Kissing Boys After Dark

by Lillian Empire

In January of 1999, secrets from the past collide with promises of a new beginning.

Shane
Five years ago, I had a secret. A secret my best friend, Everett Sawyer, discovered the night of our high school graduation. Like a coward, I ran away in shame, and completely cut out Everett from my life.
And that also meant cutting out Everett’s younger brother, Ethan.
But when my old friend suddenly and tragically passes away, I can’t help but seize the opportunity to make amends by accompanying Ethan on a road trip to scatter Everett's ashes. But Ethan hates me. He won’t talk to me about anything that happened five years ago.
And the worst part is? Ethan was my secret.
And now he wants nothing to do with me.

Ethan
I’m only tolerating Shane Carraway’s presence on this road trip for the sake of my brother.
Who does Shane think he is? Showing up after five years to come along with me to scatter my big brother’s ashes expecting everything to be all peachy.
Screw him.
But as much as I try to pretend like I don’t care and have everything together, the truth is that I don’t. Shane and I had a secret five years ago.
A secret I never forgot about, no matter how much I tried.
And I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to pretend.

Kissing Boys After Dark is an MM Romance about second chances, grief, and the mysteries of this thing we call life. Expect plenty of 1990s nostalgia, emotional conversations, and plenty of heat in a snowstorm.

Genres: M M Romance, Historical, Second Chance, Forced Proximity, Novella

185 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 30, 2024

About the author

Lillian first attempted to write a novel in the fifth grade but failed horribly. She was born in the mountains of West Virginia, but she was raised in the valleys of Virginia. Lillian majored in history and conducted her primary research on crime and gender in Victorian England. When she’s not writing, Lillian enjoys pretending she has a green thumb, reading gay romance or any type of thriller/mystery, and doing genealogical research on her family. Lillian’s special talents include reciting all US states in alphabetical order and (kind of) singing classical pieces in her mezzo-soprano voice.

Lillian hopes that her stories and characters will resonate with her readers. Want to know what else she’s working on or to send her a message? Visit her website or find her on social media: https://linktr.ee/lillianempire

Reviews

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shane & Ethan
Rating: 3.4 ⭐

- Best Friends Brother
- Just One Bed
- Snowed In
- 1990's Nostalgia
- Second Chance
- Road Trip
- Stolen Moments
- Photography
- Small Town

This couple was inevitable but truths needed to come out for them to find their peace. This is a short and emotional story. The story has a dual timeline, so you jump back and forth from past to present as they remember their time together before Shane ghosted his best friend, Everett, and Ethan. It's been a couple weeks since Everett's funeral and his last wish was to have his ashes spread at certain location. Ethan is going to make the trip for his big brother and Shane wants to go with him, make amends and say goodbye. These two haven't seen each other in five years and there's a lot of guilt and anger between them. Their journey turns into one of forgiveness, for themselves and their past.

"I’ve got a few pictures of Ethan from the side in that envelope. There never seemed to be a bad side or a bad angle to him. I could photograph him all day, doing the most mundane shit ever. The camera loved him, honestly. I think I told him that.

And I think I really meant me."

I was really enjoying this story until the end. This is like 80% good and then the ending just irked the hell out of me. There's so many unanswered questions and scenarios we never get to see play out. I also missed the AOL IM's that the author was teasing the book with. That would've been a great addition, but I did love the computer diary excerpts from Ethan. I think even one or two more chapters would've rounded this out but eh, it's a novella technically so you get more of a HFN ending than a HEA.

Content Warnings:
- Graphic sexual content between consenting adults
- Mentions of homophobia
- Mentions of sibling death (past; off-page)
- Mentions of fatal car accident (past; off-page)
- Mentions of drug use

Verse: Yes
HEA: HFN
POV: Dual
Breakup: Before story starts (5yrs prior)
Cheating: No
OM/OW Drama: No
Ages: 23 & 21

[rinia carla · Rating 3 out of 5]

there are so many questions that remain unanswered.

everett had every right to be mad but shane leaving for 5 years was so dramatic. if everett told anyone i could see why he left but he didn’t even really said anything besides him lying to ethan.

his last email to shane was sad. ethan’s email to shane was also sad.

five whole years down the drain and a kid who is the product of bad decisions. at least they co-parent well.

this feels like it should’ve been two stars but what the hey.

life is a big what if. you never know how it’s going to go.

[Jennifer (sobrietyandbooks) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super unique storyline. I just wish it was longer. I wanted to linger in the emotional moments a bit more. I really enjoyed what we got though.

[Alix · Rating 4 out of 5]

4+ I really enjoyed this short, but very emotional novel - it sure hits you in the feels!

This story is a dual POV and dual timeline. We are first introduced to Shane in the present (1999), now 23yo and a dad to a little girl, two weeks after the funeral of his high school BFF, Everett. It has been around 5 years since he had any contact with Everett or his younger brother, Ethan, who will be leaving town soon to scatter Ev's ashes at their old summer camp as per Everett's wishes. Shane wants to accompany him, but will Ethan let him? Ethan is now around 21yo, smart, finishing up at college in NYC, and is totally emo (loved that), so he's quite a bit different from the boy Shane left behind. We are then introduced to Ethan via his journal that is dated about 8 years earlier (starting in 1991) along with a sense of the history between Shane and Ethan. I really enjoyed seeing how everything developed through this lens and it was done really well - Ethan pines so much for Shane as a young teen! They very slowly develop a secret relationship as older teens - only "kissing in the dark" until Everett finds out.

The novel progresses thus, telling their history via the journal alternating with their road trip in the present. There's a lot of miscommunication, both then and now, and these boys have to work hard to overcome all the hurt feelings from the past as well as the feelings of loss in the present in order to make a clear path forward. It is clear that both boys are grieving, feeling the loss of Everett and for Shane, the time and opportunities wasted in those 5 years to make up with Everett and Ethan. I could really feel their emotions and their grief. Believe me, I cried more than once while reading this book.

I really felt the late 90s in the book (the music, the tech, the way Ethan looks) - that was really great. I do wish I could have felt the love between Ethan and Shane a bit more. I would have also liked just a bit more of them together in the here and now or a bit in the future. Ultimately, though, it was just beautiful - Ethan and Shane? They are inevitable.

Thank you to the author for this ARC - this is my honest review.

[Julia Toth · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5☆

Well, this made me cry. I really enjoyed it and emotions were high.

Ethan and Shane haven't talked to each other in 5 years. At the beginning Shane just alludes to why they haven't talked in 5 years and I kept trying to solve the puzzle of what happened. I was really enjoying the little crumbs of information we got that would help solving the puzzle. I felt like we got a great mix of past and present and we could see what happened in the past, what feelings were there, and we could see them in the present trying to work through the things that happened in the past.
The reason they finally talk and take a road trip after 5 years is not a great one. Ethan's brother, who was Shane's best friend has passed away in a car accident and they embark on a road trip to scatter his ashes. The confines of the car and a motel room with only one bad makes them try to work through what happened 5 years ago. Ethan tries to seem like he's got everything together, but deep down that is not the case. Shane does have to make amends for disappearing without a word because Everett(the brother and best friend) found out about his secret.
Ethan is very resistant and hostile at first, but oast feelings resurface and he finally hears Shane's side of the story. So far he had only heard Everett's side, which was not the truth.
I really enjoyed the nostalgic 90s feel of the book. It was not an easy time for queer people and I understood Shane for trying to keep things a secret. They knew that boys should only kiss boys after dark and in the dark, which felt so sad to me.
Grief was a prominent theme in this book. We had grief over losing Everett, but also grief over losing what they had 5 years ago.
The photographs Shane took felt so important and I was happy that they got such a big part in the book.

If you want an emotional book where you have past and present, and the relationship builds off of that, with some angst and grieving, than this book is for you.

[Courtney Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been wanting to read this since Lillian had been promoting it on Instagram and I finally got the chance! I sat down last night and read it in a couple of hours since it's not very long.

We have Shane, who's best friends with Everett, the big brother of Ethan. But it's Ethan who has always pined after Shane for years as he discovered his sexuality as a young teen. Little did he know it was Shane who had a crush on him, too.

As they grew up, the two boys started to share a secret bond with lots of kisses, without Everett's knowledge. Set in the 1990s, they also keep it a secret from everyone else, afraid to let anyone know. Everything comes to a head with the big brother finds out about their relationship.

Time jump five years later, there's a tragedy, and Shane looks to make amends and fix things.

I actually loved this book. Yes, it was short and I would've loved it longer and more in-depth, but the writing was wonderful. I loved the time jumps through the eyes of a young teen, Ethan and his journaling, always talking Shane. It really brings to light the pining and eventual growing bond between the two boys.

The main points of this story is dealing with grief and second-chances. I loved that it was written in 1990s and I loved reading how Shane and Ethan repaired their bond to come together again and to start over.

[Lana · Rating 4 out of 5]

🌌 Kissing Boys After Dark totally stole my heart! Ethan and Shane’s journey is an emotional rollercoaster—full of old feelings, unresolved tension, and secrets hidden for way too long. Their 5-year separation had me hooked, and when they’re forced back together on this road trip, it’s pure magic. 🌙 There's that perfect mix of "I'm mad at you, but I still love you" that just works! 😭

What really made this book stand out for me was the 90s setting. The nostalgia is real—from the music to the tech—and it really hit home how difficult it was being gay back then. 🌈 The boys' fear of being open about their relationship, the need to keep everything in the dark, really added a deeper layer of emotion. It wasn’t an easy time to love who you love, and the story doesn’t shy away from that. 💔

The dual timeline was also a great touch, slowly revealing their past while they try to make sense of their present. And that road trip? Forced proximity done right! 👀 I would’ve loved a bit more time with them in the now, but that slow burn was definitely worth it. If you're into emotional, angst-filled romances with a nostalgic twist, this is the one. 🔥

[Brad Secrest · Rating 5 out of 5]

As it is with shorter stories, the feel has to be just right. And, with this story... it is just right. The characters are brimming with life... even the dead ones. The timeline of the story jumps between Winter of 1999 and the early 90's. Two guys reunite when the person who brought them together to meet in the first place dies early in life from a fatal car wreck. Shane and Ethan go together to take Everett's ashes to a summer campground that he and Ethan used to go to as kids. The campground is in the lower part of Virginia and they start the trip in upstate New York midwinter. Shane abruptly left Ethan and Everett when Everett found out Shane was gay and had eyes for his younger brother, Ethan. It kept these two from each other, but Everett, even in death, is able to bring them back together. The story is well-crafted written in the first person for both characters in both timelines and in the present tense for both timelines. That was different, but it played well. I highly recommend this to anyone looking to get lost in a good story love story.

[Kirsten · Rating 2 out of 5]

He's dealt a bad hand,
but he's way too cowardly.
Didn't buy the love.

I absolutely adored Lillian Empire's Still Summer Nights and I really hoped for another hit here. But this wasn't even half that book. The prose wasn't nearly as lyrical, and the sense of place and time (which Empire and I both lived through!!!) wasn't strong. Shane listened to Radiohead, and Ethan wore eyeliner (shock!), but that's about it. And my daughter listens to Radiohead and some of her male and non-binary friends wear eyeliner.

I didn't love the baby mistake, or the dead brother conceit or ESPECIALLY the BIPOC ghost who brought imparted her wisdom. Ethan lost his brother but seemed to be barely grieving, and Sawyer was focused on getting Ethan back, not reflecting on what he and Evan had been through.

There are much better road trip books out there. I was just really disappointed.

[Lauralee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arc review!

Ethan and Shane grew up together, with Shane being the best friend of Ethan’s older brother, Everett. Shane and Ethan had a secret that Everett discovered five years prior, and Shane immediately ended any and all contact with Ethan. Five years pass, and Everett dies in a car accident. Shane has a lot of unresolved feelings as he decides to go on the trip with Ethan to spread Everett’s ashes. Will they be able to work it out?

Oh my LORD. This book made my heart feel like it was in a vice in the best way. It’s so incredibly close to my heart because I lost someone in a car accident. The grief both of the guys are feeling and the comfort they find in each other? It’s beautiful. The 90s nostalgia? Unreal. I hope everyone reads this book. It’s just a wonderful second chance love story.

[M's ☆~HEA~☆ · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s altogether strange and wonderful and heartbreaking to see the three of us together like that. Innocent kids, with no idea of what the future holds, just being kids, just living for that afternoon that I don’t even remember now.

My crying started at 12% in and I realized I needed to switch from tear prevention to tear management. I was a large ugly crying & gasping mess.

Beautifully written, told through present day dual POV, flashbacks & old emails, photographs, and beloved music. Every character held my heart and I sobbed for my own memories and for the sadness that inevitably finds all of us in this world. This is the type of epic love story I would have loved to see written as at least 300 pages longer💙

[2am_book_readers · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lovely, mostly angst free, read. Shane has some making up to do, and after he loses his once best friend, he decides to join a road trip to scatter Everett's ashes.
Ethan, Everett's brother, isn't too keen on this idea as there is a lot between them that has never been resolved. Some sneaky teenage kisses and stolen moments together, that meant so much more to both of them than they ever admitted.
I really enjoyed the peeks back to Ethan as a young teen with his computer diary entry's.
I also liked the book being set in 1999, as there was such a different outlook towards those in the queer alphabet.
If you enjoy an enjoyable, quick read then this is definitely a book for you

[read_with_lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC review

This was a beautiful emotional read.

You meet 3 boys who grow up together Shane and his best friend Everett Sawyer and Ethan Sawyer (the little brother of Everett)

The story is about Shane & Ethan, who loses contact for years after Everett finds out about their secret crush for each other.

But death finds the family Sawyer, and Shane & Ethan are meeting again.. but now they are no teenagers anymore. The have both a different life, Ethan is very angry, Shane is feeling guilty.

The road is difficult and heartbreaking, all the feelings are in this book. You will laugh and cry.

I don't have enough of Ethan & Shane, I need more !!

[Lexi Truitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a sweet but sad book. The hidden secret moments between Shane and Ethan were so sweet, but how everything happened was heartbreaking. It was crazy reading this as if it were the 90’s and remembering things that aren’t around anymore. Like seriously, how did we survive without gps and cell phones? 🤣 It was sad that Ev’s death is what it took to bring these two back into each other’s lives, but they were there when they both really needed each other the most. I loved the special twist in it too. Really good and I would definitely recommend.

[Amanda Grange · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, you need tissues. I was SHATTERED through most of Kissing Boys. Sobbing through some scenes. It's hard not to hate Everett while he obliterated two hearts. No, three. He lost his best friend to his prejudice. Juanita was unexpected. This story was magic. Heartbreaking, but pure magic. The ending was perfect. I know I will think about this book, and how it made me feel, for a long time to come.

[Valentine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kissing boys after dark

This was a new to me author and this was a sweet second chance romance story. Although it was an enjoyable read, I felt like the chemistry between the main characters was slightly on a low level and the epilogue too rushed. Still enjoyable though.

[ashtin. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Equal parts heartbreaking and heartwarming 💜

Shane and Ethan were such a good pairing

—brother’s best friend
—second chance romance
—grief and loss
—healing together

[Wendy Franz · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC Review!

I loved this book. The hurt between the characters is raw and felt so deeply. The comfort they share as they navigate a traumatic experience is open, raw and loving. Their emotions towards each other are on the surface of all their interactions.

After 5 years of not speaking Shane and Ethan are thrown together because of a loss that affects them both deeply. Shane wants to explain the past and why he ghosted Ethan, Ethan doesn't want to hear it.

Will this time together heal old and new wounds? only time will tell.

I actually wish there had been more. I loved the story and would highly recommend it, I just wish we saw more into the future. I wish we had more from Everett's email although I guess that is part of the point when it comes to this story. Sometimes we make decisions and never get full closer because of life.

[B. Valdez · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay. I rated it at three star more to be neutral. It's not that I disliked it, but I didn't love it either. I enjoyed reading it and learning what had happened between the two main characters and seeing them rebuild their relationship. I do feel like there was too much left unsaid in the end, too many loose ends still hanging open. The writing was nostalgic to the 1990s with plenty of references only '90s kids would get. I do recommend reading and maybe you'd like it more than I did.