Trauma Proof: Healing, Attachment, and the Science of Prevention

by Benjamin Perks

An expert's inspiring, deeply personal account of how trauma can be overcome.

In recent years the word 'trauma' has become ubiquitous. Yet it remains widely misunderstood. In Trauma Proof international expert Benjamin Perks redefines how we see childhood trauma, and outlines a new path towards healing and prevention.

For 25 years, Perks has worked for the UN and UNICEF on eradicating global barriers to child wellbeing, including poverty, hunger, disease, the mobilisation of child soldiers and population displacement. But he has also been on a personal journey of healing from his own childhood, spent living in the UK's care system and on the streets.

Today, new research is revealing little-known aspects of childhood trauma. It is no surprise that it drives addiction or poor mental health. But how does it explain a heightened risk for heart disease or diabetes? Why does it so comprehensively correlate with poor life outcomes? And how can we not only heal from, but prevent, the types of experiences that negatively impact on child development?

In Trauma Proof, Perks explains the science behind these findings, and argues that making simple changes can break damaging inter-generational cycles. Ultimately, he shows how building secure attachments and improving the quality of your relationships can radically transform your life, at any age.

Genres: Nonfiction

288 pages, Paperback

Published April 22, 2025

Reviews

[Jessica Wirth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great read (or listen for me in this case). The ideas are accessible yet not patronising and engaging without being fear-driven. I found it truly thought-provoking—a must-read for parents, educators, and anyone working with families and children.

[Renée Layman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trauma Proof is a powerful reminder that healing is possible and resilience can be nurtured. Benjamin Perks brings deep wisdom, compassion, and clarity to one of the most important issues of our time—helping break cycles of trauma and unlock hope.

[Susanna Bloderer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Benjamin Perkins spent most of his teenage years in an orphanage in Birmingham, at a time when corporal punishment was the norm. Later on in life he wonders why he ends every romantic relationship before it gets serious and why he feels impostor syndrome in a room full of his peers at UNICEF. When his Eastern European therapist starts working with him, he realises how much unprocessed childhood trauma he has...

As someone who has experienced and is interested in the topic of childhood trauma, I really wanted to like the book. There were good parts, for sure, such as the very personal story of the author's upbringing, the vulnerability he felt upon encountering his adult daughter and the experience of becoming a father for the second time. I think it's laudable that he's seemingly on a mission to eradicate trauma from the world and the information on the ACE score was insightful. Certainly, the ideas of paid maternity leave, with the glorious example of Estonia, seems sensible, as does the abolition of corporal punishment. With all this being said, a newspaper article or at most, a short dissertation would have been more than enough - there was no need for a book.

Why? Don't we need a book on trauma? Yes, but... I found the book either brutally dry and monotone or uncomfortably detailed when it came to some of the child abuse he or his acquaintances experienced. At one point I had just about enough of hearing the details of how the little Jamaican boy was viciously beaten by his mother and grandmother and deserted by pretty much everyone that should've been there for him.

Twice, Benjamin Perks mentions Brené Brown, the vulnerability and shame researcher, and I've just read her work one book ago. If he was trying to copy her style, he failed - his writing style was less engaging, the personal anecdotes were more depressing and I even found the author much less likeable as a person than Brené Brown. I didn't feel like there was much personality to the book at all (with the few exceptions I've named above), mostly everything sounded very clinical and matter-of-fact, as if the author was actively trying to detach himself from the topic (which is ironically likely a trauma response).

In general, the book is depressing. You're going to say "DUH - it's a book about childhood trauma". Yes - but I thought there would be more of a focus on healing and it ending on more of a positive note. I found the book was largely about prevention and focused excessively on individual (negative) fates.

I don't know what to tell you, I had to actively force myself to keep reading. I have to hope that there are better books on the topic and the high rating of this *gestures in Italian* makes me lose my faith in humanity somewhat. I don't recommend "Trauma Proof", then again I haven't found a better alternative (yet)

[Annabel Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

"For most of human history we have not talked about love as a hard-nosed public investment. This is partially because those who grew up feeling loved see it as given, and those who didn't, don't want to talk about it." (Trauma Proof p.296)

Benjamin Perks, in Trauma Proof, tells his personal story of childhood adversity and adult healing and through that lens, recommends a suite of policy and practice reforms to ensure every child grows up feeling loved and safe.

Ben's thinking and approach have piqued my curiosity. As well as advocating a public health-style policy response to childhood maltreatment, which is a compelling idea, he also champions a public awareness campaign to foster conversation about it. As highlighted by the quote above, this implies a personal journey alongside a collective one.

A surprising part of Ben's message is that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are far more widespread than we think. Global studies show 50-80% of children experience at least one ACE - stressful events or circumstances such as abuse, neglect, home-life challenges like mental illness, divorce, substance abuse and violence - and 10-20% experience four or more.

These experiences have a lasting impact on our physical and mental health into adulthood, but despite being so common, are rarely discussed openly. As children we can find them so overwhelming that we suppress them. Often, we blame ourselves and feel ashamed, contributing to taboo and silence. Adverse experiences are mostly passed between generations unknowingly.

Ben explains "for so many of us, breaking the childhood patterns that told us we were unloveable is the foundation of all healing. It is perhaps the most powerful policy innovation to end addiction, crime and violence too." (p.186)

The intersection of our personal and collective journeys can make ensuring every child grows up feeling loved and safe seem overwhelming. But, it could also be our superpower. We've all had an experience of being a child and many of us of being a parent. What an opportunity to build empathy and love into the system of support for children, parents and caregivers.

We've attempted to squeeze emotion out of our systems of policy-making in an effort to make them rational and fair. It's an understandable intent, but I wonder how unemotional human systems can ever really be. Rather than pushing aside our experiences and feelings to design and operate the system, what if we purposefully drew on them instead? As Ben shows us, it can be a powerful path to change.

[Leah Evans · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard Benjamin Perks talk and was inspired to purchase his book. I didn’t actually read the copy I purchased, instead I listened to it on audiobook. Firstly I think the narrators voice was the wrong voice and his style of presenting the text was at odds with the message of the text. The text itself is good and as someone who has an interest in this area it was broad and supported by the lived experience of the author as well as the vignettes. But that said, I think it was at times lacking in nuisance, and connections were made that while quite possibly correct, would not always be so given the information presented. I think too many scenarios were presented where fewer scenarios with more depth would have been better.
Overall, I’m glad I listened to it and I have given my copy of the book to another individual who I think will find it of interest.

[Lucie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this outstanding and inspiring book. This book interweaves a gripping, deeply personal story, with the latest science of attachment and recovery from the childhood traumas that affect so many of us. As I read this, Benjamin Perks took me on his journey from the streets of London's Camden Town, to UNICEF leadership in New York, via Afghanistan and Montenegro, and I learned about simple, clear ways to change stories of neglect and abuse, towards futures of hope. An exceptional read.

[Maria Lu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that this book should be read by all the professionals who work with children so they can see their impact on each child they serve. 
The real-life stories and the facts help me better understand trauma and how I can help others. 
Parents who have experienced trauma should see this book as a source to understand more of how we react and how to learn to be the parents that we want to be for our children.

[Frauke John · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has had a big impact on how I do my job in healthcare and social services. I feel it's easy to understand, and I appreciated the combination of personal stories, research and a look at how societal change can be achieved. I am now passionate about delving even deeper into the subject to see how I can affect change in my field of work.

[Rachel Coy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Slow burn as lots of content was thought provoking and brought up my own demons