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Firstborn Girls: A Memoir
From award-winning author and creative writing teacher at Tulane University comes an intimate and powerful memoir exploring inherited trauma, family secrets, and the enduring bonds of love between mothers and daughters.
On her second birthday in 1967, Bernice McFadden died in a car crash near Detroit, only to be resuscitated after her mother pulled her from the flaming wreckage. Firstborn Girls traces her remarkable life from that moment up to the publication of her first novel, Sugar.
Growing up in 1980s Brooklyn, Bernice finds solace in books, summer trips to Barbados, and boarding school to escape her alcoholic father. Discovering the works of Alice Walker and Toni Morrison, she finally sees herself and her loved ones reflected in their stories of “messy, beautiful, joyful Black people.”
Interwoven with Bernice's personal journey is her family's history, beginning with her four-times enslaved great-grandmother Louisa Vicey Wilson in 1822 Hancock County, Georgia. Her descendants survived Reconstruction and Jim Crow, joined the Great Migration, and mourned Dr. King’s assassination during the Civil Rights Movement. These women's wisdom, secrets, and fierce love are passed down like Louisa's handmade quilt.
A memoir of many threads, Firstborn Girls is an extraordinarily moving portrait of a life shaped by family, history, and the drive to be something more.
On her second birthday in 1967, Bernice McFadden died in a car crash near Detroit, only to be resuscitated after her mother pulled her from the flaming wreckage. Firstborn Girls traces her remarkable life from that moment up to the publication of her first novel, Sugar.
Growing up in 1980s Brooklyn, Bernice finds solace in books, summer trips to Barbados, and boarding school to escape her alcoholic father. Discovering the works of Alice Walker and Toni Morrison, she finally sees herself and her loved ones reflected in their stories of “messy, beautiful, joyful Black people.”
Interwoven with Bernice's personal journey is her family's history, beginning with her four-times enslaved great-grandmother Louisa Vicey Wilson in 1822 Hancock County, Georgia. Her descendants survived Reconstruction and Jim Crow, joined the Great Migration, and mourned Dr. King’s assassination during the Civil Rights Movement. These women's wisdom, secrets, and fierce love are passed down like Louisa's handmade quilt.
A memoir of many threads, Firstborn Girls is an extraordinarily moving portrait of a life shaped by family, history, and the drive to be something more.
400 pages, Hardcover
First published March 4, 2025
116 people are currently reading
11211 people want to read
About the author
Bernice L. McFadden
21 books2,247 followersBERNICE L. McFADDEN is the author of ten critically acclaimed novels including Praise Song for the Butterflies (Long listed for the 2019 Women's Prize in Fiction ) The Book of Harlan (winner of a 2017 American Book Award and the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work, Fiction) Sugar, Loving Donovan, Nowhere Is a Place, The Warmest December, Gathering of Waters (a New York Times Editors’ Choice and one of the 100 Notable Books of 2012) and Glorious . She is a four-time Hurston/Wright Legacy Award finalist, as well as the recipient of four awards from the Black Caucus of the American Library Association (BCALA).
McFadden has also penned five novels under the pseudonym: Geneva Holliday
She is a visiting assistant professor of creative writing at Tulane University in New Orleans. She is at work on her sixteenth novel.
McFadden has also penned five novels under the pseudonym: Geneva Holliday
She is a visiting assistant professor of creative writing at Tulane University in New Orleans. She is at work on her sixteenth novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
September 22, 2024
One word: Courageous. Everyone is born into circumstances in which we have little control - we don’t choose our parents or family and deal and navigate as best we can. Bernice’s road was not easy and she shares her life’s journey (up to the point of Sugar (her first novel) acceptance by a major publisher) in this soul-baring and heart-jerking memoir.
She is a descendant of first born girls and this combination of gender and birth order in many cultures (unfortunately) is weighted and burdened with a set of responsibilities and expectations that rob many girls of their childhood, innocence, and destiny. Early in childhood, Bernice was thrust into the role of caretaker/substitute parent to younger siblings, referee in domestic disputes between her parents, and a victim of her father’s cruelty and terrorism. As if that wasn't enough of a burden, she survived life-threatening injuries in an explosive car accident by which she unfortunately suffered facial and bodily disfigurement which led to unwanted gawking (from adults and children alike), and a childhood of teasing and taunting – all without an emotional or psychological outlet.
As the title implies, she is not the only first born girl and the story is not just about her. She covers her mothers, aunts, cousins and their complicated interrelationships with each other and childhood challenges they faced. There are no crystal stairs in this story. Equally important is the men in their lives – the ones they chose and the ones that chose them – this can easily be a cautionary tale about the impact of who one partners and procreates with as well as how that person/man affects the children of/in these unions – yet it continues throughout generations.
Her story is buoyed with her inclusion of cultural and popular timestamps and historical events to echo that “history repeats itself” not only in our families but in the known universe. This makes her life “oh-so” relatable to those of us who are age-adjacent as we recall the music and settings (club scenes, clothing, concerts, hair styles, etc.), the “where were you when” a major event happened, and the familiar rites of passage that nearly everyone experiences (first kiss, peer pressures, schoolmates, best friend antics, etc). The story uses the simplistic, directed prose that is now her branded style of grounded storytelling which blends masterfully to produce an extremely moving memoir.
Laced with sincerity, candor, and wisdom, this is an award-worthy testament to the power of perseverance, faith and fortitude to pursue and live one’s dreams. Joy lives between the lines – but the women had to manifest it for themselves. A modern day classic - Firstborn Girls lives in the realm of the great ones like Heavy by Kiese Laymon and Hunger by Roxane Gay.
Thanks to the publisher, Dutton, and Edelweiss, for an opportunity to review.
She is a descendant of first born girls and this combination of gender and birth order in many cultures (unfortunately) is weighted and burdened with a set of responsibilities and expectations that rob many girls of their childhood, innocence, and destiny. Early in childhood, Bernice was thrust into the role of caretaker/substitute parent to younger siblings, referee in domestic disputes between her parents, and a victim of her father’s cruelty and terrorism. As if that wasn't enough of a burden, she survived life-threatening injuries in an explosive car accident by which she unfortunately suffered facial and bodily disfigurement which led to unwanted gawking (from adults and children alike), and a childhood of teasing and taunting – all without an emotional or psychological outlet.
As the title implies, she is not the only first born girl and the story is not just about her. She covers her mothers, aunts, cousins and their complicated interrelationships with each other and childhood challenges they faced. There are no crystal stairs in this story. Equally important is the men in their lives – the ones they chose and the ones that chose them – this can easily be a cautionary tale about the impact of who one partners and procreates with as well as how that person/man affects the children of/in these unions – yet it continues throughout generations.
Her story is buoyed with her inclusion of cultural and popular timestamps and historical events to echo that “history repeats itself” not only in our families but in the known universe. This makes her life “oh-so” relatable to those of us who are age-adjacent as we recall the music and settings (club scenes, clothing, concerts, hair styles, etc.), the “where were you when” a major event happened, and the familiar rites of passage that nearly everyone experiences (first kiss, peer pressures, schoolmates, best friend antics, etc). The story uses the simplistic, directed prose that is now her branded style of grounded storytelling which blends masterfully to produce an extremely moving memoir.
Laced with sincerity, candor, and wisdom, this is an award-worthy testament to the power of perseverance, faith and fortitude to pursue and live one’s dreams. Joy lives between the lines – but the women had to manifest it for themselves. A modern day classic - Firstborn Girls lives in the realm of the great ones like Heavy by Kiese Laymon and Hunger by Roxane Gay.
Thanks to the publisher, Dutton, and Edelweiss, for an opportunity to review.
November 18, 2024
Firstborn Girls is a deeply heartfelt memoir about family, identity, race, and history. McFadden explores her roots, dating back to her four-times great-grandmother in 1822, and uses the information she finds about her ancestors and about the history of Black people to trace a map of her own life. This is a uniquely beautiful book that not only includes the life and lessons of one woman but of many, each life offering its own trials and tribulations, wisdom and power. I loved the emphasis on McFadden’s ancestors and the connection that she so clearly feels to them—it added an additional special touch on this already stunning piece of work. I appreciated McFadden’s directness in her writing about her past and about the discrimination that non-white people and communities, specifically Black communities, have faced; she doesn’t sugar-coat and I admire that in an author and a memoir. Firstborn Girls is a story of survival and resiliency against all odds; a book that everyone should read.
Thank you Dutton Books for the early copy in exchange for an honest review. Available Mar. 4 2025
Thank you Dutton Books for the early copy in exchange for an honest review. Available Mar. 4 2025
June 3, 2025
What a life! She tells it all. The violence. The hurt. The pain. The love. The dark. The light. And her journey to the publication of Sugar. That most wonderful novel that ushered her in to literary stardom. I really can’t think of any book that Ms. McFadden has penned that hasn’t been 🔥. And so this memoir is no exception.
Her prodigious writing talent is on display throughout the telling of her story. Kudos Ms. McFadden!!!
Her prodigious writing talent is on display throughout the telling of her story. Kudos Ms. McFadden!!!
July 8, 2025
I really liked this. It was nice to read a literary memoir after a couple of not-so-literary ones. It’s about Bernice McFadden’s life growing up in a troubled family; and about her family history in New York, Georgia, Barbados, and elsewhere; and about the perils of being Black in America. She weaves all this together well. As an experienced novelist, she’s naturally a strong storyteller, and I read the book quickly, interested in her own and her relatives’ stories. And she has a strong voice, which is fun to read—you can easily envision how she would come across in person. I also appreciated how much she wove in of the larger context, how she draws attention to rather than ignoring the differences between the decades of her youth (she was born in 1965) and today.
If I have a criticism, it’s that the memoir does seem a bit fictionalized in places: reconstructing dialogue is one thing and fits with her storytelling style, but I did question some of these details of relatives’ last moments. Nonetheless, overall I found this well-written, insightful and authentic. Now I’m interested in trying her fiction.
If I have a criticism, it’s that the memoir does seem a bit fictionalized in places: reconstructing dialogue is one thing and fits with her storytelling style, but I did question some of these details of relatives’ last moments. Nonetheless, overall I found this well-written, insightful and authentic. Now I’m interested in trying her fiction.
September 16, 2024
What a gift Bernice McFadden has given her many fans with this heartfelt memoir. With intellectual rigor, unstinting honesty, and boundless empathy, McFadden explores the legacy of her chaotic and often violent upbringing and reveals how she fulfilled her destiny to become a writer with the ever-present support of the angels of her ancestors. By weaving historical and cultural events throughout the multi-generational story of her family, particularly its first born girls, McFadden situates her specific experience within larger narratives of race and nationality. I felt I was hearing the voice of a dear friend the entire time I was reading this memoir.
March 9, 2025
A memoir that reads like fiction. Insight into the life of the First Born Girls, the parentified child, the blossoming woman. I enjoyed learning about Bernice Mcfadden and I appreciated her direct style it felt like an auntie was just telling stories. I literally had no idea that this was a memoir even though it is plain on the cover- I just knew if she wrote it, i wanted to read it. I'm glad I did.
March 11, 2025
FIRSTBORN GIRLS: A MEMOIR by Bernice L. McFadden
Thank you @duttonbooks & @prhaudio for my #gifted copies.
"From award-winning author and creative writing teacher at Tulane University comes an intimate and powerful memoir exploring inherited trauma, family secrets, and the enduring bonds of love between mothers and daughters."
Firstborn Girls blends McFadden's personal history with the stories of the firstborn women who came before her, stitching together generations of strength, trauma, and love. From surviving a near-death experience as a toddler, to dealing with an abusive drunk of a father, to being "parentified" during her tween years, to unfortunate experiences with boys/men, to finding solace in books and becoming a writer herself, McFadden's journey is one of resilience and strength. While there are heavy themes explored here, it's laced with humor and rich storytelling, making this both empowering and entertaining. I was especially struck by McFadden's level of maturity and self-preservation at such a young age. Imagine choosing boarding school for yourself at the age of 13. It's no wonder this intelligent young girl grew into the brilliant author and educator we know today. A powerful, candid, beautifully written memoir, enriched by the impeccable narration of Robin Miles.
Whether you're a Bernice McFadden fan or not, I absolutely recommend this one to memoir lovers, or anyone who enjoys a family saga.
🤳🏼 The March @diversespines book club pick!
📌 Available now!
Thank you @duttonbooks & @prhaudio for my #gifted copies.
"From award-winning author and creative writing teacher at Tulane University comes an intimate and powerful memoir exploring inherited trauma, family secrets, and the enduring bonds of love between mothers and daughters."
Firstborn Girls blends McFadden's personal history with the stories of the firstborn women who came before her, stitching together generations of strength, trauma, and love. From surviving a near-death experience as a toddler, to dealing with an abusive drunk of a father, to being "parentified" during her tween years, to unfortunate experiences with boys/men, to finding solace in books and becoming a writer herself, McFadden's journey is one of resilience and strength. While there are heavy themes explored here, it's laced with humor and rich storytelling, making this both empowering and entertaining. I was especially struck by McFadden's level of maturity and self-preservation at such a young age. Imagine choosing boarding school for yourself at the age of 13. It's no wonder this intelligent young girl grew into the brilliant author and educator we know today. A powerful, candid, beautifully written memoir, enriched by the impeccable narration of Robin Miles.
Whether you're a Bernice McFadden fan or not, I absolutely recommend this one to memoir lovers, or anyone who enjoys a family saga.
🤳🏼 The March @diversespines book club pick!
📌 Available now!
February 20, 2025
On September 27, 1967, award-winning author and creative writing teacher Bernice L. McFadden died at the age of two years old. She was resuscitated and rescued from a flaming car wreckage. In this new memoir, she chronicles her life from that moment to when she published her first novel, Sugar. Heavily influenced by Alice Walker and Toni Morrison, Bernice writes with care about her descendants, self and offspring.
Firstborn Girls is a true story of mother-daughter bonds, generational trauma, inherited family secrets and fierce love. Bernice takes us from the very beginning of her angelcestors to motherhood. The setting spans from Detroit to Brooklyn to Barbados. It is moreso a family history in novel format than a personal memoir, yet it beautifully defines the woman Bernice L. McFadden has become based on her family's past. It celebrates Black families while acknowledging historical events, much like a handmade quilt passed down through generations.
I recommend Firstborn Girls for fans of literature and memoirs.
Happy Early Pub Day, Bernice L. McFadden! Firstborn Girls will be available Tuesday, March 4.
Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. ~LiteraryMarie
Firstborn Girls is a true story of mother-daughter bonds, generational trauma, inherited family secrets and fierce love. Bernice takes us from the very beginning of her angelcestors to motherhood. The setting spans from Detroit to Brooklyn to Barbados. It is moreso a family history in novel format than a personal memoir, yet it beautifully defines the woman Bernice L. McFadden has become based on her family's past. It celebrates Black families while acknowledging historical events, much like a handmade quilt passed down through generations.
I recommend Firstborn Girls for fans of literature and memoirs.
Happy Early Pub Day, Bernice L. McFadden! Firstborn Girls will be available Tuesday, March 4.
Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. ~LiteraryMarie
March 24, 2025
I adored this book.
I rarely read memoirs, but Bernice L. McFadden is one of my favorite authors, so I didn’t think twice about reading this one.
So many elements of her story resonated with me – her family dynamics, her interest in researching her family lineage and hearing the stories passed down from her relatives, her love of books and reading from a very young age – the list goes on. The title is what initially caught my attention, being that I too am a firstborn girl; however, this book explores so much more. She takes the time to cover various historical events that she either lived through or were relevant to the people, places or circumstances in her life. She doesn’t shy away from talking about difficult topics such as domestic abuse that occurred in her own family. She also shows us what it looks like to continue to pursue a dream even when it seems as if no one else believes in you or wants to give you a chance.
In this memoir Bernice shares her love and admiration for the authors that influenced her most: Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, J. California Cooper – just to name a few. I think what warmed my heart the most while reading this book was the fact that her name is now included with those same revered authors when discussing the greatest black female writers of our time.
I rarely read memoirs, but Bernice L. McFadden is one of my favorite authors, so I didn’t think twice about reading this one.
So many elements of her story resonated with me – her family dynamics, her interest in researching her family lineage and hearing the stories passed down from her relatives, her love of books and reading from a very young age – the list goes on. The title is what initially caught my attention, being that I too am a firstborn girl; however, this book explores so much more. She takes the time to cover various historical events that she either lived through or were relevant to the people, places or circumstances in her life. She doesn’t shy away from talking about difficult topics such as domestic abuse that occurred in her own family. She also shows us what it looks like to continue to pursue a dream even when it seems as if no one else believes in you or wants to give you a chance.
In this memoir Bernice shares her love and admiration for the authors that influenced her most: Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, J. California Cooper – just to name a few. I think what warmed my heart the most while reading this book was the fact that her name is now included with those same revered authors when discussing the greatest black female writers of our time.
April 26, 2025
To start - I love Bernice McFadden. She makes my top 10 list of favorite authors.
But this is not the book I expected and that is my fault. I don't read a lot about a book before diving in so I can go in open. But I did think that I was going to read a book about her writing journey and learn more about that part of her life. Instead, I got a 400 page book that started from inception to just before she published her first novel. It was one of the most traumatic books ever. It was 40 chapters of abuse, death, and disappointment.
It felt relentless through a lot of it. That said, that's Bernice's life and she can only write about the life that she lived. I did appreciate how she interspersed historical events throughout the book, but I never quite knew where we were going and what the true true purpose was of the book. It just felt like a very long recounting of the worst things that had happened to her and her family.
And her mother - my GOODNESS. I know she's a victim too but Vivian pissed me off to no end.
What got me through the book was the hope that we would get to the part where Bernice talks about her writing journey and unfortunately that didn't really happen until around chapter 37 and was never fully centered. So if you're going in for that I would say save yourself a lot of time.
But this is not the book I expected and that is my fault. I don't read a lot about a book before diving in so I can go in open. But I did think that I was going to read a book about her writing journey and learn more about that part of her life. Instead, I got a 400 page book that started from inception to just before she published her first novel. It was one of the most traumatic books ever. It was 40 chapters of abuse, death, and disappointment.
It felt relentless through a lot of it. That said, that's Bernice's life and she can only write about the life that she lived. I did appreciate how she interspersed historical events throughout the book, but I never quite knew where we were going and what the true true purpose was of the book. It just felt like a very long recounting of the worst things that had happened to her and her family.
And her mother - my GOODNESS. I know she's a victim too but Vivian pissed me off to no end.
What got me through the book was the hope that we would get to the part where Bernice talks about her writing journey and unfortunately that didn't really happen until around chapter 37 and was never fully centered. So if you're going in for that I would say save yourself a lot of time.
July 11, 2025
3.75
It is always good to read about a woman who rises above her circumstances and even better when her aspirations are literary, and she is still able to see the beauty in her fractured upbringing AND one of the themes is the power of first born daughters.
It is always good to read about a woman who rises above her circumstances and even better when her aspirations are literary, and she is still able to see the beauty in her fractured upbringing AND one of the themes is the power of first born daughters.
March 4, 2025
Thank you to @duttonbooks for my gifted copy and #prhaudiopartner @prhaudio for my gifted ALC.
it’s no secret that I’m not a huge non-fiction girlie; however, I love a good memoir. I knew I had to read Firstborn Girls! This memoir is something special! It’s written so vividly and with such heartfelt storytelling that I sometimes forgot it wasn’t a work of fiction. It left a lasting impression on me for personal reasons. McFadden’s story is honest and raw, from the accident in her childhood that marked her life internally and externally into her inspiring journey of perseverance, to eventually becoming a bestselling author. I chuckled reading how she first began writing her spicy stories at a young age. Also, reading/hearing how one of my favorite of hers, Sugar came to the page.
The memoir’s power comes from how McFadden shares the events that shaped her life. Her story deeply connects with experiences families to me and I am sure many Black families. It touches on themes of generational trauma and struggles passed down, blending these into a moving memoir. It doesn’t just tell her personal story, but reflects shared histories and cultural experiences I think.
🎧The audiobook is outstanding, with amazing narration. It completely brought me to McFadden’s world making me feel as though she was personally telling me their story. It also add an emotional layer and connections to this writer we know and love! A must read/listen!
it’s no secret that I’m not a huge non-fiction girlie; however, I love a good memoir. I knew I had to read Firstborn Girls! This memoir is something special! It’s written so vividly and with such heartfelt storytelling that I sometimes forgot it wasn’t a work of fiction. It left a lasting impression on me for personal reasons. McFadden’s story is honest and raw, from the accident in her childhood that marked her life internally and externally into her inspiring journey of perseverance, to eventually becoming a bestselling author. I chuckled reading how she first began writing her spicy stories at a young age. Also, reading/hearing how one of my favorite of hers, Sugar came to the page.
The memoir’s power comes from how McFadden shares the events that shaped her life. Her story deeply connects with experiences families to me and I am sure many Black families. It touches on themes of generational trauma and struggles passed down, blending these into a moving memoir. It doesn’t just tell her personal story, but reflects shared histories and cultural experiences I think.
🎧The audiobook is outstanding, with amazing narration. It completely brought me to McFadden’s world making me feel as though she was personally telling me their story. It also add an emotional layer and connections to this writer we know and love! A must read/listen!
April 9, 2025
FIRSTBORN GIRLS GETS ALL THE STARS!!!
Whew. This book is a revelation. A balm. A mirror. A call to tell the stories.
Bernice L. McFadden has long been a favorite for me, but Firstborn Girls reached into the marrow of my spirit and sang a song I needed to hear. I’m the firstborn girl of a firstborn girl of a firstborn girl of a firstborn girl, and this story felt like home. A home full of ghosts, grace, grit, and goddesses.
To see Bernice’s yearning to know and understand her family - no matter how fractured or flawed they may be - felt like a hand holding mine. Her reverence for history’s rhymes, her sacred noticing of numbers (she finished the book on my daddy’s birthday last year 😭💫), her deep listening to the whispers of her ancestors…every page echoed something I’ve been aching to understand in myself and to bear witness to on a page.
This book didn’t just inspire me, it anointed me. It will be a guiding text as I continue writing the stories I was born to tell. Stories carried in the bones and blood of firstborn girls. Of my firstborn girls. The story my mother said she dreams she will read one day soon.🥹
Thank you, Bernice L. McFadden for this book. You are part of my literary lineage. And I will honor it with every word I write.
Whew. This book is a revelation. A balm. A mirror. A call to tell the stories.
Bernice L. McFadden has long been a favorite for me, but Firstborn Girls reached into the marrow of my spirit and sang a song I needed to hear. I’m the firstborn girl of a firstborn girl of a firstborn girl of a firstborn girl, and this story felt like home. A home full of ghosts, grace, grit, and goddesses.
To see Bernice’s yearning to know and understand her family - no matter how fractured or flawed they may be - felt like a hand holding mine. Her reverence for history’s rhymes, her sacred noticing of numbers (she finished the book on my daddy’s birthday last year 😭💫), her deep listening to the whispers of her ancestors…every page echoed something I’ve been aching to understand in myself and to bear witness to on a page.
This book didn’t just inspire me, it anointed me. It will be a guiding text as I continue writing the stories I was born to tell. Stories carried in the bones and blood of firstborn girls. Of my firstborn girls. The story my mother said she dreams she will read one day soon.🥹
Thank you, Bernice L. McFadden for this book. You are part of my literary lineage. And I will honor it with every word I write.
May 17, 2025
Bernice McFadden is truly a master storyteller, and Firstborn Girls proves that her gift extends far beyond fiction. This memoir was a fascinating and deeply engaging read from beginning to end.
I had no idea the extent of the trauma that has shaped her life. And yet, she continues to not only survive—but to thrive—and to share her powerful voice with the world. That alone is remarkable. Her honesty, vulnerability, and resilience leap off the page.
I don’t have much more to say other than this: Firstborn Girls moved me. It reminded me why I love her work so much. A solid five stars—without question.
I had no idea the extent of the trauma that has shaped her life. And yet, she continues to not only survive—but to thrive—and to share her powerful voice with the world. That alone is remarkable. Her honesty, vulnerability, and resilience leap off the page.
I don’t have much more to say other than this: Firstborn Girls moved me. It reminded me why I love her work so much. A solid five stars—without question.
March 17, 2025
Inspiring life journey! 🤩 Loved the audiobook narrated by Bernice herself. The storytelling felt like a fiction novel—so captivating! Ms. McFadden's honesty about her family's generational trauma (Mom, Grandma, aunts) and its impact on her is powerful.
June 21, 2025
It was a slow read
It was just not what I imagined. It was a very slow burn. I found it hard to get through. I did however enjoy her successful ending.
It was just not what I imagined. It was a very slow burn. I found it hard to get through. I did however enjoy her successful ending.
July 26, 2025
“This is legacy literature about me and mine born into a world run by them and theirs.”
Blessed with the ability to trace her ancestry back to her fourth great grandparents on both sides, Bernice McFadden has written an incredible memoir. Though struggles and hardships abound, the “first born girls” in the family support and rely on each other. McFadden is surrounded by people who love her and help her find her way around those who don’t.
She has included several historical references that coincide with the timeframe of her growing up and provides notes to support them. The MOVE bombing in 1985 is one example. Though I knew about the devastating bombing, I did not know that the remains from two of the children were kept by the University of Pennsylvania and Princeton unbeknown to the family and revealed in 2021. They were returned to the family in 2022!!! History on repeat.
I have read and loved all of McFadden’s novels and plan to reread Loving Donovan (which I recall bringing me to tears). I’ve also been inspired to rejoin Audible just to hear her latest short story.
Blessed with the ability to trace her ancestry back to her fourth great grandparents on both sides, Bernice McFadden has written an incredible memoir. Though struggles and hardships abound, the “first born girls” in the family support and rely on each other. McFadden is surrounded by people who love her and help her find her way around those who don’t.
She has included several historical references that coincide with the timeframe of her growing up and provides notes to support them. The MOVE bombing in 1985 is one example. Though I knew about the devastating bombing, I did not know that the remains from two of the children were kept by the University of Pennsylvania and Princeton unbeknown to the family and revealed in 2021. They were returned to the family in 2022!!! History on repeat.
I have read and loved all of McFadden’s novels and plan to reread Loving Donovan (which I recall bringing me to tears). I’ve also been inspired to rejoin Audible just to hear her latest short story.
November 6, 2025
I Forgot It was a Memoir!
The book, this tale is it reads just as that, A good story. The writing style is phenomenal. The twist turns, rise and drops, like the perfect roller-coaster ride. It does not initiate a climb, but slowly careens on inclination.
In the midst I'm rooting for the grandma to leave Robert, not understanding why the story just won't go there. I cheer for the sisters, cry at the loss of life, wag my finger at the number of single mothers at a young age.
This is to say the style makes you root for the underdog pray for sins, celebrate the wins.
Once I get back to book reality that this is Professors McFadden 's tale, I embrace even more all the above emotions as she gives yet another keyhole vision into Black Life in America.
The memoir is about family, that which she knows and most of she nor her anglecestors have ever known. The fabric explores identity of self, sex, gender, relationship, and position in the world. The tales of race and how race plays a factor in how one is perceived and thoughts even with the best of intentions. The history of her family is tied to history of US, Black, African, civil and Island. McFadden back to 1822 as best she could with very little information, and uses the information she finds about her ancestors and about the history to vision map her own life.
The book, this tale is it reads just as that, A good story. The writing style is phenomenal. The twist turns, rise and drops, like the perfect roller-coaster ride. It does not initiate a climb, but slowly careens on inclination.
In the midst I'm rooting for the grandma to leave Robert, not understanding why the story just won't go there. I cheer for the sisters, cry at the loss of life, wag my finger at the number of single mothers at a young age.
This is to say the style makes you root for the underdog pray for sins, celebrate the wins.
Once I get back to book reality that this is Professors McFadden 's tale, I embrace even more all the above emotions as she gives yet another keyhole vision into Black Life in America.
The memoir is about family, that which she knows and most of she nor her anglecestors have ever known. The fabric explores identity of self, sex, gender, relationship, and position in the world. The tales of race and how race plays a factor in how one is perceived and thoughts even with the best of intentions. The history of her family is tied to history of US, Black, African, civil and Island. McFadden back to 1822 as best she could with very little information, and uses the information she finds about her ancestors and about the history to vision map her own life.
April 21, 2025
This book brought to mind the quote, “Here’s to strong women: May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.” I wasn’t familiar with the author before reading this memoir, but she now has a fan in me. Her storytelling is both engaging and poignant as she traces her family’s history—placing a powerful spotlight on the women across generations, including herself. These women lived through slavery, wars, pandemics, racial injustice, assassinations, and pivotal moments in the fight for women’s rights. The result is a rich tapestry of personalities, each shaped by their time, and a moving portrayal of how resilience and life lessons were passed down through the generations.
June 29, 2025
3.5 rounded up
I liked this book and enjoyed reading it with my book club but I wanted so much more.
I felt like a lot of the anecdotes ended on cliffhangers and the first born girl theme wasn’t consistent through out the book. A lot of her coming of ages experiences were centered around the men in her life (father, brother, boyfriends) but then they kinda phased out of the book completely about 75% in with little to no closure on their relationships.
Idk the ending didn’t really wrap things up for me but I love the way it was written. Loved the historical elements of the book but I did not need to know so much about all the extended characters in her family.
I liked this book and enjoyed reading it with my book club but I wanted so much more.
I felt like a lot of the anecdotes ended on cliffhangers and the first born girl theme wasn’t consistent through out the book. A lot of her coming of ages experiences were centered around the men in her life (father, brother, boyfriends) but then they kinda phased out of the book completely about 75% in with little to no closure on their relationships.
Idk the ending didn’t really wrap things up for me but I love the way it was written. Loved the historical elements of the book but I did not need to know so much about all the extended characters in her family.
March 18, 2025
I've enjoyed McFadden's novels and was excited for the opportunity to read her memoir. She leans heavy on the importance of the women in her life and the lessons they have taught her on survival, perseverance, self-worth and love. She speaks to the impact of violence in her life and the way that it leads to a long lived trauma response. Words have always been both an anchor and a guide to her - and hearing about how books have been a part of her identity also really resonated. I admire her courage and commitment to forge her own path and speak her truth.
July 28, 2025
Calling this a memoir sells the book a bit short. I loved the black history lesson interwoven into the story. There are so many things that I didn't know. There is so much history that is being erased before our very eyes. Sugar is one of my favorite books. Bernice Mcfadden is a masterful stortyteller.
November 5, 2025
I listened to this book on a drive to & from DC and loved it all the way thru. Memoirs are my jam and this one had vignettes of applicable history in the mix too, which made it even better in my eyes. The author’s story is woven with her ancestors’ in such a perfect way. Her father though…man, he was hard one to stomach. It was beyond me to understand why he was still a part of the family most of the way thru. But that’s the reality of memoir; you’re supposed to get the unvarnished truth. It was nice to get a tiny glimpse of his humanity toward the end of the book. I’m very interested to read more by this author.
April 23, 2025
McFadden tells it all. The journey through the family tree of these strong determined women is better than any soap opera drama you’ve ever watched; a long time fan and reader of McFadden’s this memoir storytelling pulls you and never lets go. Highly recommended.
July 23, 2025
I liked this book a lot. Bernice talked about her family’s history of trauma as well as how blacks have been mistreated over the years in our country. What was hard for me was the jumping between her story and a family member’s. I often had to go back to figure out who we were talking about.
August 23, 2025
I do not read a lot of memoirs, but this book, for some reason, called to me on the shelf at the library, so I decided on a whim to pick it up, and wow! I couldn't put it down, Bernice has such an amazing way with words, I could feel her journey, all the highs and lows. Eye opening and a beautiful piece of literature. I highly recommend this book and will be checking out some of her other work
Want to read
December 8, 2024#GoodreadsGiveaway
April 23, 2025
This read more like historical fiction than a memoir, but I did enjoy reading about Bernice's life and look forward to reading more of her work.
June 3, 2025
Impressively Splendid!!! 🤗
July 9, 2025
This book is an absolute masterpiece. So much history, both personal and worldly. So much emotion. So much pain. And, most importantly and hardest to master, so much compassion and empathy, both for her family and for herself. I somehow stumbled upon this without having read the author's novels and now can't wait to dive into those as well.
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