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Doormen of the Upper East Side
The Muse's Undoing
What if this is the worst idea?
I may be struggling as an artist in New York, but I’m a great doorman. Is it the easiest job in the city? Probably. And it gives my mind all the time it needs to wander. Sometimes to my current project or muse, but more often to the one who got away.
I was the one he used to reach for in the middle of the night when the nightmares came. My adopted brother, once not much more than a stranger, became my closest friend during one of the most difficult times of his life.
Now home from years overseas as a journalist, Fischer is back in his apartment on the Upper East Side where I man the door most evenings, adjusting to his life as a single dad. I’ve missed him, and at least that feeling is mutual.
The other feelings I have for Fischer aren’t something we talk about or even acknowledge. No. He only rubs my back to help me sleep. We cuddle up to watch TV. We touch because he needs it, and I crave it. Then, with a single kiss eight years in the making, we unleash a love that could grind both our lives to dust.
I may be struggling as an artist in New York, but I’m a great doorman. Is it the easiest job in the city? Probably. And it gives my mind all the time it needs to wander. Sometimes to my current project or muse, but more often to the one who got away.
I was the one he used to reach for in the middle of the night when the nightmares came. My adopted brother, once not much more than a stranger, became my closest friend during one of the most difficult times of his life.
Now home from years overseas as a journalist, Fischer is back in his apartment on the Upper East Side where I man the door most evenings, adjusting to his life as a single dad. I’ve missed him, and at least that feeling is mutual.
The other feelings I have for Fischer aren’t something we talk about or even acknowledge. No. He only rubs my back to help me sleep. We cuddle up to watch TV. We touch because he needs it, and I crave it. Then, with a single kiss eight years in the making, we unleash a love that could grind both our lives to dust.
516 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 27, 2024
174 people are currently reading
634 people want to read
About the author
August Jones
14 books321 followersAugust Jones (She/They) is an author of queer romance and a voracious reader of smut. She resides in Texas with her family, pets, and books. However, she reads mostly on her phone because she’s cheap, it has a built in backlight, and it’s almost always in her hand.
If you ever discover her real name, don’t tell her, just read the books she’s published (you’ll like them) and thank her later with a rating or review. Mwah!
Books: KU, Paperback, & Audio
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If you ever discover her real name, don’t tell her, just read the books she’s published (you’ll like them) and thank her later with a rating or review. Mwah!
Books: KU, Paperback, & Audio
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 167 reviews
August 29, 2024
2.5
I expected way better of a story for 500 pages but this was so disappointing, especially after book one was so good. There was nothing to make me emotional, the conflict about the relationship and the way it was revealed was lacklustre and I don’t understand how this is the same author as book one!
Edited to add: I don't understand the title of this book either? Fischer is the muse in question, but essentially his life is only 'ruined' for a week, and then he gets everything he wants: his son, his career, and his relationship with Matthew. If anything it should be called The Artist's Undoing because it's Matthew who gets shut out and abandoned by Fischer, he's victimised by his family, and it's him who has to hide away for them to have a relationship....
✅I had zero issue with the relationship being between adopted brothers - it’s reiterated throughout the book that Fischer never wanted to be part of the family, didn’t act like they were related and didn’t spend time with his adopted family.
✅I also really liked the tension building through the first quarter of the book.
✅Matthew was a really strong character and you could feel the spirals of his moods which I enjoyed reading.
✅The backstory of how they start to shift towards this relationship was also engaging, it felt believable and I was looking forward to seeing where things went.
✅I also almost forgot about Gavin - that man is an angel and I want one, please and thank you.
It was literally everything else that I had an issue with.
For starters, the book was about 200 pages too long. There are endless inner monologues and there were so many pages between each sentence of a conversation that I kept forgetting what they were talking about. It was so convoluted and really needed a more brutal edit. There was so much content that just bloated the book, added nothing and took away from the focus being on how they were actually going to have this relationship:
❌Ravenna was totally unnecessary and felt entirely forced into the story to bring in a high society element, which was totally unneeded.
❌The sex club was redundant after their first visit together because it was just used as the catalyst for them to act on their feelings for each other, it added nothing else except word count and pages
❌Endless and repetitive sex scenes - I get it, they’re insatiable and passionate and have amazing chemistry, but I’m bored to fucking tears and I want to know about the rest of the relationship, not just how many times they can orgasm. Seriously, I was worried for their skin with all that friction all the damn time….
❌Maggie’s wedding planning and her future husband’s family. It felt out of place and I didn’t get why the high society was trying to be forced in - was it just because Matthew is a doorman of a fancy building??
When Fischer and Matthew finally got together, I was honestly disappointed because I expected it to be more of an epic romance and it just wasn’t. It didn’t read as love to me, it came across as insatiable lust, obsession and unhealthy codependency. Matty also deserved so much better than having to hide just because Fischer couldn't figure out for himself that he needed to annul the adoption way, way sooner than he did, and everyone was more concerned about what people would say! I felt bad for Matty because he was ALL IN from the start, and it felt like Fischer was being coerced or persuaded, he never quite felt as in it as he maybe should have been.
Controversial opinion maybe, but the build up was far better than the actual relationship.
What really irritated me is their shit communication skills. They both talk SO much but they never really say anything, and neither listens to the other - it’s like reading two separate conversations at the same time and nobody has a clue what the fuck has actually been said because of their inability to be straightforward and the Olympic effort they put in to misinterpret each other. I wanted to scream from frustration! It’s not hard to say ‘Yes I want to be with you’ but even when they do say it, they’re each so convinced the other doesn’t mean it!!! Make it make sense please!!!
The relentless insecurity and questioning of absolutely everything was beyond annoying and I was so ready to get to the end of the book, BUT when I got there, everything was still pretty much up in the air and that just pissed me off. WHY did he not just go and annul the adoption as soon as they acted on their feelings? Now that would have been way more interesting - the family finding out that they aren’t legally related anymore but they are in love and together! I think I just really dislike that their relationship is found out because of a jealous side character who shouldn’t exist in the first place, and a sister who is more concerned with her wedding than the fact that she outs both Matthew and Fischer.
The other things that bothered me were:
❌The amount of vagina related content! One of the reasons I read MM is so I don’t have the anxiety of MF sex, and I don’t expect MF content to be so prominent in an MM book. It’s not even mentioned in the blurb so it was unexpected and quite frankly I could have done without it!
❌The conflict for Nicole regarding custody could easily have come from Maggie telling her about the relationship between Fischer and Matty. Ravenna was totally pointless.
❌The female characters were shockingly bad - a surprise after Elodie and Jericho in book one. The mum and sister immediately assuming/insinuating that siblings sharing a bed can only mean there’s something inappropriate/sexual going on only reflects on the type of people they are. Nothing was even happening when they started on this, they were the ones making it weird!
❌I didn’t like Fischer at all. He ran away from everything and couldn't have a single conversation where he actually said what he meant or how he felt and he’s supposed to be in his forties? His fear about being a parent was weird - he didn’t have any time in the years he was away to read a book or two on parenting in between news stories? He would also worry about them being seen but then they were kissing in public when he was a known TV personality, and having public sex in a sex club where they knew a lot of the people there … it just made no sense. Again, it would have made the reveal of the relationship way more impactful if it came from them being discovered this way, not from a side character being a bitch.
Overall I loved the build up and Matthew, but I really didn’t like the rest of the book and the way everything comes out and they have their relationship just felt ridiculously underwhelming.
I’m unsure if I want to read anymore of this series yet, if there’s going to be more; I got the feeling it was being set up for Christian and Gibson or his wife to somehow be involved? If that’s the case I’m definitely not interested!
⭐This was also my first ever buddy read! Thanks Jonathan Samuel for making this such a fun read, even though I ended up not liking the book 😂😂
I expected way better of a story for 500 pages but this was so disappointing, especially after book one was so good. There was nothing to make me emotional, the conflict about the relationship and the way it was revealed was lacklustre and I don’t understand how this is the same author as book one!
Edited to add: I don't understand the title of this book either? Fischer is the muse in question, but essentially his life is only 'ruined' for a week, and then he gets everything he wants: his son, his career, and his relationship with Matthew. If anything it should be called The Artist's Undoing because it's Matthew who gets shut out and abandoned by Fischer, he's victimised by his family, and it's him who has to hide away for them to have a relationship....
✅I had zero issue with the relationship being between adopted brothers - it’s reiterated throughout the book that Fischer never wanted to be part of the family, didn’t act like they were related and didn’t spend time with his adopted family.
✅I also really liked the tension building through the first quarter of the book.
✅Matthew was a really strong character and you could feel the spirals of his moods which I enjoyed reading.
✅The backstory of how they start to shift towards this relationship was also engaging, it felt believable and I was looking forward to seeing where things went.
✅I also almost forgot about Gavin - that man is an angel and I want one, please and thank you.
It was literally everything else that I had an issue with.
For starters, the book was about 200 pages too long. There are endless inner monologues and there were so many pages between each sentence of a conversation that I kept forgetting what they were talking about. It was so convoluted and really needed a more brutal edit. There was so much content that just bloated the book, added nothing and took away from the focus being on how they were actually going to have this relationship:
❌Ravenna was totally unnecessary and felt entirely forced into the story to bring in a high society element, which was totally unneeded.
❌The sex club was redundant after their first visit together because it was just used as the catalyst for them to act on their feelings for each other, it added nothing else except word count and pages
❌Endless and repetitive sex scenes - I get it, they’re insatiable and passionate and have amazing chemistry, but I’m bored to fucking tears and I want to know about the rest of the relationship, not just how many times they can orgasm. Seriously, I was worried for their skin with all that friction all the damn time….
❌Maggie’s wedding planning and her future husband’s family. It felt out of place and I didn’t get why the high society was trying to be forced in - was it just because Matthew is a doorman of a fancy building??
When Fischer and Matthew finally got together, I was honestly disappointed because I expected it to be more of an epic romance and it just wasn’t. It didn’t read as love to me, it came across as insatiable lust, obsession and unhealthy codependency. Matty also deserved so much better than having to hide just because Fischer couldn't figure out for himself that he needed to annul the adoption way, way sooner than he did, and everyone was more concerned about what people would say! I felt bad for Matty because he was ALL IN from the start, and it felt like Fischer was being coerced or persuaded, he never quite felt as in it as he maybe should have been.
Controversial opinion maybe, but the build up was far better than the actual relationship.
What really irritated me is their shit communication skills. They both talk SO much but they never really say anything, and neither listens to the other - it’s like reading two separate conversations at the same time and nobody has a clue what the fuck has actually been said because of their inability to be straightforward and the Olympic effort they put in to misinterpret each other. I wanted to scream from frustration! It’s not hard to say ‘Yes I want to be with you’ but even when they do say it, they’re each so convinced the other doesn’t mean it!!! Make it make sense please!!!
The relentless insecurity and questioning of absolutely everything was beyond annoying and I was so ready to get to the end of the book, BUT when I got there, everything was still pretty much up in the air and that just pissed me off. WHY did he not just go and annul the adoption as soon as they acted on their feelings? Now that would have been way more interesting - the family finding out that they aren’t legally related anymore but they are in love and together! I think I just really dislike that their relationship is found out because of a jealous side character who shouldn’t exist in the first place, and a sister who is more concerned with her wedding than the fact that she outs both Matthew and Fischer.
The other things that bothered me were:
❌The amount of vagina related content! One of the reasons I read MM is so I don’t have the anxiety of MF sex, and I don’t expect MF content to be so prominent in an MM book. It’s not even mentioned in the blurb so it was unexpected and quite frankly I could have done without it!
❌The conflict for Nicole regarding custody could easily have come from Maggie telling her about the relationship between Fischer and Matty. Ravenna was totally pointless.
❌The female characters were shockingly bad - a surprise after Elodie and Jericho in book one. The mum and sister immediately assuming/insinuating that siblings sharing a bed can only mean there’s something inappropriate/sexual going on only reflects on the type of people they are. Nothing was even happening when they started on this, they were the ones making it weird!
❌I didn’t like Fischer at all. He ran away from everything and couldn't have a single conversation where he actually said what he meant or how he felt and he’s supposed to be in his forties? His fear about being a parent was weird - he didn’t have any time in the years he was away to read a book or two on parenting in between news stories? He would also worry about them being seen but then they were kissing in public when he was a known TV personality, and having public sex in a sex club where they knew a lot of the people there … it just made no sense. Again, it would have made the reveal of the relationship way more impactful if it came from them being discovered this way, not from a side character being a bitch.
Overall I loved the build up and Matthew, but I really didn’t like the rest of the book and the way everything comes out and they have their relationship just felt ridiculously underwhelming.
I’m unsure if I want to read anymore of this series yet, if there’s going to be more; I got the feeling it was being set up for Christian and Gibson or his wife to somehow be involved? If that’s the case I’m definitely not interested!
⭐This was also my first ever buddy read! Thanks Jonathan Samuel for making this such a fun read, even though I ended up not liking the book 😂😂
November 28, 2025
Dnf @chapter 41/57
“You think we’ll ever be able to have a useful conversation with each other?”
Spoiler alert: The answer is no.
Matthew and Fischer were exhausting, confusing and extremely repetitive. I tried, I really did. But I can't keep reading the same conversation over and over again. This should at least have been 150 pages shorter.
“You think we’ll ever be able to have a useful conversation with each other?”
Spoiler alert: The answer is no.
Matthew and Fischer were exhausting, confusing and extremely repetitive. I tried, I really did. But I can't keep reading the same conversation over and over again. This should at least have been 150 pages shorter.
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April 9, 2025
i only read this for the first time last month, but the way i've already reread it twice since then bc the angst and desperation and obsession had me gasping for air. the third act conflict in particular had me crying for Matthew and Fischer. they deserve nothing but happiness. my babies!! especially Matthew. i wanna protect him with my life. 😭
August 29, 2024
"It was Luke I am your father. It was Tower One has fallen. It was Sweetie, you were adopted. It was What if this is the worst idea ever."
“If you’re interested, I think we should have sex.”
“So, the options are we either fuck, or go back to being normal brothers.”
This was exhausting to read. I put down this book so many times it took me days to finish it.
I'm not new to taboo books so I don't know what I expected exactly, but it wasn't this.
🟢 Brothers/adopted brother
🔵 Age gap - 13 years 20/33 and 28/41
🟡 Timespan - 8 years
🟣 Taboo aspect wasn't well done
🔵 Sexuality not clear for most of the book; both bisexual
🟢 Single dad
🟠 Ex wife, a lot of women present, you wouldn't know they're bisexual until the second part of the book
🟡 Poor communication, some miscommunication
🟣 3rd act breakup
🌶️ Questionable and repetitive; let's pretend they're unicorns and the sex scenes could be realistic for them; both vers
This story could've been told with 200 pages less. It had no business being that long. When I was at page 300 I was really asking myself what more could possibly be told??
Matthew and Fischer were growing up in the same family where Fischer was the adopted kid and 13 years later the parents miraculously got pregnant and had Matthew and his twin sister Maggie.
The whole book is desperately trying to tell us how Fischer wasn't ever around, how he never acted as a brother and when they did have contact, he was an asshole, so with this Matthew is later on justifying his relationship with Fischer.
Nah, wasn't believable. Just own up to it. Just say it, you love your older bro and thank fuck you're not related. The end.
As the story was building up I was definitely invested, especially with the age gap, Fischer being a reporter who got hurt in Afghanistan and came back home to be nursed back to health by Matthew, the estranged brother. That story definitely held potential.
What happened next just didn't work. It didn't.
Fischer goes back abroad and in the span of 8 years they exchange some emails, they never meet. Fischer gets married and has a kid - they still don't meet. When he finally moves back home to get a divorce is when they finally catch up and the love story that evolves is full of weird, stilted dialogues, poor communication, I didn't know what the hell these guys even wanted with each other. They were an almost 30 and a 41 year old guys yet they talked most of the time couldn't figure shit out.
All the time that they were hanging out and emotions were supposedly developing and simultaneously being repressed between them, they were both hooking up. Which is fine, but that pull that should've been there between them and the taboo aspect of it keeping them apart - wasn't there.
Matthew was seeing a transwoman most of the time, then he had an episode where he went to a hotel to drown his sorrows with a few guys and that was it. Other it was women. So he was bisexual, an artist, didn't really seem like he knew what he wanted other than work and fuck, which is fine again, I liked Matthew, but what should've been inside him was this yearning for Fischer. I couldn't sense it. Couldn't sense it from Fischer either.
"The truth is, I find Fischer attractive, but that’s nothing new. When he was captain of his high school lacrosse team, he was an all American cutie, but I was five." Huh?
"Maggie calls me a serial monogamist." Yeah, I don't think so. This guy finds a person he's obsessed with, does his art, fucks their brains out and moves on.
Fischer was just an unlikeable character. In theory he sounded good, but in reality he seemed like a guy who hasn't figured shit out even in his 40's. He was going to that sex club which was just pointless to add to the story. He was seeing women only.
And then it pops in that he was with a guy 20 years ago.
"a habit I picked up in my Grindr era"
This is told in the second half of the book! So he's not straight??
Fischer's view on women was pretty terrible, not to mention he was having sex with them all the time in the book and at the age of 41 sounded like he's simply not mature enough to hold a relationship. He wasn't.
"I gave Nicole three chances. After that, I never let her mouth near my cock again." At the very end of the book we're told he was jerking off most of the time while being married, thinking of Matthew.
"The fact is I descend from West Germany on my biological mother’s side— probably Nazis, which is not something I advertise openly."
"On the weekends Matthew isn’t working and is with his muse, I invite Ravenna up. We drink and fuck, and then I send her back to her apartment two floors down."
"My stomach does the clench thing. My hands want to scrape their way down his thighs. I wonder wildly if I used to be gay, hit my head when the bomb went off, turned straight, and now I’ve gone and reversed it."
Like, what is it?? Why not just tell us upfront they're both bisexual and that's that??
The sex wasn't palatable. Sometimes downright not believable. Is it just me? I don't know. I couldn't see it. It was repetitive and Fischer annoyed the hell out of me.
"Nicole took months to warm up to my cock, and if she were faced with Matthew’s, she’d nope out quick, but maybe it’s different for women since there are structures inside them that stop progress, but an ass goes on forever, as long as he can manage to get through the hole."
Oh, you mean an uterus? It has a name. And oh god, not this again. Fischer apparently wasn't good at straight sex. Women have an ass too. Apparently Fischer never got to Nicole's ass. 😄
"I’ve never had sex with an adult film star, but I’m guessing this is what it must be like."
"Is it possible to be gang- banged by one person? Because I can’t imagine that the woman on the bed in Gibson’s club feels all that different than I do."
Fischer, shut up. Seriously.
So, this just wasn't working. Weird and awkward and also I think this is from their first time having sex where Fischer bottomed for the first time in his life and Matthew was just going for it for an hour and more, all the time while Fischer eventually fell asleep. 😄
Oh! And not to mention his recovery time was a big fat 0. He just had an orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. No pause needed. And most of it hands free! All of it, if I remember correctly.
As I said, we've got ourselves a unicorn right here. Could be, could be.
"I dig my phone out of my pocket, unlock it, and hand it to him. He swipes directly to my folder of dating apps and starts deleting them one by one. It takes a few minutes. Minutes where our cocks are smashed against each other growing thicker and harder. Mine even gets wet."
"Porn’s got nothing on us. We’re loud as hell."
“Yeah, I got around a lot back then. But that’s my point. Are you sure you wanna be doing this?” I ask. “It’s not like it’s uncomplicated.”
What the hell were they even on about? Like make up your damn mind already! So many pages of will they or won't they?
Fischer actually asked Matthew to stop working and taking prep and then dumped him. Of course he did. I mean, you really have to be a lunatic to trust a guy like Fischer. Was Matthew even in love or was it lust? Because it sounded like lust-only. These guys couldn't even communicate when Fischer ghosted Matthew. But prior to that they were all over each other professing their love.
500 pages of that. My head hurts.
“No. What about you? I haven’t scared you off yet?”
He shakes his head.
“I might eventually.”
“You’re gonna let me try for eventually?” he asks, sarcastic.
“You want to?”
“How many times do I have to say it?”
“You scare the shit out of me,” I say.
Confusing, awkward storytelling with dialogues that weren't good. They weren't.
The ending left me wanting more, I don't need a hallmark happy ending, just a solid one and being in the closet and pretending you're related in public but fuck inside their apartment just wasn't it.
The epilogue tried to make it right by Fischer leaving his job and them getting married somewhere but I was past the point of being invested in their relationship at that point.
Somehow I think Matthew should've gotten a different love interest. He was a solid character and I did like him. The taboo part wasn't well done. I didn't feel any tingles, no anticipation, nothing felt forbidden.
“If you’re interested, I think we should have sex.”
“So, the options are we either fuck, or go back to being normal brothers.”
This was exhausting to read. I put down this book so many times it took me days to finish it.
I'm not new to taboo books so I don't know what I expected exactly, but it wasn't this.
🟢 Brothers/adopted brother
🔵 Age gap - 13 years 20/33 and 28/41
🟡 Timespan - 8 years
🟣 Taboo aspect wasn't well done
🔵 Sexuality not clear for most of the book; both bisexual
🟢 Single dad
🟠 Ex wife, a lot of women present, you wouldn't know they're bisexual until the second part of the book
🟡 Poor communication, some miscommunication
🟣 3rd act breakup
🌶️ Questionable and repetitive; let's pretend they're unicorns and the sex scenes could be realistic for them; both vers
This story could've been told with 200 pages less. It had no business being that long. When I was at page 300 I was really asking myself what more could possibly be told??
Matthew and Fischer were growing up in the same family where Fischer was the adopted kid and 13 years later the parents miraculously got pregnant and had Matthew and his twin sister Maggie.
The whole book is desperately trying to tell us how Fischer wasn't ever around, how he never acted as a brother and when they did have contact, he was an asshole, so with this Matthew is later on justifying his relationship with Fischer.
Nah, wasn't believable. Just own up to it. Just say it, you love your older bro and thank fuck you're not related. The end.
As the story was building up I was definitely invested, especially with the age gap, Fischer being a reporter who got hurt in Afghanistan and came back home to be nursed back to health by Matthew, the estranged brother. That story definitely held potential.
What happened next just didn't work. It didn't.
Fischer goes back abroad and in the span of 8 years they exchange some emails, they never meet. Fischer gets married and has a kid - they still don't meet. When he finally moves back home to get a divorce is when they finally catch up and the love story that evolves is full of weird, stilted dialogues, poor communication, I didn't know what the hell these guys even wanted with each other. They were an almost 30 and a 41 year old guys yet they talked most of the time couldn't figure shit out.
All the time that they were hanging out and emotions were supposedly developing and simultaneously being repressed between them, they were both hooking up. Which is fine, but that pull that should've been there between them and the taboo aspect of it keeping them apart - wasn't there.
Matthew was seeing a transwoman most of the time, then he had an episode where he went to a hotel to drown his sorrows with a few guys and that was it. Other it was women. So he was bisexual, an artist, didn't really seem like he knew what he wanted other than work and fuck, which is fine again, I liked Matthew, but what should've been inside him was this yearning for Fischer. I couldn't sense it. Couldn't sense it from Fischer either.
"The truth is, I find Fischer attractive, but that’s nothing new. When he was captain of his high school lacrosse team, he was an all American cutie, but I was five." Huh?
"Maggie calls me a serial monogamist." Yeah, I don't think so. This guy finds a person he's obsessed with, does his art, fucks their brains out and moves on.
Fischer was just an unlikeable character. In theory he sounded good, but in reality he seemed like a guy who hasn't figured shit out even in his 40's. He was going to that sex club which was just pointless to add to the story. He was seeing women only.
And then it pops in that he was with a guy 20 years ago.
"a habit I picked up in my Grindr era"
This is told in the second half of the book! So he's not straight??
Fischer's view on women was pretty terrible, not to mention he was having sex with them all the time in the book and at the age of 41 sounded like he's simply not mature enough to hold a relationship. He wasn't.
"I gave Nicole three chances. After that, I never let her mouth near my cock again." At the very end of the book we're told he was jerking off most of the time while being married, thinking of Matthew.
"The fact is I descend from West Germany on my biological mother’s side— probably Nazis, which is not something I advertise openly."
"On the weekends Matthew isn’t working and is with his muse, I invite Ravenna up. We drink and fuck, and then I send her back to her apartment two floors down."
"My stomach does the clench thing. My hands want to scrape their way down his thighs. I wonder wildly if I used to be gay, hit my head when the bomb went off, turned straight, and now I’ve gone and reversed it."
Like, what is it?? Why not just tell us upfront they're both bisexual and that's that??
The sex wasn't palatable. Sometimes downright not believable. Is it just me? I don't know. I couldn't see it. It was repetitive and Fischer annoyed the hell out of me.
"Nicole took months to warm up to my cock, and if she were faced with Matthew’s, she’d nope out quick, but maybe it’s different for women since there are structures inside them that stop progress, but an ass goes on forever, as long as he can manage to get through the hole."
Oh, you mean an uterus? It has a name. And oh god, not this again. Fischer apparently wasn't good at straight sex. Women have an ass too. Apparently Fischer never got to Nicole's ass. 😄
"I’ve never had sex with an adult film star, but I’m guessing this is what it must be like."
"Is it possible to be gang- banged by one person? Because I can’t imagine that the woman on the bed in Gibson’s club feels all that different than I do."
Fischer, shut up. Seriously.
So, this just wasn't working. Weird and awkward and also I think this is from their first time having sex where Fischer bottomed for the first time in his life and Matthew was just going for it for an hour and more, all the time while Fischer eventually fell asleep. 😄
Oh! And not to mention his recovery time was a big fat 0. He just had an orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. No pause needed. And most of it hands free! All of it, if I remember correctly.
As I said, we've got ourselves a unicorn right here. Could be, could be.
"I dig my phone out of my pocket, unlock it, and hand it to him. He swipes directly to my folder of dating apps and starts deleting them one by one. It takes a few minutes. Minutes where our cocks are smashed against each other growing thicker and harder. Mine even gets wet."
"Porn’s got nothing on us. We’re loud as hell."
“Yeah, I got around a lot back then. But that’s my point. Are you sure you wanna be doing this?” I ask. “It’s not like it’s uncomplicated.”
What the hell were they even on about? Like make up your damn mind already! So many pages of will they or won't they?
Fischer actually asked Matthew to stop working and taking prep and then dumped him. Of course he did. I mean, you really have to be a lunatic to trust a guy like Fischer. Was Matthew even in love or was it lust? Because it sounded like lust-only. These guys couldn't even communicate when Fischer ghosted Matthew. But prior to that they were all over each other professing their love.
500 pages of that. My head hurts.
“No. What about you? I haven’t scared you off yet?”
He shakes his head.
“I might eventually.”
“You’re gonna let me try for eventually?” he asks, sarcastic.
“You want to?”
“How many times do I have to say it?”
“You scare the shit out of me,” I say.
Confusing, awkward storytelling with dialogues that weren't good. They weren't.
The ending left me wanting more, I don't need a hallmark happy ending, just a solid one and being in the closet and pretending you're related in public but fuck inside their apartment just wasn't it.
The epilogue tried to make it right by Fischer leaving his job and them getting married somewhere but I was past the point of being invested in their relationship at that point.
Somehow I think Matthew should've gotten a different love interest. He was a solid character and I did like him. The taboo part wasn't well done. I didn't feel any tingles, no anticipation, nothing felt forbidden.
August 29, 2024
“What better time to take advantage of me? I mean, I guess you could wait until I fall asleep.”
This book had so much Somnophilia that was probably my favorite part!
Couple JUMPSCARE moments for me:
-The MF scenes
-Sounding? It made my dick hurt 😞 🤕
-Maggie outing both her siblings
What I loved:
-The Tension in the first half
-The codependency
-all the cuddles
-the somnophilia
-Matthew and his art
This was a buddy read with sweet sweet Dani, her reviews covers everything else I missed:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
2.5 but gonna round up to 3 ⭐️
This book had so much Somnophilia that was probably my favorite part!
Couple JUMPSCARE moments for me:
-The MF scenes
-Sounding? It made my dick hurt 😞 🤕
-Maggie outing both her siblings
What I loved:
-The Tension in the first half
-The codependency
-all the cuddles
-the somnophilia
-Matthew and his art
This was a buddy read with sweet sweet Dani, her reviews covers everything else I missed:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
2.5 but gonna round up to 3 ⭐️
August 31, 2024
well, ig it’s not an august jones book if the mcs aren’t fucking other people on page (explicit and non-explicit as the author refers to it) in the the first part of the book💀 MF bc of course🙄 at least i’ve read enough of her books now to expect that, but yea, not my favorite.
first of all, first name fischer??? gag! second of all, son’s name vaughn??? double gag! like these are crimes and someone needs to pay!!!!
third, refractory periods who??? myths according to this book.
fischer both touch averse and touch starved??? only likes hugs and snuggling and physical touch with matthew??? both fischer and matthew malfunctioning when they haven’t seen each other in like 1 hour??? the fact they can’t keep their hands off each other ever??? the fact they’re so obsessed they literally shake with it??? fischer being a needy bottom who gets so overwhelmed with pleasure all he can do is lay there and let matthew take him apart??? matthew’s nickname for fischer being princess??? that first somnophilia scene??? sounding!?? just overall how obsessed they are with each other even when it’s detrimental to their sanity and mental health??? YEAAAAAAAAA BABBBEEYYYYY😋😋😋😋 good fucking food
now, the bad. let’s start with the fact that the 3rd act explosion starts with 100 pages still left to go🥴🥴 and that whole shit was MESSSSYYYY!!!! everyone involved in that bullshit are AGENTS OF SATAN, i’m telling u.
raven, so bitter about fischer never wanting more with her (even tho he was very clear) and breaking off their casual arrangement bc he got serious with someone else, turns around and spews defamatory word vomit into nicole’s ear, purposefully skewing things??? that’s insane behavior!!! like really babe, what was the expected outcome??? he wasn’t gonna come back to u🤦♀️ but even more insane, nicole immediately believes it and goes to her lawyers to sue for full custody instead of talking to fischer??? or doing any reconnaissance??? like WTF😤😤 like how does that make sense😭😭 ok fine nicole explains later and i understand her headspace even tho it was fucked up and enrages the hell outta me and she’s the only one of these messy mfs i wouldn’t strangle to completion, but JAILLLLLLL!!!!!! y’all were good coparents who respect each other!! at LEAST enough to allow the other person the dignity of explaining their side before conclusions were jumped to and courts were involved!!! infuriating af!!!
matthew’s sister is immediately against matthew and fischer, acting accusatory and nasty towards fischer with NO EVIDENCE and then, after matthew explains everything, she still doesn’t believe him and continues to believe whatever tf she first jumped to conclusions about AND THEN spilled bean after bean to nicole????? WTFFFFFFFFFF😭😭😭😭😭 this was a devastating loss for me and she never redeemed herself. like can u imagine, ur own twin!?!😭😭 fuck that bitch.
and speaking of bitches that need to be punted in the face like a football, matthew’s mom😤 calling the Gallos like a total opp, tf is that about!?!?😤😤 his mom and sister gave more fucks about how this potential scandal would play out for themselves than they did about matthew and his feelings!!! or about LISTENING to anything matthew or fischer could’ve said. esp the mom bc i don’t even think she TALKED to fischer about it, just heard it from someone else and was like i have nothing to say to u. tf kind of mom is that??? like why does NO ONE want to hear the story from fischer’s side😭😭 they were just assuming and projecting and accusing out their asses😤😤 their whole family turned against them when matthew had been certain he’d have their support no matter what😭😭😭
and then fischer having to deal with this whole mess and get with his lawyers and shit bc he could lose custody of his kid😭😭 this is too devastating to be playing out for 100 pages🤧 like this is the shit that happens when nobody minds their own mf business!!!!!🙄 it was so unfair, i was livid. i don’t wanna be livid for 100 pages tho💀 like maybe if fischer wasn’t such a coward ass bitch, running away and letting other people tell him he needs to stay away from matthew and listening to them(!🙄), then it wouldn’t have been so annoying….bc like bro, matthew is out here losing his whole family AND NOW fischer too??? fuck that. fischer needed to grow a goddamn pair and choose to not give up matthew OR his son during this whole thing. y’all could’ve gotten thru it TOGETHER!!! my god!!!!!!! they were acting like being seen together platonically and looking like normal brothers or friends was the equivalent to fucking on live TV🤦♀️🤦♀️ like fischer, seriously???? your solution was to run away from the ONLY PERSON holding it down for you!?!?! the only person who trusts and believes in you?!!?!! the only person who can calm you down and talk some sense into you?!?! the only person who will support you and who makes you feel better!?!?!? like FUCK, how stupid. now ur both alone and suffering. moron. like really tho fischer, u can’t even call or text??? u just bounced immediately when you hadn’t even had a chance to talk to half the people involved??? BOOOO🍅🍅🍅
oh and of course in the epilogue, they still talk to the family, the mom and sister, even if it’s strained and will probs never be the same. ugh unsatisfying. CUT THEM OFF🗣🗣 and somehow the sister’s boyfriend is more supportive than her (in his own way)???🥴 how tf did that happen lmao
now, despite all this infuriating bs, unfortunately, i found myself binging the 3rd act and i’m mad about it. like i hate it here but i can’t stop reading🤣🤣 also, shock, i teared up at one point and it wasn’t even all in pure frustration🤣 so fuck u for that. 500 pages but i was steadily cruising thru it. and it didn’t really feel that long….somehow….pure melodrama in the second half tho. raven was too involved in the story. matthew’s mom and sister suck shit. nicole pissed me off to the moon and back. everyone had their big fat noses in places they didn’t belong. matthew and fischer could literally look each other dead in the eyes and say “i’m in love with you and want to be with you until i die” and they would both still question it💀 no literally. fischer came to matthew to get back together and matthew assumed he was breaking up with him, even when fischer made it clear multiple times during the convo that he wanted to be with matthew.🙄 also, how tf did fischer’s fancy lawyers or gibson or fischer himself or LITERALLY ANYONE not come up with the adoption annulment solution sooner??? it’s like 25% good build up and tension, 50% sex, and 25% pure messy bullshit💀💀💀 the critiques are endless really. like i’ve complained about a lot and i feel like i’m still missing something. i like and hate this at the same time. i’ll also probs never read this again💀 ugh literally could’ve been sooo good if fischer and matthew just locked in and worked thru the hard times together.
first of all, first name fischer??? gag! second of all, son’s name vaughn??? double gag! like these are crimes and someone needs to pay!!!!
third, refractory periods who??? myths according to this book.
fischer both touch averse and touch starved??? only likes hugs and snuggling and physical touch with matthew??? both fischer and matthew malfunctioning when they haven’t seen each other in like 1 hour??? the fact they can’t keep their hands off each other ever??? the fact they’re so obsessed they literally shake with it??? fischer being a needy bottom who gets so overwhelmed with pleasure all he can do is lay there and let matthew take him apart??? matthew’s nickname for fischer being princess??? that first somnophilia scene??? sounding!?? just overall how obsessed they are with each other even when it’s detrimental to their sanity and mental health??? YEAAAAAAAAA BABBBEEYYYYY😋😋😋😋 good fucking food
now, the bad. let’s start with the fact that the 3rd act explosion starts with 100 pages still left to go🥴🥴 and that whole shit was MESSSSYYYY!!!! everyone involved in that bullshit are AGENTS OF SATAN, i’m telling u.
raven, so bitter about fischer never wanting more with her (even tho he was very clear) and breaking off their casual arrangement bc he got serious with someone else, turns around and spews defamatory word vomit into nicole’s ear, purposefully skewing things??? that’s insane behavior!!! like really babe, what was the expected outcome??? he wasn’t gonna come back to u🤦♀️ but even more insane, nicole immediately believes it and goes to her lawyers to sue for full custody instead of talking to fischer??? or doing any reconnaissance??? like WTF😤😤 like how does that make sense😭😭 ok fine nicole explains later and i understand her headspace even tho it was fucked up and enrages the hell outta me and she’s the only one of these messy mfs i wouldn’t strangle to completion, but JAILLLLLLL!!!!!! y’all were good coparents who respect each other!! at LEAST enough to allow the other person the dignity of explaining their side before conclusions were jumped to and courts were involved!!! infuriating af!!!
matthew’s sister is immediately against matthew and fischer, acting accusatory and nasty towards fischer with NO EVIDENCE and then, after matthew explains everything, she still doesn’t believe him and continues to believe whatever tf she first jumped to conclusions about AND THEN spilled bean after bean to nicole????? WTFFFFFFFFFF😭😭😭😭😭 this was a devastating loss for me and she never redeemed herself. like can u imagine, ur own twin!?!😭😭 fuck that bitch.
and speaking of bitches that need to be punted in the face like a football, matthew’s mom😤 calling the Gallos like a total opp, tf is that about!?!?😤😤 his mom and sister gave more fucks about how this potential scandal would play out for themselves than they did about matthew and his feelings!!! or about LISTENING to anything matthew or fischer could’ve said. esp the mom bc i don’t even think she TALKED to fischer about it, just heard it from someone else and was like i have nothing to say to u. tf kind of mom is that??? like why does NO ONE want to hear the story from fischer’s side😭😭 they were just assuming and projecting and accusing out their asses😤😤 their whole family turned against them when matthew had been certain he’d have their support no matter what😭😭😭
and then fischer having to deal with this whole mess and get with his lawyers and shit bc he could lose custody of his kid😭😭 this is too devastating to be playing out for 100 pages🤧 like this is the shit that happens when nobody minds their own mf business!!!!!🙄 it was so unfair, i was livid. i don’t wanna be livid for 100 pages tho💀 like maybe if fischer wasn’t such a coward ass bitch, running away and letting other people tell him he needs to stay away from matthew and listening to them(!🙄), then it wouldn’t have been so annoying….bc like bro, matthew is out here losing his whole family AND NOW fischer too??? fuck that. fischer needed to grow a goddamn pair and choose to not give up matthew OR his son during this whole thing. y’all could’ve gotten thru it TOGETHER!!! my god!!!!!!! they were acting like being seen together platonically and looking like normal brothers or friends was the equivalent to fucking on live TV🤦♀️🤦♀️ like fischer, seriously???? your solution was to run away from the ONLY PERSON holding it down for you!?!?! the only person who trusts and believes in you?!!?!! the only person who can calm you down and talk some sense into you?!?! the only person who will support you and who makes you feel better!?!?!? like FUCK, how stupid. now ur both alone and suffering. moron. like really tho fischer, u can’t even call or text??? u just bounced immediately when you hadn’t even had a chance to talk to half the people involved??? BOOOO🍅🍅🍅
oh and of course in the epilogue, they still talk to the family, the mom and sister, even if it’s strained and will probs never be the same. ugh unsatisfying. CUT THEM OFF🗣🗣 and somehow the sister’s boyfriend is more supportive than her (in his own way)???🥴 how tf did that happen lmao
now, despite all this infuriating bs, unfortunately, i found myself binging the 3rd act and i’m mad about it. like i hate it here but i can’t stop reading🤣🤣 also, shock, i teared up at one point and it wasn’t even all in pure frustration🤣 so fuck u for that. 500 pages but i was steadily cruising thru it. and it didn’t really feel that long….somehow….pure melodrama in the second half tho. raven was too involved in the story. matthew’s mom and sister suck shit. nicole pissed me off to the moon and back. everyone had their big fat noses in places they didn’t belong. matthew and fischer could literally look each other dead in the eyes and say “i’m in love with you and want to be with you until i die” and they would both still question it💀 no literally. fischer came to matthew to get back together and matthew assumed he was breaking up with him, even when fischer made it clear multiple times during the convo that he wanted to be with matthew.🙄 also, how tf did fischer’s fancy lawyers or gibson or fischer himself or LITERALLY ANYONE not come up with the adoption annulment solution sooner??? it’s like 25% good build up and tension, 50% sex, and 25% pure messy bullshit💀💀💀 the critiques are endless really. like i’ve complained about a lot and i feel like i’m still missing something. i like and hate this at the same time. i’ll also probs never read this again💀 ugh literally could’ve been sooo good if fischer and matthew just locked in and worked thru the hard times together.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 31, 2024
Second venture with this author went just as well as the first.
I couldn't get enough of this. This is 500 pages and yet it never felt that long. I zipped through it, unable to get enough of it. I read it in less than two days, because I didn't want to put this down.
Matty and Fischer are adoptive brothers, but Fischer is 13 years older and the adopted one - so when Matty and his twin sister Maggie were born, Fischer distanced himself greatly from the whole family. He was so checked out that he barely counted as a brother.
Perhaps that is why when Matty and Fischer finally do connect when Matty is 20 and Fischer 33, both legal adults at that, something more than anything brotherly develops between them in the 9 months that Matty takes care of Fischer after he was severely injured in a suicide bombing as a journalist reporting oversees.
But Fischer recognizes something building between them, and once he's recovered from his injury, he runs back oversees to basically stop it before anything happens. Because something would have happened, let's be real.
Maybe at that time they weren't quite ready - or maybe just Fischer wasn't. But 7 plus years later, he comes back for good after he's had been married, had a kid and got divorced.
And while he and Matty have kept in touch via email, maybe seen each other occasion when Fischer has been back for a few weeks here and there, they haven't been as close as they were during those 9 months.
But they reconnect with Fischer back, and there's no stopping the inevitable with them. Ever since 8 years back, they've been very close, very touchy feely, beyond what brothers, blood or adopted, should be.
But soon enough it all comes to a head, and once they give in, it's all over.
There is, for at least 30ish precent, them with other people. About one or two scenes with some description, mostly with Matty and someone he's seeing, but otherwise most of their sex with other people is off page, thankfully. We do get mentions of them with a lot of other people. These two definitely 'sowed their wild oats' as it were before they settle down with each other.
But they're also both hyper sexual people, and with each other? It's an inferno.
Once they get together, it's possessiveness - although they don't mind people seeing or hearing them all that much, I think. Matty more than Fischer doesn't mind that much. Not that it's exactly a kink for them either. But Matty has thoughts of being with Fischer in front of others in the middle of a sex club they go to a few times, although if Fischer is up for that would remain to be seen.
But even with that, they get super jealous and possessive and don't want anyone ever touching the other. Exhibitionism would be as far as they go.
And also, they get obsessed with each other. Seriously to an unhealthy degree. I think they get a bit better about it by the end, but even then not by much. Like I don't know if I've ever read obsession quite like this, it was that wild. Even Drew and Olivier from the first book didn't reach this level (especially after they got healthy, working on themselves, near the end of their book) of obsession.
They could barely handle being away from each other for a few hours a day. Sometimes even worse than that. Matty was seriously close to asking Fischer to quit his news anchor job just so it wouldn't take him away from him. Fischer himself got whiny and pleading with Matty not to leave.
These two were incorrigible with each other too. The amount of sex they had was insane. Although boy was it *whew* hot AF. It was so well done and chemistry was *chefs kiss* off the charts good. The passion these two share is something else.
Also, this did something so many other stepbrother type stories fail to do (or in this case adopted brothers) - have people react negatively to it! I was over the moon even as people pissed me off because how they react, no matter how much it sucked for our MC's, was expected and made sense and caused an appropriate amount of drama when pseudo siblings get together.
Like yeah, Maggie pissed me off. Their mother annoyed me. Nicole, Fischer's ex, made me want to punch her. Raven, the lady Fischer slept with before he got with Matty, was a spiteful bitch. But they all reacted as one would expect. No, they aren't blood related, but they are legally brothers. In the eyes of the law, they are related. And to society they are related. Adoption is supposed to mean you become family, so YEAH, even though they aren't blood related, to an outside observer, it's fucked up. And I've seen people say that it isn't even pseudo-incest with adoption, that it's full on incest. I guess that's up to interpretation, but either way, full incest or pseudo-incest, it IS fucked up.
But that's part of the fun in fiction. And I was all for everyone reacting negatively. They even go so far as to accuse Fischer of grooming and SA'ing Matty when he was a minor. Like holy fucked up shit, batman.
But again...it would make sense to think that. In real life, we'd all think that unless we had concrete evidence to the contrary.
But we're in fiction, and we're following these characters, and it's romance, they need their HEA. WE need them to get their HEA, and we're rooting for them because of that. And in this story we KNOW nothing nefarious happened between them when Matty was underage, that they were 28 and 41, fully consenting adults, before ANYTHING sexual happened at all. And feelings started when they were 20 and 33, still consenting adults.
So fuck all the haters in this story. Let these two be together and in loveee!
And they do get there, eventually, just not without some juicy drama first.
Oh and to add - there is some juicy somnophilia in this. It is consensual at all times, it's just maybe not as thoroughly talked about at times as it should be. And Matty just does it at times when he wants, without Fischer knowing quite when most of the time. But he does give his blanket consent for him to do it whenever he wants, so it's still good. But some might not like that it isn't talked about in depth and everything, is all.
I did complain a bit in my updates that at times, these two kind of talked in confusing ways. It mostly happened near the beginning, but it still happened a few times later on. I wasn't too put off by it, so I didn't give anything off for it. But it did just honestly confuse me at times. I didn't always understand what they were saying or trying to say, more like, and sometimes they wouldn't clarify either (and sometimes they would) so I was left scratching my head a bit. But it was very brief instances here or there so I let it go overall.
So next book is about Chris...but unless it's a book where the guy he's into - Fischer's friend from college who owns the sex club they visit, who clear has an open relationship with his wife who he adores - I'll probably skip it. Unless it's supposed to be endgame MM and not MMF or something...guess we'll see, but I'm not holding my breath.
So unless it's MM only, I'll wait until this author releases her next MM story, which I can't wait for.
Until then! 😘
My Ratings for the Doormen of the Upper East Side Series:
🌕 The Heir's Disgrace: 5 stars (my review)
🌕 The Muse's Undoing: 5 stars
I couldn't get enough of this. This is 500 pages and yet it never felt that long. I zipped through it, unable to get enough of it. I read it in less than two days, because I didn't want to put this down.
Matty and Fischer are adoptive brothers, but Fischer is 13 years older and the adopted one - so when Matty and his twin sister Maggie were born, Fischer distanced himself greatly from the whole family. He was so checked out that he barely counted as a brother.
Perhaps that is why when Matty and Fischer finally do connect when Matty is 20 and Fischer 33, both legal adults at that, something more than anything brotherly develops between them in the 9 months that Matty takes care of Fischer after he was severely injured in a suicide bombing as a journalist reporting oversees.
But Fischer recognizes something building between them, and once he's recovered from his injury, he runs back oversees to basically stop it before anything happens. Because something would have happened, let's be real.
Maybe at that time they weren't quite ready - or maybe just Fischer wasn't. But 7 plus years later, he comes back for good after he's had been married, had a kid and got divorced.
And while he and Matty have kept in touch via email, maybe seen each other occasion when Fischer has been back for a few weeks here and there, they haven't been as close as they were during those 9 months.
But they reconnect with Fischer back, and there's no stopping the inevitable with them. Ever since 8 years back, they've been very close, very touchy feely, beyond what brothers, blood or adopted, should be.
But soon enough it all comes to a head, and once they give in, it's all over.
There is, for at least 30ish precent, them with other people. About one or two scenes with some description, mostly with Matty and someone he's seeing, but otherwise most of their sex with other people is off page, thankfully. We do get mentions of them with a lot of other people. These two definitely 'sowed their wild oats' as it were before they settle down with each other.
But they're also both hyper sexual people, and with each other? It's an inferno.
Once they get together, it's possessiveness - although they don't mind people seeing or hearing them all that much, I think. Matty more than Fischer doesn't mind that much. Not that it's exactly a kink for them either. But Matty has thoughts of being with Fischer in front of others in the middle of a sex club they go to a few times, although if Fischer is up for that would remain to be seen.
But even with that, they get super jealous and possessive and don't want anyone ever touching the other. Exhibitionism would be as far as they go.
And also, they get obsessed with each other. Seriously to an unhealthy degree. I think they get a bit better about it by the end, but even then not by much. Like I don't know if I've ever read obsession quite like this, it was that wild. Even Drew and Olivier from the first book didn't reach this level (especially after they got healthy, working on themselves, near the end of their book) of obsession.
They could barely handle being away from each other for a few hours a day. Sometimes even worse than that. Matty was seriously close to asking Fischer to quit his news anchor job just so it wouldn't take him away from him. Fischer himself got whiny and pleading with Matty not to leave.
These two were incorrigible with each other too. The amount of sex they had was insane. Although boy was it *whew* hot AF. It was so well done and chemistry was *chefs kiss* off the charts good. The passion these two share is something else.
Also, this did something so many other stepbrother type stories fail to do (or in this case adopted brothers) - have people react negatively to it! I was over the moon even as people pissed me off because how they react, no matter how much it sucked for our MC's, was expected and made sense and caused an appropriate amount of drama when pseudo siblings get together.
Like yeah, Maggie pissed me off. Their mother annoyed me. Nicole, Fischer's ex, made me want to punch her. Raven, the lady Fischer slept with before he got with Matty, was a spiteful bitch. But they all reacted as one would expect. No, they aren't blood related, but they are legally brothers. In the eyes of the law, they are related. And to society they are related. Adoption is supposed to mean you become family, so YEAH, even though they aren't blood related, to an outside observer, it's fucked up. And I've seen people say that it isn't even pseudo-incest with adoption, that it's full on incest. I guess that's up to interpretation, but either way, full incest or pseudo-incest, it IS fucked up.
But that's part of the fun in fiction. And I was all for everyone reacting negatively. They even go so far as to accuse Fischer of grooming and SA'ing Matty when he was a minor. Like holy fucked up shit, batman.
But again...it would make sense to think that. In real life, we'd all think that unless we had concrete evidence to the contrary.
But we're in fiction, and we're following these characters, and it's romance, they need their HEA. WE need them to get their HEA, and we're rooting for them because of that. And in this story we KNOW nothing nefarious happened between them when Matty was underage, that they were 28 and 41, fully consenting adults, before ANYTHING sexual happened at all. And feelings started when they were 20 and 33, still consenting adults.
So fuck all the haters in this story. Let these two be together and in loveee!
And they do get there, eventually, just not without some juicy drama first.
Oh and to add - there is some juicy somnophilia in this. It is consensual at all times, it's just maybe not as thoroughly talked about at times as it should be. And Matty just does it at times when he wants, without Fischer knowing quite when most of the time. But he does give his blanket consent for him to do it whenever he wants, so it's still good. But some might not like that it isn't talked about in depth and everything, is all.
I did complain a bit in my updates that at times, these two kind of talked in confusing ways. It mostly happened near the beginning, but it still happened a few times later on. I wasn't too put off by it, so I didn't give anything off for it. But it did just honestly confuse me at times. I didn't always understand what they were saying or trying to say, more like, and sometimes they wouldn't clarify either (and sometimes they would) so I was left scratching my head a bit. But it was very brief instances here or there so I let it go overall.
So next book is about Chris...but unless it's a book where the guy he's into - Fischer's friend from college who owns the sex club they visit, who clear has an open relationship with his wife who he adores - I'll probably skip it. Unless it's supposed to be endgame MM and not MMF or something...guess we'll see, but I'm not holding my breath.
So unless it's MM only, I'll wait until this author releases her next MM story, which I can't wait for.
Until then! 😘
My Ratings for the Doormen of the Upper East Side Series:
🌕 The Heir's Disgrace: 5 stars (my review)
🌕 The Muse's Undoing: 5 stars
September 7, 2024
This one didn't meet my expectations 🥹 am feeling disappointed. It was a slow burn but not really a slow burn, both Matty and Fischer always LOW-KEY liked each other they were pining for each other. YEARS . but they were not really pining for each other at the same time 🥹 I know I know am not making cuz that's exactly what happened with me after reading it I had such big expectations after book 1 but my expectations are shattered now 😭. They showed more intrest in others (romantically) then they did to each other, I mean sure they slept together there were cuddles but it was strictly platonic as they both said .... There was so much sex and romantic relationships with others which was not necessary and that too on-page, after chapt 10 I was just DONE....maybe it gets good at some point and...Maybe and that's a bloody big MAYBE that after sometime when I am in a mood I'll try to read this again but it's a big NO right now from me .....
May 4, 2025
This book tore me tf apart, oh my god. I can’t even describe all the feels I had while reading this. It’s like that feeling you get when you press on a bruise that’s healing? It hurts, but it feels so good.
Everything about the relationship between Matty and Fischer was intense and raw and passionate from the very first page. This emotional roller coaster had all the twists and turns but the love they felt for each other never wavered. I literally am still processing the deeply beautiful and excruciatingly painful relationship between these two.
I feel like I wanted them to be together almost as much as they did. The codependency was elite levels of obsessive and passionate and so well written. The pining and yearning on both sides was so deep and raw. I just wanted everything to go right for them, can safely admit I was attached to both Matty and Fischer. Their friendship turned relationship was super fucking intense. The way they were both so deeply settled with each other just as much as they were rattled by the other? I’m a slut for that type of romance, I fear.
When I tell you the sex in this book was some of the best I’ve ever read, I am not exaggerating at all. The fact that the submissive, needy partner was the older one was a nice deviation from the usual dynamics of the trope. The somno scenes were so fucking hot and passionate like…I highlighted so much and I’m proud of it! There was also sounding which was also super fucking hot 🥵🫠
I feel like what I’m writing is not doing this book justice it was so good and intense and sad and beautiful. I cried a lot, devoured in about 3 days, and wrote many notes saying “aww” bc these two broke me and put me back together a million times throughout the read.
August Jones is definitely a new fave author for me. What an amazing writer. I think I need to sit with this book before I start the next one 🥺
Everything about the relationship between Matty and Fischer was intense and raw and passionate from the very first page. This emotional roller coaster had all the twists and turns but the love they felt for each other never wavered. I literally am still processing the deeply beautiful and excruciatingly painful relationship between these two.
I feel like I wanted them to be together almost as much as they did. The codependency was elite levels of obsessive and passionate and so well written. The pining and yearning on both sides was so deep and raw. I just wanted everything to go right for them, can safely admit I was attached to both Matty and Fischer. Their friendship turned relationship was super fucking intense. The way they were both so deeply settled with each other just as much as they were rattled by the other? I’m a slut for that type of romance, I fear.
When I tell you the sex in this book was some of the best I’ve ever read, I am not exaggerating at all. The fact that the submissive, needy partner was the older one was a nice deviation from the usual dynamics of the trope. The somno scenes were so fucking hot and passionate like…I highlighted so much and I’m proud of it! There was also sounding which was also super fucking hot 🥵🫠
I feel like what I’m writing is not doing this book justice it was so good and intense and sad and beautiful. I cried a lot, devoured in about 3 days, and wrote many notes saying “aww” bc these two broke me and put me back together a million times throughout the read.
August Jones is definitely a new fave author for me. What an amazing writer. I think I need to sit with this book before I start the next one 🥺
August 16, 2024
I really enjoyed Fischer and Matthew’s story. This super spicy, forbidden romance was so good. There was so much passion and chemistry between them. This book had me hooked until the very end. I’m already excited for the next book.
May 3, 2025
I loved the first book of the series—and this second shows clearly the author can write big, juicy, coherent books with a lot of emotions showing through sex and obsession, and yeah, enough toxic-but-sweet codependency to fuel several Alessandra Hazard books (I mean this as a compliment to both; I am in the market for that apparently).
So, the blurb states it clearly, these are not stepbrothers (which somehow, despite the blurb, was what I was halfway expecting); they are adopted brothers indeed, though there are reasons the older was mostly absent from the younger's life till they were adults. And there is a sex club, which is always a turn-off for me (for some reason I keep thinking of whoever has a job to clean those and how clean they are. I am not even OCD or a clean freak, but somehow I always think of that), though that element felt forced and like a hook into a future book. All those elements are not my kinks and would usually be a turn-off and make me quit early. And there are other, less subjective things I did not like: it felt too long and padded with external conflict it did not need (Ravenna. And come on, they are adopted brothers, it did not need malicious external interference), and the codependency is a bit too instant or too early.
But I still liked it: I like the writing style, the voices, the ambition to tell big, over the top romantic and intense love stories, and yeah, apparently I am the market for the huge doses of sweet-toxic-sweet codependency.
Going through more of the author's books, but I am checking the other series in between; not sure if I am in the mood for a book with the sex club...
So, the blurb states it clearly, these are not stepbrothers (which somehow, despite the blurb, was what I was halfway expecting); they are adopted brothers indeed, though there are reasons the older was mostly absent from the younger's life till they were adults. And there is a sex club, which is always a turn-off for me (for some reason I keep thinking of whoever has a job to clean those and how clean they are. I am not even OCD or a clean freak, but somehow I always think of that), though that element felt forced and like a hook into a future book. All those elements are not my kinks and would usually be a turn-off and make me quit early. And there are other, less subjective things I did not like: it felt too long and padded with external conflict it did not need (Ravenna. And come on, they are adopted brothers, it did not need malicious external interference), and the codependency is a bit too instant or too early.
But I still liked it: I like the writing style, the voices, the ambition to tell big, over the top romantic and intense love stories, and yeah, apparently I am the market for the huge doses of sweet-toxic-sweet codependency.
Going through more of the author's books, but I am checking the other series in between; not sure if I am in the mood for a book with the sex club...
August 25, 2024
You really really have to experience an August Jones book to know how unbelievably special they are. I would never be able to recommend just one but that’s neither here nor there, let me tell u about this absolutely stunning one. The slow simmer and build up in this book is dynamite, soft “really shouldn’t be doing this” vibes wind themselves around this intimate story so perfectly and as the build up erupts it’s an absolute inferno… so H O T! The plot feeds itself so well to this emotionally charged environment the story is unfolding in - I was kind of on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering how’s it’s going to play out.
I loved Fischer and Mathew - what absolutely layered, flawed, loveable, fantastic characters. Their journey is emotional and beautiful and messy, much like life. And their center never shifts, like two magnets always drawn to each other.
The story is beautifully crafted, swoony, dripping with feelings that just pull you in, hold tight till you’re unable to put it down. The writing is just addictive as Fischer and Mathew’s bond changes bending shaping into something powerful, something standing true that fights the pressures and barriers coming their way. I loved it from beginning to end and that ending and the absolutely heartbreaking pain they go through to get there, fighting to hold on to their HEA, being triumphant … absolute perfection.
Expect:
* Slow burn
* Forbidden vibes
* Co dependency
* Touch starved and touch averse
* Age gap
* Single dad
* Pining
* Banter
* Opposites attract
* Possessive MCs
* Best friends to lovers
* Sex club
* Artist/Doorman x Journalist/Anchorman
* Adopted brothers
* High heat
* K1nk exploration including Somno, Sounding, Public Play, marking
The author has shared trigger warnings so look into those if you so need.
I loved Fischer and Mathew - what absolutely layered, flawed, loveable, fantastic characters. Their journey is emotional and beautiful and messy, much like life. And their center never shifts, like two magnets always drawn to each other.
The story is beautifully crafted, swoony, dripping with feelings that just pull you in, hold tight till you’re unable to put it down. The writing is just addictive as Fischer and Mathew’s bond changes bending shaping into something powerful, something standing true that fights the pressures and barriers coming their way. I loved it from beginning to end and that ending and the absolutely heartbreaking pain they go through to get there, fighting to hold on to their HEA, being triumphant … absolute perfection.
Expect:
* Slow burn
* Forbidden vibes
* Co dependency
* Touch starved and touch averse
* Age gap
* Single dad
* Pining
* Banter
* Opposites attract
* Possessive MCs
* Best friends to lovers
* Sex club
* Artist/Doorman x Journalist/Anchorman
* Adopted brothers
* High heat
* K1nk exploration including Somno, Sounding, Public Play, marking
The author has shared trigger warnings so look into those if you so need.
August 27, 2024
This book is so intensely passionate and I simply adored how desperate Matthew and Fischer were for each other. Themes: adopted brothers, 13 year age gap, disability rep, forbidden romance, single dad, family drama. The author is making some changes prior to publishing which should only enhance the book so I’ll come back and write a more in depth review after reading the final version. It’s already a 10/10 for me though so I’m excited to see what changes she makes ☺️
ARC review - this is my honest opinion.
ARC review - this is my honest opinion.
August 28, 2024
I'm sorry to give such low rating but I just couldnt get into this. It was honestly hard to finish. I really liked the first book and I was excited for this. But unfortunately I couldnt love this story.
The book is well written, and I do mostly enjoy August Jones's style. The complex characters, messy lives. I guess I start with what I like: Matthew. I really loved him. He was a great, layered character. I wish he had a different story.
But I just couldnt like Fisher. I dont know where to start. His whole I am scarred and cynical monologues were just unbearable. If he was, in fact an old, cynical, traumatised guy, I would understand. But he wasnt. I couldnt see him like that at all in his actions. He kept saying it, but he was dedicated journalist, with an active social and sexual life, and not even a cynical person. What he is was insecure. Soo soo much insecurity. They kept saying to each other "am I enough?" every 50 pages, and talked and talked and talked about it for hundreds of pages. But I couldnt understand why the hell they were insecure. They were both at the same page, sure there were new things, coming out for Fisher and being in a relationship for Matthew. But that was about it ans neither showed obviously bad behavior regarding these issues.And except one certain behavior from Fisher, no one has given the other any reason to be insecure about.
One certain behavior of Fisher's I mentioned of his is him dragging on Raven. He was somehow unable to text someone to end a casual realtionship. And during that time, it felt like if Matthew did sth, or they break up briefly, he would definetly go sleep with her again. It was just icky to let her in his apartment, feed him,keep texting with her, go out with her while saying it's casual and while it's very obvious she wanted more. He is also unwilling talk face to face because last time he tried that they had sex and apperently that's still a possibility. And Matthew just had to wait until he wanted to actually break things off with Raven without saying anything.
And women in this book... whyyy? We had some great female characters from August Jones. I loved Elodie and Jerico in the first book. But here they are all hysterical, jealous, unreasonable and inconsiderate. Maggie would be dead to me after what she pulled. And she doesnt even redeem herself and even acts like she did anything wrong. Just looks guilty. That's it. Raven of course is the crazy bitch clinging to someone who said a million times they didnt want anything serious. Their mom, who claims her adoptive son his her son, she raised him, until shit hits the fan, and all of a sudden she doesnt even talk to her sons and completely believes rumors about his adoptive one with zero benefit of the doubt. I was only OK with Nicole, at least she apologied and had actual shit going on in her life that might have cause her riddicously OTT overreaction. Still way OTT. They are not college age people. Everyone is over 30 I assume. But nobody can do adult communication apperently.
I didnt understand the last few chapters at all. They love each other, all problems solved, they had a reason they were apart for a week and in the meantime texting occationally and knowing both of them are a mess. But still they had a whole 50 page conversation because why they said "i'm sorry" and how the other interpreted it.
There were just soooo many inner monologues. In the middle of conversations, even in the middle of sex scenes, there are 1 page inner monologues. And not once. Someone says sth, 1 page monologue, the other answers with 3 words, then another monologue.
I am being harsh maybe. But I had super hard time reading this book. I pushed and finished it but other than liking Matthew, some nice spice and their touchy codependencey cuteness, I didnt get anything.
Story:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Characters: ⭐️⭐️
Chemistry:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ending:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Angst:⭐️⭐️
Banter:⭐️⭐️
Writing quality:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice:🌶🌶🌶
The book is well written, and I do mostly enjoy August Jones's style. The complex characters, messy lives. I guess I start with what I like: Matthew. I really loved him. He was a great, layered character. I wish he had a different story.
But I just couldnt like Fisher. I dont know where to start. His whole I am scarred and cynical monologues were just unbearable. If he was, in fact an old, cynical, traumatised guy, I would understand. But he wasnt. I couldnt see him like that at all in his actions. He kept saying it, but he was dedicated journalist, with an active social and sexual life, and not even a cynical person. What he is was insecure. Soo soo much insecurity. They kept saying to each other "am I enough?" every 50 pages, and talked and talked and talked about it for hundreds of pages. But I couldnt understand why the hell they were insecure. They were both at the same page, sure there were new things, coming out for Fisher and being in a relationship for Matthew. But that was about it ans neither showed obviously bad behavior regarding these issues.And except one certain behavior from Fisher, no one has given the other any reason to be insecure about.
One certain behavior of Fisher's I mentioned of his is him dragging on Raven. He was somehow unable to text someone to end a casual realtionship. And during that time, it felt like if Matthew did sth, or they break up briefly, he would definetly go sleep with her again. It was just icky to let her in his apartment, feed him,keep texting with her, go out with her while saying it's casual and while it's very obvious she wanted more. He is also unwilling talk face to face because last time he tried that they had sex and apperently that's still a possibility. And Matthew just had to wait until he wanted to actually break things off with Raven without saying anything.
And women in this book... whyyy? We had some great female characters from August Jones. I loved Elodie and Jerico in the first book. But here they are all hysterical, jealous, unreasonable and inconsiderate. Maggie would be dead to me after what she pulled. And she doesnt even redeem herself and even acts like she did anything wrong. Just looks guilty. That's it. Raven of course is the crazy bitch clinging to someone who said a million times they didnt want anything serious. Their mom, who claims her adoptive son his her son, she raised him, until shit hits the fan, and all of a sudden she doesnt even talk to her sons and completely believes rumors about his adoptive one with zero benefit of the doubt. I was only OK with Nicole, at least she apologied and had actual shit going on in her life that might have cause her riddicously OTT overreaction. Still way OTT. They are not college age people. Everyone is over 30 I assume. But nobody can do adult communication apperently.
I didnt understand the last few chapters at all. They love each other, all problems solved, they had a reason they were apart for a week and in the meantime texting occationally and knowing both of them are a mess. But still they had a whole 50 page conversation because why they said "i'm sorry" and how the other interpreted it.
There were just soooo many inner monologues. In the middle of conversations, even in the middle of sex scenes, there are 1 page inner monologues. And not once. Someone says sth, 1 page monologue, the other answers with 3 words, then another monologue.
I am being harsh maybe. But I had super hard time reading this book. I pushed and finished it but other than liking Matthew, some nice spice and their touchy codependencey cuteness, I didnt get anything.
Story:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Characters: ⭐️⭐️
Chemistry:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ending:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Angst:⭐️⭐️
Banter:⭐️⭐️
Writing quality:⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice:🌶🌶🌶
June 14, 2025
August Jones is such a good writer. This book was spicy and tender and funny and heart wrenching and lovely. I loved the audio. Zachary Johnson and Pete Cross crushed it.
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July 13, 2025
So freaking good......
The story is quite messy but
THE SMUT 👀......... 👌💋
August Jones might be the best at writing Smut..
The story is quite messy but
THE SMUT 👀......... 👌💋
August Jones might be the best at writing Smut..
September 1, 2024
4.75🌟
I’m kind of scared of this author now but in a good way. This book is TEA! A masterpiece, with many fucking layers honestly maybe too many.
You’re probably wondering why I’m giving this 4.75 stars; well the simple reason is that the spice wanted to choke me. It was so much that I fear it almost overpowered the story and I tried skipping the scenes but a lot of the character arc/ character development was rooted in the sexy times making it hard for me to skip for fear of missing a focal point in the story line.
But at the end of the day, I find that I don’t mind as much now after getting the bigger picture. This book is a full production, it is again art that has soul and it’s so unique I’m literally crying and throwing up at the fact that I didn’t pick up the first book.
Fischer and Matthew story is beautiful for many reason but mostly in my eyes because of how solid it is, how throughly UNCONDITIONAL, how blown away I was by the chemistry rolling off the pages, how it didn’t take so much for the author to convince me they’re soulmates.
For Fischer and Matthew, a lot of their love story came before physical intimacy and at first I struggled to pin point what exactly is the reason behind the pacing coupled with the lot of co-dependency, obsession? And blurred lines, there was a lot of delusion flying around 🤣.
The bigger picture tho, the pacing, the plot line, the romance, THE DRAMA hell down to the reason why the book is called “THE MUSES UNDOING”
Guys I fear this author ATE THAT.
The story has real edge with real life consequences, the first I’ve actually seen with books of the “stepbrother/ adopted brother” nature which only made me fall more in love.
SLAY.
September 4, 2024
4.75 ⭐️ rounded up.
Wow. That was an emotional roller coaster ride of a book. 😮💨
But in the best way possible!
Matthew and Fischer felt so raw and real.
The Co-dependency was off the charts (and I loved it)
Was this probably a little over the top dramatic? Of course, but that’s why I love reading sometimes. 😁
Wow. That was an emotional roller coaster ride of a book. 😮💨
But in the best way possible!
Matthew and Fischer felt so raw and real.
The Co-dependency was off the charts (and I loved it)
Was this probably a little over the top dramatic? Of course, but that’s why I love reading sometimes. 😁
April 13, 2025
Rating this five stars despite how much Matthew disgusted me at times with how much of a whore he was 🤢 I’m not sure why the author felt the need to include both of them having sex with SO MANY other people. It truly added absolutely nothing at all to the story, other than to make me grossed out
August 29, 2024
4.5 stars
That was one crazy, obsessive ride.
The co-dependency was off the charts and I loved it. Matthew and Fischer were absolute fire and melt-worthy. And the last part brutal.
That was one crazy, obsessive ride.
The co-dependency was off the charts and I loved it. Matthew and Fischer were absolute fire and melt-worthy. And the last part brutal.
November 11, 2024
Book 2 of this fucking amazing series and I am obsessed with it. Like.... Obsessed!! Matty and Fischer are absolutely consumed by each other, in an almost torturoes way, and there is literally no way back for either of them. Their obsession with each other is the highest level I've ever read and I became obsessed with them because of it.
I've seen this mentioned so wanted to say that yes, there is a lot of talking in this but, in order for us to fully understand these 2 it was 100% needed. It could have been cut but, IMO, we'd never have fully understood these 2 without the dialogue and scenes from the first 50% of the book. So... If you've read other reviews that say this then please pass over them. We get such a phenomenal insight in to these 2 in the first half of the book that sets the second half up perfectly. We know every tiny thing about how they work as themselves, together and we can clearly see how they affect each other. Not an easy thing to do if you ask me so well done author!
Anyhoo... The relationship starts at around the 40%(ish) mark but, as soon as you hit halfway this book literally explodes on you. These 2 together are insanely hot, like volcanic lava hot. They're possessive, jealous, were physically ill if away from each other for more than a few hours... Everything about these 2 was taken to the absolute extreme.... And I fucking loved it.
Hand on my heart, from 50% onwards I was hooked and I could not put this down. It's hot, it's slightly taboo (depends on how you view it) but my God did these 2 cripple my anxiety 😂 I honestly had no idea how this would end and I was petrified for them!!
TW - there's somnophilia in this (consensual, encouraged even) and I fucking loved it! Didn't think I would but it did funny things to my insides 😂
I've seen this mentioned so wanted to say that yes, there is a lot of talking in this but, in order for us to fully understand these 2 it was 100% needed. It could have been cut but, IMO, we'd never have fully understood these 2 without the dialogue and scenes from the first 50% of the book. So... If you've read other reviews that say this then please pass over them. We get such a phenomenal insight in to these 2 in the first half of the book that sets the second half up perfectly. We know every tiny thing about how they work as themselves, together and we can clearly see how they affect each other. Not an easy thing to do if you ask me so well done author!
Anyhoo... The relationship starts at around the 40%(ish) mark but, as soon as you hit halfway this book literally explodes on you. These 2 together are insanely hot, like volcanic lava hot. They're possessive, jealous, were physically ill if away from each other for more than a few hours... Everything about these 2 was taken to the absolute extreme.... And I fucking loved it.
Hand on my heart, from 50% onwards I was hooked and I could not put this down. It's hot, it's slightly taboo (depends on how you view it) but my God did these 2 cripple my anxiety 😂 I honestly had no idea how this would end and I was petrified for them!!
TW - there's somnophilia in this (consensual, encouraged even) and I fucking loved it! Didn't think I would but it did funny things to my insides 😂
October 19, 2024
Rating: 4.5
Steam: 5
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: contemporary erotic romance, MM
Tropes / tags: forbidden, age gap, slow burn
Another highly addictive read from August Jones, with forbidden romance, co-dependency & kink!
Steam: 5
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: contemporary erotic romance, MM
Tropes / tags: forbidden, age gap, slow burn
Another highly addictive read from August Jones, with forbidden romance, co-dependency & kink!
August 24, 2024
ARC
This one is book two in the Doormen Of The Upper East Side series and I’m getting more and more addicted to August’s writing every time she publishes something.
I’ve read this book twice, once before the big changes and now this final version and let me tell you, her betas are absolutely killing it but the way she took all of the advices and put them into words is absolutely incredible.
Fisher comes back home to his adoptive family from his reporting job in Afghanistan needing massive surgery and the way to recovery seems really long and full of challenges. After his stay in the hospital he’s left with a very, VERY, sour mood, touch aversion and PTSD. Apparently he doesn’t mind that Matthew, his little brother touches him, so much so that he actually asks him for help during all of this process.
Matt, a bit of a problem child, trying to make something with his art, 20 years old and finally able to connect with his older brother, jumps at the opportunity.
Through all of this they become very close and feelings start to change… until Fisher gets better and runs back to his job.
Years later he’s back, but with a family. A wife that he’s divorcing, and a kid. Here’s when they start to get to know each other again.
And feelings start back exactly where they left off.
The banter, the love that you feel through these pages will wreck you at times and just know, that apart from having some of the HOTTEST sex you’ll ever grace your eyes with, nobody, and I really mean nobody, has ever written somno(phylia) this good.
Jealousy comes out to play, possessiveness… a forbidden love between adoptive brothers that will make you cheer for them so hard.
This story is a struggle, full of hurdles, heartbreak, extreme codependency and obsession. Matthew gets his real muse back, but really, is all this suffering worth it just to have him? Is Fisher going to make the right choices for himself and his son?
Sometimes what we need is to risk losing everything to find ourselves again.
This one is book two in the Doormen Of The Upper East Side series and I’m getting more and more addicted to August’s writing every time she publishes something.
I’ve read this book twice, once before the big changes and now this final version and let me tell you, her betas are absolutely killing it but the way she took all of the advices and put them into words is absolutely incredible.
Fisher comes back home to his adoptive family from his reporting job in Afghanistan needing massive surgery and the way to recovery seems really long and full of challenges. After his stay in the hospital he’s left with a very, VERY, sour mood, touch aversion and PTSD. Apparently he doesn’t mind that Matthew, his little brother touches him, so much so that he actually asks him for help during all of this process.
Matt, a bit of a problem child, trying to make something with his art, 20 years old and finally able to connect with his older brother, jumps at the opportunity.
Through all of this they become very close and feelings start to change… until Fisher gets better and runs back to his job.
Years later he’s back, but with a family. A wife that he’s divorcing, and a kid. Here’s when they start to get to know each other again.
And feelings start back exactly where they left off.
The banter, the love that you feel through these pages will wreck you at times and just know, that apart from having some of the HOTTEST sex you’ll ever grace your eyes with, nobody, and I really mean nobody, has ever written somno(phylia) this good.
Jealousy comes out to play, possessiveness… a forbidden love between adoptive brothers that will make you cheer for them so hard.
This story is a struggle, full of hurdles, heartbreak, extreme codependency and obsession. Matthew gets his real muse back, but really, is all this suffering worth it just to have him? Is Fisher going to make the right choices for himself and his son?
Sometimes what we need is to risk losing everything to find ourselves again.
August 27, 2024
“He's not only a muse, but he's my muse. He's foundational. He's inside me and he drives me, and this has been true from the moment he reached for my hand in bed that first time. I'm irrevocably obsessed.”
Matthew and Fischer are adopted brothers, Fischer is 13 years older and hasn’t been present in Matthew’s life while he was growing up. After Fischer got injured and needed someone around to help him, Matthew stepped in. They grew close, closer than any brothers should be. They never crossed that line then, but now that might change. Both are in a phase of their lives that there is room for the other. They grow closer once more, leading to something neither can deny any longer.
"What are you doing to me?" he says on a breath as he nuzzles into my neck, and I hold him close. "I'm trying to chain you to my soul," I say, clearly out of my mind.”
The bond they formed during Fischer recovery is intense, a little codependent and unbelievably strong. Their relationship is so complex and beautiful. The emotions and feelings between them are palpable even though it’s made so much more complicated because they are adopted brothers. Nothing about being together is going to be easy. A lot of people will not accept it but when you find your person, anything less than fighting for them isn’t good enough.
"I'll never want anyone else." The tenderness in Matthew's eyes nearly knocks me back. I want to reach out and take hold of his waistband-just for balance, but I keep myself still, only swaying slightly. "I want you more than I want to breathe," I confess.”
I loved how both Fischer and Matthew kept twisting around the truth of their feelings. Saying it out loud would make it too real and if the other would return those feelings, the complications from it could be disastrous.
The spice is next level, they just can’t keep their hands off each other. Obsessed doesn’t even cover it and I loved it. And the somnophilia, just wow! Done absolutely right and I need more of it.
“We have a million promises left to make, but our life starts here, both much too late, and just in time.”
It’s completely different from the Heir’s Disgrace but it fits perfectly in this amazing world that August has created. I can’t wait to discover what she has planned for the third book.
I received an ARC in exchange for my honest review.
August 30, 2024
Just kidding. I’m back. The longer I sit with it, the worse it gets. This has so many issues.
This isn’t going to be an unfiltered review because I genuinely think it just wasn’t for me.
I thought it was just simply too long. There was no reason for it to be 500 pages. There were incredibly long inner monologues that I felt just took up space.
I have many thoughts but I don’t think it’s fair to rag on authors when the book just wasn’t right for me.
I did love the dynamic between Matthew and Fischer but every other character in this book (minus Vaughn) can suck an egg.
This isn’t going to be an unfiltered review because I genuinely think it just wasn’t for me.
I thought it was just simply too long. There was no reason for it to be 500 pages. There were incredibly long inner monologues that I felt just took up space.
I have many thoughts but I don’t think it’s fair to rag on authors when the book just wasn’t right for me.
I did love the dynamic between Matthew and Fischer but every other character in this book (minus Vaughn) can suck an egg.
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August 29, 2024D.N.F
I just cannot.
I feel like I'm reading a story while pressing hard on the breaks.
I have annoying triggers going off, years flying by. Women , weddings, kids and then the kinky place. No thank you, I feel moody and angry at them both, and their friends and family.I'm sorry August Jones, I still love your books, but at this time, I just cannot get into this one. Another time maybe.
I just cannot.
I feel like I'm reading a story while pressing hard on the breaks.
I have annoying triggers going off, years flying by. Women , weddings, kids and then the kinky place. No thank you, I feel moody and angry at them both, and their friends and family.I'm sorry August Jones, I still love your books, but at this time, I just cannot get into this one. Another time maybe.
August 8, 2024
There is something about codependency between two people gets to me. Every. Time.
Fischer and Matthew? I love them both so very much. Each of them complement the other so well and their absolute need for each other is so toxic and I ate. It. Up.
This book is definitely different to the first book Heir’s Disgrace. While both are amazing, this book has an intimacy to it. It almost feels like I am intruding on their relationship.
The spice? Yeah. Yeah theirs spice. And it’s plentiful and filthy and so good. But the connection they have? Swoon worthy.
Fischer and Matthew? I love them both so very much. Each of them complement the other so well and their absolute need for each other is so toxic and I ate. It. Up.
This book is definitely different to the first book Heir’s Disgrace. While both are amazing, this book has an intimacy to it. It almost feels like I am intruding on their relationship.
The spice? Yeah. Yeah theirs spice. And it’s plentiful and filthy and so good. But the connection they have? Swoon worthy.
September 9, 2024
ugh
I really wanted to like this but even though it says “no cheating” they are still sleeping with other people over 30% of this book and that’s after they’ve kissed. In my eyes, that’s way too close to the cheating spectrum to claim no cheating.
So much of this book felt unnecessary. The 9 year gap was a snooze fest. Again, they are boning other people for a huge chunk of the book and personally I’m reading for a relationship between the main characters, not other people. It didn’t feel necessary. At the very least, I prefer the cheating to not be on page in graphic detail.
The rest of the book once they finally get together made me want to pull my hair out. The constant questioning of -are you sure you want this? Are you sure? I asked you first - thing was happening almost every chapter. Life stfu you guys love each other. It was maddening.
I liked the adopted brother thing & the touch starved thing.
I really wanted to like this but even though it says “no cheating” they are still sleeping with other people over 30% of this book and that’s after they’ve kissed. In my eyes, that’s way too close to the cheating spectrum to claim no cheating.
So much of this book felt unnecessary. The 9 year gap was a snooze fest. Again, they are boning other people for a huge chunk of the book and personally I’m reading for a relationship between the main characters, not other people. It didn’t feel necessary. At the very least, I prefer the cheating to not be on page in graphic detail.
The rest of the book once they finally get together made me want to pull my hair out. The constant questioning of -are you sure you want this? Are you sure? I asked you first - thing was happening almost every chapter. Life stfu you guys love each other. It was maddening.
I liked the adopted brother thing & the touch starved thing.
September 10, 2024
fell flat, could’ve been way better.
I was so excited for this book and honestly it fell flat. It took me a bit to get into it and actually enjoy Fischer and Matty together because it felt like there was too much going on. The taboo feel of them being adopted brothers, the longing and pining, Fischer having physical difficulties as a result of a major trauma, Fischer having a child that really felt like a useless aspect until the very end because drama needed to happen. It just felt like a whole bunch of stuff going on at the same time, sometimes I questioned what the focus was supposed to be. And frankly, Vaughn’s whole character didn’t really need to exist. I put this down for a bit to read another book just because I ended up getting bored with it.
When I finally did come around and started enjoying the story, I was totally rooting for Fischer and Matty. And they for sure are completely hot together. But then the ending was completely lackluster. For all the drama they had to deal with and their relationship suffering, their happy ending felt rushed and unfulfilling. So much time spent detailing Fischer’s and Matty’s agony and unhappiness and then it was all done and over with in like 35 pages. Justice wasn’t served, no one got the consequences they deserved for making an incredibly heinous accusation against Fischer. Fischer and Matty talking their issues out to mend their relationship felt rushed. And honestly by the end, it wasn’t even a HEA. It was more of a HFN that felt completely unsatisfying. And this book has several editing errors; misspelled words, missing words, and even a random 0 attached to a word. This book needed some more attention before being published, such a shame how much of a let down it was.
I was so excited for this book and honestly it fell flat. It took me a bit to get into it and actually enjoy Fischer and Matty together because it felt like there was too much going on. The taboo feel of them being adopted brothers, the longing and pining, Fischer having physical difficulties as a result of a major trauma, Fischer having a child that really felt like a useless aspect until the very end because drama needed to happen. It just felt like a whole bunch of stuff going on at the same time, sometimes I questioned what the focus was supposed to be. And frankly, Vaughn’s whole character didn’t really need to exist. I put this down for a bit to read another book just because I ended up getting bored with it.
When I finally did come around and started enjoying the story, I was totally rooting for Fischer and Matty. And they for sure are completely hot together. But then the ending was completely lackluster. For all the drama they had to deal with and their relationship suffering, their happy ending felt rushed and unfulfilling. So much time spent detailing Fischer’s and Matty’s agony and unhappiness and then it was all done and over with in like 35 pages. Justice wasn’t served, no one got the consequences they deserved for making an incredibly heinous accusation against Fischer. Fischer and Matty talking their issues out to mend their relationship felt rushed. And honestly by the end, it wasn’t even a HEA. It was more of a HFN that felt completely unsatisfying. And this book has several editing errors; misspelled words, missing words, and even a random 0 attached to a word. This book needed some more attention before being published, such a shame how much of a let down it was.
August 27, 2024
Codependent, super forbidden lovers with intimacy issues? Say less!
When Fischer is thirteen, his adoptive parents unexpectedly conceive. When twins Matthew and Maggie are born, he’s unable to process his feelings about it and essentially ghosts his family. Twenty years later, Fischer is horrifically injured while working as a foreign war correspondent. Matthew moves in to care for him, and the two near strangers spend almost a year growing ever more closely intertwined. When Fish realizes the direction of his feelings, he spooks and runs back overseas, later marrying and starting a family. After eight years, Fischer is home, divorced, and ready to reunite with the artist brother he can’t do without.
My favorite thing about an August Jones book is always the characters. She writes messy, flawed humans struggling to find their way to being together, and Matty and Fischer are certainly that. Their feelings for one another are undeniable, but they struggle not only against concerns about others accepting their relationship, but their own towering feelings of inadequacy.
The tropes are incredible in this one, as is the kink. The spice is blazing hot, including some of the best depictions of somno and sounding I’ve ever read! Their spiraling self-doubt, while relatable, has the potential to be fatiguing, but the quick-moving third act was enough to keep me hooked until the end.
This is book two in the series, but can be read as a standalone. If you’re a fan of August’s previous work, or anyone interested in a near-taboo story with tropes like codependency and “only one bed,” don’t miss this one!
*I received an advanced reader copy from the author and am voluntarily leaving my review*
When Fischer is thirteen, his adoptive parents unexpectedly conceive. When twins Matthew and Maggie are born, he’s unable to process his feelings about it and essentially ghosts his family. Twenty years later, Fischer is horrifically injured while working as a foreign war correspondent. Matthew moves in to care for him, and the two near strangers spend almost a year growing ever more closely intertwined. When Fish realizes the direction of his feelings, he spooks and runs back overseas, later marrying and starting a family. After eight years, Fischer is home, divorced, and ready to reunite with the artist brother he can’t do without.
My favorite thing about an August Jones book is always the characters. She writes messy, flawed humans struggling to find their way to being together, and Matty and Fischer are certainly that. Their feelings for one another are undeniable, but they struggle not only against concerns about others accepting their relationship, but their own towering feelings of inadequacy.
The tropes are incredible in this one, as is the kink. The spice is blazing hot, including some of the best depictions of somno and sounding I’ve ever read! Their spiraling self-doubt, while relatable, has the potential to be fatiguing, but the quick-moving third act was enough to keep me hooked until the end.
This is book two in the series, but can be read as a standalone. If you’re a fan of August’s previous work, or anyone interested in a near-taboo story with tropes like codependency and “only one bed,” don’t miss this one!
*I received an advanced reader copy from the author and am voluntarily leaving my review*
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