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This Is Me Trying
In this contemporary coming-of-age YA novel, a teenage girl navigates a romance with an older boy when they're cast as the leading roles in their school's production of Romeo and Juliet.
When Brooke and Matt are cast as romantic leads in their school’s theatre performance of Romeo and Juliet, they don’t mean to actually fall in love.
Secrets and lies seem a small price for Brooke to pay for a relationship with an older guy, until they take their relationship to the next level one night in an empty auditorium. After she learns of the illegality of Matt’s actions, Brooke’s anxiety reaches breaking point and she makes a decision that changes her life forever.
Years later, Matt is reunited with Brooke, desperately seeking redemption. But what sense can they make now of a love that never did run smoothly?
Exploring mental health, co-dependency, and the blurred lines of sexual consent, this captivating debut recounts a young woman’s journey to independence as she strays beyond all she has ever known to confront her traumatic past.
Previously published as Can I Stray.
When Brooke and Matt are cast as romantic leads in their school’s theatre performance of Romeo and Juliet, they don’t mean to actually fall in love.
Secrets and lies seem a small price for Brooke to pay for a relationship with an older guy, until they take their relationship to the next level one night in an empty auditorium. After she learns of the illegality of Matt’s actions, Brooke’s anxiety reaches breaking point and she makes a decision that changes her life forever.
Years later, Matt is reunited with Brooke, desperately seeking redemption. But what sense can they make now of a love that never did run smoothly?
Exploring mental health, co-dependency, and the blurred lines of sexual consent, this captivating debut recounts a young woman’s journey to independence as she strays beyond all she has ever known to confront her traumatic past.
Previously published as Can I Stray.
432 pages, Paperback
First published October 11, 2022
9 people are currently reading
386 people want to read
About the author
Jenna Adams
1 book21 followersJenna Adams lives in London and writes from her third-floor flat which is covered in plants. Jenna is passionate about exploring mental health, consent, and codependency in her writing. You can find out more about her work on Instagram (@jennadamsbooks), TikTok (@jennadamsbooks) or her website, www.jennaadamswriter.com.
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April 22, 2025
✨️ ARC REVIEW✨️
This Is Me Trying by Jenna Adams
Publication date: 17th July 2025
There needs to be a description bigger than "rollercoaster of emotions " because this??? This was messy, heartbreaking and anger point thought provoking. I wasn't rooting for the couple in fact I'm very conflicted in terms of review and rating this book, this book wasn't just "a age gap romance story". While I wasn't intending to side with neither of the FMC or MMC, the ending felt disheartening to me in a sense that the FMC was the one who had moved on and the MMC was left with the guilt baggage, this felt unreasonable and dare I say "unfair" (?) Because they were both at fault yes Brooke was only 14 but nothing was forced on her, Matt was clear from the get go, he has his own flaws and a shit ton of faults too but the way the book ended was unfair on his behalf.
Plot Summary
Brooke, a 14-year-old girl who's just trying to find her place in the world. When she lands the role of Juliet in her school play, she finds herself drawn to her much older co-star, Matt—a charming 18-year-old who sees something in her no one else does. What starts off as rehearsals and shared lines turns into something far more complicated—and inappropriate. As Brooke navigates the blurred lines of trust, manipulation, and young love, the story jumps between past and present, showing us how those early experiences shaped her life. Years later, when she crosses paths with Matt again, everything she's buried threatens to resurface.
Thanks to Unbound & NetGalleyfor the ARC
This Is Me Trying by Jenna Adams
Publication date: 17th July 2025
There needs to be a description bigger than "rollercoaster of emotions " because this??? This was messy, heartbreaking and anger point thought provoking. I wasn't rooting for the couple in fact I'm very conflicted in terms of review and rating this book, this book wasn't just "a age gap romance story". While I wasn't intending to side with neither of the FMC or MMC, the ending felt disheartening to me in a sense that the FMC was the one who had moved on and the MMC was left with the guilt baggage, this felt unreasonable and dare I say "unfair" (?) Because they were both at fault yes Brooke was only 14 but nothing was forced on her, Matt was clear from the get go, he has his own flaws and a shit ton of faults too but the way the book ended was unfair on his behalf.
Plot Summary
Brooke, a 14-year-old girl who's just trying to find her place in the world. When she lands the role of Juliet in her school play, she finds herself drawn to her much older co-star, Matt—a charming 18-year-old who sees something in her no one else does. What starts off as rehearsals and shared lines turns into something far more complicated—and inappropriate. As Brooke navigates the blurred lines of trust, manipulation, and young love, the story jumps between past and present, showing us how those early experiences shaped her life. Years later, when she crosses paths with Matt again, everything she's buried threatens to resurface.
Thanks to Unbound & NetGalleyfor the ARC
July 13, 2025
This Is Me Trying by Jenna Adams
4.5/5 stars
This book is such a wild rollercoaster of heavy, difficult and destructive emotions and topics. It deals with love, sexual abuse, rape, depression, narsacists, self harm, codependancy, feeling lost and trying to take care of yourself when there is nothing left in your soul to hang on to.
The book starts with 14-year old Brooke who lands the role of Juliet in a play of Romeo and Juliet. 17-year old (who turns 18) Matt is cast as Romeo. And he instantly notices how young Brooke is. She is quiet and he decides to become her friend and make her feel more at ease. Young Brooke instantly falls for Matt and she longs for him with a certain desperation. Matt is in a relationship with someone else. But they break up because he isn't ready to have s**ual relations with her yet.
The more Matt talks to Brooke, the more he realizes he truly can be himself with him. And he starts to fall for her. He constantly tells himself she looks older than she is. And they start to kiss and hang out. He forces Brooke to keep quiet. Because he knows how nobody else would understand a relationship between a 14-year old and an 18-year old.
Their relationship is shaky from the start. Matt hurts her time and time again. And he finds it difficult to set clear boundaries with females around him. They seperate and when they see each other again they realize how much they missed each other and start to make out. Before they know it they have sex and both are in utter shock. Brooke is shocked, and suddenly she is driven to convince Matt that it was okay, that she wanted it and liked it even. Matt doesn't know what to do with himself. And regret pierces both their souls fiercely.
Brooke's entire 14-year old life revolves around Matt. And Matt is just floundering through life. He does so many things that hurt her soul and I think Brooke was already prone to depression. But the things he does drives her into cutting herself and almost killing herself.
I think they both genuinely love each other. But Brooke tries her best to appear older. Which all teenage girls do. And Matt feels rather young. But even though he feels young. He knows instantly that what he does is wrong. So I do hold him accountable.
And that is what this story is about. It's about two people whose entire world revolves around the other person. They are both codependent on each other.
4 years pass and when Brooke is 18 they see each other again. He promises him one date and Matt instantly plans their entire future. But when he wakes up she's gone. And suddenly her entire family blames him for her disappearance.
Brooke left for the USA. And my heart broke for her those first few months. A girl, totally broken, doesn't know what she does or why she does it. Hoping that every person she meets will heal her. People use and abuse her and she is utterly lost. Until Charlie helps her and things change for the better.
But her past still haunts her. She tries to push it all away. But it's always there, always lingering, always haunting her.
This book focuses heavily on accountability. It focuses heavily on other people who saw how close Matt and Brooke got, should have interfered and stepped in to stop it. It focusses on Matt and if he understands that what he did might have been wrong. It focusses on a girl, a young woman who is lost, who got used her entire life. It is such a complicated story with so many layers.
At first I almost rooted for them to be end game. But the author brilliantly weaves a nauseating feeling of disgust through the story and the actions of all the characters in this book. And in the end I was like.. do I hate Matt for it? And a part of me wants to say no. Matt was utterly lost and broken and stuck in his life. His life stopped when she disappeared. But the only one who was responsible for him being stuck was himself.
That conversation between him and Meg was so poignant. Him admitting things and lying about others to save his own skin. I truly believe he isn't a paedophile. And that he made a monumental mistake in the end. So I think after the book ends.. he needs to find a way to navigate that guilt and pain.
I wish his conversation in the end was longer with Brooke. But the shortness of it also shows Brooke's growth.
And my Lord Brooke's character arc is one of the best I've ever read. The leaps she makes in the end are ginormous. I am so f**king proud of her. She is fierce and strong and admirable.
I felt Charlie's pain throughout his entire story line. But I hope he knows and understands why she does the things she does in the end. And that he was monumental in helping her heal eventually.
I think this story and this book will stay with me forever. It is so damn powerful, painful and agonizingly gut-wrenching. But I think it's also an important book for middle grade students to read. To learn and understand what consent is. And where the responsibility lies when you fall for someone so much younger than you are.
4.5 huge stars for this stunning story.
4.5/5 stars
This book is such a wild rollercoaster of heavy, difficult and destructive emotions and topics. It deals with love, sexual abuse, rape, depression, narsacists, self harm, codependancy, feeling lost and trying to take care of yourself when there is nothing left in your soul to hang on to.
The book starts with 14-year old Brooke who lands the role of Juliet in a play of Romeo and Juliet. 17-year old (who turns 18) Matt is cast as Romeo. And he instantly notices how young Brooke is. She is quiet and he decides to become her friend and make her feel more at ease. Young Brooke instantly falls for Matt and she longs for him with a certain desperation. Matt is in a relationship with someone else. But they break up because he isn't ready to have s**ual relations with her yet.
The more Matt talks to Brooke, the more he realizes he truly can be himself with him. And he starts to fall for her. He constantly tells himself she looks older than she is. And they start to kiss and hang out. He forces Brooke to keep quiet. Because he knows how nobody else would understand a relationship between a 14-year old and an 18-year old.
Their relationship is shaky from the start. Matt hurts her time and time again. And he finds it difficult to set clear boundaries with females around him. They seperate and when they see each other again they realize how much they missed each other and start to make out. Before they know it they have sex and both are in utter shock. Brooke is shocked, and suddenly she is driven to convince Matt that it was okay, that she wanted it and liked it even. Matt doesn't know what to do with himself. And regret pierces both their souls fiercely.
Brooke's entire 14-year old life revolves around Matt. And Matt is just floundering through life. He does so many things that hurt her soul and I think Brooke was already prone to depression. But the things he does drives her into cutting herself and almost killing herself.
I think they both genuinely love each other. But Brooke tries her best to appear older. Which all teenage girls do. And Matt feels rather young. But even though he feels young. He knows instantly that what he does is wrong. So I do hold him accountable.
And that is what this story is about. It's about two people whose entire world revolves around the other person. They are both codependent on each other.
4 years pass and when Brooke is 18 they see each other again. He promises him one date and Matt instantly plans their entire future. But when he wakes up she's gone. And suddenly her entire family blames him for her disappearance.
Brooke left for the USA. And my heart broke for her those first few months. A girl, totally broken, doesn't know what she does or why she does it. Hoping that every person she meets will heal her. People use and abuse her and she is utterly lost. Until Charlie helps her and things change for the better.
But her past still haunts her. She tries to push it all away. But it's always there, always lingering, always haunting her.
This book focuses heavily on accountability. It focuses heavily on other people who saw how close Matt and Brooke got, should have interfered and stepped in to stop it. It focusses on Matt and if he understands that what he did might have been wrong. It focusses on a girl, a young woman who is lost, who got used her entire life. It is such a complicated story with so many layers.
At first I almost rooted for them to be end game. But the author brilliantly weaves a nauseating feeling of disgust through the story and the actions of all the characters in this book. And in the end I was like.. do I hate Matt for it? And a part of me wants to say no. Matt was utterly lost and broken and stuck in his life. His life stopped when she disappeared. But the only one who was responsible for him being stuck was himself.
That conversation between him and Meg was so poignant. Him admitting things and lying about others to save his own skin. I truly believe he isn't a paedophile. And that he made a monumental mistake in the end. So I think after the book ends.. he needs to find a way to navigate that guilt and pain.
I wish his conversation in the end was longer with Brooke. But the shortness of it also shows Brooke's growth.
And my Lord Brooke's character arc is one of the best I've ever read. The leaps she makes in the end are ginormous. I am so f**king proud of her. She is fierce and strong and admirable.
I felt Charlie's pain throughout his entire story line. But I hope he knows and understands why she does the things she does in the end. And that he was monumental in helping her heal eventually.
I think this story and this book will stay with me forever. It is so damn powerful, painful and agonizingly gut-wrenching. But I think it's also an important book for middle grade students to read. To learn and understand what consent is. And where the responsibility lies when you fall for someone so much younger than you are.
4.5 huge stars for this stunning story.
April 7, 2025
THANK YOU NETGALLERY FOR THE ARC!!!
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
⤷ minimal spoilers (quotes)
» [wouldve could’ve should’ve] «
0:13 ─〇───── 4:20
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
“If I was some paint, did it splatter
On a promising grown man?
And if I was a child, did it matter
If you got to wash your hands?”
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬: THIS BOOK IS LITERALLY THE SONG WOULDVE COULDVE SHOULDVE. WORD FOR WORD. AH. i think this book is a good book but honestly it was really long and serious and i’m not a huge fan of realistic fiction so that’s prob why i didn’t like it, but it’s a very good book! you either like this book or you don’t because of the age gap but i thought it was okay! <3
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞:
”I used to think I was smart
But you made me look so naive
The way you sold me for parts
As you sunk your teeth into me, oh”
i’m really happy for her, she needed to go back to her family. i really hope she has a better life now! i think that if i was her family member and she came back, i would immediately welcome her back and act the way lucy did (no disrespect to amy because i completely understand her feelings). in no way was this her fault (the matt part).
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭:
*insert drake song here*
cmon matt? as the ADULT in the relationship he should’ve stopped it. idc if u “love” her, ur not healthy for her. i blame him for her mental illness, he is terrible. he likes um young. I CANT BELIEVE HE WAS A TEACHER?? ;(
🥀˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖🥀
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝: ignoring all my other unread arcs and current reads to read this one because it is named after a taylor swift song and has a pretty cover 😀🔫
★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
⤷ minimal spoilers (quotes)
» [wouldve could’ve should’ve] «
0:13 ─〇───── 4:20
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
“If I was some paint, did it splatter
On a promising grown man?
And if I was a child, did it matter
If you got to wash your hands?”
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬: THIS BOOK IS LITERALLY THE SONG WOULDVE COULDVE SHOULDVE. WORD FOR WORD. AH. i think this book is a good book but honestly it was really long and serious and i’m not a huge fan of realistic fiction so that’s prob why i didn’t like it, but it’s a very good book! you either like this book or you don’t because of the age gap but i thought it was okay! <3
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞:
”I used to think I was smart
But you made me look so naive
The way you sold me for parts
As you sunk your teeth into me, oh”
i’m really happy for her, she needed to go back to her family. i really hope she has a better life now! i think that if i was her family member and she came back, i would immediately welcome her back and act the way lucy did (no disrespect to amy because i completely understand her feelings). in no way was this her fault (the matt part).
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭:
*insert drake song here*
cmon matt? as the ADULT in the relationship he should’ve stopped it. idc if u “love” her, ur not healthy for her. i blame him for her mental illness, he is terrible. he likes um young. I CANT BELIEVE HE WAS A TEACHER?? ;(
🥀˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖🥀
ೃ⁀➷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝: ignoring all my other unread arcs and current reads to read this one because it is named after a taylor swift song and has a pretty cover 😀🔫
March 19, 2025
I don't even know where to start. Wow the emotional rollercoaster that this book took me on. This is a story I know I will remember for a very long time. So many themes revolved around this story such as: Age gap relationship, Statuary rape, Self harm, Suicide, Depression, Mental health.
The story focuses on the FMC starting at age 14 and the MMC starting at age 18 following them all the way until they are well into their 20s and all the struggles they navigate in life based off the many choices that were made from beginning to the end.
This was a YA, but so very thought provoking. I found myself often times reflecting on my own life choices as a teen till now while reading this story. The chapters were very short which made this a very easy read. The story was very captivating and with every page something new was taking place. I could not put this down. So glad I was given this ARC through NetGalley I cannot wait for everyone to read this!
The story focuses on the FMC starting at age 14 and the MMC starting at age 18 following them all the way until they are well into their 20s and all the struggles they navigate in life based off the many choices that were made from beginning to the end.
This was a YA, but so very thought provoking. I found myself often times reflecting on my own life choices as a teen till now while reading this story. The chapters were very short which made this a very easy read. The story was very captivating and with every page something new was taking place. I could not put this down. So glad I was given this ARC through NetGalley I cannot wait for everyone to read this!
July 6, 2025
This was a tough book to get through solely because of the extremely heavy topics it's evolved around. With stating that, please check trigger warnings and make a decision that's best for your mental health before diving into this one. I think this one is geared towards YA, but it does have a few s3xual scenes, an 18 y/o with minor, self-harm, suicidal attempts, and depression. But with that said, I think this was a tragic, heartbreaking yet beautiful novel. It was interesting to see it from both POVs, but I felt so deeply for the FMC. She was so young and went through so much in her lifetime. Though, I did appreciate seeing her character development throughout the story. It was a lot to read through, but it all wrapped up nicely.
I received this ARC from NetGalley and Neem Tree Press to read/review. All of the statements above are my true opinions after fully reading this book.
I received this ARC from NetGalley and Neem Tree Press to read/review. All of the statements above are my true opinions after fully reading this book.
April 27, 2025
1.5
tw: statutory r*pe, mental health discussions, self harm, suicide attempt
i simply could not get over the writing in this. i know both characters are young, especially brooke, and there's definitely an improvement throughout the book, but overall it felt overly juvenile and repetitive.
it's a book meant to make you uncomfortable, but you're also expecting some accountability and real consequences, and then you're left hanging. makes you ask yourself, 'what was the point?'
thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the arc in exchange for a honest review
tw: statutory r*pe, mental health discussions, self harm, suicide attempt
i simply could not get over the writing in this. i know both characters are young, especially brooke, and there's definitely an improvement throughout the book, but overall it felt overly juvenile and repetitive.
it's a book meant to make you uncomfortable, but you're also expecting some accountability and real consequences, and then you're left hanging. makes you ask yourself, 'what was the point?'
thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the arc in exchange for a honest review
Want to read
January 15, 2025🪩 ┆ʚ 𝐩𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 ♡
guys the ts title?? got the arc!!
guys the ts title?? got the arc!!
October 5, 2022
*4.5 stars (rounded up) ((though honestly I was dithering, maybe more like 4.75))
Content Warnings: statutory rape, toxic relationships, suicidal idealation, self harm, substance abuse, depictions of depression
When 14 year old Brooke is cast opposite almost 18 year old Matt in Romeo and Juliet, the pair end up as forbidden lovers both on and off stage. Years later, they reunite, this time both adults having reckoned with the true nature of their relationship somewhat, though not fully. Can I Stray, while it follows both Brooke and Matt, is a story about Brooke's journey towards independence and overcoming her trauma.
So in the little letter that was sent out with ARCs of this book, Jenna Adams writes that she starting writing this novel as a 14 year old with a crush on an older boy. It was originally a love story, but as Adams grew up, it became an examination of consent and healthy relationships. Now having read the book, this makes a lot of sense! You can absolutely see the author's growth through Brooke's narration.
Honestly, I'm so impressed by this book. The subject matter here is really heavy and complex, and this novel is a really nuanced look at the issues it examines. Brooke and Matt are both very well fleshed out characters. It would be easy to make them - Matt especially - very one dimensional, but this is absolutely not the case. Though I certainly didn’t like him, his character was still a really fascinating one, and he felt very real. And gosh, I love Brooke. I wanted to give her a hug so bad (and her mum). As someone with lived experience of depression, a lot of Brooke's experiences with it resonated, and I really feel like the depiction of the illness in this book was done very well. I also think this book has one of the best depictions of therapy I've ever read - definitely there was a lot of good to take away from it.
Overall, this is a really excellent debut novel. It's a very skillful and empathetic look at the complexities of teenage relationships and mental health. I'd definitely recommend it.
Thank you very much to Jenna Adams and Neem Tree Press for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
Content Warnings: statutory rape, toxic relationships, suicidal idealation, self harm, substance abuse, depictions of depression
When 14 year old Brooke is cast opposite almost 18 year old Matt in Romeo and Juliet, the pair end up as forbidden lovers both on and off stage. Years later, they reunite, this time both adults having reckoned with the true nature of their relationship somewhat, though not fully. Can I Stray, while it follows both Brooke and Matt, is a story about Brooke's journey towards independence and overcoming her trauma.
So in the little letter that was sent out with ARCs of this book, Jenna Adams writes that she starting writing this novel as a 14 year old with a crush on an older boy. It was originally a love story, but as Adams grew up, it became an examination of consent and healthy relationships. Now having read the book, this makes a lot of sense! You can absolutely see the author's growth through Brooke's narration.
Honestly, I'm so impressed by this book. The subject matter here is really heavy and complex, and this novel is a really nuanced look at the issues it examines. Brooke and Matt are both very well fleshed out characters. It would be easy to make them - Matt especially - very one dimensional, but this is absolutely not the case. Though I certainly didn’t like him, his character was still a really fascinating one, and he felt very real. And gosh, I love Brooke. I wanted to give her a hug so bad (and her mum). As someone with lived experience of depression, a lot of Brooke's experiences with it resonated, and I really feel like the depiction of the illness in this book was done very well. I also think this book has one of the best depictions of therapy I've ever read - definitely there was a lot of good to take away from it.
Overall, this is a really excellent debut novel. It's a very skillful and empathetic look at the complexities of teenage relationships and mental health. I'd definitely recommend it.
Thank you very much to Jenna Adams and Neem Tree Press for sending me an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
February 24, 2025
I could not put this book down.
This was such a beautifully flowing book, that was was so so intense. I loved seeing the progression and butterfly effect, and the writing style was really amazing.
There is this mix in this book- I love seeing the dual pov- seeing her perspective where she’s too naive to fully understand the consequences and his perspective where he’s really struggling with everything. But also I, as a sixteen year old can’t even imagine liking a fourteen year old the idea of an eighteen year old liking a fourteen year old that is giving me every single bit of heebie jeebies there is! But I do think having it portrayed how it is has been really interestingly done.
I do feel like This is a really great teen/YA novel because it portrays the issues of these sorts of relationships really well, a lot of the time that younger teens can’t really see.
Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this arc earlier ☺️
This was such a beautifully flowing book, that was was so so intense. I loved seeing the progression and butterfly effect, and the writing style was really amazing.
There is this mix in this book- I love seeing the dual pov- seeing her perspective where she’s too naive to fully understand the consequences and his perspective where he’s really struggling with everything. But also I, as a sixteen year old can’t even imagine liking a fourteen year old the idea of an eighteen year old liking a fourteen year old that is giving me every single bit of heebie jeebies there is! But I do think having it portrayed how it is has been really interestingly done.
I do feel like This is a really great teen/YA novel because it portrays the issues of these sorts of relationships really well, a lot of the time that younger teens can’t really see.
Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this arc earlier ☺️
October 5, 2022
This story follows essentially the love story between Brooke and Matt. The relationship is doomed and problematic from the start with Brooke being 14 and Matt 18.
The story is captivating. And set so well I steamed through the chapters and loved how it was set through 3 different age ranges.
This book really made me think about sex and relationships in your teenage years. And how grown up I thought I was at 14. It made me identify with Brooke all the more.
Throughly enjoyed this book - if you can enjoy something with such emotive topics.
The story is captivating. And set so well I steamed through the chapters and loved how it was set through 3 different age ranges.
This book really made me think about sex and relationships in your teenage years. And how grown up I thought I was at 14. It made me identify with Brooke all the more.
Throughly enjoyed this book - if you can enjoy something with such emotive topics.
May 5, 2025
Thank you to Netgalley and Unbound Publishing for access to this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I'm giving this one 1.5 stars.
A coming of age YA novel that explores deeper topics such as depression, codependency, and toxic relationships.
"This is me trying" is primarily a story about a 14-year-old girl named Brooke who gets into a relationship with 18 year old Matt. Not only is their relationship unhealthy for obvious reasons, but Brooke also struggles with feelings of anxiety and depression.
The story is being told from both Matts and Brookes' perspective, and there are time gaps. Both characters get older as we read on.
The story takes a turn when Brooke decides to leave everyone behind when she turns 18 and moves to another country where she tries to become an independent person and confront her traumatic past.
I wanted to like this book, but I don't think it worked for me. The writing seemed very juvenile, which worked in the beginning when the characters were still young, but not later on. I love YA, but the characters were incredibly unlikeable, and their actions were selfish. It actually made it hard to get through the book.
I've read another review where someone pointed out this book is meant to make you uncomfortable which is true, but there being no resolution or consequences for any of the characters actions doesn't sit right with me.
I also don't feel like either character really grew as a person, neither was I rooting for them or relating to either. (And this is coming from me, someone who does struggle with anxiety and depression)
Overall, I can not recommend the book. Some of the themes seem a little too heavy for a YA novel (the statutory rape as well as there being no consequence for it), but the writing is too immature to be classified as an Adult book.
I've forced myself to read this because I was approved for the ARC, but if I picked this out of my own volition, I would have DNFed it a long time ago.
I'm giving this one 1.5 stars.
A coming of age YA novel that explores deeper topics such as depression, codependency, and toxic relationships.
"This is me trying" is primarily a story about a 14-year-old girl named Brooke who gets into a relationship with 18 year old Matt. Not only is their relationship unhealthy for obvious reasons, but Brooke also struggles with feelings of anxiety and depression.
The story is being told from both Matts and Brookes' perspective, and there are time gaps. Both characters get older as we read on.
The story takes a turn when Brooke decides to leave everyone behind when she turns 18 and moves to another country where she tries to become an independent person and confront her traumatic past.
I wanted to like this book, but I don't think it worked for me. The writing seemed very juvenile, which worked in the beginning when the characters were still young, but not later on. I love YA, but the characters were incredibly unlikeable, and their actions were selfish. It actually made it hard to get through the book.
I've read another review where someone pointed out this book is meant to make you uncomfortable which is true, but there being no resolution or consequences for any of the characters actions doesn't sit right with me.
I also don't feel like either character really grew as a person, neither was I rooting for them or relating to either. (And this is coming from me, someone who does struggle with anxiety and depression)
Overall, I can not recommend the book. Some of the themes seem a little too heavy for a YA novel (the statutory rape as well as there being no consequence for it), but the writing is too immature to be classified as an Adult book.
I've forced myself to read this because I was approved for the ARC, but if I picked this out of my own volition, I would have DNFed it a long time ago.
March 11, 2025
I’m not sure where to begin, Firstly I’ll address the elephant in the room.. I definitely don’t feel this like this book should be marketed as teens/YA/coming of age… I feel the themes are quite dark and even though the FMC is 14 years old, the issues within the read are better suited to older teens, or at least advanced emotional maturity.
There’s a lot going on, and I love how the author touches on serious topics of mental health, self love, consent and toxic relationships. I just felt that the delivery wasn’t quite there for me. It’s a decent sized book, but I had moments where I felt like parts were missing, they start at 14 and 18 years of age and that made me quite mad, a bit grossed out… maybe that was the intention..
There’s a huge graphic scene of self harm which is quite confronting.
Even though it wasn’t a perfect read for me, it’s very thought provoking with very contentious/confronting topics.. thanks NetGalley for the opportunity to review this arc.
There’s a lot going on, and I love how the author touches on serious topics of mental health, self love, consent and toxic relationships. I just felt that the delivery wasn’t quite there for me. It’s a decent sized book, but I had moments where I felt like parts were missing, they start at 14 and 18 years of age and that made me quite mad, a bit grossed out… maybe that was the intention..
There’s a huge graphic scene of self harm which is quite confronting.
Even though it wasn’t a perfect read for me, it’s very thought provoking with very contentious/confronting topics.. thanks NetGalley for the opportunity to review this arc.
January 5, 2024
*Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy of this book to review!*
I have gone on a massive ramble here, but it was so hard to keep my thoughts succinct when I had so much to say so I’ve just blurted it out word vomit style. Apologies in advance to anyone brave enough to try and decipher what I’m trying to say, haha.
I really struggled with this book because on the one hand I think I can really appreciate what it was going for and the emotional weight behind a book like this, but if I’m being honest with myself I didn’t personally get along with it at all and struggled with several aspects I didn’t think were executed very well.
The first issue I ran into was with the writing and its basic nature. It read, especially at the beginning, as very juvenile. One of the reviews on here has said the author started writing the book when she was 14 and in the nicest way possible, I do think you can tell. I don’t know if it was an intentional choice to keep it that way to reflect the naive nature of Brooke, but it didn't really work for me. I think it fell flat in that attempt if that was the intention because every other character who has a voice also came across as quite childish and immature in their thoughts and speech patterns as a result. And I’m not sure of the target audience for the book, but it didn’t feel mature enough in tone for anyone above young adult. It read as very middle grade and cliche, which wasn’t my cup of tea or what I wanted nor expected from a book with such difficult subject matter.
To give it some credit, I do think the writing improves the longer the book goes on, but those first hundred or so pages were difficult to push through. It adopted a very tell and not show style of narration, and I don’t think the first person perspective was really helping that. A lot of the descriptions felt quite rambly and nonsensical, just a way to pad the story out with pointless information or anecdotes. Like, why are you telling me your friends can't come out because their mother needs taking a hospital because a leg of lamb fell on her? It was so random. I also didn’t really like having a dual perspective for the story, I think I can kind of get what she was going for with giving us Matt’s perspective but it didn’t add anything of value to me, and it took away from the focus being on Brooke and her hurt.
The book was also ridiculously dry and plot wise, and I don’t think it needed to be as long as it is. The plot points here are really repetitive so we spend the majority of the book following the characters doing a whole lot of nothing over the years. It just didn’t engage me, it didn’t feel like anything was happening that kept my attention, and it was really slow. I think it faltered in introducing the main meat of the story far too prematurely, rode that high, and then kind of dragged it out for the rest of the book.
Matt and Brooke were fine as characters, but I do think they were quite flat and lacking in personality. I also think there was absolutely no character development from either of them which was such a shame and did the story a massive disservice, because from beginning to end I really don't think either of them grew and the book didn’t really do anything with the topics it was presenting.
I don’t really feel like Matt ever actually acknowledged anything or it was ever directly discussed in detail how messed up it all was. Brook seemed in the end to have reached a stage of acceptance and skipped everything in between and kept talking to him and giving him the time of day, which I thought was nuts. After everything Brooke in particular goes through, I just didn’t envision her journey taking that path and I really wanted something more from and for her by the end to be honest. I know survivors of similar stories all have different ways of coping and moving forward, but here I don’t even think Brooke to the very last page really thought Matt was remotely a bad person or had done anything wrong or caused damage. It was just so weird to read. Obviously it’s supposed to be an uncomfortable and thought provoking book, but after all that when there isn’t a period of resolution or justice it leaves a sour sort of taste in my mouth.
I think the characterisation of Matt made everything even worse. Why, after all this time could he not leave her alone and was still saying he loved her and wanted to be with her? It just didn’t make any sense to me why they were still so obsessed with the other, and Matt could seemingly never grow up or move on. He was a legal adult and she was a child, just because she’s an adult now doesn't make it any less weird that you’ve continued to pursue her? And he works with kids!!! It was horrible to constantly read his internal monologue saying how wrong he thought he was and how he was going to stop and find sense, only for two pages later he forgot everything he’s ever said and continued anyway. And he never really sits and has any deep thoughts or conversations with anyone about his feelings, nothing is actually explored in depth or considered from different angles. It’s just very surface level in my opinion. At no point in the book is there ever serious or in depth consideration for events, it just skips ahead without pondering.
I just really don’t think this book did what it was setting out to in regards to the subject matter at all. It’s clearly a very personal opinion and can fluctuate on experience, but I was left so frustrated and disappointed with the ending and how it played out, and the characters actions still being deplorable and difficult to find motive for.
I have gone on a massive ramble here, but it was so hard to keep my thoughts succinct when I had so much to say so I’ve just blurted it out word vomit style. Apologies in advance to anyone brave enough to try and decipher what I’m trying to say, haha.
I really struggled with this book because on the one hand I think I can really appreciate what it was going for and the emotional weight behind a book like this, but if I’m being honest with myself I didn’t personally get along with it at all and struggled with several aspects I didn’t think were executed very well.
The first issue I ran into was with the writing and its basic nature. It read, especially at the beginning, as very juvenile. One of the reviews on here has said the author started writing the book when she was 14 and in the nicest way possible, I do think you can tell. I don’t know if it was an intentional choice to keep it that way to reflect the naive nature of Brooke, but it didn't really work for me. I think it fell flat in that attempt if that was the intention because every other character who has a voice also came across as quite childish and immature in their thoughts and speech patterns as a result. And I’m not sure of the target audience for the book, but it didn’t feel mature enough in tone for anyone above young adult. It read as very middle grade and cliche, which wasn’t my cup of tea or what I wanted nor expected from a book with such difficult subject matter.
To give it some credit, I do think the writing improves the longer the book goes on, but those first hundred or so pages were difficult to push through. It adopted a very tell and not show style of narration, and I don’t think the first person perspective was really helping that. A lot of the descriptions felt quite rambly and nonsensical, just a way to pad the story out with pointless information or anecdotes. Like, why are you telling me your friends can't come out because their mother needs taking a hospital because a leg of lamb fell on her? It was so random. I also didn’t really like having a dual perspective for the story, I think I can kind of get what she was going for with giving us Matt’s perspective but it didn’t add anything of value to me, and it took away from the focus being on Brooke and her hurt.
The book was also ridiculously dry and plot wise, and I don’t think it needed to be as long as it is. The plot points here are really repetitive so we spend the majority of the book following the characters doing a whole lot of nothing over the years. It just didn’t engage me, it didn’t feel like anything was happening that kept my attention, and it was really slow. I think it faltered in introducing the main meat of the story far too prematurely, rode that high, and then kind of dragged it out for the rest of the book.
Matt and Brooke were fine as characters, but I do think they were quite flat and lacking in personality. I also think there was absolutely no character development from either of them which was such a shame and did the story a massive disservice, because from beginning to end I really don't think either of them grew and the book didn’t really do anything with the topics it was presenting.
I don’t really feel like Matt ever actually acknowledged anything or it was ever directly discussed in detail how messed up it all was. Brook seemed in the end to have reached a stage of acceptance and skipped everything in between and kept talking to him and giving him the time of day, which I thought was nuts. After everything Brooke in particular goes through, I just didn’t envision her journey taking that path and I really wanted something more from and for her by the end to be honest. I know survivors of similar stories all have different ways of coping and moving forward, but here I don’t even think Brooke to the very last page really thought Matt was remotely a bad person or had done anything wrong or caused damage. It was just so weird to read. Obviously it’s supposed to be an uncomfortable and thought provoking book, but after all that when there isn’t a period of resolution or justice it leaves a sour sort of taste in my mouth.
I think the characterisation of Matt made everything even worse. Why, after all this time could he not leave her alone and was still saying he loved her and wanted to be with her? It just didn’t make any sense to me why they were still so obsessed with the other, and Matt could seemingly never grow up or move on. He was a legal adult and she was a child, just because she’s an adult now doesn't make it any less weird that you’ve continued to pursue her? And he works with kids!!! It was horrible to constantly read his internal monologue saying how wrong he thought he was and how he was going to stop and find sense, only for two pages later he forgot everything he’s ever said and continued anyway. And he never really sits and has any deep thoughts or conversations with anyone about his feelings, nothing is actually explored in depth or considered from different angles. It’s just very surface level in my opinion. At no point in the book is there ever serious or in depth consideration for events, it just skips ahead without pondering.
I just really don’t think this book did what it was setting out to in regards to the subject matter at all. It’s clearly a very personal opinion and can fluctuate on experience, but I was left so frustrated and disappointed with the ending and how it played out, and the characters actions still being deplorable and difficult to find motive for.
July 18, 2025
This Is Me Trying is an emotional rollercoaster of a read charting the co dependency of Brooke and Matt, who meet in their teens at drama club. What starts as a friendship develops with the alarming gulf of their ages being the central focus - Brooke is 14 and Matt 17 when they first meet, but crucially, when their relationship moves on, he is 18 years old and she remains a child.. Eight years later, their actions from the past still affect the present and they must face each other and the facts once and for all. A gripping read with some difficult themes. Perfect for book group discussions and important topics ro discuss with teens. #thisismetrying #jennaadams #neemtreepress #TheWriteReads
January 9, 2025
This Is Me Trying is undeniably an addictive read, but it’s a heavy one for a coming-of-age YA novel. Readers should heed the content warnings at the start, as the story delves into complex and often uncomfortable themes.
The novel follows Brooke from age 14 to her early twenties and Matt from 17 to his late twenties, though the dual POVs make it clear that this is primarily Brooke’s story. Set in late-2000s Britain, the two characters meet in a drama club, where they’re cast as Romeo and Juliet. What begins as an older, outgoing upperclassman helping a shy freshman come out of her shell soon turns into a forbidden romance, particularly after Matt turns 18. While Matt’s own immaturity is evident, it’s unsettling to read how he encourages Brooke to lie and hide their relationship, blurring the lines of consent and trust.
The novel’s premise hinges on Brooke eventually confronting Matt about their relationship, but this pivotal moment doesn’t occur until the final 10% of the book—and when it does, it’s rushed and glossed over. While Brooke’s personal growth is evident as she navigates therapy and faces her past, Matt remains stagnant, trapped in a cycle of nostalgia and regret.
The pacing of the story feels unbalanced, with over half of the book focused on Brooke’s teenage years, leaving her adult journey and the resolution feeling underdeveloped. The abrupt ending adds to the sense of incompleteness, leaving questions about whether Brooke and Matt truly grew as individuals.
Ultimately, This Is Me Trying had the potential for an impactful exploration of healing and accountability, but its execution fell flat for me. While Brooke’s journey is compelling, the overall narrative left me wanting more depth and closure.
The novel follows Brooke from age 14 to her early twenties and Matt from 17 to his late twenties, though the dual POVs make it clear that this is primarily Brooke’s story. Set in late-2000s Britain, the two characters meet in a drama club, where they’re cast as Romeo and Juliet. What begins as an older, outgoing upperclassman helping a shy freshman come out of her shell soon turns into a forbidden romance, particularly after Matt turns 18. While Matt’s own immaturity is evident, it’s unsettling to read how he encourages Brooke to lie and hide their relationship, blurring the lines of consent and trust.
The novel’s premise hinges on Brooke eventually confronting Matt about their relationship, but this pivotal moment doesn’t occur until the final 10% of the book—and when it does, it’s rushed and glossed over. While Brooke’s personal growth is evident as she navigates therapy and faces her past, Matt remains stagnant, trapped in a cycle of nostalgia and regret.
The pacing of the story feels unbalanced, with over half of the book focused on Brooke’s teenage years, leaving her adult journey and the resolution feeling underdeveloped. The abrupt ending adds to the sense of incompleteness, leaving questions about whether Brooke and Matt truly grew as individuals.
Ultimately, This Is Me Trying had the potential for an impactful exploration of healing and accountability, but its execution fell flat for me. While Brooke’s journey is compelling, the overall narrative left me wanting more depth and closure.
October 14, 2025
If I had to use two words to describe this book it would be emotionally intense.
I love the age gap in romance, but this time it felt different, even though I don't think that's the most challenging aspect of this book.
Matt and Brooke are bound to fall in love from the start. I appreciated that we had the opportunity to fully understand the aspects of both characters.
I was surprised to see how much mental health is central to this story. I don't think it's for everyone, especially if you have suffered from something similar. I don't think it could be widely appreciated, but some might definitely enjoy it!
Many thanks to Netgalley and to Jenna Adams, who provided me with a digital copy in exchange for an honest review!
I love the age gap in romance, but this time it felt different, even though I don't think that's the most challenging aspect of this book.
Matt and Brooke are bound to fall in love from the start. I appreciated that we had the opportunity to fully understand the aspects of both characters.
I was surprised to see how much mental health is central to this story. I don't think it's for everyone, especially if you have suffered from something similar. I don't think it could be widely appreciated, but some might definitely enjoy it!
Many thanks to Netgalley and to Jenna Adams, who provided me with a digital copy in exchange for an honest review!
October 19, 2022
This book has so much to offer - I finished this a few days ago and am still trying to gather my thoughts. A wondrously well done portrait of co-dependency, self-harm, consent and becoming an adult.
Brooke starts the book in counseling - taking it back to the age of 14 and her first boyfriend. Matt, turning 18, insists they keep their relationship a secret as he understands Brooke is a minor. During their interactions in drama club and playing Romeo and Juliet, their relationship builds.
Brooke is not a stable teenager - her relationship with her father complicates her self worth, along with the constant fear of disappointing her mother. Definitely a very complicated situation.
Matt is stuck - he can't move on, can't mature, can't continue his own growth.
Brooke starts the book in counseling - taking it back to the age of 14 and her first boyfriend. Matt, turning 18, insists they keep their relationship a secret as he understands Brooke is a minor. During their interactions in drama club and playing Romeo and Juliet, their relationship builds.
Brooke is not a stable teenager - her relationship with her father complicates her self worth, along with the constant fear of disappointing her mother. Definitely a very complicated situation.
Matt is stuck - he can't move on, can't mature, can't continue his own growth.
March 25, 2025
Thank you to Netaglley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
Wow wow wow where do i even start with this one. This story was heartbreaking and important at the same time. Following 14 year old Brooke and 18 year old Matt we see the development of a toxic and dangerous “relationship” from the perspective of the groomer and the victim. This book can be hard to read at times because both perspectives are a bit skewed. Brooke’s because of her youth and inexperience and Matt because he doesn’t see his actions as wrong. I was afraid this book would try to be to romance centered and i’m glad i was proven wrong. This book is not a romance in the slightest and instead leans more towards something like My Dark Vanessa. I think it was interesting that Matt wasn’t portrayed as some big bag villain but instead a subtly manipulative character. I highly recommend this book especially to young adults because seeing this relationship and the effect it had on Brooke’s life is so important and can help better decisions to be made.
Wow wow wow where do i even start with this one. This story was heartbreaking and important at the same time. Following 14 year old Brooke and 18 year old Matt we see the development of a toxic and dangerous “relationship” from the perspective of the groomer and the victim. This book can be hard to read at times because both perspectives are a bit skewed. Brooke’s because of her youth and inexperience and Matt because he doesn’t see his actions as wrong. I was afraid this book would try to be to romance centered and i’m glad i was proven wrong. This book is not a romance in the slightest and instead leans more towards something like My Dark Vanessa. I think it was interesting that Matt wasn’t portrayed as some big bag villain but instead a subtly manipulative character. I highly recommend this book especially to young adults because seeing this relationship and the effect it had on Brooke’s life is so important and can help better decisions to be made.
May 28, 2025
ARC Review - Net Galley and publisher
Thank you for this Arc Reciew. I really enjoyed this book and exploring the relationship which started from teenage years until later when the two characters were reintroduced.
This was a hard hitting story with a rollercoaster of emotions. But really enjoyed reading this book and would definitely recommend. Just be sure to read the blurb beforehand to make sure it’s what you’re looking for.
Thank you again.
Thank you for this Arc Reciew. I really enjoyed this book and exploring the relationship which started from teenage years until later when the two characters were reintroduced.
This was a hard hitting story with a rollercoaster of emotions. But really enjoyed reading this book and would definitely recommend. Just be sure to read the blurb beforehand to make sure it’s what you’re looking for.
Thank you again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 27, 2022
With her debut novel, Jenna Adams takes us right back to the insecurities and struggles of adolescence. And once I reached the halfway point, I literally sat up into the early hours and finished the second half in one single sitting.
Trigger Warnings: underage sex, mental health, coercive relationships.
Full disclosure, I know Jenna Adams and consider them a friend.
I don’t know what it is, but I’m reading a lot of coming-of-age stories at the moment. I couldn’t say precisely what it is that’s drawing me to them. But if this trend brings me more books like Jenna Adams’ Can I Stray, you’re definitely not going to hear me complaining.
Can I Stray tells the story of Brooke and Matt, two teenagers cast as Romeo and Juliet in their local theatre group. Brooke is fourteen and has self-esteem and codependency issues, born from her father abandoning her. Matt is seventeen and terrified of the expectations around being an adult, leaving school, and starting university.
When the play begins to seep into reality, and Brooke and Matt start to grow close, they are only too aware of the age difference. But when Matt turns eighteen, suddenly, everything becomes far more complicated.
So far, so standard YA love story. What Adams does that elevates Can I Stray above this is to remove the toxic romanticism from it. This isn't a story of young love. It's a story of an inappropriate relationship. This isn't two young people experiencing love for the first time and learning that first love never lasts. It's a story of a new adult and an underage girl who are both too unprepared and uneducated to prevent themselves from making a terrible mistake that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
What really makes Adams' story work are the two main characters. Brooke and Matt both feel universal while remaining specific. I was not like either of them when I was their ages, but I saw myself in both of them. I can remember what it felt like to be prepared to accept anything if it meant I had a girlfriend. I can remember the fear of worrying everyone else knew how to be an adult better than me and that I was being left behind. And I can remember what it was like being caught in the throws of adolescent hormones and the first pangs of love.
The best thing about the characters is that neither is black and white. The main thrust of the story is the inappropriate age gap. But while there is never any doubt that, as the legal adult, all the responsibility lies on Matt's shoulders, Adams never makes him the monster or Brooke the pure and innocent victim. Both of them want what happens. Both of them consent - at least technically - to what they do together. Both of them are impacted by the fallout, if just in different ways.
But - and this is what makes Can I Stray work so well - Adams never lets either character off the hook. Matt's actions were wrong, as he had all the power in the relationship. He was the adult in the situation, if only legally. And while Brooke is the one who truly suffers, Adams shows us that Matt's mistakes also impact his life. Brooke is unmistakably the victim, but that doesn't erase Matt's own suffering. But, most important of all, Matt's pain never lets him off the hook for what he did.
For such a great novel, it feels almost churlish to pick at tiny issues. But there is one. Without wanting to go into spoilers, the second half of Brooke's arc leans a little too heavily on the influence of the men in her life rather than her own agency. I would have liked it if Brooke had fought for the space to fix herself rather than it coming only when a man provided it for her.
But then, I suppose that's the point. We live in a world where girls and women all too often only have their own space when the men in their lives allow it. But if this was an intentional point, it's the one thing I would have liked Adams to lean harder into.
Can I Stray is an incredibly powerful debut novel. The plot is well crafted, but it's the characters that really make it stand out. There wasn't a moment where the story slowed. With every step, I wanted to keep following these characters and what they were going through. I can't recommend it enough, especially if you're looking for a book to buy for anyone in their late teens.
Trigger Warnings: underage sex, mental health, coercive relationships.
Full disclosure, I know Jenna Adams and consider them a friend.
I don’t know what it is, but I’m reading a lot of coming-of-age stories at the moment. I couldn’t say precisely what it is that’s drawing me to them. But if this trend brings me more books like Jenna Adams’ Can I Stray, you’re definitely not going to hear me complaining.
Can I Stray tells the story of Brooke and Matt, two teenagers cast as Romeo and Juliet in their local theatre group. Brooke is fourteen and has self-esteem and codependency issues, born from her father abandoning her. Matt is seventeen and terrified of the expectations around being an adult, leaving school, and starting university.
When the play begins to seep into reality, and Brooke and Matt start to grow close, they are only too aware of the age difference. But when Matt turns eighteen, suddenly, everything becomes far more complicated.
So far, so standard YA love story. What Adams does that elevates Can I Stray above this is to remove the toxic romanticism from it. This isn't a story of young love. It's a story of an inappropriate relationship. This isn't two young people experiencing love for the first time and learning that first love never lasts. It's a story of a new adult and an underage girl who are both too unprepared and uneducated to prevent themselves from making a terrible mistake that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
What really makes Adams' story work are the two main characters. Brooke and Matt both feel universal while remaining specific. I was not like either of them when I was their ages, but I saw myself in both of them. I can remember what it felt like to be prepared to accept anything if it meant I had a girlfriend. I can remember the fear of worrying everyone else knew how to be an adult better than me and that I was being left behind. And I can remember what it was like being caught in the throws of adolescent hormones and the first pangs of love.
The best thing about the characters is that neither is black and white. The main thrust of the story is the inappropriate age gap. But while there is never any doubt that, as the legal adult, all the responsibility lies on Matt's shoulders, Adams never makes him the monster or Brooke the pure and innocent victim. Both of them want what happens. Both of them consent - at least technically - to what they do together. Both of them are impacted by the fallout, if just in different ways.
But - and this is what makes Can I Stray work so well - Adams never lets either character off the hook. Matt's actions were wrong, as he had all the power in the relationship. He was the adult in the situation, if only legally. And while Brooke is the one who truly suffers, Adams shows us that Matt's mistakes also impact his life. Brooke is unmistakably the victim, but that doesn't erase Matt's own suffering. But, most important of all, Matt's pain never lets him off the hook for what he did.
For such a great novel, it feels almost churlish to pick at tiny issues. But there is one. Without wanting to go into spoilers, the second half of Brooke's arc leans a little too heavily on the influence of the men in her life rather than her own agency. I would have liked it if Brooke had fought for the space to fix herself rather than it coming only when a man provided it for her.
But then, I suppose that's the point. We live in a world where girls and women all too often only have their own space when the men in their lives allow it. But if this was an intentional point, it's the one thing I would have liked Adams to lean harder into.
Can I Stray is an incredibly powerful debut novel. The plot is well crafted, but it's the characters that really make it stand out. There wasn't a moment where the story slowed. With every step, I wanted to keep following these characters and what they were going through. I can't recommend it enough, especially if you're looking for a book to buy for anyone in their late teens.
April 13, 2025
4.5 stars
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!
Wow! Such an emotional book I was sobbing every other chapter. The character progression of Brooke felt realistic and her emotions were almost tangible while reading. Recently, I’ve struggled to fully feel immersed in a book but I think this is one of the strengths of this book in my opinion. I definitely enjoyed the shakespeare aspect and this perspective of consent and societal standards. Jenna Adams made me feel like Brooke’s and Matt’s thoughts were my own, I felt so heartbroken and I was gut-wrenchingly in despair. My only dislike about this book is the feeling of being slightly rushed in the last chapters. I can’t wait for this to be released so I can recommend it to all my friends.
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC!
Wow! Such an emotional book I was sobbing every other chapter. The character progression of Brooke felt realistic and her emotions were almost tangible while reading. Recently, I’ve struggled to fully feel immersed in a book but I think this is one of the strengths of this book in my opinion. I definitely enjoyed the shakespeare aspect and this perspective of consent and societal standards. Jenna Adams made me feel like Brooke’s and Matt’s thoughts were my own, I felt so heartbroken and I was gut-wrenchingly in despair. My only dislike about this book is the feeling of being slightly rushed in the last chapters. I can’t wait for this to be released so I can recommend it to all my friends.
January 25, 2025
I don't have any triggers when reading or consuming media. I've read some gruesome, terrible stuff (I like horror, true crime and psychological thrillers, after all) and it's bothered and upset me but I read to challenge myself and expand my worldview, not just to be entertained. One of my favorite authors is Toni Morrison, who I first read when I was a teenager, who writes about topics like rape without compunction. But this author is no Toni Morrison. This book made me squeamish to read the whole way through and in the end it was complete torture in a needlessly gratuitous way. Take care reading the content warnings in this is no understatement.
I was intrigued by the topic; I don't think anything is too dark for YA and it can be a vehicle for teenagers to get exposed to things that adults are too afraid to talk about because it's too heavy and awkward. Sexual consent and codependency are issues that teenage boys in particular need to know about, especially when they turn 18 and the legalities change - for good reason.
This book is written like a romance (with the girl having an instalove crush after her first meeting with the boy) but make no mistake, unlike what the synopsis sounds like, this is not even a dark romance. Matt turns 18 when he meets Brooke, who's 14, as they both play the lead roles in Romeo and Juliet. Matt, inexperienced sexually and feeling pressure from all angles, tries to make shy Brooke, who has a painful crush on him, feel more comfortable. They start to open up more and he develops feelings for her. They keep the relationship secret because he's afraid of getting in trouble, and they become so isolated in a relationship that they know is wrong that it ruins their lives.
First off there was so much telling and infodumping, from my pet peeve of telling me that someone's embarassed without showing them casting their eyes away or fidgeting, to a direct narration of events like it's an entry in a police log attempting to humanize the chain of events. I used to work as a courtroom clerk for five years and I observed many sexual abuse cases and I had visceral flashbacks to those years. And I was just witnessing the aftermath in my job. Instead of seeing it as a cautionary tale it just turned my stomach. And it wasn't even that gratuitous with the sex scenes.
In the end I felt this talked down to teens like it was an after-school special: "18-year-olds, don't even think of acting on your feelings for underage girls or this will happen!" Their family and friends, especially Brooke's mom, were also so unsupportive and traumatizing that it grossed me out. They all acted like she was a narcissistic attention seeker; no wonder she kept her trauma secret. I emotionally connected with the characters but it felt manipulative, like I was in this abusive relationship with some ethical gray areas right with them and not in a way that added literary value.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I was intrigued by the topic; I don't think anything is too dark for YA and it can be a vehicle for teenagers to get exposed to things that adults are too afraid to talk about because it's too heavy and awkward. Sexual consent and codependency are issues that teenage boys in particular need to know about, especially when they turn 18 and the legalities change - for good reason.
This book is written like a romance (with the girl having an instalove crush after her first meeting with the boy) but make no mistake, unlike what the synopsis sounds like, this is not even a dark romance. Matt turns 18 when he meets Brooke, who's 14, as they both play the lead roles in Romeo and Juliet. Matt, inexperienced sexually and feeling pressure from all angles, tries to make shy Brooke, who has a painful crush on him, feel more comfortable. They start to open up more and he develops feelings for her. They keep the relationship secret because he's afraid of getting in trouble, and they become so isolated in a relationship that they know is wrong that it ruins their lives.
First off there was so much telling and infodumping, from my pet peeve of telling me that someone's embarassed without showing them casting their eyes away or fidgeting, to a direct narration of events like it's an entry in a police log attempting to humanize the chain of events. I used to work as a courtroom clerk for five years and I observed many sexual abuse cases and I had visceral flashbacks to those years. And I was just witnessing the aftermath in my job. Instead of seeing it as a cautionary tale it just turned my stomach. And it wasn't even that gratuitous with the sex scenes.
In the end I felt this talked down to teens like it was an after-school special: "18-year-olds, don't even think of acting on your feelings for underage girls or this will happen!" Their family and friends, especially Brooke's mom, were also so unsupportive and traumatizing that it grossed me out. They all acted like she was a narcissistic attention seeker; no wonder she kept her trauma secret. I emotionally connected with the characters but it felt manipulative, like I was in this abusive relationship with some ethical gray areas right with them and not in a way that added literary value.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
September 12, 2022
I don’t often read books that take place in a similar time period/location/circumstance that I’m used to living in - modern suburban England. Usually I want to experience somewhere and something new. Yet, although Can I Stray takes place in a world I’m so familiar with it manages to shed light on subtleties that I otherwise would never have experienced. Furthermore, Jenna Adams perfectly treads a delicate balance on the topic of consent, helped by the fact that we read from two different perspectives. I love this, especially when we’re privy to their conflicting thoughts on events that befall them. This is sometimes a difficult read but for all the right reasons, and I didn’t want it to end - but what a beautiful ending. Cannot recommend enough!
December 30, 2024
Thank you to Edelweiss Plus for lending me a copy of the book.
This has been a very hard but enlightening experience to read this title. I really did enjoy reading the main characters and seeing their sides of the story. You can really see how they grew up to be young adults and how much they have changed and experienced life in their own way.
It takes on an interesting perspective in knowing that the U.K. and the U.S. have different age gaps on accounts of what is acceptable in a romantic relationship and understanding that age is important to consider in romantic relationships. I find Brooke's side to be relatable, but I also pitied Matt's side and understanding that even though Brooke is 14 and Matt is 18, they are still young, and they don't really learn yet of what a healthy romantic relationship is. As an adult, I find it enlightening to see how both characters grow. It's a hard process to see where both of the main characters are growing and understanding what paths they are taking but I find that it's necessary for everyone who has experienced thoughts and emotions like Brooke did. I really liked how raw each of the character's emotions and thoughts are, especially when it was seen in Brooke's view through her depression and codependency and for Matt's thoughts on how stuck he felt in life because he couldn't understand yet of what he thought was right for him.
It was bittersweet, and I find it comforting to know that this book depicts life as a learning experience, as what most teens and young adults are or would be going through. I do recommend this for teens older than 16, I think it's the appropriate age range for them to understand what both characters are going through.
This has been a very hard but enlightening experience to read this title. I really did enjoy reading the main characters and seeing their sides of the story. You can really see how they grew up to be young adults and how much they have changed and experienced life in their own way.
It takes on an interesting perspective in knowing that the U.K. and the U.S. have different age gaps on accounts of what is acceptable in a romantic relationship and understanding that age is important to consider in romantic relationships. I find Brooke's side to be relatable, but I also pitied Matt's side and understanding that even though Brooke is 14 and Matt is 18, they are still young, and they don't really learn yet of what a healthy romantic relationship is. As an adult, I find it enlightening to see how both characters grow. It's a hard process to see where both of the main characters are growing and understanding what paths they are taking but I find that it's necessary for everyone who has experienced thoughts and emotions like Brooke did. I really liked how raw each of the character's emotions and thoughts are, especially when it was seen in Brooke's view through her depression and codependency and for Matt's thoughts on how stuck he felt in life because he couldn't understand yet of what he thought was right for him.
It was bittersweet, and I find it comforting to know that this book depicts life as a learning experience, as what most teens and young adults are or would be going through. I do recommend this for teens older than 16, I think it's the appropriate age range for them to understand what both characters are going through.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 16, 2025
First of all thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to read my first Arc book.
This is a book that is not suited for everyone, make sure to check if you could read about heavy topics like these before reading. After finishing it, i first want to say how inspired i am by Brooke’s growth and how she managed find her own place in the world after struggling so much. Her story is somewhat relatable for any young girl who grows up believing they aren’t deserving of love or struggle a lot with codependency that result in toxic relationships like Brooke and Matt. At first everything was innocent, Brooke having a young crush even though he’s older, as any 14 year old girl has, but during their play he starts reciprocating these feelings and get into a secret relationship. This is also where a type of power dynamic because of their age and her codependency rises to the top. The harm and the pain this toxic relationship caused her, what was a possible factor in her depression and the actions she had taken after she became 18 and decided to leave England, gets talked about in more detail during her therapy session when she’s older and in her relationship with Charlie, who has helped her grow.
The writer did such a great job describing depression, mental health that it spoke to me on a deeper level. I connected with it so much that i disliked Matt and didn’t feel any enjoyment while reading his chapters, because the author did an excellent job at writing his character. The way he continued to blame her in his mind throughout all the four years, not once trying to take true accountability for his actions and realising the harm he has done, thinking she’s still in love with him, refusing to move forward with his life thinking she would return for him. It was until he finally saw Brooke and she spoke up for herself that he did take that accountability in some way. It was interesting to see it from the male perspective, but i did grow uninterested in his chapters when nearing the end of the book because i was more invested in Brooke’s growth and got often annoyed at his lack of accountability.
Something that spoke to me was her relationship with Charlie, it reminded me of my own first healthy relationship, or well a more healthy dynamic. The amount of growth she started to make and the therapy she started going to after was inspiring. It also is a reminder that despite our toxic past experiences, that it doesn’t mean there aren’t good men out there. Even though she had to learn about how her own toxic patterns.
I enjoyed the ending where she ended up living back home fully and ended up breaking up with Charlie to create her own life back in England. It symbolizes letting go of that codependency and creating your own life and home that you enjoy. I liked how she made sure to have multiple pillars in the end just like she learned in therapy.
I really enjoyed growing with Brooke, it was inspiring and i genuinely felt happy for her in the end.
This is a book that is not suited for everyone, make sure to check if you could read about heavy topics like these before reading. After finishing it, i first want to say how inspired i am by Brooke’s growth and how she managed find her own place in the world after struggling so much. Her story is somewhat relatable for any young girl who grows up believing they aren’t deserving of love or struggle a lot with codependency that result in toxic relationships like Brooke and Matt. At first everything was innocent, Brooke having a young crush even though he’s older, as any 14 year old girl has, but during their play he starts reciprocating these feelings and get into a secret relationship. This is also where a type of power dynamic because of their age and her codependency rises to the top. The harm and the pain this toxic relationship caused her, what was a possible factor in her depression and the actions she had taken after she became 18 and decided to leave England, gets talked about in more detail during her therapy session when she’s older and in her relationship with Charlie, who has helped her grow.
The writer did such a great job describing depression, mental health that it spoke to me on a deeper level. I connected with it so much that i disliked Matt and didn’t feel any enjoyment while reading his chapters, because the author did an excellent job at writing his character. The way he continued to blame her in his mind throughout all the four years, not once trying to take true accountability for his actions and realising the harm he has done, thinking she’s still in love with him, refusing to move forward with his life thinking she would return for him. It was until he finally saw Brooke and she spoke up for herself that he did take that accountability in some way. It was interesting to see it from the male perspective, but i did grow uninterested in his chapters when nearing the end of the book because i was more invested in Brooke’s growth and got often annoyed at his lack of accountability.
Something that spoke to me was her relationship with Charlie, it reminded me of my own first healthy relationship, or well a more healthy dynamic. The amount of growth she started to make and the therapy she started going to after was inspiring. It also is a reminder that despite our toxic past experiences, that it doesn’t mean there aren’t good men out there. Even though she had to learn about how her own toxic patterns.
I enjoyed the ending where she ended up living back home fully and ended up breaking up with Charlie to create her own life back in England. It symbolizes letting go of that codependency and creating your own life and home that you enjoy. I liked how she made sure to have multiple pillars in the end just like she learned in therapy.
I really enjoyed growing with Brooke, it was inspiring and i genuinely felt happy for her in the end.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 11, 2022
Title: Can I Stray
Author: Jenna Adams
Publisher: Neem Tree Press
Pages: 424
Genre: Contemporary Fiction/Contemporary Romance/New Adult
Rating: 5/5
Synopsis:
Brooke Tyler, a 14 year old girl has spent all of her young life waiting for a boy to like her. When she is cast as Juliet in an upcoming play, she gets to know Matt, a student who is about to begin university and is scared about what he will be leaving behind. Soon they both fulfil the role of secret lovers both on and off the stage. Brooke’s fairytale is becoming true, but this is dangerous territory because Matt is older.
Brooke is willing to accept that to keep her first boyfriend, there must be secrets and lies. However, after one night alone in a deserted auditorium, Brooke’s life is turned upside down. Her world is shattered when she learns that Matt’s actions were illegal. Years later the pair reunite, Matt is desperate to try to undo all the damage caused, but Brooke makes some decisions, leaving them both questioning their relationship.
Review:
This read is different from my usual but I’m so glad I was given the chance to read and review this book! It is safe to say the description really did reach out and pull me in. It gave me the feeling that this book would be a read that would connect with me on a different level and I was not wrong.
The story is told from Brooke and Matt’s perspective, this is clear and easy to follow but also quite powerful as you experience both their emotions, so the author hits you with a double whammy. You also get in both their heads and I don’t know if this is right or wrong, but I couldn’t help but feel for both of them.
I loved how the author used a play script format for the chapters and to tell some part of the story. This was cleverly done but also very effective too. I connected with Jenna’s writing instantly and I felt myself becoming immediately hooked in, when I put the book down, all I could think of was when I would be picking it back up.
I enjoyed that the chapters were short and sweet, it kept the story moving at a perfect pace. The author also managed to really tug on my heart strings at times, I could feel the character’s pain and hurt myself. I was definitely invested in the characters, I felt like I was on a journey with them, especially Brooke.
The author sensitively covers topics of consent and mental health, she does a fantastic job at raising awareness, this could be quite difficult for some readers but honestly, take a break if you need to because the book is worth the read. I also love and respect that at the end the author provides you with useful contacts for anyone who is struggling with mental health, sexual health, unhealthy relationships and sexual assault.
This was beautifully written; you can feel that the author has poured a lot of love into this book and getting an important message shared. I devoured it and it is definitely a read that will stay with me.
Author: Jenna Adams
Publisher: Neem Tree Press
Pages: 424
Genre: Contemporary Fiction/Contemporary Romance/New Adult
Rating: 5/5
Synopsis:
Brooke Tyler, a 14 year old girl has spent all of her young life waiting for a boy to like her. When she is cast as Juliet in an upcoming play, she gets to know Matt, a student who is about to begin university and is scared about what he will be leaving behind. Soon they both fulfil the role of secret lovers both on and off the stage. Brooke’s fairytale is becoming true, but this is dangerous territory because Matt is older.
Brooke is willing to accept that to keep her first boyfriend, there must be secrets and lies. However, after one night alone in a deserted auditorium, Brooke’s life is turned upside down. Her world is shattered when she learns that Matt’s actions were illegal. Years later the pair reunite, Matt is desperate to try to undo all the damage caused, but Brooke makes some decisions, leaving them both questioning their relationship.
Review:
This read is different from my usual but I’m so glad I was given the chance to read and review this book! It is safe to say the description really did reach out and pull me in. It gave me the feeling that this book would be a read that would connect with me on a different level and I was not wrong.
The story is told from Brooke and Matt’s perspective, this is clear and easy to follow but also quite powerful as you experience both their emotions, so the author hits you with a double whammy. You also get in both their heads and I don’t know if this is right or wrong, but I couldn’t help but feel for both of them.
I loved how the author used a play script format for the chapters and to tell some part of the story. This was cleverly done but also very effective too. I connected with Jenna’s writing instantly and I felt myself becoming immediately hooked in, when I put the book down, all I could think of was when I would be picking it back up.
I enjoyed that the chapters were short and sweet, it kept the story moving at a perfect pace. The author also managed to really tug on my heart strings at times, I could feel the character’s pain and hurt myself. I was definitely invested in the characters, I felt like I was on a journey with them, especially Brooke.
The author sensitively covers topics of consent and mental health, she does a fantastic job at raising awareness, this could be quite difficult for some readers but honestly, take a break if you need to because the book is worth the read. I also love and respect that at the end the author provides you with useful contacts for anyone who is struggling with mental health, sexual health, unhealthy relationships and sexual assault.
This was beautifully written; you can feel that the author has poured a lot of love into this book and getting an important message shared. I devoured it and it is definitely a read that will stay with me.
April 30, 2025
3.5 ⭐
Before I begin, I want to thank the author, Jenna Adams, and Unbound on NetGalley for giving me this ARC.
I want to note that I don't think this book should've been categorized as YA. Even though the FMC is 14 years old, the topics are a bit too dark. I think this is better suited for older teens or even NA.
When I started reading this I was not really prepared for it to go this way. I thought it would be obvious about who's right and who's wrong. Let one thing be absolutely clear: the MMC is 100% in the wrong. You can twist it however you like, but he was NOT innocent. He knew what he was doing. In my opinion, the FMC was not the one who was 'wrong' in the relationship, but I do believe that it was really awful of her to just up and leave without explanation. I also think that all the adults failed her. They should've noticed or at least given her better support after her attempt.
This was messy, heartbreaking, and thought provoking, and it was an anger point. I wasn't rooting for the couple, and I honestly think that the MMC needs to go to therapy because he really can't think that was normal.
Before I begin, I want to thank the author, Jenna Adams, and Unbound on NetGalley for giving me this ARC.
I want to note that I don't think this book should've been categorized as YA. Even though the FMC is 14 years old, the topics are a bit too dark. I think this is better suited for older teens or even NA.
When I started reading this I was not really prepared for it to go this way. I thought it would be obvious about who's right and who's wrong. Let one thing be absolutely clear: the MMC is 100% in the wrong. You can twist it however you like, but he was NOT innocent. He knew what he was doing. In my opinion, the FMC was not the one who was 'wrong' in the relationship, but I do believe that it was really awful of her to just up and leave without explanation. I also think that all the adults failed her. They should've noticed or at least given her better support after her attempt.
This was messy, heartbreaking, and thought provoking, and it was an anger point. I wasn't rooting for the couple, and I honestly think that the MMC needs to go to therapy because he really can't think that was normal.
July 9, 2025
I have to admit, I was a little nervous about this book. This Is Me Trying explores sexual consent, mental health and the effects some relationships can have on us, long after they’re gone. With having both Brooke and Matt’s POVs, I was scared that the book was going to veer into the territory of romanticizing their relationship, but it never did that. The age and maturity difference, especially as teenagers, is written so clear that you feel that ick that you’re supposed to feel. I did very much appreciate the nuances of consent being talked about and I think that part could be a very good resource for teens. I also loved the look and mental health and therapy for Brooke although I think Matt could have certainly benefited from it too. I did think it was a smidge too long and unrealistic at time further into the story, but I still was very invested in the characters and their journeys. I LOVED the ending so much. It certainly deals with some very uncomfortable topics and while I thought they were done with care, definitely check the trigger warnings below. Overall, I’m happy I read it and I think we need more books that dive into the topic of consent like this one does.
CW: adult/minor relationship, self harm, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, drug use,
Thank you to Neem Tree Press for the digital reader’s copy!
CW: adult/minor relationship, self harm, suicidal thoughts, mental illness, drug use,
Thank you to Neem Tree Press for the digital reader’s copy!
February 2, 2025
4.5
Sometimes written as though it's a play, which makes it a bit fun to read, especially considering it all started with a play. Divided into acts which then depicts the ages of both Brooke and Matt.
Conflicting topics. We would not empathize as much with Matt if we didn't have his point of view, although we still kind of give him a side eye here and then considering the decisions he makes at his age. (Part 1/act 1) there is a time where all I wanted to do was shake this boy up and tell him to give up and stop whatever it is he tries with Brooke. Although I get his feelings are mutual, I think most people in his position would put as much distance between themselves and the person as possible, especially after what happened. Of course, in the romantic way. He would be an A-hole if he would not try to be friends at least.
As for the character of Brooke, we get a realistic perspective of a 14 year old (part 1/ act 1).
Confused, wanting to have a more romanticized live than she has, slowly gaining confidence while still a bit self-conscious.
We then see her as an 18 year old who is ill and is trying to survive in this new phase of her life. We might not agree with some of her decisions, but we also now that we're ill, we will do anything to feel better.
There shows a bit of neglect from the mums side. We do not see her trying to understand what is wrong with Brooke. But then again, we get this from Brookes point of view only, so it could also be from there. (Part 1/ act 1)
We then kind of see a shift in the mother-daughter relationship, with the mum trying her best to make her daughter feel comfortable and get healthier. But then again, all we get is Brookes perspective so we don't get a lot of information on that.
I would have liked to see more of her and Lucys friendship, but again we understand that this disconnection is due to Brooke prioritizing the wrong things. (Part 1/ act 1) there is no development in the friendship, they drift apart understandably, but we still see her friend trying her best and showing how much she cares for Brooke.
Part two: bad decision after bad decision. Need to get ends meet, but then again, fo someone who went down a spiral. due to a boy, you are too keen on finding and staying with someone.
Trauma? Kind of like daddy issues and stuff?
Part three: we finally witness a growth in the character, we see her finally getting the help she needs and forming a family. There are still ups and downs but that is just the reality of it all.
Ending. Not for me. It's good that she found release (from Matt and her self in a way) but she still ran away from a situation in a way (Charlie) he didn't deserve being broken up long distance. Só it's kind of shows that she still ran away has lots of growing.
Overall, a dark and heavy coming of age book that teenagers should have access to to learn from and also see that they're not alone in whatever situation they might be going through.
Sometimes written as though it's a play, which makes it a bit fun to read, especially considering it all started with a play. Divided into acts which then depicts the ages of both Brooke and Matt.
Conflicting topics. We would not empathize as much with Matt if we didn't have his point of view, although we still kind of give him a side eye here and then considering the decisions he makes at his age. (Part 1/act 1) there is a time where all I wanted to do was shake this boy up and tell him to give up and stop whatever it is he tries with Brooke. Although I get his feelings are mutual, I think most people in his position would put as much distance between themselves and the person as possible, especially after what happened. Of course, in the romantic way. He would be an A-hole if he would not try to be friends at least.
As for the character of Brooke, we get a realistic perspective of a 14 year old (part 1/ act 1).
Confused, wanting to have a more romanticized live than she has, slowly gaining confidence while still a bit self-conscious.
We then see her as an 18 year old who is ill and is trying to survive in this new phase of her life. We might not agree with some of her decisions, but we also now that we're ill, we will do anything to feel better.
There shows a bit of neglect from the mums side. We do not see her trying to understand what is wrong with Brooke. But then again, we get this from Brookes point of view only, so it could also be from there. (Part 1/ act 1)
We then kind of see a shift in the mother-daughter relationship, with the mum trying her best to make her daughter feel comfortable and get healthier. But then again, all we get is Brookes perspective so we don't get a lot of information on that.
I would have liked to see more of her and Lucys friendship, but again we understand that this disconnection is due to Brooke prioritizing the wrong things. (Part 1/ act 1) there is no development in the friendship, they drift apart understandably, but we still see her friend trying her best and showing how much she cares for Brooke.
Part two: bad decision after bad decision. Need to get ends meet, but then again, fo someone who went down a spiral. due to a boy, you are too keen on finding and staying with someone.
Trauma? Kind of like daddy issues and stuff?
Part three: we finally witness a growth in the character, we see her finally getting the help she needs and forming a family. There are still ups and downs but that is just the reality of it all.
Ending. Not for me. It's good that she found release (from Matt and her self in a way) but she still ran away from a situation in a way (Charlie) he didn't deserve being broken up long distance. Só it's kind of shows that she still ran away has lots of growing.
Overall, a dark and heavy coming of age book that teenagers should have access to to learn from and also see that they're not alone in whatever situation they might be going through.
March 20, 2025
Thanks NetGalley and Unbound for providing me with this arc in exchange for an honest review.
Before starting this book, I hadn’t been sure what I was expecting of it. I love reading YA, coming of age and mental health representation just works really well in that setting.
But this book didn’t work for me at all. We start off with a very very toxic relationship. And while it gets repeated the entire book that it was a mistake, nobody actually really seems to care or feel sorry about it. You even feel like you need to root for them which is definitely not appropriate.
But once that relationship finally ends, the book loses all direction. After that it’s just a bad mix of vaguely worked out plot points that don’t take you anywhere. Neither of the characters actually grow up throughout the book or have any character development.
I just truly don’t understand what we’re meant to take away from this book. It’s so hopeless and excuses so many toxic behaviours and red flags. My 14 year old might’ve felt seen, but not in a good way at all. The adults in this aren’t exactly much better either. Which made a bad situation, so much worse.
While I had some hope that the ending would make things a bit better, it just did nothing and left me feeling like I had wasted my time. In short, not the book for me
Before starting this book, I hadn’t been sure what I was expecting of it. I love reading YA, coming of age and mental health representation just works really well in that setting.
But this book didn’t work for me at all. We start off with a very very toxic relationship. And while it gets repeated the entire book that it was a mistake, nobody actually really seems to care or feel sorry about it. You even feel like you need to root for them which is definitely not appropriate.
But once that relationship finally ends, the book loses all direction. After that it’s just a bad mix of vaguely worked out plot points that don’t take you anywhere. Neither of the characters actually grow up throughout the book or have any character development.
I just truly don’t understand what we’re meant to take away from this book. It’s so hopeless and excuses so many toxic behaviours and red flags. My 14 year old might’ve felt seen, but not in a good way at all. The adults in this aren’t exactly much better either. Which made a bad situation, so much worse.
While I had some hope that the ending would make things a bit better, it just did nothing and left me feeling like I had wasted my time. In short, not the book for me
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