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Neither-Nor: A Young Australian's Experience with Deafness
The Fifth Volume in the Deaf Lives Series
Born in Melbourne, Australia, in 1974, Paul Jacobs lost his mother when he was three months old. When he was five, he lost most of his hearing. These two defining events formed the core of his being. He spent the first two decades of his life “coming to terms with being neither Deaf nor hearing — a neither/nor, an in-between — and a person with a social identity that had yet to be invented.” His memoir, Neither—Nor: A Young Australian’s Experience with Deafness, recounts this journey.
Jacobs excelled in sports and the classroom, but he never lost awareness of how he was seen as different, often in cruel or patronizing ways. His father, a child psychologist, headed a long list of supportive people in his life, including his Uncle Brian, his itinerant teacher of the deaf Mrs. Carey, a gifted art teacher Mrs. Klein, who demanded and received from him first-rate work, a notetaker Rita, and Bella, his first girlfriend. Jacobs eventually attended university, where he graduated with honors. He also entered the Deaf world when he starred on the Deaf Australian World Cup cricket team. However, he never learned sign language, and frequently noted the lack of an adult role model for “neither—nors” such as himself.
Still emotionally adrift in 1998, Jacobs toured Europe, then volunteered to tutor deaf residents at Court Grange College in Devon, England. There, he discovered a darker reality for some deaf individuals — hearing loss complicated by schizophrenia, Bonnevie-Ullrich Syndrome, and other conditions. After returning to Australia, Jacobs recognized what he had gleaned from his long journey: “Power comes from within, not without. Sure, deafness makes one prone to be stigmatized. Yet having a disability can act as a stimulus for greater personal growth, richer experiences, and more genuine relationships.”
Born in Melbourne, Australia, in 1974, Paul Jacobs lost his mother when he was three months old. When he was five, he lost most of his hearing. These two defining events formed the core of his being. He spent the first two decades of his life “coming to terms with being neither Deaf nor hearing — a neither/nor, an in-between — and a person with a social identity that had yet to be invented.” His memoir, Neither—Nor: A Young Australian’s Experience with Deafness, recounts this journey.
Jacobs excelled in sports and the classroom, but he never lost awareness of how he was seen as different, often in cruel or patronizing ways. His father, a child psychologist, headed a long list of supportive people in his life, including his Uncle Brian, his itinerant teacher of the deaf Mrs. Carey, a gifted art teacher Mrs. Klein, who demanded and received from him first-rate work, a notetaker Rita, and Bella, his first girlfriend. Jacobs eventually attended university, where he graduated with honors. He also entered the Deaf world when he starred on the Deaf Australian World Cup cricket team. However, he never learned sign language, and frequently noted the lack of an adult role model for “neither—nors” such as himself.
Still emotionally adrift in 1998, Jacobs toured Europe, then volunteered to tutor deaf residents at Court Grange College in Devon, England. There, he discovered a darker reality for some deaf individuals — hearing loss complicated by schizophrenia, Bonnevie-Ullrich Syndrome, and other conditions. After returning to Australia, Jacobs recognized what he had gleaned from his long journey: “Power comes from within, not without. Sure, deafness makes one prone to be stigmatized. Yet having a disability can act as a stimulus for greater personal growth, richer experiences, and more genuine relationships.”
213 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 4, 2008
I loved this book! Paul writes about his experiences as an oral deaf man growing up in Australia. It is very much a coming of age book, depicting his experiences in communication challenges, family, school and career. I really identified with the way that he described how he communicates by speaking and lipreading and appreciated his perspectives on life...
He was fortunate to have had some wonderful teachers and role models, and also to be an incredible athlete which opened doors to some fun and growing experiences.
This is a must read... and I'd love to discuss this book in a book club setting. It was more revealing than Josh Swiller's Unheard - in that Paul writes more about his daily life. The reader gains an extra appreciation for what it means to live with hearing loss.
He was fortunate to have had some wonderful teachers and role models, and also to be an incredible athlete which opened doors to some fun and growing experiences.
This is a must read... and I'd love to discuss this book in a book club setting. It was more revealing than Josh Swiller's Unheard - in that Paul writes more about his daily life. The reader gains an extra appreciation for what it means to live with hearing loss.
June 17, 2026
Storygraph - 3.5
I read this because I'm part of a program for students with hearing loss involved in STEM. I enjoyed it for both the parts I found relatable and for the deeper insight into the life of someone with more profound hearing loss than I have. I think simultaneously I didn't necessarily get as much "comfort" out of the book as my program director perhaps intended, because I've barely encountered instances in which people have been ableist about my hearing loss, largely because I can get along pretty well most of the time. I think additionally I found it interesting to see how much disability advocacy and acceptance has evolved in the almost 20 years since the book was published, as I think more people with hearing loss receive the help and understanding that they need. There were times where I didn't love the narrative voice of the author, and I didn't like how often it fluctuated from rather meaningful and impactful prose to a less enjoyable and personally repellant diary tone. I think a large part of that came from the discussion of very male centered issues, that I'm sure young men would relate to considerably more than me. I would say that this is a highly valuable book to read as part of a repertoire of books about the lived experiences of people with hearing loss, especially for people with hearing loss or looking to pursue careers that connect to hearing loss.
I read this because I'm part of a program for students with hearing loss involved in STEM. I enjoyed it for both the parts I found relatable and for the deeper insight into the life of someone with more profound hearing loss than I have. I think simultaneously I didn't necessarily get as much "comfort" out of the book as my program director perhaps intended, because I've barely encountered instances in which people have been ableist about my hearing loss, largely because I can get along pretty well most of the time. I think additionally I found it interesting to see how much disability advocacy and acceptance has evolved in the almost 20 years since the book was published, as I think more people with hearing loss receive the help and understanding that they need. There were times where I didn't love the narrative voice of the author, and I didn't like how often it fluctuated from rather meaningful and impactful prose to a less enjoyable and personally repellant diary tone. I think a large part of that came from the discussion of very male centered issues, that I'm sure young men would relate to considerably more than me. I would say that this is a highly valuable book to read as part of a repertoire of books about the lived experiences of people with hearing loss, especially for people with hearing loss or looking to pursue careers that connect to hearing loss.
November 4, 2014
This is one of the best memoirs I have ever read, and I look forward to the day that I get to meet Dr. Jacobs to learn more about his experiences. He writes so elegantly about his experiences of being deaf since a child and all the troubles that he has been through. Even as he gets older, he finds more problems than the awkward stage of making friends. School, sports, relationships are a lot to take on for any individual, but Dr. Jacobs paints a picture of what it is like being deaf going through all the normal experiences. Dr. Jacobs grew up without a mother, and his father did everything in his power to make sure that his son lived a good life, not being left out from anything that his peers went through. Even though he went through a lot of pain with Bella, different jobs like the "tutoring" job in Devon, and many deaths of beloved family members, he still held his high up because of the support that he received from is father and friends. Dr. Jacobs feels that he is neither-nor, not deaf or hearing because he fits into both worlds, yet not at all. This outlook teaches readers a lot about what kind of person he is because of how he lived his life thus far. He continues to experience the world around him, as mentioned in his book, he traveled to Europe and fell in love with the cultures. He is now in the United States, continuing to explore much of the world by teaching others about his deafness. Although most of the time he longs to fit in, he also wants to people to be aware of deafness because it is invisible. Also, he is following in his mother's footsteps of seeing the world, even though he never really knew her except for the risk she was willing to take to have him. The love and devotion that Dr. Jacobs received throughout his life has helped him become who he is today, a great writer and researcher. He is soon coming out with his second book, which I look forward to read.
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Want to Read
August 5, 2014great parts in book to relate to my hard of hearing students
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews