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How I Wonder Where You Are, Recognizing Adoptee Grief
2023 1st Place Purple Dragonfly Book Award - Family Matters
The Purple Dragonfly Book Award Contest is a worldwide book competition celebrating stories that are original, innovative, and creative in content and design. This children's book about adoption is a heartwarming book with themes of empathy and understanding.
Carla, who is adopted, wonders about her birth mother and family roots when she is asked to make a FAMILY TREE at school. Where does she come from? Who does she look like?Parents and educators will utilize this book as an effective tool to open up the discussion about the adoption triad, and the love of adopted parents and siblings. Carla discovers that wondering will always be a part of her. The love within her adoptive family is something to celebrate and share, however there is pain in thinking about the family that is unknown to her. Find out how Carla manages to keep both of these families close to her heart.
The Purple Dragonfly Book Award Contest is a worldwide book competition celebrating stories that are original, innovative, and creative in content and design. This children's book about adoption is a heartwarming book with themes of empathy and understanding.
Carla, who is adopted, wonders about her birth mother and family roots when she is asked to make a FAMILY TREE at school. Where does she come from? Who does she look like?Parents and educators will utilize this book as an effective tool to open up the discussion about the adoption triad, and the love of adopted parents and siblings. Carla discovers that wondering will always be a part of her. The love within her adoptive family is something to celebrate and share, however there is pain in thinking about the family that is unknown to her. Find out how Carla manages to keep both of these families close to her heart.
Paperback
Published September 11, 2022
4 people are currently reading
4 people want to read
About the author
Anna Maria DiDio
5 books8 followersAnna Maria DiDio, MSW - is an adoptive mother, speaker and author of multiple best selling children's and middle grade books. She is a baker, quilter, and washed-up athlete who is addicted to thin and crispy chocolate chip cookies. Her L.I.F.E.* Adventures Series of children’s books feature stories about adoption and are appropriate for all blended families. Anna Maria hopes that her books encourage open and honest exploration about what children are thinking and feeling. She resides in The City of Brotherly Love.
*Love Inspires Families Everywhere
https://medium.com/@annamaria.didio
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
August 27, 2023
How I wanted to like this book! Anna Maria DiDio’s book! Carla is an adoptee, originally from Colombia, now living with an Anglo family in the United States. Carla’s assignment — to build a family tree — strikes a nerve because she doesn’t know her birth mother or any of her family. Carla’s only been in the United States for a year, and she misses the food, sights and smells of Colombia. Her new family reassures Carla that it’s normal to wonder and that her new family understands and loves her.
Carla appears to be a teenager. Would she not remember her mother at all? Was she at a Colombian orphanage? Does she miss anyone she actually knew in Colombia? These facts contradict the simpler story that How I Wonder Where You Are hints at. Either DiDio should have made Carla younger, or the reader should have had more information on how Carla came to her new family.
That said, I loved the pastel illustrations.
In the interest of full disclosure, I received this book from NetGalley and BooksGoSocial in exchange for an honest review.
Carla appears to be a teenager. Would she not remember her mother at all? Was she at a Colombian orphanage? Does she miss anyone she actually knew in Colombia? These facts contradict the simpler story that How I Wonder Where You Are hints at. Either DiDio should have made Carla younger, or the reader should have had more information on how Carla came to her new family.
That said, I loved the pastel illustrations.
In the interest of full disclosure, I received this book from NetGalley and BooksGoSocial in exchange for an honest review.
September 20, 2022
Beautifully illustrated, poignant picture book from the perspective of the adopted child
I love the authenticity of this book. It really shows the highs and lows and everything in between from the perspective of the adopted child. My mom was adopted and recently, in her 70s, discovered the story of her birth parents and met 10 half siblings. Despite a loving upbringing with her adoptive parents, she still had questions. How I Wonder Where You Are shows that it is OK to have questions. It validates the feelings of the adopted child and shows the new family ways to lovingly accept these. I highly recommend this book!
I love the authenticity of this book. It really shows the highs and lows and everything in between from the perspective of the adopted child. My mom was adopted and recently, in her 70s, discovered the story of her birth parents and met 10 half siblings. Despite a loving upbringing with her adoptive parents, she still had questions. How I Wonder Where You Are shows that it is OK to have questions. It validates the feelings of the adopted child and shows the new family ways to lovingly accept these. I highly recommend this book!
August 2, 2024
Wonderful
This book has such a touching message. It speaks volumes to a life experience that so many people share yet is so isolating.
This book has such a touching message. It speaks volumes to a life experience that so many people share yet is so isolating.
July 10, 2024
Time is progress
A family tree is a great project for children to get to know their family members (especially a good introductory for adopted children). Thanks to the author for sharing another great story with the continuing of a young girl’s journey with her new family.
A family tree is a great project for children to get to know their family members (especially a good introductory for adopted children). Thanks to the author for sharing another great story with the continuing of a young girl’s journey with her new family.
August 19, 2023
This story does a good job of bringing up some of the unresolved issues around international adoptions in particular - including the fact that children may look very different from the adoptive parents as Carla does (coming from Colombia and being adopted by a anglo-saxon family), or that they may come from a culture where the food, traditions, and understandings about relationships are quite different.
It also discusses the issue of "disenfranchised grief" and how many adopted children feel sense of loss and longing for their birth families. This is often the case even if they are happy with their adoptive families.
Very often, these emotions are not recognised by others, including the adults around them, hence the use of the term disenfranchised grief.
By telling Carla's story, the book also discusses the sense of anger and abandonment a child may feel, which can cause them to lash out unintentionally. A simple homework assignment, such as the preparation of a family history, can trigger such feelings for an adopted child.
But there are also ways of being sensitive to, and of better handling such situations. And this story describes some of those tools. It would be a good book to read not only for adoptive parents and siblings, as well as adopted children, but also for anyone who has adoptees in their lives in any role. I give it 3.5 stars.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
It also discusses the issue of "disenfranchised grief" and how many adopted children feel sense of loss and longing for their birth families. This is often the case even if they are happy with their adoptive families.
Very often, these emotions are not recognised by others, including the adults around them, hence the use of the term disenfranchised grief.
By telling Carla's story, the book also discusses the sense of anger and abandonment a child may feel, which can cause them to lash out unintentionally. A simple homework assignment, such as the preparation of a family history, can trigger such feelings for an adopted child.
But there are also ways of being sensitive to, and of better handling such situations. And this story describes some of those tools. It would be a good book to read not only for adoptive parents and siblings, as well as adopted children, but also for anyone who has adoptees in their lives in any role. I give it 3.5 stars.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
September 18, 2022
Pondering Adoption Relationships
As an adoptive mother I read this book with great admiration for Anna Maria DiDio's theme from the child's viewpoint. One of my children was adopted from another country. Both are another race. Both have felt racism and have struggled to "fit in". My mother told my daughter, "You look different than your mom, but you have many of her ways." My daughter and I would marvel at other mothers and daughters who looked alike. My son said at age 6, "I 'd like to go back and tell her(his birth mother) that I'm ok. But I wouldn't go with her, Mom." I appreciate DiDio's educational comments about the hidden grief the child experiences. This book is beautifully written and the illustrations are outstanding. I highly recommend this book to all adoptive and blended families, as well as teachers and anyone who works with children. Learning the different aspects from a child's viewpoint is helpful to all. Thank you to DiDio for writing it!
As an adoptive mother I read this book with great admiration for Anna Maria DiDio's theme from the child's viewpoint. One of my children was adopted from another country. Both are another race. Both have felt racism and have struggled to "fit in". My mother told my daughter, "You look different than your mom, but you have many of her ways." My daughter and I would marvel at other mothers and daughters who looked alike. My son said at age 6, "I 'd like to go back and tell her(his birth mother) that I'm ok. But I wouldn't go with her, Mom." I appreciate DiDio's educational comments about the hidden grief the child experiences. This book is beautifully written and the illustrations are outstanding. I highly recommend this book to all adoptive and blended families, as well as teachers and anyone who works with children. Learning the different aspects from a child's viewpoint is helpful to all. Thank you to DiDio for writing it!
October 8, 2023
This picture book is about an adopted child's experience missing her homeland and wondering about her mother. The author is an adoptive mother and a social worker, and she conveys the child's emotional experience in a way that feels authentic.
The illustrations are nice, but the text is sometimes difficult to read when it fades into parts of the illustrations, and I found it somewhat confusing that this child had so much uncertainty about her background, since she was clearly older when she was adopted. Even though she would still grieve the absence of her mother and deal with questions about that, I felt that the level of vagueness she feels about her origin story would make more sense for someone who was adopted as a very small child. I wish that the book had included more details about her memories and experiences from her life before.
I received a temporary digital copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The illustrations are nice, but the text is sometimes difficult to read when it fades into parts of the illustrations, and I found it somewhat confusing that this child had so much uncertainty about her background, since she was clearly older when she was adopted. Even though she would still grieve the absence of her mother and deal with questions about that, I felt that the level of vagueness she feels about her origin story would make more sense for someone who was adopted as a very small child. I wish that the book had included more details about her memories and experiences from her life before.
I received a temporary digital copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
August 19, 2023
How I Wonder Where You Are effectively conveys the polarizing emotions that can surround adoption. Carla's adoptive family does not replace her first mother, and this book reinforces that it's okay to acknowledge the feelings of loss when transitioning into an adoptive family. The story also touches on the different experiences between Carla and her adoptive sister who looks and sounds like the rest of the family.
This book is beautifully illustrated, however, the white text over a beige background at points was difficult to read.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who is curious about the perspective of an adoptive child joining an established family unit, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. How I Wonder Where You Are would also be great for adoptive children and families to read together, as the message is both realistic and optimistic.
This book is beautifully illustrated, however, the white text over a beige background at points was difficult to read.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone who is curious about the perspective of an adoptive child joining an established family unit, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. How I Wonder Where You Are would also be great for adoptive children and families to read together, as the message is both realistic and optimistic.
September 25, 2023
One of those books geared to Being Useful as opposed to being entertaining, this does have enough emotion in it to be re-readable, but might possibly have managed both in a stronger way. It concerns a Colombian girl, adopted by a white American family. So while they have a family tree as long as you'd like, she feels like a fallen branch, wondering how her mother thinks of her, and missing the food from home. I can't disagree at all with the people thinking she's too old for the part in the visuals, as she's practically a teenager, but the feelings of being left out, and having been pushed asunder at least once in her life, will resonate with many. How useful is a school's family tree exercise when she clearly has none of their DNA, and will the family recognise this? Like I say, this is really geared to practical lessons and discussion-forming, and in that is surely successful.
September 3, 2023
This children's picture book tackles themes of adoption, birth family curiosity, and emotionally challenging school projects such as the family tree. Written by a social worker with experience in international adoption, the book felt real and acknowledging of all the complex and individual emotions a child may experience as an adoptee. The book was also beautifully illustrated, and the scenes complemented the dialogue. Some of the text was difficult to read, but I will chalk that up to formatting issues that often come across in electronic ARCs that don't display in printed editions or final electronic versions.
Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the opportunity to read and review this ARC.
Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the opportunity to read and review this ARC.
September 3, 2023
This children's picture book tackles themes of adoption, birth family curiosity, and emotionally challenging school projects such as the family tree. Written by a social worker with experience in international adoption, the book felt real and acknowledging of all the complex and individual emotions a child may experience as an adoptee. The book was also beautifully illustrated, and the scenes complemented the dialogue. Some of the text was difficult to read, but I will chalk that up to formatting issues that often come across in electronic ARCs that don't display in printed editions or final electronic versions. Thank you to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the opportunity to read and review this ARC.
October 4, 2022
An inspiring, charmingly illustrated, heartwarming story about a young girl named Carla who was adopted from Colombia. Although her new family experience is loving and positive, Carla still has feelings of grief and wondering. She is sometimes jealous of her sister who looks like their mom and tries to picture what her first mom looks like. She asks if it’s OK to love her first mom and her new mom thoughtfully replies, “Yes, we both can love her. Because of her, I have you.” This beautiful book is perfect for all ages, especially for families going through their own unique foster care journey.
September 23, 2023
I received a complimentary copy of this book via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are my own opinions.
This is my first book in the L.I.F.E Adventures series, and I am now going to look up book 1. It's very well written and displays the complex feelings and emotions an adopted child goes through. I think it will help kids to understand it's okay to miss your origin story when starting a new life chapter. Big feelings are to be expected.
It's also a good reminder to the parents that those big feelings are normal.
This is my first book in the L.I.F.E Adventures series, and I am now going to look up book 1. It's very well written and displays the complex feelings and emotions an adopted child goes through. I think it will help kids to understand it's okay to miss your origin story when starting a new life chapter. Big feelings are to be expected.
It's also a good reminder to the parents that those big feelings are normal.
September 15, 2022
Heart touching, relevant book about adoption
I truly appreciate the honesty in this book, in regards to the adopted child’s emotions, about adjusting to a new family in a foreign country. I would imagine it would be extremely difficult. The author captures the emotions so beautifully and I’m sure this book would be helpful for an adopted child adjusting to the USA. I truly enjoyed reading it! The art is beautiful too!
I truly appreciate the honesty in this book, in regards to the adopted child’s emotions, about adjusting to a new family in a foreign country. I would imagine it would be extremely difficult. The author captures the emotions so beautifully and I’m sure this book would be helpful for an adopted child adjusting to the USA. I truly enjoyed reading it! The art is beautiful too!
September 21, 2022
Great book about cross cultural adoption
This book is helpful for anyone who wants to understand what a child adopted into a different culture and country feels. Highly recommend for anyone who is thinking about adopting a child, who works with this population, or who just wants to learn more about it. If you haven’t read book 1 yet, read that one as well. This story is a continuation.
This book is helpful for anyone who wants to understand what a child adopted into a different culture and country feels. Highly recommend for anyone who is thinking about adopting a child, who works with this population, or who just wants to learn more about it. If you haven’t read book 1 yet, read that one as well. This story is a continuation.
November 24, 2022
a beautiful book with an important message
As an art teacher who has stocked her classroom with beautiful books, I recommend this book, not only for the watercolor illustrations, but for the important message. The frank and sensitive portrayal of the emotions that arise from the point of view of the adoptive daughter were touching. Other adopted children would benefit from this book and it could be an excellent discussion starter.
As an art teacher who has stocked her classroom with beautiful books, I recommend this book, not only for the watercolor illustrations, but for the important message. The frank and sensitive portrayal of the emotions that arise from the point of view of the adoptive daughter were touching. Other adopted children would benefit from this book and it could be an excellent discussion starter.
September 15, 2022
This is a touching tale of a young girl’s adoption into a new family and way of life. Coming from a different culture, Carla experiences a conflict of emotions whilst learning to adapt and embrace the family that have opened their hearts and door to provide her with a home full of love and security.
Sensitively written and beautifully illustrated.
Sensitively written and beautifully illustrated.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 20, 2022
Great story about adoption
This beautifully illustrated book addresses the questions that older adoptees struggle with while learning to adjust to their new family. While creating a family tree the young girl in the story experiences emotions that are probably common and it’s nice that this book shows that it’s okay for her to ask questions.
This beautifully illustrated book addresses the questions that older adoptees struggle with while learning to adjust to their new family. While creating a family tree the young girl in the story experiences emotions that are probably common and it’s nice that this book shows that it’s okay for her to ask questions.
September 21, 2022
A real glimpse into the emotions of adoption
I appreciate the realness the author conveyed about the adoption process. It is ongoing and a rollercoaster of emotions. This book will be so validating and useful for all families to help educate and understand the dynamics.
Wonderful illustrations too.
I appreciate the realness the author conveyed about the adoption process. It is ongoing and a rollercoaster of emotions. This book will be so validating and useful for all families to help educate and understand the dynamics.
Wonderful illustrations too.
September 29, 2022
Perfect for a young adopted child
The author does a great job showing the uncertainties and fear a child faces when adopted into a mixed family. Every little girl wants to feel a part of the family and in the book, she struggles with not looking like her family. This is a great way to normalize those feelings.
The author does a great job showing the uncertainties and fear a child faces when adopted into a mixed family. Every little girl wants to feel a part of the family and in the book, she struggles with not looking like her family. This is a great way to normalize those feelings.
February 21, 2023
Awesome Book!
This is a great story about living, loving, and overcoming as a child. This book will inspire and encourage many youth and adults who are in foster care or that have been adopted. I loved it.
This is a great story about living, loving, and overcoming as a child. This book will inspire and encourage many youth and adults who are in foster care or that have been adopted. I loved it.
February 6, 2023
It is very important to feel like you belong in a family. However, it is normal to miss what you once had. This story does a beautiful job illuminating these feelings for adopted children and their families, with endearing illustrations.
September 18, 2023
Being a child of adoption as well as my husband we enjoyed this book very much so beautifully and thoughtfully written and illustrated I believe this book should be a staple in group home settings as well as personal libraries in homes that openly accept any child in need
September 23, 2023
This is a beautiful sensitively written book about adoption. It leads to many discussions with pupils and allows them to empathise with the experiences of other children. It also would be a great comfort to any adopted children in school.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews