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Joe Crow #5
Mrs. Million
Barbaraannette Quinn loved her husband, Bobby, right up until the day he got in his truck,left their home in Cold Rock, Minnesota, and never returned. She has waited six years for him to walk back through her door, and now that she has hit the Powerball lottery, she's willing to give a million dollars to anyone who can make that happen.
Bobby and his girlfriend, Phlox, decide that she will turn him in, collect the million bucks, and then they'll both hightail it back to Arizona to live happily ever after. Unfortunately, everybody wants a piece of Bobby -- including a pair of hulking good ole boys, who figure Bobby owes them, and a sociopathic pretty boy freshout of St. Cloud Correctional, who notices that Barbaraannette's offer doesn't require that Bobby arrive alive. Toss in a shy marathon-running banker, a lovestruck humanities professor, and Barbaraannette's kleptomaniac mother, and things start getting a little hot in Cold Rock.
"I've really started something, haven't I?" Barbaraannette says. What she has started is a crackpot criminal conspiracy in Pete Hautman's funniest novel yet.
Bobby and his girlfriend, Phlox, decide that she will turn him in, collect the million bucks, and then they'll both hightail it back to Arizona to live happily ever after. Unfortunately, everybody wants a piece of Bobby -- including a pair of hulking good ole boys, who figure Bobby owes them, and a sociopathic pretty boy freshout of St. Cloud Correctional, who notices that Barbaraannette's offer doesn't require that Bobby arrive alive. Toss in a shy marathon-running banker, a lovestruck humanities professor, and Barbaraannette's kleptomaniac mother, and things start getting a little hot in Cold Rock.
"I've really started something, haven't I?" Barbaraannette says. What she has started is a crackpot criminal conspiracy in Pete Hautman's funniest novel yet.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1999
3 people are currently reading
68 people want to read
About the author
Pete Hautman
61 books358 followersPeter Murray Hautman is an American author best known for his novels for young adults. One of them, Godless, won the 2004 National Book Award for Young People's Literature. The National Book Foundation summary is, "A teenage boy decides to invent a new religion with a new god."
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 1, 2022
Never gets old
Discovered Pete Hautman about 30 years ago, 'BD'-- before digital --from an actual bricks and mortar bookstore in MN. Those dog eared books are long gone but Im re-acquiring his books for my kindle and re-reading and loving every minute of it.
Discovered Pete Hautman about 30 years ago, 'BD'-- before digital --from an actual bricks and mortar bookstore in MN. Those dog eared books are long gone but Im re-acquiring his books for my kindle and re-reading and loving every minute of it.
May 4, 2016
I was looking for something fluffier to read than the last thing - whatever it was. I've already forgotten. Something with humor in it. Hautman's book reminds me a bit of Donald Westlake oeuvre. There is humor but a bit of danger. Maybe a bit more than a bit.
Barbaraannette not only has too many duplicated letters in her name, but her husband, Bobby, disappeared six years ago. When she suddenly wins almost $9 million in the Minnesota lottery and is confronted by the press, the first thing that pops into her mind is that she will give $1 million dollars to whoever finds him and brings him back.
Barbaraannette realizes too late that this might cause problems. First of all, you don't get all the money at once, but as an annuity, so she would have to take out a loan to pay it. Secondly, she didn't mention that he had to be alive. But once Barbaraannette has made a decision, she sticks to it. She's not sure why she wants her faithless, feckless husband back, but she does. Her sisters think she's crazy. The banker sent to get her account (and give her the loan) not only thinks she's crazy to want Bobby back, but has always been in love with her ... and unable to tell her so.
So far it seems straight-forward, but Bobby has a girlfriend, Phlox, who would like the money but not sure she wants to give Bobby up. Bobby is torn between splitting the million with Phlox and the rest of the money with Barbaraannette. Either way, he'll have to go back to Cold Rock, MN to get his hands on the money. Unfortunately, he cheated two putative business partners out of thousands of dollars there (another reason he left town) who would like a) their money back and b) revenge. But before they can get their hands on Bobby, he's half-rescued and half-kidnapped by a pretty-boy psychopath who's currently shacked up with a liberal arts professor. Then all heck breaks loose.
Confused yet? Hautman manages to sort things out with a little more bludgeoning and shooting than suit my taste, but at least it all gets sorted. It's amusing if not laugh-aloud.
Barbaraannette not only has too many duplicated letters in her name, but her husband, Bobby, disappeared six years ago. When she suddenly wins almost $9 million in the Minnesota lottery and is confronted by the press, the first thing that pops into her mind is that she will give $1 million dollars to whoever finds him and brings him back.
Barbaraannette realizes too late that this might cause problems. First of all, you don't get all the money at once, but as an annuity, so she would have to take out a loan to pay it. Secondly, she didn't mention that he had to be alive. But once Barbaraannette has made a decision, she sticks to it. She's not sure why she wants her faithless, feckless husband back, but she does. Her sisters think she's crazy. The banker sent to get her account (and give her the loan) not only thinks she's crazy to want Bobby back, but has always been in love with her ... and unable to tell her so.
So far it seems straight-forward, but Bobby has a girlfriend, Phlox, who would like the money but not sure she wants to give Bobby up. Bobby is torn between splitting the million with Phlox and the rest of the money with Barbaraannette. Either way, he'll have to go back to Cold Rock, MN to get his hands on the money. Unfortunately, he cheated two putative business partners out of thousands of dollars there (another reason he left town) who would like a) their money back and b) revenge. But before they can get their hands on Bobby, he's half-rescued and half-kidnapped by a pretty-boy psychopath who's currently shacked up with a liberal arts professor. Then all heck breaks loose.
Confused yet? Hautman manages to sort things out with a little more bludgeoning and shooting than suit my taste, but at least it all gets sorted. It's amusing if not laugh-aloud.
February 15, 2016
I had high hopes that this book would be funny! The premise certainly lent itself to be humorous, and yet the story line fell well short of the mark.
What could be funnier than an abandoned wife offering one million dollars on tv after winning the Powerball? Multiple people are trying to cash in on it, and the husband changes hands from one captor to another....sounds like a comedy you could envision on the big screen. Instead there are very weird twists, some odd murders, and the humor is lacking.
I finished the book I. The hopes that the twists would all come at the end, and they just weren't there. I felt like it was a waste of an afternoon. I probably won't read anything by this author again.
What could be funnier than an abandoned wife offering one million dollars on tv after winning the Powerball? Multiple people are trying to cash in on it, and the husband changes hands from one captor to another....sounds like a comedy you could envision on the big screen. Instead there are very weird twists, some odd murders, and the humor is lacking.
I finished the book I. The hopes that the twists would all come at the end, and they just weren't there. I felt like it was a waste of an afternoon. I probably won't read anything by this author again.
April 18, 2016
Being in competition with his brothers in the Federal Duck Stamp contest every year for many yaers, I was hoping Pete's books sucked ( who needs all that talent in one family!). Alas, this book was a lot of fun to read.
October 14, 2009
This guy wears cool shirts.
July 17, 2012
This was a really funny summer read. I really enjoy this one.
April 2, 2013
This book was a hoot! Enjoyed it from page 1 right to the end
March 21, 2023
3.5 stars. Starts slowly, but great characters and good plot twists
July 18, 2012
Lots of very quirky characters. A fun read.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews