Milky

DNF Bookstore: A Shared World

by Daisy Jane

Herb is the best kind of man.

He always listens.

He’s very agreeable.

He helps me at work.

He’s a good cleaner.

He doesn’t complain.

And holy moly can he suck.

I thought it would be me and Herb forever, the only guy to ever understand my needs.
Then one night when Herb and I are cleaning the DNF bookshop, I notice my favorite book is no longer on the shelves.

We discover a cute guy in the store, reading our favorite book:
Milk Mama: The Adult Male's Guide to Drinking Milk From The Source.

All I can hope is that he's into MFV.

Genres: Novella, Romance, Smut, Contemporary, Short Stories, Erotica, M M F

Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 2024

About the author

Daisy Jane is a forbidden love romance author, inspired by VC Andrews and more . When she's not penning a hot age gap novel or dreaming up steamy stories, she's enjoying the sunshine and warmth at her home in California. She enjoys reading, true crime, exercise and, of course, romance.

Connect with Daisy!

WEBSITE: DaisyJane.com

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FACEBOOK: Daisy on FB

INSTAGRAM: Daisy on IG

PINTEREST: Daisy on Pinterest

Reviews

[Grapie Deltaco]

Herb is a vacuum cleaner and not even a sentient one. He is a regular vacuum cleaner.

[Alexandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

these novellas are suppose to be unhinged and cringe worthy. the books you DNF. the fact that her being in a relationship with her vacuum was the least weird part for me. it was the fact that this guy was a hipster and unironically wore a fedora that had me physically ill. other than that perfect book lol

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Read?! I struggled. Not gonna lie. The humour was top notch but I also had in the back of my mind that you hear stories with hoovers and for many this might actually be a real kink. And where I dont wanna yuck someone elses yum, I just. Cant.
“Power up, bitches. Its go time”
This was the strangest, funniest, oddest, most fucked up thing ive read. And ive read some weird shit. Herb was an actual part of this relationship and Chip just took it on the chin like a champ.
I was MILCH.. Nope
I know this is a DNF series but im sat here questioning HOW you finished freaking writing it 🤣☠️

[ꪖꪶꫀ᥊ⅈડ ꪆৎ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm dead, that was HILARIOUS WTF!🤣

[ashlee ❤ · Rating 4 out of 5]

hahaha i just...can't. haha but of course, it was a great palate cleanser & delivered on the comedic relief! 😂😂😂

-dnf series challenge
-m/f/v (vacuum)
-lactation knk
-cringe count: 2
-ridiculousness laugh count: 9

[Angel · Rating 1 out of 5]

BRB going to wash my eyes out with sawdust and dirty needles.

[Briar Reeds · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a heads up- this book is SUPPOSED to be cringy af. This is -not- Daisys normal work. It’s for a series called DNF, where authors with questionable sanity try their best to make you uncomfortable and physically recoil.

I will be basing my ratings for this series off of that!

Cringe: 5/5
Did I physically recoil: yes
Did I audibly laugh: yes
Did I read my highlights to my husband dramatically? Yes
Spice: I mean .. idk how to judge this tbh lmao. Yes there was spice, but…cringy spice. (The secret sixth spice girl)
Overall: 5/5. Hits the mark for what it’s trying to!

Leche and Herb meet Chip in the eclectic bookshop named DNF, where someone can bring the books they DNF and rehome them, trade them for another.

For two years, Leche waited for someone to pull the SPECIAL book. Its finally happened. Leche and her lover have an instant connection to Chip & they try to hold out but the bond is TOO STRONG! (Lmaooo)

There is a tense moment that will have you on the edge of your seat wondering if someone will make it out!

Leche, Herb, and their new lover Chip will put the bounds of their new love to the test.
Did I mention Herb … is a vacuum?

Tropes :
-MFV (m/f/vacuum)
-compliments like “you remind me of my mom”
-fedoras and axe body spray
-hot yoda talk

[iasmina♡]

"“You remind me so much of my mom,” I tell her as I nuzzle close over the top of Herb.
Leche’s grin is wide. “That’s the best compliment,”"

this one was not as traumatizing as the first one but still terrifying.

[Adrienne Klassen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just when you think it's reached its unhinged limit, it shocks you and takes you to a place you didn't know existed. And could have lived your whole life not knowing it existed.

No kink shaming, but I may judge the way you choose your household cleaning supplies...

[Peppa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t know why I’m reading this series, but man this is addictive in its own really really messed up ridiculous way !!
Don’t even know what to say here otherwise that it’s was really bad but somehow still good😭

[Izzah ꒰Duchess of Cabria ಇ ⭑✧ ᴏɴ ᴘᴀᴛʀᴇᴏɴ ✧ ⋆꒱]

DNF series challenge, review series

I'm reading the DNF series books because... I don't know. I hate myself? I'm not going to rate them because it's too subjective, but I am going to rank them from favorite to least favorite.

📖 ༘⋆⸝ ⸝ My thoughts
・
・
・
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🕮⋆˚࿔✎𓂃 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[Jasmine Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first question is why did I like this? 🤣 I was intrigued and giggling from the first page to the last. Leche, Herb, and Chip are a match made, not in heaven, but in the DNF bookshop. (My girl Story is working overtime to help these people find love LOL she needs a raise) My absolute favorite part was their trip to the hospital and Leche’s concern for Herb’s wellbeing shined through. I didn’t cringe or even think about putting the book down once! I laughed, I blushed, and I enjoyed the ride. If you’re looking for something a little more imaginative, fun and quick, Milky should be your next read!

[Loz🪐🤍 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I kept seeing the DNF series all over bookish groups on social media and honestly? Curiosity got the better of me..

Just wow. From the get go (and the cover) I knew it was gonna be to do with boobs and milk but a f*cking hoover?! A 24 hour hoover hospital??

I cringed so hard the whole 86 pages of this, but that’s the whole point isn’t it🤣

[Emily Johnston (Booked.Up.With.Emily) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was this book cringey? Absolutely, but that is exactly the point. You know this going in, so it isn't a weird cringe.

Daisy did this unconventional relationship so well that I was actually believing they were a real human throuple.

Chip, Leche, and Herb have the funniest relationship, but it seriously just works. Don't ask me how IT JUST DOES PEOPLE.

I had so many what the heck is going on moments - my favorite is when Chip says "Is it...". I was outwardly dying of laughter because come on Chip LOL.

Looking forward to reading more in the DNF series.

[Michellelovesreading · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was interesting but intended for you to DNF and i finished it can you ?

[Tilly · Rating 2 out of 5]

wtf I'm in shock what on earth have I just read ✋️

a hoover why just why like I thought she was weird but no they both are I'm speechless

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

It gets 4 stars because it promised to be absolutely unhinged and ridiculous and it delivered on that. I had a fun time reading this !

[Joelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one won it was the most cringey I have ever read

[Laura Burch · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 DNF Stars bc wow. In the 87 pages, I probably said “what the fuck?” 167 times.
Idk what I just read…
Like, WHAT THE FUCK?
She loves a vacuum. THERE IS A VACUUM HOSPITAL.
This whole thing was so fucked up and I didn’t want to read it 🫣🫣
Bravo. Fabulous job on the cringy content. You fucking win

[Sarah]

if i could rate this a 0 star I would. this one i came super close to DNFing

[Rozanna's fantasy romance & smut corner · Rating 3 out of 5]

dnf challenge accepted!

and omg it is cringe indeed..

where bouncy was semi in the realm of kinks I could fathom, milky was not!

and the one I thought would be the hardest to not dnf..

chip was such a comical sweet nerd, who wears a fedora sonic the hedgehog original 1991 t and overalls + heely's..
leche her horny quirky self who wears a wedding gown to her first date.. collects colonial dolls
but the wet dry vacuum Herb part had me flummoxed.. like wtf..

also lactation kink is a whole new rabbit hole that doenst do it for me, but I'm kinda exited to learn that there is so much wierd stuff I don't know yet. + its fun to learn about new things.

but man I snorted so hard like these 2 nerdy peeps trash talking a vacuum

"Power up bitch it's go time !"
or "thats right Herb, take us both like the whore-vac you are"

a think I truly proofed I'm a wacko by finishing this one.. I know I love debauchery but cringe fests is a whole new low.. I read because 2 people kissing on TV already makes me uncomfortabl, giddy & shy, but the stuf I read is getting wierder.

that said big confrontations and to dark subjects I still can't handle
alabaster Penitentiary 1 is still waiting for me to gather my courage and finsch it..

[Ciru · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was some cringe in this, but I was basically laughing through it. It's a mix of a Leslie Nielsen movie+Scary Movie 1.

I kinda feel like the guy that sticks his dick in his gas tank because he thinks he’s in a loving relationship with his sports car.

Daisy Jane, did you watch My Strange Addiction? You should have watch the 2024 episodes to find out what happened to the car 😁😂.

We’ve known each other less than eleven thousand words– I mean, two days– and I need to get a ring on her finger.

I got the DNF book store bingo card. Don't remember much about book 1 but I've definitely crossed off some boxes with book 2.

So, read this if you want lactophilia comedy.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hahahahhaa, I can never look at our Henry vacuum the same ever again, especially the sound of ribbed tubing scraping against things.

This was so hilarious and cringe just like advertised and so much more. The heroine and the vacuum hero were everything the hero#2 wanted but didn't know he needed. They bonded together through their mutual kink and came out as a throuple. Love story for the ages, there's someone and something for everyone.

Thanks to Daisy Jane for the review copy and this is my honest review.

[thebeespot72 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me preface that I knew what I was getting into before I started reading Daisy Jane’s “Milky” story in the DNF series—all intentionally cringy themes. Could I handle it? It sounded like a dare, and of course, I was curious.

I survived, and yes, it was a fun read and, I’m sure, fun to write. It was certainly creative. The short story is about an FMC named Leche and her love interest, Herb, who is a vacuum. They find a third person, Chip, to bring in their activities. And Chip has his shmilky shminks, so he’s full-on into it. Yes, it’s cringy, but it’s supposed to be, and I enjoyed it.

[Arianna ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ / 5⭐️

This is the funniest book I’ve read in awhile! The disclaimer at the beginning says the entire series is meant to be extremely cringey & I can absolutely say that Daisy Jane knocked that goal out of the park!

I may or may not have had to google what a pedicel of an orange was & I’m genuinely curious to know what Chip was gonna do with his oranges. 👀 Did he ever get them out of his car??

This book really went in on the idea that there’s someone out there for everyone. All kinks included 🥛

Thank you Daisy for sending me an early copy!

[Kathryn Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so cringy in the best possible way!

Just when I thought it couldn’t get “worse” she wore THAT on her first date with these guys?!

I loved this. It kept me laughing and questioning my sanity for all 83 pages.

I will never be making eye contact with my husband’s shop vac ever ever again. 🫣😅

We can all only hope we fall in love with a stranger with the same kink as you and manage to fall in love in “less than eleven thousand words– I mean, two days”😂

Read at your own risk.

5🍼🥛/5

[Brittni Shafer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you DNF this book, we can't be friends. This had elements of all of my favorite tropes and has easily became one of my favorite reads of the year. I was giggling from pure joy and happiness for this throuple. This was so so funny, so so sweet, so so spicy and such a good story. If you love inside jokes, you're guna love this because the humor is top notch 👌 I don't want to give spoilers so I'll leave it there!

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

What the fuck did I just read HAHAHAHHAH this book had me laughing my ass off. Make sure you read the beginning because it’s meant to be cringey as fuck and boyyyy did Daisy deliver 🤣

If you are weird as fuck, you might as well hope your partner can match you. Leche & Chip are perfect for each other. Don’t forget about Herb thooooo the vacuum that’s their third 🫶🫶

Fave line: “That’s right Herb, take us both like the whore-vac you are,”

[LENA · Rating 1 out of 5]

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ!!!!!
I'll be honest, but the spicy chapters were MILD.
I've read so much worse stuff.
People said the cringe part of these books would be writers word choices, but this book wasn't that cringey to me, it was more weird. It was just fucking weird that he was all into the idea of doing things with her and a FUCKING VACUUM!!!!!
Anyway, on to the next one


I am NOT recommending, just doing the challenge: 1/12 done!

[coffee.and.smut (Ash) · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC Review
Book: Milky
Author: Daisy Jane
Rating: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Spice: 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️

I need to start out this review saying that this book is supposed to be cringe. And oh boy was it.

What made me cringe the most was that this was an MFV. The V is for vacuum. You read that correctly.

If you like a quick cringy read, go ahead and try this one. I really did enjoy Leche, Herb, and Chip!