Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld

by Christine M. Cocchiola, Amy Polacko, Ramani Durvasula (foreword)

This could be you—or your sister, mother, child, or friend.

These stories are five-alarm warnings from real women around the world who have been FRAMED. Just like you perhaps, they had no idea what happens in the gender biased family court underworld—until they found themselves in a divorce or custody fight.

Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko are both survivors of domestic abuse who work with family court victims daily. This exposé not only validates the experience of millions of women—but also warns about what mothers are up against in these battles, the harms inflicted on children, red flags to watch for while dating, and ways to protect yourself during marriage.

If you are female, you can’t afford not to read this book. We hope you’ll gift it to the women you care about. They’ll thank you later.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism

332 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2024

About the author

Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a leading expert on coercive control and its impact on adult and child victims. As a social work professor, she holds a Doctorate in Clinical Social Work from New York University, where she was mentored by Dr. Evan Stark, a pioneering researcher in coercive control.
Dr. Cocchiola presents internationally on coercive control dynamics, training professionals, advocates, and protective parents on effective intervention strategies for victims of abuse. A social justice advocate since age 19, she developed The Protective Parenting Program, an evidence-based, attachment-focused therapeutic model for parents whose children have been harmed by abusive partners.
Her scholarly contributions include coining the terms "malicious fracturing of attachment" and "disintegrated intuition"—both describing the psychological impact on children raised by abusive parents. Drawing from her experiences as both a survivor and protective parent, Dr. Cocchiola hosts the Perfect Prey Podcast and has authored the children's book Every Moment of Every Day and co-authored FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld. Her TEDx talk, "It is ALL Coercive Control," is available on YouTube.

Reviews

[Nicole Manos Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld is a vital resource for women looking to identify narcissistic behavior and skillfully navigate the intricate family court landscape. Written by Amy Polacko, a divorce coach and award-winning journalist, alongside Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, a leading authority on coercive control, this book delves into the challenging realities faced by women entangled in abusive relationships and legal disputes.

Polacko and Cocchiola exhibit their remarkable storytelling abilities by interweaving the real-life tales of 22 women from across the globe who have endured unimaginable hardships. These courageous women share their journeys, offering invaluable insights and a source of hope for others who might be facing similar struggles. Their stories shine a light on the widespread gender disparities within the family court system and serve as powerful testaments to resilience and strength.

FRAMED transcends a simple guidebook; it’s an engaging and thought-provoking read that captivates readers from beginning to end. The authors carefully detail the tactics abusers use in both personal relationships and legal settings, providing practical advice and strategies for those caught in these challenging situations. This book is not only informative but also deeply impactful, making it an essential tool for women who are dating, married, victims of abuse, or dealing with divorce and custody conflicts. By sharing these compelling narratives and expert insights, FRAMED seeks to educate and empower women, arming them with the knowledge and tools needed to protect themselves and their children against coercive control and systemic inequities.

[Carmen Aliber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for anyone considering marriage, separation, or divorce and for those who work in the family court system. Kudos to leading experts Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko for exposing the inner workings and devastating outcomes of our family courts. Today’s courts and judges too often dismiss the warning sign of abusive behavior; they protect predators and revictimize prey. Sharing real-life stories of survivors who have lost their children, homes, savings, and lives because of a broken judicial system, Framed: Women in the Family Court and Underworld validates the need for family court oversight and reform. Readers gain a clear understanding of how narcissists use our courts as their playground to dismantle families, bankrupt spouses, and use children as their pawns to maintain power and control.

[kristy_reads_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a mental health therapist for the last twenty plus years, I find the depth of knowledge in this book a must read for all. This book captures the ins and outs of coercive control, the red flags, and true life stories of those affected by it. There is something everyone can get from this book. It’s crucial for all to be able to have a deeper understanding of this topic. Fabulous authors. Hope to hear more from them in the future!

[Cherilyn Luciano]

I can't wait to get this book! After seeing someone one being abused for 10 years, and counting, I know this book is necessary. The abuse does not stop when you leave, it gets worse. If only women can see the red flags before they get trapped. This book exposes the red flags. Much work needs to be done to help these mothers "Framed" for loving their children.

[Chrissy Fabrico · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot wait to read this book! Unfortunately, the family court system is broken and children and their protective parent are being abused by the system. It is critical that the judges, lawyers, therapists, parents, and mental health counselors become informed and properly trained on the characteristics of coercive control. Coercive control is abuse and the behaviors of the of abusers are criminal. The health and well being of children is being compromised every day due to the ignorance of the system.

[Cathy Barrett]

I am incredibly excited for this book! As someone who works as an expert in Family Court, I can say that Dr. Cocchiola's material is not only timely, but imperative for parents, clinicians, and attorneys. Her expertise and conversation around coercive control is profound as she carefully describes the way in which a perpetrator "maliciously fractures the attachment," your child has to you.

[Justena · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mental health clinician, a mother, and most importantly a human, I look forward to this book by two authors who are trying to shed light on the biggest human rights crisis of our time--the Family Court system.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very much looking forward to reading. Dr. Cocchiola and Amy Polacko have been instrumental in helping women navigate the family court system and provide support for their children.

[Kal's Mind, Body & Science · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone deeply interested in psychology and the intricate dynamics of relationships, I am eagerly awaiting the release of Framed by Dr. Christine Cocchiola. This book promises to delve into the complexities of coercive control, a subject that is often misunderstood yet critically important in understanding the nuances of abusive relationships.

Dr. Cocchiola, with her extensive background in social work and trauma-informed care, is well-equipped to explore this topic with both depth and sensitivity.

I'm particularly interested in how Framed will shed light on the psychological tactics used by perpetrators to manipulate and dominate, often leaving their victims feeling trapped and isolated. The concept of being "framed" in such a relationship is both poignant and powerful, and I anticipate that Dr. Cocchiola will offer both clarity and hope to those affected by these dynamics.

This book seems like it will be an essential read for anyone wanting to gain a deeper understanding of coercive control, whether they are professionals in the field, survivors, or individuals looking to educate themselves on the darker aspects of human relationships. I can't wait to see how Dr. Cocchiola approaches this important subject and contributes to the broader conversation on psychological abuse.

[Kimberly Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't think of a more crucial book for the world to read than Framed. As a survivor of coercive control and the family court system, I know firsthand how devastating it is to be thrust into a system that promises fairness and justice, only to discover the opposite. Framed shines a necessary light on the harsh realities of family courts in America and worldwide, exposing the biases and injustices that continue to harm women and children.

Dr. Christine Cocchiola and Amy Polacko, both exceptional women and experts in this field, have crafted a powerful narrative that tells the stories of countless women who have endured unimaginable struggles in their pursuit of safety and justice. This book is not just important—it’s urgent. When our children are left unprotected from abuse, and their right to a nurturing environment is stripped away, the resulting trauma can reverberate through their lives and across generations.

Framed is more than a book; it's a call to action and a beacon of awareness for a broken system that needs reform. It’s a vital read for anyone who cares about the well-being of children and the fight against systemic oppression.

[Nika · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book starkly reveals that abuse doesn’t end with filing for divorce—in many cases, it escalates. It offers critical insights into coercive control and the red flags that often go unnoticed in courtrooms. By exposing the systemic injustices and biases that perpetuate harm, it educates readers on the urgent need for reform. This book is not just a call to awareness but a call to action.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that anyone should read that has a friend or loved one going through divorce. I am thankful for these women who have been helping others navigate this corrupt system. Dr. Cocchiola has a protective parenting course that is very helpful. The more people know, the better equipped we are to do something about this injustice. Can’t want to read!!

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all women and all society who can help protect children from narcissistic abusers, abusers of the insidious coercive control behavior that most of us in society cannot identify easily. This book is an awakening of the harm that the family court system and its "professionals" can inflict on children and their mothers who try to report abuse.

There is a lack of knowledge even among mental health professionals on the manipulation from these abusers and the torture that so many women and children have to live through coparenting with men like this, the post-divorce abuse, the permanent damage done to children from the fear of living in silence with an emotional and psychological abuser.

This book is the voice of many victims living in fear and silence among us. Everyone from attorneys, mental health experts, pediatricians, school teachers should read this and have clarity when they are in front of an abuser so that they don't enable it.

[Wanda Chalker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot wait to read this book! The stories I have heard parents of all have similar experiences to things I have been through and I am excited to learn more about women sharing their journeys.

[Missy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book and be aware of the injustice in the court system.

[Julie Nee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having experienced it firsthand, I can confidently say there's no better book that exposes the institutional abuse within the family court system than this one. Cocchiola and Pollack use real-life stories to highlight the profound injustices faced by women and children in the US. These aren't tales from distant, oppressive regimes but from within our own democratic borders.

For those who have endured this or witnessed someone else go through it, the book may be triggering. Yet, it also offers a sense of validation and fosters a community among survivors.

[Caroline Kahriger · Rating 5 out of 5]

So very grateful for this book!! It is not just stories from thoses who suffered at the hands of judges in family court, but it is a MOVEMENT!!!!! Stories that need to be told, HEARD, and acted upon!! I wish I knew of these women when I got divorced from the narcissist that was/is my ex-husband and childrens father. It is devastating. And what the courts fall for is worse. And what happens to innocent children is sad. I support these women and am so thankful for what they are doing!!

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book!
It’s so important to become aware of how much injustice is happening in the family courts and how it’s affecting women and the children they are trying to protect.
Women and children deserve so much more action for justice and protection, unfortunately the family courts are complicit in allowing abusers to maintain control and continue the abuse through the courts.

[Cat Climaco · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will be a critical review for anyone who cares about the well-being of women and children in family court. Systematic child abuse is happening under our noses, it's time we brought this epidemic to light in the mainstream so we can do something about it.

[Violet Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

So excited to read this as a survivor of DV and witnessing the injustice in our system I believe that it’s necessary to stay informed.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book and very timely. Christine and Amy are absolute sheroes. It has real voices of victim-survivors coupled with the latest research and critical preventative actions that can be taken. You have both done something incredible here. This is a must read for any professional who works around family court and for any person who is engaged in family court or knows somebody who is.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am really looking forward to reading this book! This will help many women to know what to expect as they navigate the family court system.

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can’t wait to read. The work Dr. Cocchiola is doing for women in the family court system is vital and needs to be spread to every family court professional and woman entering the family court system.

[Martinique DePeel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is phenomenal and a must read for young women and women everywhere! The red flags are always there we just don’t know what exactly we’re looking for, this book spells them out. DO NOT dismiss the Coercive Controller, leave them before it’s too late. I wish I could give this book more stars, it’s just THAT good!

[Ruthie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horrifying

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is me. This is my child. This books sheds insight into the corruption of the family court and the lives of those it destroys. Children deserve better. Please join the fight and unite for change.

[Kerry Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an important book highlighting the truth about what happens behind the closed doors of our family court system. Thank you for your amazing work and support.

Kerry Hernandez
Author, Terminating Hope

[Christine Livingston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m grateful for these two powerhouse women who are shining a light on the dark side of the family court system. The stories are horrific and need to be told for the sake of protective parents and their children. I can’t wait to read this and share it with others.

[Heidi Sampson · Rating 5 out of 5]

To all of the single mothers who volunteered to share their experiences in this book, you are so brave, and you are not alone. To everyone else, this book needs to be required reading for every teenage lady, young woman, mom, and single mom. It also needs to be required for every single person in every single institution that works with single mothers and across college campuses. All judges, lawyers, law enforcement, and CPS, should read this book and then follow it up by learning more about coercive control.

We need to stop blaming single moms for what the fathers do. There should never be a child that loses their life and a Judge that responds to such a horrific ending by blaming the single mother for the death of her child. In Lundy Bancroft (2002) book, "Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men," he argued that a woman’s intuitive sense regarding her partner’s ability to cause problems or escalate in violence was substantially more accurate than any other warning sign. So, when are we finally going to listen to the one person who knows her ex-spouse best and whether or not her children are safe? It's not a high conflict divorce like "Framed" so eloquent states over and over and over. It's one person who is the coercive controller that utilizes the system to make the ex-wife pay for daring to leave, and the best way to make an ex-wife pay is by hurting her children.

Also, there should never be a law firm that mocks a mother for trying to do the right thing by saving her children from an abuser. Bancroft (2002) also stated in his book, "Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men," that we "need to create a social ethic that makes it clear that anyone who chooses to go to bat for a man accused of abuse has a responsibility to get all the facts and not just the view that he promotes. The abuse of women is simply too rampant for anyone to assume that an allegation is false or exaggerated without checking it out very, very carefully" (pp. 352–353). Enough is enough. It's time for a change. We need to stop supporting abusers and those who support abusers.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Earlier this year, as part of becoming a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, I had to take several continuing education courses on various aspects of narcissism and how it presents in those doing the abusing as well as how this type of abuse impacts those on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse. I've been doing this kind of work for almost six years now, but sadly (and embarrassingly) it wasn't until I had to take a course in my program on "coercive control" and the legal ramifications in the family court system that this concept was even introduced to me. I started following Christine Cocchiola on Instagram and discovered she wrote this new book about it, so I was interested to dive in and learn more.

While I had thought the book would give me more clinical and legal frameworks to help any clients of mine navigating this particular dynamic in their own lives, I found the numerous stories of women who experienced coercive control shared in the book was eye opening, scary, sad, and absolutely devastating. I'll be honest...I've read many books in my nearly 20 years of being a therapist, but this book was one of the hardest books I've read.

I found the back of the book to be helpful as far as giving updates on laws that have been and/or are being passed to include coercive control as something that carries more significant weight for protective mothers fighting against a legal system that seems to be stacked against them. It also gives warning signs of trauma bonding, coercive control, and how to spot potential traits of post separation abuse. Highly recommend this book for all therapists, not just therapists treating narcissistic abuse.

Coercive control needs to be studied by all therapists alike so they won't have blind spots when it comes to helping any clients that may be showing signs of it. As mentioned at the end of the book when referencing Kayden's Law, it could be an actual matter of life or death.