Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives

by Gretchen Rubin

The #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before distills her key insights into simple truths for living with greater satisfaction, clarity, and happiness.

The right idea, invoked at the right time, can change our lives. Drawing from her long studies of happiness, and also from the challenges she’s faced herself, writer Gretchen Rubin has discovered the “Secrets of Adulthood” that can help us manage the complexities of life. To convey her conclusions, she turned to the aphorism—the ancient literary discipline that demands that a writer convey a large truth in a few words.

Perhaps you’re paralyzed by indecision, struggling to navigate a big change, fighting a temptation, or puzzled by the behavior of someone you love; whatever you face, the right aphorism can help. From procrastination to the pursuit of happiness, Secrets of Adulthood is filled with witty and thought-provoking reflections such

“Recognize that, like sleeping with a big dog in a small bed, things that are uncomfortable can also be comforting”“Accept yourself, expect more from yourself”“Easy children raise good parents” “What can be done at any time is often done at no time”
For anyone undergoing a major life transition, such as graduation, career switch, marriage, or moving, or for those just encountering everyday dilemmas, these disarmingly brief aphorisms will inspire you by articulating truths that you never before noticed—and instantly recognize.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Audiobook, Personal Development, Psychology, Adult, Mental Health

176 pages, Hardcover

Published April 1, 2025

About the author

NEW AUDIBLE ORIGINAL AUDIOBOOK

In "Get It Done: How to Complete Your Dream Project," bestselling author Gretchen Rubin brings her signature approach to help you finally complete your dream project.

Drawing on her decades of knowledge of how people successfully change behavior, Rubin offers tools to help you break down any big project, stay focused, and keep moving forward. LISTEN ON AUDIBLE

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AUTHOR BIO

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. 

She’s the author of many New York Times bestselling books, such as The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies, Life in Five Senses, and Secrets of Adulthood, which have sold millions of copies in more than thirty languages. Her next book Secrets of Adulthood comes out April 2025.

She’s the host of the popular, award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she and her co-host (and sister) Elizabeth Craft explore strategies and insights about how to make life happier. As the founder of The Happiness Project, she has helped create imaginative products for people to use in their own happiness projects.

She has been interviewed by Oprah, eaten dinner with Nobel Prize-winner Daniel Kahneman, walked arm-in-arm with the Dalai Lama, had her work reported on in a medical journal, been written up in the New Yorker, and been an answer on Jeopardy!

Gretchen Rubin started her career in law, and she realized she wanted to be a writer while she was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her family.

Reviews

[Elena Kyriakos · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is essentially a collection of fortune cookies or Pinterest quotes

[Gayle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Argh! I wanted to love this book and I really tried. Calling it a book to begin with is a stretch. It’s not really a book. It’s a collection of one line wisdom. Although the wisdom is good, does this constitute a book? Can you really read something like this? Retain a bazillion one-liners? Seems more like a journal one would personally keep, not something publishable.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for my ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book will be published April 1, 2025.

I’ve been a big fan of Gretchen’s work since 2010 when I read The Happiness Project. I was actually invited to be on Katie Couric’s talk show in 2011 to discuss that book and I got to meet Gretchen. 😀

I’ve since read EVERY book she’s written and listened to EVERY episode of her podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin. I’m definitely a super fan.

But back to my review…For super fans there will be some aphorisms you’ve heard before but there were quite a lot of new ones. While it’s a quick read I think it’s best to read slowly to really appreciate each one.

[Brandi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this would be a great gift for kids graduating from HS or college. I can also seeing it being a good book for the coffee table. I saw a few anecdotes I could use as a daily affirmation, or a way to help myself destress. It sits around 70 pages, so it’s best to digest in little chunks.

Thank you Crown & Net Galley for an advanced copy of this read.

[Bianca]

This book was among a stack of library books on my bed-side table.
I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep, so I thought I'd read something instead of scrolling on my mobile.

The elephant in the room: this is a very small book, with very little text, lots of empty spaces, one word chapter pages.

It is a collection of aphorisms, life mantras, inspirational quotes - I didn't disagree with any.

BUT

This costs 30-35 AUD (Australian $) as much as most novels and even some non-fiction books cost in Australia - so yeah, I can't help but feel like the publishers are taking people for fools, even when knowing that it's not stupid who asks, but that who pays (paraphrasing, and just like Rubin, I won't attribute - in my case, because I don't know the source).

Yes, I know that publishing is a business blah blah, still, there are things that irk me even though I love books.

This was brought to you by cranky-pants-had-enough Bianca. :-)

[Samantha B · Rating 3 out of 5]

I absolutely love Gretchen Rubin's work, and am very excited every time she releases a new book! That said, this book was a bit of a disappointment for me, because it was not truly a book from her persepective about her "life experiments," or even a book about the theory of something (like the Four Tendencies), but rather a collection of aphorisms. I knew that the book was *about* aphorisms, but I wasn't expecting that to be the whole thing--I was hoping there'd be more anecdotes, applications, &c. It was also very short--in ebook form, felt more like a pamphlet than a book!

However, it was well-organized, and I can certainly appreciate the satisfaction of compiling something like this! And I enjoyed reading through the aphorisms.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rubin is one of the best self-help authors out there: Her books are practical, well-researched and genuinely helpful. She understands human nature and targets her strategies to suit different personality types. If you know her work, you’re likely aware of her fondness for aphorisms. “Sometimes, a single sentence can provide all the insight we need,” she believes. Here she collects her own pithy sayings relating to happiness, self-knowledge, relationships, work, creativity and decision-making. Some of the aphorisms were familiar to me through her previous books or her social media. They’re straightforward and sensible, distilling down to a few words truths we might be aware of but hadn’t truly absorbed. Like the great aphorists throughout history, Rubin relishes alliteration, repetition and contrasts. Some examples:

Accept yourself, and expect more from yourself.

I admire nature, and I am also nature. I resent traffic, and I am also traffic.

Work is the play of adulthood. If we’re not failing, we’re not trying hard enough.

Don’t wait until you have more free time. You may never have more free time.

This is not as meaty as her other work, and some parts feel redundant, but that’s the nature of the project. It would make a good bedside book for nibbles of inspiration.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

[SusanTalksBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short book by a very successful author and podcaster to indulge her interest in and collection of aphorisms (def: a pithy observation that contains a general truth, such as, “if it ain't broke, don't fix it.”), due to be released just before graduation season, April 1, 2025. Thank you to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for giving me a copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.

I have a confession - I also love special quotes and aphorisms, although I have never used the word 'aphorism' in my life. I used to collect them as a kid, through college, and into young adulthood on bits of paper during that pre-internet time of life. So I relate to author Gretchen Rubin's connection to simple guidance to make sometimes big decisions.

Now onto the book. I loved the opening where she delved into some history of these types of sayings and the role of them in her life. I felt some of the most powerful aphorisms were in this opener!

From there the book is broken down into sections: Cultivating Ourselves, Facing the Perplexities of Relationships, Making Things Happen, and Confronting Life's Dilemmas. Within each of those sections we get sub-sections related to it, and quotes/aphorisms tied to the sub-section topic. Each section has a very brief introduction including a little history of Ms. Rubin's life tied to this subject. My favorite section was at the end: Simple Secrets of Adulthood, which has no sub-sections, but more a practical list of dealing with life and planning your life. Many great tips here.

I liked this book, but it took me less than 30-minutes to read it. It is definitely a light "reference" book, a good book for young people who will probably ignore all the advice within. It will be popular because it is written by Ms. Rubin and makes a good gift. And that's ok - it is worth a read for the great collection of sayings we all love. I have two kids in college and will probably buy it for them, although I doubt they'll read it lol. 4-stars because I think her intros to each section could have been a bit more robust and I felt like the book overall could have had a bit more meat to it.

[Amina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have enjoyed many of Gretchen‘s books and her podcast. This “book” is more like a pamphlet of Greatest Hits she’s already shared. I’m so glad I got this book from the library, I would have been mad if I had spent good money on recycled material that I read in less than an hour.

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm keeping a book of wise aphorisms I've found helpful in life. Rubin does that, too. In addition, she has come up with this book of aphorisms she has created herself. Many of them offer the truth to be found in opposites; many others offer the truth to be found in parallel thought. Some I found to be the truth of privilege. I don't think my friends who worked in dangerous conditions in chemical plants during varying shifts of time all their lives would agree with, People don't talk enough about how comforting work is, though she does acknowledge, and wisely I would say, Where we start out makes a big difference in where we end up. Some are simply opinion: A quest is more fun than a jaunt. Mmm. Not sure about that. I like quests and jaunts.

But there are some aphorisms I'd like to save to think about more, maybe even to store away in my book of wise aphorisms I've found:

When in doubt about how to spend our time, energy, or money, spend it on relationships.

When uncertain about how to proceed, make the choice that allows you to...
* Choose the bigger life
* Step into the future
* Live in an atmosphere of growth
* Deepen or broaden your relationships
* Put your values into the world

If you're dreading a family occasion, bring a guest. Many difficult people behave better in front of outsiders.

Focus on actions, not outcomes.

If there's something you want to do, make it more convenient.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Gretchen Rubin, and to love Gretchen Rubin is to love her aphorisms. I have read many of her books and listened to the Happier podcast. So I often find myself reciting at least a handful in my daily life. I can see myself re-visiting each section or aphorism as needed... definitely a good nightstand/desktop book. I also found myself reading a few of them aloud to my husband. They're fun to share and interesting to think on for a while.

The introduction and the dedication to her daughters is quite endearing--and practical. I think this is why many are finding this book to be a perfect graduation gift. I agree. I am sure to do just that at some point.

[Jessica Ashe · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 🌟

Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read “secrets of adulthood” in exchange for an honest review.

This was my 2nd book by Gretchen Rubin and it was nothing at all like her first one or how I expected this to be based on the description.

This book was a book of aphorisms she had compiled over the years to give young adults or adults seeking more knowledge insight into her secrets to success & happiness.

I found it a bit unhelpful because it’s too many to actually digest at one time. Maybe this book would be more helpful if you purchased a physical copy to reflect back on:

Overall, I don’t think I am the correct audience for this read

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing you don't already know, sorry!

[Jessica Scheid · Rating 5 out of 5]

Someone super smart and beautiful got this book for me to read and they have such good taste! Loved this book and all its simple wisdom.

[Amy Brown (amylikestoreadalot) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short snd sweet, I will be buying a copy for my shelves. Very short-would love to have had more insight from Gretchen!!

[Kathryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

literally just a book of aphorisms. aphorisms are much more useful one at a time on a pillow than they are all at once in a book. oh look, i made my own aphorism.

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this quick-read book delightful and thought-provoking.

The book collects all the aphorisms (wisdom captured in a clever phrase) that Gretchen Rubin has authored based on her own life observations and experience. The aphorisms are separated into thematic collections and each collection has a short introduction. I am a many-years devotee of Gretchen Rubin and so the content of this book is right up my alley. But anyone interested in self-knowledge, self-improvement, or just pondering the truths of the world would enjoy this book. While reading this book, I found myself pondering what little life truths I have observed and what aphorisms I might write.

This is a book I would love to own and thumb through occasionally because often I felt that I wanted to consider an aphorism for a while, and I would love to be reminded of them from time to time to see what strikes me. This book would also make a great gift to a college graduate, a retiree, or anyone else entering a new chapter of adulthood, even a new parent.

Thank you so much to Crown Publishing and Net Galley for the advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Hudson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very cute and short read. Really got the gears turning with some of these aphorisms. The "Simple Secrets of Adulthood" section was fun to read through and I want to try and implement some in my own life (see below). TBH I probably could have waited a few more years to read this, but I can already see how some of the truths are present. When I was younger, my grandma used to make my sisters, cousins, and I read chinese proverbs/aphorisms. This book felt like that lol.

Simple Secrets to Try:
- Keep mementos that are small in size and few in number.
- Leave some room in the suitcase.
- To understand a new place, visit a grocery store.

[Golden · Rating 4 out of 5]

It grew on me. As an audiobook it felt kind of silly at first, but it’s actually rather nice. Something that would be nice to re-listen to or gift to someone.

[Marta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read by the author, this is very pleasant company on audio. The format is a list style of truisms by topic. listening to this brought me up but I'm not sure how much will stick.

[Tayla Slay · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book talks about nothing.

[Brandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful collection of aphorisms (etc.) and helpful ways of looking at life gleaned from Rubin's years spent collecting 'right to the point' saying. My favorite of hers: The days are long, but the years are short. I say this all this time. So true.

[Lynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, short, fun read but it's a collection of quotes without more.

[Giuliana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can confirm that most of these truths are true. As far as I can tell, at least. Based on my very short life. I finished it wondering, though, what was the point of that? I don't read much self help at all, though I'm frequently tempted to flip through when I'm stocking them at work (that's what made me pick this up). And after reading one, I just can't help but wonder what exactly these books are meant to do. None of the tips in this book, good and true as they may be, are going to rewire a reader's mind and habits—mostly because they're stacked one on top of the other for who 170 pages and all start to blend together into an undecipherable swarm of wisdom buzzing in one ear and out the other. The best we can hope for is that something will stick and resurface when we need it, or that one thing will resonate right now and spark significant change. For the most part, though, I think this is just another example of instant gratification. Instead of putting in the work and paying attention to our lives in such a way that inspires real understanding, we can read the fortune cookie advice of someone who has done the work in order to be comfortable for a few minutes. It gives us a false sense of security, a sense of control in the face of the unapproachable confusion and complexity of a future. I say all this, but I still read the whole book. I guess I'm as desperate as anyone for a little bit of understanding. I want to be the person who knows all these truths. If I ever am, it won't be because I read them in a book. It'll be because I learned from experience after experience over many years of life.

[Lucy S · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's very short but I think that's the point: just the simple bare-bones wisdom. Some of these have changed my perspective for the better and I know some of them will stick with me.

[Dee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a feeling that this was more fun to write than for us to read. This is a collection of aphorisms, and I am sure there will be or two that are powerful for each reader but that is a lot of effort for one or two aphorisms. Maye it is more of a graduation gift.

[Gwen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok….couple of nuggets. Quick read but when I read something like this realize I could definitely write a book. 🙄. Good choice if you’re trying to make up ground on your challenge goal.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading Gretchen Rubin’s aphorisms on happiness, self-improvement, and perspective, among other “secrets” of adulthood. Many of the topics are introduced with a brief story from the author’s life or an explanation of the context of well-known aphorisms. Sections are short and digestible. Rubin says she kept the tone of this book positive, although she has also written more bleak aphorisms that did not fit into this collection. This would make a nice gift for graduates or someone beginning a new chapter in their life.

Thanks to Eidelweiss for the egalley and chance to read this book early. I will be ordering a physical copy to keep on my bookshelf to flip through when I need a small dose of positivity and wisdom.

[Brahm Kornbluth · Rating 1 out of 5]

From a writer who is usually witty and insightful, this is a (thankfully) short collection of cliches and fortune cookie inserts. Surprisingly bad and totally unoriginal.

[Sandhyni · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Perfectionism is driven not by high standards but by anxiety.", ok that one hits the hardest.But, basically a giant fortune cookie.