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The New Rulebook: Notes from a psychologist to help redefine the way you live, for fans of Glennon Doyle, Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert and Julie Smith
The bestselling, practical and inclusive guide to life from Instagram's favourite psychologist Chris Cheers.
Shortlisted for the 2024 Australian Book Design Awards Best Designed Non-Fiction Cover
Take a moment and check in with how you've been feeling lately. Maybe a little tired, stressed or burnt out? All the recent upheaval and uncertainty has left many of us not only feeling exhausted, but also questioning who we are and what we want from life. Yet instead of taking the necessary time to process and answer these important questions, many of us are feeling pressured to just get back to 'normal'. But what if we want better than normal? The world has changed - we have changed - so when it comes to caring for our wellbeing, it's clear we need new rules.
The New Rulebook is a practical, game-changing guide to embracing that uncertainty. It compassionately asks you to re-examine five key self-care, emotions, work, body and love (all the big stuff!), and then offers radical, evidence-based solutions to improve your wellbeing. Led not by expectation, but by what you need. The rulebook for life has been thrown out the window over the last few years. Rather than picking it back up, let's write a new one.
PRAISE FOR THE NEW RULEBOOK
'A must-read for anyone who's overwhelmed by the increasing uncertainty of the world.' Osher Günsberg
'Chris Cheers has a way of explaining the world and how we live that will make real changes to our future.' Jacinta Parsons, ABC Radio Melbourne
'This is a book you'll want to return to - again and again - every time things get tough.' Benjamin Law
'This psychology book is like no other. The author challenges core beliefs, whilst being affirming and refreshingly open about himself. It punches. Read it.' Dr Mark Cross, psychiatrist and bestselling author of Anxiety
'The practical tips he provides leave the reader with no excuse but to set those boundaries and start living in alignment.' Jessica Sanders, social worker and bestselling author of Me Time
'Chris Cheers' words have been so comforting throughout the pandemic. This book is a practical and kind resource for anyone looking for mental-health coping strategies.' Carly Findlay OAM
'At a time of great upheaval and uncertainty, The New Rulebook is the anchor we need to pull us back to shore and live a calmer, more meaningful life.' Jill Stark, mental health advocate and bestselling author of High Sobriety
'This book held me at the edge of feeling both challenged and safe. I read it in one sitting - but I will keep it close by for the powerful reminders, interventions and ideas it offers. Cheers shows us the potential of rewriting the script in a way that is so validating, humanising and aware.' Georgia Grace, certified Australian sex coach
'In this book, Chris provides a new way of being - one which is centred on good care for self, good care for others and good care for the world.
Shortlisted for the 2024 Australian Book Design Awards Best Designed Non-Fiction Cover
Take a moment and check in with how you've been feeling lately. Maybe a little tired, stressed or burnt out? All the recent upheaval and uncertainty has left many of us not only feeling exhausted, but also questioning who we are and what we want from life. Yet instead of taking the necessary time to process and answer these important questions, many of us are feeling pressured to just get back to 'normal'. But what if we want better than normal? The world has changed - we have changed - so when it comes to caring for our wellbeing, it's clear we need new rules.
The New Rulebook is a practical, game-changing guide to embracing that uncertainty. It compassionately asks you to re-examine five key self-care, emotions, work, body and love (all the big stuff!), and then offers radical, evidence-based solutions to improve your wellbeing. Led not by expectation, but by what you need. The rulebook for life has been thrown out the window over the last few years. Rather than picking it back up, let's write a new one.
PRAISE FOR THE NEW RULEBOOK
'A must-read for anyone who's overwhelmed by the increasing uncertainty of the world.' Osher Günsberg
'Chris Cheers has a way of explaining the world and how we live that will make real changes to our future.' Jacinta Parsons, ABC Radio Melbourne
'This is a book you'll want to return to - again and again - every time things get tough.' Benjamin Law
'This psychology book is like no other. The author challenges core beliefs, whilst being affirming and refreshingly open about himself. It punches. Read it.' Dr Mark Cross, psychiatrist and bestselling author of Anxiety
'The practical tips he provides leave the reader with no excuse but to set those boundaries and start living in alignment.' Jessica Sanders, social worker and bestselling author of Me Time
'Chris Cheers' words have been so comforting throughout the pandemic. This book is a practical and kind resource for anyone looking for mental-health coping strategies.' Carly Findlay OAM
'At a time of great upheaval and uncertainty, The New Rulebook is the anchor we need to pull us back to shore and live a calmer, more meaningful life.' Jill Stark, mental health advocate and bestselling author of High Sobriety
'This book held me at the edge of feeling both challenged and safe. I read it in one sitting - but I will keep it close by for the powerful reminders, interventions and ideas it offers. Cheers shows us the potential of rewriting the script in a way that is so validating, humanising and aware.' Georgia Grace, certified Australian sex coach
'In this book, Chris provides a new way of being - one which is centred on good care for self, good care for others and good care for the world.
192 pages, Paperback
Published January 14, 2025
37 people are currently reading
611 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
February 5, 2023
A truly lovely, warm-hearted guide to compassion led psychology and self-care as of 2023. Bringing mental, physical, and emotional health together into the whole it always should have been treated as. Filled with thoughtfully considered and actionable advice, tips and tricks, and resources. What a beautiful book!
February 4, 2023
thoughtful reflections and I enjoyed the concrete steps/strategies at the end of each chapter. I did feel like the book ended suddenly, but that was maybe reflective of my experience reading it on Kindle?
June 27, 2023
Amazing. I'll be forever grateful to my brother for recommending this to me. Doubly recommended by me toward LGBTQI+ people.
September 8, 2022
This is the only mental health book that needs to exist. Groundbreaking. Inspiring. Incredible. Catch me for the next 5 months telling anyone who will listen TO READ THIS BOOK
May 7, 2025
This is one of those novels that I encourage you to sit with, use the questions as journal prompts - I genuinely found the outlook on mental health and general life so refreshing from other "self-help" books!!
Dr Cheers' intentions behind this book is to offer you new ways to care for your mental health during a modern age of change. Our ways of being in the world and finding well-being needs to change too.
Some quotes from the book that I highlighted:
many of the worthwhile actions of self care are carried out in relation to other people, such as communicating boundaries, saying no, of standing up for yourself.
if self-care is helping you cope with something that you should change, then this is not self-care this is self-neglect.
I could highlight the whole book tbh, everything that's touched on is so relatable and I feel as though I've unlocked a new outlook on life (lmao dramatic but true), in the sense of understanding emotion and patterns.
Can Chris be my psych? lol 💚
Dr Cheers' intentions behind this book is to offer you new ways to care for your mental health during a modern age of change. Our ways of being in the world and finding well-being needs to change too.
Some quotes from the book that I highlighted:
many of the worthwhile actions of self care are carried out in relation to other people, such as communicating boundaries, saying no, of standing up for yourself.
if self-care is helping you cope with something that you should change, then this is not self-care this is self-neglect.
I could highlight the whole book tbh, everything that's touched on is so relatable and I feel as though I've unlocked a new outlook on life (lmao dramatic but true), in the sense of understanding emotion and patterns.
Can Chris be my psych? lol 💚
May 31, 2025
The New Rulebook offers insightful, compassionate guidance for anyone looking to live more intentionally and break free from outdated norms. The author writes with clarity and warmth, blending psychological expertise with real-life reflections that feel both practical and powerful.
While I’m personally not drawn to books with LGBTQ+ themes, I appreciate the respectful and inclusive tone throughout. Even if not every chapter resonated with me, the overall message is impactful and well worth the read.
While I’m personally not drawn to books with LGBTQ+ themes, I appreciate the respectful and inclusive tone throughout. Even if not every chapter resonated with me, the overall message is impactful and well worth the read.
August 15, 2025
Chris Cheers was instrumental in me finishing my Psychology major in my undergrad, and I don't mean that like "Oh this book and his insta were so inspiring" I mean he was my tutor for some of my subjects while he was doing postgrad study and I would NOT have scraped the statistics marks I did without him basically re-teaching the lecture each week in an accessible and upbeat way.
I'm pleased to see he's still teaching complex subjects in that same accessible, upbeat way - but this time, in book form! Great stuff.
I'm pleased to see he's still teaching complex subjects in that same accessible, upbeat way - but this time, in book form! Great stuff.
April 26, 2023
Love Love Love this book.
Easy to read with acknowledgement of Chris' privilege of being a cis white man within the LGBTIQA+ community.
5 chapters of work with different questions in each to reflect on.
Has definitely made me reflect on some things I'd like to work on.
Easy to read with acknowledgement of Chris' privilege of being a cis white man within the LGBTIQA+ community.
5 chapters of work with different questions in each to reflect on.
Has definitely made me reflect on some things I'd like to work on.
May 2, 2023
Really enjoyed this! Will come back to it every year for a reset for sure!
July 2, 2023
Really like the writing style
February 3, 2023
Cannot rate this book any higher. Phenomenal, practical, easy to read, inclusive and really beautiful. It has earned place on my high traffic section of my shelf.
August 19, 2024
Generally, I do not consider myself an avid self-help reader. I have read some well-known ones, such as those by Dale Carnegie (How to Win Friends and Influence People) Tony Robbins (Unlimited Power & Awaken the Giant Within) and Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck) but would rather pick up a good fiction read. I can appreciate their place however.
The New Rulebook - Notes from a Psychologist to Help Redefine the Way You Live is written by Australian Psychologist Dr Chris Dr Cheers and was published in 2023. Despite being written by a psychologist, there is no ‘psychobabble’ and is quite a short read being around 156 pages. It is written to be accessible and in a warm friendly tone.
It aims to untangle, dismantle and re-write many societal beliefs that many of us follow, which is divided into the following 5 sections of the book:
• Self-Care: ‘Old Rule - ‘Self-Care means putting yourself first’. New Rule – ‘Us-care’ means when we care for others, we care for ourselves”.
• Emotions: ‘Old Rule - ‘Emotions should be controlled. New Rule – ‘Emotions should be understood with openness and curiosity. ourselves”.
• Work: ‘Old Rule ‘Work hard and be rewarded’. New Rule – ‘Live authentically with purpose.’
• Love: ‘Old Rule - ‘Love is about finding the one’. New Rule – ‘Love is the actions of connection, belonging and safety.’
• Body: ‘Old Rule – ‘Be body positive’. New rule ‘Develop a relationship with body focused on function, pleasure and rest.
Cheer’s critique of these beliefs is quite refreshing, as they are broken down into detail, revealing them to be problematic or sometimes toxic ways to live. He challenges the reader to challenge these beliefs and consider fine tuning them. He reinforces this by asking the reader to do some homework and reflection at the end of each section.
Despite being published in 2023, the book is timestamped by the author writing it during the Australian 2021 Covid-19 lockdown and he writes it from the perspective of having a degree of uncertainty about the future of the world coming out of it. The author also highlights multiple times that he is a cis-gendered queer man and that his views and beliefs won’t apply to all, which is appreciated, but Cheer’s other leftist digressions throughout the book did irk me slightly. I also found the final section on ‘Body’ was the weakest of all the other sections and presented information that was not as new or refreshing. I found this section had information that was more common knowledge.
In terms of light self-help books, you could do worse and it is good to see a self-help book that challenges the general status quo.
The New Rulebook - Notes from a Psychologist to Help Redefine the Way You Live is written by Australian Psychologist Dr Chris Dr Cheers and was published in 2023. Despite being written by a psychologist, there is no ‘psychobabble’ and is quite a short read being around 156 pages. It is written to be accessible and in a warm friendly tone.
It aims to untangle, dismantle and re-write many societal beliefs that many of us follow, which is divided into the following 5 sections of the book:
• Self-Care: ‘Old Rule - ‘Self-Care means putting yourself first’. New Rule – ‘Us-care’ means when we care for others, we care for ourselves”.
• Emotions: ‘Old Rule - ‘Emotions should be controlled. New Rule – ‘Emotions should be understood with openness and curiosity. ourselves”.
• Work: ‘Old Rule ‘Work hard and be rewarded’. New Rule – ‘Live authentically with purpose.’
• Love: ‘Old Rule - ‘Love is about finding the one’. New Rule – ‘Love is the actions of connection, belonging and safety.’
• Body: ‘Old Rule – ‘Be body positive’. New rule ‘Develop a relationship with body focused on function, pleasure and rest.
Cheer’s critique of these beliefs is quite refreshing, as they are broken down into detail, revealing them to be problematic or sometimes toxic ways to live. He challenges the reader to challenge these beliefs and consider fine tuning them. He reinforces this by asking the reader to do some homework and reflection at the end of each section.
Despite being published in 2023, the book is timestamped by the author writing it during the Australian 2021 Covid-19 lockdown and he writes it from the perspective of having a degree of uncertainty about the future of the world coming out of it. The author also highlights multiple times that he is a cis-gendered queer man and that his views and beliefs won’t apply to all, which is appreciated, but Cheer’s other leftist digressions throughout the book did irk me slightly. I also found the final section on ‘Body’ was the weakest of all the other sections and presented information that was not as new or refreshing. I found this section had information that was more common knowledge.
In terms of light self-help books, you could do worse and it is good to see a self-help book that challenges the general status quo.
March 21, 2023
Loved it. Really refreshing take on self care. At times tries to be a bit much to too many and could benefit from narrowing in, but maybe its magic is in everyone seeing themselves represented in it.
I was uncomfortable with the chapter on body positivity. I feel like it was too focused on trying to convince readers that obesity can be healthy. A section like that could have been really powerful if it focused on personal freedom to choose your body type, an acknowledgement of the risks of obesity, and an embrace of the equal worth of everyone regardless of body shape.
For some reason it tried to claim body builders are being called obese by doctors misusing the BMI... Bizarre
But yes, love yourself and your body, and yes doctors should treat issues not just tell people to lose weight.
I was uncomfortable with the chapter on body positivity. I feel like it was too focused on trying to convince readers that obesity can be healthy. A section like that could have been really powerful if it focused on personal freedom to choose your body type, an acknowledgement of the risks of obesity, and an embrace of the equal worth of everyone regardless of body shape.
For some reason it tried to claim body builders are being called obese by doctors misusing the BMI... Bizarre
But yes, love yourself and your body, and yes doctors should treat issues not just tell people to lose weight.
June 26, 2023
What I liked about this book is that it considers areas of personal challenges from a different perspective, and questions whether the ways in which we have been taught to deal with these challenges are actually healthy and beneficial to the individual and community. Whether it’s buying more things in order to practise ‘self-care’ or closing ourselves down to feelings and emotions to maintain control, Chris Cheers challenges what we think we know and what we have been told, in order to determine what might actually improve our well-being.
Each chapter focuses on one area and begins with the ‘old rule’ and ‘new rule’, and Cheers proceeds to explain his reasoning for changing perspectives and the ways in which we deal with difficulties. For example, in his chapter on emotions, Cheers discards the ‘old rule’ that emotions need to be controlled, stating that instead we should aim to understand and ‘feel’ them, rather than control or ignore them. Only then can we change the cycles of anxiety and stress. We need to take time to process our emotions so we can move through them, reminding ourselves that these emotions are normal.
Each chapter ends with steps and strategies to implement to help on your own journey to improve your life in each area. For example, the chapter on love asks us to consider checking in and being vulnerable with those we care for, to improve our connections in existing relationships. This section also discusses how to apologise and properly listen, how to have difficult conversations and communicate boundaries.
The New Rulebook: Notes from a psychologist to help redefine the way you live has some helpful thoughts on what self-care actually is and should be, to how to handle stress and emotions, whether we should be making goals, body positivity vs neutrality and how we prioritise relationships and can improve our connections. There are plenty of ideas to consider, and I genuinely felt that his reflections and strategies were on the whole pretty constructive. I definitely believe that I finished this book with some practical objectives, whilst also feeling validated for some of my own ways of responding to things that turned out to be exactly how Cheers advocates for people to deal with situations and experiences.
I certainly recommend this book. It’s a quick and easy read, and even if you personally don’t feel like you have any major life challenges currently, or any mental illnesses to deal with, I believe that everyone can take something from his perspective and strategies.
Warnings: many references to mental illness
Each chapter focuses on one area and begins with the ‘old rule’ and ‘new rule’, and Cheers proceeds to explain his reasoning for changing perspectives and the ways in which we deal with difficulties. For example, in his chapter on emotions, Cheers discards the ‘old rule’ that emotions need to be controlled, stating that instead we should aim to understand and ‘feel’ them, rather than control or ignore them. Only then can we change the cycles of anxiety and stress. We need to take time to process our emotions so we can move through them, reminding ourselves that these emotions are normal.
Each chapter ends with steps and strategies to implement to help on your own journey to improve your life in each area. For example, the chapter on love asks us to consider checking in and being vulnerable with those we care for, to improve our connections in existing relationships. This section also discusses how to apologise and properly listen, how to have difficult conversations and communicate boundaries.
The New Rulebook: Notes from a psychologist to help redefine the way you live has some helpful thoughts on what self-care actually is and should be, to how to handle stress and emotions, whether we should be making goals, body positivity vs neutrality and how we prioritise relationships and can improve our connections. There are plenty of ideas to consider, and I genuinely felt that his reflections and strategies were on the whole pretty constructive. I definitely believe that I finished this book with some practical objectives, whilst also feeling validated for some of my own ways of responding to things that turned out to be exactly how Cheers advocates for people to deal with situations and experiences.
I certainly recommend this book. It’s a quick and easy read, and even if you personally don’t feel like you have any major life challenges currently, or any mental illnesses to deal with, I believe that everyone can take something from his perspective and strategies.
Warnings: many references to mental illness
July 24, 2023
I highly recommend this new rulebook by Chris Cross, an Australian queer white male psychologist and mental health educator. This recently released audiobook offers valuable advice, particularly in the chaotic Australian context. Overall, this audiobook encourages introspection and provides practical guidance for intentional living.
Cross's writing is articulate and concise, making it easy to engage with the book. His words of wisdom encourage reflection throughout the audiobook. The author's voice evokes a reflective state, captivating listeners from start to finish.
The book challenges societal beliefs and ingrained ways of life, providing a fresh perspective on self-care, emotions, work, love, and body. Cross advocates for tuning inward to our needs instead of succumbing to external expectations, fostering a culture of connection, belonging, and safety. He introduces various psychological theories and offers a multitude of strategies and thought-provoking questions for intentional and authentic living.
I found the book incredibly helpful and took extensive notes. It is a valuable resource for crafting a life that prioritises authenticity, curiosity, vulnerability, and meaningful connections. My main takeaways are the importance of differentiating between societal expectations and personal needs to avoid self-criticism and internalised stigmas. I plan to regularly revisit my notes to check in with myself regarding self-care, emotions, work, love, and body.
Additionally, I gained valuable insights into body acceptance and body neutrality. Shifting the focus from appearance to body function, pleasure, and rest will optimise my well-being and promote a healthier relationship with my body.
Cross's writing is articulate and concise, making it easy to engage with the book. His words of wisdom encourage reflection throughout the audiobook. The author's voice evokes a reflective state, captivating listeners from start to finish.
The book challenges societal beliefs and ingrained ways of life, providing a fresh perspective on self-care, emotions, work, love, and body. Cross advocates for tuning inward to our needs instead of succumbing to external expectations, fostering a culture of connection, belonging, and safety. He introduces various psychological theories and offers a multitude of strategies and thought-provoking questions for intentional and authentic living.
I found the book incredibly helpful and took extensive notes. It is a valuable resource for crafting a life that prioritises authenticity, curiosity, vulnerability, and meaningful connections. My main takeaways are the importance of differentiating between societal expectations and personal needs to avoid self-criticism and internalised stigmas. I plan to regularly revisit my notes to check in with myself regarding self-care, emotions, work, love, and body.
Additionally, I gained valuable insights into body acceptance and body neutrality. Shifting the focus from appearance to body function, pleasure, and rest will optimise my well-being and promote a healthier relationship with my body.
March 26, 2023
A great read. Quick and to the point with actionable points, examples and worksheets that assist you to question your values, behaviours and purpose, guiding you to make changes to positively impact your life moving forward.
Chris Cheers is an Australian psychologist who after seeing many patients during and after the pandemic complaining of the same crippling mental health issues of loneliness, stress, grief, anxiety, depression and loss, (and feeling many of these emotions himself) he set about creating what he calls a ‘new rulebook’ - challenging the old way of thinking about how we live, how we work, how we love and how we react to our self and our emotions.
Great read. Possibly a little too short and a little light in places. Yet maybe it’s punchy-ness is it’s charm. Being simple and direct you have a higher chance of retaining the learnings.
4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Take up space to check in with your body to know how you are feeling and what you need.
Take up space to rest, even when the world is telling you to work.
Take up space with each other, to define new ways of love focused on actions of belonging, connection and safety.
Take up space to acknowledge the systems that act against you and, when you have the capacity, take up space to try and change them.
Take up space to live every day guided by what is meaningful to you, rather than by what is expected.
In this space we can truly consider what is meaningful to us and how we can make life happen; how we live with purpose, because the difference between uncertainty and hope is purpose.”
Chris Cheers is an Australian psychologist who after seeing many patients during and after the pandemic complaining of the same crippling mental health issues of loneliness, stress, grief, anxiety, depression and loss, (and feeling many of these emotions himself) he set about creating what he calls a ‘new rulebook’ - challenging the old way of thinking about how we live, how we work, how we love and how we react to our self and our emotions.
Great read. Possibly a little too short and a little light in places. Yet maybe it’s punchy-ness is it’s charm. Being simple and direct you have a higher chance of retaining the learnings.
4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Take up space to check in with your body to know how you are feeling and what you need.
Take up space to rest, even when the world is telling you to work.
Take up space with each other, to define new ways of love focused on actions of belonging, connection and safety.
Take up space to acknowledge the systems that act against you and, when you have the capacity, take up space to try and change them.
Take up space to live every day guided by what is meaningful to you, rather than by what is expected.
In this space we can truly consider what is meaningful to us and how we can make life happen; how we live with purpose, because the difference between uncertainty and hope is purpose.”
June 28, 2023
✨🌈✨Lovely Lloyd Living by Life-changing Literature - The New Rulebook: Notes from a psychologist to help redefine the way you live by @chrischeerspsychology✨🌈✨
Okay so firstly I loved the author's immediate acknowledgement of privilege. Like how many Cis-Het white dudes have written Self Help books where the advice is to get up at 5AM and just be better, MATE! It is appreciated.
This book has an excellent exploration of 'Selfcare'. I loved the discussion and the 'new rules' on this topic. I can also confirm that the body section promotes joyful movement and intuitive eating which are huge ticks for me.
However over May/June my focus has been on the Social Media section and getting my bookstagram habit back into order. I am thankful for this resource during this time 😊.
Oh but team, TWIST! Then I got to the love section and this book just got cooler with some sweet poly promotion that I was not expecting from a book on a Big W shelf. Loved it.
I must make a confession - two days in a row! - that this piccies are from inside a Big W 🙈🙈🙈. The reason being that I have shared my copy with some colleagues before grabbing a photo 😅. And surely sharing a self help book is the greatest compliment there is!
Okay so firstly I loved the author's immediate acknowledgement of privilege. Like how many Cis-Het white dudes have written Self Help books where the advice is to get up at 5AM and just be better, MATE! It is appreciated.
This book has an excellent exploration of 'Selfcare'. I loved the discussion and the 'new rules' on this topic. I can also confirm that the body section promotes joyful movement and intuitive eating which are huge ticks for me.
However over May/June my focus has been on the Social Media section and getting my bookstagram habit back into order. I am thankful for this resource during this time 😊.
Oh but team, TWIST! Then I got to the love section and this book just got cooler with some sweet poly promotion that I was not expecting from a book on a Big W shelf. Loved it.
I must make a confession - two days in a row! - that this piccies are from inside a Big W 🙈🙈🙈. The reason being that I have shared my copy with some colleagues before grabbing a photo 😅. And surely sharing a self help book is the greatest compliment there is!
December 29, 2024
Why did I read this book?
Honestly because I was in the final days of my annual reading challenge and I was up against it and needed to find some short books.
What did I find?
Questions to consider for my health and that of my community.
How to conduct a personal self care audit: sleep, movement, connection, nourishment, pleasure.
How to use tools such as breathwork and grounding. How to work through toxic relationships.
This book is very clear. You will get more questions than answers, and for those experiencing trauma they should seek professional help.
Was it new ideas? No
Was it accessible and useful? Yes
Honestly because I was in the final days of my annual reading challenge and I was up against it and needed to find some short books.
What did I find?
Questions to consider for my health and that of my community.
How to conduct a personal self care audit: sleep, movement, connection, nourishment, pleasure.
How to use tools such as breathwork and grounding. How to work through toxic relationships.
This book is very clear. You will get more questions than answers, and for those experiencing trauma they should seek professional help.
Was it new ideas? No
Was it accessible and useful? Yes
April 11, 2025
I found this book a refreshing way to view self-help/self-care. It questions some societal beliefs that we are taught, and suggests some good insights on how to find what works for us and how to view things more positively.
Personally, I feel the weight stigma section is something sooo important that does need to be shared; when patients are told to lose weight without any other health factors being considered. It’s something I have personally experienced!
Only 3 stars as the book was very short and I feel some of the aresa could have been discussed in further depth, and some other topics covered.
Personally, I feel the weight stigma section is something sooo important that does need to be shared; when patients are told to lose weight without any other health factors being considered. It’s something I have personally experienced!
Only 3 stars as the book was very short and I feel some of the aresa could have been discussed in further depth, and some other topics covered.
October 3, 2023
I was a bit nervous about reading this book because I've been in therapy for so many years, but this book is really for anyone, whether you've seen a therapist or not. The aspect I enjoyed most were the practical steps - I'm definitely an action-based person so this suited me beautifully. My copy is now covered in sticky notes and highligher and I refer back to it on a regular basis. Thank you Chris!!!
February 10, 2023
5/5 (because I feel validated)
"The key to wellbeing is the ability to turn toward your emotions with compassionate curiosity rather than a want to control"
"We could hold space for our grief because we gave it meaning. An emotion ceases to control us the moment we make it meaningful"
"When the challenges we face are unprecedented, our need for rest must also be unprecedented"
"The key to wellbeing is the ability to turn toward your emotions with compassionate curiosity rather than a want to control"
"We could hold space for our grief because we gave it meaning. An emotion ceases to control us the moment we make it meaningful"
"When the challenges we face are unprecedented, our need for rest must also be unprecedented"
May 25, 2025
Thought-provoking plus simple and short enough to present new ideas without getting overwhelmed.
Has reading this changed my life? Probably not. I am lucky enough not to be in a state of mental stress or seeking change. However, it was useful to do some of the exercises and take time to reflect on self, and I can see how it would be useful to others during periods of uncertainty.
Has reading this changed my life? Probably not. I am lucky enough not to be in a state of mental stress or seeking change. However, it was useful to do some of the exercises and take time to reflect on self, and I can see how it would be useful to others during periods of uncertainty.
February 8, 2023
Questions some of the accepted normals in our society including the relationship hierarchy that was rather devastatingly enforced by government during the pandemic. Also suggests asking ourselves questions to find what works for us rather than following the normals we have been taught.
February 26, 2023
Somehow encapsulates everything I’ve learnt so since 2020 about love, emotions, how to live. Gorgeous and insightful. My most highlighted book ever?
However it did end very abruptly in the kindle edition, I am wondering if some kind of conclusion is missing?
However it did end very abruptly in the kindle edition, I am wondering if some kind of conclusion is missing?
August 9, 2023
Good advice for contemporary life, though it probably needs a caveat to say some bits don’t apply if you have kids or other caring responsibilities (like how it’s in our control to get more sleep… if only!!).
August 14, 2023
I’m so grateful for all the love poured into this book by Chris Cheers. What a compassionate and stirring call to action to live our lives authentically.
This is an essential read. I was completely hooked in and couldn’t put it down.
This is an essential read. I was completely hooked in and couldn’t put it down.
January 9, 2024
I found his writing clear and honest with some very good pointers on change. I will browse through this again as there were some divergent ways of dealing with problem areas that challanged my own perceptions in a good way.
January 9, 2024
I like the message of taking space to rest, to discover what makes you happy.
But I may be all self-helped out. The chapter on love had me skip reading- and then the one on physical health had me skipping entirely 😭
But I may be all self-helped out. The chapter on love had me skip reading- and then the one on physical health had me skipping entirely 😭
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2024
I enjoyed listening to Chris read his book to me. I liked the emphasis on rest and listening to your body. Also the importance of feeling safe and that you belong. All really things you already know but Chris puts it in a slightly different way.
January 29, 2023
I really liked the practical elements in this book, they were easy to follow and manageable to do!
The book design is gorgeous as well.
The book design is gorgeous as well.
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