Never Leave the Dogs Behind: A Memoir – The New York Times Bestseller About Surviving Divorce and Rebuilding in the Utah Desert

by Brianna Madia

In this stunning and triumphant memoir, the author of the New York Times bestseller Nowhere for Very Long continues her a tale of a woman reckoning with the decision to live alone and unburdened in the desert Southwest, in a trailer without running water or electricity, with nothing to her name and no one for company except the four dogs in her pack. In her debut memoir, Nowhere for Very Long , Brianna Madia reflected on her solitary life as a nomad, free to roam some of the most beautiful land in America. In Never Leave the Dogs Behind , the van life adherent and nature enthusiast faces unfathomable darkness, her only solace the support of her dogs. Moving from her pared-down van into a pared-down trailer, Brianna reckons with her decision and what it means to be alone in the desert, living on a small patch of dirt on the dusty outskirts of a small town in Utah, accompanied by her four precious dogs, Bucket, Dagwood, Birdie, and Banjo, made famous on Briana’s social media posts. A powerful and poignant portrait of a life on the road less traveled, Never Leave the Dogs behind is about finding the courage to start over when the dream life you thought you were living collapses around your feet. Her remarkable insights on what is truly important in life hold profound meaning for us all.  

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Dogs, Animals, Travel, Nature

208 pages, Paperback

Published April 15, 2025

About the author

Brianna Madia has lived a life of relentless intention, traveling the deserts of the American West in an old Ford van. She made a name for herself on social media with her inspiring captions-cum-essays about bravery, identity, nature, and subverting expectations. She lives in Utah with her four dogs.

Reviews

[Lizzie Gilbride · Rating 5 out of 5]

and then we pick ourselves up and we finish the fucking shed

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This second memoir is a continuation of the first, and both are 100% worth the read.

Nowhere for Very Long reflects on her life as a nomad and living true to herself, and starts the beginning of a traumatic couple years.

Never Leave the Dogs Behind continues Bri’s story as she faces the darkness of her life completely falling apart. Four dogs, nine acres of desert land outside of a small town in Utah, and living in a falling apart trailer and van, Bri reckons with anger, disassociation, mania, depression, suicidal thoughts, and the freedom of entirely being herself.

Read if you love…
✨memoirs
✨non-fiction

I was expecting to cry. I knew roughly what was coming in this second memoir, having followed Bri on social media for nearly eight years. But damn, the last five minutes of the book had me an emotional fucking mess.

Just like the first book, there are parts of this book that I very much so remember specific instagram posts and stories about. While so many of us only saw what was posted on social media, it was an honor to get to read the behind the scenes of what Bri was going through post-divorce, the recovery of Dag’s accident, and the brutal online harassment.

And just like the first book, I read this one in one sitting and couldn’t put it down. Bri’s ability to story tell and spin & craft words is just incredible. It’s not overly descriptive but enough that you can picture what she’s talking about.

The dogs. Don’t even get me started. I freaking love Bucket, Dagwood, Birdie, and Banjo. And I’m so fucking grateful they saved Bri’s life.

Massive shoutout to NetGalley and HarperOne for letting me read an ARC of one of my most anticipated 2024 releases early!

PUB day: April 2, 2024!

‼️Trigger warnings: suicidal thoughts; divorce; traumatic animal injury, mentioned, past; addiction & alcoholic, ex, mentioned; disassociation; drug use

[Sharon Orlopp · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one wasn’t for me.

[Moranda Bromberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fast and easy read! 3 stars. I think she could benefit from a firmer hand by her editor because there were parts that really needed to be expanded upon to have their full power. It seemed to me she was still too close to the events of the book to write clearly and fearlessly about them so we only got fragments. I think memoirs succeed when they have the patina of time over the harsher memories because the writer can view them more honestly and less emotionally while also appropriately capturing their true feelings for readers. I also think some refining of the key scenes would have been helpful because I felt the narrative jumped around quite a bit. Her writing is good but this one won’t stick with me as much. I admire her writing though! I hope to see her improve and grow in the future.

[Gwendolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never would’ve thought Birdie had that in her. 🥰

[Jess · Rating 1 out of 5]

A memoir written so close to the traumatic moments it details can only really be called auto-fiction. This is the story of a moment in life not closely examined, but narrativized as a coping mechanism.

I read it as a cautionary tale above all else, and am inspired not to fuck off to be by myself and leave humanity behind — but to commit even more to my friendships and relationships so I never have to live such a solitary and stubborn life.

[Kayla · Rating 1 out of 5]

Quick read but not well written. I found the stories to be fairly boring (fixing a toilet tank… building a shed… I get that she is trying to seem fiercely independent but it’s just not interesting material).

[Una · Rating 2 out of 5]

**Spoilers possible**
I wanted to read Brianna’s side of the story as I have seen so much on Instagram throughout the last couple of years. I wanted her perspective.

Except her perspective is a lot of manipulation

It starts with her admitting she allows her dogs to roam the desert. The adjacent people, her neighbors, are brushed over as those who don’t live there.. so when they complain about dogwood on their property.. her first response is how dare they… she added the “ but they were right “ as an afterthought..

Let’s talk about what happened to Dagwood…
Before the accident..
I have seen her stories of her laughing as Dagwood ran next to her van as they sped through the desert on many occasions … he would get super close to the van as he ran next to them..

And people would warn her..

I have seen her be snarky towards those who did… they said he could get hurt..

And when he did.. it was everyone’s fault but her own. Her husband obviously did it because he was behind the wheel. Yes she says it was “our fault” to supposedly protect her ex husband… but all the words after do not sound like she believes that..

And her revelation on what happened was months and months down the line.. after people gave them generous amounts of money to help with his care.. and once questions started.. she was outraged..

When they started asking them to be transparent with what happened with the extra money.. she clamped up.. she still didn’t touch that subject in this book but glazed over it..

The thing is.. she is an influencer with a lot of following and with that comes the responsibility of knowing when maybe not to show certain things that you are doing.. like..

I have seen her drive her Bertha through river washings claiming cows trampled through them so it was ok for her to…

She likes to say city people just don’t understand… the problem is some of us are like her.. city people who learned to appreciate nature and don’t appreciate it being defiled by people like her..


Edit: I made some changes to the review after speaking with a friend.. i wanted to add these last couple of things..

Doxing her address should have never happened. Reddit forums should not have taken place.. or calls to brands that work with her.. I don’t condone any of those things.. you don’t have to like her.. just move on… I wanted to give her voice a chance as someone who used to enjoy her page. This book has made me realize that she was just not for me, so I am closing that chapter.

[Heather M · Rating 1 out of 5]

Should be titled “Ramblings of a Narcissist” or “Short stories about one of the worst dog owners in history.” As someone whose job is enriching dogs lives…this book enraged me.

[Meryl O’Mahony · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a long time follower of Brianna I can confidently say she is an automatic buy/listen author for me. If she writes it, I will read it. This second memoir was another stunning read that gave me all the feels. She tells stories of figuring out how to navigate life post-divorce with a brand new dog, an insane amount of trolls trying to destroy her life, and family and friends trying to figure how to help her. While listening to the audio (while waiting for my pre-ordered physical copy to arrive in the mail), I’m immediately brought back into the world of living vicariously through her stories both good and bad. She does such a beautiful job of adding emotion and detail it’s like you’re there with her through the hard times and the good times. I especially enjoyed going back to when baby Banjo joined the pack and of course the infamous shed!! I do feel I recognized less of the stores being told in this book than the first one which isn’t a bad thing. It just shows the boundaries she’s put up for her relationship with Instagram.

[cass · Rating 3 out of 5]

i want to start this review by emphasizing the respect & admiration i have for brianna madia. i pre-ordered her first book (back when i had the cash to do so) & my boyfriend & i drove 6 hours one weekend to attend one of her book signings & meet her dogs. so you best believe that as soon as i got the notification that her memoir was available at my online library, i burrowed it immediately!

i loved her first book, & it ended with her life being upended by a traumatic accident. this memoir takes place immediately following. based on her instagram promotions for the book, i expected the pages to be a deep, deep dive into someone's unfathomable darkness, & the way they pulled themselves out of it.

this was not the case. the vibe i got from this book was: "my life fell apart. i'm going to tell you how, but you're not going to be able to feel it, because i [can't, won't] dive that deep into the rawness, the brutality, of it." some examples that come to mind: she said one of her trauma responses was dissociation, but i never actually read anything that helped me see what dissociation is. she said her therapist diagnosed her with mania, but i felt like i was just reading about a self-destructive night on acid. the book ends (quite beautifully) with her saying that she could never die, would never want to die, before any of her precious dogs. it would have felt much more poignant if i hadn't just read, in that same last chapter, that she bought a gun at a sporting goods store & put it up to her temple, but didn't go through with it. it was told so factually, i struggled to be moved by it.

this book failed to meet the expectations i, personally, set for it & other memoirs, but that's truly all they are - MY expectations. the beauty of memoirs is that they are as unique as the story of the person writing them, & regardless of what i think of a memoir, i'm always grateful to anyone for bravely choosing to tell their story. i loved reading about brianna's life in the desert, living in isolation with her 4 dogs; i loved her introspection & the way she explored self-blame, shame, guilt; and i still think she's a badass i know i will continue to follow & support.

[Jquick99 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Van life influencer. Ugh.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Would give this zero if I could. There is nothing original or insightful about this, nothing new has been shared or explored that you couldn't read for free on her Instagram. This was often self indulgent and lacking in self awareness. Glad I was given this as a gift so I didn't waste money on it.

[Alyssa Sadowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this one. I’ve followed the author online for close to a decade now, and recall a lot of the events of this book happening in real time. It’s emotional to read what was going on behind the scenes, and realize that while I was just someone observing content, there was a real person suffering on the other end.

Be kind, you never know what other people are battling.

[Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars for Never Leave The Dogs Behind: A Memoir (audiobook) by Brianna Madia read by the author.

I really got pulled into this one by the cover. I was interested in a story about a woman and her dogs. I didn’t know anything about the author and I didn’t know anything about her online fame. It was sad to hear about her failed marriage and her mental state that made her move to Moab Utah. And I was really disturbed to find out what she really meant by the title of the book.

[kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Madia makes me want to live in the desert with my dogs and a broken down van and write and absorb the sun and dance in the river and drink warm wine and just live.

[Lauren Huddleston · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope.

I actually quite enjoyed her first memoir… But this is not it. This read like a whole bunch of really bad excuses for a lot of the bad choices she’s made. I don’t pretend to be any better or know any better… But if you are putting your life on the Internet and writing a memoir, you need to be comfortable with people, commenting on those things. She has definitely been through it and I feel for her. Nothing forgives internet trolls from being horrible. But I can’t with the irresponsible dog owner sob story piece of this.

In the first chapter, she’s complaining about her neighbor coming over to tell her that her dog was running wild on his property… because she had no idea where her dog was. Once again… running wild out of control. Her response was to put up a passive aggressive sign that says trespassers will be shot????? Sooooooo if that neighbor shot her dog because her dog was trespassing on his property, I’m sure that we would all have to hear about it on Instagram and how sad she was and how unfair it was. If you are going to let your dogs run around with zero supervision, then you have to suffer the consequences.

We all watched and donated money when her dog was run over by a car… because (irresponsibly) she chose to let her dog run around off leash while they were driving the van alongside (stillllllllllll boggles the mind why that seemed like a good idea… like yeah your dog belongs in natures, let them run… I GET it… but like while you’re driving an automobile alongside?). We all make mistakes. Even horrible ones. I can’t imagine going through what she did. But like… did we learn our lesson? Nope. She starts this book in an absolute panic, screaming and sobbing, because that same dog is missing. Why? Because she let it run around off leash in the middle of nowhere without any supervision, digital tracking, etc. (They make GPS collars for dogs?????) Sorry girl but no.

And honestly… I can get over all of that. That’s not the piece that makes me crazy. If she wants to continue letting her dogs run around, even after one almost died for that exact reason, then she can go right ahead. But the part that really turned me off is the chapter where she discusses all of the animals that her dog has killed. She literally says, and I quote all of these animals are considered vermin. I don’t care if your dog kills the nastiest dirtiest creature on the face of the Earth. Your dog is an invasive species… They do not belong in that ecological system. Do not get on the Internet and write in a book that it’s not a big deal that your dog is killing things!!!!!! PUT YOUR DOG ON A LEASH OR GET IT UNDER CONTROL IF ITS KILLING OTHER THINGS IN AN ENVIRONMENT THE DOG DOES NOT BELONG!!! She can crunchy granola on about how dogs should run free allllll she wants. We domesticated dogs. They do not belong in the desert in that manner. The first time that your dog had a run in with a porcupine… that should have been the last. Perhaps the first animal that your dog killed should have served as a wake up call that maybe it’s time to keep better track of your dogs and control them. We all let our dogs run off leash from time to time… I’m not gonna be angry about that (I’ve done it). But if your dog cannot handle itself off leash and it’s running away and it’s literally killing other animals… Then you need to fix it. You need to not let it run around off leash. You need to keep a better eye on it. And Briana I’m gonna tell you right now. It is a big deal that your dog is killing “vermin“… Beavers are incredibly important ecological creatures. They are keystone species. They’re ecological engineers… most likely it wasn’t just a beaver your dog killed. It was the entire ecological web that relied on the beaver pond to survive that you allowed your dog to destroy because you can’t figure it out. THEN you wrote about it in a book as it wasn’t a big deal. Shame on you. SHAME ON YOU.

No stars.

[Haley Bierman-holloway · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ll preface this review by saying that the only Instagram influencer I follow is an opossum. The term “influencer” has a certain ick-factor for me, so in that sense maybe I wasn’t the target audience for this story. I chose it because I am also a woman whose dogs have been my only family during times in my life. Unfortunately, my reaction to this memoir was just a bone-deep dislike for this woman and her choices.

Madia rationalizes her poor decisions over and over again, and it just became tiresome (Bro, if you live in Southern Utah and you’re letting your dog wander around on the property of neighbors with whom you have actively cultivated a hostile relationship, your dog is going to get shot. Please stop). She told us, but never really showed us, about being a target for online bullying. From what I read, it felt like she was grumpy about not being universally loved, and about a few unkind comments. If the harassment was more intense than that (beyond a single nasty email she wrote about early in the story), it wasn’t made clear in this book. Thus, her victim mentality also grew very tiresome. Also, Madia didn’t ever answer my one burning question: how did she pay for her life after being abandoned by all of her sponsors?! The fact that this huge detail was overlooked reinforced a sense of entitlement that I got from her.

I finished the book only because it was relatively short. A lot of peoples’ lives are hard, but interesting. Madia definitely went through a rough patch, but she is not nearly as interesting as she seems to believe.

[Simone Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pheeww!
I've been a follower of Brianna for nearly 10 years now. I have always adored her free spirit and ability to adapt to the wild side of life. While reading I was recounting the moments she shared on instagram over the past few years and it really brought the story to life for me. I can see how this book maybe wouldn't be for everyone but it was definitely for me. I was hanging on every word. Brianna is a badass woman and it's been a pleasure to hold witness to her strength and tenacity ✨

[Kelli · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this memoir because I am a dog lover, and I've seen a post or two on Madia's Instagram and found her writing style to be really quite beautiful at times. She sometimes has a way with imagery and metaphor, and that was what I hoped to find in this book, along with a good true story. Unfortunately, the good writing found in some of her posts really lacked, and the story felt piecemeal. The worst part is that I found this memoir to be quite vapid. Why? Because she takes very little to no time to introduce herself, her dogs (How did she get Bucket and Dagwood?), her husband (How did they meet? When did they fall in love? She does enlighten us as to why they separated, and eventually divorced, but there are no heartstrings to tug as I don't even know how or why they came together in the first place - this matters for good storytelling because the reader needs to be situated in such a way as to empathize with the author's feeling (as in a memoir anyways) but she doesn't, and therefore I don't).

It's vapid because of the lack of introduction and context in which to situate oneself while reading her story. It comes off as, "I don't need to introduce myself because, duh, everyone already knows who I am." It's not like she's Eleanor Roosevelt.

Based on the title, it's about never leaving the dogs behind and spoiler alert: this becomes her very raison d'être, which is very beautiful and meaningful. I just don't feel like that was really the focus of the memoir in its entirety and definitely gets lost right from the get-go with her starting her story on how her dogs piss her neighbors off and she doesn't care. Instead, I'm left wondering how she can afford to live so recklessly; she throws around the term being "broke" after every major purchase, but how can someone who's broke afford to drive to town every day to get essentials. It seems more like someone who's trying very desperately to feel the poor existence because she grew up rich and feels guilty.

In the end, though, there is a very real trust waiting for her when she decides to grow up, which is mentioned in her memoir. Unlike actual poor people. Her story is tragic, and I feel for her, but it needs editing badly, and she needs to grow up just as badly.

I will add two things: one, no one deserves to be stalked and hoped for dead like she has; and two, I'm not one of her haters. I genuinely don't know her story or her page well enough, and I am way too busy for that. I just genuinely think this is poor writing.

[Simone Nieves · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wanted to love this but felt like she skimmed over the more interesting things and expanded on things that don’t really matter or aren’t very interesting. Nothing really went further than what we already knew from her last book or on instagram. Not really sure what the point of this book was besides being a therapy session for the author? Also, the privilege to be able to live a “boring life” (as she says herself) felt a little icky. Her writing isn’t bad but left me feeling like I didn’t really read anything at all. Sorry!

[Taylor Heady · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love living life at the same time as this woman 🧡

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not a memoir just about her dogs (though they are such a huge part of her life and a part of each story) - it’s also about mental health, adventure, finding yourself, and adjusting when life isn’t what you expected it would be. I could never live the life she lives out in that desert, but I so respect Brianna for telling her stories and telling them honestly. I also love following her on Instagram!

[myreadingescapism · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one wasn't as good as the first, nothing really newsworthy and I would have been fine if I didn't read this.

[McKenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have yet to experience another author who can write raw, real emotions like this

[Taylor Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t know if I would have finished this if I didn’t already have such a profound love & connection to the Utah desert. At times it felt like reading a love letter someone wrote to a lover we shared. No longer living in Utah, it made this a harder read than I expected. Almost jealous at moments for the landscapes & experiences she skillfully painted in my mind, jealous for the place that saved me too. Knowing in my bones the way the desert captivates, enraptures, & some times decimates you. Brianna is a beautiful narrator & her honesty & dedication to sharing her experiences is admirable but I didn’t feel the soul deep connection I wanted to feel. More often than not when I felt myself on the precipice of that deep feeling of connection to a story, it shifted direction or was quickly glossed over in an almost clinical/factual way. Overall a melancholic, vulnerable, quick read that I enjoyed.

I wish Brianna nothing but happiness in this life & the next. I hope she finds the peace she so deeply deserves. I hope she’s forever sun kissed, covered in desert dust, & slightly damp with dog slobber. Forever with her half wolves.

[Hailey Henrickson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another beautiful and heartbreaking memoir from Madia. I don’t think that you need to read her prior memoir to appreciate this one however I think it does add some depth to her story. I’ll be curious in many years to come if Madia will write a memoir and reflect on these turbulent years with different eyes. I think I would really enjoy reading that.

[Elizabeth O'Keefe · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a follower of Bri's for years, I am so so so happy to have read this book. Please also read the first one Nowhere Very Long, not required before this read, however, you will understand what is going on throughout her life so much more.

Brianna is such a badass, this book is so raw, and emotional. Bri, please keep writing and sharing your life with us.

[Samantha Chapnick · Rating 1 out of 5]

She’s loving life as an Instagram Influencer. Her husband runs over their dog presumably with her around, her mother sets up a gofundme neglecting the detail of who did the running over, raises $96K for the dog’s care, which she then partially uses for her own expenses then spends much of the book whining about how people are mad at her. She feels sadder for herself than that poor dog.

[Shantaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

At multiple points throughout this book I felt like I was right next to Brianna, experiencing the same feelings. She poignantly describes what it’s like to be depressed while going through the motions of life. This book hit me hard & I’m grateful for her willingness to share about the darkest points in her life. It’s an incredibly brave thing to do. She has a beautiful story telling ability. I’m grateful we’ve been able to witness it through her Instagram captions & her books. The ending of this book was perfect. I truly believe that I wouldn’t be here sometimes if it weren’t for my dog. They are powerful beings & I love all the stories Brianna has shared about hers. May we all continue adventuring and never leave the dogs behind.