The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence—A Memoir

by Gary Trew

Silver Medal – 2025 Readers' Favorite Book Award (Non-Fiction: Grief/Hardship)

Winner – 2025 Independent Author Awards (Memoir & Historical Nonfiction)

Runner-Up – 2025 London Book Festival (Memoir)

Winner – 2024 Literary Titan Book Award



“They shoved his head into the toilet — a baptism of dirty water and urine.
They drew a Star of David on his forehead.
And that was just another day at school.”

Set against the bleak corridors of 1970s England, The Hate Screaming in the Silence is a raw, darkly funny memoir of survival, resilience, and reluctant transformation.

Gary Trew didn’t grow up in a warzone—but it sure felt like one. At Knoll Boys School, bullying wasn’t just tolerated—it was institutionalized. Ritualized violence, anti-Semitic torment, and total indifference from teachers left Gary fighting to stay human in a place built to break him.

Yet, beyond the school gates, there was love—chaotic, unconventional, but real. A quirky mother obsessed with scripture. A quiet father with the gentlest heart. A house full of contradictions, awkward laughs, and unexpected warmth.

Told with unflinching honesty and biting humor, The Hate Game is not just about trauma. It’s about coming through the fire scarred, but standing tall.

If you loved Educated, A Boy Called It, Angela’s Ashes, or The Glass Castle, prepare to meet a voice you won’t forget.

290 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 8, 2024

About the author

Even though Gary has lived in Canada for over twenty years, his close friends and work colleagues still call him “that funny British guy” due to his accent and quick-witted sense of humour. He has successfully navigated careers in the police, the ministry, and in social work. His work as an investigator with abused and neglected children and youth has taught him the value of laughter in the face of life’s challenges.

Gary holds degrees in chemistry & biochemistry, and social work. He has a deep affection for Marmite, sunshine, spicy food, and Cadbury’s chocolate. Additionally, he is a dedicated fan of the Brighton & Hove Albion football club and Vancouver Canucks.

Gary added another feather to his cap by publishing a humorous crime fiction book under his pen name, Denny Darke. The book, The Man with the Pink Sombrero,’is a testament to Gary’s creative side and ability to find humour in unexpected scenarios.

Reviews

[David Cleaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to the internet, I hadn’t read a book for years; shame on me. However, by chance (and ironically, thanks to the world-wide-web) this book happened to come to my attention and the larger part of its subject matter was inevitably irresistible to me. Somewhat surprisingly and I should say happily, the rest was extremely gratifying to read.

In advance, I do feel an honest compulsion to warn any potential reader not to be disinclined from giving this book your time simply because this reviewer attended the same ‘school’ as the author.

Prior to devouring the book in less than 48 hours, I naturally suspected that the author and myself would have one or two characteristics in common although I felt pretty sure that this would be due only to our shared experiences at the eponymous educational establishment that forms the basis of much of the rhetoric. Having said that, I wasn’t at all prepared for the numerous and remarkable similarities in background and family-related angst.

Obviously many folk around the approximate age of myself/the author will have any number of vivid memories of their youth, perhaps some that are relatively disturbing as well as the happier recollections that bring a level of contentment and comfort from remembering formative years. If not for any other, it’s for that very reason you should make time away from your hand-held devices and read this book.

Don’t we all have a few powerful parental demons that skulk around the darker depths of our memory banks? To my surprise, I found that reading this book helped me make a little more sense of my own in a way I’d not previously felt in decades of soul-searching. Haven’t we all tried to ask our parents about their past? After reading this book, you will want to ask yours. I failed. You should not.

I can still so easily and vividly recall so much of my ‘teen-awkwardness’ and this book forced me to relive so many awkward and cringe-inducing moments through the lens of the author’s recollections. At times, it can be a tough read but, genuinely, it turned out to be a must-read for me.

Like the author, I was the ‘annoying little brother’ and I can wholeheartedly state that if you occupied that particular place in your family’s household, it will surely have prompted a lasting effect on your life. Every single one of us will obviously relate to our inter-personal family relationships that formed the basis of who we are. This book is a powerful reminder that we are all products of our upbringing and surroundings.

Speaking a little on the lighter side: colloquially, I ‘LOL’d’ at some of the authors humorous anecdotes. Who in their teens (or thereabouts) didn’t have “a silky-smooth Kojak of a pubic area?” I very much connected with the quote, “He’s looking to see if I have a brain”. Back in those distant days, I feel sure that many of us had our own crazed dentist from hell (skip this part if you have a pending appointment)

If this book was adapted into a screenplay for a movie, I strongly suspect that the studio and the producer would contrive several scenarios and turn them into alternative, perhaps even heroic-like endings…but that wouldn’t be real life; it simply wouldn’t convey the trauma of what actually happened and I’m pretty darn sure the author would have none of it.

The authors recollections imparted towards the end of the book fiercely invoked my own thoughts around personal contemplation and I learned something truly meaningful from the authors innate kindness. The unconditional benevolence he’s shown and given to others is something of a minor miracle considering his past. Having endured just some of these dreadful experiences coupled with the familiarity of years-long anxiety and trepidation, one of his latter reflections will always stay with me:

“it’s important to note my laughter served as a coping mechanism and shouldn’t be mistaken for genuine enjoyment.”

Regardless of your recollections of youth and family this is a book you should read.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Trew is not somebody you might be familiar with, but he’s certainly not a nobody either. As someone who has experience in social work and currently a dedicated investigator of abused and neglected children and youth, he has had a life filled with challenges from a young age. In this memoir he shares all about his struggles which started in Britain’s former Knoll School for boys where he was unwillingly educated in more than his fair share of life’s toughest survival lessons.

From playground bullies who violently forced students to play brutal Holocaust games of Nazi versus Jew, to near-murderous teachers (including an atheist Religious Knowledge teacher), it was survival of the fittest at the Knoll School. Almost nothing was taboo there, and Gary Trew takes the reader on this harrowing journey of the events that shaped him into the man he is today who has a passion to help youths who find themselves in similar or worse situations.

To be honest though, I was stunned by some of the revelations in this book. Students locking a teacher in a cupboard? How did they get away with it?! But then again, I had the same question about how it was even possible for teachers at the Knoll School to get away with belittling students and physically taking out their frustrations on them. Sure, it was the seventies; a time in which education and parenting was much different from what it is today. But it’s still a brutal read and probably not for those who have had severe trauma of any kind, or who are sensitive readers in general.

While reading The Hate Game, I certainly felt the frustration of how hard it must’ve been for the author as a young boy to be in a school environment where he didn’t feel safe. Even though it seems beyond belief, I’m well aware that to a certain extent, the horrors at the former Knoll School is still happening in some schools around the world, where figures of authority responsible for the safety and wellbeing of students are turning a blind eye, leaving the defenseless to fend for themselves.

However, as the author shares one traumatic event after the other, it’s not all bleak and hopeless. He infuses the narrative with self-deprecating humor and in almost every chapter I often laughed out loud. His mom is a gem though. Her flippant, inappropriate humor is an absolute riot.

Gary shares about falling in love for the first time, and hilariously details navigating puberty with the most unsuitable characters (including his mom) as role models. On the flipside he gets serious delving into his bouts of depression, near brushes with death, teenage rebellion, and a host of other life events that makes up this deeply intriguing memoir. Well-written and excruciatingly honest, Gary was a stranger to me at the start of the book whose childhood story I started reading out of curiosity, but by the end I felt fortunate to have witnessed a sensitive but talented boy grow into a well-respected functioning member of society, despite the many unfortunate challenges he faced in his young life, and who today is making a difference in the lives of those left powerless and without hope.

[Entrada Book Review · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence by Gary Trew is an emotional memoir of Trew's formative years, from eleven years old and into college years. Attending the Knoll School in the 1970s, Gary experienced a tremendous amount of bullying, abuse, and loss in the years spent at Knoll. Each experience formed his responses to the next and his responses to major life events unfolding in his home life.

The Knoll School was seemingly filled with bullies and abusers by Trew's account. It was not just the upperclassmen that were targeting younger, more vulnerable children, but also the teaching staff seemed to take a heavy hand with physical punishments and emotional/mental abuse. One of the recess games Trew and his younger classmates were forced to play was the hate game, where many other groups may have played cops and robbers, these boys were playing Nazi or Jew. Despite the protests of the children not wanting to play, the school staff did not intervene.

At home, Gary does not disclose the heinous acts occurring at the school. His father is ill, and his mother is doing her best to care for him, as well as Gary and his siblings. Like many children in the 1970s and 1980s, Gary was largely left as a latchkey child, responsible for getting himself to and from school via the bus and accustomed to having little oversight. Upon his father's return from the hospital, Gary notes how much has changed following his father's surgery to remove colon cancer. The experience of watching his father deteriorate and his mother and sister's response to the situation had a lasting impact on him. The emotional and psychological impact leaves Gary with an unhealthy fear of unlikely medical conditions.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress can present itself in different forms and levels of severity. Even now, my body responds to the lingering sensations of fear, anger, anxiety, and helplessness that I experienced. At that instant, my brain seemed to dismiss the importance of processing and comprehending the present as if it didn't matter. Legs, it's time to spring into action, I probably thought, feeling a surge of adrenaline as I prepared for the need for speed.

As Gary gets older, he develops his cricket skills, and a coach takes notice and is put in a vulnerable position again; luckily, he manages to avoid becoming prey to the coach, but the reluctance to trust has a lasting effect. The relationship between Gary and his mother is strained following his father's medical situation, but they eventually repair themselves as best they can.

In adulthood, Gary finally seems to come full circle and begin healing from the wounds of the past and is able to break the cycle of abuse and hate by resolving himself to begin truly living and discontinue his reckless tendencies. Trew was then able to make a lasting impact on those who were in similar circumstances from his own childhood. This is a tremendous memoir about the challenges of overcoming abuse, learning to love others, and, overwhelmingly, how to love yourself.

[Book Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence is an evocative memoir by Gary Trew that delves into the harrowing experiences of his youth at Knoll School for Boys in Hove, Sussex. Set in the 1970s, the book captures the brutal reality of a boyhood overshadowed by relentless bullying, a toxic school environment, and the enduring trauma that came with it. Trew narrates his story with a raw honesty that draws the reader into the bleak halls of "Knollditz," a nickname derived from the Nazi prison camp, revealing a world where survival often came at the cost of one's spirit.

The memoir's strength lies in Trew's ability to convey the sheer terror and helplessness of his formative years while maintaining a sense of dark humor and resilience. His writing is candid and unflinching, offering a vivid portrayal of a school culture that normalized violence and dehumanization. The chapter titled "Playground Holocaust," for instance, stands out for its disturbing recount of a ritualistic game where younger boys were subjected to mock concentration camp scenarios by their older peers. This chapter, among others, exemplifies the memoir's disturbing yet necessary exploration of the long-term effects of unchecked aggression and the failure of adults to protect the vulnerable. While Trew’s recounting of events is gripping, his writing includes richly detailed passages that enhance the vividness of his memories, adding depth to the narrative. These moments offer readers a more immersive experience, allowing them to fully engage with the story. His comparison of Knoll School to infamous historical sites like Auschwitz might seem jarring at first, but it effectively communicates the intensity of the fear and oppression he felt as a child. One of the most compelling aspects of the memoir is Trew’s reflection on the psychological impact of his experiences. He does not merely recount his past but also delves into the lasting scars it left on his psyche, demonstrating a deep understanding of trauma and its complexities. His ability to articulate the silent suffering of his youth, while also finding moments of hope and resistance, makes this memoir not just a story of survival but also a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence is a powerful and disturbing memoir that will resonate with anyone who has faced adversity or struggled to overcome the demons of their past. It’s a must-read for those interested in understanding the darker side of school life and the enduring impact of childhood trauma. Gary Trew’s story is a stark reminder of the importance of empathy, intervention, and the need to confront bullying in all its forms. This book is particularly recommended for educators, mental health professionals, and anyone interested in memoirs that explore personal resilience in the face of overwhelming odds.

[Peter · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of Gary Trew's memoir, The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence, as well as the short blurb (but not the longer description), implies a potential expose of a 1970s boys high school and a book of serial cruelty and hazing. While numerous incidents are described in detail, they are generally frontloaded and in the end do not dominate the book.

However, the direct and indirect accumulated effects on the author from six years at The Knoll School (nicknamed Knollditz, after a WWII POW camp in Germany) are evident, during that time and beyond. It's hard to say which was more damaging, the toilet terrors perpetrated by the students (sometimes to the teachers) or its tolerance by the instructors and administrators. In particular the Nazi themed anti-Semitic substance of much of it.

School isn't the only source of angst for young Gary. His family has its own quirks. Unlike at Knoll, where warmth and kindness are rare, there's plenty of it in the Trew family, with Gary having a healthy adoration of his father. But that doesn't make the family, nor Gary himself, immune from difficulties such as illness and death. Never mind the roller coaster that can be adolescent life including sports, as a promising cricketer, and, of course, girls.

Throughout, the author's sometimes uncomfortable honesty (bordering on TMI) is admirable. A balance of serious and humorous anecdotes ensures it never gets overly maudlin or silly.

I suspect the skewed emphasis (hype?) of the school terrors influenced my

reading for the first half. Not necessarily inhibiting but distracting from—as in awaiting the next evil incident—the broader personal story those who know Gary personally would appreciate more.

This exhibits a particular challenge that I think comes with writing memoir: straddling a line of writing for one's own, or for outsiders, each choice potentially satisfying one at the risk of putting off the other. And perhaps another line between those familiar with the times and setting and those removed.

The Hate Game doesn't always succeed in maintaining a consistent perspective in this regard, until its latter stages. Then the accumulation of episodic chapters coalesces to show how the boyhood experiences manifest into an adult life, resulting in a heartfelt reflection that's personal but also universal.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Reader Views · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this coming-of-age memoir, Gary Trew takes us through his agonizingly dark, albeit occasionally hilarious, journey at Knoll School. Known for its relentless bullying and tortuous punishments, the English all-boys school certainly lived up to its nefarious nickname, Knollditz. When thirteen-year-old Gary wasn’t getting his head dunked into toilets by the older students, being forced to play the “Holocaust Games,” or being caned by a teacher, he sought comfort in Hove, England, with his parents and sister, navigating boyhood in the 1970s. But would he make it through Knoll School unscathed?

Gary Trew paints a vivid picture of the harsh realities he endured at Knoll in “The Hate Game: Screaming in Silence.” Due to genetics and some severe bouts of pneumonia, Gary was on the scrawnier side, which made hiding from cruel bullies impossible. Gary describes the teachers as “turning a blind eye” to the abuse and using their own extreme discipline tactics. Despite home being a safe haven, grief struck Gary and his family hard, sending Gary into bouts of depression and rebellion. Strong themes of family, self-discovery, and grief fill the pages of this absorbing memoir.

Trew’s talent for recounting stories with humor will put a smile on any reader’s face. Between enduring the torture that was Knoll School and dealing with a few serious illnesses, his life was anything but easy. Still, Trew learned quickly that in order to survive his teenage years, he would need to be able to laugh (and fight back!) From the get-go, I rooted for this underdog who deserves the utmost respect for his determination and stealth for getting himself through (and out of!) some harrowing situations.

For readers who love memoirs, especially ones brimming with humor and grit, you won’t want to miss out on Gary Trew’s “The Hate Game: Screaming in Silence.” Gary certainly goes through his fair share of trials and tribulations, and you’ll be cheering for him every step of the way. From navigating the uncharted waters of grief, surviving the proverbial storm at school, and figuring out the opposite sex, this coming-of-age book has plenty of substance. It is clear that this memoir is a true labor of love; the emotional writing, with its no-holds-barred style, is engaging and from the heart—you won’t want to put it down!

[Sandra Banks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir reads like a slow-burning psychological portrait of what happens when a child is forced to grow up without safety. The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence is not simply a recollection of bullying; it is an examination of how fear shapes identity over time. Gary Trew captures the internal landscape of a boy navigating terror at school and instability at home with remarkable precision.

The Knoll School is depicted as an institution where abuse was systemic. The indifference of teachers, the cruelty of older students, and the normalization of violence create an environment where survival depends on adaptation. Trew shows how those adaptations; hyper-awareness, emotional detachment, reckless behavior become habits that persist into adulthood.

Yet this book never feels hopeless. Humor cuts through the darkness repeatedly, sometimes uncomfortably so. The laughter is not joy; it is armor. One of the most powerful aspects of the memoir is Trew’s explicit acknowledgment that humor served as a coping mechanism, not enjoyment. That honesty reframes every joke and makes the reader reconsider how often laughter hides pain.

Family plays a crucial role in the narrative. Home is not perfect, but it is human. The illness and death of his father are portrayed with restraint and emotional intelligence, showing how grief can quietly rewire a child’s sense of safety and responsibility. These experiences explain, rather than excuse, the struggles that follow.

By the final chapters, the memoir becomes reflective without becoming preachy. Trew’s choice to dedicate his adult life to protecting vulnerable children feels like a direct response to his own silence. This is not an inspirational memoir in the conventional sense, but it is profoundly meaningful. It reminds us that trauma does not vanish, but it can be understood, and understanding can lead to purpose. Big ups to the author on this one! A 5 star read indeed!

[S. Jeyran Main · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence is an enjoyable memoir by Gary Trew, detailing his turbulent childhood and the emotional toll of growing up in 1960s and 1970s Britain. Trew narrates his journey of survival, personal growth, and eventual transformation, offering readers a poignant account of his battle against school bullying, family dysfunction, and profound loss.

The story opens with a young, naive Gary preparing to attend Knoll School for Boys, where he is thrust into a brutal environment filled with bullying and abuse. The school’s notorious initiation, “D-Day,” and violent playground games set the stage for the torment he endures. The portrayal of his experiences, including the disturbing games of Jews versus Nazis led by school bully Mitch Skinner, is shocking and heart-wrenching, emphasizing the cruelty that defined his high school years.

As Gary’s home life crumbles under the weight of his father’s terminal illness, he seeks solace in cricket, only to have his hopes shattered by a trusted coach who betrays him in a horrifying act of abuse. Despite the overwhelming adversity, Gary’s story isn’t devoid of humor, as he shares comical tales of awkward teenage relationships, quirky teachers, and his mother’s unique sense of humor.

The memoir culminates in a deeply transformative moment for Gary, who, after suffering from meningitis, experiences a profound spiritual encounter. This pivotal experience changes the course of his life, helping him move beyond his past traumas and guiding him toward a career dedicated to protecting children from abuse.

In The Hate Game, Gary Trew offers a raw, emotional, and ultimately uplifting story of survival, healing, and personal growth. His memoir is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for transformation, even after experiencing life’s darkest moments.

[J. Wickham · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not Your Average Memoir!

I’ve read a handful of memoirs - mostly from celebrities or interesting figures of historical or cultural significance- and while their stories are always interesting, there’s usually very little relatable in them for me. I’m not a famed rockstar, don’t travel in limos on the regular, and I’m not a pop icon. Therefore, Mr. Trew’s tale “hit home” for me, not just because neither of us lived the rockstar life, but because he spins a narrative to which I believe everyone can relate.

There are painful moments we’ve all had, relationship challenges with family and others, friendships, and facing the tougher chapters in life - and Mr. Trew shares his own experiences with each of these wonderfully. Primary among them, which resonated most with me, was how he faced his childhood trauma and how he carried it with him into adulthood. Having grown up in the a similar period, the 70s, I could relate to some of the bullying that he experienced at the Knoll Boys school (but not even close to the level he did). The daily insults, the indifference of the adults who turned a blind eye, and the “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” attitude of those we turned to for help, desperate to escape.

I felt his trauma, the heaviness of that weight always dragging him down as he tried navigating through early adulthood, how it sabotages relationships and everything around you. But, I also know well the way in which he dealt with that trauma - humor and wit - which he intersperses throughout his story each time things seem to be at their darkest.

I won’t spoil the ending or what becomes of his battle with trauma, but suffice it to say, his story is a perfect example of the resilience of the human spirit. I am now a fan of memoirs of “everyday folks” and hope to find more like this one.

[Franca Kentus · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence is one of the most emotionally demanding memoirs I’ve read, and also one of the most rewarding. Gary Trew’s writing is unfiltered and unapologetic, pulling the reader into a childhood shaped by fear, humiliation, and loss. The Knoll School is not portrayed as a single villain, but as an ecosystem where cruelty thrived unchecked. The real horror is not just what happened, but how ordinary it was allowed to become.

Trew’s recollections of school life are disturbing, particularly the Nazi-themed games and the casual violence inflicted by both students and teachers. What makes these scenes so powerful is their matter-of-fact delivery. There is no melodrama. Just a child learning, day by day, that pain is inevitable and help is unlikely. That lesson follows him long after school ends.

At the same time, this book is unexpectedly funny. The humor is sharp, uncomfortable, and deeply human. Moments of adolescent awkwardness, inappropriate family banter, and sheer absurdity provide relief without ever trivializing the trauma. His mother, in particular, is unforgettable, offering both warmth and chaos in equal measure.

The emotional core of the book lies in its exploration of guilt and fear. Watching a young boy absorb his father’s illness, his mother’s strain, and the instability of his world explains so much about the anxiety and reckless behavior that follow. Trew does not excuse himself, but he helps the reader understand.

What stayed with me most was the ending. There is no dramatic redemption, but there is growth. The boy who once screamed in silence becomes a man who listens to others. That transformation feels authentic because the suffering is never minimized. This memoir is uncomfortable, honest, and deeply important.

[Liam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Open The Lie That Changed Everything and step into Gary Trew’s world of 1960s England. It’s like a old photo album come alive, full of sunny playground games and dark family secrets. Gary is the youngest kid in a house run by his RAF dad, a hero who guided planes through night skies in the war. Dad does not say much, but his eyes tell stories of close calls and quiet pride. The family laughs a lot to chase away the bad stuff. Gary’s birth was backwards and wild, earning him names like “blockhead.” His mom is a storm of love and fire. She checks on his bath time with bold questions and once storms the school to beat the teacher who beat her son. With the same stick. I laughed out loud at that.
Life is not all play. Gary’s grandma walked out on eleven kids, leaving a note that said she was done. That break left scars that show up in how the family loves, hard and close.

The heart of the book is one small lie Gary told as a boy. He promised on his dad’s life it was true, just to win an argument. When dad passes away too soon, Gary carries the weight, sure he brought bad luck. He looks back now with kind eyes, seeing how kids mix up magic thoughts with real fate. Funny bits pepper the pages, like “How did Dad know that man had a fuzzy back?” or calls to God for a “holy fire to cook them like Sunday dinner.” These keep the story light, even when it hurts.
In the end, Gary heals by telling his truth and helps others do the same.

This book hit home for me, thinking of my grandpa’s war tales mixed with family fun. It is raw and real, a reminder that humor glues us together when things fall apart. Pick it up if you want a story that makes you nod, giggle, and grow. It stays with you, like a favorite song.

[Rakhi (New Book Reviewer) · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would you do if your school life became a nightmare, and survival meant more than just fitting in?

The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence offers an unfiltered look into the relentless cruelty of bullying, while also showing how the strength of the human spirit can triumph against the odds.

I had always wondered why people wrote memoirs, but after reading this book, it became clear that some life stories are worth telling. I felt a similar connection after reading this book and must say the experience is beyond words.

This book is a powerful and emotional read. What I loved most was how it beautifully captured both the darkness of school life and the warmth of family love. The storyline is raw and real, making it hard to put down, as it effortlessly blends moments of intense pain with unexpected humor.

The author has done a brilliant job of telling a deeply personal and painful story, while still making it relatable to anyone who has faced adversity. The writing is simple yet profound, drawing readers in and making you feel like you're right there, experiencing every emotion alongside the author.

This book is a must-read for anyone who enjoys memoirs that are raw, emotional, and ultimately inspiring. I found this book to be a beautiful reminder of the resilience we all carry within us. It’s an incredible journey of transformation, and one I won’t soon forget.

The author’s storytelling ability is impressive, and I’m eager to see what the prequel be like. The author’s skill in balancing heartbreak with hope is what makes this book unforgettable.

Overall an inspiring and transformative read.

[Robert Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

What makes The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence so disturbing is not just the cruelty of children, but the complete failure of adults. Gary Trew paints a picture of a school system that did not merely overlook abuse but quietly endorsed it. The Knoll School becomes a place where fear is routine, humiliation is public, and survival depends on learning when not to speak.

The memoir’s strength lies in its clarity. Trew does not exaggerate or dramatize. He recounts events as they happened, letting the reader feel the cumulative damage of daily degradation. The Nazi-themed games, the physical intimidation, and the emotional manipulation are horrifying precisely because they are treated as normal by those in charge.

At home, the atmosphere is different but no less complex. His family provides warmth, humor, and connection, yet illness and loss erode any sense of stability. The slow decline and death of his father is written with restraint, allowing grief to seep into the narrative naturally. That grief compounds the fear already learned at school, shaping a child who feels responsible for everything and safe nowhere.

The humor scattered throughout the book is sharp and often uncomfortable. It never excuses what happened. Instead, it reveals how laughter becomes a defense, a way to survive moments that would otherwise be unbearable. Trew’s adult reflections tie these threads together, showing how trauma informs behavior long after the events end.

This memoir is difficult, honest, and essential. It forces readers to confront how easily institutions fail children and how long the consequences last. I highly recommend this and yeah it sure was a good read for me.

[Avira N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trew’s memoir, ‘The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence,’ is a powerful exploration of a childhood marked by bullying, identity struggles, and family dynamics. Through a first-person narrative, Trew invites readers into his emotional world, allowing them to witness the psychological impact of his formative years. The memoir is structured chronologically, detailing his journey from childhood through significant life events, which helps illustrate the evolution of his identity and resilience.

The book places significant emphasis on Trew’s time at Knoll School, where he faced relentless bullying that shaped his self-perception and future endeavors. This focus is crucial, as it lays the groundwork for understanding the challenges he later confronts. The author’s reflections on his family life, particularly the influence of his father’s health issues, add depth to his narrative, highlighting the interplay between personal and familial struggles. 

Trew’s writing is introspective, as he delves into his emotions and the broader societal issues of bullying and identity. His references to historical contexts, such as anti-Semitism and the Holocaust, further enrich the narrative. With raw emotional depth and a candid exploration of childhood trauma, this book resonates with contemporary discussions on mental health and resilience, making it a must-read for those seeking to understand the complexities of bullying, identity, and the enduring power of hope. A stunner.

[Milton John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Trew takes you by the hand in The Lie That Changed Everything and walks you through his boyhood like a chat over tea. It is 1960s Britain, with holidays full of rain and radio laughs. His dad, a war pilot who spotted targets from the tail, comes home to fix bikes and tell short tales of bombs and bravery. The house buzzes with teasing. Gary’s birth goes sideways, leading to lifelong ribs about his odd looks. Mom is bold as brass, shouting hygiene tips from the hall and marching to school for payback on a mean teacher. Using his own tool. That scene is pure gold.

Shadows fall too. Grandma bolts with a note saying she needs fun, leaving kids to fend alone. That wound shapes how they hold each other close. The story turns on Gary’s boyhood fib, a promise on dad’s life to dodge a scold. When dad leaves this world young, guilt crashes in like a wave. Gary sorts it out in these pages, gentle and true, explaining kid logic that sees curses in words. Wit saves the soul, with lines like “She wed a man like a pup with too many tails” or “Hey, nut sack boy.” They cut the heavy air.

Now a helper for the hurt, Gary shares to heal us all. It rang true for my own kin, where jokes bridged silent hurts. This memoir is honest food for thought, funny and deep. If you love tales of real roots, grab it. You will close it with a full heart and a soft smile.

[BooksCoffee · Rating 5 out of 5]

In his candid memoir, Trew offers a brutually honest account that lays bare the traumatic effects of childhood bullying and the complexities of identity.

Recounting his painful experiences at Knoll School, Trew details the relentless torment from classmates and a school culture that turned a blind eye. For him, surviving wasn’t just about fitting in—it was about holding onto any shred of dignity he could salvage. The cruel bullying and dehumanizing rituals at the school left deep emotional scars, which Trew vividly exposes, highlighting the lasting impact of such cruelty.

Despite the darkness, moments of joy and inner strength emerge, driven by the unwavering love of his quirky mother and cherished father. He also shares his journey of personal growth and self-discovery, emphasizing how literature became a source of comfort and understanding.

Trew’s writing is brutally honest, exposing the raw emotions and harsh realities of his past. He doesn’t shy away from painful truths, yet his narrative remains engaging, balanced with moments of humor and wit. A powerful and deep exploration of how strength can come from vulnerability.

[Spencer LaCouvee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A harrowing but profoundly inspiring story.

Bullying and adverse life experiences are rife whether you lived in the 1970s or more recently. This memoir shares similarities with memoirs like The Glass Castle and Educated. However, it's different in as much as this is the author's debut book, and he is now a social worker, not a journalist or an English professor. In Educated, Tara Westover had her head flushed in a toilet by her brutal brother. Trew shares the same ignominy, but he had it done at school by nasty bullies. Both are a product of 'loving' but dysfunctional families. In Glass Castle, Walls's family life is chaotic and, at times, almost reads as fiction. Ditto for Trew. Both authors appear at peace with their adult selves, so the overall reading experience has a positive vibe. In my opinion, The Hate Game is unique due to the author's dry and sardonic sense of humour and his eternal optimism. Honestly, the book left me moved, inspired, and uplifted. I found it challenging not to jump to the last chapter to learn how this once tormented but compassionate youth turned out. Without writing a spoiler, how his life (or brain) was 'rewired' was jaw-dropping. Great job!

[Amanda G · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Heart-Wrenching and Inspiring Journey


An honest emotional rollercoaster through the turbulent years of an11 year old adolescence in 1970s England. Trew's storytelling is both raw and captivating, painting a vivid picture of the relentless bullying and abuse he endured at Knoll Boys School.

What sets this memoir apart is Trew's ability to infuse his narrative with humor and resilience, despite the harrowing experiences he describes. His portrayal of family life, marked by love and dysfunction, adds depth and warmth to the story, making it relatable and deeply human.

The memoir is not just a recounting of past traumas but a testament to the indomitable human spirit. Trew's journey from a bullied boy to a resilient adult is inspiring and uplifting. His ability to find moments of joy and strength amidst the darkness is a beacon of hope for anyone facing similar challenges.

"The Hate Game" is a must-read for those who appreciate powerful, real-life stories of overcoming adversity. Gary Trew's memoir will leave you rooting for him, laughing with him, and ultimately, feeling inspired by his unbreakable spirit.

[Sophia Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Trew has written a memoir that is not only emotionally powerful but also exceptionally well crafted. From a technical standpoint, the book is clean, polished, and easy to read. I did not encounter grammatical mistakes or distracting errors, which allowed me to remain fully immersed in the story without interruption.

The pacing is excellent. Even when the narrative shifts between humor and darker moments, the transitions feel natural and controlled. Trew’s writing style is engaging without being overwhelming, and his sharp wit never overshadows the emotional truth of the story.

The author deserves praise for how accessible this memoir is. Despite dealing with trauma, guilt, and loss, the book never feels heavy-handed. Instead, it reads smoothly and confidently, a testament to both strong editing and a clear authorial voice.

I would recommend this book to fans of memoirs that combine humor with emotional honesty, as well as readers who appreciate well-structured, professionally written nonfiction. It’s particularly well suited for those who value storytelling that is both meaningful and enjoyable to read.

[Progress Wings · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Captivating Read

From the very first page, Gary's voice pulls you in—a mix of humor and heartbreaking honesty that captures the essence of a young boy grappling with a harsh reality. The vivid portrayal of his family's eccentricities, particularly the unwavering support of his loving mother and cherished father, provides a warm contrast to the cold cruelty of his school life. The moments of levity amidst the darkness highlight Gary's incredible spirit and his determination to find joy even in the most difficult circumstances.

The Hate Game is not just a memoir; it’s a celebration of resilience and the healing power of laughter and love. It invites readers to reflect on their own experiences and the ways in which we can uplift one another in the face of hate. This book will leave you rooting for Gary, laughing with him, and ultimately inspired by his unyielding spirit. A must-read for anyone who believes in the power of hope and the importance of standing tall against adversity.

Highly recommended!

[James Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a quiet strength in The Hate Game that I didn’t expect. While the subject matter touches on bullying and fear, the overall feeling of the book is one of resilience and care. Gary Trew writes with a calm, steady voice that feels reassuring, even when describing moments that are deeply uncomfortable. You can sense the author’s respect for his younger self and for the reader.

What I loved most was how human the story feels. There is no attempt to exaggerate or dramatize; instead, the book allows small moments; thoughts, reactions, emotions to carry meaning. The writing is smooth and polished, free from grammatical issues, which made the reading experience feel relaxed and immersive.

I would recommend The Hate Game to readers who appreciate memoirs that are reflective, heartfelt, and quietly uplifting. It’s a book for those who value emotional honesty and believe that telling the truth, gently, can be an act of healing. This is a story that stays with you not because it is loud, but because it is sincere.

[Lily Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

What makes The Hate Game so special is the care with which Gary Trew tells his story. This isn’t a memoir written to shock or accuse; it’s written to understand. There is a softness beneath the honesty, a clear sense that the author has done the difficult work of reflection and healing before putting his memories on the page.

I was moved by how naturally moments of humor and affection appear, even in chapters that describe fear or loneliness. Trew has a way of finding light without forcing it, allowing the reader to breathe between heavier scenes. His writing is clean, well-paced, and thoughtfully structured, which made the book a pleasure to read from start to finish.

I would happily recommend this book to readers who enjoy memoirs that feel personal and sincere rather than dramatic. It’s particularly well-suited for educators, parents, and anyone interested in understanding how compassion can grow out of hardship. The Hate Game doesn’t shout its message; it speaks gently, and that’s what makes it linger.

[Super*BETA*Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is a deeply moving account of Trew's harrowing experiences at Knoll School for Boys in the UK and his journey through the aftermath of those years. Although the book touches on heavy themes like dysfunctional families, bullying, and abuse, there are also some wonderfully funny moments. Reading about some of the abuse he faced from sadistic school bullies (and teachers who turned a blind eye) made me quite emotional. What makes these unimaginable events so engaging, and allows Trew to find a kind of grace even in the midst of suffering, is his unshakable wit and humor. Coping mechanism or not, he does a fantastic job of blending dark humor with poignant reflections, leaving readers both laughing at his quick wit and empathizing with his trials. Despite the adversity he faced, his story is one of hope, showcasing how he transformed his suffering into a source of strength and compassion that is evident in his role as a social worker, helping abused and neglected children and youth. Definitely worth a read for anybody who enjoys memoirs.

[M Khan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Heart-Wrenching yet Uplifting Memoir

I just finished reading "The Hate Game" and it left me feeling emotional and inspired.


Gary's story is about surviving school in 1970s England, but it's not just about bullying – it's about finding strength and hope.


What I Loved:

•⁠ ⁠Gary's honesty about his struggles is brave and heart-wrenching.
•⁠ ⁠His family's love and quirks made me smile.
•⁠ ⁠Gary's resilience inspires me to stay strong.

Gary faces relentless bullying at school, but at home, he finds love and support. Despite the pain, he discovers moments of joy and grows into a stronger person.

Final Thoughts:

"The Hate Game" is an amazing memoir that shows us the power of the human spirit. Gary's story will stay with me forever.


If you've faced bullying or struggle with hardship, this book will inspire you. It's a reminder that you're not alone and that love can overcome hate.


Read "The Hate Game" and be inspired by Gary's courage and resilience.

[Bronwyn Delaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

ary Trew tells his story as it is. Starting with his horrendous start at Knoll Boys School where daily harassment and cruel, mind affecting bullying seemingly went unnoticed by any teachers. Surviving this ritual everyday without telling family was quite an achievement, that normally would break anyone.

However, life just kept dealing him the worst nightmares, losing his very loved father while still young, a very promising future playing his one passion, cricket, is soon dashed because of one coach and even a new neighbour threatens his sanctity of home.

How does anyone keep going when seemingly everything is just turning to dust around you.

This story is truly a tale of real life for one man, his survival through some very dark times.

I did a couple of times lose track a little and felt the writing didn't keep me glued to every word, however, still a remarkably brave retelling of Gary's nightmare he starting living in the 70s.

[Mia Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir should be read by anyone who believes bullying is a phase or that children are resilient by default. The Hate Game: Screaming in the Silence demonstrates how institutional neglect magnifies harm and how silence becomes a learned survival skill.

Gary Trew’s account of school life exposes a system where abuse was normalized and authority was complicit. The emotional damage is slow and cumulative, shaping a child who learns to endure rather than resist.

Family life offers moments of warmth and humor, but also profound loss. The illness and death of his father deepen the emotional burden and explain the anxiety that follows him into adulthood.

What makes this book resonate is its honesty. There is no attempt to inspire through triumph. Instead, it offers understanding. Trew’s later work with vulnerable children feels earned, not symbolic.

This is a difficult book, but an important one.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Trew has written an excellent biography of his time at Knoll School for Boys, and the years following. His descriptive language brought the scenes he wrote about vividly to life, in all their pain and sadness, but also hilarity and sweetness. I think his writing is reminiscent of Road Dahl, a writer I admire and enjoy reading. A warning to those who have experienced bullying and/or abuse, there may be some triggering sections, as Gary endured both at the hands of some sadistic schoolmates. Ultimately, I hope people can connect with Gary via his story, and know that they are not alone. I also hope they find inspiration in how he has used those experiences to become the kind, helpful, compassionate and smart man he is - the experiences are not the master of the man. I recommend Gary's book, and am privileged to be one of the early readers. Well done, Gaz!

[Lorraine Carey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trew's narrative is both gripping and authentic, vividly capturing the unrelenting bullying and mistreatment he faced at Knoll Boys School. As a veteran teacher, I had to recount all those times I witnessed this sort of thing and felt a deep sadness for this boy.
What distinguishes this memoir is his remarkable ability to weave humor and resilience into his account, even in the face of his deeply challenging experiences. His depiction of family life—intertwined with love and dysfunction—brings richness and emotional tones to the story, making it relatable to readers.
"The Hate Game" is essential reading for anyone who values impactful, true stories about triumph over hardship. Gary Trew's memoir will have you cheering for him, enjoying his humorous events, and, feeling uplifted by his indomitable spirit.

[Donna Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

ENGLAND, 1970’S. Gary Trew grew up in a loving but dysfunctional home. At the age of 11 he began attending the Knoll Boys School. From the first day of school until his last day he was tormented with physical, emotional and verbal abuse. The abuse wasn’t limited from the upper class men, but also from angry teacher who participated in the terror or turned a blind eye when it ws happening. The school resembled a prison camp from the Holocaust. Gary carried this trauma in silence throughout most of his life and couldn’t function emotionally as a normal person. He was sick with menengit in his adult life and wasn’t properly treated which further complicated his life. For no known reason, something snapped and his brain corrected his problem and he was normal.

Gary has forgiven his abusers and spent time helping children who have suffered abuse.

Thank you Voracious Readers.

[Derek Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

A detailed & grim reflection of 1970s life in an all-Boys UK State run School:

First & foremost - I was at this school at same time as the author so can verify the authentic and often harrowing journey that he and many others went through.

The book offers an unflinching account of life at this school (Knoll) in the 1970s. I am sure that there were many schools like it at that time, so the experiences will resound with many who attended similar establishments.

Knoll, at that period, was a place defined by institutional neglect, violent initiation rituals and the pervasive presence of hate speech and right-wing ideology. The author (whom I also went to Primary School with which was a completely different experience) leads the reader through the harrowing journey of a young man navigating a dark school life, whilst also enduring other issues and pressures in his personal life.

The initiation rites are central to the book, (ducking first year students heads in toilets often flushing). This violence and degradation were an established part of the institution setting the tone for the social hierarchy and brutality which defined many pupils school experiences and shaping a generation of minds in troubling ways.

What makes this book a must read and so impactful is its accuracy. Whilst reading, I felt transported back to those years, with the atmosphere of the era the grim realities and dark humour all coming back to me.

A raw, disturbing yet necessary read whether you lived a similar experience or not, it offers a sobering glimpse into a dark chapter of UK educational history.

Buy it, read it, believe it as it did happen.