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愛はね、 #1
愛はね、
予備校生の望は、幼なじみの俊一に片想いをしている。けれど、ノンケの俊一は決して自分を好きにならないと知っている望は、その想いを胸の奥に閉じ込めるしかなかった。他の誰かを好きになろうと、駄目な男と付き合っては泣かされる日々を繰り返す望。一方、そんな望にうんざりしながらも放ってはおけない俊一は、いつも望の世話を焼いてきた。しかし、そんなふたりの関係が変わるときがやってくる。俊一の知人・篠原が、望と付き合いたいと言ってきたのだ。それを後押しする俊一に、抗えず従う望だが…。
- GenresJapanese Literature
253 pages, Paperback
First published December 17, 2010
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4 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
August 4, 2019
Absolutely one of the most frustrating BL I've ever read. I'm giving it a 3 tho cuz this book is, development wise, very well written, and I can see why some ppl may find this book relatable and touching.
The main character feels very real, but lemme get this straight, I absolutely deplore this type of person, terribly selfish and irresponsible, and I feel so so bad for the straight seme who's too responsible to leave the MC alone to destroy himself. Yet I also find it hard to completely hate on the MC, cuz the reasons why he turned out that way make sense. The situation in this book can only be described in one word: unfortunate. I personally think the seme shouldn't stay with the MC, he shouldn't have to force himself into something that is not true to his sexual preference. But in the end I'm not too sure either. I might act the same way if it means that it can help preventing someone that I care about, even tho not in a romantic way, from destructive behaviors, and see how things go.
Anyway just hope that noone will have to go thru this kind of experience. Really painful to read, really frustrating. I honestly dislike it and have no intention of reading the sequel. However this is absolutely NOT a badly written book. The feelings are raw and hell it frustrates me exactly bcz it feels too real. I'll still say do give the book a try despite not liking it tho.
The main character feels very real, but lemme get this straight, I absolutely deplore this type of person, terribly selfish and irresponsible, and I feel so so bad for the straight seme who's too responsible to leave the MC alone to destroy himself. Yet I also find it hard to completely hate on the MC, cuz the reasons why he turned out that way make sense. The situation in this book can only be described in one word: unfortunate. I personally think the seme shouldn't stay with the MC, he shouldn't have to force himself into something that is not true to his sexual preference. But in the end I'm not too sure either. I might act the same way if it means that it can help preventing someone that I care about, even tho not in a romantic way, from destructive behaviors, and see how things go.
Anyway just hope that noone will have to go thru this kind of experience. Really painful to read, really frustrating. I honestly dislike it and have no intention of reading the sequel. However this is absolutely NOT a badly written book. The feelings are raw and hell it frustrates me exactly bcz it feels too real. I'll still say do give the book a try despite not liking it tho.
June 10, 2017
"さみしさを上手に愛せるようになったら、一人前の大人なのかもなあ…"
— p123, 愛はね、樋口美沙緒
that quote above hits me in so many levels, because like nozomu, i too had to learn and appreciate the value of being alone. loneliness is not something to run away from, or to find something to distract yourself away from. loneliness is something to embrace and accept. being alone gives you the chance to reflect, to realize, to discover. to love yourself when you are by yourself. when you only have yourself.
here's a quick summary, i guess:
nozomu loves his childhood friend shunichi. when he was 15 years old, he confessed to his friend about his homosexuality. shunichi was nonchalant about the whole ordeal, and told him that everything is totally fine between them - so long as nozomu doesn't start liking shunichi or anything. uh. bruh. THE UKE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. way to be an ass. hole.
this shatters any fragment of hope that nozomu had, and for the next 4 years, he dates and sleeps with people to avoid being alone. after multiple bad breakups, nozomu would come running to shunichi for help and guidance. though really, nozomu wants to be with shuniji because hello, he's in love with him. so it's almost like nozomu is trying to find any excuse to be with shunichi.
in the beginning, i found it reeeally hard to sympathize with nozomu's pain when it came to his unrequited love. sometimes the partners he dated at the time would genuinely care about him (oonuki) but nozomu just couldn't find it in him to return the same feelings because he's so stuck on his love for shunichi. i wanted nozomu to either confess to shunichi or to fuck off, and try to move on.
i did feel quite sorry for nozomu being estranged from his family. nozomu loves his family, and wants to live with them again, but because his father caught him kissing a guy in his room one day (smart move, bruh), the father kicked him out of the house. the older brother is no better, refusing to even acknowledge nozomu because he had to sacrifice his dream of studying medicine in germany in order to help raise nozomu, and then finding out that nozomu is gay took his dislike for him to a whole new level. i have to say though, the true MVP in this entire book is kouhei, nozomu's 2nd older bro. he's a frickin' star. i love him so much. however, kouhei works in germany, so he doesn't know that nozomu was kicked out of the house until he came back to visit after years of being away.
it wasn't towards the 2nd half of the book when nozomu got himself into a dangerous relationship with an abusive lover, that i started to feel bad for the pain that he felt - the loneliness that was suffocating him. being estranged from his family, being insulted and pushed away by his childhood friend - he had no where to go and no one to get help from. after the events leading to him getting so hurt by his now ex-abusive bf to the point of being hospitalized... and finally being united with his family again, did he realize his need for being independent. for loving himself, and that it's okay to love others without expecting any love in return. for loving his loneliness, instead of finding things (that can potentially be toxic) to distract himself from it. because when he can finally embrace being alone, he'll be able to love himself, and love those around him.
i really appreciated his growth towards the entire thing. i mean, i did like him from the beginning since he's super cute and a complete airhead, but i was frustrated by how he was stuck on his unrequited love. he kept getting himself into toxic relationships, and was expecting shunichi to save the day. so to see him become this levelheaded, positive, optimistic, mature youth by the end (and especially at the extra in the end) made me super happy about his development. i also loved the fact that he starts to rely more on himself, and put a distance between himself and shunichi. he loves his friend, he always will, but he also needs to love himself and to move on.
shunichi on the other end... yeah... but it wasn't until the extra story in the end did i find an appreciation for this character. throughout the main story, he would be really controlling. on one end, he would be jealous over who nozomu dated. but on the other end, he would practically force shunichi to be independent, and urge him to find someone to have a healthy relationship with. i didn't like the fact that he would invite shunichi over at this place, only to leave him alone when his gf calls him over - sleeps with his girlfriend, and come back to have his gf's smell still lingering all over him - absolutely crushing nozomu's heart. he would kiss nozomu multiple times, but then push himself away and have this look of disgust like, "what did i just do?" once again, destroying nozomu's heart. and the kicker is, frickin' shunichi knows all along (or suspects for a really long time) that nozomu likes him.
but shunichi is so stuck on being straight (or trying to) and doesn't realize that, heeeello, you have feelings for your childhood friend. embrace that shit.
anyways, the sequel to this (bouya, motto kagami mite) is in shunichi's pov. and after reading the extra story in the end, i'm really looking forward to this.
i gave this a 3/5 but that doesn't mean it's boring or anything. i enjoyed reading this. what kept me from giving it a 4/5 was not being able to really connect with the uke's angsty feelings for like 70% of the story, and not really liking shunichi's character until the extra. but i'm a sucker for misao's stories, so here i am. and THE LAST PAGE TO THE MAIN STORY. OMG. it's honestly really beautiful how misao ended it. it leaves you guessing what "love really is" in the pov of nozomu (and his dead mother). it's a beautiful way to end the book.
aaaaanyways, that's it from me. SEE YOU IN THE SEQUEL.
— p123, 愛はね、樋口美沙緒
that quote above hits me in so many levels, because like nozomu, i too had to learn and appreciate the value of being alone. loneliness is not something to run away from, or to find something to distract yourself away from. loneliness is something to embrace and accept. being alone gives you the chance to reflect, to realize, to discover. to love yourself when you are by yourself. when you only have yourself.
here's a quick summary, i guess:
nozomu loves his childhood friend shunichi. when he was 15 years old, he confessed to his friend about his homosexuality. shunichi was nonchalant about the whole ordeal, and told him that everything is totally fine between them - so long as nozomu doesn't start liking shunichi or anything. uh. bruh. THE UKE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. way to be an ass. hole.
this shatters any fragment of hope that nozomu had, and for the next 4 years, he dates and sleeps with people to avoid being alone. after multiple bad breakups, nozomu would come running to shunichi for help and guidance. though really, nozomu wants to be with shuniji because hello, he's in love with him. so it's almost like nozomu is trying to find any excuse to be with shunichi.
in the beginning, i found it reeeally hard to sympathize with nozomu's pain when it came to his unrequited love. sometimes the partners he dated at the time would genuinely care about him (oonuki) but nozomu just couldn't find it in him to return the same feelings because he's so stuck on his love for shunichi. i wanted nozomu to either confess to shunichi or to fuck off, and try to move on.
i did feel quite sorry for nozomu being estranged from his family. nozomu loves his family, and wants to live with them again, but because his father caught him kissing a guy in his room one day (smart move, bruh), the father kicked him out of the house. the older brother is no better, refusing to even acknowledge nozomu because he had to sacrifice his dream of studying medicine in germany in order to help raise nozomu, and then finding out that nozomu is gay took his dislike for him to a whole new level. i have to say though, the true MVP in this entire book is kouhei, nozomu's 2nd older bro. he's a frickin' star. i love him so much. however, kouhei works in germany, so he doesn't know that nozomu was kicked out of the house until he came back to visit after years of being away.
it wasn't towards the 2nd half of the book when nozomu got himself into a dangerous relationship with an abusive lover, that i started to feel bad for the pain that he felt - the loneliness that was suffocating him. being estranged from his family, being insulted and pushed away by his childhood friend - he had no where to go and no one to get help from. after the events leading to him getting so hurt by his now ex-abusive bf to the point of being hospitalized... and finally being united with his family again, did he realize his need for being independent. for loving himself, and that it's okay to love others without expecting any love in return. for loving his loneliness, instead of finding things (that can potentially be toxic) to distract himself from it. because when he can finally embrace being alone, he'll be able to love himself, and love those around him.
i really appreciated his growth towards the entire thing. i mean, i did like him from the beginning since he's super cute and a complete airhead, but i was frustrated by how he was stuck on his unrequited love. he kept getting himself into toxic relationships, and was expecting shunichi to save the day. so to see him become this levelheaded, positive, optimistic, mature youth by the end (and especially at the extra in the end) made me super happy about his development. i also loved the fact that he starts to rely more on himself, and put a distance between himself and shunichi. he loves his friend, he always will, but he also needs to love himself and to move on.
shunichi on the other end... yeah... but it wasn't until the extra story in the end did i find an appreciation for this character. throughout the main story, he would be really controlling. on one end, he would be jealous over who nozomu dated. but on the other end, he would practically force shunichi to be independent, and urge him to find someone to have a healthy relationship with. i didn't like the fact that he would invite shunichi over at this place, only to leave him alone when his gf calls him over - sleeps with his girlfriend, and come back to have his gf's smell still lingering all over him - absolutely crushing nozomu's heart. he would kiss nozomu multiple times, but then push himself away and have this look of disgust like, "what did i just do?" once again, destroying nozomu's heart. and the kicker is, frickin' shunichi knows all along (or suspects for a really long time) that nozomu likes him.
but shunichi is so stuck on being straight (or trying to) and doesn't realize that, heeeello, you have feelings for your childhood friend. embrace that shit.
anyways, the sequel to this (bouya, motto kagami mite) is in shunichi's pov. and after reading the extra story in the end, i'm really looking forward to this.
i gave this a 3/5 but that doesn't mean it's boring or anything. i enjoyed reading this. what kept me from giving it a 4/5 was not being able to really connect with the uke's angsty feelings for like 70% of the story, and not really liking shunichi's character until the extra. but i'm a sucker for misao's stories, so here i am. and THE LAST PAGE TO THE MAIN STORY. OMG. it's honestly really beautiful how misao ended it. it leaves you guessing what "love really is" in the pov of nozomu (and his dead mother). it's a beautiful way to end the book.
aaaaanyways, that's it from me. SEE YOU IN THE SEQUEL.
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