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Case File Compendium: Bing An Ben (Novel) #4
Case File Compendium: Bing An Ben (Novel) Vol. 4
A TOXIC REMEDYHe Yu and Xie Qingcheng barely escape a harrowing life-or-death ordeal, but with Xie Qingcheng's darkest secrets now exposed, can they ever return to normal? Xie Qingcheng is determined to try, yet the revelations have given He Yu a new, profound understanding of his doctor--and of his own conflicted feelings.
When Xie Qingcheng's sister, Xie Xue, succumbs to a disturbingly familiar illness, He Yu recognizes its sinister origin. Now, he and Xie Qingcheng must join forces once more to unravel the dark mysteries of RN-13, the illegal miracle drug that shattered both their lives.
When Xie Qingcheng's sister, Xie Xue, succumbs to a disturbingly familiar illness, He Yu recognizes its sinister origin. Now, he and Xie Qingcheng must join forces once more to unravel the dark mysteries of RN-13, the illegal miracle drug that shattered both their lives.
476 pages, Paperback
Published February 11, 2025
109 people are currently reading
1191 people want to read
About the author
Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
70 books1,361 followersAssociated Names:
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* Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
* 肉包不吃肉 (Chinese Profile)
* โร่วเปาปู้ชือโร่ว (Thai Profile)
* Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (English Profile)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 146 reviews
March 19, 2025
there is not one ounce of happiness in this series and i feel emotionally drained after that, BUT IT HURTS SO GOOD IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT. the writing is so freaking good, it literally has me by the throat and left me speechless multiple times. there is so many heartbreaking lines and i just CAN'T 😭
i'm going to say it, i love he yu. idk how meatbun has managed to make a character like him lovable. but seriously, i've sympathized with him from the start and i just feel so sorry for him. I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY TOGETHER. the character development was amazing, he yu has come to a lot of realizations and i'm really happy with how his love and obsession is shown. as for xie qingcheng 🥺 this poor baby. we finally got his backstory and it was as devastating as i thought it was going to be, but still NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT 💔
romance wise, we are sure far as hell away from that happening yet. he yu is desperate as ever though and ready to make xie qingcheng his and i loved that. i feel like with regards to xie qingcheng, we did move a smudgeeeeeee romance wise but still VERY far away 💀 like he finally (kinda) initiated and actually WANTED to do things with he yu, instead of he yu being the one first. it's not much, but it is something considering everything else that is going on....
now the waiting game begins again since the next volume doesn't come out until june 😔
pre-read: okay it's time and i'm not ready at all. my heart already feels like it's going to burst and i've only read the first 2 pages.
I JUST SAW THE INSIDE ILLUSTRATIONS AND OMGGGGG I AM LOSING MY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHH I'M SCREAMINGNIGHGDKGHKJHGKGDKAJHGA AHHHHHHGKHGSDIHGKDGDKJSGH!!!! CAN FEB 11 BE HERE ALREADY PLEASEEEEE 😭
i'm going to say it, i love he yu. idk how meatbun has managed to make a character like him lovable. but seriously, i've sympathized with him from the start and i just feel so sorry for him. I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY TOGETHER. the character development was amazing, he yu has come to a lot of realizations and i'm really happy with how his love and obsession is shown. as for xie qingcheng 🥺 this poor baby. we finally got his backstory and it was as devastating as i thought it was going to be, but still NOTHING COULD HAVE PREPARED ME FOR THAT 💔
romance wise, we are sure far as hell away from that happening yet. he yu is desperate as ever though and ready to make xie qingcheng his and i loved that. i feel like with regards to xie qingcheng, we did move a smudgeeeeeee romance wise but still VERY far away 💀 like he finally (kinda) initiated and actually WANTED to do things with he yu, instead of he yu being the one first. it's not much, but it is something considering everything else that is going on....
now the waiting game begins again since the next volume doesn't come out until june 😔
pre-read: okay it's time and i'm not ready at all. my heart already feels like it's going to burst and i've only read the first 2 pages.
I JUST SAW THE INSIDE ILLUSTRATIONS AND OMGGGGG I AM LOSING MY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHH I'M SCREAMINGNIGHGDKGHKJHGKGDKAJHGA AHHHHHHGKHGSDIHGKDGDKJSGH!!!! CAN FEB 11 BE HERE ALREADY PLEASEEEEE 😭
February 13, 2025
The cover art by Danke and the interior illustrations by Boki and Yubuxiu are 🔥🔥🔥. I won't be able to review this adequately so I'll leave that up to others on here who always do such a great job. I have not gotten to the point where I have found my feelings for He Yu but I hope it comes soon because this series is 10 volumes. I do feel sorry for HY and have compassion towards his life circumstances but I love Xie Qingcheng so much I need him protected at all costs 💔
I'm HOOKED but also frequently have thoughts like do I *really* like this (I'm still not over the SA) or am I just obsessed with Meatbun and need to know how she makes this all okay. Of course I like it
I feel like this volume did give me a little relief from the intense pain from vol 3 and I enjoyed getting more of XQ's backstory.
I'm HOOKED but also frequently have thoughts like do I *really* like this (I'm still not over the SA) or am I just obsessed with Meatbun and need to know how she makes this all okay. Of course I like it
I feel like this volume did give me a little relief from the intense pain from vol 3 and I enjoyed getting more of XQ's backstory.
February 14, 2025
“He kissed him so deeply, it was like he wanted them to melt together.
That way, he wouldn’t be lonely anymore.
Neither of them…would be lonely anymore.”
I have absolutely no idea how the author made me love these characters after what happened in the first couple books but it’s an art. Xie Qingcheng’s story is absolutely heartbreaking. It actually made me tear up. He Yu’s character development is so subtly put together. Just saw the cover of the next book, can’t wait for that. The only problem is I’m still not as invested in the mystery as I would like to be.
PS: Andhadhun (whose lead actor used to be teenage me’s favourite actor) being mentioned in a danmei is one of the wildest crossovers of my life😭.
That way, he wouldn’t be lonely anymore.
Neither of them…would be lonely anymore.”
I have absolutely no idea how the author made me love these characters after what happened in the first couple books but it’s an art. Xie Qingcheng’s story is absolutely heartbreaking. It actually made me tear up. He Yu’s character development is so subtly put together. Just saw the cover of the next book, can’t wait for that. The only problem is I’m still not as invested in the mystery as I would like to be.
PS: Andhadhun (whose lead actor used to be teenage me’s favourite actor) being mentioned in a danmei is one of the wildest crossovers of my life😭.
June 16, 2025
“It really doesn’t hurt, Laoshi. Blood and pain don’t mean much to me; what scares me the most is the death of my heart. What scares me is not being able to do anything, to live as a complete waste of space. I don’t want to be like that.”
Case File Compendium: Bing An Ben Vol. 4 is a wild ride, packed with tension, emotional depth, and a whole lot of spice. Meatbun really knows how to build intensity, whether it’s through He Yu’s increasingly unsettling behavior or the layers of Xie Qingcheng’s past unraveling before us. This volume dives deeper into their relationship, and while there’s a connection, it still feels like He Yu doesn’t fully understand Xie Qingcheng—or maybe he just refuses to. That push and pull between them is frustrating, heartbreaking, and completely addicting to read.
What really stands out in this book is how it explores Xie Qingcheng’s past and the choices that shaped him. The more we learn about him, the clearer it becomes that he’s been misunderstood all along. His pain, his sacrifices, and even his flaws make so much sense in the context of his story. And of course, Meatbun doesn’t just give us backstory—she delivers it in a way that hits right where it hurts. There’s a constant sense of contradiction in her writing, making you feel torn between emotions. One moment, you’re sympathizing with a character’s suffering, and the next, you’re questioning their actions entirely.
On top of all that angst, there are still moments of humor, which somehow make everything feel even more gut-wrenching. The side characters are also handled so well—some are only around for a short time, but their impact lingers. And the way small storylines weave together into something bigger is just so satisfying. This book is a rollercoaster of emotions, and even when it hurts, it’s impossible to look away.
Date Read: 2025.03.07
Case File Compendium: Bing An Ben Vol. 4 is a wild ride, packed with tension, emotional depth, and a whole lot of spice. Meatbun really knows how to build intensity, whether it’s through He Yu’s increasingly unsettling behavior or the layers of Xie Qingcheng’s past unraveling before us. This volume dives deeper into their relationship, and while there’s a connection, it still feels like He Yu doesn’t fully understand Xie Qingcheng—or maybe he just refuses to. That push and pull between them is frustrating, heartbreaking, and completely addicting to read.
What really stands out in this book is how it explores Xie Qingcheng’s past and the choices that shaped him. The more we learn about him, the clearer it becomes that he’s been misunderstood all along. His pain, his sacrifices, and even his flaws make so much sense in the context of his story. And of course, Meatbun doesn’t just give us backstory—she delivers it in a way that hits right where it hurts. There’s a constant sense of contradiction in her writing, making you feel torn between emotions. One moment, you’re sympathizing with a character’s suffering, and the next, you’re questioning their actions entirely.
On top of all that angst, there are still moments of humor, which somehow make everything feel even more gut-wrenching. The side characters are also handled so well—some are only around for a short time, but their impact lingers. And the way small storylines weave together into something bigger is just so satisfying. This book is a rollercoaster of emotions, and even when it hurts, it’s impossible to look away.
Date Read: 2025.03.07
July 4, 2025
"Xie Qingcheng pushed him away, again and again, so He Yu stubbornly advanced, again and again. It was just like the way, in their lives, He Yu kept running toward this man, who pushed him away despite his own loneliness, again and again.
Again and again… Again and again. Knocking on the door of his heart."
the category is pathetically desperate yearners and he yu is always at the scene of the crime
Again and again… Again and again. Knocking on the door of his heart."
the category is pathetically desperate yearners and he yu is always at the scene of the crime
February 23, 2025
Hooray for character growth! I'm so glad that He Yu is finally waking up to how much damage he has done. He and Xie Qingcheng are still miles away from anything resembling a healthy relationship, but I think that's what makes this insane story work. I did miss sweet Chen Man in this volume, but a surprise guest filled the jealousy void his absence left behind. I'm happy to be caught up and also relieved to get a little break before volume 5 comes out in June. This was an emotionally taxing binge. I need something fluffy to help my head and heart recover.
February 22, 2025
this volume kinda broke me a bit... HAND OVER THE REST OF THE SERIES RN
July 7, 2025
Xqc's past was not something I expected. It was the first time in a while I didn't get spoiled and got to enjoy the plot as it happened. Is the world healing?😭
This vol gave me plenty of yearner he yu and I loved every second of it. I always love me some good yearning, the more painful and aching it is, the better. And meatbun knows it best😌.
Also, I miss hearing xqc calling he yu his little devil😭.
This vol gave me plenty of yearner he yu and I loved every second of it. I always love me some good yearning, the more painful and aching it is, the better. And meatbun knows it best😌.
Also, I miss hearing xqc calling he yu his little devil😭.
July 13, 2025
let’s go, give me all the drama
February 12, 2025
the truth is out. tbh i read this at the beginning of last year and i might have forgotten most of it, but damn Qin Ciyan and Xie Qingchen's backstory gets me everytime.
February 26, 2025
"If an evil dragon lost the shackles granted to him by a god, what would he do? He Yu's shackles were Xie Qingcheng - he was the demon dragon's kin who could tie him down and restrain his fits of madness. But Xie Qingcheng had fallen."
credo che tra tutti e quattro i volumi usciti, questo sia di gran lunga il mio preferito. devo ammettere che tra le serie di meatbun, bab mi stava convincendo meno (per quanto comunque ami il suo modo di scrivere a prescindere), ma devo ricredermi al 100%.
la prima parte, diciamo abbondantemente i primi dieci capitoli, si focalizzano sul passato doloroso di Xie Qingcheng, che finalmente ci viene spiegato per filo e per segno. ho AMATO tutta la discussione che è stata portata in ballo legata alla figura dei medici, a questa professione che spesso non conosce vita privata e che deve spesso dare, dare, dare senza mai ricevere. il problema dei paziente - molto spesso con problemi mentali, ma anche non - che si rivolgono in modo violento, è così reale e papabile. tutto il percorso di XQC è stato davvero tortuoso, e solo grazie ad una medicina proibita, una vera e propria droga, è riuscito a rimettersi in piedi, nonostante degli impedimenti e al dover rinunciare al suo sogno che, probabilmente, è ciò che lo teneva legato ai suoi genitori in primis.
la RN-13 lega Xie Qingcheng e He Yu in modo indissolubile, adesso. e questo porta He Yu a maturare una nuova consapevolezza, e a trattare in modo diverso Xie Qingcheng, perché ha capito di amarlo. questo sentimento è qualcosa di nuovo per He Yu, qualcosa che non pensava che avrebbe mai provato, vista la sua condizione. questo "cambio di cuore" del nostro draghetto è stato interessante, anche perché ha davvero mantenuto la promessa di non costringere Xie Qingcheng a fare niente che non volesse.
la seconda parte mi ha appassionato un sacco, tanto che ho divorato la metà dei capitoli rimanenti in pochissimo tempo. tutta la parte di investigazioni, dubbi, incertezze e personaggi che sembrano legati a questi eventi che appaiono, ai più, degli incidenti, è veramente ben scritta (come ci si aspetta da meatbun, d'altronde). ho apprezzato la riflessione sui sobborghi di periferia, di come le persone vivano in condizioni incredibilmente diverse e indecenti rispetto alla città (e il fatto che spesso venga sottolineato da He Yu, che viene da una famiglia ricchissima e che è abituato agli agi, è veramente ottimo come contrasto!) ma soprattutto credo che la parte più importante sia stata negli ultimi capitoli, dove viene raccontata la storia di Yi Awen, mi sono molto emozionata e credo sia una delle più forti (però He Yu ha distrutto veramente tutto ciò in cui credeva lol)
menzione d'onore per il capitolo dove He Yu e Xie Qingcheng.. si uniscono lol??? è durato veramente tantissimo ma credo fosse fondamentale per stabilire che entrambi stiano cambiando e che il loro rapporto carnale stia diventando piano piano.. consensuale? nonostante Xie Qingcheng non lo ammetterà mai, per la prima volta ha preso il controllo della situazione e ha ammesso di non aver mai provato emozioni così forti a letto. credo che ci sarà da divertirsi nel prossimo volume, se continuano a non parlarsi in modo onesto (e Xie Qingcheng purtroppo ha una mentalità troppo arcaica, nonostante abbia una relazione di solo sesso con un ragazzo tredici anni più piccolo lol! adoro questo forte contrasto tra la sua personalità e le sue azioni)
BUT !!!! XIE QINGCHENG È RIUSCITO A FERMARE HE YU DAL DIVENTARE UN ASSASSINO e questo è molto più importante di ogni rapporto sessuale or smth! good job meatbun!
4.5 ⭐️ se goodreads ammettesse i mezzi voti, ma credo che arriverà a 5 ⭐️ piene se continuiamo su questa strada. ciò che mi "disturba" è la costante freddezza di Xie Qingcheng e il suo essere ottuso nei confronti di He Yu, che nonostante tutte le sue problematiche, sta cercando davvero di rimediare ed essere "buono" per ciò che lui riconosce come suo "kin". spero vivamente che ci potrà essere qualche passo in avanti anche per lui, perché come personaggio è davvero interessante e nonostante sia stata severa con lui, è il mio preferito lol (anche se capisco al 100% la freddezza, ma purtroppo i'm just a girl who wants romance between them)
menzione d'onore 2: I MINI THEATRE SONO LA VITA!!! TROPPO CARINO!!! 😭 + l'illustrazione del bambino con i tacchi mi sta hauntando da giorni, è così inquietante che spero vivamente diventerà un personaggio ricorrente!
credo che tra tutti e quattro i volumi usciti, questo sia di gran lunga il mio preferito. devo ammettere che tra le serie di meatbun, bab mi stava convincendo meno (per quanto comunque ami il suo modo di scrivere a prescindere), ma devo ricredermi al 100%.
la prima parte, diciamo abbondantemente i primi dieci capitoli, si focalizzano sul passato doloroso di Xie Qingcheng, che finalmente ci viene spiegato per filo e per segno. ho AMATO tutta la discussione che è stata portata in ballo legata alla figura dei medici, a questa professione che spesso non conosce vita privata e che deve spesso dare, dare, dare senza mai ricevere. il problema dei paziente - molto spesso con problemi mentali, ma anche non - che si rivolgono in modo violento, è così reale e papabile. tutto il percorso di XQC è stato davvero tortuoso, e solo grazie ad una medicina proibita, una vera e propria droga, è riuscito a rimettersi in piedi, nonostante degli impedimenti e al dover rinunciare al suo sogno che, probabilmente, è ciò che lo teneva legato ai suoi genitori in primis.
la RN-13 lega Xie Qingcheng e He Yu in modo indissolubile, adesso. e questo porta He Yu a maturare una nuova consapevolezza, e a trattare in modo diverso Xie Qingcheng, perché ha capito di amarlo. questo sentimento è qualcosa di nuovo per He Yu, qualcosa che non pensava che avrebbe mai provato, vista la sua condizione. questo "cambio di cuore" del nostro draghetto è stato interessante, anche perché ha davvero mantenuto la promessa di non costringere Xie Qingcheng a fare niente che non volesse.
la seconda parte mi ha appassionato un sacco, tanto che ho divorato la metà dei capitoli rimanenti in pochissimo tempo. tutta la parte di investigazioni, dubbi, incertezze e personaggi che sembrano legati a questi eventi che appaiono, ai più, degli incidenti, è veramente ben scritta (come ci si aspetta da meatbun, d'altronde). ho apprezzato la riflessione sui sobborghi di periferia, di come le persone vivano in condizioni incredibilmente diverse e indecenti rispetto alla città (e il fatto che spesso venga sottolineato da He Yu, che viene da una famiglia ricchissima e che è abituato agli agi, è veramente ottimo come contrasto!) ma soprattutto credo che la parte più importante sia stata negli ultimi capitoli, dove viene raccontata la storia di Yi Awen, mi sono molto emozionata e credo sia una delle più forti (però He Yu ha distrutto veramente tutto ciò in cui credeva lol)
menzione d'onore per il capitolo dove He Yu e Xie Qingcheng.. si uniscono lol??? è durato veramente tantissimo ma credo fosse fondamentale per stabilire che entrambi stiano cambiando e che il loro rapporto carnale stia diventando piano piano.. consensuale? nonostante Xie Qingcheng non lo ammetterà mai, per la prima volta ha preso il controllo della situazione e ha ammesso di non aver mai provato emozioni così forti a letto. credo che ci sarà da divertirsi nel prossimo volume, se continuano a non parlarsi in modo onesto (e Xie Qingcheng purtroppo ha una mentalità troppo arcaica, nonostante abbia una relazione di solo sesso con un ragazzo tredici anni più piccolo lol! adoro questo forte contrasto tra la sua personalità e le sue azioni)
BUT !!!! XIE QINGCHENG È RIUSCITO A FERMARE HE YU DAL DIVENTARE UN ASSASSINO e questo è molto più importante di ogni rapporto sessuale or smth! good job meatbun!
4.5 ⭐️ se goodreads ammettesse i mezzi voti, ma credo che arriverà a 5 ⭐️ piene se continuiamo su questa strada. ciò che mi "disturba" è la costante freddezza di Xie Qingcheng e il suo essere ottuso nei confronti di He Yu, che nonostante tutte le sue problematiche, sta cercando davvero di rimediare ed essere "buono" per ciò che lui riconosce come suo "kin". spero vivamente che ci potrà essere qualche passo in avanti anche per lui, perché come personaggio è davvero interessante e nonostante sia stata severa con lui, è il mio preferito lol (anche se capisco al 100% la freddezza, ma purtroppo i'm just a girl who wants romance between them)
menzione d'onore 2: I MINI THEATRE SONO LA VITA!!! TROPPO CARINO!!! 😭 + l'illustrazione del bambino con i tacchi mi sta hauntando da giorni, è così inquietante che spero vivamente diventerà un personaggio ricorrente!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 19, 2025
5/5☆
”Xie Qingcheng, I want you. I want you. I want you so damn much, Xie Qingcheng. I want you so much I could die.”
The yearning..oh it hurts
”Xie Qingcheng, I want you. I want you. I want you so damn much, Xie Qingcheng. I want you so much I could die.”
The yearning..oh it hurts
February 18, 2025
4.5 stars
This series will never fail to make me feel. The feelings may frequently be unpleasant, but it is a testament to the author's skill how much I am inevitably affected by what I'm reading.
Whereas the previous volume was a consistent feeling of misery, this volume left me anxious and exhausted. The truly shocking truth about Xie Qingcheng changes everything. He Yu can't truly hate him anymore. And as he deals with what that means for him, he discovers that his own feelings have shifted into something more. My heart just ached for him, this broken character who wants so desperately to be loved. And because he is so unaccustomed to this desire, his actions are frequently childish and pitiful, but still somehow endearing (and occasionally funny).
Xie Qingcheng for very real reasons cannot offer He Yu what he needs, even if ultimately their needs are the same. The necessity of him needing to repress his feelings in the past has translated into the most impenetrable wall around him. There are cracks of course, but it's still going to be a long journey for him.
The overall plot is moving forward as well, and some genuinely unsettling things are happening. I'm scared for these characters, but the author still gives glimpses of hope.
I can never recommend this without plenty of disclaimers, but if you can endure it, it's been a very rewarding read.
This series will never fail to make me feel. The feelings may frequently be unpleasant, but it is a testament to the author's skill how much I am inevitably affected by what I'm reading.
Whereas the previous volume was a consistent feeling of misery, this volume left me anxious and exhausted. The truly shocking truth about Xie Qingcheng changes everything. He Yu can't truly hate him anymore. And as he deals with what that means for him, he discovers that his own feelings have shifted into something more. My heart just ached for him, this broken character who wants so desperately to be loved. And because he is so unaccustomed to this desire, his actions are frequently childish and pitiful, but still somehow endearing (and occasionally funny).
Xie Qingcheng for very real reasons cannot offer He Yu what he needs, even if ultimately their needs are the same. The necessity of him needing to repress his feelings in the past has translated into the most impenetrable wall around him. There are cracks of course, but it's still going to be a long journey for him.
The overall plot is moving forward as well, and some genuinely unsettling things are happening. I'm scared for these characters, but the author still gives glimpses of hope.
I can never recommend this without plenty of disclaimers, but if you can endure it, it's been a very rewarding read.
February 25, 2025
the whiplash i got from this book is astounding. and of course it ends on a cliff hanger. 😭
seriously how do you have like at least 15 mpreg comments in one chapter and the next is like back to “never talk to me again” smdh just admit you’re gay and get on with it
seriously how do you have like at least 15 mpreg comments in one chapter and the next is like back to “never talk to me again” smdh just admit you’re gay and get on with it
July 14, 2025
action packed and emotional rollercoaster, this series is getting better with every single book. i seriously feel so bad for xqc as a kid he went through hell and our he yu just wants a little bit of love. sigh poor dragons. ★: 5
+ i can't help saying this is now in my top 3 danmei series only after ERHA(#1) and tgcf(#2)
+ i can't help saying this is now in my top 3 danmei series only after ERHA(#1) and tgcf(#2)
June 10, 2025
Finally a lot of action. I still feel so bad for He Yu. He only want a little bit of love
February 16, 2025
Volume four did something I thought could never happen: reduced the hostilities between He Yu and Xie Qingcheng. Not easily and completely, but it’s a step in the right direction if one wants a happy ending for the men.
The volume continues from where the previous left, with the men about to drown inside an airtight chamber. Since they think this is their last moment, Xie Qingcheng tells the younger man his greatest secret. It’s nothing I had imagined. And then they’re saved at the last moment. Now that they’re alive, the truth completely changes how He Yu sees him. The same isn’t true for Xie Qingcheng.
They agree to stay apart. Easy for Xie Qingcheng, but impossible for He Yu. Even when Xie Xue falls ill, clearly because of the illegal drug He Yu’s been affected with, Xie Qingcheng doesn’t contact He Yu. But He Yu finds about it anyway and decides to investigate. Eventually, he has Xie Qingcheng roped into it too.
But the shady organisation is constantly one step ahead of them. Every time He Yu thinks he’s about to have a breakthrough, the clue is removed, usually with violence. Until he stumbles onto one that even the masterminds haven’t come to think of. It sends the men to a remote village, which turns out to be the home village of many players they’ve come across so far. It can’t be a coincidence.
As they investigate, they find a crime that has nothing to do with them or the case, but which the perp wants to keep secret anyway. It puts the men in mortal peril once again. The volume ends with a cliffhanger, with Xie Qingcheng on his last breath.
This was the best volume so far. Focus was on the men and their relationship, with only brief glimpses of other players, which weren’t terribly important. He Yu is mostly sane, and while he still wants to force Xie Qingcheng to have sex with him, he manages to stop himself. He’s found a new truth about his relationship with Xie Qingcheng and he has no idea what to do with it. For his part, Xie Qingcheng is starting to see He Yu in new light. Not enough to forgive him yet, but maybe he doesn’t hate him as much anymore. I’m eagerly waiting to find out how that turns out.
The volume continues from where the previous left, with the men about to drown inside an airtight chamber. Since they think this is their last moment, Xie Qingcheng tells the younger man his greatest secret. It’s nothing I had imagined. And then they’re saved at the last moment. Now that they’re alive, the truth completely changes how He Yu sees him. The same isn’t true for Xie Qingcheng.
They agree to stay apart. Easy for Xie Qingcheng, but impossible for He Yu. Even when Xie Xue falls ill, clearly because of the illegal drug He Yu’s been affected with, Xie Qingcheng doesn’t contact He Yu. But He Yu finds about it anyway and decides to investigate. Eventually, he has Xie Qingcheng roped into it too.
But the shady organisation is constantly one step ahead of them. Every time He Yu thinks he’s about to have a breakthrough, the clue is removed, usually with violence. Until he stumbles onto one that even the masterminds haven’t come to think of. It sends the men to a remote village, which turns out to be the home village of many players they’ve come across so far. It can’t be a coincidence.
As they investigate, they find a crime that has nothing to do with them or the case, but which the perp wants to keep secret anyway. It puts the men in mortal peril once again. The volume ends with a cliffhanger, with Xie Qingcheng on his last breath.
This was the best volume so far. Focus was on the men and their relationship, with only brief glimpses of other players, which weren’t terribly important. He Yu is mostly sane, and while he still wants to force Xie Qingcheng to have sex with him, he manages to stop himself. He’s found a new truth about his relationship with Xie Qingcheng and he has no idea what to do with it. For his part, Xie Qingcheng is starting to see He Yu in new light. Not enough to forgive him yet, but maybe he doesn’t hate him as much anymore. I’m eagerly waiting to find out how that turns out.
April 16, 2025
This volume was definitely a lot better than the last couple. It got back to the original story about the ‘terrorist organization’ and spent less time focused on the heated and hateful relationship between He Yu and Xie Qingcheng. I actually appreciate that way more.
Still took me a bit to read as I’m not as invested in the story as some of the others by Meatbun.
————————————
After finishing volume 3 on that cliffhanger I now have so many questions for this cover of volume 4. I simultaneously want to cry myself a room full of water and also bang my head into a ceiling until I’m silent. Gahhhhhh why. What is this. Jellyfish that look like angel wings? Waving goodbye? Take me out of my misery.
Still took me a bit to read as I’m not as invested in the story as some of the others by Meatbun.
————————————
After finishing volume 3 on that cliffhanger I now have so many questions for this cover of volume 4. I simultaneously want to cry myself a room full of water and also bang my head into a ceiling until I’m silent. Gahhhhhh why. What is this. Jellyfish that look like angel wings? Waving goodbye? Take me out of my misery.
March 4, 2025
Tạ Thanh Trình đẩy anh ra, hết lần này đến lần khác, nên Hạ Dư vẫn bướng bỉnh tiến về phía trước, hết lần này đến lần khác. Giống như cách mà trong cuộc sống của họ, Hạ Dư cứ chạy về phía người đàn ông này, người đã đẩy anh ra mặc cho sự cô đơn của chính anh, hết lần này đến lần khác.
Và tôi yêu thích từng chút một. văn phong vẫn đẹp như mọi khi. Hạ Dư khiến tôi cảm thấy nghẹn ngào như mọi khi với trái tim đầy những vết xước của anh và với hành vi làm tê liệt tâm trí của anh, khi anh hành động như một thiếu nữ bất mãn.
Họ là hai con rồng hiểu nhau hơn bất kỳ ai khác, bởi vì họ sẽ luôn cảm thấy xa lạ với người khác. Nhưng ngay cả trong mối quan hệ họ hàng đó, họ vẫn là đối thủ của nhau— một con sẽ liên tục đuổi theo trong khi con kia giữ vững đôi chân trên mặt đất, đó là một trò chơi đẩy và kéo, và không bên nào thực sự chiến thắng….. vì vậy, điều đó làm cho cường độ của câu chuyện trở nên hấp dẫn. Đặc biệt là khi chúng ta có một nhóm người giật dây đằng sau hậu trường.
Trong khi tập trước là cảm giác đau khổ liên tục, tập này khiến tôi lo lắng và kiệt sức. Sự thật thực sự gây sốc về Tạ Thanh Trình đã thay đổi mọi thứ. Hạ Dư không thể thực sự ghét anh ta nữa. Và khi anh ta đối mặt với ý nghĩa của điều đó đối với mình, anh ta phát hiện ra rằng cảm xúc của chính mình đã chuyển thành thứ gì đó lớn hơn. Trái tim tôi cảm thấy đau nhói cho anh ta, nhân vật tan vỡ này khao khát được yêu thương đến vậy. Và vì anh ta quá xa lạ với mong muốn này, nên hành động của anh ta thường trẻ con và đáng thương, nhưng vẫn bằng cách nào đó đáng yêu. 🫣
Vì những lý do rất thực tế, Tạ Thanh Trình không thể cho anh ta hết tình cảm cho Hạ Dư, ngay cả khi cuối cùng nhu cầu của họ là như nhau. Sự cần thiết phải kìm nén cảm xúc của mình trong quá khứ đã biến thành bức tường không thể xuyên thủng nhất xung quanh anh ta. Tất nhiên là có những vết nứt, nhưng đó vẫn sẽ là một hành trình dài đối với anh ta.
•
•
•
Xie Qingcheng pushed him away, over and over again, so He Yu stubbornly moved forward, over and over again. Just like how in their lives, He Yu kept running towards this man, who pushed him away despite his own loneliness, over and over again.
And I loved every bit of it. The writing style was as beautiful as ever. He Yu made me feel choked up as always with his heart full of scratches and with his mind-numbing behavior, when he acted like a disgruntled maiden.
They were two dragons who understood each other better than anyone else, because they would always feel alienated from others. But even in that kinship, they are still rivals—one will constantly chase while the other keeps its feet on the ground, it’s a game of push and pull, and neither side is really winning…..so that’s what makes the intensity of the story so compelling. Especially when we have a bunch of people pulling the strings behind the scenes.
Whereas the previous episode was a constant feeling of heartache, this episode left me anxious and exhausted. The shocking truth about Xie Qingcheng changed everything. He Yu couldn’t really hate him anymore. And when he faced what that meant for him, he discovered that his own feelings had turned into something bigger. My heart ached for him, this broken character who wanted to be loved so badly. And because he was so alienated from this desire, his actions were often childish and pathetic, but still somehow endearing. 🫣
For very practical reasons, Xie Qingcheng couldn’t give all his feelings to He Yu, even if their needs were ultimately the same. The need to suppress his emotions in the past had turned into the most impenetrable wall around him. Of course there were cracks, but it would still be a long journey for him.
Và tôi yêu thích từng chút một. văn phong vẫn đẹp như mọi khi. Hạ Dư khiến tôi cảm thấy nghẹn ngào như mọi khi với trái tim đầy những vết xước của anh và với hành vi làm tê liệt tâm trí của anh, khi anh hành động như một thiếu nữ bất mãn.
Họ là hai con rồng hiểu nhau hơn bất kỳ ai khác, bởi vì họ sẽ luôn cảm thấy xa lạ với người khác. Nhưng ngay cả trong mối quan hệ họ hàng đó, họ vẫn là đối thủ của nhau— một con sẽ liên tục đuổi theo trong khi con kia giữ vững đôi chân trên mặt đất, đó là một trò chơi đẩy và kéo, và không bên nào thực sự chiến thắng….. vì vậy, điều đó làm cho cường độ của câu chuyện trở nên hấp dẫn. Đặc biệt là khi chúng ta có một nhóm người giật dây đằng sau hậu trường.
Trong khi tập trước là cảm giác đau khổ liên tục, tập này khiến tôi lo lắng và kiệt sức. Sự thật thực sự gây sốc về Tạ Thanh Trình đã thay đổi mọi thứ. Hạ Dư không thể thực sự ghét anh ta nữa. Và khi anh ta đối mặt với ý nghĩa của điều đó đối với mình, anh ta phát hiện ra rằng cảm xúc của chính mình đã chuyển thành thứ gì đó lớn hơn. Trái tim tôi cảm thấy đau nhói cho anh ta, nhân vật tan vỡ này khao khát được yêu thương đến vậy. Và vì anh ta quá xa lạ với mong muốn này, nên hành động của anh ta thường trẻ con và đáng thương, nhưng vẫn bằng cách nào đó đáng yêu. 🫣
Vì những lý do rất thực tế, Tạ Thanh Trình không thể cho anh ta hết tình cảm cho Hạ Dư, ngay cả khi cuối cùng nhu cầu của họ là như nhau. Sự cần thiết phải kìm nén cảm xúc của mình trong quá khứ đã biến thành bức tường không thể xuyên thủng nhất xung quanh anh ta. Tất nhiên là có những vết nứt, nhưng đó vẫn sẽ là một hành trình dài đối với anh ta.
•
•
•
Xie Qingcheng pushed him away, over and over again, so He Yu stubbornly moved forward, over and over again. Just like how in their lives, He Yu kept running towards this man, who pushed him away despite his own loneliness, over and over again.
And I loved every bit of it. The writing style was as beautiful as ever. He Yu made me feel choked up as always with his heart full of scratches and with his mind-numbing behavior, when he acted like a disgruntled maiden.
They were two dragons who understood each other better than anyone else, because they would always feel alienated from others. But even in that kinship, they are still rivals—one will constantly chase while the other keeps its feet on the ground, it’s a game of push and pull, and neither side is really winning…..so that’s what makes the intensity of the story so compelling. Especially when we have a bunch of people pulling the strings behind the scenes.
Whereas the previous episode was a constant feeling of heartache, this episode left me anxious and exhausted. The shocking truth about Xie Qingcheng changed everything. He Yu couldn’t really hate him anymore. And when he faced what that meant for him, he discovered that his own feelings had turned into something bigger. My heart ached for him, this broken character who wanted to be loved so badly. And because he was so alienated from this desire, his actions were often childish and pathetic, but still somehow endearing. 🫣
For very practical reasons, Xie Qingcheng couldn’t give all his feelings to He Yu, even if their needs were ultimately the same. The need to suppress his emotions in the past had turned into the most impenetrable wall around him. Of course there were cracks, but it would still be a long journey for him.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 6, 2025
I just love seeing He Yu and Xie Qingcheng's development. The way in which their relationship continues to evolve and the ebb and flow of it is truly so satisfying to read.
Finally getting to the bottom of XQ's secrets was a huge turning point. The fact that HY now understands XQ and regrets ever doubting him and treating him the way he did just makes the angst sweeter and his thought process more believable; also, the fact that he finally admitted he loves XQ was so, so so, GOOD. XQ, for his part, starting to be swayed by HY is such a delight after reading of him being disgusted at worst, and with reason most of the time, and indifferent at best was a welcomed change. It makes so much sense that what he wants is to be chosen again and again to be offered the same care he shows others and that it's HY's obsession and love that will eventually crack him; his heart is already beeing moved by it. Honestly, having a love scene in which both of them willingly participated in was such a treat haha. There's still so much to uncover and things left unsaid between both XQ and HY but things are, slowly but surely, trending in the right direction. I was also quite shocked to learn that Xie Xue has been affected by RN-13. That freaking thing just keeps popping up everywhere and anywhere and creating trouble. I also want to know more about that boy playing, basically, squid game and how he plays into everything else.
Again, such an entertaining story made for the freaks and I'm so glad I have the next volume at the ready. Meatbun truly is so good at managing complicated and problematic storylines, flipping them on their heads and giving characters and tales that make sense throughout all the process it takes for it to get to the end. I am hoping for some sort of sweetness in the next volume even if it's only fleeting given that most things that have been going on since basically the middle of the first book have been quite heavy.
Finally getting to the bottom of XQ's secrets was a huge turning point. The fact that HY now understands XQ and regrets ever doubting him and treating him the way he did just makes the angst sweeter and his thought process more believable; also, the fact that he finally admitted he loves XQ was so, so so, GOOD. XQ, for his part, starting to be swayed by HY is such a delight after reading of him being disgusted at worst, and with reason most of the time, and indifferent at best was a welcomed change. It makes so much sense that what he wants is to be chosen again and again to be offered the same care he shows others and that it's HY's obsession and love that will eventually crack him; his heart is already beeing moved by it. Honestly, having a love scene in which both of them willingly participated in was such a treat haha. There's still so much to uncover and things left unsaid between both XQ and HY but things are, slowly but surely, trending in the right direction. I was also quite shocked to learn that Xie Xue has been affected by RN-13. That freaking thing just keeps popping up everywhere and anywhere and creating trouble. I also want to know more about that boy playing, basically, squid game and how he plays into everything else.
Again, such an entertaining story made for the freaks and I'm so glad I have the next volume at the ready. Meatbun truly is so good at managing complicated and problematic storylines, flipping them on their heads and giving characters and tales that make sense throughout all the process it takes for it to get to the end. I am hoping for some sort of sweetness in the next volume even if it's only fleeting given that most things that have been going on since basically the middle of the first book have been quite heavy.
March 11, 2025
It's such a shame as I am a big fan of Meatbun's other books and if I didn't know I would have been surprised to find out this was written after them both.
Still neither the ML or MC seem to act in a logical way. I get that it's supposed to be part of it as they are both "crazy" but it just makes it frustrating to read.
I was hopeful at the beginning of this volume it started to seem like we were seeing some advancement of the plot and their relationship only for it to reset like three times.
I don't know if this was serialised when it was first published online but it almost felt that way.
Like each "chapter" needed the quotient of bizarre semi violent sex scene so we just end up in a cycle of sexual assault, ML gives in and then immediate regret and cold feeling from the ML after (understandably so) which is somehow still shocking to the MC.
Not to mention the tortuously drawn out dragon metaphor. I had to skip the six or so pages of it at the beginning of the book as I was waiting for the plot to happen.
Idk I can see flashes of the writing I enjoyed in her other books but the disjointed nature of this volume has made my option flat line yet again just when it was starting to get a bit better.
Why am I still reading? I have been recced this so many times there has got to be something I'm missing!
Still neither the ML or MC seem to act in a logical way. I get that it's supposed to be part of it as they are both "crazy" but it just makes it frustrating to read.
I was hopeful at the beginning of this volume it started to seem like we were seeing some advancement of the plot and their relationship only for it to reset like three times.
I don't know if this was serialised when it was first published online but it almost felt that way.
Like each "chapter" needed the quotient of bizarre semi violent sex scene so we just end up in a cycle of sexual assault, ML gives in and then immediate regret and cold feeling from the ML after (understandably so) which is somehow still shocking to the MC.
Not to mention the tortuously drawn out dragon metaphor. I had to skip the six or so pages of it at the beginning of the book as I was waiting for the plot to happen.
Idk I can see flashes of the writing I enjoyed in her other books but the disjointed nature of this volume has made my option flat line yet again just when it was starting to get a bit better.
Why am I still reading? I have been recced this so many times there has got to be something I'm missing!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 13, 2025
XIE QINGCHENG BACKSTORYYY!!! My manzz. After the back story I was really feeling for HeYu. I’m usually team Xie Qingcheng but I was feeling bad for HeYu. HeYu is a jealous Petty lover I can tell. He reminds me of a pouty baby. ‘THAT’ scene was like 50 pages😭😂
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 25, 2025
“It was love. He loved him. He loved this person’s body and heart. He loved this person’s scars and lacerated flesh. He loved his sickly, worn-down body.” hand over the whole series already, I need hexie’s hea
August 6, 2025
It’s looking up from here 🫣🙏🙏
February 19, 2025
That ending piece….damn. And the beginning??? The backstory?? The dark humor, He Yu’s character development, the mystery plot?? The QUOTES—AAAAAA
February 15, 2025
Talk about a slooooow burn. I love this series though and can’t wait for the final volume.
Controversial opinion maybe but this actually has one of the best/my favorite smut scenes of any book in it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway can’t wait for Xie Qingcheng to finally accept his feelings.
Controversial opinion maybe but this actually has one of the best/my favorite smut scenes of any book in it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway can’t wait for Xie Qingcheng to finally accept his feelings.
July 14, 2025
Characters-5
Storyline/Plot-5
Writing-5
Overall-5
OMG!!! This book had me in all the feels. It was so damn emotional, heartbreaking, and addicting!
Storyline/Plot-5
Writing-5
Overall-5
OMG!!! This book had me in all the feels. It was so damn emotional, heartbreaking, and addicting!
September 23, 2025
this volume broke me into million pieces
Read
August 27, 2025Couldn't care less about anything but He Yu and Xie Qingcheng
January 19, 2025
100 chapters in, I honestly wanted to stop for a while because it had affected my mental health. Due to the depressing incidents in the novel, I was also moody, sad, and my thoughts aren’t very nice at that time. But then I remember the two novels I have read from meatbun, so I was like fuck it let’s just roll and trust her. Meatbun is a freaking genius and thjs novel legit tested my trust on her. Hate her love her wanna lock her up in my basement or something!
Anyway, HeXie. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN??? Oh my God. Their love for each other is actually out of this world. They did not just die for each other, they also LIVED for each other. Them having matching nameless tombs is actually the most romantic thing ever and it’s just so sacred because that symbolize their immense love for one another and how much sacrifice they’re willing to do. I hate and love how we saw how they suffered when they thought the other died. It was so gut wrenching. But the sweet reunion tho i was SO HAPPY 🥹🥹🥹 he yu tripping over while running to xie qingcheng like he was 19 years old again!! Everything was worth it 🥹
One of my favorite parts is definitely he yu’s 20th birthday. GOD. When they danced at the bar. XQC being shy because he didn’t know how to dance. HY very willing to teach him. ITS JUST SO INTIMATE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! XQC accompanying his little devil all throughout his birthday and it’s so special because after 20 years that was the first birthday HY actually felt that he was cared for and loved 🥹 even tho deep down he knew XQC was just indulging him bc it was his bday. BUT LITTLE DID HE KNOW XQC WAS ACTUALLY SLOWLY FALLING FOR HIM😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 CANT DO THIS ANYMORE BRO
Both of their characters are very complex. He Yu’s insecurity stems from growing up in a very lonely childhood, having in born mental illness which isolates him from everyone, not having a loving family and having the only person who actually treated him like a normal person leave him so suddenly. He felt that he was worthless, he felt that he was the easiest to abandon. I couldn’t blame him because although he has all the wealth, beauty, and power, what he didn’t have was what he wanted most: companionship and human interactions. That’s what XQC gave him until he left.
What healed me (and HY lmao) was at the end when XQC told him at the letter that he’s very much loved and worthy of having a beautiful life. So despite everything, he must move on and live on. But at that time we all thought XQC was dead, so i was like there’s no way HY is gonna move on. All throughout the book, whenever XQC tries to sacrifice himself and wants HY to move on i always think to myself “bruh if u die, he dies. He’s following u wherever u go”. And never did i once doubt HY because I know no matter how angry, jealous and betrayed he felt, he would never side with Mandela and betray my best man XQC. His love for XQC is engraved in his bones, it’s his nature, his will to live, and his obsession. Speaking of obsession, BRO. He’s fucking insane!!!! NASHSHAHAHAHAH this is not a laughing matter but what the fuck. When I thought he couldn’t get any crazier he proves me wrong every single time.
AND OF COURSE, my best best best best best best man, Xie Qingcheng. THIS BITCH! God i love him. This is Chu Wanning in another font. The way he views himself is just so sad. He’s never lived for himself, he saw himself as a machine. A MACHINE! I can’t believe he genuinely thought IN HIS HEART that once his sister, chen man, and even he yu grow up, he wouldn’t be needed anymore. So he plans his early death. He once again sacrificed his body and soul for the sake of others and research. It’s like his only purpose was for others to use and take advantage from. If he has no “use” anymore, if he has finished the research, if his juniors had finally grew up, he could finally leave this earth. BITCH NO!!! Fuck. Xie Qingcheng im gonna kill u myself istg. U r so selfless to the point of self destruction. And u see nothing wrong with it, because that’s how u trained urself to be. I hate you for that. When he allowed the SA because he thought he owes that to HY. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT???? I get it but GOD. Love yourself for once! Show yourself some compassion like you do for other people. The very first time he was selfish, when he allowed himself to recover to see and be with HY again, it’s like all angels in heaven have gained their wings. I wish he does that often.
And also, he didn’t even allow himself to have feelings. When he realized that he loves HY, what’s the first thing he did? LEFT HE YU. BROKE UP WITH HE YU. THREW ALL THE THINGS HE YU GAVE HIM. Why? Oh because he’s dying anyway so it’s better if he leaves HY now so he could move on sooner and have a better life. He did all that even tho it kills him. Xie Qingcheng, you think you’re heartless, but you’re actually the opposite. Your heart is overflowing with love for other people but you leave nothing for yourself. Even just a tiny bit.
I just love these two so much. I’m done with the hard and depressing parts so now im gonna enjoy the extras!!😋😋😋 SO EXCITED. I hope i see xqc pregnant soon, he yu!
Anyway, HeXie. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN??? Oh my God. Their love for each other is actually out of this world. They did not just die for each other, they also LIVED for each other. Them having matching nameless tombs is actually the most romantic thing ever and it’s just so sacred because that symbolize their immense love for one another and how much sacrifice they’re willing to do. I hate and love how we saw how they suffered when they thought the other died. It was so gut wrenching. But the sweet reunion tho i was SO HAPPY 🥹🥹🥹 he yu tripping over while running to xie qingcheng like he was 19 years old again!! Everything was worth it 🥹
One of my favorite parts is definitely he yu’s 20th birthday. GOD. When they danced at the bar. XQC being shy because he didn’t know how to dance. HY very willing to teach him. ITS JUST SO INTIMATE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! XQC accompanying his little devil all throughout his birthday and it’s so special because after 20 years that was the first birthday HY actually felt that he was cared for and loved 🥹 even tho deep down he knew XQC was just indulging him bc it was his bday. BUT LITTLE DID HE KNOW XQC WAS ACTUALLY SLOWLY FALLING FOR HIM😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 CANT DO THIS ANYMORE BRO
Both of their characters are very complex. He Yu’s insecurity stems from growing up in a very lonely childhood, having in born mental illness which isolates him from everyone, not having a loving family and having the only person who actually treated him like a normal person leave him so suddenly. He felt that he was worthless, he felt that he was the easiest to abandon. I couldn’t blame him because although he has all the wealth, beauty, and power, what he didn’t have was what he wanted most: companionship and human interactions. That’s what XQC gave him until he left.
What healed me (and HY lmao) was at the end when XQC told him at the letter that he’s very much loved and worthy of having a beautiful life. So despite everything, he must move on and live on. But at that time we all thought XQC was dead, so i was like there’s no way HY is gonna move on. All throughout the book, whenever XQC tries to sacrifice himself and wants HY to move on i always think to myself “bruh if u die, he dies. He’s following u wherever u go”. And never did i once doubt HY because I know no matter how angry, jealous and betrayed he felt, he would never side with Mandela and betray my best man XQC. His love for XQC is engraved in his bones, it’s his nature, his will to live, and his obsession. Speaking of obsession, BRO. He’s fucking insane!!!! NASHSHAHAHAHAH this is not a laughing matter but what the fuck. When I thought he couldn’t get any crazier he proves me wrong every single time.
AND OF COURSE, my best best best best best best man, Xie Qingcheng. THIS BITCH! God i love him. This is Chu Wanning in another font. The way he views himself is just so sad. He’s never lived for himself, he saw himself as a machine. A MACHINE! I can’t believe he genuinely thought IN HIS HEART that once his sister, chen man, and even he yu grow up, he wouldn’t be needed anymore. So he plans his early death. He once again sacrificed his body and soul for the sake of others and research. It’s like his only purpose was for others to use and take advantage from. If he has no “use” anymore, if he has finished the research, if his juniors had finally grew up, he could finally leave this earth. BITCH NO!!! Fuck. Xie Qingcheng im gonna kill u myself istg. U r so selfless to the point of self destruction. And u see nothing wrong with it, because that’s how u trained urself to be. I hate you for that. When he allowed the SA because he thought he owes that to HY. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT???? I get it but GOD. Love yourself for once! Show yourself some compassion like you do for other people. The very first time he was selfish, when he allowed himself to recover to see and be with HY again, it’s like all angels in heaven have gained their wings. I wish he does that often.
And also, he didn’t even allow himself to have feelings. When he realized that he loves HY, what’s the first thing he did? LEFT HE YU. BROKE UP WITH HE YU. THREW ALL THE THINGS HE YU GAVE HIM. Why? Oh because he’s dying anyway so it’s better if he leaves HY now so he could move on sooner and have a better life. He did all that even tho it kills him. Xie Qingcheng, you think you’re heartless, but you’re actually the opposite. Your heart is overflowing with love for other people but you leave nothing for yourself. Even just a tiny bit.
I just love these two so much. I’m done with the hard and depressing parts so now im gonna enjoy the extras!!😋😋😋 SO EXCITED. I hope i see xqc pregnant soon, he yu!
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