Choke Up

Forbidden Goals #3

by Rebecca Rathe

Ellis Hope has one goal for his first year at be his own person. He’s determined to break free from his brother Elliot’s shadow, and get over the soul crushing attraction he has for his brother’s best friend. The campus meetup app provides an effective distraction from Gabe and Elliot making waves as the new star players for Huntston University’s baseball team. Gabe Rodgers is loyal to his best friend to a fault, but his thoughts toward Elliot’s smaller, softer twin are anything but brotherly. When he finds out Ellis is meeting hook-ups on a campus meetup app, protectiveness, or maybe possessiveness, drives him to make an anonymous profile. Pretending to be someone else, he finds himself drawn to Ellis more than ever before. But will their connection be as strong when Ellis finds out that his secret meetups have been with the very guy he’s been trying to avoid? And when the blindfold is removed, will either of the brothers be able to forgive Gabe for his deception?

All books in the Forbidden Goals series are standalone and do not need to be read in any particular order.

Genres: M M Romance, Sports, Romance, College, Sports Romance, Friends To Lovers, Contemporary

378 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2024

About the author

Deliciously dirty, delightfully neurotic, ratchet mess of a daydreamer.

See www.rebeccarathe.com for a full list of books, social media, and trigger warnings.

Reviews

[Kati *☆･ﾟ · Rating 5 out of 5]

re-read October 2024

I'll never get over seeing Gabe Rodgers kneeling for me, under me, above me. It's so much hotter than my wildest fantasies, and so much sweeter because it's real.

4.5***** stars


Hell, this girl writes exactly what my filthy little romance dreams are made of. So intense on the tension and the feels. So hot and super smutty. The right amount of drama. The right kind of complicated and forbidden. I FUCKING LOVED THIS. From first to last page.


❤️‍🔥 my brother’s best friend
❤️‍🔥 texting and hooking up with a (presumable) stranger
❤️‍🔥 blindfolds and secret identities
❤️‍🔥 hiding in the dark
❤️‍🔥 dirty talk
❤️‍🔥 gay for you
❤️‍🔥 it’s always been him

"I want to mark you everywhere," I growl. "So anyone that gets to see your pretty little cock knows I was here first."

"You're going to fucking ruin me," he groans against my mouth.
"That's the plan, baby boy.”

****************
Forbidden Goals Series

Book 1 - Head in the Game - 4.5 stars ♡
Book 2 - Man On - no rating
Book 3 - Choke Up - 4.5 stars
Book 4 - The Try Line - skipped
Book 5 - Off Balance - 4.25 stars
Book 6 - Off The Rim - 4.25 stars
Book 7 - Wrap Around - release 07/25
Book 8 - Full Split - release 09/25
Book 9 - Pinned Down - release 12/25

[Evelyn Bella (there WILL be spoilers) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Life must be peachy if you can just tear through people, literally and figuratively and do a whole 'woe is me, I'm so bad' routine, and the other MC is like 'Noooo bb, don't say that. Here, have my ass and feel better.' 🚮

Today I'm here to hate.

On Gabe, mostly, for being such a recurring Dick™ that for most of this book, I could ask myself, 'What's the worst thing this man can do in this situation?'....and be right.

On the plus side, this man exceeds expectations each time. As long as they're in the gutter.

'I just wanted to watch out for him. I needed to know he's being safe. I didn't want anyone lying and manipulating him. Taking advantage of him. Doing exactly what I'm doing to him.'

Mmmmm. Bombastic side eye. Nothing more attractive than an MC who is self-aware enough to know he's doing the wrong thing —then going ahead to do it anyway. No, really. I live to be disappointed in romance MCs.😬

'I love your brother more than I love myself, and his opinion means more to me than either of our happiness.'

Eat him, then? No, like, literally just get out of the other MC's ass(he practically lives there, btw) and go play with your bestie??? Why are you here? Nobody's holding you.

AND TO MAKE IT WORSE, WE CAN'T EVEN HAVE THE ILLUSION THAT HE HAS MIRACLE DICK.

'An ass isn't a pussy. You can't skip foreplay.' I'm going to hold your hand when I tell you this but you can't skip foreplay even with pussy....tell me you're shit at sex in general without telling me you're shit at sex in general.

This man is the best in class (Emotional and Physical War Crimes 101) but he somehow gets off scott-free because the other one is so pathetically down bad for him that he doesn't stand up for himself.

Which brings me to disappointment #2. Ellis. I have a lot of hate left over for this bitch. Never heard of self-respect or having a sense of worth OR knowing when someone's bad for you.

He's treated horribly by Gabe for most of the book but somehow it's always him doing the apology tour? Make it make sense. Begging for scraps of attention each time. I started out feeling a bit bad for him but by the end I'd thrown in the towel. Can't want better for him than he does for himself.

Can't even think, 'If he likes it, I love it.', because what is this fuckery you're into?

**BLOCKED NUMBER: I’m okay with sneaking around, clearly.

HOW ARE YOU OFFERING YOURSELF UP AS A SECRET, and not just that, but you're begging to be considered for it. Gagging for it, even?

Brother, ewwwwwwww!

Ellis gives Gabe SO much unwarranted grace. Case study for the theory that if you advertise yourself as an understanding person, people will give you something to understand. Every time.

Too forgiving by far. I can't get into the details of the vaguely icky crimes Gabe loves to commit without spoilers, but it's....it's a lot.

And Ellis is so into him that he CONVINCES Gabe all of it is okay. There was a War Crime committed at about 50% in or so and I thought.....finally, yes! This is it, surely. Surely this is the point where Ellis finally snaps out of it, and we get a grovel to end all grovels.

Dear reader, it wasn't the point. If anything, that was the point where I lost all respect for Ellis because how does he tear you open, freak out, run away, make it all about him.......and your solution is to badger him(in spite of being blocked, AGAIN) with texts on how it's not his fault and all you have is increased determination to prove to both of you that you can take it?

Honey, no. I kept telling myself that they're just 19, so some of their more.....stupid?....decisions were understandable, but I reached the limit of my understanding.

And to make it worse, I don't even understand the forbidden aspect of this relationship. You're not related. Neither of you is in a position of authority over the other where it could be feasibly suspected that undue influence was at play, you're not cheating, you're just.....*checks notes...his brother's bestie? Outraged gasp. CALL THE POLICE!

THIS was the big motivation for hiding all this while and doing the most shitty things ever?

I now have to ask myself.... Am I the drama? Because this has such great reviews! Am I nitpicking?

Once again convinced that I'm definitely, irrevocably going to die alone if people are out here forgiving this sort of behavior because....nope. Not during my regime, I'll tell you that.

****Caveat that I really liked the writing, and I genuinely couldn't put this down, but it ended up being a hate read because I simply could not stomach either MC and as such I'm not going to give it a higher rating than this.

[kaye taz · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐️
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️.5/5
Format: ebook

I don’t know why it took me so long to write this review, but in the meantime I’ve been skimming through other people’s reviews and y’all are making some compelling arguments… Especially against Gabe.

Unfortunately the smut and general debauchery of this book just did it for me and I’m not taking constructive criticism into consideration at the moment.

Was Gabe an absolute red flag? Yes. Was Ellis the biggest door mat to ever exist? Yes. Do they have any business being in a relationship? Probably not. But, hear me out: that bed chem though.

This is just one of those times the vibes are vibing and the plot means absolutely nothing to me, if there even was one. I was sat and entertained the whole time, so an easy five stars from me.

Reading The Try Line right now. Queen Rebecca never disappoints.

[♡ cal ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

❝ He's right that i felt something, but he doesn't know the half of it. What I feel is more than just physical. I eat, sleep, and breathe thoughts of him. I want to burrow inside him and never come up for air. I want to suffocate in his skin, to drown in his sweat and cum and blood. ❞

Miss Rebecca Rathe is MOTHER, I fear. I loved how she popped out of nowhere and obliterated most mm romance authors. This book is a grower. It just got better and better as I pushed my way through the chapters. With how Gabe consumes Ellis, this book feels more like an omegaverse book without the omegaverse actual branding. The sex? I was fanning myself! 5 stars because it was this collective effort from both Gabe and Ellis and the people around them. Everyone was spectacular.

[KnittingMamaBear-Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

***** 5 stars and 4.5 peppers *****

Yeah, this was everything.
Gabe and Ellis. Yum.
Ellis's twin brother, Elliot, has a straight bestie, Gabe.
Ellis is an art nerd, loner, and gay.
College is the time to explore and come out, and Ellis downloads a hookup app and through it gets with a closeted athlete, while blindfolded. Many times. In the dark, its really hot.

Meanwhile, Gabe is pining away for his best friend's twin.

This has lots of angst, pining, cock warming, untouched 💦, and a HEA.
Rebecca is at it again, the spice was fantastic.
Emotional scenes are fire, and it's pretty much everything you want from a
College M/M romance with some darker themes.

References to breeding, cock warming, absurdly oversized 🍆, and lots of 💦.
Filthy, but highly recommended.

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ellis and Gabe were adorable!!! I love 'brother's best friend' and it's even better if it's a sports romance - this was so, so good!

Gabe's journey of discovering who he is was really enjoyable to read. I loved how he was obsessed with Ellis and needed to be near him all the time. The secrecy and anonymous hook ups in the dark that started their relationship had such strong chemistry and I was getting impatient with Ellis for not figuring out who his secret boyfriend was sooner 😂 I also really liked how Gabe learnt to just feel what he was feeling and not feel guilty about it - the scene with the parents finding out was so sweet too.

I'm also glad there was that scene about their first time having penetrative sex and that it showed what could happen if it went wrong - I don't think I've actually read anything like that before and it was very refreshing. Normally virgin characters seems to immediately become sex gods and have amazing first times and that just isn't the reality for everyone, so I think it was great to see another outcome represented.

I also loved Ellis's brat side 😂 The way he antagonised Gabe and riled him up all the time was really fun to read. I also really liked that Ellis had a backbone - he knew his own mind, he knew what he wanted and he knew his boundaries and I had so much respect for that! I also loved that he had his own friendship group, as well as his brother, Gabe and the baseball team, because so often the secret partner of an athlete seems to only exist in a story just for their relationship or just has one friendship, so I loved to see it.

The epilogue also made this story feel complete - I like that there were no questions or loose ends left and we get to see what they go on to do.

Excited to read the next book!

[Smutty Sully · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't resist a book with baseball even if it isn't the central theme. The hot bat boy, snug baseball pants, and baseball butt plug were great! Also sex everywhere: dugout, equipment room, sauna, locker room showers, laundry room, lobby bathroom.

Full RTC.

Turning slowly, I bend at the waist, putting my elbows on the bed and widening my legs to show him the brand-new butt plug I got for him. One with a round base painted like a baseball and the number thirty-seven on it.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. It was perfect, no notes.

[Kylie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5 ⭐️
3.5/5 🌶️

Tropes + what to expect:
- Baseball romance
- Brother's best friend
- Unrequited love
- Hidden identity
- Cockwarming + breeding

OH MY GOD. THE LONGING, THE ANGST.. whew!

Gabe and Ellis have my whole heart. I loved the sneaking around + the secrets. The spice was INSANE.

GO READ THIS SERIES!

[Iman (hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

ya it’s porn. don’t expect anything else.

[My Dark Romance · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED! This series is fire. And this book is just everything I love in a romance. Secrete relationship, power exchange, dubcon, heated, passionately written and so smutty 😮‍💨

I just can’t over Gabe and Ellis. Holy moly they are the steam-team of the year!

Elliot and Ellis are twins but very opposite. Ellis is the smaller gay twin and Elliot is the baseball jock. Gabe is their best friend they’ve grown up with. Little does Elliot know that Ellis has been in love with Gabe since he was a little and Gabe has always seen Ellis as his (to protect).
But soon their relationship takes a turn when Ellis starts talking to an anonymous admirer on the campus hookup app.

They set up Secret anonymous blindfolded meetups because the jock Ellis is meeting isn’t ready for anyone to know he’s bi/gay. And it gets steamy 🔥

This story is just so wonderful and hard to look away from.
I think this is the first time I’ve ever read someone’s virginity being taken this way and the aftermath of it in an MM and as uncomfortable as it was for Ellis, it just seemed like something a first time bi-awakening couple could happen to. I don’t know, I don’t do butt stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Anyway this series and this book is now one of my MM favorites!

[Jono Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️ / I love that every book in this series lives somewhere between angsty and melodramatic. The way Rathe handles even the heaviest topics honestly deserves to be studied. She somehow makes them addictive, accessible, and at times fun, even when the subject matter is anything but light.

This one is easily the best of the first three. It’s the most well-written, with her strongest characters yet. It’s packed with tension and angst, but it also has this unexpected amount of heart that completely got me.

I really love what Rathe brings to dark romance… the nuance, the emotional intelligence, the balance between pain and pleasure. With each book topping the last, I’m beyond excited to keep going with the rest of the series.

[ivy]

DNF @ 51% - I love the characters but way overwritten

[Christina Sturgill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 5/5 🌟
Spice: 4/5 🌶️
Characters: Gabe and Ellis

I accept that I just have a thing for red flags because I was legit in love with Gabe from the jump and he is definitely tossing out some serious red flags. Jealous, possessive, protective, and slightly obsessive with caretaking. Checks all my boxes.
And look, the breeding kink and cum play got me. What can I say, his kinks match mine 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Brat · Rating 5 out of 5]

steamyyy

really loved this one! so far there has been 3 in this series and i've loved them all! a very dark feel to this forbidden story but still so very romantic! highly recommend

[Shernell Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

New author UNLOCKED!!

This was recommended by tick tok( I am going to miss that app), and the premise was right up my alley. I'm happy to say it was an awesome read.

It felt similar to other mm books, but things happened that were informative that I didn't read in any other books before. Gabe had me a little nervous, especially at the beginning, but he totally redeemed himself. Ellis is too sweet for the world.

Oh yes, I love Ellis friend group

[loverexreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️

Choke Up by Rebecca Rathe is book 3 in the Forbidden Goals series.

I was looking forward to the third book in the series and Choke Up didn't disappoint. Secret identity is a trope that inevitably makes a book more captivating, and it was definitely my favorite part of this story.

Ellis and Gabe's relationship quickly became intense and so sexy. I loved all the discussions they had through their college app. You could feel the complicity between these two and things escalated pretty fast as their exchanges turned increasingly hot. Gabe, who was best friends with Ellis's twin, continued to hide his identity from Ellis as their secret lovemaking moved from the screen to real life. It was at this point that things got messy and I developed a love-hate relationship with Gabe. I wanted to yell at him so many times throughout the book, especially since Ellis was so sweet and adorable. That boy deserved to be protected at all costs. Fortunately, the end of their story did a lot to redeem Gabe.

I also loved Ellis' group of friends. They added a little lightheartedness to the story and a support system that Ellis so desperately needed.

This book was a page turner and I was glued to my kindle from the first page to the last. Rebecca Rathe's books always have that effect on me. Choke Up definitely delivered on the storytelling and the sexy scenes that were scorching hot.

The long excerpt from the next book at the very end made me extremely eager to continue this series.

[♡︎ ˋ°•*⁀➷Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

ˋ°•*⁀➷ 4 ★

”What do you think?”
“I think I’m glad you removed the blindfold. From both our eyes.”

✧*:･ﾟ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 *:･ﾟ✧, is the story between Gabe and Ellis. Ellis has been pining over Gabe his entire life, his brother’s best friend. Then, in college he finally decides to get “over” his crush and be more open to new people so he starts talking to an anonymous guy on an app, not knowing that it actually Gabe. (I promise that’s not a spoiler 😭)

✧*:･ﾟ 𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐞 + 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 *:･ﾟ✧, at the beginning, the tension was definitely angsty and then when they got “past” some issues (big I’d say) it was genuinely so cute reading about them. I loved seeing Ellis make friends and growing. I had a harder time understanding Gabe at first but things did get cleared up afterwards (for me). I’m not the one to be looking for a spicy romance but I didn’t bother me at all but if you’re looking for one that’s the one for sure.

*i received an advanced copy as an exchange of an honest review*

[dil · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25/5⭐️
Since I’ve gotten an ARC i have to keep this spoiler free but this was one of my most anticipated reads of the past months ever since I read the sneak peek in man on and I really wasn’t disappointed! Gabe was my lil stupid son who was just a homosexual softie at heart who did things DEFINETLY the wrong way but he meant well😭 Ellis actually surprised me positively I’m not particularly fond of „twink“ Mcs (also not fond of size differences etc) but I came to love and appreciate him alot. He was very strong and head on and was despite certain insecurities confident in his love and what he and Gabe had. My son wanted that man no matter what and I #respect that. Also the secret identity did not disappoint me, my only niggle is that I wanted more mundane chat messages but I overall really enjoyed the trope and how it all played out. The only reason why this isn’t a 5 stars read for me is that I just needed a little more characterisation of both MCs to really connect with them outside of their relationship (which I really loved they were meant for e/o!) certain aspects that could have fleshed them out better sadly were not worked out n brushed aside. Overall it was a really pleasant read I binged in a day which is nowadays really rare for me which means alot🫶
also sad we won’t get any books of the queer team rlly would have liked a tyrell or sean book sigh

[haletostilinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

✨ 4.5 stars rounded up! ✨

This was certainly a much faster read for me than the previous book in this series. This was firing on all cylinders this go round and I enjoyed it immensely.

Was this actually forbidden? I mean, nah. It didn't even really play into it either. This is "brother's best friend" but said brother, Elliot, isn't even too bothered. Or he doesn't have too big of a reaction when he finds out, and he gets over it soon enough. It would have been juicy if he found out by walking in on them but did that happen? Unfortunately not. I was bummed about that.

Those are the reasons for my .5 stars off. It didn't lean into the forbidden as it should, when it advertised as being such. Even though best friends brother isn't too forbidden or even that scandalous, it should be enough to cause a reaction and drama by the closest one to the situation, the brother. But it ends up being not too big a deal, so that aspect was very disappointing.

But the rest? The rest was oh so good.

Ellis is the twin brother of Elliot, except they aren't identical, and he was born with a heart murmur that made his brother and parents overprotective of him growing up, and he's several inches short than his brother and not as muscly and not the least bit athletic, etc. He feels, sometimes, inadequate to his athletic brother who is become a star baseball pitcher, is very popular and well liked, etc.

He gets bullied, made fun of, by others behind his brother's back and he never tells his brother too.

But Elliot's best friend, Gabe, notices and is there to take care of bullies. Not that he ever tells Ellis he does that, I think.

Gabe is seemingly straight, and has known Ellis has been in love with him for years, and didn't think he felt the same. But at a graduation party, Ellis is further bullied by being rejected at spin the bottle and locked in a closet for who knows how long, and Gabe initially goes in there, in the dark, not saying who he is, and kisses Ellis - and a bit more - while in there.

At first, to make Ellis feel better about the rejection and bullying, but that kiss (and more) ignites Gabe's own feelings for Ellis, and a growing obsession.

Yes, Gabe is red flag city. Once they get to college, he knows who Ellis is the whole time they talk on a school app, and meet up for hook ups in the dark, but Ellis doesn't know who he is for a good while there. He lies to Ellis' face several times.

Ellis eventually figures it out, but once he figures it out, their first time...doesn't go to plan. All the times before that too could be considered dubious consent. There's even one time after Ellis finds out that it's Gabe who is his mystery man that he doesn't tell Gabe he knows, they do sexual stuff with him knowing but not telling Gabe.

And their first penetrative time...Ellis is fairly small for a guy. Average height in general. Definitely small compared to Gabe, who is 6'3" and just huge in general. And also where his dick is concerned too. The first time they're kind of mindless with lust, Gabe has just spit to lube the way, and also he thrusts in once, but all the way, into Ellis, all in one go. One can imagine how painful it would be to take a huge dick like that in one big thrust with very minimal prep with no proper lube...

So yEAH, that happens, and it's a lot. One could say that'd be where any sane person would draw the line. Say no more and walk away. In real life, I'd like to think we would say "fuck that, your huge dick isn't worth all this."

But it's fiction, and we're here for these two, and it's definitely toxic - at least first - but it gets better between them. It probably wouldn't in real life, but I'm here to read some juiciness!

Ellis is very forgiving, and he's just so head over heels in love with Gabe that he seems to forgive...almost anything. He's more pissed about Gabe ghosting him than the act itself. Which, I get. Gabe doesn't get to do that and then run away. He runs away from and avoids his problems too much in this.

But their connection is too strong to deny. Gabe can't stay away from Ellis, even though he knows he should, even if they'd be better off...

Ellis, at the end of it all...just wants Gabe.

Their sex - before the incident - and after is definitely top notch. It was so hot and sexy. I love the idea of the much small Ellis trying to take a man as huge as Gabe. Like man, you're a brave man, Ellis!

The drama (outside of the forbidden aspect which wasn't played up on at all) was good between them and I was invested from start to finish.

This is definitely the top read so far in this series for me. I think I still might like the first couple the most in this series (they just clicked on all levels for me), but these two are definitely my second favorite. But as a whole, this book was written the best so far.

I can't wait to dive into the next one - although why is it listed as the 5th book when it's coming out before the 4th one? Maybe they should be switched to their rightful order - which will be about the two MC's having an affair (while one is married to the other's sister, I think? 😮) and that just screams crazy, high drama so it better lean into it big time! Even though it looks to be about a 100 or so pages less than these other books have been, so I hope it still is able to give us a good story.

Can't wait to dive into it next! 😍

My Ratings for the Forbidden Goals Series:

🔆 Head in the Game: 4 stars (my review)
🔆 Man On 3.5 stars (my review)
🔆 Choke Up: 4.5 stars
🔆 The Try Line: 4.5 stars (my review)
🔆 Off Balance: TBR
🔆 Off The Rim: TBR

[Shelby | Spicy.booknook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Right off the bat (ha!) I knew this story was gonna be one I really liked. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I love a jealous MC, especially when they have absolutely no right to be, or like here, when its hidden and they can't do anything about it and wind up looking like a crazy person. The other reason is the secret identity aspect, because you just KNOW that's gonna lead to some drama.

Ellis was pretty adorable. He loved Gabe pretty much his whole life, but had come to terms that Gabe and that path led to nowhere. Going to college was going to open new avenues for him to explore and get Gabe off the brain. Well obviously that didn't work. Gabe... oh Gabe. Dude was just so filthy, in the best ways. Once he got the swing of things (OMG another pun!) there was no holding him back.

As hot as this was, there were also some really good and tender moments. Ellis' friends were a delight. They always had his back, and helped him through a potentially traumatic experience. The family, both his brother and their parents were a soothing balm to some potential angst. Overall I just really enjoyed this one. These are 100% standalones and as far as I can tell, are not connected in any way.

Contemporary MM
Secret Identity
Best Friends Brother
Artist x Jock
Jealous & Possessive MC
Virgin MC
Breeding Kink
Spice: 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[dj&books · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am completely and uncontrollably in love with this fucking series. Like holy shit! Like my friend said, it’s a guilty pleasure type is series 🫠🥵😍🥰

[Courtenay (ceelovesbooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

The third book in the Forbidden Goals series is here ! And she is SPOICYYYY. 🥵 you guys are not ready for Ellis & Gabes story !

If you know anything about me or this series, you’ll know that Head In The Game is one of my most recommended recent MM reads, and Choke Up might just take its spot !

Gabe and Ellis are childhood friends. Ellis and his twin brother Elliot are family to Gabe. Their parents basically raised Gabe as one of their own, and Gabe owes EVERYTHING he has to Elliot and his family.

Once the boys head off to college, Ellis is determined to make a new name for himself as a confident, gay man, and he joins an online forum for students that a lot of them use for hookups. He starts talking to and meeting up with Johnny, and they form a secret, masked, hidden identity relationship. Who do you think Johnny could be? 👀

Gabe is struggling with his feelings for Ellis and is insistent on convincing himself that he’s just doing everything he can to protect Ellis, and help him find himself like he so desperately wants too. But things get.. well, complicated.

If you know me, you know that I love when a book can throw me for a loop and give me something NEW, and this book did just that. There were a lot of things that just blew my mind and made me GASP. The GASP I GASPED. I can’t wait to tell you all about it 😏

Gabe has some grovelling to do, and grovel he does. The HEA spans TWELVE YEARS in the future for these two, and I love that shiii. I eat that up. No crumbs.

Enjoy this one, friends. This was a bumpy, beautiful ride. 😘 choke up on the bat, and other things..

[Monikat · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the stars
✨✨✨✨✨🪄✨✨✨✨✨
I absofeckinglutley LOVED this book.
It had everything I love in this trope. I mean, come on, secret identity lover is the love of his life. And yes there is an itsy bitsy bit of drama, and a wee bit of pining. And mental health issues. But it's all crazy s xy and so good! 💯
Notes as reading:
Raw and painful and not only physically..😢
Ouch!😵‍💫 (iykyk)

A gorgeous HEA🌈♥️

[itskimmiescorner · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 star. I am def an outlier here. I seriously think I was expecting too much from this book. This is more spice driving. This is 70% spice/erotica/smut and 30% everything else. So if spice is all you want, you will love this.
70% internal dialogues and barely any of it made it to conversations between the two MCs. For knowing each other since kinder, it's very surface level, there was some sweet moments but it wasn't enough for me. Everything in here is sexual even the groveling so again spice is what you want you will get all that here.
First half of the book loved it, second half is where it went down for me. After the dubcon, and how it went down you would expect some major groveling and character development but I didn't find that here, just more sexual content. Also with how much Gabe was afraid of Elliott finding out and hate him, that was such an easy coming out. Even the issues with his mom and his home life was off page. And Ellis, I need him to grow a backbone. So, really I am just expecting too much here. I’m the problem.
First half 4
second half 2ish

[Laura (lady_h_reads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
This is so fucking wrong. But I’m so lost to him, all I want is to peel the blindfold away and look into his eyes as I make him come again and again. For the rest of my life, it’s all I ever want to do.

Rebecca Rathe is why I love the MM-biawakening/gay for you tropes so much. I am drawn to her characters - their emotional roads to self-acceptance, to finding love. The struggles and stumbles as they explore their sexuality.

This book is spicy, but its strength lies in the character and relationship building. I adored Ellis and Gabe, from their forbidden and secret relationship (best friend’s brother!) to their hidden identity trysts. There were some significant missteps as their relationship grew, but they were handled so well.

I would say this is the lightest of the Forbidden Goals series. Still angsty, but not as heavy.

Absolutely loved this book and cannot stop recommending this series to MM romance lovers.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely ate this one up. There’s nothing better than a secret, forbidden relationship, and Ellis and Gabe’s story is scorching hot. I was hooked from the first page and couldn’t put it down until I finished it. The chemistry was crazy hot with these two, I was sad finishing it because I want more from them!

[Kayla Tremblay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brother’s best friend? Check. Secret relationship? Check. Baseball? Not my favorite sport depicted in sports romances but I’ll allow it this time since this story was super sweet ⚾️🎨

[Vishous · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF 61%
I do not like Ellis. I really tried but life is too short. Everytime I picked this up to continue I felt annoyed because I had to read about Ellis.
And first 45% was just plain ridiculous.

[Sofi · Rating 5 out of 5]

“He's right that I felt something, but he doesn't know the half of it. What I feel is more than just physical. It's all-encompassing. Possessive. Obsessive. I eat, sleep, and breathe thoughts of him. I want to burrow inside him and never come up for air. I want to suffocate in his skin, to drown in his sweat and cum and blood.”

The tension, the chemistry, the forbidden aspect and the SPICE! I'm seriously falling in love with Rebecca Rathe's writing, her characters, and the way she makes me feel everything they’re feeling: the longing, the lust, the love. I loved every single trope in this book—twin brother’s best friend, secret hook-ups with a stranger in the dark, “unrequited” love, pure obsession, and that delicious jealousy. Everything was just so freaking good! From the prologue, I was hooked, I honestly couldn’t put the book down and ended up reading it all in one sitting.

Ellis forces himself to sit up, blindly reaching to pull my face to his. "You're going to fucking ruin me," he groans against my mouth. "That's the plan, baby boy.”

“There isn't a part of him I don't want to suck on, but I specifically want to leave marks all around his throat. A necklace to let everyone know he's owned and untouchable.”

“Ellis is mine, even if neither of us understands what's happening between us. Even if he doesn't know who he's telling all his secrets to. Even if it's not my name on his lips as I swallow his cum.”

I know Gabe is a walking red flag, but I’ll always have a soft spot for possessive and obsessive characters and Gabe is the definition of that. The way he just needed to be near Ellis, to touch him, to have him—even when he’d convinced himself he couldn’t? It was intense and addicting. The lengths this man went to just to be with Ellis were absolutely insane... and honestly, so, so hot. I love how completely weak he was for him. Yes, Gabe made a lot of mistakes, but what mattered to me was that he learned from them and truly tried to do better.

“I want Ellis. I can't focus on anything else but how much I want him in every way. It was bad enough before I ever touched him. The curiosity burned like ants under my skin. But the closer I've gotten to him, the more I've let him burrow in. He's fully in my blood now, and I can't stay away.”

“Holding myself completely still is the only way I can quell the trembling in my limbs at his proximity. All I want to do is crowd him into a corner, lift him up, wrap him around my body, and consume him. To steal his breaths and his virginity all at once. To make him mine, even though he could never know it was me claiming him. I can't do that to him. So I don't move at all.”

And then there’s Ellis, I adored him. I loved watching him grow into himself throughout the book. I was genuinely so happy when he finally found good, genuine friends. They were all so unique and interesting that I honestly wish each of them had their own book. The way they supported Ellis, accepted him without question, and helped him feel safe, it was beautiful to witness. I also loved Ellis’s more confident, bratty, and unapologetically slutty side. I loved the fact that he could challenge Gabe, set his own boundaries, and hold his ground. I especially appreciated how he started coming out of his shell, exploring his sexuality on his own terms, in his own way.

“I'll never get over seeing Gabe Rodgers kneeling for me, under me, above me. It's so much hotter than my wildest fantasies, and so much sweeter because it's real. He is mine and I am his.”

“You know I love you, right?" If I wasn't a goner before, I am now. I melt into him, pulling his arms around me tighter. "I've been waiting for you to catch up."

I really liked the dynamic between Ellis and Gabe—both their secret connection and the one they’ve always had. Gabe’s obsession with Ellis was everything, and honestly, it’s kind of wild that almost no one caught on except their parents. The whole secret hook-ups with a stranger in the dark element was so incredibly well done. I was obsessed with how Ellis imagined he was with Gabe, not knowing it was him all along, and how Gabe just needed to hear his real name come out of Ellis’s mouth instead of “Johnny,” the alter ego he created. And the fact that Gabe was jealous of the persona he invented? SO GOOD.

“Every time I was kissing Johnny, I was kissing you in my mind. I was touching you, being touched by you.”

“I'm jealous of each and every friend that has grabbed his hand or eaten lunch with him or fucking made him smile and helped him become this vibrant, open, happy version of himself. Fuck. I'm jealous of fucking Johnny, because he gets to make him feel, whether through text and pictures or by throwing caution to the wind.”

“You liked touching me." The press of his fingers beneath my chin startles me enough to allow him to force my chin up an inch or so. It might be childish, but I can't look at him, so I screw my eyes shut and tense my jaw against the pressure of his touch.
"I know you liked it. I felt it in the way you touched me, in the way you kissed me. In the way you came so hard for me.”

Their chemistry was off the charts. You could feel the sexual tension building between them more and more with each interaction, even when they weren’t fully aware it had always been there. I loved how they matched each other’s level of freakiness so naturally, it just worked. And while I keep talking about Gabe’s obsession (because let’s be real, it was intense), it’s safe to say that Ellis was just as obsessed. Maybe not as loud about it, but it was definitely there.

“Did you get yourself ready for me, baby?" I nod, and then gasp when he pushes his finger in all the way. There's no burn, only the feeling of fullness. His one finger feels almost the size of two of mine. "That's my job," he growls. "I want to be the one to stretch you open, got it?" The way he's pumping his finger inside me is distracting me from his question […] "Got it?" he repeats, and I nod.
"Got it."
"Good boy,”

“Are you sore?"
Honestly, yes. But I kind of love it. "Right now, I'm perfect."
"Can I just…be inside you?"
My jaw hurts from smiling. I push my ass back in invitation, and he lines up. He's only half hard, but he's able to push inside me. He doesn't thrust or move, he just holds me against him, makes himself part of me.

“This is so fucking wrong. But I’m so lost to him, all I want is to peel the blindfold away and look into his eyes as I make him come again and again. For the rest of my life, it’s all I ever want to do.”

One thing I really want to highlight is this author’s incredible ability to create stories that feel real and possible. The characters are so human—flawed, messy, and far from perfect—and I love that. they’re driven by emotion, fear, and mistakes, and that’s exactly what makes them so easy to connect with. In the case of this book, the scene of Elli and Gabe's first time together stands out in a way I’ve never seen before in all the MM romance books I’ve read and trust me, I’ve read many. The way things didn’t go perfectly and the mistakes that were made, it just felt so different, so raw, and so honest. It wasn’t romanticized, it was real.

“Please look at me." He's whispering again, pleading. My eyes flutter open, but I don't focus on him. I can't. "Just one time," he says. "Let me see you just one time." The entire time we were hooking up, I got to have the privilege of seeing him, even if I couldn't look into his eyes. I had the privilege of knowing who I was kissing and touching, while he was left in the dark because I was a coward. I am a coward. "Give me this one time, and if you still want me to leave you alone, I will.”

I’m absolutely loving this series, and this book is definitely one of my favorites so far. I really enjoyed getting to see the continuation of their lives over the years. It made me so happy to see them still together and so in love. What I appreciated even more was that it wasn’t painted as perfect. It was mentioned that things weren’t always easy, that they struggled, but they also learned how to lean into each other, to grow together, and to hold on to their love.

I pepper the insides of his thighs with hickeys so dark, they're obvious even in the dim light. “I want to mark you everywhere," I growl. "So anyone that gets to see your pretty little cock knows I was here first."