“I realise now that you were right. I had fundamentally misunderstood what a migraine is and what it does. The headache is the least of it, only the most explicable part. And the hallucinations: they are themselves a cipher for a shift in perception, the visual aspect of a much deeper disturbance. The ripples on a mirror lake as tectonic plates crash against one another inscrutable and unfathomed, miles below.”
Migraine – Samuel Fisher
Where to even begin… for such a short book, I have a LOT of thoughts!
First, a bit of context, I am a migraineur and basically have been my whole life, having my first migraine attack when I was a toddler. This is exactly what drew me to the book in the first place. Everyone loves to see themselves reflected in literature, right? The blurb promised a post-environmental-disaster London where migraine not only increased but reached epidemic levels, where migraine became a common, almost expected, condition. Other elements included the search for an ex-girlfriend and the companions found along the way.
‘Migraine’ is a short book, only 175 pages, and Fisher tries to do A LOT with very little space. While migraine was certainly present in the story, it was not necessarily at the forefront, nor was it really explained to the reader very clearly. In addition to the migraine epidemic, Fischer created a ruined and dystopian London setting, community building, cult like groups, and technology advancement in the form of neural implants. I was honestly very surprised by the tech elements in the book because they didn’t really seem to add anything to the story (other than the main character’s obsession with “aura shows”, but we’ll come back to that). There was already so much going on that it meant not everything could get fully developed in the way I would have hoped for. The scene setting was beautiful and worked quite well, but the plot and character development (arguably the heart of any novel) just faded into the background, and nothing really happened.
Ultimately, as a migraineur myself, I am in two minds about the book. (1) I appreciate the attempt to bring chronic illness, specifically migraine, into mainstream media. Some of the descriptions, like the quote above, did a decent job of verbalising what it is like to experience migraine. However, (2) the book seemed to romanticise migraine in a way that simply made me uncomfortable. Back to the “aura shows”. Yes, I know we live in a capitalist society, and I imagine in a dystopian world you would have to monetise whatever you could, but why a migraine aura? Why the need to turn something that I would give just about anything to not experience into streaming media/art? Migraine auras, whatever the format (I personally experience ocular and sensory), auras are not cool. They are not sexy. They are not an experience I would ever make someone feel guilty or less than for not having. In fact, they are scary and painful and debilitating. So, let’s try not to romanticise someone’s disability, okay?
All in all, I should have DNF’d this book. It wasn’t for me.
1 star: ⭐