Finding Loretta: An Adopted Daughter's Search to Define Family

by Diane Wheaton

For fans of Dani Shapiro’s Inheritance and Nicole Chung’s All You Can Ever Know, a debut memoir from a mid-life adoptee who, just as she’s meeting biological family for the first time, unearths a secret kept from her for years by her adoptive parents.

Adopted as an infant by a naval officer and his wife during the Baby Scoop Era, Diane Wheaton has always heard conflicting versions of the truth of her origins—but it’s not until she is forty-seven years old that she begins to search for her biological family in earnest. Amid search and reunion, however, Diane’s adoptive parents become ill—and while overseeing their care, she is told about a secret they have kept from her for over fifteen years. This shocking disclosure complicates her already complicated feelings for them, and she finds herself faced with an important decision—one that feels almost impossible to make, but which results in a level of healing she never could have anticipated.

A touching memoir of self-discovery, Finding Loretta is Diane’s tale of searching for history, roots, and family. Ultimately, she comes to accept the two distinct dynamics of the families who have helped make her who she is today, and in doing so she learns to embrace herself and feel grateful for everything she has experienced—even loss. 

304 pages, Paperback

Published March 4, 2025

Reviews

[Lyn Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane’s memoir, so beautifully told, highlights areas of the Adoption story that have remained hidden and unspoken about for so many years. As told through Laura Engel’s brilliant memoir many women, the birth mothers, were told “You’ll Forget this ever Happened” and we learn that this most definitely does not happen, to the mother, like Laura or to the Adoptee like Diane. Diane has opened her soul to us by sharing her journey as an Adoptee. With dignity, respect, patience and perseverance we learn firsthand the barriers faced in the search for answers to her biological background, and of her deep desire to find where she belonged, her heritage. She shares her elation at making contact with some family members, and the absolute frustration at the blocked pathways in the search for others. Diane also relates of life with her adoptive parents which adds another dimension to her story.
I am grateful to have had the privilege of reading Diane’s story, to have learned so much more about life from the perspective of an Adoptee. It was wonderful to see throughout Diane’s story the unwavering love and support of her husband, Michael, and their children Heather and Travis.

[Laura Engel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Beautiful Book. A Remarkable Story of Determination and Love.

When I finished Diane Wheaton’s memoir “Finding Loretta” I realized for much of this book I had been holding my breath. This book follows the story of Diane as a child adopted in a closed adoption by well-meaning but unemotional and detached parents. From those first pages I felt such empathy for this little girl who only wanted most of all to feel like she was wanted and loved by family. Through many twists and turns this child grows up resilient, loving, and a determined young woman who searches for her birth family through much difficulty because like many adoptions during the Baby Scoop Era the adoption records are sealed. This book will warm your heart, make you laugh, make you think, and make you cry. Wheaton has so wonderfully given us a glimpse into the world of the adopted child suffering from the primal wound and rising above it through unimaginable twists and turns, that many would have been unable to push through. A beautiful book, an amazing story.

[Lynne M Duke · Rating 5 out of 5]

In “Finding Loretta,” author Diane Wheaton weaves a fascinating story of self discovery as she tries to find her birth parents; while simultaneously juggling a taxing relationship with her adoptive family. You walk with Diane as she learns about the adoption process and the significant frustrations many adoptees face in obtaining information about their birth. These challenges are complicated by her busy life as a wife, mother and caring for her aging parents. Diane’s determination leads to considerable revelations - but family secrets and twists and turns emerge along the way. I found the book very interesting, well written, poignant and hard to put down. Although an ideal tale for the adoptee community, this is an important read for everyone. Adoptees deserve access to their birth records and hopefully Diane's book will further thoughtful change in California and other states that still have a closed record system.

[Cynthia Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane Wheaton’s memoir, Finding Loretta, is both heart-breaking and a tribute to love. Abandoned in more ways that seem humanly possible, Wheaton writes about her unswerving loyalty to her adoptive parents even though their narcissistic demands were frequently abusive, and her brave, uncompromising search for her birth family. Wheaton walks a line between selfless caregiving and unapologetic adherence to what she knows is right, despite what others tell her. Her loyalty and dedication to the truth are inspiring, and her story evokes both anguish at the unfair treatment she received and admiration for her courage. “Adoption is trauma,” she writes, and for the first time, thanks to this courageous memoir, I understand how that is true.

[Barbara Boyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane Wheaton paints a powerful and startling view of adoption and the search to define family. Her wisdom, even as a young child, to stand her ground and insist on the respect and acceptance that every child deserves, is remarkable. In ways, she is the mature one in the family. Later, as an adult, she continues to gently insist on her basic rights, such as knowing who she is and where she comes from, making her the quiet hero of the story. We cheer her on as she finds true love and builds her own precious family, and continues to fill in the missing pieces of herself. This is an extraordinary and moving story about not only adoption, but also the power of familial love. Indeed, it is a book I will remember for years to come.

[Joan Fernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haunted by conflicting narratives surrounding her Baby Scoop Era adoption in Oakland, California, in this impressive memoir Diane Wheaton begins a determined search for her biological family at the age of forty-seven. Her journey of discovery intertwines with the surfacing of long-held secrets, surprising similarities with the biological family she hadn’t known, and her own confrontation with the complexities of love and loyalty. She faces seemingly impossible decisions that ultimately become catalysts for a level of healing she never imagined possible. My favorite takeaway is how Diane illustrates that the pull for truth is a magnet. Despite obstacles, she bravely refuses to end her journey until she finds her answers.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first thing I noticed when reading Finding Loretta is how well the book was organized, written and edited. It was a page turner for me.

There were so many twists and turns to her story. I know the author was at peace with her journey by the end but I would have enjoyed more in depth stories about her adoptive family during the time she was growing up. I know there must have been a lot of familial love there, even with the obvious disfunction.

I thoroughly enjoyed her stories about all of her birth family members and the layers of empathy and acceptance she eventually embraced. Wonderful memoir and eye-opening for those who haven’t been involved with adoption and its aftermath. Highly recommend.

[Patti Eddington · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an adopted person, I am constantly amazed at how stories of adoptees of the Baby Scoop era share so many similarities -- even though our stories are often significantly different. My parents seemingly shared no traits with this author's and our search for biological relatives was very different, as well. But I completely identified with her desire to know her origins and how she often felt misplaced. Wheaton's prose is beautiful and her insights are wise. Highly recommend for adoptees and ALL of their families.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A moving and inspiring memoir about the challenges of being adopted, of searching for answers that aren't necessarily there or easy to find, of reaching for love, forgiveness, and compassion repeatedly. Wheaton's heart is so expansive and generous. She shows what it is like to continually offer love even in the face of hurt. A beautiful story of the various meanings behind the word "family" that offers important information about what adoptees may experience emotionally. Highly recommend.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brought me to tears, both with heartache and happiness. It read, to me, like a novel and I had to remind myself repeatedly that this is memoir and everything in it was real. Diane has a beautiful way with words and I couldn't put this down, I read through it in two days.

[Debora Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written book that kept me 100% engaged.

This was a genuine story of the author sharing her entire life. She is an excellent writer who weaves us into her complex situation.

[L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written memoir of an adult adoptee’s search for her birth parents. I couldn’t put it down.