Bear with me, this is going to be long.
Firstly, apologies to the well-meaning person who bought me a signed copy of "Big Snake" by Robert Twigger. You obviously can't have known it was going to be a book that pissed me off to the point of being fuming for a whole day.
The first warning sign was the 3 recommendations on the reverse cover came from: The Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday and Maxim. But I know you don't choose your fans and your editor most likely chooses which reviews to quote. The second sign was that very early on we learn that the author is an Oxbridge type whose Grandad was a Colonel, whose huge house had an orchard.
He also revels in the fact said Grandad sent him and the other kids into the orchard to ensure they would be stung by bees and not grow up worried about bee stings. In the circles I move in, there's a name for those guys. Psychopaths. Also, that said Grandad was a boxer who used to walk into bars and be deliberately obtuse until someone started a fight and he battered them ("sharpening his skills"). Again,several words for this kind of person spring to mind.
Now - the younger, stupider me would have written him off from that information alone. Reverse snobbery and all that. Idiotic. I love books and films and art and music by some very, very privileged people. I recognized that as a prejudice, which brings me to this:
Robert Twigger is, or was at the time he chose to record his "thoughts", a misogynist dickhead.
I don't really need to do anything more than quote page 40 (the penultimate page before I gave up).
"Ally was Zaki's prized possession, a blond haired English model, his girlfriend". You're expecting him to go on to perhaps explore this "possession" issue, discuss that that's how Zaki saw it and that he was a misogynist for seeing it/treating her as such, right? No such luck, it just glides by, she's his possession. It gets better:
"Ally had an extraordinary pair of breasts that somehow got in everybody's face, but when I averted my eyes I quickly concluded that she was, in fact, weak-minded".
I know he's been described as a 19th Century Explorer trapped in a modern body, but is he a parody of one? He goes on talking about her boobs until he's "elbowed out of the way by a new admirer." Did I mention he's on a trip to catch a snake as a last adventure before he gets married? Lucky lady.
As if that's not bad enough, THE PAGE AFTER he complains about how an ex-convict in the bar "sizes me up first" before talking to him. Yeah, imagine that, imagine someone gawping at your appearance and making judgments on you based on your physical form and exaggerated body language in a bar where you clearly stand out.
Total moron, awful writer, but worst of all: a celebrated misogynist.