necessity that a fetus needs "hide" itself from the pregnant person's immune system for the fetus to get born. He describes this biological process further, saying it is "as selfish as it is involuntary [...] The baby has no idea about the sublime self-centeredness of its own actions." (p. 28) Categorizing this as narcissism or self-centredness is silly. It's a biological process that neither party has control over. He's ascribing agency where there is none. This is something the author himself notices: "Calling any of this survival-based behaviour true narcissism is, of couse, nonsense. Gestation is a mindless process, with the fetus no more consciously running the show than the mother is." (p. 30) Given that, I'm not sure what the purpose of this extended passage was supposed to be. It leads into a discussion about what happens when children remain self-centred beyond what is developmentally expected, so I would understand some discussion of infant behaviour, but he's talking about unborn fetuses.

In the third chapter, the author decries participation ribbons and clearly disapproves of children thinking they're special. I disagree that having some self-esteem means you can't also care about other people, which is what he seems to imply.

The same chapter has a section which discusses sexting. It says, "For people who have less at stake, however, it's hard not to see a powerful strain of narcissism in the nude selfie that is then sent wide—especially since once the picture is out of your control it can be forwarded, posted and seen by anyone at all. In at least some cases, that potential wider audience might be perceived not as one of the risks but as part of the thrill." (p.65) The author is saying that people who have their nudes distributed without their permission are more narcissistic, somehow. I was already getting irritated by what I described above, but this is where I stopped reading.

[Marta · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of sub-topics are introduced, but there is a lack of depth to any of the chapters. Uuthor Kluger would name famous people that he claims are narcissists. It actually seems to fit the actions he describes of narcissists to be neither a psychologist or personally close to the people named and claim this kind of knowledge, as well as be unconcerned about their feelings.
In the back is a quiz to rate your narcissistic tendencies. But here's the deal: a score of 17 or above means you are, "flirting with narcissism" however 15 or below and you "may have self esteem issues." So apparently healthy people must score exactly 16. Hmmm.

[Ruby Noise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Makes me ponder whether narcissism is just another label people want to place on someone, or is it just bad manners. Good tips on recognising the narcissist, though life teaches you the same lessons over time if you care to listen. I must admit though it was the best dedication I've read "To Me." I had to complete the NPI (Narcissistic Personality Inventory) in the back of the book and apparently I have self-esteem issues.To the makers of such tests, I say fuck you, I love myself and my sense of humanity. Labels, labels, labels it's either you have good manners and sense of kindness to others or you don't.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is very well written and research. It just does not give a good picture of the Donald or should I say, enough of one. Maybe he had to be careful but I wanted more. Ok even so, you get a good look at what a narcissistic person does, is, behaves like, then you can make sure to give them wide berth from the minute you identify them. Mark my words, you will want to do just that. :-) I am very good now at picking them out.

[Dna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Astoundingly bad! Jeffrey Kluger goes off on one tangent after another, talks way too much about celebrities he deems to be narcissists, and doesn't seem to tie up his thoughts into anything approaching a thesis. If you're picking this up to learn about narcissists/narcissistic personality disorder, you'll be bored and disappointed.

[Tina Panik · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Narcissists are, in a sense, emotional muggers, people who assault their victims with a combination of stealth and misdirection." ( 253). This book does an excellent job of defining the line between over confidence and narcissism, and provides solid advice for dealing with this at work.

[Steve Warnick · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is only the second audiobook I have not finished. I made it 3/4 way through but its' conjectures and generalizations that every famous person or politician is a narcissist got old quickly.

[Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was terrible. This book was full of painful boring rants based on opinion. It was skinny on any helpful insight. I feel truly dissapointed.

[Feisty Harriet · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everyone is a little bit narcissistic, or has temporary narcissistic traits, it's part of most human survival in some form. But a true, unapologetic Narcissist is simultaneously charismatic, completely lacking in empathy, and for the most part kind of terrifying. Would not like to meet. Or be Presidented by, ahem. I wish they had a little bit more neuroscience in here, instead of only psychological anecdotes and legitimate psych studies (both of which were interesting). What is the << why >> of a brain being narcissistic vs not? Is it chemical? Or just situational? Genetic? Hereditary? I wanted more info about that.

[Yulenka · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book. Kluger writes with a kind of dry sense of humour which I appreciated. I did find that he spent way too much time making examples of the presidents, as he referred to them as if his readers knew their personalities by default. As a non-american, I did not.
He also took some pretty damn leisurely strolls around semi-related points and that got frustrating. The tangents didn't really give value to the original point but you still ended up reading through them hoping they'd relate more than they ended up relating.
By the end of the book, I found that he was using the term "narcissist" as a sort of catch-all for selfish behaviour. And while I understand that that's what narcissism is, I think he pushed it a little too far at times, watering down his original points.

Other than that a decent read. A little hard to get into initially, but interesting nonetheless.