Unfit Parent (LARGE PRINT EDITION): A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World

by Jessica Slice

Navigating the joys, stigma, and discrimination of disabled parenting—and how the solutions offered by disability culture can transform the way we all raise our kids

In Unfit Parent, Slice debunks the exclusionary myths that deem disabled people “unfit” to care for their children, instead showing how disabled parents and disability culture provide valuable lessons for rejecting societal rules that encourage perfectionism and lead to isolation.

Combining her personal experiences with interviews, research-backed evidence, and disability studies, Slice shares insight into what the landscape is like for disabled parents—one that is scattered with unpredictable obstacles and inaccessible barriers. In overcoming these challenges, she describes how disabled parents are oftentimes more prepared to adapt to the demanding nature of parenthood, including the uncertainty of losing control over bodily autonomy.

Uplifting and powerful, Unfit Parent illuminates how disabled bodies and minds give us the hopeful perspectives and solutions we need for transforming a societal system that has left parents exhausted, stuck, and alone.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Disability, Memoir, Audiobook, Queer

505 pages, Paperback

Published April 15, 2025

Reviews

[Blair Hodges · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will change how you think about parenting forever, no matter how able-bodied you may be. As a disabled parent, Jessica Slice didn't want my pity or admiration. She wanted me to learn about the many obstacles people with disabilities face when they consider parenting, and how those obstacles make parenting harder for pretty much everyone. This book made me more determined than ever to help dismantle the unrealistic expectations that make raising kids difficult. I give this my highest recommendation.

[Isabelle Duchaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

very interesting and a very very welcome change from the typical parenting book. what I struggled with was the cumbersome in text references to other scholarly works, and the unanswered question of how J built such an incredible, fierce community. I firmly believe that friendship, neighbourhood and trust are the biggest answers to the challenge of the isolation of modern parenting. but HOW did she find her people, embrace them, and build such strong connections that they were such pillars during her motherhood.

there are also significant financial privileges - the friend that gifts them $$$ for a night nanny. which again, is phenomenal and something that non disabled people can access, but given the interesection between poverty and disability, I want to know more about these deep structural problems.

still happy to read it!!!

[Jenna Andre · Rating 5 out of 5]

(4.5 rounding up)

"One way to to describe ableism is that it's the lie that we can labor ourselves out of suffering."

I read this after listening to an excellent interview with the author on the Burnt Toast podcast. (Which I recommend, btw.) The author succinctly connects how capitalism fuels ableism in general and attitudes toward parenting and family specifically. She also provides examples of how individual creativity and mutual aid can help to fill in the gaps in our healthcare system/childcare "system"/etc. -- while still emphasizing the need for MASSIVE structural change. The chapter on CPS was particulary depressing.

This book was a litle long in the way pretty much all nonfiction tends to be, but there's a lot here to challenge popular misconceptions about what makes a good, competent parent. I consider myself firmly anti-ablism, and there were a few stories that *really* surprised me. Definite recommend.

[Alisha Linehan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important book. It will change how you think about disability, able-bodiedness, and parenting. It is at once insightful, broad, succinct, intellectual, personal, and heartbreaking.

[Nicole Hancock · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of this was a well framed discussion that allowed me to view things in a new light. She did a good job of weaving ableism with racism, sexism, capitalism and poverty, etc.

I wish she had cited other works less (started to feel like a graduate research paper) and delved into other areas more.

There was truly some horrific stuff in here that will stay with me. There is some stuff that is super cut and dried and other things that, to me, are more of a question of line drawing and not quite so black and white as the author may believe. Lots of food for thought.

[Stephanie Sabo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book taught me so much and I am better for reading it.

[Sabina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely necessary. So grateful that this work exists, and so grateful to fold its wisdom into my heartmind.

[Bookphile · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've stopped reviewing books and tracking my reads because the gamification of my reading was having negative impacts on my reading. Optimization culture had basically fully taken over my reading habits, and I didn't want that for myself because books have been so important to me for my entire life, and because reading was once one of my great pleasures. Disconnecting from the tracking and hyperfocus on hitting goals is helping bring me back to the way I used to feel about reading.

That said, I decided to give this book a rating and write a review because this book was so important to me. It may sound odd to draw links between my reading habits to what Slice is addressing in this book, but once you start thinking of how inextricably linked optimization is to capitalism, you can't stop seeing it everywhere you look. One of the core issues this book points out is how harmful the cult of optimization is to our culture precisely because it implies that everything is within our control and that if we are failing at something (our reading goals, parenting, maintaining out health), the problem lies with us as individuals and not with our larger cultural structures. That kind of thinking is exactly why we can't have nice things as a society. By convincing us to focus our blame and scrutiny on individuals, those in power with a vested interest in maintaining the status quo can continue to prop up the broken systems that don't serve the vast majority of us but do make the 1% incredibly rich and powerful.

Moreover, even though I myself am disabled, this book consistently shocked me by making me painfully aware of how deeply embedded my internalized ableism is. My thinking about disability has evolved over the years, so I was already on the path of believing that societal views of disability were actively harmful, but this book was really jarring in its clear-eyed portrayal of the deep, cruel, and alarming harms ableism prompts. Things are different now than they were in the past, but society still hasn't evolved all that much. It still looks at disabled people as somehow "broken", and implies that they need to "fix" themselves in order to be acceptable. As a society, we are so ill-equipped to adopt a clear-eyed view of what it might mean to broaden our view of humanity, and it renders us blind to the ways ableism hurts everyone. Because make no mistake, unless you fit into a vanishingly, punishingly narrow window of "acceptable" traits, many necessary elements of life (fair compensation for the work you do, access to health care, etc.) start to drift out of your reach. By perpetuating a narrative of personal responsibility, it becomes easy for our society to refuse to provide the things that would make the world a better place for us all, such as affordable housing, affordable health care, high-quality child care, etc.

What if, instead, as this book proposes, we envisioned life in different ways? What if we recognized the dignity of human beings simply because they're human beings? What if we accepted there is no way to be "normal" but instead a rich diversity of human experience exists? I fully agree with Slice that viewing the world through a disability justice framework does go a long way toward envisioning societal structures that would make life better for all humans.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really interesting, but also devastating.

Key takeaways:
No one in objective in the case of disability - being able-bodied does not give you the moral authority
Disabled parents handle the transition to parenthood better because they are already better at handling uncertainty and making sure their own needs are met in stressful situations. Pregnancy is often a person's first encounter with disability and bodily limitations
Fear of disability is a fear of needing more care/support
You can't effort your way into happiness/you can't buy it, either - perfectionism and capitalism do not benefit you
We may place blame on disabled people for not being able to navigate systems, but we're the ones who built exclusionary systems
It's hard for disabled people to complete programs to become doctors/social workers, etc and so those professions aren't equipped to work with disabled people and should not be making decisions about things like quality of life
Disabled parents are held to impossible standards, but their creativity and community building (that comes out of necessity) is inspiring.

[Kristi Kasper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an eye opening look at parenting through the eyes of a disabled mother, Jessica Slice. This book was illuminating in ways I didn’t expect. Jessica tells us that while disabled parents are better positioned to handle the challenges of parenting they face a greater likelihood of being challenged in terms of being fit to parent. In fact, Jessica points out that, in many states in the US it is actually legal to forcibly sterilize a disabled person and also to take a child away from a parent with a mental disability. I am not sure where the law stands in Canada but I am sure it is not as progressive as we imagine. Disabled people face insurmountable challenges when it comes to parenting but most of those come from living in a world rife with closed-mindedness and discrimination. Jessica makes the point that disabled people are uniquely positioned to parent as they come to it with a lot of resiliency, creativity, the ability to overcome challenges and face difficulties. Parenting is hard but having a disability means you have experience handling hard.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up. This book tries to be a lot of things—a memoir of what it’s like to be a disabled parent with POTS, a recap of interviews with parents with a variety of disabilities, and a survey of the way disability is navigated by social services/healthcare/the law. I think it partially succeeds at most of these goals. I enjoyed the memoir parts, though the author redacts a lot of content in service of her family’s privacy that sometimes made things harder to follow. The stories from other disabled parents were really interesting though a little sparse. It felt like she talked to 5 families, but I’d expect a book like this to have a little more scale. The commentaries on society were good but not necessarily groundbreaking. I did appreciate the chance to learn more about POTS, which I didn’t know much about before reading this book.

[Maggie Carr · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an accessibility advocate, anything that can help me broaden my perspective to include more and more people is a good thing. I learned a lot in this book about varying types of wheelchair users, and the lack of universal design in so many items available on the market today. We, humans, can do better. I think, like mental health, speaking about and to benefit all accessibility, too, can lose its taboo.

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

So illuminating of injustice and sad for that reason. Yet hopeful and encouraging!! One of the best and most unique books on motherhood/ parenting I've read so far. Will stick with me

[L L · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slice is a compelling writer-- weaving her own experiences, those of other disabled parents, and research, to illustrate the pervasiveness of ableism in our society-- that disabled lives are seen as less worthy, less valuable, and the presumptions that people who are disabled are less happy and satisfied.

Slice writes about the decision to parents, the first week of having a newborn, ongoing parenting, and navigating the medical and child protective system. I especially loved the chapter on how disabled parents are especially adept to navigating parenthood, given their experience with limitations, lack of control, and need to rely upon others. The chapters on disabled parents navigating the judgments of the medical establishment and child protective services was a valuable glimpse at the sobering reality of our ableist systems and biases.

[Madysen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunning, thoughtful, exceedingly well reported, and a book every single living human ought to read.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a disabled parent, I annotated about half this book! It's both validating and infuriating in its look at how ableism harms disabled parents and the disability community as a whole. I highly recommend this book to disabled and non-disabled readers alike.

[Jule DeJager · Rating 5 out of 5]

The ingenuity and courage that Jessica Slice brings to parenting is a model for all persons who take on the difficult work of shepherding chidlren in this chaotic universe.
She shares not only her story, but a deeply researched perspective on how our culture is failing families and offers, though her own experience as a disabled parent, ways we can all grapple with and sometimes overcome society's limits.
This book will surprise you with its joy and exuberance. It will sober you with its truth and authenticity.

[Kelsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book! And should be mandatory reading for just about everyone. Especially parents but also any healthcare provider. Really appreciated her insights, vulnerability and research she did for this book.

[Kara Ayers · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a disabled parent, I am profoundly grateful this book exists. Reading "Unfit Parent" felt like encountering a mirror that reflected experiences I've lived but rarely seen articulated with such clarity and courage.
While many of the author's experiences resonated deeply with my own parenting journey, I was struck by the unique challenges Slice and other parents with different (from my own) disabilities navigate—particularly around disclosure decisions that highlight the complexity of disabled identity. The question of whether to bring one's wheelchair, for instance, illuminates how some disabled parents must constantly weigh visibility, accessibility, and social perception in ways that nondisabled parents (or parents who use wheelchairs full-time) rarely consider. These moments reveal the exhausting calculus of existing in a world not designed for us while trying to advocate for our children.
The author's thoughtful exploration of adoption particularly moved me, as it mirrors the complexity our own family has navigated. There's something powerful about seeing these layered experiences—disability, parenthood, and family formation—examined with such nuance and honesty.
My primary criticism is that I wanted more. The book felt too brief for the vast territory it covers. Each chapter left me hungry for deeper exploration of themes that deserve expanded treatment.
Perhaps the book's greatest strength lies in its fundamental reframing of parenthood itself. Rather than simply advocating for disabled parents' rights to exist in parenting spaces, it demonstrates how ableism diminishes all parents—disabled and nondisabled alike. By challenging narrow definitions of "good parenting" and "normal families," the author reveals how anti-ableist approaches could benefit every parent struggling against impossible standards and rigid expectations.
This book doesn't just argue for inclusion; it argues for transformation. It shows us that dismantling ableism isn't charity toward disabled parents—it's liberation for all families trying to thive in a system that demands conformity over authenticity.
"Unfit Parent" is essential reading not just for disabled parents seeking recognition, but for anyone invested in creating more expansive, compassionate understandings of what families can be.

[Dest · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for Summer Book Bing category Disability.

This book is doing a lot of things. First, it's arguing that disabled parents are good parents. (Maybe even better than non-disabled parents.) There is much praise heaped on the flexibility, practicality, creativity, and chill vibes of disabled parents.

It's also about how hard parenting is in general because of perfectionism and individualism and capitalism.

This book is also about how healthcare in the US sucks. This part of the book reminded me of The Lady's Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness.

This book is also about how disabled parents are more at risk of having their babies taken away by the state. This part of the book is very sad.

And this book is also about how ableism is pervasive and bad.

There wasn't a lot in this book that was new to me. I liked the specific examples of how some parents took care of their kids in innovative ways. I admit I have felt like it would be terribly difficult to have a serious disability, but if I got a tattoo I’d probably get “nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so”. I read a book about happiness many years ago that was about how bad people are at predicting what will make them happy. I remember one example was that people predict having a child with a disability will decrease their happiness but it actually increases happiness for a variety of reasons (sense of purpose, strong community, wider perspective).

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those rare books that I wish I could compel every person to read. In telling the story of her own and others' disabled parenting experiences, she is not only showcasing the way that our society and our structures are biased against those with disabilities, but she's also making it clear how modern parenting is impossible for everyone without support. Yes, disabled parents need support to be able to parent effectively... but so do we all! And the more your life circumstances and identities align with privilege, the more likely you are to have access to that support, but that doesn't mean that it's easy for anyone in this culture that prioritizes and rewards independence over having needs. Through a combination of personal stories, interviews, and research, Slice clearly and concisely lays out her key points. Be aware that there are some quite upsetting stories about the way disabled folks have been treated by the medical and child welfare systems. But those realities are important for anyone not yet aware to understand. Highly recommended!

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not a parent, nor am I disabled, and I feel like this book was written just for me. Disability rights have largely been overlooked in my self-directed political education, so Jessica Slice’s examination of why able-bodied people tend to shy away from confronting ableism made complete sense. An unconscious but driving fear of death, a shying away from the precarity of life, a cultural overemphasis on productivity and success in narrowly defined terms…

I was gutted by some of the stories she shared about herself and other disabled people who are treated as sub-human by doctors, legal professionals, and governmental organization- even to the point of death!

Two main takeaways from this book are the creativity of disabled people in adapting to an inaccessible world, and how perceptions of quality of life are entirely subjective and that disabled people are MORE likely to be happy than non-disabled people. Oh, and mutual aid networks are alive and thriving in disability spaces! Very cool.

[Mallika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hit me in a way I did not know as possible. Being a parent of an almost 5 year-old, and getting into a spinal cord injury when he was three… it felt like this book in a lot of ways was written for parents like me. If I hadn't been spinal cord injury Survivor this book may not have hit me the way it did.

As a new disabled mother, this book related in a lot of ways that made me realize how inaccessible this world is and how people don't always appreciate the hard work that we do to make sure that we can do it for our children. That even though every day is a struggle that we still know that we can do it.

Without giving too much away, this book needs to be read not only by the disabled community but by everyone who's wants to be a parent. Not only does it talk about the struggles with an injury that makes a person disabled and how hospitals treat us like we are unworthy but it also talks about the importance of support needed for both disabled and able-bodied people. This topic is something that does not get talked about enough and needs to be.

[Li · Rating 3 out of 5]

Went much shorter on parenting than I expected, and longer on other topics I've explored previously (ableism in culture/law enforcement/healthcare and internalized ableism). As a result, I found myself mmhmm-nodding along to most of the book, but a few chapters did hit more of what I was looking for: personal insights into parenting as someone who happens to be disabled. I'm fairly new to parenting myself, so I'm very curious about how other people in the U.S. tackle something so monumentally difficult, in all the beautiful and diverse ways we love (and sometimes despair of) our kids and how individual identities and circumstances influence that journey. If you're newer to the ideas of ableism in society, the whole book might feel more eye-opening. But specific observations about parenting takes a backseat to the admittedly more urgent, but much broader, topic of systemic injustice against disabled people.

[Hailey Stalter · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF around 80% - I found it really difficult to connect to the material. To give some background I have POTS, auDHD, HEDS, adenomyosis/PCOS, and MCAS, so I can no longer work and have had to scale back my life drastically in the last 10 years. I went into the material really hoping I'd find more ideas as far as how to parent more effectively while working within my means, or suggestions for how to beat the guilt and sorrow that's stemmed from my conditions. A lot of the takeaway here for me was "everything is really bad for the less abled, here's some horror stories to prove that". I don't think that overall it's a bad book. I think that for people who aren't intimately aware of the disabled/chronic illness experience this would be a good read. For me, who has lived these experiences for so much of my life, it's a bit overwhelming and starkly depressing, and that's why I couldn't finish it.

[Patrick Hanlon · Rating 5 out of 5]

An impactful, necessary book that details the challenges of all parents, but particularly those who have disabilities. Slice tells the story of her experiences -- not battles, she would clarify -- as a disabled parent and cites a detailed account of the ways in which the rights and well being are undermined by society and bureaucratic policies which includes, in 22 American states, the state power to remove children from disabled parents because they are disabled. The book is at times infuriating as Slice details the policies, the science and the experiences of disabled parents who are scrutinized more than most for their ability to parent autonomously, though the reality is that none of us can really do this independently. Worth reading regardless of your sense of ability and normalcy.

[Jodie Siu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tremendously thought - provoking and challenging. Slice recognizes "Sometimes, bodies change." It's a lesson that we all need to heed and expect.

She writes: "Grief and loss are disappointment are brutal and often lonely. But in my experience, it's the worry that I could have done something to change the outcome that becomes quicksand. time does not heal the wounds we continue to give ourselves." How profound - for all of us, regardless of the situation.

I loved the illumination of the creativity, practicality, and acceptance of one's reality as characteristics of many disabled folks. These are traits we can all use, especially as parents.

The descriptions of interactions with the Child Protection and medical systems are heartbreaking. We must do better.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heard this author on the Slight Change of Plans podcast and knew I needed to read her book. This book not only tells the author’s story of becoming disabled as an adult, but also the pervasive beliefs and discrimination surrounding the disabled as parents. But—what struck me the most in this finely researched and well written book was the exploration of ableism in all its forms. Society has given us a narrative throughout time of the majority, healthy body and mind as right and best. It’s a challenge to this story that we accept the minority bodies equally able to have a quality life, including having and caring for children without barriers to understanding and care. I found myself very affected and challenged by this book. It gave me so much to think about.

[Eliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Words cannot adequately describe what it felt like to read this book. It is so important, for disabled and nondisabled, parents and nonparents alike. As a nondisabled person who deeply wants to be a gestational parent, this book helped me feel more prepared for parenthood than almost anything else I've read. The way that Jessica Slice writes is concise and profound, while still be accessible. She touches on many topics that are hard and heartbreaking to read, but, again, so deeply important. I want to make every person I know read this!!!

[Angela K]

My kids are adults and I wasn't disabled when they were babies, but I still got a lot out of this book in general. Like the author, it took years from when I became disabled to when I admitted it to myself and others. So much internalized ableism, and still more I need to unlearn.

It's also distressing to read how much disabled parents are discriminated against and how easy it is for disabled people in general to lose their rights and their lives because society deems them (us) not valuable. I recommend this to anyone wanting to read more about disability experiences, parent or not.