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I'll Miss Myself
A man using a social media app that reaches across dimensions to talk to himself in different timelines, discovers some of his problems are universal...and some are not...
At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
26 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 10, 2024
5 people are currently reading
228 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
January 7, 2025
It is important to note that most of the themes explored in this book deal with sensitive subject matters. My review, therefore, touches on these topics as well. Many people might find the book's subject matters & those detailed in my review overwhelming. I suggest you steer clear of both if this is the case. Please note that from this point forward I will be writing about matters that contain reflections on grief, suicidal ideations, self-harm, & others.
The Universe, a plaything for the Gods, hosts the minuscule & insignificant human experience in its folds. The days & passing hours riddle the tongue of clicks, licks, flips, & whistles; Who has the cunning coin of knowledge to share among us?
As humanity has explored technological advancements & watched their world grow into multiverses unnamed, the species has been left to fend for themselves, alone. Too many instances account for secondary support, the wave of nostalgia tightening the chest as though we had been here before. What if somewhere along the way, the path we chose, that fateful fork in the road, split the atom & life as we knew it left us wandering in the opposite direction?
The main character of this story finds himself as many people do, lost, alone, & disempowered due to circumstances outside of his control. The story explores a single night in Shaw’s life as he scrolls endlessly on an app that mirrors his life & shows him the lives of all his alternative existences.
It is not made clear to the reader whether the program was set in place so that individuals could feel connected to themselves or whether the app’s creation was to segregate individuals so that they grew distanced from reality, one scroll at a time. Regardless, Shaw realizes that the app shows him only negative things. His alternative selves argue amongst each other & never have anything positive to say. Will readers feel empathy towards Shaw or will they interpret his need for realism in the multiverse as ignorant & wasteful?
I choose this story after a long bout of days without books. My summer has been long. The adventure of these past months has brought me to the doorstep of people I never would have met otherwise & the fluke nature of change that accompanied me as I professed my desire for more found me without a book in my hand day in, day out.
Nearing the end of the sultry heated sun, I found myself longing for the nocturnal companion I carried with me during the day. Finding myself back amongst the talented authors that publish in Reactor Magazine, I selected at random & made my way back into the boots that allowed me to walk through so many stories.
In essence, this is a story about inner turmoil. The content warning that I included at the beginning of this review should be heeded. Though the sliver of demise is not necessarily written about graphically, the characters in this story deal innately with suicidal ideations & self-harm; some of them suffer the consequences of these attempts, across the spectrum of outcomes. Readers will need to approach this story with an air of caution. Though Wiswell does not write with explicit language, each facet of the characters’ lives is shadowed by a monster whose name is their own.
What I found most enjoyable about this story wasn’t exactly what I found within the written word. The style was colourful in demented purples & greys, but Shaw felt like a character who was basked in an orange that fought to transform into yellow. Every day he found himself caught up in the cycle of his small life; every moment offering him the possibility of obsession & masochism.
Shaw as a character is flawed & this is not to say that his mental turmoil makes him a man less deserving of love & kindness than anyone else. Rather, his flaw is his self-doubt. Whereas the main character’s introduction to the story allows readers the chance to peek into his life, his world is not as small as he has made it.
Readers cannot necessarily fault Shaw for the way that he lives. In truth, many people will find that the narrator is stuck in a cycle that he does not have the energy to question. Some days it might feel as though he has the gumption to push back—such as when he begins messaging other versions of himself on the multiverse app. Other times, it is clear that Shaw lives in a world that overstimulates him & offers him no opportunity to bloom into the garden where he rests.
As always, I must ask what the purpose of this story is; What is the author trying to convey & to whom? Certainly, readers may approach this story & decode the obvious similarities that exist between our two worlds. Shaw’s near addiction to his phone & the multiverse app act as a time suck. Readers may see themselves reflected in this or be ignorant of the space stations that rest in their own palms as they read the story & possibly, this review.
It would not be wrong to halt analysis here. Wiswell has incorporated the very clear facets of the human experience into the days & nights of Shaw’s story. Readers may decide whether they deem this an authentic representation or not.
On the other side of the coin, Shaw represents a loss of purpose that might be a consequence of his mental illness. I will not grant myself the liberty of diagnosis Shaw as I am not a psychologist or a doctor in any form. Yet, I found myself drawing from the narrative in the hopes of being able to offer Shaw some form of reprieve or perhaps, to point him the way out.
Many people may empathize with the main character’s routine. He is away during the day & checks his phone as a means of keeping up to date while also granting himself the mental pause that he feels he needs—or is addicted to seeking. When the lights dim & night draws near, Shaw repeats the pattern, spending all night obsessively ruminating on the anonymous lives of other people.
I specifically use the term anonymous to describe the users in the multiverse as the term can be just as easily used to reflect the non-factual practice of doom scrolling. One does not know the people they see online any more than they know the person they pass on the crosswalk.
Shaw’s experience differs only slightly from the one that the reader might experience. For him, the app he uses is filled with other versions of himself, or so he believes. What if Shaw is trapped in an orbit that circles his essence, preventing him from viewing himself as the unique individual he is?
This question might appear silly yet I ask it earnestly. When Shaw logs on to the app he compares himself to others & their achievements. He would not be the only one who had a fascination with sharks in his youth, even if the app had been filled with strangers—not multiverse versions of himself. Yet he sits there & wallows; he is still afraid of sharks but another version of himself is not.
Back & forth he goes until he begins to connect with other users on the app & ultimately, with himself. The story ends when he is set free from the online world in which he found solace. Will readers agree with this conclusion or will they deem it the easy way out?
Ultimately, I’m not sure how I feel about this story. At once, it offers readers the opportunity to view themselves & their habits through the lens of another—more extreme—case. Yet it does not highlight the reasons why a person might find themselves consumed with the virtual world.
Certainly, Shaw was able to escape the cycle by spending time with himself & analyzing his feelings to allow himself to be set free from the pain that festered in his mind. Why did Shaw seek out the multiverse app to begin with? Was he bored or eager to see himself reflected in different lifetimes? What made Shaw so susceptible to the pressures of the invisible entities that frequented the app alongside him?
I feel confident that readers will have varied experiences with this story & neither one would be right nor wrong; they are different just like the versions of Shaw himself. Rather than sit & simmer on the life of a man who doesn’t even exist I will thank the author for allowing me the chance to read again, after two long months without my favourite pass time as I sought out career advancement & flights to distant places.
Perhaps this was the purpose of this story. Maybe Wiswell wrote a tale about a man who was behind closed doors—doors to which he held the key. Perhaps the reader—a reader such as myself—had only to come upon Shaw as he was crossing the street to his new adventure so that I might once again be met with the lifetime friend I have in mine.
If you would like to read this story, please visit this •LINK•
The Universe, a plaything for the Gods, hosts the minuscule & insignificant human experience in its folds. The days & passing hours riddle the tongue of clicks, licks, flips, & whistles; Who has the cunning coin of knowledge to share among us?
As humanity has explored technological advancements & watched their world grow into multiverses unnamed, the species has been left to fend for themselves, alone. Too many instances account for secondary support, the wave of nostalgia tightening the chest as though we had been here before. What if somewhere along the way, the path we chose, that fateful fork in the road, split the atom & life as we knew it left us wandering in the opposite direction?
The main character of this story finds himself as many people do, lost, alone, & disempowered due to circumstances outside of his control. The story explores a single night in Shaw’s life as he scrolls endlessly on an app that mirrors his life & shows him the lives of all his alternative existences.
It is not made clear to the reader whether the program was set in place so that individuals could feel connected to themselves or whether the app’s creation was to segregate individuals so that they grew distanced from reality, one scroll at a time. Regardless, Shaw realizes that the app shows him only negative things. His alternative selves argue amongst each other & never have anything positive to say. Will readers feel empathy towards Shaw or will they interpret his need for realism in the multiverse as ignorant & wasteful?
I choose this story after a long bout of days without books. My summer has been long. The adventure of these past months has brought me to the doorstep of people I never would have met otherwise & the fluke nature of change that accompanied me as I professed my desire for more found me without a book in my hand day in, day out.
Nearing the end of the sultry heated sun, I found myself longing for the nocturnal companion I carried with me during the day. Finding myself back amongst the talented authors that publish in Reactor Magazine, I selected at random & made my way back into the boots that allowed me to walk through so many stories.
In essence, this is a story about inner turmoil. The content warning that I included at the beginning of this review should be heeded. Though the sliver of demise is not necessarily written about graphically, the characters in this story deal innately with suicidal ideations & self-harm; some of them suffer the consequences of these attempts, across the spectrum of outcomes. Readers will need to approach this story with an air of caution. Though Wiswell does not write with explicit language, each facet of the characters’ lives is shadowed by a monster whose name is their own.
What I found most enjoyable about this story wasn’t exactly what I found within the written word. The style was colourful in demented purples & greys, but Shaw felt like a character who was basked in an orange that fought to transform into yellow. Every day he found himself caught up in the cycle of his small life; every moment offering him the possibility of obsession & masochism.
Shaw as a character is flawed & this is not to say that his mental turmoil makes him a man less deserving of love & kindness than anyone else. Rather, his flaw is his self-doubt. Whereas the main character’s introduction to the story allows readers the chance to peek into his life, his world is not as small as he has made it.
Readers cannot necessarily fault Shaw for the way that he lives. In truth, many people will find that the narrator is stuck in a cycle that he does not have the energy to question. Some days it might feel as though he has the gumption to push back—such as when he begins messaging other versions of himself on the multiverse app. Other times, it is clear that Shaw lives in a world that overstimulates him & offers him no opportunity to bloom into the garden where he rests.
As always, I must ask what the purpose of this story is; What is the author trying to convey & to whom? Certainly, readers may approach this story & decode the obvious similarities that exist between our two worlds. Shaw’s near addiction to his phone & the multiverse app act as a time suck. Readers may see themselves reflected in this or be ignorant of the space stations that rest in their own palms as they read the story & possibly, this review.
It would not be wrong to halt analysis here. Wiswell has incorporated the very clear facets of the human experience into the days & nights of Shaw’s story. Readers may decide whether they deem this an authentic representation or not.
On the other side of the coin, Shaw represents a loss of purpose that might be a consequence of his mental illness. I will not grant myself the liberty of diagnosis Shaw as I am not a psychologist or a doctor in any form. Yet, I found myself drawing from the narrative in the hopes of being able to offer Shaw some form of reprieve or perhaps, to point him the way out.
Many people may empathize with the main character’s routine. He is away during the day & checks his phone as a means of keeping up to date while also granting himself the mental pause that he feels he needs—or is addicted to seeking. When the lights dim & night draws near, Shaw repeats the pattern, spending all night obsessively ruminating on the anonymous lives of other people.
I specifically use the term anonymous to describe the users in the multiverse as the term can be just as easily used to reflect the non-factual practice of doom scrolling. One does not know the people they see online any more than they know the person they pass on the crosswalk.
Shaw’s experience differs only slightly from the one that the reader might experience. For him, the app he uses is filled with other versions of himself, or so he believes. What if Shaw is trapped in an orbit that circles his essence, preventing him from viewing himself as the unique individual he is?
This question might appear silly yet I ask it earnestly. When Shaw logs on to the app he compares himself to others & their achievements. He would not be the only one who had a fascination with sharks in his youth, even if the app had been filled with strangers—not multiverse versions of himself. Yet he sits there & wallows; he is still afraid of sharks but another version of himself is not.
Back & forth he goes until he begins to connect with other users on the app & ultimately, with himself. The story ends when he is set free from the online world in which he found solace. Will readers agree with this conclusion or will they deem it the easy way out?
Ultimately, I’m not sure how I feel about this story. At once, it offers readers the opportunity to view themselves & their habits through the lens of another—more extreme—case. Yet it does not highlight the reasons why a person might find themselves consumed with the virtual world.
Certainly, Shaw was able to escape the cycle by spending time with himself & analyzing his feelings to allow himself to be set free from the pain that festered in his mind. Why did Shaw seek out the multiverse app to begin with? Was he bored or eager to see himself reflected in different lifetimes? What made Shaw so susceptible to the pressures of the invisible entities that frequented the app alongside him?
I feel confident that readers will have varied experiences with this story & neither one would be right nor wrong; they are different just like the versions of Shaw himself. Rather than sit & simmer on the life of a man who doesn’t even exist I will thank the author for allowing me the chance to read again, after two long months without my favourite pass time as I sought out career advancement & flights to distant places.
Perhaps this was the purpose of this story. Maybe Wiswell wrote a tale about a man who was behind closed doors—doors to which he held the key. Perhaps the reader—a reader such as myself—had only to come upon Shaw as he was crossing the street to his new adventure so that I might once again be met with the lifetime friend I have in mine.
If you would like to read this story, please visit this •LINK•
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 14, 2024
“I’ll Miss Myself” by John Wiswell.
Short freebie from Reactor.
Disjointed, but interesting. I wonder why the app was purposefully trying to drive people to be so depressed… Yes, sharks ARE cool! (From far away. I’ll leave them be, they leave me be. :D)
4, very thought provoking, stars.
Short freebie from Reactor.
Disjointed, but interesting. I wonder why the app was purposefully trying to drive people to be so depressed… Yes, sharks ARE cool! (From far away. I’ll leave them be, they leave me be. :D)
4, very thought provoking, stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 8, 2025
Shaw couldn't sleep so he doomscrolled the multiverse.
Wiswell is always a safe bet, this was delightful. I'll Miss Myself is set in a universe where exist a social platform you can interact with all of your different selves from the multiverse. Corporates are evil and there is also some neurodivergence in the mix. It wasn't quite perfect, but I really enjoyed myself and I'm craving another John Wiswell already. Definitely would recommend!
Read for free here: https://reactormag.com/ill-miss-mysel...
October 8, 2024
Shaw couldn’t sleep so he doomscrolled the multiverse.
I am REALLY liking John Wiswell's style of writing! His "Open House on Haunted Hill" was the cozy horror story I didn't know I needed until I read it. This one, about a man trapped in his own head, obsessively scrolling the app AllOne and texting other versions of himself, slowly realizes the self-defeating nature of the enterprise and decides to go swimming with sharks.
Yeah. That.
Considering where we are now with the echo nature of social media, mental health, loneliness, and the polarization and radicalization of people, this short is well timed. I wish more people would read it.
https://reactormag.com/ill-miss-mysel...
I am REALLY liking John Wiswell's style of writing! His "Open House on Haunted Hill" was the cozy horror story I didn't know I needed until I read it. This one, about a man trapped in his own head, obsessively scrolling the app AllOne and texting other versions of himself, slowly realizes the self-defeating nature of the enterprise and decides to go swimming with sharks.
Yeah. That.
Considering where we are now with the echo nature of social media, mental health, loneliness, and the polarization and radicalization of people, this short is well timed. I wish more people would read it.
https://reactormag.com/ill-miss-mysel...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 15, 2024
This is a fun idea about parallel universes, and how we might behave if instead of doomscrolling our friends' social media feeds, we scrolled a feed of what our other selves were doing. And all of the issues we have with "The Algorithm" in our social media is the same (or worse) in this other-selves app. I liked the concept a lot, and the implied autistic coding of the mail character—it's never specified, but the hyperfixation they experience seems to fit. The ending seemed a bit abrupt, though, and I'm not sure what it meant for the story as a whole.
July 10, 2024
A Technological Breath of Fresh Air
John Wiswell does not miss. He applies his distinct style and perspective to one of the world’s worst monsters: social media. The prose is frank and compassionate without glossing over the rough parts, and the story is positive without being saccharine.
The world is a crazy place. It needs more writers like John Wiswell.
John Wiswell does not miss. He applies his distinct style and perspective to one of the world’s worst monsters: social media. The prose is frank and compassionate without glossing over the rough parts, and the story is positive without being saccharine.
The world is a crazy place. It needs more writers like John Wiswell.
January 20, 2025
I'm not sure about the story. It's not about being short and having a mysterious process. But is there a twist in ending? thus, a production of dark fantasy genre. Yet still it needs to be processed a little more. The realism of the story and intertwined fate of me's did surely upset me.
July 10, 2024
fantastic story
Witty and moving and real. It made we want to go out and make my life better, while still being me
Witty and moving and real. It made we want to go out and make my life better, while still being me
July 16, 2024
I'd like to give this short story double-five stars! It's flippin' fantastic!
July 17, 2024
This story has a great premise. I enjoyed it, even if it did lead to some uncomfortable reflection on my own online habits.
December 29, 2024
I think this story would make anyone reflect on their online habits. also, an interesting look at parallel lives.
July 12, 2024
Read that yesterday in the evening. Great story!
The idea alone is so cool. My oldest kid always asks me bevor sleeping what story to invent and I was reading this short story and told her:
"Imagine a bunch of other kids like you, or slightly like you in other universes. Some have not one younger brother, but twin brothers. And your other self wants to complain about having TWO little brothers and you listen."
In John's story, the protagonist, Shaw, uses "AllOne", which seems to be a kind of social media, but only with other versions of himself in other universes. This in itself is a good phantastic idea, but there's also a very touching story coming.
The slightly different versions of himself are funny or even touching (some fathers have died of COVID), but there's also the algorithm of AllOne, which usually prevents privately chatting with each other or hides certain posts. There is a lot in it that reminds of our current social media here.
The B-story is about depressions and how AllOne prevents the different versions of Shaw to talk about it ... with himself.
It's a great idea story but also a story about talking about oneself, about difficulties, not-so-cool-stuff and tricking the algorithm of a mighty App. I had fun and my heart was also in it!
Keep going, I am already a fan!
The idea alone is so cool. My oldest kid always asks me bevor sleeping what story to invent and I was reading this short story and told her:
"Imagine a bunch of other kids like you, or slightly like you in other universes. Some have not one younger brother, but twin brothers. And your other self wants to complain about having TWO little brothers and you listen."
In John's story, the protagonist, Shaw, uses "AllOne", which seems to be a kind of social media, but only with other versions of himself in other universes. This in itself is a good phantastic idea, but there's also a very touching story coming.
The slightly different versions of himself are funny or even touching (some fathers have died of COVID), but there's also the algorithm of AllOne, which usually prevents privately chatting with each other or hides certain posts. There is a lot in it that reminds of our current social media here.
The B-story is about depressions and how AllOne prevents the different versions of Shaw to talk about it ... with himself.
It's a great idea story but also a story about talking about oneself, about difficulties, not-so-cool-stuff and tricking the algorithm of a mighty App. I had fun and my heart was also in it!
Keep going, I am already a fan!
October 26, 2024
In this story, the protagonist 'doom-scrolls' through the postings on a social-media app. Only, instead of seeing posts by other people, he is seeing posts by himself in other universes. And the posts are uniformly depressing, with complaints by his alternate selves about their lives in the doldrums. But then, he occasionally sees direct messages from his other selves, asking him how he is. And when he decides to respond to one message, he discovers what may be the truth behind the app that is keeping him addicted to the social network, and what he may have to do to break out of the cycle of depressing posts.
January 2, 2026
my first read of 2026!
okay. this story is not about elmo but i was thinking about his check in post
imagine you're elmo and you're just scrolling through social media but everyone is elmo
but you never hear from the other elmo's
one finally gets through and has tried to end it
you find that the app wants you dependent on it and so you can't post things like
"Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?"
because you're not supposed to have compassion for yourself or the other elmo's
you keep checking in with the other elmo's and risking losing your account
because your peace is more important than an app.
okay. this story is not about elmo but i was thinking about his check in post
imagine you're elmo and you're just scrolling through social media but everyone is elmo
but you never hear from the other elmo's
one finally gets through and has tried to end it
you find that the app wants you dependent on it and so you can't post things like
"Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?"
because you're not supposed to have compassion for yourself or the other elmo's
you keep checking in with the other elmo's and risking losing your account
because your peace is more important than an app.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 12, 2024
The idea of using a smartphone social media app like TikTok-meets-Reddit to connect with others in a multiverse of yourselves is a great premise. That is the only thing great about this Reactor sponsored short story. It deals way too casually and incorrectly with self-harm, depression, suicide and then ends the story weirdly. Too bad.. missed opportunities. And the writing was a tad amateurish.
August 27, 2024
“Shaw couldn’t sleep so he doomscrolled the multiverse.” What a premise, talking to yourselves across the multiverse and realising the highs and lows of being online, the sneakiness of algorithms and the importance of balance to one’s mental health.
Free to read here : https://reactormag.com/ill-miss-mysel...
Free to read here : https://reactormag.com/ill-miss-mysel...
April 9, 2025
Enjoyable read
I like the idea in this story. Multiple universes and one person reaching out to all their otherselfs. The shark bit was great, it's about time sharks are seen as something better then monsters.
Anyway I like this writer. I have read one other story by him. I highly recommend.
I like the idea in this story. Multiple universes and one person reaching out to all their otherselfs. The shark bit was great, it's about time sharks are seen as something better then monsters.
Anyway I like this writer. I have read one other story by him. I highly recommend.
April 8, 2025
I usually like multiverse stories, but this was more of a slice of life, self-care story. Cool concept, but lacking in explanation and payoff. (Although I do like the general message around social media spirals)
April 29, 2025
3.5 enjoyable novella that reminds me of a Black Mirror episode premise
I think I need a bit more expansion why AllOne wanted people depressed? Or the moderating process, that would've elevated it for me!
I think I need a bit more expansion why AllOne wanted people depressed? Or the moderating process, that would've elevated it for me!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 11, 2024
This short story is available for free on Reactor: https://reactormag.com/ill-miss-myself-john-wiswell/
July 21, 2024
An interesting concept that I enjoyed. I do wish it was fleshed out a little more - it was a very internal and spare story.
November 30, 2024
Only John Wiswell could make me cry at 9 AM on a work day in less than 30 pages. This was small but mighty and I'm absolutely the target audience.
January 4, 2025
A strange and interesting short story!
February 25, 2025
Interesting concept. The writing is a bit disjointed, but it's an interesting idea.
March 8, 2025
Interesting take on social media.
November 7, 2025
this book made me spiral! yay!
December 31, 2025
Brilliant, emotional, short multiversal story.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews