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Pounded by Produce
A tale of veggies tempted to break their vows.
Fleeing a tumultuous past, Emily finds refuge at a kitchen job in a quiet countryside parish.
Robert and Laurent are two best friends with a bond that has crossed lines throughout their history but now walk the straight and narrow, giving their lives to their parish as priests.
One magical night under the harvest moon, Robert and Laurent experience a bizarre transformation: They wake up as a tomato and cucumber.
Emily brings these ripe and juicy vegetables into the kitchen, but instead of preparing a meal, she uses them for other, more carnal needs. Emily awakens something inside of the priests, who switch back and forth between their human and vegetable forms.
The three find themself in a steamy entanglement, unable to deny their primal desires. Will they fight their urges or break their vows and alter the course of their lives forever?
From the best-selling author of Get In My Swamp comes a veggie love story filled with angst and lust.
Fleeing a tumultuous past, Emily finds refuge at a kitchen job in a quiet countryside parish.
Robert and Laurent are two best friends with a bond that has crossed lines throughout their history but now walk the straight and narrow, giving their lives to their parish as priests.
One magical night under the harvest moon, Robert and Laurent experience a bizarre transformation: They wake up as a tomato and cucumber.
Emily brings these ripe and juicy vegetables into the kitchen, but instead of preparing a meal, she uses them for other, more carnal needs. Emily awakens something inside of the priests, who switch back and forth between their human and vegetable forms.
The three find themself in a steamy entanglement, unable to deny their primal desires. Will they fight their urges or break their vows and alter the course of their lives forever?
From the best-selling author of Get In My Swamp comes a veggie love story filled with angst and lust.
203 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 14, 2025
663 people are currently reading
2941 people want to read
About the author
G.M. Fairy
16 books540 followersG.M. FAIRY is a #1 best-selling, romance author who dabbles in Fantasy, Sci-Fi, and all things whimsical. She's best known for Get In My Swamp and Pounded by Produce. Her specialty is taking the stories we all know and love and ruining them in the best way possible.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 902 reviews
February 14, 2025
A book about a girl fucking a cucumber and a tomato who just so happens to be the priest at the church she just started working at, has absolutely no business being as good as it was. This had me laughing out loud and heating up at the same time. Enjoyed every second of it in one sitting. Idk what that says about me but idc anymore.
Will never not think about Robert, Laurent and Emily when I eat my veggies. What a beautiful way to start the new year, thank you G.M. Fairy!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Will never not think about Robert, Laurent and Emily when I eat my veggies. What a beautiful way to start the new year, thank you G.M. Fairy!
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
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April 3, 2025Well…this is going to make for an interesting video
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May 28, 2025i know i’m not on here anymore and i deleted all my negative reviews but i need to let the people know that the yaoi in this is more real than it is in blood of hercules. or even iron widow. tradpub polyam mlm representation is being crushed by veggie tales inspired erotica where the priests inexplicably turn into vegetables. #LOVEISLOVE
January 29, 2026
que pasaria si mezclamos challengers con fleabag y una verduleria? este libro pasaría
April 25, 2025
girl what about the yeast infection!!!!!!
May 7, 2025
IT’S A GOOD STORY. WHY ARE YOU BOOING ME YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT.
October 16, 2025
YouTube video coming soon LMAO
April 16, 2025
honestly, wish they had been vegetables for more of this
Read
August 10, 2025Look idk what to tell you… this was a masterpiece….
Only bitches cry over two priests that get a spell on them that turns them into a tomato and a cucumber and they get fucked as vegetables by their live in chef but also the priests are in love but can’t be together and the author compares them to Achilles and Patroclus. It’s me. I’m bitches.
“Don’t do this to me. I love you. I will love you no matter what form you take. Man, priest, tomato, even in death, my heart will beat for you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
LMAOOOOOOOOO fuck
Only bitches cry over two priests that get a spell on them that turns them into a tomato and a cucumber and they get fucked as vegetables by their live in chef but also the priests are in love but can’t be together and the author compares them to Achilles and Patroclus. It’s me. I’m bitches.
“Don’t do this to me. I love you. I will love you no matter what form you take. Man, priest, tomato, even in death, my heart will beat for you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
LMAOOOOOOOOO fuck
May 6, 2025
3.5 - I did it y'all, I read Published Veggie Tales Smut. honestly, i was a lot more charmed by this than i thought i would be... a delightful dose of sacrilegious nonsense paired with horny gay priests has never done any harm, okay? plus Gail was fabulous. I enjoyed the scenes where they were not vegetables so much more than the vegetable scenes, though.
Anyways, I really think GM Fairy should hire me as their copy editor. I'd do it for free just for the bragging rights. Hello, please hire me, thank you, I will proudly wear the badge of smut editor, I know my p's and q's, and I'm willing to defer to you on the cum/come dichotomy (but we've REALLY gotta pick one, please).
Thank you beloved coworkers, without whom I would never know this existed. Maybe the wildest published book I've ever read, because I don't read in this genre at all, but frankly delightful and a great palate cleanser from the litfic swamp I've been trapped myself in. Wheeee!
Anyways, I really think GM Fairy should hire me as their copy editor. I'd do it for free just for the bragging rights. Hello, please hire me, thank you, I will proudly wear the badge of smut editor, I know my p's and q's, and I'm willing to defer to you on the cum/come dichotomy (but we've REALLY gotta pick one, please).
Thank you beloved coworkers, without whom I would never know this existed. Maybe the wildest published book I've ever read, because I don't read in this genre at all, but frankly delightful and a great palate cleanser from the litfic swamp I've been trapped myself in. Wheeee!
July 17, 2025
exposure therapy for my aversion to raw tomatoes 🍅
okay but actually the consistent use of the word come instead of cum is my biggest critique. it really takes you out of the moment, ya know?
🍅
powells friends, I can’t wait to compare notes on this
🥒
okay but actually the consistent use of the word come instead of cum is my biggest critique. it really takes you out of the moment, ya know?
🍅
powells friends, I can’t wait to compare notes on this
🥒
March 4, 2025
Du kunigai, kurie pagal nuotaiką pavirsta agurku ir pomidoru, jauna bažnyčios virėja ir jų... grupinis. Ką žinau 😅👍. Svarbu jiem gerai!!!
January 22, 2025
I got this for review on booksirens.
When I read the title and the blurb I was very curious to read it. I havnt read much sentient objects erotica before but I was definitely intruied. It was just as silly in parts as I tought but also a rather good story and romance. Funny, smutty and weird but still very much a romance.
When I read the title and the blurb I was very curious to read it. I havnt read much sentient objects erotica before but I was definitely intruied. It was just as silly in parts as I tought but also a rather good story and romance. Funny, smutty and weird but still very much a romance.
September 23, 2025
4.5 ⭐️
LOL I LOVED THIS BOOK 😭🤣
This was surprisingly less weird than I thought it’d be?? I was laughing A LOT, and I absolutely loved the FMC. She was funny, relatable, and honestly I’m not sure I would’ve behaved any differently if I ever found myself working with two hot priests 🤷♀️🤣 speaking of priests, I love reading blasphemous books and this one definitely hit the spot for me 🥵 (even tho I wish it had been even dirtier lol)
The only reason this isn’t a 5 star read is because no lube for the MMCs first time is crazy work, and also… how did they buy a farm?? With what money?? lol priests don’t make that much, do they? Anyways, the ending felt a little rushed, but overall I really liked this book. Do I have a priest kink? Who knows. Maybe. Probably. Hot priests for the win!!
1st person - multiple povs
mmf
no virgins
no condoms
no sharing (besides between each other)
no owd/omd
no cheating
no 3rd act breakup
hea
LOL I LOVED THIS BOOK 😭🤣
This was surprisingly less weird than I thought it’d be?? I was laughing A LOT, and I absolutely loved the FMC. She was funny, relatable, and honestly I’m not sure I would’ve behaved any differently if I ever found myself working with two hot priests 🤷♀️🤣 speaking of priests, I love reading blasphemous books and this one definitely hit the spot for me 🥵 (even tho I wish it had been even dirtier lol)
The only reason this isn’t a 5 star read is because no lube for the MMCs first time is crazy work, and also… how did they buy a farm?? With what money?? lol priests don’t make that much, do they? Anyways, the ending felt a little rushed, but overall I really liked this book. Do I have a priest kink? Who knows. Maybe. Probably. Hot priests for the win!!
1st person - multiple povs
mmf
no virgins
no condoms
no sharing (besides between each other)
no owd/omd
no cheating
no 3rd act breakup
hea
May 15, 2025
As a bisexual who was raised catholic, I support this message🫡🍅🥒❤️🔥
January 11, 2025
ARC Read
3.5/5
I want TWO boyfriends. And I want the boyfriends to BE BOYFRIENDS. And I want to be THEIR girlfriend.
Honestly I don't know what to say, I have no words. There were parts that I thought were really impactful and parts that truly had me laughing out loud. There were also parts that weirded me out. This was a wild ride of a story and definitely is one of those turn your brain off to enjoy books. It was a very quick read. I finished it in a couple hours. I think the ending felt a little rushed for me.
3.5/5
I want TWO boyfriends. And I want the boyfriends to BE BOYFRIENDS. And I want to be THEIR girlfriend.
Honestly I don't know what to say, I have no words. There were parts that I thought were really impactful and parts that truly had me laughing out loud. There were also parts that weirded me out. This was a wild ride of a story and definitely is one of those turn your brain off to enjoy books. It was a very quick read. I finished it in a couple hours. I think the ending felt a little rushed for me.
January 19, 2025
Proverbs 15:17 It is better to screw vegetables with those who love you than to screw meat with those who hate you. Or something like that... This was everything I wanted and more. The Veggie Tales we needed. What a healing experience. Jokes aside I absolutely loved this. GM Fairy is too freaking funny and I will forever be a fan. Laurent and Robert could get it. In veggie form too. Must read. Infinite stars. Definitely make getting smacked with a ruler in sunday school worth it.
April 23, 2025
Phenomenal.
The Fathers Vegetable and Emily are each genuine characters, with hosts of their own traumas, resentments, and yearnings. This is a book that is assisted in being an interesting erotica that is sort of critical of the Catholic Church, by a vegetable bit. Love a bit.
The Fathers Vegetable and Emily are each genuine characters, with hosts of their own traumas, resentments, and yearnings. This is a book that is assisted in being an interesting erotica that is sort of critical of the Catholic Church, by a vegetable bit. Love a bit.
February 20, 2025
The amount of grammatical errors, incorrect words, switched tenses, missing words, etc. makes this read like a rough draft that never saw an editor. It makes no sense that it was published like this. Just because it's self-pubbed and spice doesn't make that acceptable.
Also the author clearly did next to zero research on Catholicism because woof. Have your sexy priests but you can spend twenty minutes on even attempting to get their speech patterns or sermons down. Like yeah, I'm being nit-picky as an ex-Catholic but it's just...so bad dude.
And another thing. You wanna write a polyamorous relationship, call it that. Because polygamy (pg 185 on my kindle) is a completely different relationship structure. Again, just five seconds to google the difference between the two. That's all.
Also spoiler for "plot": '
Also the author clearly did next to zero research on Catholicism because woof. Have your sexy priests but you can spend twenty minutes on even attempting to get their speech patterns or sermons down. Like yeah, I'm being nit-picky as an ex-Catholic but it's just...so bad dude.
And another thing. You wanna write a polyamorous relationship, call it that. Because polygamy (pg 185 on my kindle) is a completely different relationship structure. Again, just five seconds to google the difference between the two. That's all.
Also spoiler for "plot": '
July 19, 2025
The best thing about this book is that I never have to read it again.
January 20, 2026
I guess religious veggie smut is not for me 🍅🥒
April 4, 2025
listen NO ONE IS MORE SURPRISED THAN ME that I actually didn't hate this as much as I thought. I saw the rating and was confused about how high it was but if you completely remove the sentient vegetable storyline.... you'd get what I mean.
i cannot believe there is a book in this world where it is veggie tales inspired (SONGS INCLUDED) with some fleabag influence.... i can't wrap my head around it.
i cannot believe there is a book in this world where it is veggie tales inspired (SONGS INCLUDED) with some fleabag influence.... i can't wrap my head around it.
April 28, 2025
3.5 stars. very silly. very unserious. 🍅🥒
July 22, 2025
Bahahaaa!!! I’m dying right now 🤣🤣🤣
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read in my life, but will I be telling others to read it? ABSOLUTELY! 💯
Veggie porn! Who woulda thought? Lmao!!
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read in my life, but will I be telling others to read it? ABSOLUTELY! 💯
Veggie porn! Who woulda thought? Lmao!!
February 17, 2025
Here for a good time…
Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write: I knew since picking up that Bee Movie parody that GM Fairy delivers more than you’d expect in a book. So I’m 0% surprised a book about two priests that turn into vegetables was pretty good.
📕 𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Pounded by Produce by GM Fairy
📙 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: Standalone
📗 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀: E-book on Kindle. 🆓 on LI.
📘 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: Erotica
📔 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀: MMF, instalove, fated mates.
📖 𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: Emily is down on her luck and takes a job working at a remote parish, where a spirit curses the parish priests to turn into vegetables until they fall in love.
🌟 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄: Two things can be true at once. Was this the weirdest thing I’ve read in 2025? Yes. Was it also well written and a solid read? Also yes.
Listen, this isn’t that deep. But I chuckled a bunch and I got out of my reading funk. Just… don’t read this if you’re religious in any way. Thank you *bows out*.
𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: 3.5/5 ⭐⭐⭐
𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹: 4/5 🌶🌶🌶🌶
Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write: I knew since picking up that Bee Movie parody that GM Fairy delivers more than you’d expect in a book. So I’m 0% surprised a book about two priests that turn into vegetables was pretty good.
📕 𝗕𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Pounded by Produce by GM Fairy
📙 𝗦𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: Standalone
📗 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀: E-book on Kindle. 🆓 on LI.
📘 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: Erotica
📔 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀: MMF, instalove, fated mates.
📖 𝗦𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: Emily is down on her luck and takes a job working at a remote parish, where a spirit curses the parish priests to turn into vegetables until they fall in love.
🌟 𝗥𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄: Two things can be true at once. Was this the weirdest thing I’ve read in 2025? Yes. Was it also well written and a solid read? Also yes.
Listen, this isn’t that deep. But I chuckled a bunch and I got out of my reading funk. Just… don’t read this if you’re religious in any way. Thank you *bows out*.
𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴: 3.5/5 ⭐⭐⭐
𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹: 4/5 🌶🌶🌶🌶
December 18, 2025
"I’m just a veggie, and veggies can’t sin.”
🤣 Fairy, give me a fawkin break!
This book was so cute but also so incredibly ridiculous that I intentionally read it slowly because I was having such a time reading.
Priests who turn into a cucumber 🥒 and a tomato 🍅 and get used by the fmc for sexual pleasure 💦 peak writing I tell ya.
A MAJOR plus about this book is that the relationship is equal all around, no one is liked more than anyone else. Unfortunately, authors like to have one couple be more strongly attracted to each other leaving the third person out and I HATE that. Don't worry, that's not the case here 😉.
🤣 Fairy, give me a fawkin break!
This book was so cute but also so incredibly ridiculous that I intentionally read it slowly because I was having such a time reading.
Priests who turn into a cucumber 🥒 and a tomato 🍅 and get used by the fmc for sexual pleasure 💦 peak writing I tell ya.
A MAJOR plus about this book is that the relationship is equal all around, no one is liked more than anyone else. Unfortunately, authors like to have one couple be more strongly attracted to each other leaving the third person out and I HATE that. Don't worry, that's not the case here 😉.
July 19, 2025
Well that was something
January 25, 2026
Curiosity did in fact get the better of me
March 24, 2025
I'm going to be honest here, going in I did not think this book was going to be for me. I don't have the best track record with priest romances, but I figured if one was going to work it might be one that's a little weird. Then again food in the bedroom also weirds me out a bit. All I'm trying to say is booksta influenced me and I gave this a shot and it blew my fucking mind. Sold. Bought the special edition, ordered the crochet peen, made this my personality for a week. G.M. Fairy can write a whole produce section of priest romances and I'll read every single one. Anyway, I like to cook where can I find some priests of my own that need a live in cook to help this break their vows?
April 11, 2025
Ingrid & I got this book as a joke and it was actually so disturbing. Veggie tales and fleabag erotica???? Help 💀
Displaying 1 - 30 of 902 reviews