✰ 2.5 stars ✰
“If we wait until everything’s perfect, it may never happen. We might as well just run.”
I wish I could say that I felt that emotional tug at the heart for what Sage had to go through with not only her mother, but her grandparents, as well. But, honestly, I couldn't. For a thirteen-year-old, she was really pretentious, and quite frankly, rather rude and self-involved. I get that she has the right to be judgmental and dismissive of said grandparents who have ignored her existence her entire life, but the way she went about it was just so unflattering and rude that I could not bring myself to sympathize with her. 😒 Even the disobedience she showed against her father at the start - she, somehow, forgave herself for her transgression by making his disappointment about her decision - about herself! 🤦🏻♀️
Maybe it was the author's intention to show that she was making mistakes to be quick to make rash decisions and make opinions without really knowing them. but the way that it was mentioned - so deliberately, with that 'wait, what?'. I can't imagine it possible to be so narrow-minded the way she was portrayed. At times, even when she was only thinking about herself, when she even saw it from another person's eyes - like her father or her grandmother, it was always in the context of something in her favor. If that makes sense. 🙄 That did not sit well with me. I found her very disagreeable. I understand that she has also witnessed a traumatic moment and that she is still harboring some of her own dark thoughts over her mother, but it was just very difficult to convince me otherwise. 🤷🏻♀️
“You’ve heard that saying about how you should never judge anyone unless you’ve been in their shoes? I think it’s important for all of us to think about that here.”
Sage's Grandparents - I kinda sympathized with them; even with their old-fashioned mindset, they did care for their daughter, but simply chose to ignore their granddaughter for their discomfort with who their daughter married. Grandmother Marion's dismissive attitude felt, at times, a bit too caricature-like, but, I wonder whether it was intentional or not to have them at odds with Sage at first meeting, so that she would start to open her eyes and her heart to the good qualities about them. 😥 'How can my grandmother be nonexistent for my entire life until a couple weeks ago and then act all judgy?' I did like her relationship with her Pawpaw, and how he was more forgiving and understanding of Sage's opinions, as well as her decision not to be on a leash while on her visit.
Also, I am truly all about finding yourself and your identity; but, that conversation between Sage and Marla about attraction and crushes; it felt so out-of-place that I was perplexed at how it benefited - well, anything. I did like Alejandro. I liked his matter-of-fact personality and how he was such a helpful friend to her - never afraid to voice his thoughts without fear - 'you’re judging strangers without hearing their side.'. Marla, too, was a new friend who offered her own opinion and advice as someone not familiar with Sage's family history, which helped her try and see it in a different perspective, too.
“I thought I could fix everything. That I could just meet them and talk to them about everything, and they’d finally all be able to make up.”
I did like the memories of running with her mother; it was a nice reflection of how it taught her to take things slowly in life - that life is not a race and she will get there when she gets there 'I know that now, and it’s okay. I’m learning to run along with them.' As much as her behavior bothered me, it was nice to see that through her visit to her grandparents in Ohio and revisiting the places that her mother grew up, as well as the memories she shared with her father, was something that brought her closer to them. 🥺 Sylvester was a welcome inclusion to her life, and it was nice to see how he helped build the bridges between Sage and her Grandmother.
I do appreciate the message of the story and I am glad that it did leave on an unresolved note, since it would be doubtful that thirteen years of negative feelings could be erased within one week. I also appreciate how middle grade reads are approaching substance abuse and how its adverse effects affect the family. I felt Sage's troubled thoughts on her mother's tumultuous behavior to her drug dependency was believable, as well as her longing for the mother that she once was. Her guilt over the events that led to her troubles was heartbreaking and something that I could relate to. But, so many unpleasant emotions of my own radiated while reading that Sage's story that did not hit me as hard as it could have. 😔
*Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.