Who Wants Normal?: The Disabled Girl's Guide to Life

by Frances Ryan

'We all need this book' Jameela Jamil

‘A razor sharp manifesto by one of Britain's most vital voices’ Yomi Adegoke

'Exceptional' British Vogue

A groundbreaking memoir about what it means to be a disabled woman in Britain today from the acclaimed journalist and author, including insights and personal stories from over 50 contributors

'No one really talks about it. No one really talks about what it is to be a disabled woman, especially a young one. To go a bit mad. To experience pain or exhaustion or feel 92. To navigate all the standard parts of life - exams, careers, dating - but with a body that is different than everyone else’s.'

Part memoir, part manifesto, and full of Frances Ryan’s trademark warmth, humour and honesty (as well as hard-hitting statistics), Who Wants Normal? explores six facets of education, careers, body image, health, relationships and representation, as well as how to survive life's bumps in the road.

It draws on Frances’s own experience, as well as from highly personal interviews with over 50 of Britain's best known women and non-binary people with mental and physical health conditions, including Jameela Jamil, Ruth Madeley, Sophie Morgan, Rosie Jones, Fearne Cotton, Emma Barnett, Tanni Grey-Thompson, Marsha de Cordova MP, Ellie Goldstein and Katie Piper.

Who Wants Normal? lifts the lid off a subject that is too often shrouded in stereotypes and silence. It offers support, inspiration and a sense of solidarity to the 1 in 4 women with long-term health conditions – and will open the eyes of anyone wanting to better understand what life is really like with a disability.

'Beautiful, vital and important. I loved it' Jack Thorne

'I've never related to a book more. Disabled or not, you MUST read this' Rosie Jones

'Supercharged relevance [full of] robust analysis and wry humour… readers will find here stories to inspire, enrage and encourage' Observer

Genres: Nonfiction, Disability, Audiobook, Feminism, Memoir, Disability Studies, Self Help

361 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 17, 2025

Reviews

[Pippa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir-meets-manifesto is the book the world needs right now. Featuring contributions from over fifty iconic disabled women and and non-binary people (I'm very honoured to be one of them!), I think it strikes the perfect balance between relatable wit and humour about the disabled experience and hard-hitting truths and statistics that demonstrate how much further we have to go to achieve equality. An essential read for both disabled and non-disabled individuals. 

[Emily B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read a lot of books about disability and this has to be one of the best and most accessible.

[liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't actually finish this because as a wheelchair-user myself, I didn't like to be reminded of the anxiety of disability that I could be feeling. I found the chapter about school interesting, because I was never disabled at school, but As soon as I hit the university chapter I was like nope, been there done that (I even bought a t-shirt lol). I skipped ahead to the relationships chapter but again I was like, I don't need this anxiety. This is kind of why I prefer lit aimed at children, it's way more upbeat. Not that this book isn't upbeat, it's proudly defiant and I think that is great and this book is much needed. It's a case of me not personally liking the book but absolutely thinking it should exist and many will like it. Woo for books about disabled women! But I also don't want spoilers about what life will bring :')

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was an excellent book and I think everyone should read it. If you have a disability or identify as being disabled then this book shows you there is a community of women out there who understand and have your back. If you don’t have a disability then you should read this book as it’s eye opening and will help you to understand what people with disabilities experience every day.

I learned so much reading this book, although as a disabled person I know we face stigma and discrimination but this book really hit home just how much of this women and non-binary people with disabilities are still experiencing everyday.

I loved the numbers and stats throughout. I liked how the book was split into themes. I loved that different celebrities were used as examples throughout with a wide range of disabilities to help show different examples and represent people with different conditions. Above all, I loved that there were examples in the book of people with the same condition that I have.

Please read this book 👍

[Chloe Mercadal · Rating 4 out of 5]

mmmm statistics boooo discrimination

[Jill Rattray · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounding up to 4

I think this book is well written and I think it had some great contributions, and is a great book for disabled women in England.

I do mean England, much of the advice is England specific or isn’t the best advice for the other uk nations. And the contributions from women from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland were minimal.

I also thought the section on political representation was poor, it was about Westminster and nothing more. Even in England that’s an incredibly narrows scope, political representation happens in local councils, trade unions and all manner of other organisations. Also, including the parliaments in Edinburgh, Cardiff and Belfast would’ve been a good idea.

A decent effort but could’ve been better.

[Wardah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Frances Ryan

[Grace Bain · Rating 5 out of 5]

How nice it is to feel seen!!!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

"-the potential that I knew sat in me, if only my body would set it free".

I've lived with disabilities myself since the age of 14. Since then I've not come across books about what it's like to live in a body that seems to fight against you. It seems we have to rise up and make ourselves seen and ,most importantly, seen as an equal. This book was like looking into the mirror at myself. Not only from all of the shared experiences written by other women but also seeing my own disability, M.E, written about which is a rare sighting.

I really liked how the book was split into different chapters of life including: School, University and Careers. From first getting Ill in school myself I know how hard it is to not be understood and having to advocate for my basic needs. I was never well enough to get my university experience and I'm still working on the career part! Although saying that, I found it very interesting learning about how shocking the statistics are in all areas. I really hope many people pick up this book and we have some positive change. We have a long way to go.

I felt extremely understood in this book. So many have grieved for the life we thought we would have but also It made me really empowered too. We are all women who have disabilities and we are strong, brave and determined to keep going each day.

I'd like to thank Frances Ryan for writing this book. I've never felt so seen before and I've also learnt about many more disabilities that I hadn't known much about prior. I hope this book informs people and changes people's attitudes. This book definitely shows how important and special disabled women are and how our incredible selves should be represented all over the world.

[Mimsy James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that everyone needs to read. If you are a disabled woman, it will help you to see that your body is wonderful, even if you’re wearing smelly pyjamas, eating biscuits for dinner (again) and generally not feeling very wonderful. If you are not a disabled woman, it will give you much needed insight into some of the things the disabled women in your life experience. And trust me, there are disabled women in your life. You might not always see us, but we are here. Ryan’s brilliant writing is supported by the extensive interviews she conducted with other disabled women. If you’re still reading this review, stop and go get yourself a copy. You won’t regret it!!!

[Siobhan Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm honestly surprised by how few reviews this book has! It was a really interesting and fun read. I loved the variety of voices that were included and how real and honest everything felt. Ryan curated a great list of stories and I was really amazed by some of the voices included. I'd never considered things like the challenges a disabled parliamentarian may face, and while obviously that comes from a place of privilege for me, I'm grateful to have learned more on the topic of disability and the realistic challenges people are facing.

[Han · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75 ⭐️ - this was the hug in a book a needed. As a recently disabled woman myself, it was the first time I’d really read about a collective of disabled women and the struggles I have been going through seen there too. I feel less alone now, more understood and positive in who I am.

Everyone should read this book, regardless of whether you have a disability or not. In fact, if you don’t you should read the book even more to see what our daily struggles are like.

Highly recommend.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone without a disability, this book is so enlightening and important. The author uses the experience of many other women to showcase the broader community, so it’s not just based on one woman’s experience (I listened to the audiobook and found it a little hard to follow who she was talking about, though).

[Daryl Lang · Rating 4 out of 5]

a comprehensive review of how ableism and sexism and other identities merge together. this book is a combination of genres, from disability manifesto to memoir, etc. is worth reading for anyone who wishes to better understand the female disabled experience. I have many things to think about and will probably return to this book

[M.J · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a great guide for young disabled women and non binary folks. Really clarified that the feelings and experiences I've gone through as a disabled woman are 100% true, real, and I'm not alone. A must-read!

[Alexandre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know I am not the target demographic for this book (that would be, disabled girls and young women and feminine folks) but I am happy it exists, and I think it would have been really helpful for me to listen to it ~15 years ago.

[Chloe Tear · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible book!! Yes, the stats are hard hitting, but in a way that’s validating. I wish this was compulsory reading for non-disabled people!

[Monty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Binged this book and loved it all!

[Sheila]

Deserves more reads

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

The stats are sad (as always), the messages from so many people are very hopeful!

[LibraryKath]

DNF - not aimed at me, more for young women.

[Colin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author deals very well with the challenges that people with a disability face all. It makes you realise how little empathy there is

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Leo · Rating 4 out of 5]

must read book for anyone, only 4 stars because of the sentence „xy can related to this issue..“ it was a bit to often for my taste but bravo!

[Max · Rating 3 out of 5]

Conflicted on this one. An excellent, eye-opening read for those who are not disabled I am sure, but for me it was just exhausting and a bit depressing - all problems no solutions

[Morrison · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF really frustrating read. the whole book comes across as a pity party for the author. Full of contradictions left right and centre. "Disabled females aren't represented. However, here are a few doing great", "Theres not support for disabled people, yet this is available." "Im so marginalised, where is my representation."

It's painful. I speak as someone who was classed as disabled and have lived with disabled relatives. I've been through these situations. My God it wasn't as entitled as the author.

She also points to Selena Gomez mental health issues as a disability. if we were going down thay road, then my lived experience is perfectly valid.

The author insists the government *should* do more. I disagree. The author thinks she can live a normal life if only the government stepped in to help. That will never be the case.

*Can* the government do more? For sure. The outright automatic entitlement is beggars belief.