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Karen: A Brother Remembers
On July 1, 1975, Kelsey Grammer's younger sister, 18-year-old Karen Grammer, was raped and murdered—now, for the first time, Kelsey discusses how it has affected him and the hope and healing he has found in the decades since.
Karen by Kelsey Grammer delves into the deeply personal and tragic story of the author's sister, Karen, who was brutally murdered at the age of 18. Kelsey was just 20 years old and studying theater at Juilliard in New York when his younger sister, a recent high school graduate, moved to Colorado Springs, where she was kidnapped by several men who had intended to rob the Red Lobster where she worked. They instead kidnapped Karen, raped her repeatedly, and ultimately stabbed her to death.
Through this memoir, Grammer poignantly recounts the memories of his sister and the impact her loss had on his life and family. With raw honesty, Grammer explores the profound grief and devastation that followed Karen's death, as well as the long and arduous journey toward healing. He bravely confronts the pain of losing a loved one to senseless violence, offering readers a glimpse into the complexities of coping with such a profound loss.
Karen also serves as a testament to Grammer's resilience and determination to transform tragedy into a source of inspiration and empowerment. In sharing his story, Grammer aims to help others who have experienced similar loss, offering them solace and encouragement on their own paths toward healing.
Karen is not merely a memoir of loss, but a powerful testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit and the capacity for hope in the face of such overwhelming and devastating loss. This book is a moving tribute to a life cut tragically short, a testament to the enduring bond between siblings, and a message of hope at a time when we need it the most.
Karen by Kelsey Grammer delves into the deeply personal and tragic story of the author's sister, Karen, who was brutally murdered at the age of 18. Kelsey was just 20 years old and studying theater at Juilliard in New York when his younger sister, a recent high school graduate, moved to Colorado Springs, where she was kidnapped by several men who had intended to rob the Red Lobster where she worked. They instead kidnapped Karen, raped her repeatedly, and ultimately stabbed her to death.
Through this memoir, Grammer poignantly recounts the memories of his sister and the impact her loss had on his life and family. With raw honesty, Grammer explores the profound grief and devastation that followed Karen's death, as well as the long and arduous journey toward healing. He bravely confronts the pain of losing a loved one to senseless violence, offering readers a glimpse into the complexities of coping with such a profound loss.
Karen also serves as a testament to Grammer's resilience and determination to transform tragedy into a source of inspiration and empowerment. In sharing his story, Grammer aims to help others who have experienced similar loss, offering them solace and encouragement on their own paths toward healing.
Karen is not merely a memoir of loss, but a powerful testament to the enduring strength of the human spirit and the capacity for hope in the face of such overwhelming and devastating loss. This book is a moving tribute to a life cut tragically short, a testament to the enduring bond between siblings, and a message of hope at a time when we need it the most.
384 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 6, 2025
978 people are currently reading
6332 people want to read
About the author
Kelsey Grammer
14 books92 followersAllen Kelsey Grammer is a five-time Emmy- and two-time Golden Globe-winning American actor best known for his two-decade portrayal of psychiatrist Dr. Frasier Crane in the NBC sitcoms Cheers (nine years) and Frasier (eleven years). He was nominated for Emmys for playing his character on three different sitcoms (the third being a guest appearance on Wings). He has also worked as a television producer, director, writer, and a voice artist.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 353 reviews
March 13, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I will probably be in the minority but I had a hard time getting through this book. It's beautifully written and I'm sure most people will love it. But I don't know if it's my ASD or what but the storyline was too all over the place. I can tell that Kelsey has worked through a lot while writing this book. His sister's murder is a huge tragedy and he doesn't hold back his feelings for how his life has gone since the murder.
I will probably be in the minority but I had a hard time getting through this book. It's beautifully written and I'm sure most people will love it. But I don't know if it's my ASD or what but the storyline was too all over the place. I can tell that Kelsey has worked through a lot while writing this book. His sister's murder is a huge tragedy and he doesn't hold back his feelings for how his life has gone since the murder.
May 5, 2025
⭐️⭐️ 2/5 Stars (Meh)
Setting: Colorado
Genre: Memoir
As someone who also lost a loved one (not to murder but to a drugged drunk driver), I approached Karen by Kelsey Grammer with deep empathy and a personal connection to the pain of such a loss. I genuinely wanted to find comfort, shared understanding, or even inspiration in these pages. What I found instead was a raw but disjointed narrative that ultimately left me more unsettled than uplifted.
Grammer’s grief is unmistakable, and his love for his sister Karen radiates through every memory he shares. The tragedy of her brutal death is impossible to ignore, and his willingness to revisit those darkest of days takes courage. However, the book often feels less like a memoir and more like a cathartic outpouring of unresolved trauma—unfiltered, wandering, and, at times, weighed down by bitterness.
The heart of the problem lies in its spiritual emptiness. While Grammer touches on faith, the book offers little in the way of genuine hope or redemption. It reads more as the lament of a man drowning in grief, still searching for healing decades later but seemingly unwilling to surrender to the one Source of true peace. His refusal—or inability—to forgive keeps the wound open, and instead of modeling recovery, it often feels like he’s reinforcing despair.
Karen may resonate with readers who need to know they’re not alone in their suffering, but for those seeking healing or spiritual grounding, it offers little direction. In the end, the love is real, the pain is palpable—but the healing feels frustratingly out of reach. #netgalley #karen #booked_this_weekend
Setting: Colorado
Genre: Memoir
As someone who also lost a loved one (not to murder but to a drugged drunk driver), I approached Karen by Kelsey Grammer with deep empathy and a personal connection to the pain of such a loss. I genuinely wanted to find comfort, shared understanding, or even inspiration in these pages. What I found instead was a raw but disjointed narrative that ultimately left me more unsettled than uplifted.
Grammer’s grief is unmistakable, and his love for his sister Karen radiates through every memory he shares. The tragedy of her brutal death is impossible to ignore, and his willingness to revisit those darkest of days takes courage. However, the book often feels less like a memoir and more like a cathartic outpouring of unresolved trauma—unfiltered, wandering, and, at times, weighed down by bitterness.
The heart of the problem lies in its spiritual emptiness. While Grammer touches on faith, the book offers little in the way of genuine hope or redemption. It reads more as the lament of a man drowning in grief, still searching for healing decades later but seemingly unwilling to surrender to the one Source of true peace. His refusal—or inability—to forgive keeps the wound open, and instead of modeling recovery, it often feels like he’s reinforcing despair.
Karen may resonate with readers who need to know they’re not alone in their suffering, but for those seeking healing or spiritual grounding, it offers little direction. In the end, the love is real, the pain is palpable—but the healing feels frustratingly out of reach. #netgalley #karen #booked_this_weekend
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May 2, 2025𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓸 𝓝𝓮𝓽𝓰𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓚𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓮𝔂 𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓬!
Oh my goodness… I have no words.
*Note: I do not rate non-fic books, especially about peoples lives.
Oh my goodness… I have no words.
*Note: I do not rate non-fic books, especially about peoples lives.
April 27, 2025
I love Kelsey Grammer's acting and especially his voice, so I jumped at the opportunity to both learn more about his life story and hear his narration.
Unfortunately, this is a sad, dark story of a tragic part of his family's history- the brutal murder of his 19 year old sister Karen.
I can handle a heavier story, but this retelling was just too gruesome for me. It's admirable of Kelsey to face this story in such a brave way, but I just couldn't listen any longer. I only made it 7% of the way through the book before I had to quit.
The other part of this book that really bothered me is that the story is not told in a linear fashion, but in a stream of consciousness/recollection that bounces all over the place. He goes from 8 to 18 to 10 to present day and everywhere in between. He uses first names for everyone in his life (teachers, friends, grandparents, etc) so it's really hard to keep track of characters.
Sorry Kelsey, I wanted to love this one, but I just couldn't do it. Your voice as the narrator is probably the only part of this book I found tolerable.
Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC audiobook in exchange for an honest review.
Unfortunately, this is a sad, dark story of a tragic part of his family's history- the brutal murder of his 19 year old sister Karen.
I can handle a heavier story, but this retelling was just too gruesome for me. It's admirable of Kelsey to face this story in such a brave way, but I just couldn't listen any longer. I only made it 7% of the way through the book before I had to quit.
The other part of this book that really bothered me is that the story is not told in a linear fashion, but in a stream of consciousness/recollection that bounces all over the place. He goes from 8 to 18 to 10 to present day and everywhere in between. He uses first names for everyone in his life (teachers, friends, grandparents, etc) so it's really hard to keep track of characters.
Sorry Kelsey, I wanted to love this one, but I just couldn't do it. Your voice as the narrator is probably the only part of this book I found tolerable.
Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC audiobook in exchange for an honest review.
April 27, 2025
This memoir broke me—and healed me. Kelsey Grammer’s story about his sister is one I’ll never forget.
Raw, heartbreaking, and deeply personal, Karen is Kelsey Grammer’s tribute to his sister, who was tragically murdered at 18. With unflinching honesty, he shares the pain, grief, and healing journey that shaped the rest of his life. This memoir is both a powerful story of loss and a moving reminder of the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a gut-wrenching yet hopeful tribute to sibling love and survival through unspeakable tragedy. A story of pain, resilience, and the kind of love that doesn't fade with time. This one will stay with me.
#Karen #NetGalley
Raw, heartbreaking, and deeply personal, Karen is Kelsey Grammer’s tribute to his sister, who was tragically murdered at 18. With unflinching honesty, he shares the pain, grief, and healing journey that shaped the rest of his life. This memoir is both a powerful story of loss and a moving reminder of the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a gut-wrenching yet hopeful tribute to sibling love and survival through unspeakable tragedy. A story of pain, resilience, and the kind of love that doesn't fade with time. This one will stay with me.
#Karen #NetGalley
May 8, 2025
*Audiobook via Spotify Premium*
Please take this review with a grain of salt as I DNF’d this book at 16%.
This story is heartbreaking. Kelsey Grammar and his family suffered from a unimaginable loss when his sister was kidnapped, violated and murdered. While I love Kelsey’s voice and the emotion that comes through… it was too much. The book feels so scattered. He decides to write the book on a backwards timeline starting from Karen’s murder and working his way back to when they were younger. There was too much emotion. I know it’s personal, a real story - a tragic one at that - and clearly it still impacts Kelsey but he is crying in almost every two sentences or gets choked up and then tells himself to “stop. Get it together. This is about Karen.” And then you expect him to go into some profound realization with the style of writing or his voice but then he talks about how she’s with him and he hears her still but in a way that is not comforting to the reader. He talks about random people in random memories, not having to do with Karen. And it feels more of a reflection of his life or memories around that time of his life, than an honoring of remembering Karen.
I feel terrible sounding and feeling so judgemental about someone’s grief but it impacts the book too much. It reads as if it’s his diary during that time - so scattered around, vs a final draft of a book, as well as stories revolving around him. Not necessarily Karen and him or how he impacted her life. He touches on that and then is pulled in another direction by thoughts or by “Karen directing him.”
I also did not appreciate the way he talked about women in this book. He mentioned that a professor or teacher in school, had a large bosom and her high collared tops fit very nice, or how to be around good looking women was enough (like they were creatures just around) or how he only played with this (soon to be) friend because he had a crush or thought his sister was beautiful. He would sound like he was apologizing or saying that these are the memories of an adolescent boy or boyhood at the time and he doesn’t mean anything by them but I kept thinking-“what does talking about his teachers well-endowed chest have to do with his sister? His schooling? His life? Did it contribute to the story in anyway?” No. It didn’t! He just keeps mentioning things like that with no lesson learned or reflection beyond “those are my memories at that time in my life.” Were you describing your teacher because….? Why? Did she have an impact on your learning? What does that have to do with her breasts? What does being near good looking women have to do with the relationship you were in at the time, memories with your grandfather or family move to Florida? The description of women in this way is so irrelevant to this story or stories he is sharing (real events - I don’t want to lose sight of that), where I found myself so uneasy listening to it.
I went “do I really want to spend my 15 audiobook hours on Spotify this month listening to this where I’m uneasy and don’t enjoy this book?” No I don’t. I need to think of my life in that way with time so valuable. So I DNF’d. Unfortunately.
Please take this review with a grain of salt as I DNF’d this book at 16%.
This story is heartbreaking. Kelsey Grammar and his family suffered from a unimaginable loss when his sister was kidnapped, violated and murdered. While I love Kelsey’s voice and the emotion that comes through… it was too much. The book feels so scattered. He decides to write the book on a backwards timeline starting from Karen’s murder and working his way back to when they were younger. There was too much emotion. I know it’s personal, a real story - a tragic one at that - and clearly it still impacts Kelsey but he is crying in almost every two sentences or gets choked up and then tells himself to “stop. Get it together. This is about Karen.” And then you expect him to go into some profound realization with the style of writing or his voice but then he talks about how she’s with him and he hears her still but in a way that is not comforting to the reader. He talks about random people in random memories, not having to do with Karen. And it feels more of a reflection of his life or memories around that time of his life, than an honoring of remembering Karen.
I feel terrible sounding and feeling so judgemental about someone’s grief but it impacts the book too much. It reads as if it’s his diary during that time - so scattered around, vs a final draft of a book, as well as stories revolving around him. Not necessarily Karen and him or how he impacted her life. He touches on that and then is pulled in another direction by thoughts or by “Karen directing him.”
I also did not appreciate the way he talked about women in this book. He mentioned that a professor or teacher in school, had a large bosom and her high collared tops fit very nice, or how to be around good looking women was enough (like they were creatures just around) or how he only played with this (soon to be) friend because he had a crush or thought his sister was beautiful. He would sound like he was apologizing or saying that these are the memories of an adolescent boy or boyhood at the time and he doesn’t mean anything by them but I kept thinking-“what does talking about his teachers well-endowed chest have to do with his sister? His schooling? His life? Did it contribute to the story in anyway?” No. It didn’t! He just keeps mentioning things like that with no lesson learned or reflection beyond “those are my memories at that time in my life.” Were you describing your teacher because….? Why? Did she have an impact on your learning? What does that have to do with her breasts? What does being near good looking women have to do with the relationship you were in at the time, memories with your grandfather or family move to Florida? The description of women in this way is so irrelevant to this story or stories he is sharing (real events - I don’t want to lose sight of that), where I found myself so uneasy listening to it.
I went “do I really want to spend my 15 audiobook hours on Spotify this month listening to this where I’m uneasy and don’t enjoy this book?” No I don’t. I need to think of my life in that way with time so valuable. So I DNF’d. Unfortunately.
April 29, 2025
I had such high hopes for this audiobook. Kelsey Grammer's voice made for an excellent narrator. I was very intrigued by the story of his sister, Karen's murder. However, this story is a mess that felt like a brain dump rather then a novel. Grammer does an amazing job of describing some harrowing events in his life. His sister's murder and other life changing events were an easy listen. What was difficult is the 70% of this book that was basically a nonlinear, rambling story. Grammer mentions several times that he isn't thinking through what he was writing, and it shows.
I am grateful to Netgalley for the ARC of this audiobook. I sadly do not recommend this book, it was very hard to make it through this 13 hour book.
I am grateful to Netgalley for the ARC of this audiobook. I sadly do not recommend this book, it was very hard to make it through this 13 hour book.
September 26, 2025
This book felt to me like a giant stream of consciousness. It went from one time period to another, one subject to another... many of which had nothing to do with his sister or how he felt about his sisters murder (how many times did we need to hear about this beautiful woman or that he doesn't kiss and tell, while he's doing just that?). I was really looking forward to reading this memoir, and was sadly left disappointed.
April 24, 2025
This book felt less like telling Karen’s story and more about Kelsey commenting on women’s bodies. I really wanted to like this but it felt icky.
June 3, 2025
First, I will start off saying that I am a huge fan of Kelsey Grammer, so that will impact my review. If you are a fan of Kelsey Grammer, I think this is a great book to understand him, his sister, his life, and his mind and heart better. Let me also state, I don't know that this would be a good book to read, but it is an amazing one to listen to. I listened to the audio and absolutely loved it.
Before writing my review, I did read some of the other reviews, especially those with low ratings, and I was very surprised by the reviews, especially by those who listened to the audiobook like I did. The audiobook is the best because it is read by the author and he has the most amazing voice in general, but when you hear him tell the story there is so much more to it.
I am going to address some of the issues other readers had with the book: First, some did not like the writing style. Personally, I loved it. It was conversational. If you want to feel like you are listening to Kelsey talk about his sister and his life, this is the book for you. You almost feel like you are listening to a friend. Some didn't like that it was not in chronological order, but again, it is conversational, and it is told in a very conversational way. I liked when he would mention something and then come back to it, that happens with friends. You might hear the same story again, each time there is a new facet to the story.
Some people also said that he didn't talk enough about his sister with one reviewer saying that he should have called the book "Kelsey." Ouch. I think that it does talk quite a bit about his sister and his love for her. There is not a single minute of this book where you cannot feel the love he has for his sister and the grief he has felt every day since she was killed. If only we could all be loved so much.
Others said that he either focused too much on spirituality and religion and others said it wasn't enough. I thought it was raw and real. He talked about his Christian beliefs while also seemingly contradicting them while talking about speaking to a medium who said she could contact Karen. I think this shows the depth of grief that he has. It is very real. You can be as Christian as ever and still want some sort of sign after the death of a loved one. And sometimes there are things that you can't explain. I felt so connected to him as I read this and I had experienced some of the same things after the death of a friend.
It sounds cliche, but this book made me laugh and made me cry. It was a beautiful book that makes you feel like you are friends with Kelsey and hearing him tell you the story of the loss of his sister and how he lived on, but never fully whole. I really humanizes an actor who we often view as larger than life.
I felt so bad for him when he said someone had once told him that he hadn't had that hard of a life. He has been blessed in so many ways, but I know I would not want to endure the losses that he has endured. He has been blessed, but he has still had a hard life and overcame so much grief.
I highly recommend the audiobook. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an audio ARC. And thank you to Kelsey Grammer for opening his heart and his life to us. It was a tragic story beautifully told.
Before writing my review, I did read some of the other reviews, especially those with low ratings, and I was very surprised by the reviews, especially by those who listened to the audiobook like I did. The audiobook is the best because it is read by the author and he has the most amazing voice in general, but when you hear him tell the story there is so much more to it.
I am going to address some of the issues other readers had with the book: First, some did not like the writing style. Personally, I loved it. It was conversational. If you want to feel like you are listening to Kelsey talk about his sister and his life, this is the book for you. You almost feel like you are listening to a friend. Some didn't like that it was not in chronological order, but again, it is conversational, and it is told in a very conversational way. I liked when he would mention something and then come back to it, that happens with friends. You might hear the same story again, each time there is a new facet to the story.
Some people also said that he didn't talk enough about his sister with one reviewer saying that he should have called the book "Kelsey." Ouch. I think that it does talk quite a bit about his sister and his love for her. There is not a single minute of this book where you cannot feel the love he has for his sister and the grief he has felt every day since she was killed. If only we could all be loved so much.
Others said that he either focused too much on spirituality and religion and others said it wasn't enough. I thought it was raw and real. He talked about his Christian beliefs while also seemingly contradicting them while talking about speaking to a medium who said she could contact Karen. I think this shows the depth of grief that he has. It is very real. You can be as Christian as ever and still want some sort of sign after the death of a loved one. And sometimes there are things that you can't explain. I felt so connected to him as I read this and I had experienced some of the same things after the death of a friend.
It sounds cliche, but this book made me laugh and made me cry. It was a beautiful book that makes you feel like you are friends with Kelsey and hearing him tell you the story of the loss of his sister and how he lived on, but never fully whole. I really humanizes an actor who we often view as larger than life.
I felt so bad for him when he said someone had once told him that he hadn't had that hard of a life. He has been blessed in so many ways, but I know I would not want to endure the losses that he has endured. He has been blessed, but he has still had a hard life and overcame so much grief.
I highly recommend the audiobook. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an audio ARC. And thank you to Kelsey Grammer for opening his heart and his life to us. It was a tragic story beautifully told.
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December 19, 2025I’m on a losing streak. DNF @ 12%
May 13, 2025
What could possibly have been a very heartfelt memoir about the loss of Kelsey Grammer's sister due to a brutal murder, ended up being more of a misogynistic tale of a man who didn't execute his vision well.
Disclaimer: I read this as part of an audiobook through NetGalley and Harper Select. Thank you to NetGalley and Harper select for the free ALC. all opinions are my own. This is my honest and voluntary review.
Dnf at 17%
I wanna start off by saying I am extremely upset that I did not enjoy this book as much as I thought it would. I am a huge fan of Cheers and Frasier and was super looking forward to reading a detailed description of Kelsey Grammer's experience surrounding losing his sister as well as the aftermath of that particular crime. Needless to say this book was absolutely not what I thought it was.
There was some good information and points about his sister growing up the details of the crime that took her life. As well as Kelsey's difficulty dealing with it all the way through adulthood. Had the book stuck with that timeline and that experience I feel like I would've enjoyed this more because that's what I thought I was getting when I picked up the novel. But unfortunately, this execution was just not what I had intended to read when I picked the book up.
The storyline was in no way linear or had any kind of structure to it. It was a lot of rambling, and even Kelsey Grammer in the narration explained that it was just how things were coming to him and that he wasn't really focused on telling a linear story. This created a few problems for me as a reader because I had a hard time following along with what he was talking about and what period of life he was in. There was no distinction between past, present and future. You jumped around quite a bit even within the same paragraph at times.
While there was periods of absolute heart filled genuineness that came through in the writing, there was also periods where I literally gasped and could not believe the portion of the story that I was listening to. There was a point in the beginning of the novel where Kelsey Grammer details his grandfather figure Gordon telling him a story about the war. He uses an insensitive slur against Japanese people and gives a very detailed description of what Gordon explained was done to the bodies of Japanese soldiers during the war. I did not sign up for that kind of graphic detail. I'm unsure why a war story was included in this to begin with. It did not seem to be at all relevant to the storyline or the plot of the memoir. The book was further devolved for me as Kelsey Grammer, numerous times within the beginning of the the book, sexualized various women that he was discussing. He talked about their bodies in a very blasé manner, and basically brought them down to descriptions of breast and body type. Even after this, I continued to push on, hoping that it would get better and I would get more details pertaining to the siblings childhood and about Karen's death and their relationship because that's what I thought the bulk of this would be about.
I knew for sure that this memoir wasn't going to be for me when Kelsey Grammer started talking about how he was pretty sure he had a "vaccine injury" from the polio vaccine that caused his ankles and knee to hurt. At this point, I realize Kelsey Grammer's memoir just might not be for me and that Kelsey Grammer in general might not be the kind of person that I would necessarily want to read about in detail. I respect his career and the things that he went through with his sister's murder. But ultimately, I do not think that this is a memoir I can learn anything from with the numerous issues that I ran into throughout the narration.
I appreciate the genuine hurt I could feel through Kelsey Grammar about his sister's murder and his struggles with it well into adulthood. Had the story stuck to her early childhood, the detail surrounding her death and his subsequent struggle to deal with the loss of his sibling. I think I would've enjoyed this memoir a bunch more. But it was just too much of other things pertaining to Kelsey Grammer that did not have anything to do with the story I thought I was getting and just really came across as problematic in too many ways for me.
Disclaimer: I read this as part of an audiobook through NetGalley and Harper Select. Thank you to NetGalley and Harper select for the free ALC. all opinions are my own. This is my honest and voluntary review.
Dnf at 17%
I wanna start off by saying I am extremely upset that I did not enjoy this book as much as I thought it would. I am a huge fan of Cheers and Frasier and was super looking forward to reading a detailed description of Kelsey Grammer's experience surrounding losing his sister as well as the aftermath of that particular crime. Needless to say this book was absolutely not what I thought it was.
There was some good information and points about his sister growing up the details of the crime that took her life. As well as Kelsey's difficulty dealing with it all the way through adulthood. Had the book stuck with that timeline and that experience I feel like I would've enjoyed this more because that's what I thought I was getting when I picked up the novel. But unfortunately, this execution was just not what I had intended to read when I picked the book up.
The storyline was in no way linear or had any kind of structure to it. It was a lot of rambling, and even Kelsey Grammer in the narration explained that it was just how things were coming to him and that he wasn't really focused on telling a linear story. This created a few problems for me as a reader because I had a hard time following along with what he was talking about and what period of life he was in. There was no distinction between past, present and future. You jumped around quite a bit even within the same paragraph at times.
While there was periods of absolute heart filled genuineness that came through in the writing, there was also periods where I literally gasped and could not believe the portion of the story that I was listening to. There was a point in the beginning of the novel where Kelsey Grammer details his grandfather figure Gordon telling him a story about the war. He uses an insensitive slur against Japanese people and gives a very detailed description of what Gordon explained was done to the bodies of Japanese soldiers during the war. I did not sign up for that kind of graphic detail. I'm unsure why a war story was included in this to begin with. It did not seem to be at all relevant to the storyline or the plot of the memoir. The book was further devolved for me as Kelsey Grammer, numerous times within the beginning of the the book, sexualized various women that he was discussing. He talked about their bodies in a very blasé manner, and basically brought them down to descriptions of breast and body type. Even after this, I continued to push on, hoping that it would get better and I would get more details pertaining to the siblings childhood and about Karen's death and their relationship because that's what I thought the bulk of this would be about.
I knew for sure that this memoir wasn't going to be for me when Kelsey Grammer started talking about how he was pretty sure he had a "vaccine injury" from the polio vaccine that caused his ankles and knee to hurt. At this point, I realize Kelsey Grammer's memoir just might not be for me and that Kelsey Grammer in general might not be the kind of person that I would necessarily want to read about in detail. I respect his career and the things that he went through with his sister's murder. But ultimately, I do not think that this is a memoir I can learn anything from with the numerous issues that I ran into throughout the narration.
I appreciate the genuine hurt I could feel through Kelsey Grammar about his sister's murder and his struggles with it well into adulthood. Had the story stuck to her early childhood, the detail surrounding her death and his subsequent struggle to deal with the loss of his sibling. I think I would've enjoyed this memoir a bunch more. But it was just too much of other things pertaining to Kelsey Grammer that did not have anything to do with the story I thought I was getting and just really came across as problematic in too many ways for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2025
i just finished reading this book and i literally had to force myself to finish. i have a few main points that made me hate this book:
1. almost every woman he mentions in this book is sexualized and it's lowkey creepy. like no, we do not want to hear about how you saw your old friend's mom almost naked when you were a kid, and we especially don't want to hear you THANK her for that!! it's just weird. you don't need to (and SHOULDN'T) sexualize every. single. woman. you. mention. this i think was my biggest ick with this book. he just keeps talking about women in a way that feels so wrong.
2. there is SO MUCH unnecessary stuff!!! like i thought this was supposed to be about you remembering your sister who was murdered, not your whole life story! i feel like it focuses so much more on kelsey's life than that of his sister. it's annoying, and there's so so so much stuff that we really just don't need to know!!!
3. EXTREMELY disjointed! he'll be talking about these random people, then the next paragraph he'll bring up some other completely random people he's never mentioned before without giving any background. he jumps around from being a little kid to being an adult to a teenager back to a kid and then he just keeps switching without giving any context or reason. a lot of the time it's hard to figure out where/who/what he's talking about.
4. it feels so so so unedited. there's a point where he says he's in the process of editing the book but please tell me where the edits are...because it is VERY poorly written.
5. he talks to the readers??? he includes parts where his dead sister is "talking" to him??? he claims to not be pushing christianity...then proceeds to push christianity??? i myself am openly christian, but this book just seemed too much like he was trying to convert the readers. sorry if this offends anyone, again i am christian and mean no offense at anyone who takes sharing religion very seriously.
6: he uses the slur for japanese people. you are an old white man. you don't get to use that word. i'm japanese american and i don't use that word. it's just insensitive and racist, even if you "apologize" for it. you can censor it or say something else and everyone will know what you mean. just please, DON'T USE SLURS. seriously. this is an issue.
7. ok this is just a personal reason for me but there was one point where he hinted he doesn't believe in the moon landing and i was just like you've gotta be kidding me...please don't tell me he's one of THOSE guys. he's definitely one of those guys.
so yeah, this is why i hated this book. it was SO FREAKING HARD to get through and the only reason i actually finished it was because i chose this book for my summer reading (we had to choose a nonfiction book on the nyt bestsellers list) without knowing what i was getting myself into...then i procrastinated starting it and by the time i realized what a bad book it was i no longer had time to choose, read, and annotate a new book. hope this helps anyone thinking about reading (key word: DON'T)!!
1. almost every woman he mentions in this book is sexualized and it's lowkey creepy. like no, we do not want to hear about how you saw your old friend's mom almost naked when you were a kid, and we especially don't want to hear you THANK her for that!! it's just weird. you don't need to (and SHOULDN'T) sexualize every. single. woman. you. mention. this i think was my biggest ick with this book. he just keeps talking about women in a way that feels so wrong.
2. there is SO MUCH unnecessary stuff!!! like i thought this was supposed to be about you remembering your sister who was murdered, not your whole life story! i feel like it focuses so much more on kelsey's life than that of his sister. it's annoying, and there's so so so much stuff that we really just don't need to know!!!
3. EXTREMELY disjointed! he'll be talking about these random people, then the next paragraph he'll bring up some other completely random people he's never mentioned before without giving any background. he jumps around from being a little kid to being an adult to a teenager back to a kid and then he just keeps switching without giving any context or reason. a lot of the time it's hard to figure out where/who/what he's talking about.
4. it feels so so so unedited. there's a point where he says he's in the process of editing the book but please tell me where the edits are...because it is VERY poorly written.
5. he talks to the readers??? he includes parts where his dead sister is "talking" to him??? he claims to not be pushing christianity...then proceeds to push christianity??? i myself am openly christian, but this book just seemed too much like he was trying to convert the readers. sorry if this offends anyone, again i am christian and mean no offense at anyone who takes sharing religion very seriously.
6: he uses the slur for japanese people. you are an old white man. you don't get to use that word. i'm japanese american and i don't use that word. it's just insensitive and racist, even if you "apologize" for it. you can censor it or say something else and everyone will know what you mean. just please, DON'T USE SLURS. seriously. this is an issue.
7. ok this is just a personal reason for me but there was one point where he hinted he doesn't believe in the moon landing and i was just like you've gotta be kidding me...please don't tell me he's one of THOSE guys. he's definitely one of those guys.
so yeah, this is why i hated this book. it was SO FREAKING HARD to get through and the only reason i actually finished it was because i chose this book for my summer reading (we had to choose a nonfiction book on the nyt bestsellers list) without knowing what i was getting myself into...then i procrastinated starting it and by the time i realized what a bad book it was i no longer had time to choose, read, and annotate a new book. hope this helps anyone thinking about reading (key word: DON'T)!!
April 30, 2025
Honestly, this book was rough to get through.
In summary, Kelsey Grammer had a very weird relationship with his sister and this entire book felt like a stream of conscious thought somehow about her death but also not about her death. He managed to tell so much of his own life story and then occasionally throw in " my sister would have loved to live this" or "I wish she were able to have been there" so this felt like more of Grammer working through his grief in the things she did not get to do.
The writing style was erratic and hard to stay focused on. Grammer jumped all throughout his timeline so he would be 10 one moment and then 35 the next and it added to the lack of cohesion throughout, Grammer mentions several times that he doesn't know why he's writing what he's been writing.
Also, I found his comments about his sister a little creepy.
I got this copy from NetGalley in exchange for my review.
In summary, Kelsey Grammer had a very weird relationship with his sister and this entire book felt like a stream of conscious thought somehow about her death but also not about her death. He managed to tell so much of his own life story and then occasionally throw in " my sister would have loved to live this" or "I wish she were able to have been there" so this felt like more of Grammer working through his grief in the things she did not get to do.
The writing style was erratic and hard to stay focused on. Grammer jumped all throughout his timeline so he would be 10 one moment and then 35 the next and it added to the lack of cohesion throughout, Grammer mentions several times that he doesn't know why he's writing what he's been writing.
Also, I found his comments about his sister a little creepy.
I got this copy from NetGalley in exchange for my review.
June 12, 2025
I am not sure how reading this book compares to that of the audio version, however listening to it felt as though I was sitting in Kelsey's company, getting to know a new friend as he shared very personal and heartfelt memories about his life. Yes, it jumped around often, but that is how conversations are amongst new and old friends. I found it to be very moving and honest. Some have stated that the book is to much about Kelsey and not Karen. I would like to point out that the title is Karen: a Brother Remembers. The author is still telling her story as he tells his own, because as he states often, she is still with him as he goes about his daily life, and because he loves her she always will be. Our story is not over once we take our last breath, but we live on in the lives of those we touched while we were here. The grief of loosing that love one takes a lifetime to go through. I am glad that he shared their story and that he is able to remember his dear loved one as she lived and loved, and now I feel as though I know her as well. Thank you Kelsey, she was lovely indeed.
dnf
May 24, 2025Karen: A Brother Remembers is *supposed to be* Kelsey Grammer's recollection of his 18-year-old sister's torture & murder in 1975.
What I'm sure was a cathartic writing and recording experience for Grammer ended up being incredibly confusing and frustrating for the reader/listener.
The best part/only good part of the audiobook was the narration. I could feel the emotion and pain in Grammer's voice.
But the book is nonlinear, bouncing back and forth between different ages and timelines. I had difficulty keeping track of what/who Grammer was talking about or the point of it. He refers to relatives by their first name (e.g., Gordon instead of Grandpa), which gets confusing quickly when many people are introduced. Many of the tangents felt only relevant to Grammer and not his sister at all. For example, why am I hearing about Kelsey's professor at Julliard, who may or may not have been involved with a student...?
I got to about 30%, but 15 hours of this meandering is entirely too long. I won't rate this; it will just live on my DNF shelf.
I can't say I recommend this to anyone, unfortunately.
What I'm sure was a cathartic writing and recording experience for Grammer ended up being incredibly confusing and frustrating for the reader/listener.
The best part/only good part of the audiobook was the narration. I could feel the emotion and pain in Grammer's voice.
But the book is nonlinear, bouncing back and forth between different ages and timelines. I had difficulty keeping track of what/who Grammer was talking about or the point of it. He refers to relatives by their first name (e.g., Gordon instead of Grandpa), which gets confusing quickly when many people are introduced. Many of the tangents felt only relevant to Grammer and not his sister at all. For example, why am I hearing about Kelsey's professor at Julliard, who may or may not have been involved with a student...?
I got to about 30%, but 15 hours of this meandering is entirely too long. I won't rate this; it will just live on my DNF shelf.
I can't say I recommend this to anyone, unfortunately.
July 31, 2025
I felt the loss. Well written.
May 19, 2025
This is a tough review to write since I really enjoy Kelsey’s acting and listening to his voice. But I cannot say that I enjoyed this book - not just because it is (somewhat) about the brutal murder of his younger sister Karen, but because of the way it is told. The book jumps back and forth in time as he is writing the story, and it is sometimes difficult to know if he is talking about people from his past or present life. He tells many stories about his family life growing up and also tells stories about many people who have passed through his life in many different ways, like teachers, friends, roommates, lovers and colleagues. It’s similar to being in a one way conversation where the speaker is just talking about whatever comes into his head. He claims that all the information he is sharing is related to the story of his sister’s short life, but I have a hard time connecting many stories to her.
I want to thank Netgalley and HarperCollins Focus for access to the audiobook.
I want to thank Netgalley and HarperCollins Focus for access to the audiobook.
March 19, 2025
This was a tough one.
Writing a review for something so heartfelt, open and honest seems somewhat improper. Grammer writes beautifully about his beloved sister and how she was taken from the world far far too soon.
His writing style is somewhat erratic, jumping from thought to thought without any apparent link, at least initially. However, I found this to be a very realistic and an accurate portrayal of his grief and his attempts to process it. The fact that he still wrestles with it to this day - and the grace and dignity in which he does - is heartbreaking. Truly a book that will stay with me for a long time.
Thanks to NetGalley and Harper Select for the ARC.
Writing a review for something so heartfelt, open and honest seems somewhat improper. Grammer writes beautifully about his beloved sister and how she was taken from the world far far too soon.
His writing style is somewhat erratic, jumping from thought to thought without any apparent link, at least initially. However, I found this to be a very realistic and an accurate portrayal of his grief and his attempts to process it. The fact that he still wrestles with it to this day - and the grace and dignity in which he does - is heartbreaking. Truly a book that will stay with me for a long time.
Thanks to NetGalley and Harper Select for the ARC.
November 8, 2025
After losing my dad, media on grief often grabs my attention. This book was a very unique experience, as it’s clear Kelsey Grammer wrote this as a cathartic healing journey.
While it’s so emotional and honest, it’s written in a very train of thought fashion which is better heard than read (which, by the way, the audiobook is read by the author). This might really work for some people, but it could have done with a tad bit more streamline editing. However, listening to it did feel like a story by an older family member. I found this mostly comforting, along with Grammer’s very nice voice, but also a little annoyingly familiar as well as some conservative views occasionally were sprinkled in. Not to mention the more brutal parts of Karen’s death are also occasionally mentioned, so be warned.
At some part of the grieving process a very honest study of the open wound can be healing, so if you feel like listening to someone lay all their regret and grief out with no structure, it might be just what you need.
I was comforted by the idea that Grammer also regrets not speaking at the funeral of his sister, as he felt she was misrepresented or not focused on enough by who did speak. This has been a shared regret of mine and it was a bit healing to know even a well rehearsed actor can be equally nervous and emotional in the same situation and later regret their choice.
While it’s so emotional and honest, it’s written in a very train of thought fashion which is better heard than read (which, by the way, the audiobook is read by the author). This might really work for some people, but it could have done with a tad bit more streamline editing. However, listening to it did feel like a story by an older family member. I found this mostly comforting, along with Grammer’s very nice voice, but also a little annoyingly familiar as well as some conservative views occasionally were sprinkled in. Not to mention the more brutal parts of Karen’s death are also occasionally mentioned, so be warned.
At some part of the grieving process a very honest study of the open wound can be healing, so if you feel like listening to someone lay all their regret and grief out with no structure, it might be just what you need.
I was comforted by the idea that Grammer also regrets not speaking at the funeral of his sister, as he felt she was misrepresented or not focused on enough by who did speak. This has been a shared regret of mine and it was a bit healing to know even a well rehearsed actor can be equally nervous and emotional in the same situation and later regret their choice.
August 12, 2025
I always feel wrong giving a low rating to someone's story, especially one as tragic and heartbreaking as this one. My rating is in no way reflective of Kelsey Grammar's or his sister Karen's story. It is for the writing and structure of this book alone. It is almost unreadable. It's a convoluted mess of tangents written in stream of consciousness style - over 450 pages with only 3 chapters/sections. It is painful to read, not for content but for trying to make sense of what is happening in any given paragraph. It is billed as a memoir of what happened to Karen, murdered at age 19, and how it impacted Kelsey's life, but I still don't have a good hold on either of those things by the end. It's almost like a puzzle with random bits of important information scattered throughout that the reader has to find in order to form a full picture/understanding. It's a weird mix of (sometimes icky) TMI while also glossing over his multiple marriages, drug and alcohol problems, and health issues and a lot of contradictory information on his religious beliefs and practice and family. I'm very sorry for his tragedies, but this is a mess.
May 16, 2025
Before I begin, my review is harsh I’m aware of this. I want to stress that there is no rating that could match the empathy and respect I feel for Kelsey Grammer finding the strength to not only write but share with the world the detail of his beloved sisters brutal murder. His honesty in how it’s haunted his life and his determination to try to find solace and catharsis in the exercise is inspirational. I have to really lay all of that to one side though and remember this is a book review.
Clocking around 14 hours this was never going to be a quick listen, but I figured that a great actor with a story to tell would at least be entertaining. I feel awful writing this. Unfortunately it was chaotic, repetitive and extremely confusing almost all of the way through. Almost like a continuous stream of consciousness. Retelling of the same stories, an endless stream of names that come and go and the whole thing felt like a bout of vertigo which was at times almost intolerable. I can’t even fathom how this reads in text format I assume it’s even more difficult.
I do greatly appreciate the opportunity to review this audiobook and extend my thanks to HarperCollins Focus, Kelsey Grammer and NetGalley for the ALC 🎧
Clocking around 14 hours this was never going to be a quick listen, but I figured that a great actor with a story to tell would at least be entertaining. I feel awful writing this. Unfortunately it was chaotic, repetitive and extremely confusing almost all of the way through. Almost like a continuous stream of consciousness. Retelling of the same stories, an endless stream of names that come and go and the whole thing felt like a bout of vertigo which was at times almost intolerable. I can’t even fathom how this reads in text format I assume it’s even more difficult.
I do greatly appreciate the opportunity to review this audiobook and extend my thanks to HarperCollins Focus, Kelsey Grammer and NetGalley for the ALC 🎧
October 22, 2025
as much as i would like to give it a higher rating, it was just too scrambled for me to comprehend at some points. with the title being karen, i thought there would have been more about the sister than kelsey himself, almost disguising this as a memoir. i do hope karen is at peace, that is no way to leave this world.
July 12, 2025
This is a heartfelt memoir that is raw and emotional. I liked the writing style because it was unique. I would recommend this! Special Thank You to Kelsey Grammer,Harper Selects and NetGalley for allowing me to read a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 18, 2025
I only know Grammer from years watching him on Cheers. I never knew his sister’s sad story.
It’s horrifying and horrific what she endured and it shouldn’t have happened.
There’s lots of great pictures of his family and his sister.
It’s horrifying and horrific what she endured and it shouldn’t have happened.
There’s lots of great pictures of his family and his sister.
May 10, 2025
What a tragic story and the senseless death of a beautiful soul. RIP Karen....your brother really misses you. I highly recommend it.
May 1, 2025
Review: Karen: A Brother Remembers by Kelsey Grammer
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I really wanted to love this book, and while it didn’t completely work for me stylistically, there’s still much to appreciate. Kelsey Grammer explains early on that he wrote the book as memories came to him—jumping back and forth in time as a deliberate homage to Henry Fielding. The result is a nonlinear, often meandering structure with frequent digressions, which at times made it hard to follow or connect the narrative threads, especially in the beginning.
That said, there are moments where the writing truly shines—vivid, descriptive, and emotionally evocative. Grammer’s love for his mother and grandparents is heartfelt, and his reflections on childhood are rich with detail and warmth. He writes movingly about his children as well, and his honesty about his personal failings adds a welcome sense of vulnerability and growth.
He also undertakes meaningful efforts to reconnect with Karen’s memory—not just visiting her university, but also traveling to Oklahoma to retrace her final steps from her apartment to the Red Lobster parking lot where she was abducted. These moments are among the most powerful in the book, offering glimpses into the depth of his love and grief.
While the book is titled Karen: A Brother Remembers, I did feel it focused more on Kelsey than on Karen herself. I had hoped for a fuller portrait of her—her voice, her presence, her impact. There’s also a recurring theme of detailing past romantic or sexual encounters, which felt unnecessary and distracting from the core message.
There’s more religious reflection than I expected, and while it didn’t resonate with me personally, I respect that his faith is clearly a source of comfort and strength in his grieving process. His emotional openness—particularly in acknowledging his regrets and struggles—is one of the book’s strongest elements.
Some passages felt outdated or veered into a tone that read as subtly misogynistic, which detracted from the more tender aspects of the memoir. Still, it’s undeniable that this is a deeply personal and emotional work. Grammer’s enduring grief for his sister, and his love for her, are the emotional heart of the book—and that sincerity gives the story weight, even when the structure and tone falter.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I really wanted to love this book, and while it didn’t completely work for me stylistically, there’s still much to appreciate. Kelsey Grammer explains early on that he wrote the book as memories came to him—jumping back and forth in time as a deliberate homage to Henry Fielding. The result is a nonlinear, often meandering structure with frequent digressions, which at times made it hard to follow or connect the narrative threads, especially in the beginning.
That said, there are moments where the writing truly shines—vivid, descriptive, and emotionally evocative. Grammer’s love for his mother and grandparents is heartfelt, and his reflections on childhood are rich with detail and warmth. He writes movingly about his children as well, and his honesty about his personal failings adds a welcome sense of vulnerability and growth.
He also undertakes meaningful efforts to reconnect with Karen’s memory—not just visiting her university, but also traveling to Oklahoma to retrace her final steps from her apartment to the Red Lobster parking lot where she was abducted. These moments are among the most powerful in the book, offering glimpses into the depth of his love and grief.
While the book is titled Karen: A Brother Remembers, I did feel it focused more on Kelsey than on Karen herself. I had hoped for a fuller portrait of her—her voice, her presence, her impact. There’s also a recurring theme of detailing past romantic or sexual encounters, which felt unnecessary and distracting from the core message.
There’s more religious reflection than I expected, and while it didn’t resonate with me personally, I respect that his faith is clearly a source of comfort and strength in his grieving process. His emotional openness—particularly in acknowledging his regrets and struggles—is one of the book’s strongest elements.
Some passages felt outdated or veered into a tone that read as subtly misogynistic, which detracted from the more tender aspects of the memoir. Still, it’s undeniable that this is a deeply personal and emotional work. Grammer’s enduring grief for his sister, and his love for her, are the emotional heart of the book—and that sincerity gives the story weight, even when the structure and tone falter.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 9, 2025
Hmm. Such a hard book to review. My heartfelt sympathy is with Kelsey and his family. How horrible to lose a loved one in such a violent way. I can’t imagine the pain.
I was hoping for something else. I’m not sure how to explain it. Maybe more of an explanation of what happened. I don’t mean graphic details, but a better timeline of things and some better details of the investigation.
This book jumped around so much that I found myself reading a couple of pages and becoming confused that I had missed something… backtracking only to find out I had more or less not missed anything. The information was just…. Not there.
This was like reading a diary of someone who suffered a terrible loss, which Kelsey did, but it was just so scattered it was not easy at all to stick with it.
Kelsey still carries much anger and hate in his heart, which I get and can not imagine and pray I never have to go through anything like this.
I read the actual hardback book because audio books drag for me and I can read three times faster myself. Some authors can make it quite interesting, but I can’t imagine listening to Dr, Frasier Crane going on and on. I would have fallen asleep.
It’s a sad story, a brutal reminder of how much evil lives in this world.
I had to separate Kelsey Grammer…. The person writing this book from the Kelsey Grammer I came to hate for the way he just dumped his wife Camille…. Who he was married to for over a decade and cheated on her and then ended their marriage with a phone call. He married his home wrecker flight attendant girlfriend who was pregnant at the time and I lost all respect for the man.
But I put that aside to learn about the murder of his sister, Karen.
I know just about as much now as I did when I started the book.
I gave him three ⭐️⭐️⭐️ because my heart does break for him.
But the actual book was not well written and leaves you feeling sad, confused and full of questions.
I was hoping for something else. I’m not sure how to explain it. Maybe more of an explanation of what happened. I don’t mean graphic details, but a better timeline of things and some better details of the investigation.
This book jumped around so much that I found myself reading a couple of pages and becoming confused that I had missed something… backtracking only to find out I had more or less not missed anything. The information was just…. Not there.
This was like reading a diary of someone who suffered a terrible loss, which Kelsey did, but it was just so scattered it was not easy at all to stick with it.
Kelsey still carries much anger and hate in his heart, which I get and can not imagine and pray I never have to go through anything like this.
I read the actual hardback book because audio books drag for me and I can read three times faster myself. Some authors can make it quite interesting, but I can’t imagine listening to Dr, Frasier Crane going on and on. I would have fallen asleep.
It’s a sad story, a brutal reminder of how much evil lives in this world.
I had to separate Kelsey Grammer…. The person writing this book from the Kelsey Grammer I came to hate for the way he just dumped his wife Camille…. Who he was married to for over a decade and cheated on her and then ended their marriage with a phone call. He married his home wrecker flight attendant girlfriend who was pregnant at the time and I lost all respect for the man.
But I put that aside to learn about the murder of his sister, Karen.
I know just about as much now as I did when I started the book.
I gave him three ⭐️⭐️⭐️ because my heart does break for him.
But the actual book was not well written and leaves you feeling sad, confused and full of questions.
June 27, 2025
ugh, don't bother, I couldn't get thru this . sad his sister died, but it went on and on , boring
June 24, 2025
Made it all the way to 218 before admitting defeat. I felt like I was being hit over the head with religion in almost every paragraph. Also, the meandering style of writing that skipped between past and present became tedious.
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