How to Speak Life to Your Husband: When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him

by Ann Wilson, Dave Wilson (primary_contributor)

Discover the marriage you've always hoped for. With practical tools to help you communicate more effectively, you'll learn to speak the language of love and grace that will encourage and strengthen your husband at every turn.

Ann Wilson spent more than a decade longing for a better marriage and for her husband to be more attentive, more involved, more helpful, and just all-around better. And every chance she got, she told him so. Where she thought she was being helpful, she was instead badgering him with constant critiques until all he heard was, "Boo! Boo!" when they were together. It almost broke their marriage. But Ann discovered the power that God has given wives.

No matter how long you've been married, you don't need to spend another minute hoping and wishing for things to be different. They can! And the power is in your hands.

In this motivating, honest new book, Ann--marriage coach and bestselling author with her husband, Dave--shares how she breathed new life into her marriage by stewarding one of the most powerful gifts believers inherit from the encouragement. God has given wives a superpower to influence their husbands and homes, and you can use that power to build up and encourage your man to be a better husband, father, and man of God while still speaking truth to him. Relatable, encouraging, biblical, and funny, Ann shares stories from her own life, as well as valuable insights from Scripture, to help

Address the ways you process and justify your communication patternsSeek spiritual and relational (re)alignment with both your husband and GodLearn to exercise self-control and demonstrate radical grace in conversations with your husbandBegin to cheer more than boo--in a way that isn't put on, fake, or inauthenticLearn to speak truth in a way your husband can really hear youAnd, ultimately, cultivate a grace-based marriage that thrives 

Real people in real relationships have real problems, but with God's help, you can heal and sustain your marriage for a lifetime.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Christian, Christian Living, Adult

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 13, 2025

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Hope Grinnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard Ann Wilson on The Deep Dish podcast and knew I wanted to read her book instantly. I loved her honesty, vulnerability and encouragement. Our words are powerful and I want to use mine to give life!

[Erin Montgomery · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is solid, practical, and was a great refresher to read 17 years into marriage! This couple writes with humor, honesty, experience, and encouragement from God’s Word.

[Janelle Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book to anyone married. I will try to reread this every year. Such great wisdom and illustrations of how to cherish your husband instead of work against him. So glad I read it.

[Madison Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so edifying, and likely a resource that I will revisit and use for years to come. Highly recommend!!

[Keshia Swaim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ouch. I wish I had read this book 10-15 years ago. Ann's internal monologue sounds quite a bit like my own. I love the thoughtful, bible-based advice she gives, and the emotional journey she is willing to share. As is stated throughout the book, this is not the resource for someone in a dangerous situation. But, for those of us who are trying to "make our husbands better" and having it blow up on us, this is a must read.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 stars.

I like the concept of the book. I found the book to be really easy to listen too. Both Ann and Dave are easy to listen to as well as engaging. The general theme is to just pray to God for your husband and yourself. There were some good tibits in here, overall Ann didn't really tell me now she changed or what changed in her. It was a lot of, give it to God and change my mindset, which I get, but as someone not super religious I just found this to be expecting the women to do all the work. Maybe that really does work, but so far 16 years later I haven't found this to work. Maybe after the thick of parenting it will change, but not sure.

[Christine Mills · Rating 3 out of 5]

🎧4 🎧Ann did an excellent job narrating. I’m
Going to be honest and say I really didn’t need Dave’s final input to bookend the chapters. Maybe if he just tied it up at the end? His voice narrating was okay, but I really enjoyed Ann’s performance and you could just feel her emotions.

⭐3.5⭐ Quick and helpful read. I love that Ann was vulnerable in her hardest moments of marriage and at times parenting. There were some really good pieces of advice that I’m going to try to implement in my marriage. Though the novel isn’t sharing groundbreaking information, it centers you back to Jesus and gently reminds you to see your spouse and others the way He does.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been married for 25 years. A lot of the ideas in this book are not new to me. The power of words to build up or tear down. That not every unhappy thought should be spoken. Focusing on the positives about our spouse and changing our negative thought patterns. Seeing how our expectations and baggage we brought into marriage affect our contentment. Speaking the truth in love at the right time in the right way. But they were good reminders to hear laid out in a systematic way with Bible verses and examples. I would have greatly benefited from this book in my early marriage and still benefited from it today.

[Haley Mnatzaganian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastic. Reading it felt like having coffee with a trusted friend rather than being spoken down to by a seemingly perfect theologian. Ann continually points the reader to God rather than her own imperfect wisdom. This book is full of plenty of application with the theology to back it up.

[Kari Siders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every married woman should read this book! This book gave me a better way to not only view my husband, but how my actions, words, and thoughts were being perceived by him. It has fundamentally changed how I understand I need to view and act towards my husband. I believe the ideas presented here will improve our marriage not just now, but forever.

[Erica Layman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book but it was a lot of repeating the same message with a different Bible verse. Even though she says she is not submitting to her husband, in a way, she absolutely is. Instead of not losing her mind and downing him, instead of having a conversation with him, she felt the need to compliment him to stroke his ego to get him to behave better.

[Gracia Roulan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a better read than I thought it would be. The title made me laugh. So I just thought I'd check it out. But she Ann Wilson has some great points, illustration and wisdom to offer those of us who find ourselves frustrated as a wife and mom.

[Donna Mork · Rating 4 out of 5]

Discusses how to communicate with your spouse without it sounding like belittling or disrespect. How speaking encouraging words not only helps them grow but can be used to guide them to improve in their weaker areas. Gives practical ways to do this in your own marriage.

[Jamie Rocket · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are definitely some good points In here
Although some of it just got repetitive

[Megan DeMass · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would recommend to any woman really, a lot of these principles apply to how we talk to anyone, our spouse or children or friends.

[Katie Townsend · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing read! highly recommend!
taken so much away from this book.

[Melissa Stoker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audio book. Had some good ideas to think about and apply when communicating with your husband or anyone you truly care about.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! What an inspiring book on how not only to speak life to your husband but also to everyone around you. I may have to buy this book to reread once or twice a year!

[Megan Paparatti · Rating 5 out of 5]

I relate to this book so much that it's as if it was written about me. Help me, Lord, to impart the things I have learned from this book into my marriage that it may be forever changed by You!

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read if you're married or engaged. I wish I had this book a decade ago.