Learning to Listen: Essential Skills for Every Counselor

by Joseph Hussung

Learning to Listen offers counselors the biblical principles and core skills necessary to become the active, compassionate listeners counselees need.

Counselors have a high calling to love and care for people who are struggling in a fallen world. A wise biblical counselor draws out the deep attitudes of the heart and encourages their counselees toward growth into the image of Christ. Learning about specific problems, sharing Scripture, and sitting with suffering people are all important parts of counseling. While all of these elements are essential to the counseling task, counseling will ultimately fail without the simple yet vital skill of listening well.

In Learning to Listen, biblical counselor Joseph Hussung gives readers a theology of listening and explains the purpose, posture, and practice of this essential counseling skill. If counselors do not truly hear the hearts of their counselees, they won’t understand the nuanced struggles at play nor how to apply biblical principles. Listening well enables counselors to love well and understand with empathy.Outlines specific practices including sample questions, reflections, affirmation, confrontation, body language, and vocal tone.Offers both a theology of listening and practical application of skills.Learn from Jesus what a listening heart attitude is like.

Genres: Counselling

112 pages, Paperback

Published March 24, 2025

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent primer for counselors and honestly everyone. Dr Hussung does a terrific job in explaining the heart and the need to listen well. He also provides very practical examples on how that can be done in the counseling room! One of my favorite quotes from the book: “Our care for those around us rises and falls on our ability to engage them, understand them, and then react the way God does, with love and compassion.”

[Christa Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really challenged by this book, it was very very good.

Some favorite quotes
“Counselors are called to listen and love, but this isn’t a merely internal act by the counselor. Our counselees, much like Ishmael and Hagar in this story, will need to know that we are listening to them.” Pg 9

“Nothing we do in counseling will be as effective or helpful to our counselees as it could be if we grounded it and listening well” Pg 13

My key takeaways

-Compassion is at the center of Jesus’ heart and mission. When interrupted, inconvenienced, or pressed upon, Jesus shows mercy out of true compassion and love for others. (Ex the woman who touches his garment)

-Wisdom is slow to answer. Having a ready answer, quick to jump in with my own opinion or story is how I operate. In some ways I even assume it shows wisdom and insight to have a ready quick answer. Ps 17:27 “The one who has knowledge restrains his words.”

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biblical and practical wisdom for both newbies and veterans in the counseling field! I appreciate the theological foundation Dr. Hussung builds in the first few chapters, and part 3 is where he provides EXCELLENT examples of what good question-asking and listening skills might look like in session. You are going to want to take notes and borrow his thoughtful phrasing! This book is leaving me considering the work I’m doing and how my body language, statements, and questions can reflect the love of God to those I counsel.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

"You can't love without listening." The opening line of the introduction tells us why this is an important book not only for counselors, but for anyone who wants to love others well. Hussung roots his understanding of true listening in the character of God, and the attentive posture of Christ in his earthly ministry. A Christlike heart is a heart that seeks to know another person genuinely. And this cannot be done without listening.

Hussung also writes with humility, sharing examples of times when he didn't listen well as a counselor. As someone who has made these same mistakes (and more), and helps other counselors develop their listening skills, I appreciated his willingness to be transparent about his own growth journey. Hussung understands that learning to listen is a process.

However, he also understands that learning to listen requires intentionality. He identifies the cultural, personal, and contextual challenges to listening well and offers a wealth of practical wisdom for developing effective listening skills. This book is a must-read for those engaged in counseling at any level. I'm recommending it to all of our counselors at Anchored Virtual.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short, but quite helpful book on listening well. It’s aimed at counselors, but would also be great for discipleship or everyday friends and family relationships. I appreciated the balance of theology (how Jesus listened well and how listening glorifies God) and practical (actual postures, questions, and responses as you listen to someone).

The value of this book was significantly increased for me because Joseph Hussung’s father was my pastor for four years in college. I heard in this book the same loving, gentle, humble tone that Pastor Steve Hussung exemplified, which made it a delight to read and reflect on the character he so clearly imparted to his son.

[Brandon Boone · Rating 5 out of 5]

All counseling books outline a "what."
Most counseling books propose a "how."
A good number of them give a "why."
Some of them do all of that, and take hundreds of pages to do so.
"Learning to Listen" covers everything required on an essential and often-overlooked skill, and does so in a brief, accessible manner. It's full of heavy spiritual truth, expressed with grace. I not only gained valuable information, but also practical advice. And the clear examples made it easy to apply to my own life and context. I highly recommend it to every counselor, pastor, and Christ-follower!

[Lauren DuPrez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review contains affiliate links.

I received Learning to Listen compliments of New Growth Press in exchange for my honest review.

Learning to Listen is the debut title by author and biblical counselor Joseph Hussung. Although the target audience of this book is biblical counselors, I believe that Learning to Listen is a necessary read for all Christians. Hussung begins the book by informing readers, "You can't love without listening," (pg. 1). He posits, "Without being able to listen well, you will never be able to love well," (pg 1). The book informs readers that the ability to love well essentially comes from understanding how God perfectly listens to His children. Because we've been reconciled to Him in Christ, He listens and understands our pain and suffering.

Because God loves us and listens to us well, we ought to show His love to others by doing the same. According to Hussung, this doesn't look like listening to respond, but listening to understand. I appreciated how he articulated empathizing with counselees as part of the listening process.

Empathy seems to be receiving an unnecessary bad rap these days, but Hussung helps readers see how listening with an empathetic ear positions them to show the love of Jesus. On page 41, he wrote, "Empathy shows desire to understand others, by listening to their stories and reacting patiently and gently to those stories. Empathy is the heart disposition from which we can listen well, the trait to demonstrate God's compassion."

Learning to Listen is a brief book, coming in at 91 pages, including its conclusion. It is a quick and incredibly helpful read, and I hope it is one all Christians go through at some point. If you desire to grow in loving people well by listening well, I highly recommend reading Learning to Listen .

[Shannon Oaks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joesph Hussung does an amazing job laying out the foundation in "Learning to Listen" for why listening is an essential skill for a counselor or anyone in a related field, such as a pastor or minister. To draw the reader in, Hussung not only uses his own stories of struggling to listen but also uses short and quite profound statements to cause the reader to pause and reflect. For example, "God, on the other hand, listens out of love and after he hears, he still loves. No matter how messy the story or difficult the context of our cries, God's love is unfazed and undeterred." This statement sets the tone for the rest of the book of how and why we must listen like our God who loves us. Not only did I feel it set the tone, but it caused me to reflect on my own experience as a counselor. The biggest hurdle a counselee has to coming to counseling, is a fear that their story is too horrible, too much, or too irredeemable to be heard. Hussung addresses these concerns in his writing showing the reader how to attend to our counselees in a way that we reflect the "unfazed and undeterred" qualities of a loving God. Also "Learning to Listen" shows how much a counselor can draw out from a client by learning the different nuances to listening. Hussung teaches the reader not only to learn to pick up on subtleties of the counselee's words, but also how to actively listen, to use reflection, and how to respond to the various pain and suffering our counselees present. New counselors are often concerned about how much scripture they know, when to apply it, which interventions they should use, and what they should say. But, in "Learning to Listen" the reader learns that "listening" is more than just sitting quietly. They learn that they have the skills within them to be an excellent counselor that does not require long hours of study and memorization. As the Counseling Director of a local church counseling ministry, I will be adding this to our counselor's library that is available to our lay, undergrad interns, and graduate intern counselors. Also, our pastors, and ministry staff have access to this library as well. Also, as the site supervisor of the undergrad interns, I will be asking them to read "Learning to Listen" as part of their internship. "Learning to listen" is a new favorite for teaching skills to new counselors as well as a book I will continue to revisit to make sure that I do not stray from the listening skills our loving God has modeled for us.

[Hannah Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many essential skills for life are caught rather than taught. I am delighted and encouraged to say that this book is a gift in both, for in its pages, I found the helpful teaching and his personal examples. Not all are stories where he listened well or where counseling had the outcome he hoped for, but in humility, the author shares where he has poorly counseled and how he learned and grew, and I think that other readers, like me- will be reminded that we are not saviors, but only learn to better reflect the heart of the one true Savior, Jesus. Indeed, a book that seeks to help counselors develop the skill and posture of hearing and understanding people before us, can only excel as it is tied to the heart of Jesus. This one is.
Some of my favorite portions in this book were his descriptions of a God who listens as a foundation for both why listening is essential, a demonstration of real care, and also the power behind our “how” as we understand another person. His practical skills, for both in-person and virtual care, will be ones that I review regularly, especially his sections on understanding the gaps of context, values, and perspective.
I can think of many interactions where my listening was poor, and whether by fault or ignorance, I did not care well for friends, family, or others. I wish I had read this years ago, and I am especially grateful for resources such as this to explore these essential skills that can easily be taken for granted– until they become sources of great pain or harmful habits. This short little book is an accessible blessing for anyone who cares for another person, ever.

[Tom Frederick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I am not in the same space as Dr. Hussung in terms of professions, I appreciate Learning to Listen. This is an excellent book discussing the importance of listening for the Biblical Counseling process. The truth is, Learning to Listen, provides a theological ground for all counseling as it frames the therapeutic relationship in terms of listening and empathy. Dr. Hussung discusses the (1) way God listens to his people, (2) how his people, especially in Biblical Counseling, should listen first, and (3) discusses important ways to listen that are helpful, supportive, and BIBLICAL. God’s listening to His people is reflected in how His people, especially counselors, listen with empathy. “Empathy is the place from which we utilize the good gifts that God has given us in creation (thinking, feeling, and choosing) for the second greatest purpose for which they were given—loving and listening to people” (18). Dr. Hussung provides very practical steps to listen well with empathy in the remainder of the book. My plan is to use this text in classes I teach that incorporate basic skills of counseling as this text fits that bill with the bonus of a theological grounding of these skills. Tom Frederick, PhD.

[Angela Parsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book emphasizes the powerful role of listening in building meaningful relationships. It argues that to love others well, we must first learn to listen well. As human beings, we are made to be seen and known by both God and each other, yet many of us struggle with being truly understood.

Through a biblical perspective, the book highlights how God, who listens to us with care and attention, serves as our ultimate model for listening. It offers practical steps for cultivating this skill, encouraging us to not only listen attentively but to engage in communication that reflects Christ's love. In today's fast-paced culture, where people often speak without truly listening, the art of understanding others has been lost. To communicate with love, we must listen deeply enough to understand the other person before offering our words.

Listening is a discipline that requires intentionality, but this book shows that with practice, it can transform our relationships. By truly hearing others, we can make them feel seen and valued, creating opportunities to speak life and encouragement into their lives. This book is a timely and important guide to restoring the art of listening in a world that desperately needs it.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

After my first read of this, I’m convinced I will be back again. I wish younger me had had this when I first faced a roommate who didn’t see I to eye with me, or in our newlywed days. But I am so thankful for this book now in our season of suffering where I crisscross between my roles as a wife, advocate, counselor. This should be an essential read for every Christian in the church since we are called to bear wfh other’s burdens. Part of bearing burdens is listening. This explanation of a theology of listening was earth-shifting as we see God as the God who hears: “ Such a good explanation of the theology of listening: “ If we move toward the practice or posture of llistening but forget that we were created by a God who listens and loves, then we will never fully grasp the complete scope of God’s vision for the care of his people. We listen to others because God listens to us. We love others because God loves.We need to constantly remind ourselves of God’s love for us and his expression of that love to us in listening as we hear the stories of others.” Just need to post this in every room of my house!

[Branden Pearson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I discovered Learning to Listen through The Gospel Coalition’s list of top biblical counseling books of 2025. As someone who naturally tends to talk more than listen, I was intrigued by the topic even though I do not work as a counselor, and I was not disappointed.

The book offers a biblical framework for the purpose, posture, and practice of listening. While it is written primarily for counselors, its insights are deeply relevant for any Christian. When we choose to truly listen to someone, we are choosing to love them well.

The book encourages readers to approach conversations with greater humility, patience, and kindness and shows how attentive listening can become an act of Christlike love. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking to grow in their biblical understanding of what it means to listen well.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hussung has provided a short, easy-to-read resource that is applicable for counselling and pastoral care, as well as everyday life. Focusing on the importance of listening, he explores the purpose, posture and practice of listening well. Many of the practical skills should already be known to someone who is counselling or caring in any format, although are still useful to remember and prioritise. It’s the framework (purpose and posture) that is most helpful. We listen and love because God listens and loves. This is the motivation. We don’t just do it because it is good practice, we do it to honour the Lord we are serving, and to love those around us.

For a more detailed review see: https://musingsinadelaide.blogspot.co...

[Rachel Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learning to Listen is a short read with valuable content on how to become a better listener. Joe Hussung admits that listening is a skill we can never fully perfect in this lifetime, but he gives us encouraging tips on how to improve. I particularly appreciated his practical advice on bridging gaps in conversation and what active listening and response look like.

This is a book I will be returning to frequently and recommending to others as well. Although the title implies that this book is written for counselors, the writing is not technical and is useful to all who engage in conversations with others.

[Laura Hudson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very helpful book for counselors, but anyone who wants to love and listen like Jesus needs to read this book! Dr. Joe Hussung laid a biblically strong foundation for why we need to listen well, how sin has affected our listening, and how to grow our listening skills.
Although the chapters are short (helpful!), they are full of biblical truths, practical advice, and examples to help us apply the concepts. As a counselor who has been counseling for many years, I found this book to be a good refresher with the sections on reflection and confrontation especially helpful.

[Kevin Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

From first to last page this book is not only filled with insight on why we should listen, but loaded with application on the how. Especially love this nugget, "We love in the way we have been loved by Christ. To do this well, we must start with the same posture that Jesus took when he engaged people - a posture that leads with humility, patience, and gentleness. It is only from this place that we can begin to listen well and love people the way that Christ loves them." This will be a companion that you will go back to again and again.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful for those in counseling environments but also for members of any church for their "everyday" relationship. Joe does a great job of engaging this helpful topic with clarity, encouragement, and biblical focus. One of the things that I appreciate about this book is how Joe relentlessly reminds us that our skills in listening are the overflow of God listening to us. The more I'm able to fix my heart on God, the more prepared I'll be to engage the counselee in the ministry I'm given.

Beautiful work! Excited to be re-reading it now with some lay members of my church!

[Ryan Ahlenius · Rating 2 out of 5]

Listening is an essential skill but I found a couple particular things troublesome:

1) Hussung seemed to name certain practices of a counselor sinful when, from the outside, his examples seemed more like a misfortunate coincidence.

2) Some of the listening techniques suggested were more counselee-led and seemed plain awkward. I think there could have been less squishy verbiage used in Part 3 to ground the need for listening in Scripture.

[Beth Tomic · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book; it made me not only love my Savior more but want to listen like he did and put what I read into practice. It's well-written, fresh and encouraging; Dr. Hussung not only helps us think about listening and gives us practical illustrations, he also reminds us that underneath it all is what matters most--the posture of our hearts.

[Susan J.]

Learning to Listen has enriched my inventory of tools for ministry. This book helps by identifying listening skills and then guiding application of them to the person "in front of me" as Jesus would encourage us to. This is a well developed resource and a good "go to" when navigating the counseling relationship.

[Isaac · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a good book, solid. It could have been much stronger and better if it drew on a much broader range of scriptures and exposited them. It needed to be much longer and deeper! Still, thought provoking reading on a neglected topic. If it gives people a hunger to go further, it will prove worthy of a five-star rating!

[Linnea · Rating 5 out of 5]

not just for counselors, this book is key for every relationship. it's grounded in Scripture, so the book isn't all skills but by starting with the foundation, it supercedes the type of relationship and makes it universally applicable

[Ashlee Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and biblical wisdom on how to love others by listening well.

[Jordan Bray · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great resource for counselors or anyone who just wants to grow as a listener.

[Bo Ties · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on a skill that everyone commends as important but rarely describes how to do it well.

[Seth Channell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful introduction

[Darlene Nichols · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good basic primer on one of the most important elements of counseling in any setting, but especially in a professional setting - listening with gospel ears.

“Our counselees need us to listen to the Lord. They need our counsel to flow from our listening to God. They also need us to help them listen to the Lord, to bring them to the Lord, and to teach them to understand and apply what he says.”