Life Isn't All Ha Ha Hee Hee

by Meera Syal

Meera Syal has created an indelible portrait of a close-knit group of Indian women living in London. Caught between two cultures, three childhood friends—Chila, Sunita, and Tania—are expected to revert to being obedient mothers and wives. But their world explodes when Tania makes a documentary, starring Chila and Sunita, about contemporary urban Indian Life. The result is an unforgettable story of friendship, marriage, betrayal, and the difficult choices woman face.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, India, Indian Literature, British Literature, Chick Lit, Comedy

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Meera Syal MBE (born Feroza Syal 27 June 1961 in Essington, near Wolverhampton) is a British Indian comedienne, writer, playwright, singer, journalist and actress. Her Punjabi-born parents came to Britain from New Delhi, and she has risen to prominence as one of the most UK's best-known Indian personalities. She was awarded the MBE in the New Year's Honours List of 1997.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't write a review before, but reading others' I felt I had to respond. I thought it was a bit offensive that people labeled this light--just because it's about women's lives doesn't mean it's light at all. Do you call death, infidelity, social injustice, etc. light? In fact, I think this contains quite a meaningful examination of a lot of important issues (diaspora, women's roles, the intersection of cultures and generations) and is really complex and beautifully written. Don't even get me started on those who called it "chick lit." While I find that term problematic enough, I can appreciate the type of book generally named in that category; yet this is definitely not part of that group. This is literature, pure and simple.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved loved loved this book - true, I know almost nothing about people with Punjabi roots living in Britain - so for me it has been a revelation - and I was surprised how quickly I started to like all three main characters - to follow their paths and to fear for them, to laugh with them and to understand them - as a woman maybe of a different culture and age, but realizing too well, that the main themes of our life are common to all of us. Great read and a real page turner.

[Prabhjot Kaur · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a story about three Indian women living in London. They are all friends and they all experience a sense of not quite belonging. Growing up in Britain either they are not Indian enough or they are too Indian.

They are all struggling with their own problems and some of their problems are intermingled. Tania considers herself more westernized and Chila is very naïve and Sunita is going through struggles of motherhood. My favorite was Sunita and I loved her character even though I cannot relate to her at all, she was endearing to read about. I didn't really like Chila and Tania.

There were some laugh out loud moments but this book also talks about infidelity, betrayal and deep complications of friendships besides just the cultural issues. Whilst Meera Syal's writing was really good, I couldn't enjoy the book as much as I had wanted to because I didn't like Chila and Tania as much as I had wanted to. Overall, a good read still.

3.5 stars

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

....and neither is this book. Entertaining in it's way, but it does feel somewhat like Meera Syal is treading water with this one - particularly in comparison to it's predecessor 'Anita & Me'.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A greatly enjoyable and engrossing read, set in London's East End, telling the stories of young women from Punjabi backgrounds.

Each individual has a dilemma, and her story is linked to another member of the group. There are very funny, laugh aloud moments, plus some times of intense sadness. I got completely into each of their stories. There is Chila, so innocent, so naive , but surprisingly resilient and her husband Deepak. Then we meet Sunita, and her friend Tania. The relationships between husbands and wives, the complications of marital infidelity, all play a part, with the backdrop of the Punjabi culture, their community roots and the importance of family.

I loved this book and was sorry when I reached the end, I sympathised with the characters in their sadness and also laughed with them. I recommend this as a great read to anyone who needs some uplift and laughter in their life, and enjoys reading about strong, brave women.

[Vickie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I see a little bit of myself in each of the three main characters. My friends from class assumed that Tania would be my Punjabi-alter-ego: Features that stand out from other Asian girls, Westernized attitude, etc. But I'd like to think that I grew out of rejecting my native culture after studying abroad.

It was Sunita that really spoke to me. She's an ex-bra-burning feminist who fell madly in love with a fellow Punjabi thinker, failed out of college, got married and had two kids. Basically going through a bit of a mid-life crisis in this book. I see her as what I might become in the future. Feminist advocate. Mom. Wife. And fat. (Laugh away, but weight gain is a very real fear to me.) Her transition from extreme "feminist" to embracing motherhood... Comforts me. To me, being a feminist shouldn't be about denying the feminine. And I definitely look forward to motherhood.

Oh, and the chapter on Chila giving birth? Genius. Reminds me of that naked chase scene in Borat.

[Mitchan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointingly bad chick lit (and I don't like chick lit at the best of times) more so as was expecting something better from Syal. Unfortunately reminiscent of Sari and Sins. No interest in any of the 2D characters, I think the time has come to give up on books I'm not enjoying rather than stubbornly dragging myself all the way through it.

[nadia · Rating 3 out of 5]

my first south asian diaspora type novel-i was hooked and intrigued by reading about anything close to my own experience. looking back, i still think it was a great story about 4 women and the development of their adult relationship with eachother.

[e. · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75/5 ⭐ just when i thought i couldn’t hate men more.

[VivaPalestina · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read portraying the journey of three British/Asian girls as they battle with the sense of not belonging to either culture, never fitting in with either. At times I felt I could relate to their hardships, (despite feeling that the Indians have it better than the Arabs) as they struggle to break free from all the labels placed on them, but on the whole, I also felt a self of relief that I could most definitely not classify myself as one of them, as my sense of belonging far exceeds theirs. After a while however the plot overtakes you and you become engrossed in their lives that their background becomes immaterial. Definitely brings back a sense of nostalgia and a recommended read.


"The endless questions of who what why she was, to whom she belonged (father/husband/workplace), why her life wasn't following the ordained patterns for a woman of her age, religion, height and income bracket. The sheer physical effrontery of her people, wanting to inside her head, to own her, claim her, preserve her. Her people."

"You find someone, they love you, they hurt you, you forgive them, you carry on, because there's no question you'd give up on someone just because they've turned out to human is there?"

"Always proud to be who they were, but not scared to push back the boundaries, to redefine what being Asian meant. We were making history"

"She had constructed a whole life around it. No one must leave. No one leaves nice people. I am nice. I will make myself nice."

"You don't learn the important stuff from books. It happens to you and someone gives it a long name aferwards."

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meera Syal should be Lady Sybil because she should. (And if you haven't seen Meera Syal in the first season of The Split, you should correct that).

This novel traces the events in the lives of three women who have been friends since children. Then Tania makes a film that lies bare what life is like for her two friends. This and an other event leads to a rupture.

The best thing about the book is the use of narration. Syal uses thirds person but at various chapters, she allows the women - Tania, Sunita, Chila to speak for themselves. The voices of the three women are totally different from each other, so even without the section headings, you know who is speaking. Additionally Tania, Sunita, and Chila all might be "sterotypical" in the roles they have been assigned, but Syal inverts and subverts those sterotypes.

Additionally, she touches on the conflicts between long time white and usually older residents and the changing nature of neighborhoods.

[Lorraine · Rating 3 out of 5]

An excellent blend of chiclit and serious literature. The book is not a "light read" but is disguised as one, with the way it encompasses topics of typical chic lit fiction (love, adultery, dull marriages, girl friends, midlife crisis, dysfunctional families) with profound insight and realism -- no sugar coating, but no hyperbolic drama, either. The combination of three women, very different but intimately bound together, makes for a good read.
Even though my own journey is so different from theirs, there were many times when the descriptions used to identify their situations spoke exactly to something I have felt. The author is spot on with her characters and their emotions. And she explains them thoroughly but concisely.

There's so much material in this book, it would be perfect for discussion groups.

[sonia · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good piece of chick lit. Nice to read after you get through something heavy (in my case i was reading a lot about child soldiers in africa, i needed something light). Also Sayal has a perfect, razor sharp, witty writing style. I am always impressed by books that can make me laugh outloud.

[Nafisah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended to me by my sister, I ended up really liking this book for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's written by Meera Syal who you may know from "Goodness Gracious Me" or any number of the other things she's contributed to. So needless to say there's a good amount of dry humor but each of the three main characters are incredibly compelling and although they are worlds different from one another the reader can relate to each of them, become invested in them, and want to shake them when they do stupid things.

I definitely enjoyed reading this and while any sociology/amcult undergrad could find some race/gender issues in here that they don't like, not every book will be politically flawless and the ones that are don't end up with as realistically compelling characters as this book had. In other words the imperfections in this book make it a great vehicle to discuss the tropes and cliches that are brought up...let me know what your thoughts are!

[Harpreet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I sort of expected this book to be funnier as most of its reviews said that it was hilarious. However, even though the story wasn't as funny as I expected, the story eas extremely touching. It is an emotional novel, and you might find yourself feeling genuinely about many of the characters in the book.

[Jaimini Patel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was most gripped by this book right in the middle, when Sunita describes how she hates her body and Deepak describes why he chose to marry Chila even though he loves Tania.
This book is the most colourful depiction of the Catch-22 situation so many British-Indian women find themselves in: we are told be the wife to become happy, but don’t you have to give up on your happiness to become the wife?
It made me wonder whether men really do wake up one day and decide whether they’re ready for love? And if they do that, can that ever really be love? Raises more questions than it answers, but it’s the depiction of Tania, Chila and Sunita’s friendship that runs through the whole story, even when it is totally unravelled.
Really stuck with me.

[erdem külüğ · Rating 1 out of 5]

ide kapatilsin

[Juliana Graham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really surprised me - I remember seeing the adaptation on TV quite a few years ago and enjoying it, but the details were very hazy. I was expecting this to be quite light and fluffy, a typical chick lit quick read. However, I was instantly struck by Meera Syal's beautiful writing style and the way she portrays the characters so well that it's like we've known them for as long as they've known each other. Divided into two clear parts, there is a definite shocking moment at the end of part one - part two focuses more on the characters as individuals after that event causes shockwaves for all of them. It takes another big moment to bring everyone back together - a conclusion that I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with If I had been Chila, I don't think I would have forgiven Tanja for her betrayal with Deepak, though I suppose it is significant that she never really loved him anyway. However, Tanja didn't know that and so the betrayal by the friend, however longstanding the friendship, seems an insurmountable problem to me! - but overall a very enjoyable, well written book.

[Amar · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book, read it in 24 hrs, laughed so hard at times my sides hurt. My husband is English Indian so his references helped quite a bit. Aside from the funny bits, Meera had some great insights about modern South Asian women...one that sticks out particularly is "no matter how succesful she was outside of the home (be it dr, scientist, CEO), the Asian woman always had to bow her head to her in-laws/Indian society at some point" (that is my general recollection of that line anyway!)

For more Meera Syal, be sure to watch the Indian sketch show based in the UK, Goodness Gracious Me...you will laugh so HARD!

[Bookish]

Meera Syal dedicated this novel to her East London kuriyaan (girls) although it is decidedly a novel about any woman who feels pulled in different directions by multiple identities. Chila, Sunita, and Tania are childhood friends juggling their roles as wives, mothers, and lovers in London. When Tania makes a documentary starring her best friends, old secrets and betrayals surface to test their friendship. Actress Syal balances the heavier subjects in this novel with a comic touch that would be familiar to fans of her hilarious characters in the 1990’s British television series, Goodness Gracious Me. —Balli Kaur Jaswal (https://www.bookish.com/articles/book...)

[Catnoble70 · Rating 2 out of 5]

An insight into Indian culture and relationships from the viewpoint of 4 female friends, I found it mildly entertaining, but it tried too hard to be funny and didn't succeed. Only read if you find yourself with absolutely nothing else to do except shoot yourself

[Nazia Ahmed · Rating 4 out of 5]

The friendship bond between the three characters. I felt the three best friends portrayed well. A revealing insight into Asian culture, community and expectation in an East vs West, modern vs traditional clash. A real, funny, moving and entertaining book.

[penelopewanders]

I have to confess that when I signed up for this ring I did think the title was pretty silly, and as there was a fairly long time between when I signed up and when it arrived, I had no recollection of what the book would be about. I was happily surprised to realize the setting was Punjhabi families/women in the UK... and was reminded of Born Confused, for example. This turned out to really not be like that, but I found it moving and well worth the read nonetheless. The friendship of the three women, and the betrayal was searingly convincing. A good read.

[Laila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life in fact isn't all ha ha hee hee. Felt good to finish this one in Pakistan. Parts of it felt so dramatic (a little like Polite Society, which I think works better in the film format rather than this one) and parts of it felt so cliched. But nevertheless good commentary on girlhood and womanhood and sisterhood and gender roles and just being a person in a South Asian society in the diaspora. It also isn't a ha ha hee hee book contrary to some reviews - it deals with a lot of heavy stuff but it does make the reader feel at ease through it all.

[Kirsty Chatwood · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a slow burner for me. I enjoyed it but it took too long to get into the rhythm for me.

[Ipswichblade · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent read, just a bit too long

[Silvia Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insight to other people's customs and beliefs! The next generation may feel different!

[Harsha Priolkar · Rating 3 out of 5]

My second book of the year and the one that finally broke the reading rut I've found myself in for too long now! I've seen Syal on TV in the Brit sitcoms she's appeared in but never read her. Having now read her, I must say I like her writing better than her acting!

'Life isn't all Ha Ha Hee Hee' is the story of three friends, three women Tania, Chila and Sunita, bound together by an inherent streak of independence and a underlying desire to break free from the Punjabi roots that bind them all. Each rebellious in their own way, the story traces their journey through Chila's unexpectedly 'fortunate' nuptials; Sunita's crumbling marriage and Tania's existential angst. Through the inevitable roller coaster that is Life, they love, support and betray each other in turns making for an interesting if unoriginal storyline.

What kept me reading was Syal's sharp, funny often vicious wit; her direct no-nonsense prose; and her considerable understanding of the migrant Punjabi Brit community that the girls belong to. She writes with complete conviction and an authentic sympathy, which helped me understand the 'how and why' of things even when I didn't agree with them. This book was first published in 1999 and yet manages to feel undated. Perhaps the concerns and problems of migrant populations have changed in today's world, but given recent events around the globe, I doubt it. This book brought home to me not how much time changes us but how much we stay unchanged despite it's onslaught.

An interesting and absorbing read that will stay with me and that has made me want to read Syal's debut award-winning novel, Anita & Me.

[Akemi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, that was fast, especially after trudging through Vanity Fair. Easily inhalable, pretty standard Indians-in-England fare..which I guess seems like rather non-standard fare, but not in light of Bend It Like Beckham, Monsoon Wedding, etc. This reminded me a lot of Zadie Smith- I guess White Teeth, rather than On Beauty, though I can't remember the plot of either terribly clearly.

The point is, all the themes were rather cliche- Indian culture is sexist, career vs. marriage and babies, marriage for love or convenience, cultural integration is hard. While these are important things to think about, I didn't feel that Syal had much new to add to the discussion. Plus, shit got weird at the end. The last section narrated by Tania is just odd, out of place, and self-consciously "artsy." Her father's death seemed unnecessary..like she just needed some dramatic way to end the book. Y'know, because Deepak stealing the baby wasn't dramatic enough. Okay, as much as I seem to be hating on this book, it was enjoyable, I swear.

[Aleeda]

I was curiously reminded, over and over again, of Terry McMillan's Waiting to Exhale. Tania, Sunita and Chila are frequently nteresting women that you can laugh with--I am sorry, I did NOT understand Chila--, but who also make you say puhleeze...put on your big girl panties and grow up! I loved the peek into Indian culture, which is far more proscribed (I don't like to say restrictive, having met two wonderfully happy, pampered, strong, Indian women personally) than my own. It must be difficult, not to be able to feel as though you can make your own choices, but in many ways, the characters' letting other people dicatate their lives is actually a choice. The novel touches on the politcal as well as the personal, and there are issues that every woman can identify with. I cannot imagine African-American friends being willing to forgive the betrayal that brings them together again. I was also wondering, if like Terry McMillan, Meera Syal has three friends who are no longer speaking to her because she has shared their secrets in a work of "fiction". ;-)