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A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be
A case study on what happens when obstinate obsession comes up against an unyielding society. 'Maybe it was the sense that the poles of her world had lost their charge. The poles imposing order, dividing sense from nonsense, reality from unreality, love from hate, Mark from Clarissa. That they were all falsely opposed repetitions of the same delusion. That the house she lived in was just an optical illusion in the light of an undifferentiated unknown.' Jacky 'The Beetle' McKenzie is, if you ask her, the most sensible and rational person in the world. Unfortunately, her ordinary and the rest of the world's ordinary don't mix. To the rest of the world, she is belligerent, weird, obsessive, angry and volatile. Always, in the background, husband Mark and girlfriend Clarissa have one eye on each other, both asking the same question - which of them will she push too far first? Which of them will abandon her, and which will be left to pick up the pieces? A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be invites us into the mind of one of the world's few true individuals as she embarks on her quest to streamline her life into the most perfect version it can be. Part visionary architect, part whirlwind of furious artistic chaos, but always, unwaveringly, searingly true to herself, this is a case study on what happens when obstinate obsession comes up against an unyielding society.
240 pages, Paperback
Published September 12, 2024
3 people are currently reading
411 people want to read
About the author
Marieke Bigg
5 books21 followersMarieke Bigg writes about bodies and culture. She holds a PhD in Sociology from the University of Cambridge, where she studied the technological transformation of human reproduction. She now writes both non-fiction and fiction about the cultural dimensions of biology and bodies. In addition to her books, Marieke writes freelance, hosts podcasts and panels, and collaborates with scientists and biologists to discuss and produce art that conjures new social worlds.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
October 17, 2024
I preferred this a lot more than Bigg’s first novel as this is a very different vibe and style of novel. This is a quite subtle chilling character study about a female architect who is going through what seems to be a public mental breakdown. As her husband becomes more estranged she becomes closer to a woman called Clarissa who tries to guide her through being ripped apart by the press and feeling though she is being abandoned by everyone who she wants to share her ideas with.
This was such an different book to her first but I found this a lot more compelling as there was a sense of mystery to it and it almost felt like it had a documentary style of narration to is as we followed her life. I enjoyed the small references to Kafka and the insect symbolism as the main character adopted her new nickname as ‘the Beetle’. It was a very quick read and quite addictive despite there being nothing much in the way of plot going on. I enjoyed the nuance to this book and how the horror was so slight and very psychological. I’d love to read more like this from Bigg.
This was such an different book to her first but I found this a lot more compelling as there was a sense of mystery to it and it almost felt like it had a documentary style of narration to is as we followed her life. I enjoyed the small references to Kafka and the insect symbolism as the main character adopted her new nickname as ‘the Beetle’. It was a very quick read and quite addictive despite there being nothing much in the way of plot going on. I enjoyed the nuance to this book and how the horror was so slight and very psychological. I’d love to read more like this from Bigg.
November 21, 2024
Marieke Bigg’s A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be is a psychological, at times darkly humorous, and thought-provoking exploration of a fiercely independent woman resisting societal expectations. At its core is Jacky “The Beetle” McKenzie, a brilliant yet flawed architect whose obsessive vision places her in constant conflict with the world around her.
Jacky is a mesmerising character—difficult, yes, but deeply compelling. Bigg expertly pulls you into Jacky’s mind, making her seemingly irrational choices feel completely logical from her perspective, even as others struggle to understand. This tension between Jacky’s inner world and how others perceive her drives much of the novel’s intensity. Personally, I found myself loving Jacky despite—or maybe because of—her flaws. She’s not easy to like, but she’s impossible to ignore.
The supporting cast, including Jacky’s husband Mark and her girlfriend Clarissa, adds rich layers to the story. Mark, though more socially adept, has his own faults, taking advantage of Jacky’s brilliance. Clarissa stands out, challenging Jacky’s behaviour and pushing her toward empathy.
Themes of identity, authenticity, and the pressure to conform run throughout the book. Jacky’s obsessive quest to ‘streamline’ herself raises important questions about self-fulfilment, while her passion for architecture becomes a metaphor for her desire to shape both her environment and the people in it. Bigg weaves in clever parallels between human behaviour and nature, particularly through the novel’s focus on beetles. I personally loved the beetle chapters.
Bigg’s sharp, witty prose keeps you hooked, blending humour with dark psychological insight. A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be is a gripping, character-driven novel for people who enjoy delving into complex personalities and confronting the uncomfortable truths of human nature.
Jacky is a mesmerising character—difficult, yes, but deeply compelling. Bigg expertly pulls you into Jacky’s mind, making her seemingly irrational choices feel completely logical from her perspective, even as others struggle to understand. This tension between Jacky’s inner world and how others perceive her drives much of the novel’s intensity. Personally, I found myself loving Jacky despite—or maybe because of—her flaws. She’s not easy to like, but she’s impossible to ignore.
The supporting cast, including Jacky’s husband Mark and her girlfriend Clarissa, adds rich layers to the story. Mark, though more socially adept, has his own faults, taking advantage of Jacky’s brilliance. Clarissa stands out, challenging Jacky’s behaviour and pushing her toward empathy.
Themes of identity, authenticity, and the pressure to conform run throughout the book. Jacky’s obsessive quest to ‘streamline’ herself raises important questions about self-fulfilment, while her passion for architecture becomes a metaphor for her desire to shape both her environment and the people in it. Bigg weaves in clever parallels between human behaviour and nature, particularly through the novel’s focus on beetles. I personally loved the beetle chapters.
Bigg’s sharp, witty prose keeps you hooked, blending humour with dark psychological insight. A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be is a gripping, character-driven novel for people who enjoy delving into complex personalities and confronting the uncomfortable truths of human nature.
September 16, 2024
Meet Jacky "The Beetle" McKenzie. This lady's got a screw loose, but don't you dare tell her that. In her mind, she's the poster child for sanity in a world gone mad. Problem is, the rest of the world didn't get that memo. To everyone else, Jacky's a walking disaster - a mix of weird quirks, obsessive behaviours, and a temper that could make a volcano look chill. She's the kind of person who'd argue with a stop sign and somehow think she won.
Now, caught in the crossfire of Hurricane Jacky are her husband Mark and girlfriend Clarissa. These two? They're stuck in the world's most awkward game of relationship chicken. Both are eyeing the exit, wondering who'll make a break for it first. It's like they're on a sinking ship, each hoping the other will volunteer to go down with it. Who's gonna snap and say "I'm out" first? And who'll be left holding the Jacky-shaped bag of chaos?
"A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be" isn't just a book - it's a front-row ticket to the wildest show in town. This isn't your average "quirky character" story. Nah, Jacky takes it to a whole new level. She's on a mission to perfect her life, and she's bulldozing through anyone and anything that stands in her way.
Imagine a tornado wearing a lab coat - that's Jacky. One minute she's spouting off visionary ideas that might actually make sense, the next she's creating chaos like it's an Olympic sport and she's going for gold. But here's the thing - through it all, Jacky remains unapologetically, brutally herself. She's a square peg in a round hole, and instead of smoothing her edges, she's trying to reshape the whole hole.
"A Scarab Where The Heart Should Be" is a dark comedy that'll make you laugh, then immediately question your sanity for laughing. It's a deep dive into the mind of a character so messed up, so complex, you can't help but keep reading. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
I finished this book feeling like I'd been on a bender with Hunter S. Thompson - exhausted, a little concerned for my mental health, but absolutely exhilarated. If you're looking for a safe, comfortable read, run far, far away. But if you want a story that'll grab you by the brain and not let go, "A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be" is your ticket to the best kind of literary insanity.
Now, caught in the crossfire of Hurricane Jacky are her husband Mark and girlfriend Clarissa. These two? They're stuck in the world's most awkward game of relationship chicken. Both are eyeing the exit, wondering who'll make a break for it first. It's like they're on a sinking ship, each hoping the other will volunteer to go down with it. Who's gonna snap and say "I'm out" first? And who'll be left holding the Jacky-shaped bag of chaos?
"A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be" isn't just a book - it's a front-row ticket to the wildest show in town. This isn't your average "quirky character" story. Nah, Jacky takes it to a whole new level. She's on a mission to perfect her life, and she's bulldozing through anyone and anything that stands in her way.
Imagine a tornado wearing a lab coat - that's Jacky. One minute she's spouting off visionary ideas that might actually make sense, the next she's creating chaos like it's an Olympic sport and she's going for gold. But here's the thing - through it all, Jacky remains unapologetically, brutally herself. She's a square peg in a round hole, and instead of smoothing her edges, she's trying to reshape the whole hole.
"A Scarab Where The Heart Should Be" is a dark comedy that'll make you laugh, then immediately question your sanity for laughing. It's a deep dive into the mind of a character so messed up, so complex, you can't help but keep reading. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
I finished this book feeling like I'd been on a bender with Hunter S. Thompson - exhausted, a little concerned for my mental health, but absolutely exhilarated. If you're looking for a safe, comfortable read, run far, far away. But if you want a story that'll grab you by the brain and not let go, "A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be" is your ticket to the best kind of literary insanity.
June 4, 2025
Above all else, this book is incredibly fun. I was very entertained as I usually am with heavily biased narratives. It was interesting to watch an unlikeable character be picked apart so publicly, and challenged so overtly. She was arrogant and unbending, and it was very amusing. The portrayal of our main character's husband was also hilarious at times, perfectly encapsulating a pathetic man, for lack of a better term.
However, I will say that, though the characterisation was amazing, the character dynamics were not. They were somewhat inconsistent. I understand these characters are meant to be complex but their sudden switches in perception come across as dissonant rather than nuanced. For example, in the rare chapters that are not in Jacky's perspective, Mark says that Jacky needs him, and the loss of him would be terrible for her. Yet, in the next chapter from his point of view, he bemoans that she is too neglectful of him, never making him feel needed. I understand the first perceptive could just be Mark coping, but with how little self-awareness he changes, it just makes the pacing seem botched and the plot uncombed.
[ Vague spoilers for the ending here!! ] Another point of contention is that I don't believe enough time was spent with Clarissa to justify the ending of the book. That seemed, once again, a rapid change of heart that hiccups the pacing. Due to the narrative being so biased, I'm unsure if Jacky's 'change' at the end was intended to be convincing, but either was it was not, and that made the character arc feel unsatisfying.
Nevertheless, the book was highly entertaining, even if nonsensical at times, and I especially enjoyed the interviews and social media segments. Comedic and enticing, it is definitely worth the read. A solid 3.5.
However, I will say that, though the characterisation was amazing, the character dynamics were not. They were somewhat inconsistent. I understand these characters are meant to be complex but their sudden switches in perception come across as dissonant rather than nuanced. For example, in the rare chapters that are not in Jacky's perspective, Mark says that Jacky needs him, and the loss of him would be terrible for her. Yet, in the next chapter from his point of view, he bemoans that she is too neglectful of him, never making him feel needed. I understand the first perceptive could just be Mark coping, but with how little self-awareness he changes, it just makes the pacing seem botched and the plot uncombed.
[ Vague spoilers for the ending here!! ] Another point of contention is that I don't believe enough time was spent with Clarissa to justify the ending of the book. That seemed, once again, a rapid change of heart that hiccups the pacing. Due to the narrative being so biased, I'm unsure if Jacky's 'change' at the end was intended to be convincing, but either was it was not, and that made the character arc feel unsatisfying.
Nevertheless, the book was highly entertaining, even if nonsensical at times, and I especially enjoyed the interviews and social media segments. Comedic and enticing, it is definitely worth the read. A solid 3.5.
November 10, 2024
Another complex character study by Marieke Bigg, and I’m happy to say it didn’t disappoint!
A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be by Marieke Bigg is a dark, unconventional exploration of identity and obsession that toys with the boundary between psychological and speculative fiction.
The novel centers on Jacky “The Beetle” McKenzie, an architect whose aggressive and self-absorbed behaviour slowly alienates those around her. When she embraces the demeaning nickname “The Beetle,” Jacky’s life spirals into a disconcerting blend of delusion and reality, forcing her to confront the limits of her own perceptions.
If you have read Bigg’s debut novel “Waiting for Ted”, you will be familiar with the thought-provoking writing style. The prose is sharp, lyrical and darkly humorous, easing us into Jacky’s chaotic mind. The character work is impressively nuanced, particularly with Jacky’s complex relationships with her husband, her girlfriend, and ultimately with herself. The shifting perspectives add depth, and the short chapters make the book very easy and quick to read.
The story touches on themes of gender and societal expectations, subtly questioning whether Jacky’s downfall is shaped by a world less forgiving of difficult women. For this reason, it would be an interesting pick for any book club. At times, the prose can feel a bit too abstract, but it remains a compelling study of a woman embracing her deeper instincts, in research for her version of perfect reality. Ideal for readers who enjoy character-driven narratives that aren’t afraid to get messy (“Nightbitch”, “Mrs Jekyll” and “The Harpy” come to mind)
Can’t wait to see what Bigg writes next!
4/5 🌟🌟🌟🌟
A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be by Marieke Bigg is a dark, unconventional exploration of identity and obsession that toys with the boundary between psychological and speculative fiction.
The novel centers on Jacky “The Beetle” McKenzie, an architect whose aggressive and self-absorbed behaviour slowly alienates those around her. When she embraces the demeaning nickname “The Beetle,” Jacky’s life spirals into a disconcerting blend of delusion and reality, forcing her to confront the limits of her own perceptions.
If you have read Bigg’s debut novel “Waiting for Ted”, you will be familiar with the thought-provoking writing style. The prose is sharp, lyrical and darkly humorous, easing us into Jacky’s chaotic mind. The character work is impressively nuanced, particularly with Jacky’s complex relationships with her husband, her girlfriend, and ultimately with herself. The shifting perspectives add depth, and the short chapters make the book very easy and quick to read.
The story touches on themes of gender and societal expectations, subtly questioning whether Jacky’s downfall is shaped by a world less forgiving of difficult women. For this reason, it would be an interesting pick for any book club. At times, the prose can feel a bit too abstract, but it remains a compelling study of a woman embracing her deeper instincts, in research for her version of perfect reality. Ideal for readers who enjoy character-driven narratives that aren’t afraid to get messy (“Nightbitch”, “Mrs Jekyll” and “The Harpy” come to mind)
Can’t wait to see what Bigg writes next!
4/5 🌟🌟🌟🌟
September 10, 2024
Oh how I love a good flawed protagonist… and Jacky Mackenzie is just that. She is a logical, rational and very direct ‘starchitect’, known for her minimalism and sharp edges, both in the buildings she designs and in her personality.
Her less than friendly nature hasn’t gone unnoticed with the journalists who have followed her career and they nickname her ‘The Beetle’, a moniker which brings up uncomfortable memories for Jacky of her time at university, struggling to fit in as her peers seemed to misunderstand her at every turn.
Her partner in work and in life, husband Mark, along with her girlfriend Clarissa have stood in her shadow for decades, watching her rise to the very pinnacle of the architecture world and both wondering whether there is actually a space for them in her supremely ordered life. She is not a wholly likeable character, she pushes people away, is blunt and obsessive, but I absolutely loved her. I felt like she was just so incredibly misunderstood and obviously hurting a lot of the time. She spent so much time focussed on work and her achievements in that field that she risks losing the people who could possibly soften her edges.
This was fast-paced, exciting and thought-provoking writing. It’s uncomfortable at times and it’s clear that Jacky is not exactly okay, but I couldn’t stop reading. It’s a darkly funny study of an incredibly complicated character and I loved it!
Her less than friendly nature hasn’t gone unnoticed with the journalists who have followed her career and they nickname her ‘The Beetle’, a moniker which brings up uncomfortable memories for Jacky of her time at university, struggling to fit in as her peers seemed to misunderstand her at every turn.
Her partner in work and in life, husband Mark, along with her girlfriend Clarissa have stood in her shadow for decades, watching her rise to the very pinnacle of the architecture world and both wondering whether there is actually a space for them in her supremely ordered life. She is not a wholly likeable character, she pushes people away, is blunt and obsessive, but I absolutely loved her. I felt like she was just so incredibly misunderstood and obviously hurting a lot of the time. She spent so much time focussed on work and her achievements in that field that she risks losing the people who could possibly soften her edges.
This was fast-paced, exciting and thought-provoking writing. It’s uncomfortable at times and it’s clear that Jacky is not exactly okay, but I couldn’t stop reading. It’s a darkly funny study of an incredibly complicated character and I loved it!
November 2, 2024
In A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be, the author masterfully takes us on an unforgettable journey of introspection and deep reflection. It’s a profound exploration of what it means to be human, with all the raw intricacies of emotion, relationships, and the body itself. The scarab—a symbol loaded with layers of meaning—brilliantly captures the central themes of the story, becoming a powerful metaphor for the elusive and transformative nature of our inner lives.
The prose is both poetic and vivid, drawing readers into a world where each line resonates with emotion and insight. With each turn of the page, we’re invited to question and explore the profound complexities of human connection, identity, and vulnerability. This novel doesn’t shy away from the difficult questions, delving into the beauty and fragility of our bodies, the yearning and uncertainty that comes with love, and the scars, both literal and metaphorical, that shape who we are.
This book is for anyone who’s ever pondered the mysteries of the human condition, felt the tug of complex relationships, or reflected on the way our physical forms intertwine with our sense of self. A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be is a work that will leave readers profoundly moved.
The prose is both poetic and vivid, drawing readers into a world where each line resonates with emotion and insight. With each turn of the page, we’re invited to question and explore the profound complexities of human connection, identity, and vulnerability. This novel doesn’t shy away from the difficult questions, delving into the beauty and fragility of our bodies, the yearning and uncertainty that comes with love, and the scars, both literal and metaphorical, that shape who we are.
This book is for anyone who’s ever pondered the mysteries of the human condition, felt the tug of complex relationships, or reflected on the way our physical forms intertwine with our sense of self. A Scarab Where the Heart Should Be is a work that will leave readers profoundly moved.
January 30, 2025
Bought this to support a local bookshop, shout out dead ink books in Liverpool and admittedly because the cover art was stunning. While streamlining my life to finally read more books instead of doomscrolling, this couldn't have been a more apt book to provide the nuance to that dilemma as she learns to truly breathe after an otherwise highly efficient life.
I enjoyed learning about beetles each chapter and how they perfectly melted into character development and their journeys with well-researched background.
However, lacking self awareness to this degree feels difficult to comprehend and pacing was sometimes a bit odd as a result. I'm also not that interested in love triangle romantic drama so this side of it wasn't for me. Adored the moral questions, reaction vs intention and playing with internal vs external perspectives though.
I enjoyed learning about beetles each chapter and how they perfectly melted into character development and their journeys with well-researched background.
However, lacking self awareness to this degree feels difficult to comprehend and pacing was sometimes a bit odd as a result. I'm also not that interested in love triangle romantic drama so this side of it wasn't for me. Adored the moral questions, reaction vs intention and playing with internal vs external perspectives though.
September 20, 2024
I took a risk buying this when I hadn't heard of the author before now (while the famous forces are more accessible). I'm glad I did. I didn't enjoy every last moment — some of which seems intentional by the author. Will I read their work again? Yes. I deliberately took it slow and steady when I found how consumed I was. I am mostly disappointed it ended so quickly. I can always reread it next week. Thank you MB. This is the palate cleanser I needed. (Kind of an opaque way towards a spoiler... just enough, to get more folk wondering, and then reading the book too!
August 1, 2025
Let's just say i now have a full notebook.
This book is my obsession!
A witty look at the relationship between work, life and relationships. We follow Jacky (the Beetle) whose architectural style of streamlining defines everything in her life. She's truely a girl who cant chill.
This book is my obsession!
A witty look at the relationship between work, life and relationships. We follow Jacky (the Beetle) whose architectural style of streamlining defines everything in her life. She's truely a girl who cant chill.
February 3, 2025
Fucked up women (respectfully) ✅
Advert for lesbianism ✅
Advert for lesbianism ✅
September 8, 2025
Underwhelming.
Read
September 23, 2025for the Dead Ink book club
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews