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Rough Magic: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder
A harrowing but ultimately uplifting literary memoir about living with borderline personality disorder—the most stigmatized diagnosis in mental health.
“I didn’t know whether to take you to a psychologist or an exorcist.”
This is how Miranda Newman’s mother described the experience of trying to find an explanation for her daughter’s behaviour. It would be years before Miranda was able to find a diagnosis that explained the complicated way she moved through the world. She would have to advocate for herself in the mental health system while dealing with abuse, homelessness, survival sex, suicide attempts and hospitalizations.
Through it all, Miranda has found strength in her diagnosis. Her recollections are visceral and confessional, but also self-aware, irreverent and funny. She tells readers how she has found strength and joy in what others might see as tragic, while bolstering her personal recollections with deeply researched observations on Canada’s mental healthcare system, and the history of diagnostics and disorder, using research supported by her work at Yale University.
“I didn’t know whether to take you to a psychologist or an exorcist.”
This is how Miranda Newman’s mother described the experience of trying to find an explanation for her daughter’s behaviour. It would be years before Miranda was able to find a diagnosis that explained the complicated way she moved through the world. She would have to advocate for herself in the mental health system while dealing with abuse, homelessness, survival sex, suicide attempts and hospitalizations.
Through it all, Miranda has found strength in her diagnosis. Her recollections are visceral and confessional, but also self-aware, irreverent and funny. She tells readers how she has found strength and joy in what others might see as tragic, while bolstering her personal recollections with deeply researched observations on Canada’s mental healthcare system, and the history of diagnostics and disorder, using research supported by her work at Yale University.
- GenresAudiobook
320 pages, Paperback
Published April 16, 2024
16 people are currently reading
128 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 5, 2024
Absolutely amazing.
December 21, 2024
Raw, honest, brave and complex. Intimate, without being too vulnerable or overwhelming. A wholly welcome and exceedingly necessary window into the experience of living with Borderline Personality Disorder, (BPD), in Canada.
An eerie echo of my own life, with a few details changed, this book resonated with me strongly and I preordered a hardcopy.
~~~
Thanks to NetGalley, Authors and Publishers for access to the digital ARC. All opinions are my own.
An eerie echo of my own life, with a few details changed, this book resonated with me strongly and I preordered a hardcopy.
~~~
Thanks to NetGalley, Authors and Publishers for access to the digital ARC. All opinions are my own.
November 9, 2024
Extremely well written memoir that blends the author's personal story with factual information and some history of the BPD diagnosis. It was a fun read and it was informative at the same time--kudos for blending those two things! Her writing style reminds me of Bill Bryson. Completely different subjects and Ms. Newman is not a comedic writer like Bryson, but I love the way she incorporates studies, facts, history, and some social commentary into her stories. It's like a combo of memoir and science. Newman doesn't shy away from the hard parts of her story and history with the disorder, but writes about it in a tender hearted way that is often lacking from books dealing with BPD. I also like that it is obvious from her memoir that alothough she has struggled with this painful disorder, she lives a fulfilling and successful life. It offers hope to those diagnosed with this stigmatized and misunderstood condition.
On another note, I read a review of one star for this book that says there is no index or citation list and I have to correct that--pages 277-307 is a complete list of works referenced. That's 30 pages of references.
I recommend this book to those with BPD and their loved ones. Not only will readers learn about one woman's experience with the disorder, they will be introduced to a ton of further reading on the subject from a wide variety of sources if they look at the works referenced. I also recommend it because the book is hopeful. BPD is a treatable and manageable diagnosis. People with BPD can live successful and fulfilling lives, and plenty of us do.
On another note, I read a review of one star for this book that says there is no index or citation list and I have to correct that--pages 277-307 is a complete list of works referenced. That's 30 pages of references.
I recommend this book to those with BPD and their loved ones. Not only will readers learn about one woman's experience with the disorder, they will be introduced to a ton of further reading on the subject from a wide variety of sources if they look at the works referenced. I also recommend it because the book is hopeful. BPD is a treatable and manageable diagnosis. People with BPD can live successful and fulfilling lives, and plenty of us do.
April 22, 2024
Wow. Terrible. I was truly excited for this book. I was thrilled to read someone's personal story with a difficult-to-explain disorder. Unfortunately, there is NOTHING engaging, inspiring, warm, or personable about the author. She is wholly unlikeable as a person. Her writing is extremely clunky, undigestible, and hard to follow. I should have quit the book much earlier, but because I had such high hopes to learn someone's experience with this disorder, I pushed through. Mistake.
She cites laughably generic, nothing, nameless sources for her "research". There is no index or citation list to acknowledge the actual names, professionals, studies, books she is referencing. An example:
“My experience aligns with a 2021 review of friendships among adolescents with BPD. The authors found that interpersonal relationships were typically…”
WHAT REVIEW? What study? Who did it? Where? Where can it be referenced or looked up? This is not a 1 or 2 time occurrence. It is repeated constantly through the entire book. I can't say enough about what a failure this book is. I will never read anything by this author again.
She cites laughably generic, nothing, nameless sources for her "research". There is no index or citation list to acknowledge the actual names, professionals, studies, books she is referencing. An example:
“My experience aligns with a 2021 review of friendships among adolescents with BPD. The authors found that interpersonal relationships were typically…”
WHAT REVIEW? What study? Who did it? Where? Where can it be referenced or looked up? This is not a 1 or 2 time occurrence. It is repeated constantly through the entire book. I can't say enough about what a failure this book is. I will never read anything by this author again.
April 6, 2024
Rough Magic: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder by Miranda Newman is an unflinching account of a young woman’s battle with what is perhaps the most stigmatized mental illness in the Western world. Bright, charismatic, and temperamental, Newman gives readers what appears to be an honest look into what her life has been like before, during, and after recovery from borderline personality disorder. Her recollections of the horrific trauma of her early years are difficult to read, and I must warn anyone who also has a mental illness or a traumatic past to be aware of potential triggers. I was struck by how much I learned about borderline personality disorder (BPD) from this book, as Newman took pains to cite reputable sources extensively in teaching readers about the disorder as she tells her own story. Overall, this was a truly unforgettable read which I would recommend to nearly anyone. My thanks to Penguin Random House Canada and to NetGalley. The opinions expressed here are my own.
March 12, 2025
4/5!
It’s so heartening to hear someone share a journey you’ve also been on, mostly alone, for all of your 20s. BPD was such a scary diagnosis to receive at 20, when I was so desperate to get out of my own skin. Miranda’s story brings comfort to me in a way no other book on BPD has. It’s helpful and almost comical that we’ve traversed the same parts of Toronto while we walked back-and-forth from groups and friends home, trying to build a safe little cove for us to exist in while we deal with this disorder. This book is intimate as well as super informative, and if you’ve ever wanted to learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder, it’s a great book to start with.
To end this little ramble, I leave you with my favourite little excerpt from the book:
“It’s interesting you bring that up because George and I talk a lot about the importance of colour in our lives," I said.
"We don't see colour as brightly when we're sad," George explained. "But the whole world shines when everything is fine." ⭐️
It’s so heartening to hear someone share a journey you’ve also been on, mostly alone, for all of your 20s. BPD was such a scary diagnosis to receive at 20, when I was so desperate to get out of my own skin. Miranda’s story brings comfort to me in a way no other book on BPD has. It’s helpful and almost comical that we’ve traversed the same parts of Toronto while we walked back-and-forth from groups and friends home, trying to build a safe little cove for us to exist in while we deal with this disorder. This book is intimate as well as super informative, and if you’ve ever wanted to learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder, it’s a great book to start with.
To end this little ramble, I leave you with my favourite little excerpt from the book:
“It’s interesting you bring that up because George and I talk a lot about the importance of colour in our lives," I said.
"We don't see colour as brightly when we're sad," George explained. "But the whole world shines when everything is fine." ⭐️
June 18, 2024
A well-researched, highly personal, and at times harrowing account of what I now know is a highly misunderstood disorder. The book careens through personal narrative, scientific research, and cultural analysis of the Sopranos, Fatal Attraction, and the Depp/Heard defamation trial. Before getting Miranda’s perspective, my understanding of BPD was something like “really bad personality disorder, akin to narcissism.” The idea that someone might openly identify with the disorder was shocking to me, but it isn’t anymore—Miranda makes a compelling case that BPD might be better conceptualized as a cluster of trauma symptoms, rather than a fixed personality (and a doomed one, if we believe the pop culture hype).
Pick up this book if you want an inside perspective from one of psychiatry’s most vilified disorders, an opinionated take on the modern mental health paradigm, pop cultural redux, and a story that’s moving, surprisingly relatable, and quintessentially Canadian.
Pick up this book if you want an inside perspective from one of psychiatry’s most vilified disorders, an opinionated take on the modern mental health paradigm, pop cultural redux, and a story that’s moving, surprisingly relatable, and quintessentially Canadian.
September 13, 2024
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BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD): THE LEPROSY OF MENTAL ILLNESSES
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"Seldom does an illness, medical or psychiatric, carry such an intense stigma and deep shame that its name is whispered, or a euphemism coined, and its sufferers despised and even feared...
Common...is the agony people with BPD [experience] while trying to get their symptoms treated--the stigma, the uncertainty, the misdiagnoses.
So much of their recovery journey, and mine [the author's], involved educating loved ones and medical professionals about the nature of their [BPD} diagnosis. And learning how to describe symptoms in a way clinicians and laypeople would recognize.
And that's a lot to ask from a person with a debilitating [mental] illness."
The above quote (in italics) comes from this honest and well-written book by Miranda Newman. She is a writer and editor based in Toronto. She lives with BPS, PTSD, major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. Newman was a Fellow at Yale University's program for recovery and community health.
The term "personality disorder" is an umbrella term for a number of psychological disorders.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a personality disorder in which a person chronically lives "on the borderline" between normal, adaptive functioning and real psychic disability.
This book gives readers insight into an often misunderstood mental disorder. Blending her own personal BPD history with a broader cultural history of it, Newman dissects, combats myths, and reveals both the struggles and joys of living with BPD.
This tome also gives us observations on Canada's mental health care system as well as the conclusions of BPD research studies.
Finally, this book's title "Rough Magic" is utterd in a soliloquy by the main character in Act 5 Scene 1 of Shakespeare's fantastical tragicomic romance play "The Tempest" (circa 1611). Note also that "Miranda" (the author's first name) is the daughter of this main character.
In conclusion, this is an honest and raw memoir that will probably stay with you long after you have read it!!
XXXXX
(2024; 11 chapters; main narrative 270 pages; acknowledgements; works referenced)
XXXXX
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD): THE LEPROSY OF MENTAL ILLNESSES
XXXXX
"Seldom does an illness, medical or psychiatric, carry such an intense stigma and deep shame that its name is whispered, or a euphemism coined, and its sufferers despised and even feared...
Common...is the agony people with BPD [experience] while trying to get their symptoms treated--the stigma, the uncertainty, the misdiagnoses.
So much of their recovery journey, and mine [the author's], involved educating loved ones and medical professionals about the nature of their [BPD} diagnosis. And learning how to describe symptoms in a way clinicians and laypeople would recognize.
And that's a lot to ask from a person with a debilitating [mental] illness."
The above quote (in italics) comes from this honest and well-written book by Miranda Newman. She is a writer and editor based in Toronto. She lives with BPS, PTSD, major depressive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. Newman was a Fellow at Yale University's program for recovery and community health.
The term "personality disorder" is an umbrella term for a number of psychological disorders.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a personality disorder in which a person chronically lives "on the borderline" between normal, adaptive functioning and real psychic disability.
This book gives readers insight into an often misunderstood mental disorder. Blending her own personal BPD history with a broader cultural history of it, Newman dissects, combats myths, and reveals both the struggles and joys of living with BPD.
This tome also gives us observations on Canada's mental health care system as well as the conclusions of BPD research studies.
Finally, this book's title "Rough Magic" is utterd in a soliloquy by the main character in Act 5 Scene 1 of Shakespeare's fantastical tragicomic romance play "The Tempest" (circa 1611). Note also that "Miranda" (the author's first name) is the daughter of this main character.
In conclusion, this is an honest and raw memoir that will probably stay with you long after you have read it!!
XXXXX
(2024; 11 chapters; main narrative 270 pages; acknowledgements; works referenced)
XXXXX
February 10, 2025
This is an extraordinary work about a difficult subject. Miranda Newman weaves a heartbreaking story of living with borderline personality disorder, the "leprosy of psychiatric illnesses", and the evolution of the diagnosis and treatment of and recovery from BPD. This work is definitely a GG literary award nominee! I highly recommend it!
May 22, 2024
I found this book so informative and honest, and I recognized a lot of myself in it!
November 30, 2025
As a person in recovery I've read both technical books on mental health AND memoirs about addiction or mental health. At times both suffer from a lack of credibility - in the technical books I want lived experience. In the memoirs I want practical knowledge I can apply.
This book does both research and memoir brilliantly. It's unique in this field and I can't imagine anyone near BPD not reading this exceptional book.
This book does both research and memoir brilliantly. It's unique in this field and I can't imagine anyone near BPD not reading this exceptional book.
March 22, 2025
I thought I knew a lot about BPD but this book taught me so much more! Newman’s approach to the topic was relatable and engaging, helping readers to better understand a very misunderstood diagnosis. Highly recommend for anyone living with BPD or for those who love someone with BPD.
June 19, 2025
An honest account of what it’s like struggling with BPD. Some scientific information mixed with personal accounts that were relatable. This book was a great perspective of what it means to have BPD and I would encourage people with BPD and their loved ones to give this a read!
May 20, 2024
A generous deep dive into the history of borderline personality disorder and the author's experience as a person living with it. Very readable with lots of references and food for thought.
January 8, 2025
I read most of it but DNF ed eventually. The subject matter was interesting to me. The trauma was awful, and hard to get through.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews