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Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow
Have you ever wondered why chasing love, success, or pleasure feels like an unending struggle? Or why the things you want are always out of reach?
Drawing on a new study of 4,000 people, renowned therapist and award-winning author Jay Stringer reveals how desire—the most powerful and misunderstood force in our lives—shapes who we love, what we chase, and the life we create.
“A master class in caring for the human spirit.”—Will Guidara, New York Times bestselling author of Unreasonable Hospitality
Desire drives our search for intimacy, meaning, and joy, but it can also lead to shame, betrayal, and self-sabotage. Too often we are encouraged to silence it, distort it, or treat surface-level symptoms like loneliness, low desire, or porn use—without listening to what our longings are really telling us.
In Desire, Stringer shows how to decode those clues and transform your story. Drawing on unforgettable stories from his clinical practice—individuals and couples navigating everything from childhood scars to purity culture, professional exhaustion to sexual difficulties, codependency to self-doubt—he shows you how to ask the questions you’ve been avoiding and move toward the healing you didn’t know how to seek.
This book doesn’t offer quick fixes. Through deep compassion and research, it offers something far more the invitation to approach your desires with curiosity, so you can stop unhealthy patterns and begin building a life of connection, purpose, and love.
Drawing on a new study of 4,000 people, renowned therapist and award-winning author Jay Stringer reveals how desire—the most powerful and misunderstood force in our lives—shapes who we love, what we chase, and the life we create.
“A master class in caring for the human spirit.”—Will Guidara, New York Times bestselling author of Unreasonable Hospitality
Desire drives our search for intimacy, meaning, and joy, but it can also lead to shame, betrayal, and self-sabotage. Too often we are encouraged to silence it, distort it, or treat surface-level symptoms like loneliness, low desire, or porn use—without listening to what our longings are really telling us.
In Desire, Stringer shows how to decode those clues and transform your story. Drawing on unforgettable stories from his clinical practice—individuals and couples navigating everything from childhood scars to purity culture, professional exhaustion to sexual difficulties, codependency to self-doubt—he shows you how to ask the questions you’ve been avoiding and move toward the healing you didn’t know how to seek.
This book doesn’t offer quick fixes. Through deep compassion and research, it offers something far more the invitation to approach your desires with curiosity, so you can stop unhealthy patterns and begin building a life of connection, purpose, and love.
Kindle Edition
Published March 3, 2026
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About the author
Jay Stringer
41 books120 followersJay Stringer was born in 1980, and he’s not dead yet.
He’s English by birth and Scottish by rumour; born in the Black Country, and claiming Glasgow as his hometown.
Jay is dyslexic, and came to the written word as a second language, via comic books, music, and comedy. He writes hard boiled crime stories, dark comedies, and social fiction.
His first three books, the Eoin Miller Trilogy explored the political and criminal landscape of the West Midlands.
He now writes books set in Glasgow and New York.
Jay won a gold medal in the Antwerp Olympics of 1920. He did not compete in the Helsinki Olympics of 1952, that was some other guy.
Jay is represented by Stacia Decker at Dunow, Carlson & Lerner.
He’s English by birth and Scottish by rumour; born in the Black Country, and claiming Glasgow as his hometown.
Jay is dyslexic, and came to the written word as a second language, via comic books, music, and comedy. He writes hard boiled crime stories, dark comedies, and social fiction.
His first three books, the Eoin Miller Trilogy explored the political and criminal landscape of the West Midlands.
He now writes books set in Glasgow and New York.
Jay won a gold medal in the Antwerp Olympics of 1920. He did not compete in the Helsinki Olympics of 1952, that was some other guy.
Jay is represented by Stacia Decker at Dunow, Carlson & Lerner.
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