Desperate Woman Seeks Friends: Real Talk About Connection, Rejection, and Trying Again for the Friendships You Need

by Kristen Strong

If you’ve ever been tempted to put a sign in your front yard advertising for new friends, scream or sob in frustration over a "friend's" hot and cold behavior, or cringe at the memory of awkward friendship encounters, you can trust Kristen Strong’s decades of experience at constantly relocating and remaking friends to provide both solid hope and practical direction to try again to find the friends you need.

In Desperate Woman Seeks Friends, Kristen Strong offers her two decades of experience as a constantly relocating military spouse and one decade as a settled civilian to address head on the crisis facing women today in startling an acute loneliness and isolation due to a lack of friends and community. 

Often, social media will give you a band-aid to your loneliness, but looking to social media to be your only source of friendship is like relying on breadcrumbs as a steady diet for it won’t nourish or satisfy. Unless some of those online connections turn into real life ones, they’re no substitute for in-person friendships.

In fact, research shows friends are just as important for our overall welfare as healthy eating habits and getting a good night’s sleep. Kristen gives you a game plan for getting your friendship groove back. Chapters

Don’t discount the fertilizer seasonsGet cozy and comfortable with awkwardBoundaries are our friends and our friends’ friendsWhat you can expect will kill friendshipsKeeping the faith when your community landscape changes for the worseI love my friend to pieces, but I don't like her ____________ (i.e. Politics, Parenting Style, Husband, etc.)When a friendship ends without your say-soRejection sucks, but don't let it suck you down to a bad placeMaking friends by opening upMaking friends by praying up The friend who never fails in friendshipsIt’s not just you. Making friends is hard! But it doesn’t have to be impossible. As a longtime military wife who repeatedly learned to create her own community from the ground up, Kristen Strong wants to help you recover from rejection and find your people.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook

240 pages, Paperback

Published May 13, 2025

Reviews

[Jesse · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was not prepared for the amount of Christianity about to hit me in the face. She quotes the Bible often, invokes Jesus often, and blames the devil for adolescent social anxiety, among other things. Yes, Satan himself decided to target a child at the movies via her own brain. 🤨🙄

Based on the cover, description, and categories listed, there was NO warning. It’s fine she’s deep in her faith. It’s not to be ambushed by it. Lost of people have religious trauma. Her glorious god is used to do a lot of heinous things.

If I spent money on this, I’d be mad as hell. (Pun intended.) Any insightful or helpful things Strong said was outweighed by the constant ‘surprise Jesus’ factor.

I quit at 40%. At this point, her general advice was a mix of ‘thanks Captain Obvious’ and ‘decent point.’ There are other books on this topic that won’t lie and sneak religion on you. I’d recommend checking out one of those.

[Cindi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to the author, narrator, publisher and Net Galley for providing a free e-audio version of this title in exchange for my review.

I think this book could be helpful to the right audience. I'm not the right audience. The cover and the description I read did not reflect the amount of Christianity in this book. Bible quotes, devil blaming, invocation of Jesus and more. Be warned! This really is a Christian leaning book! As a person who deals with religious trauma, I'm careful to avoid such books.

As I said, I'm not the audience for this book. I didn't leave this book with any good information.

2 stars for me - recommended to those looking for Christian advice.

[Edie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beth Moore meets Erma Bombeck.

This is a fantastic book about friendship for people with a particular worldview. At the beginning of the book, the author indicates that while she will mention Jesus, it isn't just for people who share her faith tradition. Had Kristen Strong simply owned up to the fact that Desperate Woman Seeks Friends is written by and for a particular audience, I would have given the book five stars. I happen to think many of the best books are written for narrow audiences. That specificity allows the author to go deep and the rest of us can pick and choose what we want to take. I am adjacent enough to Strong's audience to appreciate how helpful and encouraging this book will be for the right readers. Unfortunately, the rest of us are left feeling blindsided. Like the time a cute boy invited me to lunch only to hit me with an Amway sales pitch.

Personally, due to a difference in theology, I find some of the things in this book to be harmful. But those same things will be comforting to readers who share Strong's faith. I enjoyed reading the book. I laughed and cringed and nodded along in recognition. Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the audioARC.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't know what to expect with this book. I received this as an Advanced Reader Copy audiobook. Kristen narrates the story really well.

I am of the generation (born in 1989) that played outside and spent time with our friends constantly. The internet wasn't a huge thing to most of us kids until we were well into our teens. My mom was friends with my friends' moms. She made friends through church, volunteering, and other in person ways. Play dates weren't scheduled. You played with whoever was available. Because of this, I struggle A LOT making other female friends (well, friends in general.)

I am a mom similar to my own mom. You want to play with someone? Go ring their door bell. Your friend wants to come over? Awesome, just make sure their parents know. When parents drop their kids off and ask when they should pick them up, they seem thrown off by me saying, "whenever works for yall, we are here all day." Everything is so planned out that it's really hard to just go with the flow and make friends.

I'm younger than most of the parents of my teen daughter's friends (because I had her so young) which makes connecting with them harder than I expected. I'm also awkward and because of that every single interaction I have with another parent has me thinking, "why did I say that? Do they hate me? I must be annoying."

Kristen covers all of this in this book. She covers us struggling to connect, feeling like we aren't good enough to be someone's friend, and the struggle of setting boundaries. She covers when others aren't being a good friend or even when we aren't being a good friend.

I've read other reviews that complain about her being heavy on the bible, but I don't think that's a truly fair assessment. She tells you at the beginning that she is a christian and that she tries to live in the word, but I really think most people, Christian or not, would get something from her book.

[Molly Chupik · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given an early copy of this book for my honest review.

I almost missed this book since the thought of reading “another book on friendship” felt unnecessary. The author offered an early copy with access to an online 4 week book club discussing the book. That offer drew me in since interaction is more alluring than information.

I was pleasantly surprised how much I loved this book. From my perspective, the author poured her life experiences (most of them hard, awkward ones) into her words. I learn best listening to others talk about their lives. Her real life stories made the biggest impact for me.

In most every chapter she offers a few suggestions how to work towards that chapters topic. She didn’t leave me hanging. Stories, statistics and information are great. But also please tell me HOW to follow through. Her suggestions are realistic, gentle and lessons that I can tell she learned the hard way.

My favorite thing about this book is it got me thinking deeper about friendships overall. Since reading I’ve noticed I’m more willing to look for my own blind spots, how have I offended others. I can see clearer how hard seasons of friendship made way for better ones in my future. I’ve also found myself having more confidence to reach out and get together with the friends i already have.

I plan to read the book again, a bit slower, focusing on some of those deeper thoughts I had the first time reading.

This book will not be for everyone. And that’s ok. But it will be for someone. It was for me. I’m grateful the author took the time to pour herself into Desperate Woman Seeks Friends.

If you need encouragement with friendship. Want to be challenged or think a little deeper. Give this book a try. You might be surprised too.

[Micky Cox · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the perfect book for a Sunday School Class to read together at church or a woman's bible study group. The author needs to stand up and own what she wrote and be loud and proud about it. I'm rating this a 3 simply because the author wasn't authentic about what her book is and is not. It is not a book about how to find friends, it is a book about being a better friend and person while also praising Jesus and studying bible verses. The author went so far as to say in her intro that while she is strong in her beliefs and faith, she wrote the book for anyone to read and enjoy. Um, no. This book is heavy on bible quotes, faith in the lord and religion which is great, just own it. The authors personal stories were engaging and entertaining, but again more about being a better person or friend rather than "how to find a friend." This book title and description were especially compelling to me as I am at that age where life is changing and friends are moving or passing away so I need to broaden my friend circle. Many of my close friends are retiring and moving to their preferred retirement destination which makes for fun trips and vacations to go see these friends, but can make the daily grind a bit lonelier here at home. The only chapter that even gave suggestions on where to go or how to go about expanding a person's friend circle was Chapter 19 and it was just a little snippet of the chapter. If you are a devout person then this book will appeal greatly. However, if you are not a devout religious person then this book won't be as compelling to you. The audiobook was especially well done as the author narrated her own book so you really felt her voice come through her words even more strongly.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ (rounding up for goodreads)

This ARC was given to me by Thomas Nelson in exchange for an honest review - thank you! #ad #sponsored

I enjoyed the author’s conversational tone throughout the book and she is quite funny; however, it did seem a bit disorganized. I felt that the personal anecdotes were told one after another rather haphazardly. I appreciated that the author did try to point to scripture in each chapter. I felt the book was somewhat disjointed, like she took a bunch of her stories and squished them together to make a book - I guess I would just have like more of a road map.

As someone who has struggled with friendships as an adult, I didn’t really find any useful/meaningful help in improving my relationships but the stories and experiences were very relatable if anything.

I will also say I probably don’t have the same theological views of the author (i.e. mentions the enneagram, quotes Brené Brown and champions Beth Moore, etc. I’m sure there are more but these stood out to me as I don’t run in that particular crowd) but I’m not including that in the star rating more as a heads up if you have the same convictions as I do about these particular topics and people.

[Chantal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Desperate Woman Seeks Friends is a book where the author, Kristen Strong, shares how she made friends and what she has learned from it. She is a military wife and had to relocate multiple times over the years. With every relocation she had to make new local friends. Kristen shares her experiences with making new friends and she shares tips on how to make new friends.

This book mentioned a lot of christianity topics and has a lot of christian themes in it. From the text on the back of the book and from the cover of the book it sounds like a book about making friends. The author of the book said that this book was for everyone but I think it is relatable and mostly written for a christian audience. I would have loved it if this was written on the cover or on the back so you know what kind of book you’re going to be reading.
I would definitely recommend this book to a christian audience. If you are not christian you can still read this book but I think you will get less from it.
I read this book as an audiobook and I really liked the production. I liked the fact that the author read her own book. She has a very nice voice and accent.

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

⭐️: 3,4

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has moved several times as a child (military father) and then as an adult (husband chasing the next best job), I could so relate to Kristen's struggles. I greatly appreciated her humor and insight alongside the real examples, both good and bad, of making and keeping friends.

I was blessed to receive an audiobook ARC of the title. Nan McNamara did an amazing job as narrator, making it feel like we were talking over coffee.

The biggest takeaway for me was how easy it is fail being a good friend to ourselves.

I can see this being a great book club selection as there is so much to unpack. Did I agree with her particular view of a Christian life? No. I can extrapolate and use everything as a launching pad to make changes in my life.


Thank you to NetGalley, HCCP & HCF Audio | W Publishing for the advanced audiobook copy. All opinions are my own.

[Lacepaperlife · Rating 3 out of 5]

Relatable, honest, and often funny, this one felt like chatting with a friend over coffee — the kind of friend who maybe rambles a little and doesn’t quite stick to the point. I appreciated the author’s heart and her attempt to tie in scripture throughout, but the book lacked structure and felt more like a collection of personal stories than a cohesive guide to friendship. There were a few moments that resonated, especially around the loneliness of adult friendships, but I didn’t walk away with anything super practical or new. Still, it’s an easy, conversational read if you’re looking for something that leans more encouragement than advice.

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 3.5 stars
Rated PG for faith-based content, light discussion of emotional struggles, and casual mentions of pop theology.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked reading this book because the authors makes it entertaining to read about a maybe not so entertaining subject. Especially now in the world, loneliness is a real issue but the authors makes made the topic light and funny instead of heavy and serious. The author does use versus from the Bible and teachings from the Bible to relate to her chapters, but she mentions in the introduction that those ares are easy to skip and are not needed to fully enjoy the book. I liked how she provides her own experiences, even though they might have been awkward moments in her life. While the book talks about how to make friends, she also goes into depth about how personally you need to look at yourself to see why it might be harder to make friends.

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Desperate Woman Seeks Friends by Kristen Strong is a go-to book on relationships that fuel friendships.

Wow. This book was so spot on. So many of us struggle to make friends as adults. But Kristen's approach speaks truth and vulnerability. With many relatable stories, her advice on cultivating friendships is encouraging and challenging. We as women have all had disappointments in this area. Kristen's truth about friendships reflects how we must first look at ourselves. She shares much about her own experiences, bringing to light different ways to think deeper about friendships. A good book if you want to learn from the lessons she has learned and shared.

Thank you W Publishing and Net Galley for the complementary ecopy. All opinions are my own.

[B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed “Desperate Woman Seeks Friends” and appreciated having the chance to listen to the audiobook. The narrator did a great job capturing the emotions and experiences of the author. I enjoyed getting to hear the author’s story and related a lot to the difficulty of navigating friendships as an adult, especially if you are starting over in a new place. I will note that there are frequent references to religion, which can be accessible to folks who share the same faith or who have knowledge of the faith. For folks who are not as familiar may not access the material as easily.

Disclaimer: I received a free review copy of this book from HCCP & HCF Audio and W Publishing. All thoughts and reviews are honest and my own.

[Rene' Bancroft · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristen has tapped into a much-needed topic: women and friendship! I was intrigued to read her book simply by the title. After living in the same area for the first 53 years, I am a recent transplant to a new state. Stepping out of my comfort zone to make new friends in my fifties is daunting but essential. Kristen weaves her stories of friendships in beautiful and heart-warming ways, with all the grief and joy that comes with them. I would recommend this book to any woman searching for meaningful ways to create and cultivate friendships and heal from past hurts in the area of female friendships.

[Andi Argo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really hate self help books. I feel like the author usually just has one paragraph worth that they try to spread over an entire book. It ends up so repetitive I want to beat my head against the wall by the second chapter. So I was pleasantly surprised that this book was way better. Yes, it sometimes got a little repetitive but maybe because I did the audiobook and she was reading every heading and things we normally would just glance at and see it’s something we have read before. I felt like the accent would come and go and as a southern woman and military brat myself, the accent seemed a little forced.
But the point is it’s actually a pretty decent self help book!

[Cheri Swalwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! I loved it so much that I immediately bought it as a gift and gave it to someone I love who is struggling in this area. I loved the mixture of the author's insights, stories from her life and those of her friends (the vulnerability that comes with that to help others) and the biblical truths from the Bible that she wove effortlessly throughout the entire book. It was a book I couldn't (didn't want to) put down and am still thinking about it days after having read it.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from netgalley and wasn't required to write a review. All opinions are strictly my own.

[Jody Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE this book from the cover all the way to page 239!!
Just looking at the cover picture, and the title makes me smile and even giggle a little.
It is honest, and funny and holds so much truth about friendships. I can't imagine anyone that could not relate to at least several chapters in this book. It offers encouragement for all ages, and sheds light into the reality of how much we need friends. Thank you Kristen Strong for your gift to us in sharing your struggles and victories and helping us in navigating this amazing privilege of having friends.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Awkward turtles have weird babies!” Anyone else’s kids come home from school reciting this Go Noodle phrase? Getting into Kristen’s new book immediately brought this to mind! Making friends is awkward and those friendships can result in weirdness (weird is not bad!). Kristen’s guidelines to not only making new friends, but also maintaining and growing your current friendships is practical and witty and a great reminder to not only give your friends grace, but you need grace as well. Grab this encouraging book and make a date with a friend!

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Best for religious women looking for advice about friendships (starting them, deepening them, and understanding when they end). (Bonus if you're married to someone in the military, and you move a lot.) That being said, there are some good tidbits in here that made me feel more relaxed about my current relationships (i.e. open your home to your friends even if you think it isn't perfect, don't feel guilty about ordering pizza to feed company, and more things like that). Basically, give yourself and others grace.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many of us struggle with making friends as adults, yet most of us are hesitant to speak out about it. Not Kristen. She tackles the issue with truth, vulnerability, humor and wisdom! The stories she shares are totally relatable and the advice she gives is super practical! Just as in her other books, Kristen writes in a way that feels conversational and easy to understand. If you’re struggling to make and keep friends as an adult, this book is for you!

[Cutty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an ARC audiobook from NetGalley. An uplifting book that I would suggest reading, rather than listening to, so that you can dog ear all of the useful advice to go back to in times when encouragement is needed. Useful advice on how to love yourself, love others, and be strong in your faith. Anecdotes are shared, bible references are used to bolster her recommendations, and guidance is given on navigating friendships. Highly recommend.

[Beth Goad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kristen's writing is warm and conversational; she has a lot of experience to draw from as a military spouse moving frequently with many opportunities to make new friends. I appreciated her practical ideas for hosting and making people feel welcome. I really liked her encouragement to not get stuck looking for friends in the same life stage. This is a helpful book for those looking to make new friends, no matter the circumstances.

[Kristy Chown · Rating 4 out of 5]

✨ Mini Review:
Desperate Woman Seeks Friends by Kristen Strong is such a relatable, heartfelt read about how hard (and awkward!) adult friendship can be. Kristen writes with warmth, humor, and total honesty about loneliness, rejection, and trying again. It feels like chatting with a wise, funny friend who gets it. There’s a faith element, but the message about showing up, forgiving, and keeping your heart open is universal. Loved how encouraging and real it felt.

[Andrea Somers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how reading one of Kristen Strong's books makes you feel noticed. She shares her life stories and advice on what a friend should be and the many issues within friendships. I loved the emphasis on being a friend to yourself, to keep trying even when it's hard, and to remember your friendship with Jesus.

[Sherry Bendorf · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars
This is so good. Her faith content is spot on. I enjoyed so many things about this book. She shares stories and experiences of friendships in all aspects of life. This is the first book I've read by this author, and I am looking forward to reading more. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an e-arc of this book.

[Alysa Blum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you, NetGalley for the ARC of this book!

Desperate Woman Seeks Friends is a warm, honest, and practical guide for Christian women who long for deeper, more meaningful friendships. I appreciated Kristen Strong’s transparency and approachable tone throughout the book—especially in the audiobook version, where her voice made it feel like she was speaking directly to me as a trusted friend.

From the start, Kristen is upfront about the lens through which she writes—her Christian faith. She even gives readers a respectful heads-up in the introduction that this book will include Scripture and point to Jesus. I personally loved this. Her faith-based encouragement was one of the most meaningful parts of the book for me, and I found it disheartening to see how some readers seem triggered or upset by this perspective. No one is forced to keep reading, and I wish more people respected the clear intent and audience of a book like this.

While the content may not be revolutionary, it offers gentle, relatable reminders and wise encouragement for women who are trying to build or rebuild friendships in a busy and often isolating world. Kristen’s stories, biblical reflections, and down-to-earth advice make this a valuable read for Christian women in all seasons of life.

Overall, this is a heartfelt and faith-filled read that reminds us we’re not alone in the longing for real connection.

[Pink · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book would have been supremely helpful four years ago. But I'm also the kind of person who only learns after getting run over by the school bus several times, so it's probably better I didn't read it until now.

[Paula Furio · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was not what I thought it would be but that’s my fault for misunderstanding the description. It was entertaining. Not rocket science but certainly a reminder of what it takes to make friends and build friendships. She offered good encouragement and the stores in the book were good. All in all, a pleasant read.

[Kathleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was a little shocked by the Christian flair being shoved down my throat in the opening chapter. I thought, no problem, but after reading a few reviews that felt the same apparently it just gets worse with many wishing they had not finished the book or stopped halfway through. I figured I'd save me self early (no pun intended). Like, why?

[Danica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that I didn’t really know that I needed. It really is like sitting with someone in a coffee shop and learning from the mistakes we’ve made in friendships and from the things we have done well.