What do you think?
Rate this book
Finding Loretta: An Adopted Daughter's Search to Define Family
For fans of Dani Shapiro’s Inheritance and Nicole Chung’s All You Can Ever Know, a debut memoir from a mid-life adoptee who, just as she’s meeting biological family for the first time, unearths a secret kept from her for years by her adoptive parents.
Adopted as an infant by a naval officer and his wife during the Baby Scoop Era, Diane Wheaton has always heard conflicting versions of the truth of her origins—but it’s not until she is forty-seven years old that she begins to search for her biological family in earnest. Amid search and reunion, however, Diane’s adoptive parents become ill—and while overseeing their care, she is told about a secret they have kept from her for over fifteen years. This shocking disclosure complicates her already complicated feelings for them, and she finds herself faced with an important decision—one that feels almost impossible to make, but which results in a level of healing she never could have anticipated.
A touching memoir of self-discovery, Finding Loretta is Diane’s tale of searching for history, roots, and family. Ultimately, she comes to accept the two distinct dynamics of the families who have helped make her who she is today, and in doing so she learns to embrace herself and feel grateful for everything she has experienced—even loss.
Adopted as an infant by a naval officer and his wife during the Baby Scoop Era, Diane Wheaton has always heard conflicting versions of the truth of her origins—but it’s not until she is forty-seven years old that she begins to search for her biological family in earnest. Amid search and reunion, however, Diane’s adoptive parents become ill—and while overseeing their care, she is told about a secret they have kept from her for over fifteen years. This shocking disclosure complicates her already complicated feelings for them, and she finds herself faced with an important decision—one that feels almost impossible to make, but which results in a level of healing she never could have anticipated.
A touching memoir of self-discovery, Finding Loretta is Diane’s tale of searching for history, roots, and family. Ultimately, she comes to accept the two distinct dynamics of the families who have helped make her who she is today, and in doing so she learns to embrace herself and feel grateful for everything she has experienced—even loss.
304 pages, Paperback
Published March 4, 2025
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 11, 2026
Published on March 4, 2025 by She Writes Press, Finding Loretta: An Adopted Daughter's Search to Define Family by Diane Wheaton asks the questions every adoptee carries: Who am I? Where do I come from? And what happens when the search for those answers collides with a devastating family secret?
For Diane, adopted as an infant during the Baby Scoop Era by a naval officer and his wife in Oakland, California, the journey didn't begin in earnest until she was forty-seven years old. But just as she begins meeting her biological family, her adoptive parents fall ill. And while caring for them, she learns they've been keeping a secret from her for over fifteen years—a revelation that transforms everything she thought she understood about loyalty, love, and family.
Why This Book Resonates
Diane confronts the impossible balancing act. Finding Loretta showcases the delicate dance all adoptees navigate: displaying loyalty to the family who raised them while pursuing the truth of their origins, managing fears of rejection while honoring the need for identity. This isn't theoretical—Diane lived it while simultaneously caring for aging adoptive parents and processing their long-held deception. The emotional complexity she navigates with such honesty makes this essential reading for anyone trying to understand what adoptees actually face.
She illuminates systemic failures without flinching. Secrets are embedded in the fabric of closed adoption at every level—systemic, institutional, and familial, with deep generational consequences. Diane examines how she was trapped in the shadow of an adoptive mother whose unaddressed grief and trauma manifested as gaslighting, while simultaneously being denied access to her own birth records by California's closed adoption system. The book exposes how these layers of secrecy compound trauma rather than protect anyone.
The narrative defies easy resolution. Memoirs often fall into two traps: the "poor me" story or the neatly wrapped happy ending. Finding Loretta avoids both. Wheaton crafts a memoir that honors the complexity of real people and real life—the messy emotions, the conflicting loyalties, the fact that finding answers doesn't automatically heal wounds. This authenticity is what makes the book groundbreaking.
A Story That Unfolds Like a Mystery
What sets Finding Loretta apart is how Diane structures her narrative with the pacing of a mystery—because that's exactly what the search felt like. Will she find her birth mother? What will she discover about her origins? And crucially: what was that fifteen-year secret her adoptive parents kept hidden? Readers will encounter unexpected twists, moments of abandonment and betrayal they won't anticipate, and ultimately witness a healing journey that feels earned rather than manufactured.
The battle between "right to know" and "right to privacy" takes center stage in Wheaton's gripping personal tale, making Finding Loretta not just one woman's story but a powerful argument for why adoptees deserve unrestricted access to their own birth records.
One reader described the experience best: "For much of this book I had been holding my breath." That's the journey Diane takes you on—one of resilience, hope, perseverance, and ultimately, the complex work of embracing both families who shaped who she is today.
For Diane, adopted as an infant during the Baby Scoop Era by a naval officer and his wife in Oakland, California, the journey didn't begin in earnest until she was forty-seven years old. But just as she begins meeting her biological family, her adoptive parents fall ill. And while caring for them, she learns they've been keeping a secret from her for over fifteen years—a revelation that transforms everything she thought she understood about loyalty, love, and family.
Why This Book Resonates
Diane confronts the impossible balancing act. Finding Loretta showcases the delicate dance all adoptees navigate: displaying loyalty to the family who raised them while pursuing the truth of their origins, managing fears of rejection while honoring the need for identity. This isn't theoretical—Diane lived it while simultaneously caring for aging adoptive parents and processing their long-held deception. The emotional complexity she navigates with such honesty makes this essential reading for anyone trying to understand what adoptees actually face.
She illuminates systemic failures without flinching. Secrets are embedded in the fabric of closed adoption at every level—systemic, institutional, and familial, with deep generational consequences. Diane examines how she was trapped in the shadow of an adoptive mother whose unaddressed grief and trauma manifested as gaslighting, while simultaneously being denied access to her own birth records by California's closed adoption system. The book exposes how these layers of secrecy compound trauma rather than protect anyone.
The narrative defies easy resolution. Memoirs often fall into two traps: the "poor me" story or the neatly wrapped happy ending. Finding Loretta avoids both. Wheaton crafts a memoir that honors the complexity of real people and real life—the messy emotions, the conflicting loyalties, the fact that finding answers doesn't automatically heal wounds. This authenticity is what makes the book groundbreaking.
A Story That Unfolds Like a Mystery
What sets Finding Loretta apart is how Diane structures her narrative with the pacing of a mystery—because that's exactly what the search felt like. Will she find her birth mother? What will she discover about her origins? And crucially: what was that fifteen-year secret her adoptive parents kept hidden? Readers will encounter unexpected twists, moments of abandonment and betrayal they won't anticipate, and ultimately witness a healing journey that feels earned rather than manufactured.
The battle between "right to know" and "right to privacy" takes center stage in Wheaton's gripping personal tale, making Finding Loretta not just one woman's story but a powerful argument for why adoptees deserve unrestricted access to their own birth records.
One reader described the experience best: "For much of this book I had been holding my breath." That's the journey Diane takes you on—one of resilience, hope, perseverance, and ultimately, the complex work of embracing both families who shaped who she is today.
June 2, 2026
Finding Loretta: An Adopted Daughter's Search to Define Family is a deeply emotional and beautifully reflective memoir about adoption, identity, family secrets, healing, and the lifelong search for belonging.
What stands out most is the emotional honesty throughout the narrative. The memoir thoughtfully captures the complexity of being an adoptee during the Baby Scoop Era and the conflicting emotions that can exist simultaneously gratitude, curiosity, love, grief, confusion, and longing.
The journey of searching for biological family while also caring for aging adoptive parents adds tremendous emotional depth to the story. The layered family dynamics feel authentic and nuanced, allowing the memoir to explore difficult emotional territory with compassion and sincerity.
One of the strongest aspects of the book is how it handles the idea of truth and identity. The discovery of long-hidden family secrets adds emotional tension and reflection, but the memoir never loses its humanity or emotional balance. Instead, it becomes a thoughtful exploration of what truly defines family, connection, and self-understanding.
The writing also carries a quiet emotional strength that makes the story especially moving. The memoir approaches painful revelations and complicated relationships with maturity, empathy, and grace, creating a reading experience that feels both intimate and universally relatable.
Overall, this is a heartfelt and powerful memoir for readers interested in adoption stories, family relationships, identity, healing, and emotionally honest journeys of self-discovery.
What stands out most is the emotional honesty throughout the narrative. The memoir thoughtfully captures the complexity of being an adoptee during the Baby Scoop Era and the conflicting emotions that can exist simultaneously gratitude, curiosity, love, grief, confusion, and longing.
The journey of searching for biological family while also caring for aging adoptive parents adds tremendous emotional depth to the story. The layered family dynamics feel authentic and nuanced, allowing the memoir to explore difficult emotional territory with compassion and sincerity.
One of the strongest aspects of the book is how it handles the idea of truth and identity. The discovery of long-hidden family secrets adds emotional tension and reflection, but the memoir never loses its humanity or emotional balance. Instead, it becomes a thoughtful exploration of what truly defines family, connection, and self-understanding.
The writing also carries a quiet emotional strength that makes the story especially moving. The memoir approaches painful revelations and complicated relationships with maturity, empathy, and grace, creating a reading experience that feels both intimate and universally relatable.
Overall, this is a heartfelt and powerful memoir for readers interested in adoption stories, family relationships, identity, healing, and emotionally honest journeys of self-discovery.
April 10, 2025
Diane’s memoir, so beautifully told, highlights areas of the Adoption story that have remained hidden and unspoken about for so many years. As told through Laura Engel’s brilliant memoir many women, the birth mothers, were told “You’ll Forget this ever Happened” and we learn that this most definitely does not happen, to the mother, like Laura or to the Adoptee like Diane. Diane has opened her soul to us by sharing her journey as an Adoptee. With dignity, respect, patience and perseverance we learn firsthand the barriers faced in the search for answers to her biological background, and of her deep desire to find where she belonged, her heritage. She shares her elation at making contact with some family members, and the absolute frustration at the blocked pathways in the search for others. Diane also relates of life with her adoptive parents which adds another dimension to her story.
I am grateful to have had the privilege of reading Diane’s story, to have learned so much more about life from the perspective of an Adoptee. It was wonderful to see throughout Diane’s story the unwavering love and support of her husband, Michael, and their children Heather and Travis.
I am grateful to have had the privilege of reading Diane’s story, to have learned so much more about life from the perspective of an Adoptee. It was wonderful to see throughout Diane’s story the unwavering love and support of her husband, Michael, and their children Heather and Travis.
March 10, 2025
A Beautiful Book. A Remarkable Story of Determination and Love.
When I finished Diane Wheaton’s memoir “Finding Loretta” I realized for much of this book I had been holding my breath. This book follows the story of Diane as a child adopted in a closed adoption by well-meaning but unemotional and detached parents. From those first pages I felt such empathy for this little girl who only wanted most of all to feel like she was wanted and loved by family. Through many twists and turns this child grows up resilient, loving, and a determined young woman who searches for her birth family through much difficulty because like many adoptions during the Baby Scoop Era the adoption records are sealed. This book will warm your heart, make you laugh, make you think, and make you cry. Wheaton has so wonderfully given us a glimpse into the world of the adopted child suffering from the primal wound and rising above it through unimaginable twists and turns, that many would have been unable to push through. A beautiful book, an amazing story.
When I finished Diane Wheaton’s memoir “Finding Loretta” I realized for much of this book I had been holding my breath. This book follows the story of Diane as a child adopted in a closed adoption by well-meaning but unemotional and detached parents. From those first pages I felt such empathy for this little girl who only wanted most of all to feel like she was wanted and loved by family. Through many twists and turns this child grows up resilient, loving, and a determined young woman who searches for her birth family through much difficulty because like many adoptions during the Baby Scoop Era the adoption records are sealed. This book will warm your heart, make you laugh, make you think, and make you cry. Wheaton has so wonderfully given us a glimpse into the world of the adopted child suffering from the primal wound and rising above it through unimaginable twists and turns, that many would have been unable to push through. A beautiful book, an amazing story.
March 25, 2025
In “Finding Loretta,” author Diane Wheaton weaves a fascinating story of self discovery as she tries to find her birth parents; while simultaneously juggling a taxing relationship with her adoptive family. You walk with Diane as she learns about the adoption process and the significant frustrations many adoptees face in obtaining information about their birth. These challenges are complicated by her busy life as a wife, mother and caring for her aging parents. Diane’s determination leads to considerable revelations - but family secrets and twists and turns emerge along the way. I found the book very interesting, well written, poignant and hard to put down. Although an ideal tale for the adoptee community, this is an important read for everyone. Adoptees deserve access to their birth records and hopefully Diane's book will further thoughtful change in California and other states that still have a closed record system.
January 28, 2025
Diane Wheaton’s memoir, Finding Loretta, is both heart-breaking and a tribute to love. Abandoned in more ways that seem humanly possible, Wheaton writes about her unswerving loyalty to her adoptive parents even though their narcissistic demands were frequently abusive, and her brave, uncompromising search for her birth family. Wheaton walks a line between selfless caregiving and unapologetic adherence to what she knows is right, despite what others tell her. Her loyalty and dedication to the truth are inspiring, and her story evokes both anguish at the unfair treatment she received and admiration for her courage. “Adoption is trauma,” she writes, and for the first time, thanks to this courageous memoir, I understand how that is true.
February 13, 2025
Diane Wheaton paints a powerful and startling view of adoption and the search to define family. Her wisdom, even as a young child, to stand her ground and insist on the respect and acceptance that every child deserves, is remarkable. In ways, she is the mature one in the family. Later, as an adult, she continues to gently insist on her basic rights, such as knowing who she is and where she comes from, making her the quiet hero of the story. We cheer her on as she finds true love and builds her own precious family, and continues to fill in the missing pieces of herself. This is an extraordinary and moving story about not only adoption, but also the power of familial love. Indeed, it is a book I will remember for years to come.
May 21, 2025
Haunted by conflicting narratives surrounding her Baby Scoop Era adoption in Oakland, California, in this impressive memoir Diane Wheaton begins a determined search for her biological family at the age of forty-seven. Her journey of discovery intertwines with the surfacing of long-held secrets, surprising similarities with the biological family she hadn’t known, and her own confrontation with the complexities of love and loyalty. She faces seemingly impossible decisions that ultimately become catalysts for a level of healing she never imagined possible. My favorite takeaway is how Diane illustrates that the pull for truth is a magnet. Despite obstacles, she bravely refuses to end her journey until she finds her answers.
September 6, 2025
The first thing I noticed when reading Finding Loretta is how well the book was organized, written and edited. It was a page turner for me.
There were so many twists and turns to her story. I know the author was at peace with her journey by the end but I would have enjoyed more in depth stories about her adoptive family during the time she was growing up. I know there must have been a lot of familial love there, even with the obvious disfunction.
I thoroughly enjoyed her stories about all of her birth family members and the layers of empathy and acceptance she eventually embraced. Wonderful memoir and eye-opening for those who haven’t been involved with adoption and its aftermath. Highly recommend.
There were so many twists and turns to her story. I know the author was at peace with her journey by the end but I would have enjoyed more in depth stories about her adoptive family during the time she was growing up. I know there must have been a lot of familial love there, even with the obvious disfunction.
I thoroughly enjoyed her stories about all of her birth family members and the layers of empathy and acceptance she eventually embraced. Wonderful memoir and eye-opening for those who haven’t been involved with adoption and its aftermath. Highly recommend.
March 17, 2025
As an adopted person, I am constantly amazed at how stories of adoptees of the Baby Scoop era share so many similarities -- even though our stories are often significantly different. My parents seemingly shared no traits with this author's and our search for biological relatives was very different, as well. But I completely identified with her desire to know her origins and how she often felt misplaced. Wheaton's prose is beautiful and her insights are wise. Highly recommend for adoptees and ALL of their families.
July 22, 2025
A moving and inspiring memoir about the challenges of being adopted, of searching for answers that aren't necessarily there or easy to find, of reaching for love, forgiveness, and compassion repeatedly. Wheaton's heart is so expansive and generous. She shows what it is like to continually offer love even in the face of hurt. A beautiful story of the various meanings behind the word "family" that offers important information about what adoptees may experience emotionally. Highly recommend.
March 29, 2026
As a therapist, I wanted to better understand the experience of an adoptee who sought out their birth parents. This memoir provided not just an inside look at the author’s journey to learn more about her birth family and restore a feeling of connection but it was also a page-turner of a story about love, forgiveness and the gift of family.
March 11, 2025
This book brought me to tears, both with heartache and happiness. It read, to me, like a novel and I had to remind myself repeatedly that this is memoir and everything in it was real. Diane has a beautiful way with words and I couldn't put this down, I read through it in two days.
July 22, 2025
Beautifully written book that kept me 100% engaged.
This was a genuine story of the author sharing her entire life. She is an excellent writer who weaves us into her complex situation.
This was a genuine story of the author sharing her entire life. She is an excellent writer who weaves us into her complex situation.
September 18, 2025
A heart felt story and well-written. It opened my eyes to the to the anxiety of being adopted and other issues an adoptee may feel. My daughter was not adopted, but she still dreamed of returning to the sea to her "real" family of mermaids.
June 26, 2025
Beautifully written memoir of an adult adoptee’s search for her birth parents. I couldn’t put it down.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews