Yes, Ma'am: The Secret Life of Royal Servants

by Tom Quinn

What really makes the royal family tick?

It's a question that royal watchers have pondered for as long as the monarchy has existed. And who better to ask than the army of servants and staff past and present who feed and clothe the royals, organise their days, polish their shoes, carry the deer and pheasants they shoot and even put the toothpaste on their toothbrushes?

From medieval times, when the Groom of the Stool oversaw the monarch's lavatorial exploits, and courtiers accompanied the king and queen to bed on their wedding night and made bawdy remarks until ushered out of the room, below-stairs staff have had a unique insight into the lives of their royal masters.

In this lively and colourful history, royal expert Tom Quinn goes behind palace doors to give a compelling glimpse of Britain's royals, ancient and modern. Here you will find the tales of the equerry who threatened to throw Queen Victoria out of her own stables, the junior footman who had to change his name on the orders of the queen, and the lady in waiting who, with Prince Philip's mother Princess Alice, regularly set fire to her rooms at Buckingham Palace.

Perhaps most intriguing of all, we see, through the eyes of serving and recently retired staff, how today's royals live – including how the relationship between Meghan and Harry and William and Kate started with high hopes and descended into bitterness and anger.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Royalty, Ebooks

253 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 20, 2025

Reviews

[*TUDOR^QUEEN* · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

I saw this serialized on the Daily Mail Online app, where I often find out about the latest biographies. This author is a prolific biographer of The British Royals. This is the kind of biography that you can skim if who they are talking about bores you. That's what I did. Quinn reaches back into the royal British past to discuss the hiring caste system, with examples in history. He even extoled on the job position of "Groom of the Stool" during the time of King Henry VIII- an unenviable task, yet a role where you were closest to the King. I was quite surprised that the author got a major fact in history wrong during the Tudor era when he mentioned that Cardinal Thomas Wolsey was executed and lost his head. That never happened. Although Wolsey was accused of treason and enroute to face judgement, he died of illness along the way.

Even when Quinn was writing about something from much earlier British history, he often threw in some relevant fact/story involving one of today's royals like Queen Elizabeth II, her children, their spouses, and grandchildren involving their interactions with "the help"- so if you were skimming you needed a keen eye not to miss out on something current. Although I love reading about the Tudor era, I was keener for some dish on the current royals. Although there was that, it was minimal in comparison to the bulk of the book. However, there was a decent number of stories involving Queen Elizabeth II, Princess Margaret, and The Queen Mother. The book proper ended at the 77% mark, with the balance of the book comprising bibliography/notes, acknowledgements, about the author, and some advertisements for other books from the publisher. 'Twas an interesting reverie for us royal anglophiles.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed something fun with factoids

I saw the promotion of this book before it was released and decided that I had to be one of the first to read it. It was enlightening. Especially for us Americans, who might not completely understand the strict social status adhered to in the UK. It was refreshing that only the last couple of chapters focused on the current royal family, more sharingthe history of the British royal family over centuries. It’s a fun read!

[Melanie Allen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I thought it would be

[Summer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected a more personal memoir style account offering an intimate look behind the royal curtain. The book instead takes readers on a journey through the evolution of the British Royal household. It explains the origins of these servant roles and how they came exist within the monarchy and what their rolls entail and why in context to history.

Though there are a few chapters that touch on personal anecdotes and offer glimpses into life behind the scenes, they are more general in nature and lack the depth I was hoping for. The behind-the-scenes moments were interesting, but they felt more like brief high-level snapshots rather than in-depth personal experiences.

For those seeking a deeper, more personal perspective on royal life, this book might not be what you're looking for.

However, if you're interested in the history and structure of the British monarchy and the essential roles played by royal servants, this book provides a comprehensive exploration.

[E · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Repetitive, like the author did not have enough material to cover the pages expected by the editor. We have it drummed into our head Royals only want people from certain kinds of back grounds and read the same anecdote about the queen’s closest aide over and over.

[Honest Mabel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had hoped for more

So there is a lot of good info but I had expected more to come from the interviews but it was a sprinkling and not worth the ebook price of $20

[Clive Hodges · Rating 3 out of 5]

The modern royal family is a celebrity family. The monarch’s constitutional role is largely symbolic and their lifestyle – the palaces, carriages and wealth – is underpinned by teams of servants.
Their contracts of employment require them to stay silent on what they hear and see. Most do, but it’s difficult to keep a juicy bit of gossip to oneself. Consequently, we already know a few of the humorous and scandalous anecdotes.

'Yes, Ma’am the Secret Life of Royal Servants' includes many I haven’t heard before.

A young, newly employed stable boy had been warned that many undesirables try to gain entrance to the royal stables. He was to politely escort them off the premises. On his second day he came across a petite, overweight woman dressed completely in black. He held her arm and swept her to the exit. It turned out to be Queen Victoria.

Tom Quinn has researched widely and there’s gossip galore in the book. He mentions monarchs from Henry VIII to the present day. The emphasis, however, is on the period since 1952.

Princess Margaret and the Duchess of Sussex are heavily criticised for the way they dealt with their staff. Those working with and for Queen Elizabeth loved her dearly and considered her ‘cool, calm and collected’.

There’s sympathy for Prince Andrew and the Duke of Sussex while other royals are rarely mentioned.

If you’re thinking of applying for a job at Buckingham Palace, this book is a ‘must-read’. If you’re a Royal tragic, you’ll already have read it.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Britain is the poster child for inherited wealth. It's interesting that some of the richest families are rich because hundreds of years ago the king took a fancy to one of their ancestors.
Quinn explores servants from the kitchen staff to the courtiers. The lower servants have it better off. There's anonymity in numbers that allows them to get away with a lot in royal households that wouldn't fly in middle class homes with fewer staff. The courtiers are always well to do and are the ones I find most annoying. They tend to be bitchy and rather above themselves. When the media flipped out over Michelle Obama touched Queen Elizabeth, I am sure it was the courtiers who were most offended. The Queen was probably happy for something to happen other than the standard drudgery of her job making small talk. The biggest problem with the book was the redundancy. It felt like Backstairs Billy and Dodo were reintroduced multiple times.
Quinn is pretty evenhanded when it comes to the royal family itself. They've lived their entire lives surrounded by servants responding to their every whim so of course, they don't realize what real life is like. I'm still not convinced Elizabeth and Charles always travel with their own toilet seats because they decreed it. It seems more like the kind of thing a courtier decided when there was a bad toilet one time and the courtier vowed it would never happen again.
Quinn tackles Megan Markle at the end of the book, again being pretty even handed. It's not her fault she entered the relationship with a fairytale view of royalty. I blame Harry. You'd think his army time would have clued him in on how not normal his family in. He should have done a better job preparing her.
Finally, Jeeves was not a butler. It was inexcusable for Quinn called him one in a chapter that also mentioned the differences between a butler and a valet.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be fair I thought this book would be more about the modern royal family, but it’s more about the history of the roles of the servants of the royal family’s beginning in 1066 with William the Conqueror.

So if you want to know where the title Groom of the Stool originated or what that role has evolved into. Or perhaps if the butler is really the head of the staff (spoiler alert: it’s not!). Then this book is for you.

If you want to see a being the scenes look at the royal family then this book is not really for you. There are small snippets included in each chapter about a royal family, but it may be Charles I or Victoria and most of it I already knew. The last chapter is about Meghan. So that was interesting.

It was also somewhat repetitive. Twice he talks about Charles and his toothpaste “perfectly polished shoes and toothpaste neatly squeezed on to his toothbrush in exactly the way he likes it.” Then “King Charles no doubt thinks it is perfectly reasonable, given his status as king, to have a member of his staff tasked with putting toothpaste on the royal toothbrush each evening.”

Given the cover I thought the book would cover more behind the scenes of the modern royal family so I was a tad disappointed.

[Adrienne Cullen-Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very disappointed in this book. It was well written and interesting but not what I expected. I thought it would shed more light on modern servants in the Royal household but it was mainly about the history of servants to the Royals from the Tudor, Stuart, Georgian periods etc. There was very little about the modern servants. I really thought the book would lift the curtain on the current servants in the Royal households. There is nothing in this book that I haven't read elsewhere.

[Madame Histoire · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed it. It is part a history book on the royal servants, part The Sun royal gossips but with more flair and class. Yes the book has way too many repetitions but I liked the prose (first time seeing anyone referring to themselves as "the present author") and the insights. Will search for more books from this author

[Helen Cummings · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fascinating look behind palace doors into the lives of British royals, past and present and their interactions and treatment of their servants, or staff as they are now called. It was interesting also to learn about the different roles within the royal household and the history and influence of the courtiers who uniformly come from the aristocracy.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you wondered what it’s like to be a Royal Servant? This author does a good job of explaining the history plus giving first-hand knowledge from people who are the hired help! An interesting read! If you enjoy all things Royal, then this book is for you!

[Krystle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great historical insights but limited modern day knowledge about those working for the royal family. Still enjoyable however. But for those who are royalists there is nothing new to glean from this book. Still an enjoyable read.

[Gail · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing. There promised to be a lot of detail about modern day Royals which did not appear.
The historical aspects were interesting.
Bibliography would provide an excellent resource for those wanting to delve deeper into the historical aspect.

[Elisa Sofia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excelente libro. Es de lectura un poco pesada, y no es un libro base, por lo que si no sabes mucho de la monarquía británica no recomiendo empezar por este. Si por el contrario sabes mucho acerca de esta dinastía, lo recomiendo. Tiene datos que no e leído en ningún otro libro. Muy bueno.

[Marie Zahnle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating history and revealing memories.

[Michelle]

DNF

[Pat Lampe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was most interesting, with lots of historical information. It never occurred to me that there was status in the number of servants. Very enjoyable book.

[Andrew Hinton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I randomly picked this up in the Library, good mix of history and gossip

[Cynthia Rennolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun Read on Royalty Staff

Interesting read that gives an overview of the staff for the British Royal Family and how it has changed (or hasn’t) over the last 600 years.

[Sandy Bergeron · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave more historical information than present or recent days. I was a bit disappointed.

[Tanya Jensen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hard to follow

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of interesting quotes, and SO much snobbery.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

An insightful exploration of the relationship between the Royal Family and its servants through the ages.

[Amanda (Tholke) Hollenkamp · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just seemed to be an amalgamation of other people’s books while also defending the monarchy and then at the end bizarrely trashing Meghan Markle

[Karen Kozuls · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating. Doesn't show the royals in a very good light.

[Amy Marino]

DNF

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

Same old stories being feed back to you again with different font. The difference here is about the stories of Queen Victoria and her sexual relationship with 2 of her servants. Everything else is all I heard before and some more. Not worth the money