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Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend
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White Lotus meets Kevin Wilson in this whip-smart social satire about a man who finds himself trapped on an island resort after the sun literally explodes, and suddenly must choose whether to save himself from the chaos, or help the fellow guests make it off the island alive…
Vacation Checklist: Pack swim trunks. Apply sunscreen. Survive the apocalypse?
Professional underachiever Dan Foster is finally taking a vacation. Sure, his life has been average at best, and yeah, he's never quite lived up to his potential. But after a few Miller Lites in paradise with his girlfriend, Mara, things are starting to look up.
Then the sun explodes.
With the island resort suddenly plunged into darkness (he really should've sprung for the travel insurance), Dan's holiday goes from bad to worse when elite guests stage a coup and commandeer supplies. As temperatures drop and class tensions rise, revolution begins to brew on the island, and Dan accidentally becomes a beacon of hope for the surviving vacationers. But when one six-person plane is discovered that could get them back to the mainland, Dan realizes he has a choice to make.
Does he escape the island with Mara? Or does he stay and fight to become the most unlikely hero of the end of the world?
White Lotus meets Kevin Wilson in this whip-smart social satire about a man who finds himself trapped on an island resort after the sun literally explodes, and suddenly must choose whether to save himself from the chaos, or help the fellow guests make it off the island alive…
Vacation Checklist: Pack swim trunks. Apply sunscreen. Survive the apocalypse?
Professional underachiever Dan Foster is finally taking a vacation. Sure, his life has been average at best, and yeah, he's never quite lived up to his potential. But after a few Miller Lites in paradise with his girlfriend, Mara, things are starting to look up.
Then the sun explodes.
With the island resort suddenly plunged into darkness (he really should've sprung for the travel insurance), Dan's holiday goes from bad to worse when elite guests stage a coup and commandeer supplies. As temperatures drop and class tensions rise, revolution begins to brew on the island, and Dan accidentally becomes a beacon of hope for the surviving vacationers. But when one six-person plane is discovered that could get them back to the mainland, Dan realizes he has a choice to make.
Does he escape the island with Mara? Or does he stay and fight to become the most unlikely hero of the end of the world?
Audiobook
First published August 6, 2024
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About the author
M.J. Wassmer
1 book314 followersMJ Wassmer grew up in the suburbs of Memphis, Tennessee. He’s worked as a UPS package handler, professional treadmill cleaner, steakhouse busboy, and Spider-Man for children’s birthday parties. Following ten years in corporate, MJ left to start his own business while focusing on his true passion—writing silly things. His debut novel is ZERO STARS, DO NOT RECOMMEND.
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July 18, 2024first off, that title is witty af and actually makes sense after reading 😌😌
second, I was under a couple of misapprehensions starting this book because I use a system that recommends books to me, since I want to read tons of lighthearted summer themed romance this month. I got this book and it does have elements of romance and a lot of comic relief but I think everyone who has read it can agree with me that it's more of a summer themed contemporary dystopian novel than a romantic comedy. my bad, but look at that cover and tell me you you wouldn't make the same assumption ☀️🏖💖💖
third, I was really into the white lotus meet lord of the flies plot. I just had a fewnegligible issues. considering this is the author's debut novel, the writing is genius and fun and still manages to make your anxiety kick in. I'm pretty much obsessed with white lotus and have watched it a number of times and if you haven't, you should. so I could tell what was missing here and was in white lotus that made it a 5 star show, at least season 1 and at least for me.
white lotus had an under current of chaotic energy from the start which built up so much tension over the time of the vacation before everything that actually could go wrong, went wrong. everyone who enjoy the summer and having fun for a short while before it all went very south but this novel did not have that. I think I'd would have appreciated the effects of the sun exploding if I had read more about how much fun everyone on the island was having before that nightmare happened.
also, white lotus story capitalized on details of the lives of each characters before the island and while on the island and used it to create little comradery and heated adversaries. I felt that made it really hit the dramatic part of it.
***
I hope the book is better than the title 😵😵
second, I was under a couple of misapprehensions starting this book because I use a system that recommends books to me, since I want to read tons of lighthearted summer themed romance this month. I got this book and it does have elements of romance and a lot of comic relief but I think everyone who has read it can agree with me that it's more of a summer themed contemporary dystopian novel than a romantic comedy. my bad, but look at that cover and tell me you you wouldn't make the same assumption ☀️🏖💖💖
third, I was really into the white lotus meet lord of the flies plot. I just had a few
white lotus had an under current of chaotic energy from the start which built up so much tension over the time of the vacation before everything that actually could go wrong, went wrong. everyone who enjoy the summer and having fun for a short while before it all went very south but this novel did not have that. I think I'd would have appreciated the effects of the sun exploding if I had read more about how much fun everyone on the island was having before that nightmare happened.
also, white lotus story capitalized on details of the lives of each characters before the island and while on the island and used it to create little comradery and heated adversaries. I felt that made it really hit the dramatic part of it.
***
I hope the book is better than the title 😵😵
June 2, 2024
If there's any such thing as a fun apocalypse story, Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend is definitely it. It's an unusual tale full of humor and heart and interesting characters, and overall it's a tremendously enjoyable read.
Dan Foster and his girlfriend Mara are at a resort on a remote island in the Bahamas when the sun explodes (which totally sounds like something that would happen to me when I'm trying to relax on vacation, by the way), and things only get worse from there when Lilyanna Collins, a fitness pyramid scheme CEO, takes control of the resort. And let me tell you, on the list of literary villains, Lilyanna is second only to Dolores Umbridge on the awfulness scale. As someone who stopped reading the Harry Potter series after The Goblet of Fire because I knew Umbridge would make an appearance in the next book (I'd already seen the films), Lilyanna was really hard for me to take. The only thing that made her bearable was knowing that she'd probably get her comeuppance in the end (and did she? I'll let you read the book to find out!).
But other than Lilyanna, this novel has a really fantastic cast of characters. Dan is a wonderfully funny – and kind of clueless – main character, and his girlfriend Mara is beyond feisty. The supporting characters are all unique and well-written, and I especially loved Beard Guy despite his very minor role in the story.
Although it's addressed in a humorous and entertaining way, class warfare is really the main issue at play in this book. Lilyanna, her goons, and the other Building A (that is, the wealthy) residents are pitted against the “commoners” from Buildings B and C. When people start dying under Lilyanna's iron-fisted rule, Dan and Mara must decide if they're up for leading the resistance.
While I did see the twist coming in advance of the big reveal (although not until probably the 65% mark or so), I absolutely loved it. It's not exactly the most plausible situation, but it is perfect in the context of this story. And it's hard to say anything else about it without spoiling things, so, in the words of the great philosopher Forrest Gump, “that's all I have to say about that.”
So, yeah. If you enjoy your apocalypse stories with some humor and rich people who behave very, very badly, you'll likely enjoy this one. 4.35 stars, rounded down.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review. Its expected publication date is August 6, 2024.
Dan Foster and his girlfriend Mara are at a resort on a remote island in the Bahamas when the sun explodes (which totally sounds like something that would happen to me when I'm trying to relax on vacation, by the way), and things only get worse from there when Lilyanna Collins, a fitness pyramid scheme CEO, takes control of the resort. And let me tell you, on the list of literary villains, Lilyanna is second only to Dolores Umbridge on the awfulness scale. As someone who stopped reading the Harry Potter series after The Goblet of Fire because I knew Umbridge would make an appearance in the next book (I'd already seen the films), Lilyanna was really hard for me to take. The only thing that made her bearable was knowing that she'd probably get her comeuppance in the end (and did she? I'll let you read the book to find out!).
But other than Lilyanna, this novel has a really fantastic cast of characters. Dan is a wonderfully funny – and kind of clueless – main character, and his girlfriend Mara is beyond feisty. The supporting characters are all unique and well-written, and I especially loved Beard Guy despite his very minor role in the story.
Although it's addressed in a humorous and entertaining way, class warfare is really the main issue at play in this book. Lilyanna, her goons, and the other Building A (that is, the wealthy) residents are pitted against the “commoners” from Buildings B and C. When people start dying under Lilyanna's iron-fisted rule, Dan and Mara must decide if they're up for leading the resistance.
While I did see the twist coming in advance of the big reveal (although not until probably the 65% mark or so), I absolutely loved it. It's not exactly the most plausible situation, but it is perfect in the context of this story. And it's hard to say anything else about it without spoiling things, so, in the words of the great philosopher Forrest Gump, “that's all I have to say about that.”
So, yeah. If you enjoy your apocalypse stories with some humor and rich people who behave very, very badly, you'll likely enjoy this one. 4.35 stars, rounded down.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for providing me with an advance copy of this book to review. Its expected publication date is August 6, 2024.
August 6, 2024
Vacations are all about experiencing new things right? So why not the apocalypse?
I went into this book not expecting much, and ended up loving every minute of it.
Not only is the premise very original, but it is also a very well written story, with good characters and very satisfying developments.
It's funny, heartfelt and compelling, and overall a very good book.
I listened to the audiobook version and the narrator was great. I will definitely revisit it in the future and recommend it!
I went into this book not expecting much, and ended up loving every minute of it.
Not only is the premise very original, but it is also a very well written story, with good characters and very satisfying developments.
It's funny, heartfelt and compelling, and overall a very good book.
I listened to the audiobook version and the narrator was great. I will definitely revisit it in the future and recommend it!
August 9, 2024
★4 stars, do recommend! 🏖️☄️
Wow this book was not at all what I was expecting, but everything I needed! Not me requesting the arc without reading the synopsis 🫣
☆What to Expect:
What’s a solid island resort vacation without the sun exploding on you?? Dan and his girlfriend Mara find out exactly what happens when a seemingly picture-perfect all-inclusive vacation turns into a fight for survival amongst a hierarchical class system.
☆My Thoughts:
This was like if White Lotus and an apocalypse had a baby, and it did not disappoint in the slightest. I’m still laughing at myself bc for some reason I thought this book would be a romance, which may be why I put it off for so long! Had I known that I’d be flying through the pages, shoveling in the popcorn bc I couldn’t wait to see what shit would hit the fan next, I absolutely wouldn’t have left it til the last second 🍿
Zero Stars is a social satire through and through, poking fun at the hierarchical dynamics at play. The main character exists in the middle class socially and physically in this book, which was a strategic way to see all sides of the story.
I did find the twist to be predictable, some aspects to be a bit too cliché, and the main character to be annoying and unlikeable, but the real thrill is just sitting back and experiencing the whole chaotic ride. Idk which character I’d be if I was stuck on an island and the sun exploded, but sure as hell rethinking all my future vacations LOL 🤣
* ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜*
Pre-review:
Vacation + life put me in a massive slump but I got myself two days to finish this arc 😭😭😭 (Am still on a hiatus!)
Wow this book was not at all what I was expecting, but everything I needed! Not me requesting the arc without reading the synopsis 🫣
☆What to Expect:
What’s a solid island resort vacation without the sun exploding on you?? Dan and his girlfriend Mara find out exactly what happens when a seemingly picture-perfect all-inclusive vacation turns into a fight for survival amongst a hierarchical class system.
☆My Thoughts:
This was like if White Lotus and an apocalypse had a baby, and it did not disappoint in the slightest. I’m still laughing at myself bc for some reason I thought this book would be a romance, which may be why I put it off for so long! Had I known that I’d be flying through the pages, shoveling in the popcorn bc I couldn’t wait to see what shit would hit the fan next, I absolutely wouldn’t have left it til the last second 🍿
Zero Stars is a social satire through and through, poking fun at the hierarchical dynamics at play. The main character exists in the middle class socially and physically in this book, which was a strategic way to see all sides of the story.
I did find the twist to be predictable, some aspects to be a bit too cliché, and the main character to be annoying and unlikeable, but the real thrill is just sitting back and experiencing the whole chaotic ride. Idk which character I’d be if I was stuck on an island and the sun exploded, but sure as hell rethinking all my future vacations LOL 🤣
⋆₊⊹⁀➴ Many thanks to Sourcebooks Landmark, Netgalley, and the author for sharing this advanced copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.
* ゜・。。・゜゜・。。・゜*
Pre-review:
Vacation + life put me in a massive slump but I got myself two days to finish this arc 😭😭😭 (Am still on a hiatus!)
August 8, 2024
Dan Foster, an admitted slacker, just cracked his fifth, or maybe it's his 6th, Miller Light when the sun explodes like a dripping egg yolk from the sky while on vacation at a luxury resort outside of the Bahamas.
And that's just the start of his vacation from hell.
Dan saw the ad on Facebook. A newly constructed resort on it's own island outside of the Bahamas promising a vacation that they'll never forget. (They weren't lying about that!) He convinces his girlfriend, Mara, to join him for two weeks of fun in the sun. Except where's the sun now? It's time to up the ante from beer to booze.
The resort consists of three buildings, A, B, and C.
Building A is strictly for the wealthiest and most notable guests, Building B is more of a middle-class affair, and Building C, with little in the way of any amenities, is for the poorer folks that still want to vacation but can't really afford to.
As you can imagine when the sun explodes leaving the guests in darkness and scrambling to make sense of a non-sensical situation that tempers begin to flare pitting the guests against each other.
Thankfully, Lilliana, of Beach Bod by Lilianna fame, along with her preacher husband, Peter, are there to take charge. Their motto: Let us pray and yoga away the impending apocalypse.
Can Dan muster the courage and charisma it takes to take charge and save an entire island of people? You'll have to read this to find out.
I absolutely loved this one! Dan Foster is the antihero of my dreams. I adored him and his self deprecating sense of humor. Dan is the first to admit that he's kind of a loser. Not a bad guy per se, just not a very ambitious one. He's a guy that just lets life pass him by without putting in much effort. So imagine his surprise when other guests start looking to him for answers. He's not a leader, he doesn't want to be a leader, but maybe this will be a new chapter for him. It's time he steps up and becomes a real man. A fixer. A doer. Someone Mara will be proud of.
Speaking of Mara, she's a nurse with a heart of gold, that wants to help and save anyone and everyone. Dan's total opposite and Dan often wonders what she see's in him. We, as readers, know what she see's in him, because Dan is funny, sweet, and kind and their banter was so adorable. These two set the bar for relationship goals. Dan and Mara, forever!
The entire cast of characters were a delight in their own way. Except Rico, screw that guy!
Alan, Charles, Lenny, Gloria - chefs kiss! 👌
Lilianna and Peter were perfectly annoying and so entertaining. You'll love to hate these two.
I hope this book finds it's audience because it truly is unique, funny, and heartwarming. I am so impressed with this debut from M.J. Wassmer and I think other readers will be too. If it piques your interest even slightly I urge you to give it a try. You won't be disappointed. 4 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for my complimentary copy.
And that's just the start of his vacation from hell.
Dan saw the ad on Facebook. A newly constructed resort on it's own island outside of the Bahamas promising a vacation that they'll never forget. (They weren't lying about that!) He convinces his girlfriend, Mara, to join him for two weeks of fun in the sun. Except where's the sun now? It's time to up the ante from beer to booze.
The resort consists of three buildings, A, B, and C.
Building A is strictly for the wealthiest and most notable guests, Building B is more of a middle-class affair, and Building C, with little in the way of any amenities, is for the poorer folks that still want to vacation but can't really afford to.
As you can imagine when the sun explodes leaving the guests in darkness and scrambling to make sense of a non-sensical situation that tempers begin to flare pitting the guests against each other.
Thankfully, Lilliana, of Beach Bod by Lilianna fame, along with her preacher husband, Peter, are there to take charge. Their motto: Let us pray and yoga away the impending apocalypse.
Can Dan muster the courage and charisma it takes to take charge and save an entire island of people? You'll have to read this to find out.
I absolutely loved this one! Dan Foster is the antihero of my dreams. I adored him and his self deprecating sense of humor. Dan is the first to admit that he's kind of a loser. Not a bad guy per se, just not a very ambitious one. He's a guy that just lets life pass him by without putting in much effort. So imagine his surprise when other guests start looking to him for answers. He's not a leader, he doesn't want to be a leader, but maybe this will be a new chapter for him. It's time he steps up and becomes a real man. A fixer. A doer. Someone Mara will be proud of.
Speaking of Mara, she's a nurse with a heart of gold, that wants to help and save anyone and everyone. Dan's total opposite and Dan often wonders what she see's in him. We, as readers, know what she see's in him, because Dan is funny, sweet, and kind and their banter was so adorable. These two set the bar for relationship goals. Dan and Mara, forever!
The entire cast of characters were a delight in their own way. Except Rico, screw that guy!
Alan, Charles, Lenny, Gloria - chefs kiss! 👌
Lilianna and Peter were perfectly annoying and so entertaining. You'll love to hate these two.
I hope this book finds it's audience because it truly is unique, funny, and heartwarming. I am so impressed with this debut from M.J. Wassmer and I think other readers will be too. If it piques your interest even slightly I urge you to give it a try. You won't be disappointed. 4 stars!
Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for my complimentary copy.
August 21, 2024
This book is a 5x7 package of silliness, with a wallop of sardonic wit, and a layer of quirky. A speculative fiction story about a dystopian island, survival, and a group of desperate people mostly behaving badly.
Dan is on a private island vacation in the Bahamas with his girlfriend Mara when the sun explodes. Yes, the sun explodes! Now there's a plot point that I've never heard of before! In under a week, this island paradise quickly becomes similar to a February in Michigan, seemingly ceaseless dark days, snow, and cold with no end in sight. Food and water start to run low for the stranded vacationers and everything is being rationed by a take-charge female fitness guru. It turns into a scenario of survival of the fittest. A battle between the haves (the elite rich) and the have nots (the average Joes) to take control of the island. Everything starts to unravel, and it becomes harder and harder to know who to trust.
By this point I wish that I would have sent this to my DNF shelf. I wanted to say that this book was aptly named, but I think it deserves at least two stars. I thought there were very few likable characters and the whole thing was OTT. However, it may have just been the wrong book at the wrong time for me and I would encourage you to read reviews from other readers who may have seen this book differently.
Dan is on a private island vacation in the Bahamas with his girlfriend Mara when the sun explodes. Yes, the sun explodes! Now there's a plot point that I've never heard of before! In under a week, this island paradise quickly becomes similar to a February in Michigan, seemingly ceaseless dark days, snow, and cold with no end in sight. Food and water start to run low for the stranded vacationers and everything is being rationed by a take-charge female fitness guru. It turns into a scenario of survival of the fittest. A battle between the haves (the elite rich) and the have nots (the average Joes) to take control of the island. Everything starts to unravel, and it becomes harder and harder to know who to trust.
By this point I wish that I would have sent this to my DNF shelf. I wanted to say that this book was aptly named, but I think it deserves at least two stars. I thought there were very few likable characters and the whole thing was OTT. However, it may have just been the wrong book at the wrong time for me and I would encourage you to read reviews from other readers who may have seen this book differently.
August 7, 2024
I was able to get my hands on an early copy of this book—I know a guy. Zero Stars grabs your attention from the start with its humor, heart and relatability, and it doesn’t let up. It’s five stars, do recommend for me.
September 14, 2024
Not zero stars but I do not recommend. I find it silly not sardonic, the humour certainly does not match mine. Humour is very subjective and one country’s funny is another’s eye roll. Plenty of eye rolling going on. Very OTT and I get bored. Not for me.
Kindle Unlimited
Kindle Unlimited
August 9, 2024
the review basically writes itself: zero stars, do not re-…
just kidding.
great book, very unique plot, especially loved the marketing for this (i don’t read synopses so i looked at the cover and thought it would be a romcom and then someone got shot two chapters in)
just kidding.
great book, very unique plot, especially loved the marketing for this (i don’t read synopses so i looked at the cover and thought it would be a romcom and then someone got shot two chapters in)
August 17, 2024
Dan Foster is enjoying a break from his mediocre life with his girlfriend, Mara, in the Bahamas when the sun explodes. Things go from bad to worse when a wellness influencer/pyramid schemer named Lilyanna rises to power along with the elite guests at the resort and commandeer the supplies. As the temperatures drop, revolution begins to brew among the classes and Dan somehow finds himself as the unlikely hero among the surviving vacationers.
This apocalyptic satire from MJ Wassmer about the end of the world hits close to home for those of us still reeling from the early toilet paper hoarding days of the pandemic. It toes the line between the absurd and terrifyingly plausible as a good satire should. I highly recommend this on audio as the narration for Lilyanna was especially hysterical with the perfect amount of southern twang and girl boss tone you’d expect from an MLM tyrant.
Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for providing me this arc to review.
This apocalyptic satire from MJ Wassmer about the end of the world hits close to home for those of us still reeling from the early toilet paper hoarding days of the pandemic. It toes the line between the absurd and terrifyingly plausible as a good satire should. I highly recommend this on audio as the narration for Lilyanna was especially hysterical with the perfect amount of southern twang and girl boss tone you’d expect from an MLM tyrant.
Thank you to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark for providing me this arc to review.
December 8, 2024
I picked this up because it was on my TBR (along with 2K+ other things) and available at my library. I didn't read the synopsis, and this book reminds me why I typically do not. What an incredible debut! It's part dystopian speculative fiction, part action adventure, part thriller with a smattering of romance.
Humor is very subjective, but this just scratched an itch for me because
I literally belly LOL several times. I also shed a few tears. It is over the top for sure, but I was so into it, I didn't care at all.
4.5 ☆ for me, rounding up. The religious and class commentary was a touch heavy handed at times, and the author voice was distinctly male (complete with more than a couple fart jokes). I really thought this was great, and I would broadly recommend this to anyone.
Humor is very subjective, but this just scratched an itch for me because
I literally belly LOL several times. I also shed a few tears. It is over the top for sure, but I was so into it, I didn't care at all.
4.5 ☆ for me, rounding up. The religious and class commentary was a touch heavy handed at times, and the author voice was distinctly male (complete with more than a couple fart jokes). I really thought this was great, and I would broadly recommend this to anyone.
December 17, 2024
The whole time reading, I was reading this I was seen as the main guy as Ryan Reynolds. I definitely do not recommend it.
August 21, 2024
“Teamwork makes the regime work.”
Thanks to NetGalley and RBmedia for sending me an ARC of Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend in exchange for an honest review.
Dan Foster is 29 and stuck in a boring digital marketing job he hates even though he’s been told all his life that he’s “gifted.” But he’s got a good thing going with his girlfriend Mara, and they’re on vacation at the grand opening of a resort in the Bahamas, so what could go wrong? Well, the sun could explode. But rather than obliterating Earth in a fiery aftermath, the resort is merely cut off from the rest of the world, and slowly getting colder (and dark, of course). And when the wealthy Building A people steal all the food and takeover the island, Dan is forced to choose between finding a way for him and Mara to escape to the mainland and leading the class rebellion against the ruling class.
Obviously, if the sun exploded for real we’d all be dead about 9 minutes later, so you have to suspend your disbelief in Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend. You just have accept that the setup is one part a metaphor for our collective failure to address climate change and one part an excuse to bring the class tensions here to a boil. There are shades of Lord of the Flies here, but the tone here is all tongue-in-cheek. MLM-running, fascist dictator Liliana makes an entertaining foil for lovable loser Dan. The story drags a bit in the middle, and takes a hard turn at around the 80% mark that was very unexpected but makes sense in hindsight. But the story has got a snarky charm, and Stephen R. Thorne did an excellent job performing the audiobook. 3.5 stars rounded up to 4. Recommended.
January 13, 2025
An aptly named book!
Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend stars Dan, a 29-year-old man on vacation with his girlfriend Mara. While they are enjoying the beach at a new resort on a small island, the sun explodes. This really throws a wrench in things.
Now, I love a ridiculous piece of media. And this book combines a lot of my favorite things: megachurch and/or MLM satire (Righteous Gemstones), disaster striking and every “leader” being woefully inept (Avenue 5), humor with a backdrop of troubling current events (Derry Girls), the list goes on. And still, I really did not care for it.
One issue I had was the language and references Wassmer uses. Edgelord quips abound. The snarky social commentary and bad jokes are more of a time capsule than timeless; I think it will quickly go from feeling current to cringey.
The book is also way too long for the story it tells. It’s pushing 400 pages, and I was tired halfway through. I compromised with myself by upping the playback speed. It could have been a novella, honestly. For it to be even 300 pages, a lot more would need to happen. Or we’d need a different main character. Ideally both.
Third smaller gripe:
I have two big gripes: one I have seen in other books, and one specific to this one.
First, white men writing women and romantic relationships so poorly that it overshadows a cool speculative fiction premise. I have seen this with Reincarnation Blues, The Humans, Dark Matter, and it is always a bummer.
Every time, the male protagonist is a fairly flat character, almost a self-insert (this time the male protagonist is actually urged to become an author elle oh elle dude). The only consistent morals or motivations he has are to Protect His Woman No Matter What. But then the woman has even less dimension than he does. And, often we are viewing the woman love interest through the man’s eyes. So then it’s hard to square his primal drive to kill every threat to her with his bare hands, with the fact that he does not even seem to view her as human. In the end, everything feels hollow.
Here, Dan never seems to view Mara as his equal. She’s either way too good for him or a child with a “flair for dramatics,” as he reiterates throughout the book. Cool.
Also, is it imposter syndrome if you are an imposter? Dan is always having crises about measuring up and success and masculinity. I was excited to explore that more. These issues are real and I think they can be particularly tricky for men to navigate because of societal roles and pressures about showing emotion or vulnerability, being able to provide for your family, etc.
But also, Dan…just sucks. He thinks he is better than his job because he was labeled a gifted kid? He thinks he is better than Building C? He constantly, consciously pushes down his emotions. He is mean. He is a coward. He shows zero initiative, charisma, or authority, yet everyone looks to him. He’s like “I have no skills,” and I’m like, yeah, it is a problem. Mara keeps saying he is a good writer, but we have no indication of that. Is he meant to be writing this very book? Is it that much of a self-insert? Either way, woof.
I will say, the narrator of the audiobook was so great. Stephen R. Thorne did a great job, specifically with Pete and Charles. Very entertaining performance, and this was not his fault.
Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend stars Dan, a 29-year-old man on vacation with his girlfriend Mara. While they are enjoying the beach at a new resort on a small island, the sun explodes. This really throws a wrench in things.
Now, I love a ridiculous piece of media. And this book combines a lot of my favorite things: megachurch and/or MLM satire (Righteous Gemstones), disaster striking and every “leader” being woefully inept (Avenue 5), humor with a backdrop of troubling current events (Derry Girls), the list goes on. And still, I really did not care for it.
One issue I had was the language and references Wassmer uses. Edgelord quips abound. The snarky social commentary and bad jokes are more of a time capsule than timeless; I think it will quickly go from feeling current to cringey.
The book is also way too long for the story it tells. It’s pushing 400 pages, and I was tired halfway through. I compromised with myself by upping the playback speed. It could have been a novella, honestly. For it to be even 300 pages, a lot more would need to happen. Or we’d need a different main character. Ideally both.
Third smaller gripe:
I have two big gripes: one I have seen in other books, and one specific to this one.
First, white men writing women and romantic relationships so poorly that it overshadows a cool speculative fiction premise. I have seen this with Reincarnation Blues, The Humans, Dark Matter, and it is always a bummer.
Every time, the male protagonist is a fairly flat character, almost a self-insert (this time the male protagonist is actually urged to become an author elle oh elle dude). The only consistent morals or motivations he has are to Protect His Woman No Matter What. But then the woman has even less dimension than he does. And, often we are viewing the woman love interest through the man’s eyes. So then it’s hard to square his primal drive to kill every threat to her with his bare hands, with the fact that he does not even seem to view her as human. In the end, everything feels hollow.
Here, Dan never seems to view Mara as his equal. She’s either way too good for him or a child with a “flair for dramatics,” as he reiterates throughout the book. Cool.
Also, is it imposter syndrome if you are an imposter? Dan is always having crises about measuring up and success and masculinity. I was excited to explore that more. These issues are real and I think they can be particularly tricky for men to navigate because of societal roles and pressures about showing emotion or vulnerability, being able to provide for your family, etc.
But also, Dan…just sucks. He thinks he is better than his job because he was labeled a gifted kid? He thinks he is better than Building C? He constantly, consciously pushes down his emotions. He is mean. He is a coward. He shows zero initiative, charisma, or authority, yet everyone looks to him. He’s like “I have no skills,” and I’m like, yeah, it is a problem. Mara keeps saying he is a good writer, but we have no indication of that. Is he meant to be writing this very book? Is it that much of a self-insert? Either way, woof.
I will say, the narrator of the audiobook was so great. Stephen R. Thorne did a great job, specifically with Pete and Charles. Very entertaining performance, and this was not his fault.
August 26, 2024
Like so many others, Dan simply couldn’t resist the presumptive ads on Facebook offering a trip of a lifetime to the brand new Tizoc Resort in the Bahamas, so he convinced his girlfriend to go on what was sure to be a fabulous getaway . . . . . And then the sun melted.
Now it’s a game of beat the clock when it comes to figuring out how to escape the island before the next ice age is upon them. But have no fear – someone is more than happy to step up and take charge . . . .
(Having recently watched The Weigh Down the Gwen Shamlin resemblance made me have a little chuckle.)
Work will be delegated, food will be rationed and a theme song will continue to play on repeat . . . .
And thanks to a cache of weapons - if anyone dissents, they will be swiftly taken care of.
Are the kids back in school and your brain has been overrun with getting back on track with school work and activities and endless getting ready in the morning routines? Well, this one might be for you if you just need a break from reality because life is stressing you out. Per usual, I felt this could have easily been whittled down by 50-75 pages as the “what do we do” of it all became a bit cyclical – but the reveal of what was going on ended up being pretty quality and I enjoyed it as a whole.
Now it’s a game of beat the clock when it comes to figuring out how to escape the island before the next ice age is upon them. But have no fear – someone is more than happy to step up and take charge . . . .
(Having recently watched The Weigh Down the Gwen Shamlin resemblance made me have a little chuckle.)
Work will be delegated, food will be rationed and a theme song will continue to play on repeat . . . .
And thanks to a cache of weapons - if anyone dissents, they will be swiftly taken care of.
Are the kids back in school and your brain has been overrun with getting back on track with school work and activities and endless getting ready in the morning routines? Well, this one might be for you if you just need a break from reality because life is stressing you out. Per usual, I felt this could have easily been whittled down by 50-75 pages as the “what do we do” of it all became a bit cyclical – but the reveal of what was going on ended up being pretty quality and I enjoyed it as a whole.
February 5, 2025
Appropriately titled.
March 3, 2024
Wow, such a fascinating read. I've never read anything like it! The two main characters were interesting, I enjoyed them the most and truly loved watching their character development throughout the story. It had so many twists I didn't expect and just had me on the edge of my seat many times. Many cute moments that made me giggle as well. This is in 3rd person, which was really hard for me to get into for many chapters due to that factor. I took off 1 star for that and the way the MMC descriptive states things from the 3rd person perspective. If it would've been in first person POVs I think this would've been a brilliant book!
I received this ARC from NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark to read/review. All of the statements above are my true opinions after fully reading this book.
I received this ARC from NetGalley and Sourcebooks Landmark to read/review. All of the statements above are my true opinions after fully reading this book.
August 29, 2024
Whoever marketed this as White Lotus meets Kevin Wilson was a genius because that immediately pulled me in. I understand why they would say that but this fell so short of my expectations. I really thought I would have a fun time reading this which I did but only for like 5 chapters (maybe less?). I thought it was too repetitive so I was bored for almost all of it. Some of the commentary was odd and offensive at some parts.
I get that it was supposed to be satirical but I think it came off as tone deaf instead. I also didn’t find it funny at all with the over the top violence and religion, etc. I didn't laugh once so I’m disappointed for sure but maybe the title was actually a warning lol
I get that it was supposed to be satirical but I think it came off as tone deaf instead. I also didn’t find it funny at all with the over the top violence and religion, etc. I didn't laugh once so I’m disappointed for sure but maybe the title was actually a warning lol
December 19, 2024
Raise your hand if you read this to complete a reading challenge 🙋🏻♀️
Fitting title. Awful!
The micro aggressions? Oddly ‘edgy’ racist jokes? Nope 👎🏼
Fitting title. Awful!
The micro aggressions? Oddly ‘edgy’ racist jokes? Nope 👎🏼
August 5, 2024
What could be worse than the sun exploding while you’re on a private Bahama island vacation? How ‘bout an MLM Queen Bee appointing herself Boss Babe of the resort? Want to survive the apocalypse, hun? Be part of the (s̶c̶h̶e̶m̶e̶) solution, or else.
Dan, a snark-talking underachiever, is coaxed by his out-of-his-league girlfriend, Mara, into becoming the reluctant hero of the “this vacation is bullshit” rebellion. But are his true motives just as self-serving as the Dystopian Diva’s?
Would-be readers, look at the cover. It’s a cocktail-sipping dude in an inner tube, floating unbothered in a pool while the world ends. If you’re looking for hard-hitting survivalist drama or scientifically accurate fiction, you’re not gonna find it within these pages. It’s speculative satire with some pretty witty observations that made me laugh while also making me think.
The narrator has great comedic timing. I’d definitely listen to other books read by Stephen R. Thorne.
Thank you, NetGalley, for the ARC of the book in exchange for my honest review.
Dan, a snark-talking underachiever, is coaxed by his out-of-his-league girlfriend, Mara, into becoming the reluctant hero of the “this vacation is bullshit” rebellion. But are his true motives just as self-serving as the Dystopian Diva’s?
Would-be readers, look at the cover. It’s a cocktail-sipping dude in an inner tube, floating unbothered in a pool while the world ends. If you’re looking for hard-hitting survivalist drama or scientifically accurate fiction, you’re not gonna find it within these pages. It’s speculative satire with some pretty witty observations that made me laugh while also making me think.
The narrator has great comedic timing. I’d definitely listen to other books read by Stephen R. Thorne.
Thank you, NetGalley, for the ARC of the book in exchange for my honest review.
December 14, 2024
The way I was laughing and giggling the entire time while reading this book about the sun exploding and people dying and going crazy because of it. The writing was so witty and this is undoubtedly the funniest book I've read all year, but it also worked as an (over the top) apocalypse story for me. I'm quite impressed by the fact that this is a debut novel, and I will definitely pick up more by M.J. Wassmer in the future.
March 3, 2025
__________________________
“[Our] world, that understandable and lawful world, was slipping away.” - Lord of the Flies
I really wanted to like this book. Mainly because the title Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend sounds like a book about Good Reads reviewers. I had hope at first. In the first line, the sun blows up, just like the notifications on Good Reads. But, alas, it is not about Good Reads.
The characters in Zero Stars have travelled to the opening of a small, remote, privately-owned island in the Bahamas for a holiday at the grand opening of a tropical resort. They are enjoying themselves on the beach when the sun flashes like a lightbulb in a lamp that has been shaken, pops, and goes black.
“The boys found themselves facing their own fear in the darkness.” - Lord of the Flies
Zero Stars reads like an allegory about the evils of political pyramid schemes. The resort is divided into 3 classes—Building A for the billionaire oligarchs, Building B for people of typical middle-class wealth, and the low amenities Building C for your near minimum-wage crowd. The morning after the sun went out, the people in Buildings B and C wake up to find that Building A and its armed guards have confiscated all of the food and water resources for themselves. Building A rations the food and water to B and C, rations the time the electricity is on for B and C, establishes draconian rules for B and C, and imposes severe penalties for people in B and C who do not meet their assigned goals. The electricity and water in Building A, of course, need to be on for 24 hours a day, because the people in A are the “smart” people who are working 24 hours a day to come up with ways to save the people in B and C, and Building A needed the best food for the same reason.
It is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples. Do you know what would happen if we pigs failed in our duty?” – Animal Farm
🌟🌟🌟 Stars. This is M.J. Wassmer first novel. It shows. He does have a good sense of humor, but his characters’ jokes and wisecracks don’t always seem appropriate to the situation, and while I enjoyed much of the story, I will never be able to buy the ending, even if I find it in the discount bin at the Dollar Store.
The book does reflect what is going on throughout much of the world today, with the people from Building A beneficently taking over the government to save the rest of us. Oh, how selfless they are.
Hitler did some good things. – Donald Trump
Zero Stars was published in 2024, but if you are an American and reading this review shortly after I wrote it in 2025, you may find the following quote from the novel rather prophetic.
Mara gets shit done. Here’s the thing about people who get shit done though. They’re so focused on getting shit done that they don’t take two seconds to consider whether it’s the right shit.
“[Our] world, that understandable and lawful world, was slipping away.” - Lord of the Flies
I really wanted to like this book. Mainly because the title Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend sounds like a book about Good Reads reviewers. I had hope at first. In the first line, the sun blows up, just like the notifications on Good Reads. But, alas, it is not about Good Reads.
The characters in Zero Stars have travelled to the opening of a small, remote, privately-owned island in the Bahamas for a holiday at the grand opening of a tropical resort. They are enjoying themselves on the beach when the sun flashes like a lightbulb in a lamp that has been shaken, pops, and goes black.
“The boys found themselves facing their own fear in the darkness.” - Lord of the Flies
Zero Stars reads like an allegory about the evils of political pyramid schemes. The resort is divided into 3 classes—Building A for the billionaire oligarchs, Building B for people of typical middle-class wealth, and the low amenities Building C for your near minimum-wage crowd. The morning after the sun went out, the people in Buildings B and C wake up to find that Building A and its armed guards have confiscated all of the food and water resources for themselves. Building A rations the food and water to B and C, rations the time the electricity is on for B and C, establishes draconian rules for B and C, and imposes severe penalties for people in B and C who do not meet their assigned goals. The electricity and water in Building A, of course, need to be on for 24 hours a day, because the people in A are the “smart” people who are working 24 hours a day to come up with ways to save the people in B and C, and Building A needed the best food for the same reason.
It is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples. Do you know what would happen if we pigs failed in our duty?” – Animal Farm
🌟🌟🌟 Stars. This is M.J. Wassmer first novel. It shows. He does have a good sense of humor, but his characters’ jokes and wisecracks don’t always seem appropriate to the situation, and while I enjoyed much of the story, I will never be able to buy the ending, even if I find it in the discount bin at the Dollar Store.
The book does reflect what is going on throughout much of the world today, with the people from Building A beneficently taking over the government to save the rest of us. Oh, how selfless they are.
Hitler did some good things. – Donald Trump
Zero Stars was published in 2024, but if you are an American and reading this review shortly after I wrote it in 2025, you may find the following quote from the novel rather prophetic.
Mara gets shit done. Here’s the thing about people who get shit done though. They’re so focused on getting shit done that they don’t take two seconds to consider whether it’s the right shit.
January 6, 2025
2.5 stars - it just wasn’t at all what I expected - way more gritty survival than black humor, and the ending was just really, really derivative (hello Steven King? lol) & a total cop-out. Did have its moments, but overall just NOPE! I do not recommend, but it had it's better than zero stars!
July 15, 2024
I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review as part of the book tour hosted by Insta Book Tours.
Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend (yes, this is the title!) is a book like nothing I've read before, and I found it fresh and refreshing and a perfect read for summer.
We follow Dan Foster as he and his girlfriend Mara vacation on a tropical island when suddenly the sun explodes (well dribbled out of the sky like an egg yolk). The island is plunged into complete darkness, and panic ensues. The guests on the island have been given accommodation on the status of what they paid to holiday there, divided into A, B and C (A being the luxury high class staus and C being the lower class with B being in the middle). Seemingly, nobody knows what has happened, and obviously, tensions and emotions are high. When a celebrity fitness guru takes control of the island, rations food, water, and electricity, people rebel, and a war breaks out between the guests. Food is running out, people are being unfairly treated and worked like slaves, and some things are just not adding up! Dan somehow gets thrust forward into being the voice of the category B and C guests and realises he has some big choices to make as well as looking inside himself and discovering who he really is and what he really wants if they manage to get off the island.
I loved many of the characters in this book, especially Charles, Mara, and Gloria, and became hooked from around chapter 6. I did figure out part of the ending around halfway through but loved seeing the story unfold. This was so much fun to read, and I will definitely be checking out what the author writes next as this was such a refreshing change.
Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend (yes, this is the title!) is a book like nothing I've read before, and I found it fresh and refreshing and a perfect read for summer.
We follow Dan Foster as he and his girlfriend Mara vacation on a tropical island when suddenly the sun explodes (well dribbled out of the sky like an egg yolk). The island is plunged into complete darkness, and panic ensues. The guests on the island have been given accommodation on the status of what they paid to holiday there, divided into A, B and C (A being the luxury high class staus and C being the lower class with B being in the middle). Seemingly, nobody knows what has happened, and obviously, tensions and emotions are high. When a celebrity fitness guru takes control of the island, rations food, water, and electricity, people rebel, and a war breaks out between the guests. Food is running out, people are being unfairly treated and worked like slaves, and some things are just not adding up! Dan somehow gets thrust forward into being the voice of the category B and C guests and realises he has some big choices to make as well as looking inside himself and discovering who he really is and what he really wants if they manage to get off the island.
I loved many of the characters in this book, especially Charles, Mara, and Gloria, and became hooked from around chapter 6. I did figure out part of the ending around halfway through but loved seeing the story unfold. This was so much fun to read, and I will definitely be checking out what the author writes next as this was such a refreshing change.
October 5, 2024
never thought I’d laugh during an apocalypse novel
June 28, 2025
I don’t know how I feel about this book, is it a 3 or 4? When checking the other reviews for this book, a lot of people loved it and ended up laughing because of it. I went into it with hopes of it being a funny book and I wasn’t disappointed. Pete was by far the funniest character. In cue, my favorite quote from the book.
“You'e just hangin with your homies. And I say, Actually, I'm inside the church and I'm just hangin' with my homie too. And their eyes get real big like, Wow, okay, this guy is speaking our language. No adult has ever talked to us like this. And I say, Wanna know my homie's name? JC. And they're thinking, Whỏs JC? Who's this JC guy? And I tell'em, Dan, I tell 'em: Jesus Christ.”
I’m not really one to read books with the theme of apocalypses or things like that but this was interesting. I definitely did not expect the twist towards the end. The main character Dan was…digestible. He’s a wanna be brave guy who just falls under peer pressure but is truthfully brave at least in the sense that he’ll go through all lengths to protect his girlfriend. Mara..wants to save and protect everyone constantly, which I think is nice and all but I don’t know if I can agree with that approach. And oh man..RICO! Rico is the person that you read about that shows the sad truth of difficult situations and how deprived people can become. Overall, 3 stars..would recommend!
and the taylor swift song that I would recommend to this book is..
taylor swift - look what you made me do
“You'e just hangin with your homies. And I say, Actually, I'm inside the church and I'm just hangin' with my homie too. And their eyes get real big like, Wow, okay, this guy is speaking our language. No adult has ever talked to us like this. And I say, Wanna know my homie's name? JC. And they're thinking, Whỏs JC? Who's this JC guy? And I tell'em, Dan, I tell 'em: Jesus Christ.”
I’m not really one to read books with the theme of apocalypses or things like that but this was interesting. I definitely did not expect the twist towards the end. The main character Dan was…digestible. He’s a wanna be brave guy who just falls under peer pressure but is truthfully brave at least in the sense that he’ll go through all lengths to protect his girlfriend. Mara..wants to save and protect everyone constantly, which I think is nice and all but I don’t know if I can agree with that approach. And oh man..RICO! Rico is the person that you read about that shows the sad truth of difficult situations and how deprived people can become. Overall, 3 stars..would recommend!
and the taylor swift song that I would recommend to this book is..
taylor swift - look what you made me do
October 15, 2025
Zero Stars Do Not Recommend by M.J. Wasser starts with a premise that sounds almost absurd: the sun has exploded, turning the world dark. At first, I couldn’t help but find it a bit unrealistic and weird, but once I settled into the story, I found myself surprisingly drawn in.
Dan and Mara are both ordinary, flawed people who find themselves in extraordinary circumstances, and I loved how brave and resourceful they turned out to be.
Towards the end, the story quickly unfolds and the big reveal tied everything together really well. Overall, a unique and engaging read that completely won me over after a rocky start.
Dan and Mara are both ordinary, flawed people who find themselves in extraordinary circumstances, and I loved how brave and resourceful they turned out to be.
Towards the end, the story quickly unfolds and the big reveal tied everything together really well. Overall, a unique and engaging read that completely won me over after a rocky start.
January 19, 2024
Wow. Five stars, do recommend.
This will certainly be a book to pick up when it releases later this year. The copy on netgalley has some formatting issues, but the story is insane.
Shortly after the sun ceased to exist I started to think of the Stanford Prison Experiment and Lord of the Flies, but with adults in a newly opened remote island resort. The absolute worst parts of humanity were on full display as this cast of mostly unlikeable humans attempted to survive the apocalypse. The buildings themselves operated as a bit of a caste system, and the people from Building A wound up seizing control and letting a MLM woman and her megachurch pastor husband take the lead. I truly do not know if a more terrible duo could exist. There are murders, unsolved true crime mysteries, people behaving horrendously, and a few failed attempts to stage a rebellion against the worst couple in history.
This will certainly be a book to pick up when it releases later this year. The copy on netgalley has some formatting issues, but the story is insane.
Shortly after the sun ceased to exist I started to think of the Stanford Prison Experiment and Lord of the Flies, but with adults in a newly opened remote island resort. The absolute worst parts of humanity were on full display as this cast of mostly unlikeable humans attempted to survive the apocalypse. The buildings themselves operated as a bit of a caste system, and the people from Building A wound up seizing control and letting a MLM woman and her megachurch pastor husband take the lead. I truly do not know if a more terrible duo could exist. There are murders, unsolved true crime mysteries, people behaving horrendously, and a few failed attempts to stage a rebellion against the worst couple in history.
February 25, 2024
This book sucked me in from the first page. I loved The White Lotus vibes it had. But really any locked door mystery always makes me happy. This book also had so many other tropes I loved, which I can’t say or they would be a spoiler. This is a page turner that will keep you up all night trying to figure out the mystery.
Unlike the title, I do recommend it!
Thank you to NetGalley, Sourcebooks and MJ Wassmer for an eARC for an honest review of the book.
Unlike the title, I do recommend it!
Thank you to NetGalley, Sourcebooks and MJ Wassmer for an eARC for an honest review of the book.
October 10, 2024
*4.5 Stars*
OMG WAIT. I JUST GOT IT. the title is a double entendre!!!
Zero stars
Cause the sun is gone
HAHAHAHA.
OMG WAIT. I JUST GOT IT. the title is a double entendre!!!
Zero stars
Cause the sun is gone
HAHAHAHA.
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