[Content warning - bullying and suicide references, depictions of panic attacks]
Shizuku wrote a novel that nobody was supposed to see. But the popular girl in her class, Kaori, found it. And read it. And has suggested that the two of them start pretending to date to give Shizuku ideas for her next book. But Shizuku is ill-equipped for love, it seems, because she’s hellbent on hating herself…
Fake dating is one of those manga tropes that sets my teeth on edge, frankly, because it feels like just an arbitrary gap between actual dating, which the whole enterprise often ends up feeling like anyway. What, precisely, is the point?
Well, I won’t say that this story sells me on the idea, but it certainly shows that you can make it go down a lot smoother if you wrap it up in something interesting. One of the reasons I like manga is that sophomore slump is far less prevalent and this trumps the mangaka’s The Girl I Want Is So Handsome! in a number of ways.
Partly, I love these characters. If the aforementioned first manga series was liable to give you cavities, this one is prepared to just haul off and punch you in the teeth. There is a dark undercurrent to this that I found especially interesting from what seems to be sold as a bit of fluff.
Shizuku’s novel is a measure of atonement and, whatever I was expecting that to be about, it was not what was actually presented in the story. Shizuku is one of those people who has regret for her past, but no ability to let go of it. She’s trapped herself and her happiness and letting those things stop holding her back is currently beyond her.
Kaori turns out to be nearly her equal (if opposite), coming across as a bubbly, popular girl, but there are things going on with her as well. First appearances aren’t at all what they seem and she is much deeper than her personality implies. Plus, there are enough clues that we can guess at even more going on here.
In a very real sense, Shizuku needs Kaori. Now, whether the reverse is true remains to be seen, but there are definitely perks that Kaori is getting from this. She might be a little pushy, but she doesn’t come off too predatory just because she isn’t especially thirsty. She’s just very, very nice. And happens to know where people live.
If you want a change from the usual manga story beats, you’re not going to find it here. They fake date, they even go to the aquarium in the first volume. This is actually up there in terms of aquarium dates, however, as it reveals things about both of our leads and the mangaka is very good at getting across the emotional conflict.
I’m thinking they’ll soften the truth of Shizuku’s situation, but I honestly hope they don’t. She’s much more interesting this way and it’s very intriguing to think of Kaori coming to her rescue from the darkness that she enveloped herself in.
Like I said, it’s a grim book at times. Shizuku is prone to full on panic attacks, very well portrayed, and her actions, at least at present, have a definite unforgivable quality to them that I hope we see addressed. If you want nothing but sunshine and rainbows, I think the mangaka’s original work would be more your speed.
4.5 - I’ll ding it a little because of the lack of originality in places, but I really loved what’s being set up here. Normally I’d leave it at 4 and wait, but I want it to live up to my expectations so badly I’m rounding up.
This is not your typical yuri story and it’s all the better for it.